


Reconstruction | Book 2: Dreaming

by d8rkmessngr



Series: Reconstruction [2]
Category: Dark Angel
Genre: Anal Fingering, Depression, Disability, Explicit Language, First Time, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multiple Orgasms, Non-Consensual Touching, Not Beta Read, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protectiveness, Season 1 Spoilers, Secret Identity, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-07 06:06:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 46
Words: 475,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1887747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d8rkmessngr/pseuds/d8rkmessngr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec told Cale his real name, gone legit (<i>legit</i>), and started <strike>stalking</strike> following Logan Cale around. Something's up with Logan.  And Alec isn't sure what the hell he's doing either. He sure as hell was going to figure out one of the questions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I kept delaying and pushing off deadlines as I struggled to find a beta reader or 2 for this monster fic.
> 
> Rather than break _another_ deadline, I'm going ahead and post this fic in parts on Tuesdays and Fridays. That way, I can review each part carefully before posting.
> 
> However, this should still be regarded as **unbeta-ed**. **Please read with caution**. Far be it for me to say reviewing it over and over will catch all my mistakes. And if you see any, please let me know. Writing is a constant learning experience.
> 
> Apologies for this long author's note, but you guys deserved to know ahead of time. I owe you all at least this.

Gina's skin was this dark brown that reminded him of the creamy center of a truffle and when he treated her as such: licking and tasting and eating, she'd shivered, carded her fingers through his hair and called him "baby". She came warm and wet on his naked lap. Her breasts were full; a satisfying weight in his hands. They were firm against his chest as she rode him and her hair were these tantalizing tight curls that sprang back to shape when he tug at them. They framed her symmetrical heart-shaped face like a soft halo.

It should have been pleasant. Hell, she came twice, was tighter than a glove; this should have been _fantastic_.

But while she undulated around his dick, her head thrown back, exposing a flawless, un-inked swan's neck, all Alec could think of was:

_Too tall, not thin enough, eyes too big, voice does this weird titter when she cries out "Dean, oh, Dean", fingers kinda short and too soft, cheek's too smooth and lips too lush and too puckered and too pouty and she does this weird hip thing..._

What the hell was wrong with him? 

Darkness shrouded her cluttered bedroom; there was only a secondhand lamp flickering on top of a three-legged lopsided dresser. The lamp died after Gina came the first time and she was too whipped to climb off him to fix it. So when her sticky hands poke and prodded him for round two in the dark, it was fine by Alec. Hell, Gina was already bouncing on his lap before he could say "Okay." He supposed he should be flattered.

Even in the dark, Gina felt wrong, like she should have been someone else. So when her fingers trailed the back of his neck, Alec had to fight back the urge to shove her off. There was a sense of ickiness when the pads of her fingers press on the base of his healed neck before they skimmed down his bare back.

Gina dropped her head on his damp shoulder, breathing heavily into his ear. Another note: her breath smelled too much like the three Seattle sake bombs she drank for dinner. He had only five and was still sober enough to steer her out the bar, away from dark and lurking alleys and safely up to her apartment. It was an apartment she paid actual rent for and has its own working bathroom. It was a nice place in the nicer part of town so when she giggled and asked him to come upstairs and to take off his jeans, Alec wasn't exactly against it.

But now...

Alec stroked down the sleek line of her arched spine and idly marveled at the absence of scars.

"Mm, Dean. That was..." Fingers trailed down between them and she fondled his lax cock that slipped out. She plucked idly at the condom he sheathed. She leaned in and whispered.

"I work late tomorrow."

"I only have one condom," was Alec's response.

The night ended pretty quickly after that. 

 

Post-coital bliss on a rooftop in a winter's day was sobering.

Alec laced his fingers behind his head and gazed unblinkingly towards the sky. It was only starting to reveal its stars to a brown-out city. He crossed his legs and thought back action by action, step by step, reviewing what he did, what _she_ did and tried to figure out why the hell everything fell short.

_Nada._

Scowling, Alec sat up. He rested on the raised edge and peered down the side of the building. Pillars of weak light marked each floor, but he focused only on the one two levels down.

Two days ago, Logan promised to find out his twin's name. Alec wondered if his twin got the name after someone had shouted it to him. Did his twin truncate it or did he picked his own name? Did he also have a worn copy of _1001 Baby Names_ in his pack? Did he circle and tagged each candidate and tried each one for a spin a week? 

Or did he go with a designation?

Alec dropped his head on the ledge. The rough concrete dug into the tender skin under his chin. He exhaled slowly.

Why the hell did he tell Logan his name? _There goes incognito, 494._

Logan's eyes were pale green-golden when he stared up at Alec after Alec confessed. They were wide, startled, matching the partially opened mouth. Shit, Alec had swooped right in and devoured that mouth. If Logan had made another one of those sounds again, he would have crushed Logan into the couch, trying to crawl into his skin—

Alec pressed the heel of his hand over the knot of heat in his groin. He ran the tip of his tongue over his lower lip, over and over until he realized that heat was now sitting uncomfortably large and demanding against his jeans' zipper. His hand jerked away.

_Geez, 494, it was just a kiss._

Only it wasn't just a kiss. Even if Alec went prowling for another Gina, he knew he would still taste Logan in his mouth.

"Son of a..."

His chin ached vaguely when he knocked it on the ledge a few times to shake out the traitorous musing of what it would feel like to have Logan murmur "Dean" against his skin while Alec drove his cock into his body? 

No. Not Dean. 

_Alec_.

"Stupid, man, stupid." Alec flopped down on the roof and folded his arms over his eyes. He stomped his boots on the roof. His knees throbbed so he did it again.

His palms itched; remembering how firm, how surprisingly muscled Logan's thigh was when Alec smoothed a palm up towards his goal. Alec wasn't lying when he said he would make it good for him. He wondered why Logan bothered lying that he was worried it wouldn't be good for Alec.

Alec thought briefly back to Gina. _She_ had no complaints about his technique. Getting it up was not a problem for this X-5. And despite what Alec suspected Logan was worried about, it didn't bother him. Hell, there were _lots_ of things they could do. Alec was a creative guy. Nine out of ten johns agree; the other was usually too high to get it up anyway. 

His hands curled and twitched. Alec thought about how light Gina felt straddling him. Logan was thin on good days, but Alec remembered how Logan felt when he helped him back into his chair. Logan felt warm and solid. Quiet strength pressed against Alec and Logan was firm in all the right places. 

It wouldn't be easy like Gina was on his lap; the man proved his upper body strength made up for his legs and even if his cheekbones were a little too angular, he couldn't be considered a feather either. Alec could imagine him though, astride Alec's lap, powerful arms holding himself upright as he rode Alec's cock, controlling the pace as his shoulders flexed to keep him steady.

And Alec could see his hands palming that ass, thumbs massaging and seeking, spreading him wider, fingers gripping Logan's hips possessively as he pistons up into that dark heat he knew would be so goddamn tight, muscles playing down the strong line of his back when Logan comes because oh _fuck_ , Alec sure as hell was going to make him come again and again, as sure as he knew he'll shatter just as violently into Logan over and over, filling that ass until his cum spill—

"Argh!" Alec's legs kicked out as he physically shook himself out of whatever the _hell_ that was. He slammed back to the ledge, panting. His elbows smarted when they smacked into the ledge. His head rung briefly when it struck the concrete. But the dual pain was nothing compared to the tightening in his groin, aching so acutely, he needed to hunch over, forehead to knees, his breath ragged and loud in his ears.

No, no, no. Oh hell, _no_. This can't happen. Logan made it clear he didn't want it to happen. Alec has no interest in taking on someone else's baggage either. He has enough problems with Manticore. And an expensive lab experiment like himself has no right wishing for this normal life shit. 

Logan didn't know what he was missing though, but unlike some assholes, Alec can take "no" for an answer just fine.

But that kiss...

The night air picked up around him, strengthening as it swirled higher to the roof. It had the tang of iron rich soot, grease and ozone. It promised a thunderstorm. Perfect. Alec needed a cold shower right about now. He pressed the heel of his hand over his traitorous erection and tried to think of anything else. Finally, it took him reciting the computer equation P versus NP in Farsi before it felt like he could straighten up. 

Below him, Chinese hockey lad— _oops_ , Mrs. Moreno was watching basketball tonight. 

Alec snorted. It sounded like the same sportscaster though, cursing in Mandarin as Jordan slam dunks another one for the Shanghai Lakers, bringing them to 107 against the London Pacers' 92. The TV's tinny roar escaped Moreno's window. Then it abruptly cut off when she shut the TV. Time for bed for Mrs. Moreno, Chinese basketball be damned.

Alec pursed his lips. He peered over the side of the building. Not going to Logan's would end up being a bigger deal than it really is. After all, he did say he was coming by, right? A kiss was just a kiss. In some places, it was only "Hello." If Logan wanted to live as a monk until his dick fell off, fine. If the guy wanted to pick his porn over the real thing, Alec could deal. 

_Uh huh._

_Shut up._

Grumbling, Alec peered over the edge again. He canted his head and listened. The apartment has been quiet for the past four minutes. 

Mrs. Moreno was probably asleep by now. Surely, Logan was too.

At the thought of Logan in bed, long lashes curtained against the angle of cheekbones, Alec's cock twitched once more.

"Knock it off!" Alec glared down at his crotch. "Guy's not interested. Don't screw with our meal ticket."

Crap, _wrong_ choice of words.

Alec grit his teeth together. He gave himself a demerit: fifty-one handed push-ups. He finished them quickly, fast enough to get his blood pounding in his ears. He sat there trembling against the ledge. When he realized he'd been absently stroking the thick gray scarf around his throat, he hastily pulled his hand down and sat on it.

Maybe he'll come back tomorrow instead.

Alec nodded fervently to himself. He jumped to his feet. He leaned over to bid Logan good night but paused when he realized there was still a faint beam of light coming out from the window under Mrs. Moreno's.

A scoff escaped.

"Seriously, Heather?" Alec peeled back the cover on his watch. He could easily make out the hour.

Alec scowled. None of his business. Logan always kept weird hours. He rounded his shoulders and turned on his heels. Tomorrow, he'll drop by tomorrow.

Logan's scarf brushed under his chin. Alec's stride faltered. 

He was already here. Maybe the fridge is stocked. He did miss dinner. Oh yeah, and lunch.

Alec absently rubbed a thumb into the thick stitching warm around his throat. He glanced over his shoulder. 

 

By the time he rappelled down to Logan's floor, it had occurred to Alec how stupid this was. Didn't he decide he'll come back tomorrow? But before he could reel himself back up, the hunched figure in the computer area beckoned. He paused, hanging on his harness, swaying in the breeze, his fingertips lightly pressed to the glass to keep him from penduluming too far.

The light overhead cast Logan in shadow; his skin dusted in darkness. There was a square patch of light he was leaning towards with all the intent of a freezing man seeking fire. Head down, shoulders slouched, Logan appeared to have been in that position for hours. Alec confirmed it when Logan stretched his arms above his head before one hand dropped down to massage the back of his neck. 

Alec hung there, unsure why he didn't slip through the window or just climb back up to the roof. He stared at Logan's back, half-concealed by the wheelchair. He thought about the open-mouthed expression Logan gave him when he told him his name. He wondered if he had stayed then, what that expression would have changed to. 

After his personal rubdown, Logan tapped a fist to his right shoulder. He reached down behind him and kneaded his lower back. 

It looked like Logan was getting ready for an all-nighter if the carafe of coffee on his desk was any indication. He reached for the takeout box next to it and gave it a few half-hearted pokes with a spoon. He took a few bites and set the carton back on the desk the second something flickered on his computer screen. Then, he assumed the position again: slouched forward like a mad scientist over his keyboard.

But then, Logan paused.

Sitting higher, Logan slowly turned his chair and looked behind him.

Alec froze with one hand curled around the rigging, the other flat on the glass, pressing down so hard, the tips of his fingers turned white.

Separated by glass, Alec stared at Logan. Logan stared back and at this point, Alec thought someone should do something because he was feeling like a pinned specimen on a slide and Logan looked like someone smacked him with a dead fish.

After a blink, Logan's mouth tentatively curved. He slowly raised a hand and gave Alec a tiny wave. He shrugged one shoulder. It looked like he made a short laugh.

Alec smiled back crookedly and slipped a hand into the inch of space Logan left open in his window. He noted with disapproval that Logan didn't even bother setting the alarm this time. He shunted the thought to the back of his mind as he carefully stepped through the window. It was unnerving to do this with Logan watching yet ridiculous at the same time Alec even found it disturbing.

Once inside, Alec took his time shutting the window, even setting the alarm before taking a steadying breath. He felt oddly lightheaded, but he pivoted around on the count of three.

Logan never moved, still watching Alec from the distance. Something flickered across his face. His shoulders lost some of the terse line that sat across them.

"Hey."

Alec blinked. Wasn't that _his_ line? He cleared his throat.

"Hey." Alec nodded towards the computer area. "You're up late."

Logan didn't look behind him. "Could say the same about you."

"Yeah, well..." Alec found himself shrugging again.

"Look, I—"

"I get—"

They both spoke at once. For a second, it wasn't clear who said what. Logan gestured towards him to go ahead.

Alec shoved his hands in his pockets. "Sorry I didn't tell you my real nam—that my name wasn't Dean." 

It was both a relief and disconcerting when Logan's shoulders lifted briefly, his face perfectly blank.

"I, of all people, can understand the need for an alias." Logan rolled into the living room. 

"I've used one from time to time." Logan slanted him a look. "Us porn writers need a pseudonym from time to time."

Alec cracked a smile. "You mean you're not just Heather?"

Logan snorted. 

The sound seemed to have broken up the thick air that hung between them. Alec leaned back into the couch. He tracked Logan now going into the dining area.

"Wasn't sure if..." Logan hesitated, a manila folder now on his lap. "When you might be back." As Logan drew closer, he handed Alec the folder. "I knew the names before but never researched whom each belonged to."

It was thin, but it felt like a time bomb ticking away in Alec's hands. He studied the plain folder. His brow rose when he noticed a bright yellow square stuck on a corner.

"Like I said," Logan said awkwardly. "Wasn't sure when. Thought I would just leave it out with a note for you in case we miss each other. Since I can't messenger it to you." He coughed. "I mean, no address and everything."

Alec idly plucked at the note. He could easily read out Logan's almost ruler straight print.

_Alec, his name was Ben._

It looked like Logan started out with _Dean_ , but the 'D' and 'E' were crossed out, _Alec_ was written in its place with careful print, neat and concise. 

"Ben." Alec tried the word. It sat heavy on his tongue. He studied the kid staring stoically back at him with a few others. They were all dressed in camouflage with shaved heads and emotionless eyes. They stood like perfect little soldiers, dressed in gray sweats, standing in parade rest. It looked like some twisted parody of a family portrait. 

"He's a year or two older," Logan went on. "Escaped Manticore in '09 and separated from the others." Logan's chair creaked as it rocked back and forth. 

"They were all kids, really. Some were fortunate enough to be taken in, others..."

"They weren't trained to deal with the Outside yet," Alec said numbly. He scanned the photo; he wondered if he'd trained with any of them before. "Good old Ben went to see the world, only the world bit back." 

He was flawed.

Alec swallowed. He closed the folder and tried to give it back to Logan, who shook his head.

"You keep it."

"Why?" Alec shot back before he could stop himself. "It's not like I knew any of them."

Logan didn't comment. Well, he couldn't because suddenly, a yawn interrupted.

Alec smirked at the annoyance Logan couldn't hide. "Don't tell me I'm boring you." He waved with the folder towards the bedroom. 

Logan's gaze drifted to his computer area instead. "I'm waiting for a call."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Probably asleep like everyone else." At Logan's pointed look, Alec grinned toothily. "Me? Sleep? This is like, the Golden hour." He rubbed his thumb and index together. 

Logan chuckled. "I guess my Baroque vases are safe for another day then, Alec—What?" He frowned, having caught Alec's expression.

"No, nothing..." Alec scratched his jaw. "First time you called me Alec." 

"Oh." Logan gave it some thought. "I could call you Dean," he offered.

"No. Alec is fine. It was just...weird." Surprisingly, not a bad kind of weird. Alec's stomach was doing flip flips though. He eyed the carton left in the computer area.

"Anything to eat?" Alec waved towards the carton. He smirked. "Or if you're tired, want me to tuck you in?" He snickered and held up his hands at Logan's expression. 

"Don't look like that. I know I'm not your type." Alec squashed down the churning in his stomach. "I got the message last time but thought it couldn't hurt to try." 

Logan sighed but at least he didn't look freaked out or about to get his gun. He smiled ruefully as he went around and transfer over to the couch. 

"My type?" Logan mused. It didn't look like he meant it for anyone's ears but his own. He leaned into the couch and waved wearily over his shoulder towards the computer area.

Alec retrieved the carton on the computer desk and peered inside the nearly full container of vegetarian fried rice. He made a face after he stirred around the clumpy cold rice.

"You sure? I think I'm actually I'm desperate enough to eat this." 

"Go ahead," Logan said tiredly. "I wasn't in the—"

"Mood for it. Yeah, yeah. Where have I heard that before?" Alec shoveled rice into his mouth. He made a face but gulped down the food. He wasn't a fan of bean sprouts but beggars, choosers and all that.

"Didn't you eat?" Logan frowned. "Because it can't be that good."

Alec's burp earned him a face. He grinned at Logan, unrepentant. 

"I'm a growing boy." Alec shrugged. "Just had breakfast. No biggie. Keeping my expenses low. PD's been prowling the streets more lately for some reason. So just late night work but that's been slim pickings too." 

Alec gestured to his neck with the spoon. "And I might as well be wearing a neon sign with this. Still gotta find a new guy too." He brightened. "Unless _Heather_ wants to bet on me again?" 

Logan's mouth pressed thin. "The cages? Thought you're staying low?"

"Thing about underground betting, no one's gonna rat me out and screw up a good thing to be an upstanding citizen." 

Logan sighed. "There must be a better way."

"Hey, like I said before, if you think of anything, feel free to tell me." 

Alec stabbed the spoon deep into the carton. The rice was suddenly gummy in his mouth. "I, uh...I need to keep scarce until the police slack off again. Try not to miss this pretty face too much." He thought about the shrinking wad of cash rolled up in his boot. There were always the johns. The thought of going back to his alley, though, was making him feel queasy. 

"Oh darn," Logan said dryly. "I was going to write all about you in my diary."

Alec perked up. "Yeah? What would you have said? ' _Dear diary, It's so boring with my porn without Ale—_ '" He stopped.

"What?" Logan's gaze rooted Alec to his spot even from all the way from the couch.

Alec shrugged. "Nothing," he mumbled. He steered for the kitchen. 

"I'm gonna raid your fridge. It better not be pathetic again." After a quick look though—wasn't hard, there was nothing in there—Alec shut the fridge with a snort of disgust. "Never mind."

"Alec. What is it?"

Logan appeared ready to get back into his chair again. Alec moved away from the kitchen. He stuck his hands in his pockets again.

"Nothing." Alec squinted into the carton of rice. He stirred it listlessly. "Hey, I think this got some bad meat in it. Wasn't this supposed to be—"

"Alec."

It sounded so different when Logan said his name. Then again, no one's said his name unless he counted himself and the woman he'd tried to pickpocket once. She'd call him a smart alec when he tried to pick her up after she caught him. No, looker as she was, she didn't count. No. Only Logan. Besides himself trying it out in the mirror, only Logan ever said his name.

"I am sorry," Alec murmured. 

"Huh?"

Alec could feel a flush creeping up his neck. It was an unfamiliar feeling. He squirmed.

"About my name," Alec muttered. 

"Thank you for trusting me with it."

Alec furrowed his brow. 

"Sure," Alec said slowly. Logan was giving him some goofy dopey looking eyes. Thinking quickly, Alec smirked at him. Logan blinked.

"I'm not sorry about that kiss though."

Sure enough, it disarmed Logan. A bit of pink stained his cheeks in a way Alec wanted to lick it off.

Logan twisted around in the couch and faced the windows. 

"About that," Logan murmured.

Alec's grin faded. "It wasn't bad, was it?"

"No! I mean, it wasn't, but we shouldn't—" Logan fumbled. He sighed. "It wasn't awful."

" _Wasn't awful_?" Alec repeated. "That's the same as saying not great. Hey, I give _excellent_ kisses, full on teeth and tongue action. Here, let me show yo—"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Logan sounded panicked. He didn't turn around but Alec caught the wide-eyed expression reflected off the windows.

Alec sobered. "Hey. If it's not your thing, no problem, but I'm pretty sure you kissed me back."

The back of Logan's ears turned into an interesting red.

"I..."

Alec approached the couch slowly because he was pretty sure Logan would find some way to bolt if Alec made any sudden moves, like, climb him like a tree. 

"You _did_ kiss me back." Alec stooped over Logan's ear. He leaned in, shy of mouthing that curve. He gingerly nosed the strands of short hair by the temples.

Logan audibly gulped hard.

"I don't just kiss real well," Alec whispered. "There are a lot of things I do really well." He slipped a hand over a tensed shoulder. He gave it a squeeze and felt a shiver shimmy under Logan's skin. 

"Alec..." Logan's shoulders slumped. "We...Alec, I can't. I just... _can't._ Can we drop this? "

Alec smoothed his palm up the slope of Logan's neck. He could feel the convulsive swallow.

"You sure you want me to do that?" Alec pressed his thumb into the bumps of vertebrae: C2, C3, C4. Press and release, circle, coax the warm flush crawling up Logan's unblemished nape to spread.

"Don't." Logan leaned forward, pulling away from Alec's reach. 

Alec's hand dropped to his sides. He stared at the back of Logan's head. 

"I don't get it," Alec said, frustrated. "I wasn't imagining things. Was I?"

Logan didn't look like he was going to answer but after a beat, he slowly shook his head.

"Then what the hell?"

"Because I have to live with this for the rest of what's left of my life." Logan didn't indicate towards anything, but the reference was clear. "You shouldn't have to."

"I told you: that doesn't bother me." 

"It should."

Alec breathed sharply through his nose. "Stop telling me what I should do, all right? If you haven't noticed already, I kind of stopped following orders since I left Manticore after Berrisfo—" He snapped his mouth shut. His insides clenched because, what the hell? 

If Logan heard Alec's verbal breach of security, he gave no sign. He dropped his face into his palms and sighed. He muttered something.

"What?" Alec sat down next to Logan. "You're going have to speak up. Mumble is one language Manticore didn't teach."

Logan lifted his face from his hands and gave him a wary sideways look. 

Alec made sure he was on the far end opposite Logan because it looked like the guy was worried about Alec pouncing him. 

"Well?"

Hazel eyes slid away. Logan appeared fascinated by the stripe of wall underneath the windows. "I said it bothers _me_."

Ice lumped in the base of Alec's throat. He faced forward as well. "Oh."

"I..." Logan's voice was raspy as if he had been shouting. "I shouldn't take what you're offering when I can't..." Adam's apple working, Logan didn't finish.

"You don't know that," Alec said quietly. "You said before you could feel some things."

"But it might not be enough."

" _Might_? Don't you want to know for sure?" 

"No...not really."

Alec studied Logan's profile tilted away from him.

"You're scared," Alec accused.

"I am." Logan didn't even bother denying it.

Taken aback, Alec blinked. He slumped into the couch. He scratched his jaw. 

"I don't know how to help you with that," Alec admitted.

Logan laughed awkwardly. "Me too." He scrubbed his face tiredly. "Can't we just have this? It's...it's enough."

 _I don't even know what_ this _is_ , Alec wanted to shout. He shrugged instead. He picked at the couch cushion underneath him.

"Alec..." Logan said tentatively.

"Whatever." Alec shrugged again. 

"I appreciate what you're trying to do and it's kind of you to—"

" _Kind_?" Alec rolled his eyes. "Newsflash, Heather. I don't do kind and I don't do pity. You think I want to jump your bones because I feel _sorry_ for that cute ass? You're not exactly hideous."

"Thank you," Logan returned awkwardly. "I think." He coughed and went back to staring at his stupid, boring wall.

"Sorry for you," Alec grumbled as he did the same, but only because he suspected crawling up Logan's lap to show him just how _not_ sorry Alec felt for him might be counterproductive. "I don't feel sorry for your bony ass. Hell, sometimes I want to kick it, you idiot." He pretended to glower at Logan. "You are such a cockblocker."

Logan choked. "Sorry." He tried to smile, but it failed completely. He looked so miserable. There was a freaky moment Alec thought Logan was going to do something gross like get mopey or worse: cry.

"Fine," Alec griped. "You want to do the no sex, no kissing, how-ya-doing-pal thing. We'll do it, get a secret handshake, shit like that."

It really pissed Alec off that Logan relaxed at his words. Alec clamped his mouth shut. Whatever. His loss. Alec didn't need this drama. He could get his rocks off elsewhere. Maybe miraculously find another condom for Gina.

"Thank you." Logan bleakly looked out at the window. "It's for the best. This...it wouldn't have worked out."

Alec wished Logan didn't sound so god damn sure. He wished Logan didn't sound so resigned that whatever _this_ was, it was all he could have. 

But Alec also wished Logan would stop staring at that crummy spot under the window.

Alec snorted loudly, drawing Logan's eyes away from it. 

"You don't know what you're missing." Alec shot Logan a smirk. His face strangely hurt doing it.

When Logan tentatively grimaced back, Alec elbowed him in the ribs.

"Seriously though...it was a pretty good kiss, wasn't it?"

Startled, Logan barked out a laugh. He looked so relieved, Alec wanted to grab him by those nice shoulders and give him a hard shake. Hard enough to shake that broody crap that must be in Logan's DNA right out of him.

Alec didn't give into the temptation though and only prodded him again. "Come _on_. It was good, wasn't it? Didn't you see stars? Didn't you suddenly want to burst into song, praising how awesome my kiss was? Didn't the ground move? What on the Richter scale? An eight? Bet it was a ten!"

It wasn't fair how Logan's half-choked laughter was so damn cute because the urge to rattle sense back into the guy evaporated as soon as Alec heard it.

"It wasn't..." Logan dropped his head to the couch, his shoulders shaking. "It wasn't _that_ good."

Alec leered. "That's only because you got the Bronze special."

"Wait, the what?"

Pursing his lips exaggeratedly, Alec splayed one hand on his stomach, the other hand out. He pretended to sway his hips on the couch. He stopped when a throw pillow smacked in his face.

Logan took his glasses off, thumbing the corner of his eyes dry. His chuckles faded, but he was still smiling when he slid his spectacles back over his nose.

Not wanting to hear Logan tout again how it was better this way, martyr Cale knows best, blah, blah, Alec faced the windows. Funny, he never sat here like this: looking out the window like some rich dude savoring his view.

Logan seemed content not to say anything as well. He sank back into the cushions.

The silence between them was comfortable, so comfortable, Alec snuck a look over to Logan to see if maybe Logan found it just as freaky. His breath caught when he discovered Logan blinking sleepily out the window, into the night, his eyes a cloudy jade, his mouth a soft line.

Throat working, Alec averted his gaze. He bit his lower lip and watched the stars dimmed as Seattle's lights took over. Even though he was only one end of the couch, he thought he could feel Logan's shoulder just off of his. His skin prickled.

Alec opened his mouth. Then he shut it again. He rubbed the back of his neck. His mouth was dry yet his palms were sweaty.

"Seriously," Alec said hesitantly, "it...it wasn't bad, right? Because..." He took a deep breath. "I thought it was all right. Pretty good. It could even have made good screen time for your porn. I mean... _I_ thought it was good. We could try..."

Alec stopped when he faced Logan.

Slumped sideways on the couch now, eyeglasses askew, Logan slept. He snored softly, slightly congested. His breaths whistled softly through his nose.

Alec cleared his throat. Logan didn't wake. His mouth tilted up as he watched Logan mumbled something unintelligible, his brow knitting.

Quietly, Alec snagged the fleece throw rolled up in the nearby wheelchair and tossed it over Logan's legs. He carefully plucked the thin eyeglasses off. The last thing the world needed was a reappearance of those ugly replacement frames. 

Logan didn't stir. Alec stretched closer to Logan's side and watched him sleep, his eyes moving under shut eyelids.

"So much for waiting for that call," Alec murmured, the corner of his mouth twitching.

It would be easy; to reach out, trace a finger around Logan's mouth, down the topography of his body. Alec caught himself just before his finger could skim the shape of Logan's brow.

Alec shook his head. He rose to his feet and made for the window. He stopped. He then tiptoed to the computer area. A quick search yielded what he needed. He scribbled out the simple sentence on a clean post note. After a moment's hesitation, he signed it as well. 

With a quiet snicker, Alec crept back and stuck the note on Logan's forehead. And he couldn't help it; Alec brushed a fingertip across Logan's lower lip.

Thankfully, Logan slept on. 

Alec wondered why it felt like he was wadding through mud when he turned away. He recoupled his rigging and slipped out the window, making sure to close it shut behind him with the alarm set. Alec climbed, faster to the roof before he could duck back inside to reclaim the note.

_Your fridge makes me sad.  
Alec_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for "Haven" Strong language in this chapter.

_The alarm's off._

Alec stared at the yellow square stuck high on his window. He hung there, sitting on his bowline like some cheesy ass kiddie swing, swaying in the wind. The air reeked of ozone, promising more than Seattle's usual drizzle in a few hours. The back of his neck itched in response. It could also be because the scarf could only do so much for so long; spring was only three months away.

The file Alec kept stuffed at the bottom of his backpack for a week was now tucked securely in between his body and the new (well, new to him) aviator's jacket. He'd swapped a canister of gas and a couple of gold plated candlesticks for the ratty thing. The moron in the pawn shop was too busy drooling then to realize the candlesticks' plating was as thin as the jacket Alec finally gave up for scraps. Too many slipping through barb wired fences and tight holes had shredded it.

Shrugging, Alec let the unfamiliar weight of his jacket settle more securely across his shoulders. He absently wished Eyes Only didn't go all forgetful on his downtrodden citizens. The guy had only broadcasted one good lead days ago (on _Bronck_ , too, geez, death wish, much?) and then clamped shut; the corrupt free to run rampant. 

Too bad. 

Mr. Gold had a pair of boots there that needed filling too. But the asshole wanted cash for those. And Alec was still only risking night jobs. Cash was as rare as a hot meal these days. 

Alec frowned mildly at the note taped to the inside of the window, shut this time. But with no alarm, that was pretty pointless. There was even a god damn _keycard_ taped to the window. No code but those things were laughably easy to crack.

Behind the note, the apartment was dark, but not for Alec. He squinted, gave the place a quick scan and determined the apartment was empty as well. Dark, empty and with the alarms shut.

"Stupid, Heather," Alec muttered as he curled a fist tighter on his harness, readying to reel himself back up to the roof and scope out payday the old-fashion way since Eyes Only apparently was feeling disinclined to line his pockets this week. 

Hell, if things get desperate, there were other ways to get cash. There were itches that always needed scratching. 

But when the line winched up an inch, Alec paused.

That damn note on the window was practically a beacon. Anyone else climbing by the window was going to see it and hey, open house for thieves, boo-yah. Maybe climb in, steal Alec's lesbian vases, paw all over Alec's stuff (because he called dibs). And maybe, they decide to hide in the bedroom, in the dark, waiting for Logan to come home, watch him ease into bed and then they'll—

Alec didn't realize he was in the apartment until his rigging jerked him back because he forgot to release his harness.

With a _snick_ and a scowl at himself, Alec tugged the lines free and let them pool on the carpet. He snatched note and keycard off the window. He turned on the alarm like it should have been in the first place. 

Alec eyed the perimeter. When it didn't look like anyone was lunging out at him to stake a claim on the loot, Alec crept forward another step.

It wasn't the first time Alec entered this place when it was empty, but damn if he knew why his stomach writhed uncomfortably at the sense of intrusion because—hello?—breaking in, although that was Logan's fault with the alarm and all. He toed the sofa's legs, nudged the coffee table and thought about how funny his breathing sounded in the void.

Alec moved easily in the dark. He scanned the computer area, the dining table (holy shit, the stacks of folders on it have bred and multiplied) and studied the shut bedroom door. He took a peek inside the room. Same boring ass decor, navy fleece blanket folded up neatly by the pillow. 

Laptop was missing. The gray sweatshirt was gone. A toiletry bag was missing as well. There was a gap in the bottom of the closet he vaguely recalled a duffle bag once sat. 

Alec stood in the center of the bedroom. He took a deep breath. Coffee and the faint musky odor mixed with ink and paper still lingered but it was faint. A few days then. He shifted from foot to foot as the trace scent stirred heat deep in his gut. 

Abruptly, Alec pivoted on his heels and left the room. Even though no one was here to see him, he forced himself not to run out of there. 

Four steps through the living room (because he didn't just blaze out of Logan's bedroom, damn it), Alec approached the kitchen. It looked strange cloaked in the darkness. The overhead sconces hung dark. They swayed when Alec turned on one. 

Alec fidgeted. He unwound the scarf around his neck and squeezed the folds of wool in his hands as he considered the gleam of chrome and slick glow of wood. The bowl that held apples before now sat full of glossy skinned oranges and— _whoa—pears_ on the counter.

The pear felt heavy in his palm. It was cool, round, and the scent left on his hand was grassy and crisp. Alec poked at the pile in the bowl. He caught an orange he accidentally dislodged before it could bruise on the floor. He hefted the orange in his other hand. He wanted to bring both fruits to his nose and take a good whiff.

Alec's upper lip curled. 

What the hell was he doing here? Sniffing fruit? Seriously?

Alec flipped the scarf back around his neck as he steered for the window.

The note attached to the refrigerator caught his eye.

_Out for a few days. Help yourself (to my food, not my things). Fridge no longer sad.  
Heather_

Alec quirked an eyebrow at the note. He reached out for it, hesitated before completing the move to pluck the note off the slick surface. Alec snorted as he reread the concise handwriting. He pulled the door open to take a peek inside and the snort became a scoff out loud when he saw a half dozen peanut butter jars sitting on the top shelf lined up with two jugs of goat milk and a loaf of bread. 

Something wiggled in Alec's gut as he stared at the fridge's containers. A tiny voice that suspiciously sounded like Lydecker warned him not to touch it. His knees ached, remembering how once his platoon was forced to go hungry for five days before they broke into the commissary and ate the food in there. 

Only it had all been poisoned.

Alec and his platoon spent a day throwing up because they were all too stupid and desperate to remember the first cardinal rule. Alec still remembered that bastard staring at the back of their bowed heads, disappointment heavy in his voice as he told them they should have known better.

The orange and pear were reluctantly returned to the bowl. Alec leaned against the counter as he contemplated the computer area and the dining table before him. He looked at the note again, but it offered no new answers even when he squinted at it. He threw a puzzled frown at the fridge, his fingers idly rubbing the note between the fingers. He wandered over to the table and compared it to the folders. The handwriting was a match. 

The folder with Ben's name, picture, serial number and all the crap Alec read over and over, looked out of place when he set it on top of the stack on the dining table. Alec rubbed at the folders discolored with random notes and coffee cup rings. Ben's folder was new, clean manila and still sharp-edged.

"All right," muttered Alec. "What's the story here?" The file folder appeared to have been replaced, not just yanked out from the piles. And where the hell did these other folders came from?

The folders made a muffled _fhpp_ noise when he ran a finger down the corners. He felt weird thumbing through the files on the desk even though he's done this before: mining bits of data in the cloak of darkness, time running down in his head by seconds, not minutes. Besides, Logan did say 'feel free' and he did turn over Ben's file and—

Before Alec could make any decision, the phone in the living room rang.

Alec stopped. 

The phone clicked, Logan's even yet raspy voice told the caller to leave a message at his or her own risk and fell silent.

There was a beep. 

A throat cleared.

"Hey." Alec found himself speaking into the phone before he could tell himself it was a bad idea. 

_"Oh."_ Logan sounded surprised. _"You're there."_

Alec rolled his eyes before he remembered Logan couldn't see it. "No. This is your answering service. Thought I return that file. Plus, you left a gaping security breach by your window." He smirked. "I hocked all your stuff, by the way, but left you a couple of g-strings."

 _"Thank you_." Logan's reply was as dry as Alec's mouth suddenly went; the unbidden image of Alec's underwear of choice on Logan wrung out whatever moisture he had in his mouth.

Cradling the phone against his shoulder, Alec strolled to the computer area; Logan's note still pinned between two fingers. "Seriously. No alarms? Bad move. What if you have a break-in?"

 _"That's never occurred to me_ ," Logan deadpanned. Alec could imagine the crooked smile that would have paired off with it.

"Shut up," Alec shot back as he ran a finger across one of the keyboards and noted it hasn't been long enough to gather dust. "I'm not breaking in. You invited me and left me food." Alec flattened a palm on his chest. "Honey, you shouldn't have."

The rumbled chuckle by his ear sent heat rushing down to pool in his belly. 

_"I probably shouldn't. You've been critical of my fridge contents lately_."

"Hard to be critical when there's nothing in there." Alec sat on the edge of the computer desk. It felt weird to hear Logan without his usual _click-clack_ keyboard clatter. He smirked as he glanced around, his eyes happening to pass over the drawers, the one where Logan kept his bullets left slightly ajar and—

"Where are you?" Alec said sharply as soon as the empty drawer registered. He yanked it out further with two fingers to double-check.

The gun was missing too.

 _"What?"_ Startled, Logan stammered out his answer. _"Cape Haven."_

Alec leaned back to the edge of the desk. In his head, he pulled up the maps Manticore made them memorize. Cape Haven. Low population. Near water but not a major waterway. No strategic value whatsoever to the former fishing town that seen a couple of riots right after the Pulse.

"Cape Haven? What's in Cape Haven?" Alec eyed the drawer. "And why would you need a gun for it?"

_"I'm working and thought it might be better if I have my gun with me."_

Alec tamped down the urge to ask why the hell Logan didn't ask him along. "Why the gun?" he pressed but Logan was being a stubborn ass and said nothing. Then, Alec remembered the fleece blanket on Logan's pillow. He thought about the frost that had collected on the rigging he leaves up on the roof. "Did you pack anything else or were you going for the uber-minimalist post Pulse vacation?"

 _"I did pack lots of clean socks."_ Logan sounded bemused. _"And it's not a vacation. I'm—"_

"Working, got it." Alec scowled at nothing in general. Clean socks and a gun. Great. Alec narrowed his eyes. "Doing what? Planning on roaming around alleyways again past curfew ergo 'maybe I should pack a gun'?"

_"Cape Haven doesn't have alleys."_

Alec gnashed his teeth. "You—"

_"There's something I need to do."_

Alec pressed his mouth thin. "And it has to be in Cape Haven?"

The terse silence was answer enough. 

Heaving a sigh, Alec said wanly "Shooting porn on location, Heather?"

Logan gave him a strained laugh that was more relief than humor.

_"Because there's nothing more exotic than Cape Haven."_

"Hey, porn doesn't have to be exotic, just erotic!"

Logan scoffed. Alec imagined him peering at Alec over the top of his spectacles. 

Alec poked the bottom of the drawer. "Didn't know you were leaving town." He stiffened. "Not that you needed to tell me or anything." He glanced around the room. 

"A heads up would have been nice though. Gives me time to find a van to haul out all your stuff."

 _"Sorry."_ Weirdly enough, Logan did sound sorry. _"The phone call I was waiting for last time? It was for a Class 1 sector pass."_ Logan paused. _"How's everything?"_

Alec shrugged as he flitted another survey of the apartment. "Looks good. Despite your poor sense of security, no one broke into your place, and your food hasn't gone bad—"

 _"Actually,"_ Logan fumbled. _"I was talking about you."_

Alec's mouth snapped shut. "Oh." He straightened up. Now it was his turn to clear his throat. "Good. Been quiet. Business has been slow though." He laughed. It sounded strange in his ears. "People been locking their doors and windows so..."

 _"So..."_ Logan echoed. _"Uh...any headaches lately?"_

"Yea, border cops been hassling the tattoo parlors this week so I had to cancel my facial," quipped Alec. At the lengthy silence on the line, he sobered. "Nah. I got enough pills for a while." He scuffed his heel on the floor. He wondered why the reminder didn't piss him off this time. 

Alec strained his hearing; he thought maybe he could hear Logan fidgeting. He rubbed a hand to the back of his neck. 

"Ah...how long are you away on your porn shoot?" 

_"I don't know."_

"You don't know?" Alec repeated skeptically. Logan didn't look like he was a spontaneous kind of guy; just a guy with bad security habits.

Logan sounded distracted. Paper rustled. Teeny keystrokes chittered by Alec's ear. _"I didn't think I would get the sector pass. I was preparing to find other ways."_

"Other ways?" Alec parroted. "Sounds kinky."

Logan gave a weak laugh but at least the typing stopped. _"I was looking for someone here but he's not..."_ He sighed heavily. _"He wasn't the man I thought he was."_

Alec frowned at the dejected tone. "Not the right size?" he asked innocently. He grinned when Logan sputtered. "Hey, there are things to help with that and with the right angle..."

 _"I'm hanging up now,"_ Logan said firmly but there was an edge of laughter in his voice now. There was a pause, long enough Alec thought Logan did. 

_"Uh...are you going to be there later?"_

"Are you asking me to squat at your place?" Alec picked at his teeth as he eyed the kitchen from his perch. "I might eat all your food."

 _"Might as well."_ The shrug was audible. _"Keep an eye on the place for me. Make sure no one steals my things."_

Alec barked out a laugh. "You're asking _me_ to make sure no one takes your stuff?"

 _"Didn't you already call dibs?"_ Logan teased. Abruptly, he silenced.

Alec peered into the phone. "Hello?"

 _"I ah...got all that food in the fridge before I knew about the sector pass."_ Logan sounded hesitant. _"It's all going to go bad while I'm gone."_

Alec nodded. "Yeah, sure. Guess I could stick around." Might as well, business was sparse, and he didn't really want to go back to his alley anyway. His fan club could go screw themselves. Literally. A knot loosened on his lower back at the idea. 

"Actually, that does sound pretty good. Thanks." Alec's eyebrow arched at the silence. Was Logan having second thoughts? "So ah...maybe later?"

_"Huh?"_

"You know. Call me. Here? Since I'm squatting here, eating you out of house and home."

Logan's chuckle reminded Alec of far away thunder with the way the sound skimmed over his skin. Absently, Alec wondered how it would feel wrapped around his co—

_Whoa._

Alec shook his head violently and nearly dropped the phone.

_"Alec?"_

"Nothing," Alec managed. "Talk to you later?" 

_"Sure."_ Logan sounded a bit...stunned? Uncertain? _"I'll call later if...if you want."_

"Whatever." Alec brushed a hand down his jeans. He fidgeted; he suspected Logan was doing the same. The silence hung long, growing heavier by the second. Alec squared his shoulders.

"Hey."

_"What?"_

"If I find it, can I read your diary?"

There was a cute little snort. 

_"Good night, Alec."_

"Night," Alec snickered to the dial tone before he hung up. He was still grinning as he wandered back into the kitchen to make a sandwich.

Alec's smile faded when he checked behind the peanut butter. 

A tightly sealed container of roasted chicken sat in the back along with a second container of pork chops with beets. 

 

For a rich guy's place, it was pretty boring.

Alec slept in the guest room, boots on, his knife under the pillow. To his surprise, he woke up late, late enough the sun already retreated into a rare blue sky. He sat up on the bed, blinking blearily until he remembered why he wasn't sleeping on the floor.

The exercise room was distracting for a few hours. He did enough reps to get a good sweat going before taking a shower. And just for the hell of it, he went into Logan's shower.

Not surprisingly, the shower was equipped with a pull down bench, grab bars and fixtures for Logan to safely transfer over. But Alec could tell they were later additions; there was still a fixed shower head too high for Logan to reach and a soap dish screwed in at four feet high. The shower was wide, as big as the tub installed across from it; the bench hinges looked new, silver screws still shaped and untarnished despite the constant punishment of moisture.

Alec rubbed a thumb across the metal fittings: old and new in one space, back when Logan used the shower much more differently.

It bothered him. More than it should.

Alec grabbed a shower in the guest room instead.

Television held his interest...for about seven minutes, thirty-one seconds. He had more fun listening to Mrs. Moreno upstairs while he ate a peanut butter sandwich with jelly, _real_ grape jelly he found new and unopened in the fridge. 

Alec sat by an open window, basking under the warm beam of the sun. He chuckled as Mrs. Moreno displayed a surprisingly extensive derogatory vocabulary. She watched the Greek Jets versus the Korean Raiders as they fought for a slot in the Super Bowl in Belgrade. Guess Mrs. Moreno can't watch hockey all the time.

Peanut butter stuck to the roof of Alec's mouth, jelly sweet on his tongue. He sat on the carpet; legs crossed, head cocked towards the window as the half time show began with the Chinese People's Republic Anthem. 

Alec listened until his skin itched from being out in open view for too long. He reluctantly pulled away from the window as he wiped his mouth clean with his sleeve. He debated going out to see if the police were still playing diligent officers, maybe pick up some cash playing billiards, when the phone rang.

"Heather's House of Pleasure," Alec chirped as soon as he picked up the phone.

_"Funny."_

Alec grinned. "Good timing. I was about to head out."

_"You couldn't have hocked all my stuff already."_

"Nope, your lesbian orgy vases are safe for now. Not rainy day enough." Alec eyed the window. The sun hasn't set yet. He wondered if the streets were busy. 

"Just a tad bored." Alec shrugged. "Thought I hit the bars."

_"Thought you can't get drunk."_

"But others can," Alec quipped. His smile faded when he heard himself. "I mean...pool. A lot of drunk people play pool." He rubbed a hand over his neck. His eyes drifted to the carpet. Crap, he dropped a couple of crumbs.

"Uh, you play pool?" Alec said hurriedly as he collected the evidence of his breakfast, lunch and his in-between.

 _"Used to."_ Logan said quietly after a pause. _"Used to be pretty good."_

"Oh yeah?" Alec thought about Logan, the cue rolling gently to balance between knuckles, his fingers caressing the length of the cue, gliding up and down—

"We should play," Alec blurted out. He tugged at his jeans and squirmed. "You and me. I mean, in a bar. For money. Pool! Playing money for pool. There are a couple of good places we could go to. Uh... _Rigor_ , no, _Black Hol_ —actually, they threw me out of that one. Uh, _Diamon_ —wait, there's a he-she there, long story, ah... _Crash_? You ever been to _Crash_?"

The line went quiet.

Alec frowned. "Hello?"

 _"I've been there."_ Logan's voice was so quiet, Alec had to strain to hear.

"Yeah, been there once or twice. Guys there aren't sore losers like other bars. Beer's cheap. Probably the only place that'll still give you free peanuts." Alec remembered sitting there, nursing a beer, watching a group around his age (if his age was what he guessed it was), laughing it up, bikes spinning one wheeled on the bar counter. 

_"It's a good place."_

Alec wanted to take back about four point two minutes of the conversation because Logan suddenly sounded tired, the faint amusement in his tone all but vanished.

"So...how's work?" Alec said awkwardly. He dropped into the sofa. 

_"It's work."_

"For a writer, you're pretty deficient on your descriptions," Alec complained. He dropped his head back and studied the ceiling as he balanced the phone between his ear and shoulder. "Found a better guy?"

 _"Same guy."_ Logan sighed heavily. _"Just as helpful. I needed information from him. But he's not talking. Keeps saying I got the wrong guy."_

Alec frowned. "What kind of information?"

 _"Information."_ As if realizing how succinct it sounded, Logan added, _"But he isn't sharing."_

" _I_ know a few things." Alec made sure Logan could hear the leer in his voice. As expected, Logan choked out a chuckle.

_"Not that kind of information."_

Alec scoffed. "Your loss, Heather."

_"I'll survive."_

"Why don't you just take the guy out for a couple of beers, shoot some pool and loosen him up." Alec paused. Wait, _his_ idea of loosening up—

"Or grab a coffee somewhere and talk." Preferably from a few tables apart.

 _"Cape Haven isn't known for their coffee houses, but there is a local bar here,"_ Logan murmured almost to himself. _"At the very least the locals might have something interesting to say."_

The skin on the back of his hands prickled. "You and I both know you're not really doing porn there. What kind of _information_ you're looking for in Cape Haven?" When Logan didn't reply, Alec sat up. "Hey."

_"It's...I don't want you involved."_

"That didn't sound ominous at all," Alec said tightly. He set his jaw. "I could be there in five hours."

_"Not without a Class 1 sector pass."_

"The perimeter's not solid all around."

 _"Alec. Don't,"_ Logan said firmly. _"You haven't removed that tattoo yet. There's no way you can get past them. There's nothing you can do I haven't already done."_

"Look, off the seventh sector, their shifts have a three minute gap—"

 _"I don't want you here, all right?"_ Logan snapped.

Alec froze. 

_"Alec..."_

"No biggie," Alec said brightly. He loosened his white-knuckled grip he now realized dug into the armrest. Pale lines scarred the fabric. He heard Logan suck in his breath. "Tell me how it goes tomorrow."

_"Alec, I—"_

"Later." With a jab of a thumb, Alec ended the call. 

 

"Son of a bitch!" Alec yelped.

The cut on the corner of his mouth reopened after the first sting of juice touched it. His craving for juice gone, Alec set the glass down before he spilled it onto Logan's carpet. Of course, even if he did, it would serve the bastard right.

Alec dabbed his thumb at the tiny wound, now bleeding again because the Steelhead last night had reinforced his knuckles with steel plates.

Four against one was normally a bit of a pain, but punching out a guy who augmented his shins and bio-dyed his eyeballs bloodshot red was better than using those same fists on Logan's place. That would be immature.

So when one Steelhead this morning blocked the shortcut alley Alec took to avoid hoverdrones, he just quipped, "What kept you?"

Afterwards, with his head heavy, limping and a couple of thousand richer (turned out Steelheads did illegal chop shop surgeries on future Steelheads), Alec splurged on a chipped jug of fresh orange juice a little dirty-faced girl was trying to sell all morning. He deemed it safe after watching the kid gulped down two tall glasses of that juice herself. He paid her, plus a hundred extra because she had the balls (figuratively) to sell the juice around the corner where two johns were panting and groaning. It was a buzzkill; special effects that echoed over to his normal place of business, so Alec walked past his spot. He ignored the one guy with the beer gut and fancy suit standing furtively there with a thick roll of money. 

Dusk painted the sky from a murky gray to a blood red streaked horizon that made Alec flinch. As he licked his wounds, he spent the rest of the evening making a list of what Alec could hock. Everything but what was in Logan's bedroom. Alec hasn't stepped foot back in there since day one of his laughable house sitting gig. There was nothing in there anyway. Nothing but a big empty bed and fancy furniture and a bathroom the size of a squatter's whole apartment. Nothing he could just carry out.

By the time Alec tallied up everything (the mother lode was the computer area), the numbers were impressive. He lay across the couch, feet on the armrest, ankles crossed as he thumbed through pages of handwritten notes with an arched eyebrow. There was a surprising amount of artwork hanging on the hallways. He idly sketched out the layout where everything was, the wiring, the blind spots, best entries, exits. 

It would serve Logan right if Alec stripped the place down to its studs, maybe leave him his stupid files and his stupid flatscreen and his stupid...his stupid everything.

Okay, so maybe Alec won't rip the guy off. Not yet anyway. But he should; let Logan Cale return from stupid Cape Haven to an empty apartment.

It was only because his stomach grumbled for the third time, Alec looked up. His eyes snapped towards the phone. He shot up to his feet; his list absently jammed between the cushions as he checked out the windows. Sure enough, it was nightfall. Seattle sparkled in sparse clusters of light.

Alec stared hard at the dark sky. His jaw set and he about-faced towards the kitchen. He was hungry and hell, there was a stash of free food, after all. 

The chicken was good even cold. Alec grabbed a jug of the goat's milk because there was a throbbing in the back of his head that wouldn't go away. He ate by the kitchen counter, drank leaning on the dining table. He crunched on a juicy pear while he balanced on the couch's arm rest on the balls of his feet.

Alec caught himself glaring at the phone twice, but he stopped short from picking it up to check if it was working. Of course, it was working. Rich people's phone lines weren't as crappy as the slimy, grime coated payphones that dotted the streets. But he made out the phone line easily in the dim lighting and tracked it all the way to its modular on the wall. Just to confirm. The line was intact. It was also 0100 hours. Past curfew. Bedtime for most, idiotic secretive porn writers included.

Rocking precariously on the armrest, Alec considered the phone as he gnawed the pear down to its core, stopping only when the bitterness of its fibrous center registered against his teeth. He chewed absently on his thumbnail as he stared at the phone. His brow twitched. His toes flexed.

Alec didn't realize he's made a decision until he was shrugging into his jacket. By the time he reached the door, the schematics of what he needed were already tagged and noted in his head.

Alec gave the apartment one last check before slipping out. 

 

The call was picked up after the fourth ring.

_"...Hello?"_

The tired rasp rumbling in Alec's ear uncoiled a taut wire around his chest. He found himself slumping into the couch, his exposed toes outstretched and soaking in the morning sun's warmth. He tilted his head back, resting it on the back of the couch. Looks like the tryptophan finally kicked in this morning. The throbbing was gone; he felt lightheaded, almost drunk (if he was to guess what inebriation feels like).

_"Alec?"_

Alec started, realizing he hasn't said anything, just breathed on the phone like one of those creepy prank callers. He cleared his throat.

"Hey."

There was a pause but then Logan spoke again, voice pitched slightly higher.

_"How did you get this number?"_

Alec scoffed. "I have my ways." He stared ruefully at his empty boots under the window. Stupid barbed wire at the station wrecked the leather. At the silence, he offered a chuckle. 

"You know unregistered numbers are just a myth." 

_"Oh...Why?"_

"Hell, even if you live like a hermit, there was still a surprising number of callers to back trace and cross refer—"

_"No. I meant why did you get my number?"_

Alec studied his feet. "It's not like I had anything better to do. You have a boring apartment. You don't even have any naked magazines."

_"So I guess you didn't find my diary?"_

Alec smirked. "Did you write about me in it? You draw any naked pictures?"

The answering laugh sounded strained. 

Alec rubbed a hand up and down his thigh. "Look, I know you don't want company and you can be badass all by yourself. I'm not trying to cut in on whatever action you got going on but—"

_"I'm sorry."_

Alec's mouth dropped open. "Huh?"

A sigh was barely audible in his ear. 

_"The other day...I could have said it better. Look, it's just too risky for you to try to leave without a pass. I had found out the reason why there's been so much police activity lately. They received orders to tighten the sectors. Lydecker's in town."  
_

His legs twitched. Alec pulled them in and crossed them. 

"Fuck," Alec managed.

 _"Yeah,_ " Logan agreed soberly. _"Just sit tight."_ He hesitated. _"I am sorry about before."_

"S'okay," Alec mumbled. His throat worked. His head spun with the possible scenarios of what could have happened when he was out before to get Logan's number last night. He mentally backtracked his steps. No. Nothing could be traced back to him.

_"Alec?"_

Alec took a deep breath. His knee began jittering. "I'm here."

" _Whatever he's looking for doesn't sound like it has anything to do with you. I heard he'll be moving on soon but don't take any chances. Stay put until he leaves."_

"Sure. Okay." Alec finger combed his hair. It felt like he needed another shower; his skin suddenly felt tacky. "When are you coming back?" Immediately, Alec wished he could take it back. "Uh, because we're running out of food."

_"Already?"_

Alec could feel his face heating up. "Yeah. Well..."

Logan sighed. " _I'm fine here."_

"Uh huh." Alec exhaled, kicked the carpet and thumped the couch cushion. "I wasn't worried or anything." He lowered his voice to a whine. "You sure you don't want company though? I'm bored."

_"There's my television."_

"Nothing's on."

_"You could use the exercise room."_

"Already did."

_"Use the kitchen—"_

" _Seriously_?"

Logan sighed, but the smile was audible. _"Or you can keep my number and call me when you're bored again."_

Alec almost dropped the phone. "Really?"

_"Not really."_

"You're such a bad host," Alec complained.

 _"How can I be a host over the phone?"_ Logan countered, amused.

"Wait, I know!" Alec wiggled deeper into the couch. "I know the perfect thing!"

 _"What?"_ Logan asked warily.

"Phone sex!" Alec said gleefully.

Logan managed to laugh and sound horrified at the same time. _"What? No!"_

"Come on," wheedled Alec. "Just a little dirty talk. You're a writer; you got the vocabulary. Don't you know any naughty adjectives?"

Logan choked.

"I'm ready to go here! Got my hand down my—"

_"Alec!"_

It was too much; Logan's voice cracked comically in his freak out. So much for Heather and his porn. Alec cackled.

"Relax. Yeesh. I'm not going to stain your pristine digs."

 _"Thank you,"_ sighed Logan.

"I'll jerk off in the shower. This phone is waterproof, right?"

_"I'm hanging up, Alec."_

"You're no fun," Alec grumbled.

_"Well, I'm not having fun."_

Alec sobered. "So leave."

 _"It's not that simple."_ Logan exhaled, the humor gone. _"I need this man's help but he's afraid. He's not talking."_

"About what?" Alec made a face at the silence. "Look, I get it. You want to keep whatever it is to yourself. Big whoop. I'm just saying: whatever this guy's afraid of, maybe you can use that. See why he's afraid, maybe get your answers from that or play the sympathy card."

 _"Worth a shot,"_ Logan murmured.

"Come on, blink those baby greens at him and I'm pretty sure he'll spill."

Logan scoffed. 

_"My baby greens?"_

Alec smirked against the receiver. "Whatever. I'm pretty sure you can convince him somehow." 

_"Sure. I'll channel those apparent baby greens of mine."_ Logan chuckled. _"Thanks."_

"See?" Alec grinned. "Aren't you glad I called?"

 _"To sexually harass me? No. The other stuff?"_ Logan's voice warmed; it was a pleasant thrum in Alec's ear. _"Yes. Thanks."_

"Great. What are pals for?" Alec cleared his throat. "I'm still bored, you know."

_"There are some books in my bedroom you're welcome to read."_

Alec perked up. "Are they dirty?"

_"No."_

"Then what's the point of wasting ink and paper?" Alec sighed loudly. "Where the hell did you hid your porn, Heather?"

 _"I took it with me,"_ Logan said wryly.

"I knew it!" Alec grinned. "Guess I'll have to make my own porn then."

_"Wait. What do you mean? Alec, what—"_

"Night!" Alec singsonged over Logan's sputtering. He hung up on the tinny _"Alec!"_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for "Haven"

_The whir of the tool came closer and closer. He couldn't move; the straps over his chest and forehead forced him to watch the small circular saw's teeth blur. He saw her, that bitch of a doctor, looking down at him with a fond smile, like was so fucking proud of the X-494 bound and gagged on the gurney._

_"Good boy," she murmured. A blue latex gloved hand patted him on the shoulder. She glanced past him. "We're ready."_

_"Good," Lydecker rasped unemotionally, "let's not waste any more time."_

_The woman in the scrubs stopped smiling. She nodded, gazed down at him. Her brown eyes looked sad, regretful as she moved the saw towards his right femur..._

Alec woke up besides the bed.

Chest heaving, his heart hammering so hard, his ribs ached, Alec found himself crouched on the floor by the bed. He stared down at his hands. His fingers had dug bloody half-moon gouges into his palms.

"Shit," Alec wheezed. He wiped his face dry with a corner of a blanket crumpled by his feet. It didn't seem to help; his skin felt gross, sticky and clammy at the same time. He wanted to hurl. 

Somewhere, out there, Lydecker was prowling Seattle, looking for clues with his angry beady eyes. Alec still remembered him frowning down at his stopwatch as the doctors' saws ate into bone.

All in the name of Manticore. Hip hip fricking hurray.

Alec stood because squishing himself into the corner the bed and the nightstand made was not his idea of fun and it was strategically a shitty position to be caught in. His knees wobbled and the rest of the chicken wanted to come up. He tasted the sourness on the back of his throat. 

Even though it was dark, it was easy for Alec to stagger into the guest bathroom without turning on a light. He didn't lose his dinner, which was good because he hated waste. He stayed stooped over the toilet, gagging.

_Lydecker's in town. Lydecker's in town. Lydeck—_

Those carrots tasted _way_ better going down than up.

Alec rinsed out his mouth. He brushed his teeth. Twice. But when he turned back to the bed, he...he just couldn't. He headed out to the couch and threw himself on top of it.

Minutes later though, Alec bolted up, choking on what he swore was chlorine-tasting water. He swallowed convulsively to remind himself he didn't need to hold his breath. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. The nasty fuzzy taste still lingered. His feet vibrated even when he shoved them back into his boots because in the back of his mind, there was that damn chant again: _Lydecker's in town, Lydecker's in—_

With a choked sound, Alec kicked a wall. A few times. Punched it a few times, hard enough Logan's bedroom door opened.

Alec froze.

His breathing harsh in his ears, Alec stood in the dark, staring at the door now opened a crack. His fists throbbed. His stomach twisted.

Swallowing, Alec ventured a step. And another. He found himself at the foot of the bed. It was a big bed. He absently noted the corners weren't tucked in tight enough. The bed had a ridiculous amount of layers on top: a bed sheet, a mattress pad, a thick coverlet. It was a bed. All it really needed was a blanket, maybe a pillow because they're useful for hiding stuff in them. No one can take a wallet or gun out from under a head—well, _Alec_ could, but that was beside the point. There was all this stuff on the bed, including the soft navy fleece that normally kept Logan warm at nights and the idiot didn't take it with him and he was probably going to get frostbite on his lower extremities and it would serve him right and—

The faint scent of coffee and almond filled Alec's nostrils when he pressed his face into the fleece. He groaned, his body sinking into the bed. His spine melted into the almost plush surface. Maybe there was something to all these ridiculous layers after all. 

Alec reminded himself this was a bad idea. Then he yawned, burrowed deeper into the folds of the fleece and told himself to shut the hell up and went to sleep. 

 

 _"Hello?"_ Logan answered distractedly. He sounded exhausted.

Alec was gnawing on a pork chop bone when Logan picked up the call. "Good morning, Heather. Day four. Still bored."

_"...Alec?"_

"No, it's Mrs. Moreno; who else do you think this is?" Alec wiped his mouth with a sleeve. Logan made a pretty good pork chop, even cold. He reached for one more in the pan. "This is your daily prank call. I'm here to breathe heavily in your ear."

 _"Sounds more like you're chewing in my ear_ ," Logan remarked.

"Pork chop," Alec mumbled as he gnawed.

_"For breakfast?"_

"I'm a _growing_ boy," Alec stressed. The leer came through because Logan sputtered.

Snickering, Alec smacked his lips. "Still needs a name."

_"I thought we settled on pork chops with beets?"_

"Hey, _you_ settled on that. I thought it should be something fancy, rich folk sounding."

Logan chuckled faintly.

Alec frowned. "You sound perky. Not."

_"Long night."_

"Ooh, do share." Alec's stomach, however, knotted.

Logan sighed.

"Your guy still not talking, huh?"

 _"Not enough. He's just..._ " Logan sighed. " _I thought he would do the right thing._ "

Alec shook his head. "Hey, these days? The only right thing left to do is stay alive."

_"I don't believe that."_

Of course Logan didn't. He didn't look like the type. Alec frowned into the phone. 

"Doesn't matter if you believe it or not. Everybody else does."

_"Can't be everybody. There are still those who want to do the right thing."_

"Geez, do you believe in Santa Claus too?" Alec groused.

Logan exhaled.

"Seriously, if your time's being wasted, go. The guy sounds like a lost cause."

_"I thought I could talk to him, convince him but guess he is a lost cause."_

Alec chewed his lower lip.

"Sorry," Alec offered hesitantly. "That sucks, to drive all that way for nothing."

" _Not necessarily nothing. Heard something interesting worth checking out. Someone else might know something though. Someone I didn't expect."_

Logan's fortune cookie conversations were starting to grate. Alec snorted as he tore into a pork chop a lot harder than necessary. The bone knocked into the phone.

_"Alec?"_

Alec's jaw clenched. "We're still sticking with this need-to-know shit?" he said evenly.

_"Alec—"_

The bone rattled when Alec dropped it into the garbage bin. "No. I get it. Lydecker. Fine." His hand jerked around in the air. "I'm staying put. I don't need the hassle anyway." He dropped into the couch and glowered at his boots by the window. 

"I'm just saying; you don't sound like things are going your way anyway. Just cut your losses and leave. Forget about the other thing, whatever it is."

_"I can't ignore this."_

Whatever _this_ was. Alec was tempted to hang up but rolled his eyes instead. "Uh huh."

_"Something has to be done."_

"Uh huh."

Logan's exhale was tinny in his ear. _"Look, I should be back soon."_

"Whatever. No rush."

_"Just don't go wandering out. Okay? Stop running into Steelheads."_

"You checking up on me? Kind of flattering in a creepy sort of way."

_"Hearing about unconscious Steelheads in alleys was a big clue. Just...don't go out, all right?"_

Alec grunted. His upper lip curled up. He was about to fire back when Logan cleared his throat.

_"Alec. Please."_

Alec couldn't think of anything to say. He nodded and mumbled, "Yeah. Sure." He scrubbed a hand over his mouth. He recovered and weakly added, "But if I find your diary, I'm reading it."

 _"Sure,"_ Logan agreed easily. _"But I'm telling you right now: it's pretty boring."_

"Want me to draw naughty pictures in it?"

_"I'm hanging up now."_

Alec grinned into the phone. "Party pooper." 

 

"You bitch."

The black rook was surrounded by pawns. Again.

Alec couldn't find Logan's diary but he found a dusty chess set tucked in the back of the closet. He also found Logan's ratty gray sweats which he arranged flat on the couch. He sat across them, the coffee table between them and the rest of the pork chops for lunch. He played black. It felt fitting Logan's sweats played white.

However...

"You were my favorite." Alec glowered at the worn top draped on the couch. "You totally were. I can't believe you pulled another Chern maneuver on me."

It was a nice chess set. Alec wondered who Logan used to play with and why the set was buried under a mound of blankets. He cradled the newly captured white knight and imagined strong-boned tapered fingers rubbing the polished mahogany pieces as Logan contemplated his next move. Alec held the knight, rubbing it absently across his lower lip for the rest of the game. 

So far it was Logan's Clothes five and Awesome Alec four. Alec contemplated his next move since Logan's sweats pulled a Berbus Gambit two moves back and got Alec at check. He tested three possible moves in his head but they all led to mate.

His hand blindly reached for the phone he kept in his lap before the first ring finished.

"I can't believe you're winning," Alec complained as soon as he has the receiver against his ear. 

_"I'm sorry?"_

Alec smirked. "Never mind." He wiggled his fingers over the lone black pawn for a possible sacrifice move. "It's only been a few hours, snookums. Miss me already?"

_"Just wanted to update you."_

Alec's hand stilled over the pawn he was debating. "What is it?" He straightened. 

_"That new thing? I'm...things should be done here soon. Maybe by tonight."_ A _click_ and a rattle could be heard on Logan's side.

Alec stiffened. It was the sound of a bullet sliding into the barrel of a shotgun. 

"What the hell are you doing with a shotgun?" Alec demanded, game forgotten.

_"How could you tell—"_

"Shot pellets and double barrels resonate differently from a Glock. And I asked you a question." Alec eyed his boots and backpack by the window. Hell, with Lydecker sniffing around. Maybe staying in Seattle wasn't strategically smart anyway. 

_"Thought some extra firepower was in order. I might have visitors."_

Alec gritted his teeth. Logan made it sound like he was talking about the weather. "And that would be because...?"

When Logan said nothing, Alec snagged his boots. He jerked socks up his feet.

_"Alec. Don't."_

Foot halfway in one boot, Alec stilled. "What? I'm not doing anything."

Logan scoffed. _"You're breathing pretty heavy into the phone."_

"Whatever turns you on."

_"Alec. Look, I appreciate you wanting to come to my rescue and save the day but—"_

"That's not what it is," Alec interrupted. The resigned tone made him want to hit something; preferably whomever that shotgun was for. "Look. I think someone should be there but not because I think you need rescuing. Don't you want some backup?"

_"Backup?"_

Alec continued putting on his boots. "Don't think it's free either. I'm charging your cute ass off. I'm not cheap, you know, no matter what some might say." 

The phone was quiet even of the low clinking sound of bullets and of Logan's exhales. Alec waited but when Logan didn't reply, he stopped what he was doing.

"Backup, that's all."

_"Thanks. But Lydecker is out there."_

_The face with the gun. The cool eyes staring down at him from outside the pool._

Alec swallowed. Then he set his jaw. "I don't care."

_"You should."_

"Hell, that bastard hasn't caught a whiff of me for how many years? He's been obsessing over his lab rats the whole time, but he can't find his way out of a box."

_"He almost caught my friend."_

"He didn't though."

 _"But he nearly did."_ Logan's voice wavered. _"He almost did."_

"You said your friend went to Canada."

_"Barely."_

"Look, I know he's out there. It's fine. I know now. Thanks for the heads up. But I don't care."

_"I do."_

Alec's retort stuck in his throat. He felt a flush creeping up the back of his neck. 

"Oh," Alec stumbled. He picked at the hole in his jeans. "Cool. Uh...thanks."

 _"Uh...you're welcome."_ Logan resumed loading his shotgun. _"It's fine. I have help here."_

It was a bucket of cold water Alec wasn't expecting. His mouth contorted to a smile. "That's great." So Logan really didn't need him there. He toed off his boot. "I'll just continue squatting here then." He cleared his throat. 

"Don't be surprised if you're missing a couple of things when you get back."

Logan made a sound like he was trying not to laugh. 

_"Thanks for not wanting to come to my rescue."_

"Never thought you needed it." Alec leaned into the phone. His face felt tight. He settled back into his spot in front of the couch but his limbs still vibrated, demanding he move. Not that there wasn't any point, was there?

The call ended with what Alec thought was polite conversation; the kind where people sit around, drinking tea with their pinkies in the air, talking about nothing important for the sole purpose to fill the silence. He held the phone in his hand, long after the call ended. The boots behind him felt like an accusation. 

 

All afternoon afterwards, the vague memory of Lydecker holding a stopwatch, its ticking the sound of a gun cocking against the back of his head kept Alec jittery. He fuzzily remembered patrolling the perimeter: living room to kitchen to foyer, even up to the skylight a few times. He remembered sleeping on the couch until the sensation of being underwater (and X-128 and X-215 voluntarily drowning next to him) repeated too many times.

The 'Things to Steal from Logan' list he made was reviewed, re-priced and re-evaluated. The amount he would have gotten with the devalued US dollar was nowhere as impressive as when he converted the total into Euros. When he later converted the sum into Yao, it was impressive enough he considered Logan's boring ass painting of some bridge over some equally boring ass river hanging in the guest room with renewed interest.

As the day progressed, Alec made three contingency plans on what to do should Lydecker find him. (As if.) There were places he could hole out and things he could do to change his appearance although he loathed to mess with perfection.

Alec avoided planning around the possibility of leaving Seattle altogether. He's too used to this shitty dump and invested too much time bilking it. The city has too many resources to leave behind. Alec hated waste.

It was in-between contemplating dyeing his hair black and squatting in the odd alcove in a forgotten network of sewers, Alec fell asleep.

When Alec woke up, he smacked his lips together. The gumminess in his mouth informed him it was a long nap. He had vague memories of a dream that involved Logan, the carpet and the heat of skin under his mouth. It was a hell of a lot better than his usual nightly feature. Lydecker was such a turn off.

Alec hummed at the faint smell of coffee and oddly enough, almonds that tickled his nose. He stretched, rolling his hips as he did, relishing on the sensation of not having to snap awake, his spine straightening out the muscles on his lower back until he heard a very satisfying series of _pops._

He blinked, rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and focused.

He was on Logan's bed again.

Springing off the bed, Alec landed on the balls of his feet. He stared at the rumpled king's size mattress from the doorway. Numbly, he glanced down at his crotch.

"Oh, you're a lot of help," Alec snapped at the tenting in his jeans, his erection more of a salute. He ducked into the shower to jerk off.

In the guest room's shower though; Alec was horny, not suicidal.

Logan's soap and shampoo was drenched in the heady scent of almond butter but there were no options to other smelly frou-frou soaps. Alec stood under the spray (shit, even Manticore's disciplinary hoses didn't have this kind of water pressure), idly running his thumbs through the bar of soap, coaxing thick suds. He thought of the soap, creamy yet slick skimming down Logan's torso, suds trickling down his ass and between his cheeks. Alec's mouth watered as he thought about traces of soapy water, milky white, skimming down over that tight entrance like cum, like...

Alec swallowed a mouthful of spray when he groaned out loud. 

The tiled wall felt cool against Alec's forehead as he leaned forward. He rubbed suds down his chest. Unbidden, his thumbs brushed over his nipples. His nails traced the hardening nubs, pebbling under aggressive pinches.

The shower stall was misty with the nutty scent of Logan's soap. Alec's cock twitched under his own touch. He shouldn't, god damn, he knew he shouldn't, but he thought about those capable fingers tracing the shape of his pecs, green eyes dark and intent as he drew near, lining up his cock to Alec's.

His hand drifted to his cock flushed against his stomach now. It was hot and thick in his grip when he curled a trembling hand around the length. A shock rippled on contact, shivering up to the base of his cock. He tightened his fist. He groaned. No. Tighter. Logan would be tighter. 

Suds seeped through Alec's fingers. Logan's scent surrounded him. Logan, slick and tight around his cock as Alec thrust in and out. Logan, crying out hoarsely as each relentless stroke pulled him closer and closer to a blinding edge.

Alec bit his lower lip. He tasted blood. His hand automatically clenched and his hips snapped forward as he fucked his own fist with enough force, he needed to brace an elbow on the shower wall before he slammed face first into it.

The shower glided over Alec's overheated skin, the soap trickled into the crack of his ass, his balls, between his toes. The steam perfumed with almond and shit, his dick felt like it was too swollen, too big for Logan but he can't stop, he can't, slamming into him over and over until—

White exploded behind his eyes and Alec came messily into his fist. He whimpered as he finished himself off with a few rough pulls. Weak kneed, Alec pressed his flushed face to the shower wall. He panted.

The shower turned cold, a cooling and rousing relief on his skin. Alec clenched his buttocks. He splayed his hands over the tiles. Took a deep breath. He smelled Logan's soap swirling around him.

Alec came once more. He didn't have to touch himself this time.

So much for avoiding the master bath.

The shower was icy on his skin now. Alec looked around the shower stall. Suddenly, jerking off in the shower felt like a bad idea. 

 

The sun was starting its descent by the time Alec shakily stepped out of the shower. The sun's dying light streamed through the windows, promising a clear night. He crossed the living room as he scrubbed his short hair dry with the thickest towel he's ever felt. He wondered if Heather would notice a couple of towels missing.

Alec avoided looking at the phone and padded into the kitchen for an early dinner. It took a second to adjust to the fact there was a choice for dinner: apples, bread, hell, there were a couple of eggs in there, too. 

It was weird. It was like Alec was watching himself as he debated what he was hungry for instead of which looked less past its expiration date. Manticore brewed their super soldiers with cast iron stomachs. 

Still, the idea Alec ran more of a the risk of food poisoning from his cooking rather than from suspicious moldy spots left him grinning like an idiot. He made an egg sandwich and washed it down with goat's milk. It still tasted nasty, but it was growing on him.

As Alec ate, he periodically glanced across the living room. If he happened to gaze upon the phone, it was only because it sat smacked center of the cabinet up against the wall by the flat screen. He hastily dropped his eyes to clean the plate of yolk with a bit of crust, scrubbing until the bread crumbled and stuck to his fingers. 

Alec scowled. He stuck a finger in his mouth to lick the remains of his meal. He veered a wide circle away from the phone, towards the windows instead. He surveyed the cityscape. 

It felt weird to see the streets from up here. Alec's usual view was the rotting clap boards of the newest condemned building he was in. The buildings unfurled out beyond the window appeared clean, well kept, window panes glinting with fading daylight. He could imagine what Seattle must have looked like pre-Pulse. They stood high, almost proud and sparkled like polished glass and Alec bet they didn't smell and their money was counted out in crisp stacks of bills.

Alec grunted. Unable to help himself, his eyes dragged back to the phone before he snapped forward to the window again. 

Seattle looked like it was going to enjoy a rare, beautiful night.

It felt like he was being mocked. 

 

The jittery thrum underneath his skin began again soon after dinner.

Exercise knocked the sensation out for a good hour. Then, Alec found a couple of paperback books tucked in random nooks and crannies and thought, _what the hell_. 

_Dante's Inferno_ in its original translation lost its novelty halfway through because reading it in Italian reminded Alec why the language was hammered into him in the first place; an Italian geneticist suddenly struck with a dumb case of morals left the Manticore project. He was sent in to do the exit interview. You didn't quit Manticore. Manticore quits you.

 _Wizard of Oz_ was depressing because that Dorothy chick upped and left her platoon of tin, straw and feline. Conrad was a dark and twisted bastard. And what the _hell_ was wrong with Heathcliff?

The books piled up on top of the dining table; an anemic yellowing, dog-eared tower next to the broad pillars of files. Alec stared at the folders, bemused at the quaint system of handwritten notes, colored flags and documents redacted by old fashioned Sharpies.

Alec's foot tapped against a table leg as he chewed on his lower lip. His gaze kept sliding back to the phone. He tore his gaze away. His eyes landed back on the folders. He wondered if any of these sent Logan to Cape Haven.

If they were so top secret, Alec reasoned as he brushed fingers along the curled, worn edges, Logan could have put them away.

Alec's hand reached out for a file. 

 

The first stack Alec picked to nose through turned out to be random files of dirt bags, notes scribbled on the margins about what he or she may or may not have done. He poked, bored, at some of the photos and mused what Logan could be writing about. Some were police reports, old as dirt, some were interestingly enough, others were handwritten in code.

Alec tapped the edges of photos of goateed men and some with faces even a mother wouldn't love. He was tempted to decipher the encoded ones. Decryption was drilled in to be a skill as natural as breathing. But Alec couldn't bring up the energy to bother, unused to this targetless information mining. He wasn't infiltrating anything, just bored, bored, bor—Why wasn't that phone ringing?

The third stack Alec nosed through turned out to be an archive of Logan's old blogs, printed out in hard copy, references, notes and post notes no longer sticky stapled to the back side of the covers.

Alec never saw some of the articles when he first ran a background check on Logan. Some of his articles were purged off the Internet. Logan's neat handwriting inside some of the printouts questioned whether the blogs or articles were hacked and shut down by the insulted parties. Judging by the sample of the surviving articles and their scathing words, Alec thought it was a strong possibility. He smirked as he quickly read them, his fingers lingering at some choice sections where Logan had commented on his own stuff. Logan turned out to be his own worst critic.

The smile faded when Alec found an article about the shooting.

It was a clipping from a Seattle newspaper that was bought out. It couldn't sell news anymore nor the propaganda the government had it pitched with its desperate "I'm okay, you're okay" spin on their collapsed economy. The tiny article was a year ago, give or take. It talked about a shooting that occurred one hazy morning, in an intersection that was fortunately empty of traffic. 

It called the shooting an 'incident'.

The 'incident' was described as random violence; possibly a robbery gone bad. Two unmarked SUVs bottle necked a silver sedan just after morning rush hour. Car was shot to hell. Unknown assailants. Unknown kidnapped victim. Two dead former Marines. One critically injured victim, name undisclosed to protect the victim clinging to life at an undisclosed location. Two bystanders were killed. No witnesses (yeah, right). The police (that was laughable) were investigating.

Despite the grainy screen capture from the hoverdrone, the sketchy descriptions, the lack of victims' names and the absence of handwritten notes on the margins, Alec _knew_.

A lump in his throat, Alec gingerly touched the photo with a finger. It pulled away smudged with ink and somehow, the lump in his throat expanded. He noted the date on the newspaper. He memorized the scant details. He set the folder down, back where he found it, buried at the bottom of a stack of Logan's accomplishments.

 _Lydecker's out there. Lydecker's out there_.

The reminder thumped in his head like a drum beat, but Alec ignored it as he shoved his arms into his jacket sleeves and headed for the door. He glanced back once at the phone before he left. 

 

Police stations were a joke.

It was morning again by the time Alec returned. He curled and uncurled a hand around the flash stick while he slipped back into the living room through the window. He detached himself from his rigging in one smooth move as he landed neatly, quietly on his feet. 

The video Alec needed wasn't in the archives as he first thought; not that it made it any harder to slip into their central station. It was simply a matter of hacking into the Evidence Lockup's inventory files. There was an unsurprising amount of drugs, money and weapons that went missing in transit. 

The file was finally tracked down but was lost (or relocated) to a bunch of servers deemed outdated, back-uped and slated for destruction.

Only the money ran out (again) and the decommissioned servers were stripped of anything that can be sold by for a personal bonus. The picked carcasses and their hard drives were left in a towel bin, covered with used body bags and stowed in a room that once housed their IA department. 

Alec felt weird about using Logan's computers so he wired up the flat screen instead to take the antiquated drive. He hacked the screen's factory firmware, created an auxiliary channel off its wifi protocols and accessed the small file.

The screen flickered once then twice. Alec thought the file was too damaged but then the black screen flickered into pixilated muted grays and blues of a hoverdrove's surveillance camera. 

The drone was too high to catch dialogue, but the screech of cars braking too fast, the sharp tack sounds of gunfire and the screaming of pedestrians were picked up faintly. Alec stared at the screen, throat tightening as he saw a large man jerk to his death despite his Kevlar. His ward, a middle aged brunette, ran after a beat of terrified hesitation. The driver shouted something into the car, lost in the barrage. He fired at their attackers before he too, fell.

Then the passenger door opened.

There was Logan, upright, vested with the same useless Kevlar, his body curled around a little girl. Distantly, Alec categorized her age, analyzed her body and how she struggled instead of cooperated and deemed her as a risk. He could see her, arms flailing for the woman who fled without her sentry. He could see Logan, his eyes wide and determined, flickering constantly back to his fallen comrade. There was no one else. Just him. And the girl.

Logan was left with a civilian with no redeeming skills to cover his six.

 _Let go of the girl_ , Alec thought. It was clear from where he stood rooted to the carpet that the ambush was for the child. The woman was ignored. No one gave chase and refocused on the pair of survivors inside the sedan.

Why wasn't anyone doing anything? Alec wanted to snarl at the hoverdrone impassively filming one of the worst ops he'd ever witnessed. The other should have taken the girl, draw the line of fire away from the car. It was a higher rate of survival, but instead, Logan was wrapped around the child, wearing a vest already proven inadequate, trapped inside the kill box.

The door kicked open wider and with a few volleying shots, Logan bolted.

_Don't get out of the car!_

It almost sounded like Alec spoke out loud. He flinched but his mouth was clenched so tight, only a thin hiss escaped when sure enough, Logan jerked, dropped into the asphalt and stopped moving. One of the gunman approached, military precision in his steps, rifle out to nudge Logan onto his bleeding back. The child huddled against Logan. She didn't even try to run. There was only a brief flailing of thin arms as she was pried out of Logan's hold with a simple yank. 

Logan stirred, arms feebly moving as if subconsciously realizing the loss. The gunman stood over him, muzzle to the head, aimed, readied...

And the video was shot out by the other.

" ** _Fuck_**!"

The word exploded out of him with enough force, Alec staggered back a step. He returned to himself, breathing hard, knees locked and feeling like he was one exhale away from losing his shit.

"He's okay," Alec snapped because hell, his spine vibrated, his legs quivered and he clenched hard to keep from moving. "Stand down. _Stand down_ , damn it." 

Of course Logan was okay. That was an old video. Alec's seen Logan in full living color. It didn't happen. The gunman never delivered the killing shot. _He's fine. He's fine, damn it, get it together X-494._

Alec found himself rewinding the video, watching it again. And again. He memorized faces, details, calculated trajectories like a good little X-494. When he found himself automatically analyzing it to the demand of Lydecker in his head, Alec turned the video off. He restrained from doing anything to the screen. Because that would be stupid. It already happened. A response team would be pointless now. A play-by-play of what-not-to-do would be moot. Data analysis would be a waste of time. Facial recognition would be pointl—

Why did nobody help him?

Before Alec could stop himself, before he stopped to consider the rage choking him was redundant, he kicked the couch. It tilted back and crashed, landing on its back, pathetically prone with its four pegged legs up in the air. 

"Screw this," Alec bit out. He snagged his boots, his head reeling as he mapped out the best route to Cape Haven. He'll need wheels, maybe a car, preferably with gas—

He nearly ripped the phone out of the wall when it rang.

Alec took a breath as deep as he could to keep his voice level. Then he realized no one spoke the time it took before he could finally offer a steady "Hey."

There was no response at first. A beat went by and Alec cleared his throat before a quiet " _Hey._ " replied.

The couch righted easily with a careful nudge from his foot. Alec grimaced at the _thud_ the couch made when it landed feet down. But there was no comment on the line.

"So how's Cape Haven? Got what you needed? Do a little sightseeing?" Alec tried as he eased onto the couch. "You do any fishing? It's a fishing village, right? Caught anything?"

_"Actually, I did."_

Alec knitted his brow. "You don't sound too happy about it."

_"Catch of the day wasn't what I expected."_

"Maybe you should have stuck with porn, Heather."

The laugh in the phone didn't sound like Logan found him funny at all. _"Maybe."_

Cheek flushed to the phone, Alec leaned forward in his seat. He turned a shoulder, away from the screen even though the video has long since played itself out. 

"Thinking of coming back anytime soon?" Alec said casually. "I promise I didn't sell off all your stuff. I left you a toothbrush." He sagged into the couch, crossed his legs at the ankles and reminded himself not squeeze the handset closer to his face. It wasn't like he was having trouble hearing him.

 _"Actually...I already left."_ A beat later, Logan added, _"I'm about five minutes away."_

Unbidden, a grin stretched across Alec's face and this time, it felt easier to sink deeper into the cushions. "Aw, snookums, baby, you should have told me you were coming home. I would have made you dinner!"

_"Oh. I could pick up something on the way. There's a few places open at this hour—what time is it?"_

Alec's smile faded at Logan's voice dropping to a mutter. He slid forward to the edge of his seat. "Hey."

 _"I could pick up Chinese,"_ Logan went on, seemingly haven't heard him. _"They're open twenty four hours. I could get you something. It'll just be a few more minutes."_

"No, it's fine. Just..." Alec gripped the phone tightly. He didn't know why, but he wanted Logan here. Now. He was only five minutes away. He didn't want food. "Just get back here. Okay?" Alec laughed, strained. "Don't you want to see what stuff's missing?"

 _"I'll get egg rolls. See you in ten."_ Logan hung up before Alec could shout back he didn't want any damn egg rolls.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for season one's "Haven". There's a tiny nod to Jensen Ackles and "Supernatural". There is also strong language in this chapter.

He said ten minutes.

Alec balanced on the balls of his feet on the couch. His knees pressed to the back of the sofa as he stared hard down the hallway the foyer led into from the door. He mentally calculated how long it would take to get food, park the car and ride the elevator up. He determined Logan was behind schedule by six minutes and thirteen seconds. _Two demerits, Logan._ Alec checked his watch. Shit, make that _seven_ minutes. _Four_ demerits.

When Alec heard the _snick_ of a keycard sliding into a slot, tumblers turning inside a lock, he jumped up to his feet. He repositioned himself leaning against the couch just as the sticky tread of a wheelchair quietly rolled into the apartment. 

Salt, grease, pork and spices drifted into the space first. Alec wrinkled his nose. He could pick out every scent but one. He folded his arms in front of him when Logan came into view. 

Alec did a quick tally: two arms, two legs, one dorky mess of brown hair, lush lower lip, eyes pale and—

"Took you long enough," Alec blurted out by way of greeting. 

The wheelchair halted. Logan blinked up at him. He appeared startled to see Alec. 

"I didn't know what kind of eggroll you wanted, so I got some of each."

Alec's smirk faded. Logan didn't look at him again, steering straight for the kitchen. A large oily spotted paper sack balanced on his lap. 

"Hey, doesn't matter. I was going to eat the rest of your peanut butter if you didn't get back soon enough." Alec edged closer to Logan as he stopped in front of his sink. He stared at the dishes on the drying rack. Maybe he was checking if Alec had left a mess?

A feeling niggled in Alec's gut as he approached the stiff posture. Logan appeared to be having trouble taking off his fingerless gloves. "So what you get?"

"Eggrolls." Logan gave up trying to pull his grip gloves off and resorted to using his teeth. 

The squirming in Alec's stomach twisted further. "Damn, I was hoping you would get some of that fried rice from last tim—I was only kidding about the rice!" Alec grabbed a handlebar when Logan swiveled his wheelchair back towards the hallway. 

The treads squeaked to a halt.

Logan peered up owlishly at Alec. "So you didn't want rice?"

"Did I wan—" Alec squeezed the handlebar tighter until it dug into the fleshy part of his palm. "No, I don't want any—What's the matter with you?" 

"Long day." Logan stopped fighting Alec's tug of war on his wheelchair. He blankly stared at his gloves in his hand before shaking his head and tossing them up to the kitchen island.

"The police are going to be scaling back on their patrols soon."

"That's great." Alec watched Logan as he poked through the bag. Logan didn't seem to notice the steam fogging up his lenses. 

Logan stared into the bag on his lap; his eyebrows furrowed.

"I got a lot of egg rolls."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Uh huh. Look, is this a porn thing? You get an appetite going after some hot and heavy? Let me grab that. That sack is probably hot— _Shit_!"

The moment Alec tugged the bag away from Logan's lap and onto the counter, the unidentifiable faint tinge registered the same time Logan's jacket fell open, exposing the brown-reddish stain crawled halfway up his shirt.

Alec dropped to his knees by the chair. He ignored the protest murmured over his head as he frantically pawed open the jacket. His fingers were unsteady as he brushed them on the crusty texture of dried blood that went from shirt's hem up to the sternum.

"Oh my God," Alec breathed as he tried to figure out how many liters that was. He'll need to sterilize some tubing, create something with a vacuum. He could jury rig an IV transfusion with a hypodermic needle...

"It's not my blood."

Alec's eyes jerked up to Logan. His hazel eyes were dull even under the glare of the kitchen lights.

"What?" Alec's fingers twisted the shirt hem. His skin prickled up his arm when he felt dry blood crack.

"It's not my blood." Logan gazed down at himself. 

"Then who's is it?"

Logan kept staring at himself.

"What the hell happened?" Alec straightened higher on his knees. He curled a hand around Logan's forearm.

Logan stirred. Eyes ringed with brown, still dim and dazed, lifted. 

"I killed someone." Logan's throat worked visibly. He absently brushed a hand over his shirt, testing if it was there. He paled further, the shadows under his eyes were more pronounced in contrast. 

"More than one." Logan's throat worked. His jaw visibly flexed. "Tried to put traps around the cabin but they..." He shook his head.

Bile souring at the back of his throat, Alec shifted closer. He gripped the armrests. 

" _They_? Was that what you were talking about yesterday? In Cape Haven? Why the hell didn't you say—" Alec released the armrests when he realized his fingers were digging deep enough to tear the padding.

Logan rubbed his forehead. "I thought I had all the exits covered. Thought I could get them to back off long enough for Sage to get away."

Alec didn't know who Sage was. He didn't _care_. "Sage? Was that your backup? Is he taking care of the bodies?"

Dazed, Logan frowned at Alec. "Bodies? Sage? No." He shook his head slowly. His face contorted; the move clearly nauseated him.

Alec swore under his breath as he slipped hands over both of Logan's clammy wrists. He could feel his pulse beating frantically. 

How the hell did Logan get back here? Did Sage drive him back? Was he back in Cape Haven or did the bastard ditch Logan with the clean up?

"Was Sage going to dispose of the bodies?" Alec tried once more, but Logan looked like he didn't hear him. He smoothed a palm over his shirt, flinching to himself at the feel.

"Logan."

Half mast eyes lifted up. Alec reached out and curled hands around bowed shoulders. He gave Logan a careful shake, more careful than he thought himself capable.

"You with me?" Quiet, even tones when Alec wanted to be shouting.

Logan gave a small nod. It wasn't convincing though. At least Logan looked like he was focusing on Alec's face now.

Alec took a deep breath. "Where are the bodies?"

"The bodies?" 

"Are they still in Cape Haven?" Alec absently rubbed Logan's arms up and down. Logan's skin felt cold even under the layers. Alec ran his hands more briskly over the chilled arms. 

"I can get there before high tide starts. They could be dumped and carried out to sea, or I could grab a boat, go out further—"

"The police already know."

Alec's eyes snapped up. " _What_?"

Logan shrugged a shoulder, but he didn't fool Alec, not when Alec could feel the minute tremors coursing down his arms like they were a live wire.

"I'm not in trouble with them," Logan said after catching Alec's scowl. He smiled, but it died quickly. "They're not charging me with anything. It was self-defense."

Alec rocked back on his heels. His hands, leaden, flopped to his sides. Christ, his body felt like it took off for Cape Haven anyway. 

"Oh. That's...that's good. That why you took so long?" 

"I needed to wait for Sage's mother to get him and—"

"Wait. His _mother_?" Alec glowered at Logan. "How old was this backup of yours?" 

When Logan's eyes slid sideways, Alec hopped up to his feet and paced. The faster he went, the more the taut feeling in his chest cinched tighter.

"He needed help."

"Well, apparently so did you!" Alec jabbed a finger Logan's way. "You should have said something!"

"Lydecker—"

" _Fuck Lydecker!_ "

Logan snapped out of his stupor. His face darkened. "You don't mean that."

"That old bastard hasn't caught even a whiff of me once—"

"Because he doesn't know you're here. He's so fixated in finding—" Logan's mouth shut. He took an unsteady breath.

"Look, as long as he thinks you're nowhere near Seattle, he's not going to look for you. You're safe as long as he's not looking for you."

"Hell, why should you care?" Alec muttered. He stilled at Logan's sharp inhale. He turned to Logan, who smiled tightly up at him, his knuckles white over his chair's armrests.

"I shouldn't." Logan's eyes drifted away from Alec again. 

Alec's words died in his throat. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "Yeah. Don't...don't know why you do." He glanced to the floor, at Logan's soaked boots.

"You're getting all kinds of shit dripping on your floor. I'm not cleaning that up."

Logan choked back a laugh. It didn't sound like he thought it was funny though. "I've had worse messes." 

Alec abruptly twisted around and poked through the contents. It was a safer option. 

The paper bag rustled noisily as Alec's hands grappled clumsily for the contents. His legs ached to carry him to Cape Haven. His arms, however, wanted to grab hold of Logan. It didn't make a hell lot of sense; Logan was clearly not going anywhere, much less back to that dump.

"Geez. Where did you get all this?" Alec sniffed each carton loudly as he pulled them out. 

"Chicken. Bean sprouts. Seriously? Mushroom. Tof—" 

Alec gaped at the rickshaw print cartons.

"What kind of eggroll has _tofu_? You got crab too? Damn, did you splurge and got any with beef—"

"I never killed anyone before."

Alec stilled. The carton of shrimp eggrolls dangled in his hands before he could wave it like a trophy.

The wheelchair groaned when Logan shifted his weight. Alec could sense him against the back of his legs. Briefly, he leaned into the heat; he soaked up the warmth before the chair retreated.

Alec lowered the carton. 

"I have," Alec said quietly. He didn't turn around. He didn't know why; he just couldn't. 

"Don't know how many though. I didn't keep count." Alec stared hard at the bottom of the bag, emptied of everything but the opaque orange packets of duck sauce, three small pints of complimentary soup and only one fortune cookie. Stingy bastards. 

"Four." Logan said it carefully like he was taking count in his head to be sure. "There were four of them."

This time, Alec did turn around. Logan was staring at the counter. Not at the cartons. Not at Alec's legs. Just the side of the island counter and its boring ass brushed metal surface. 

"Four, huh?"

Logan's shadowed expression met Alec's eyes.

It was on the tip of Alec's tongue to say something. Hell, four for Alec was Manticore's favorite type of morning cardio before a brisk 20K run. And if he were faster than the others, he would even get breakfast.

Alec took a deep breath. He wished he had some DNA from some genius psychiatrist, but Manticore was more about the sciences you could toy with in a test tube. He thought about what he should say, but then he realized no one ever said it to him.

So Alec just shrugged.

"That's it?"

"It's either them or you? Kill or be killed?" Alec offered. When his gut clenched at the thought, he fumbled out, "In case you're interested, I rather you kill them. If that helps, I mean."

Logan's mouth cracked into a grimace. "No. Not really. Sorry."

Alec lined up the cartons on the counter, first by alphabetical order then by what smelled most appealing first.

"It would have sucked if you had bought it..." Alec mumbled. He rubbed the back of his neck. He stole a glance at Logan. "I mean..." 

"Who would get your stuff?"

Logan stared. And stared. Finally, he ducked his head, his breath seeping out in a long sigh or a sort of broken laugh. He pinched his nose under his spectacles.

Unbidden, Alec's eyes drifted to Logan's stained shirt. Luckily Logan wore his jacket; the gruesome sight would have the cops stopping Logan on the street or at least freaked out the egg roll people.

"How close did they get?" Alec wished he didn't ask because it drew Logan's attention back to his shirt.

This time, it was a sigh. Logan pressed tentatively on his shirt.

"They weren't supposed to get that close." Logan dropped his hands, his throat working. "One did. His shot knocked me right out of my chai—What are you doing?"

Alec was on his knees by the chair again. One hand gripping the hem, midway from yanking up the shirt, he froze. 

"You said none of this was your blood," Alec bit out before he continued to pull up the shirt. His upper lip curled at the bloom of purple and red that wrapped possessively on Logan's left shoulder and side. He settled a palm over the bruising. The heat soaked into his hand.

"I wore armor."

Alec set his jaw to hold back what he thought about the armor's usefulness.

"So the blood?" Alec asked evenly.

"They're all his. We fought. He had a knife." Logan's shrug was audible in his voice. "Wheelchair. Upper body strength."

Alec released Logan's shirt. Absently, he smoothed it down over the battered torso. 

"Buckshot?" Alec asked, mostly to himself.

"Rifle. I think. There hadn't been time really to see."

Alec nodded. "Sounds about right. The bruising pattern distributed on your—" He frowned. He rubbed a thumb over the dried blood. The trembling was getting worse.

"Cold?"

Logan reached up to adjust his glasses. He missed. He lowered his hand quickly, but Alec caught the twitching in his fingers.

Not bothering to ask (Hell, he almost stripped Logan just now), Alec grabbed a wrist and pressed his fingers on the pulse. He didn't look. He didn't want to think about how fragile the thin blue vines appeared under the skin.

"What are you doing?" Logan asked. He didn't pull his hand away which was freaking out Alec.

"You're going into shock," Alec told him. He got up from his knees. "Come on." He waved at the bedroom. "You stink, too. Hot shower. Clean clothes. Food. Then bed." When Logan didn't move, still staring up at him, Alec waggled his eyebrows.

"Want some company?"

Logan huffed. He turned his chair; his shoulders tensed. They relaxed when he realized Alec wasn't going to push his chair. 

Alec kept the smirk on his face. When the door shut behind Logan, Alec felt his smile drop. His knees shook for some reason. He found himself leaning heavily on the counter, his nostrils filled with the greasy, salty tang of the eggrolls.

"What the hell?" Alec muttered. Blindly, he grabbed a carton. Moist heat clung to his face when he pulled the flaps opened. He crunched on the first eggroll he reached. He made a face. 

Ugh. Tofu.

Chewing it, Alec kept making faces but hell, food was food and he's had worst, more questionable things and so what if it smelled like crot—

Unbidden, Alec glanced to the floor. There was a dark red shard that must have flaked free from the caked stain on Logan's shirt. Not his blood. Someone else's; close enough to bleed on Logan, close enough to kill Lo—

Alec opened another carton. He chomped on a beef one next. He had finished in three bites before he grabbed a chicken one. Then the shrimp one. 

The food sat uncomfortably like a lump in his gut by the time Alec tried the mushroom one last. He couldn't remember what any of them tasted like. And his stomach churned like it wanted to throw all of it back up. He wiped his oily fingers on his jeans and swiped his tongue across his upper teeth. Even they felt greasy and gross. Damn, it's been a while since he could splurge on freshly fried food, but he'd forgotten how disgusting—

Logan's been taking a long time in the shower. 

Alec idly picked his teeth with his pinky as he gazed at the shut bedroom door. He hadn't heard a body thud (they're very distinctive) or any hysterical weeping (Logan didn't look like the type, thank God).

One eye trained at the door, Alec reheated one of the cartons of shrimp eggrolls and steered for the bedroom door.

"I'm coming in," Alec singsonged. "You better be naked in the—"

His boot easily nudged the door open, but Alec found himself standing under the doorway at the sight of Logan hunched over on the foot of his bed.

"Hey." Alec set down the food and found himself once again crouched by Logan's knees.

"Thought I told you to hit the showers, Stinky." Alec curled a hand around Logan's wrist. His throat worked at the feel of clammy skin. 

"Couldn't get out of my jacket," Logan muttered.

"Yeah, your ribs probably so hate you right now. Here, watch your arms." Alec tugged the jacket carefully off Logan's shoulders. The shivering increased.

"Come on." Alec carefully plucked Logan's spectacles off. It got him some weird startled look, but it at least shook Logan out of whatever haze he was in.

"Bathroom's over there." Alec tracked Logan as he transferred back into his chair and wordlessly rolled towards the bathroom. 

Alec didn't realize he followed Logan in until he bumped into the back of Logan's wheelchair. But Alec didn't say anything. Neither did Logan. 

Dull green eyes followed Alec as he ducked into the shower and set the water to just short of scalding.

"There you go." Alec made a sweeping gesture towards the shower. "Now please. Do our noses a favor and take a shower." 

The tan colored curtain snapped shut behind Logan. Alec could hear the slide of his shirt and jeans before they were discarded. Alec listened for him transferring over to shower, his breathing harsh and short but other than that, Logan didn't say a word.

"I'm gonna use your mouthwash," Alec said loudly as he hovered near the sinks. Geez, _two_ sinks. Really? One to wash his hands, the other to spit into? 

"I'm gonna use your toothbrush too," Alec went on. He ignored the toothbrush though. He smirked at the purple guy in the cracked mug with the faded logo of the last newspaper Logan wrote for before the Pulse. 

"Don't worry, Manticore splice and diced the possibilities of cavities out of us." Alec gargled loudly. Huh. Peppermint. Awesome. 

"You can get mouthwash," Alec grumbled after he rinsed, "But I gotta hock my spare boots to get a quart of apple juice? How messed up is that?" 

The water trickled like rain behind the curtain. There was a shadow bowed under the shower. It sat unmoving for a beat before arms finally reached up for the soap.

Alec tore his gaze away from the curtain. He cleared his throat. "Might as well. My breath ranked from those eggrolls. Hey, they're pretty good, you know? I liked the shrimp ones. The beef didn't taste like beef though. I think there was some horse mix in there, but what you don't know can't kill you, right?"

There was the quiet squeak of wet soap sliding across a porcelain ledge and shit, Alec didn't want to think about Logan and soap and—

"The chicken ones were salty." Alec fumbled to put down the purple toothbrush he found himself twirling between his fingers. 

"I don't get it. You can get salt, but there's a shortage on pepper? Doesn't that stuff grow wild in sidewalk cracks?" Of course, they didn't. Alec can give you the _genus_ of the species but damn it, he suddenly got verbal diarrhea, what the hell?

Alec talked about a restaurant he squatted in (no one ever checks the roofs) and the food he smelled and on what days people splurged on what. There was a pattern, Alec told Logan or at least to the shower curtain, to what people want. All the beef and short ribs get ordered on Fridays; vegetables are high in demand on Mondays after the fat cats finally feel guilty about their waistlines, seafood gets devoured mid-week because the prices drop. And screw it when it rains, because then...

Somewhere after Alec told Logan about the desserts and the one guy selling the over-riped tomatoes at the back door for snorting cash, the shower stopped.

Alec's monologue petered into silence. He waited. He could hear the showerhead dripping its last trickles of water. He could hear slick skin, skidding on damp tile. The shower bench creaked. The shower curtain rustled. But no Logan.

The shadow behind the curtain was motionless. Alec stared at it. He opened and closed his mouth a few times. He couldn't think of anything to say, but he couldn't look away either.

"Hey, you're not passed out in there, are you?" Alec said at last. He didn't get an answer but pushed on anyway. "If you are going to, can it be naked 'cause I'd been meaning to practice my naked CPR and—"

The shower curtain twitched. A damp towel smacked Alec square on the face. 

Alec didn't know why, but as he left the bathroom, peeling off the towel, he found himself smiling.

 

The chicken eggrolls weren't bad cold.

The thought of helping Logan dress pooled hot tendrils in Alec's groin. He escaped to the kitchen for more egg rolls. He tried not to listen for the hushed sounds of clothing against clean skin. The uncomfortable heat growing between his legs was all for manhandling a naked Logan into clothes, maybe into those soft worn, gray sweats, but boxers or no box—

Alec hastily crammed another egg roll into his mouth before he imagined either on Logan. He coughed, his face heating up from the exertion. Flushed, Alec gulped down water. The heat on his face, though, didn't quite go away.

Pals aren't supposed to be helping each other into or out of their clothes. They don't do this. Pals stay over, eat their food, give sympathetic pats on shoulders but no naked times. No, no, no.

The bedroom doorway was still shut. Alec kept glancing over as he dumped a little bit of everything on a new plate to heat up in the fancy microwave perched too high on the kitchen counter. Considering how it was shoved all the way back, Alec suspected that was why it looked untouched. 

Alec tugged the appliance down to the countertop. He hated reaching for the stupid thing.

While the microwave hummed, the bedroom door finally opened. Alec stared intently at the eggrolls as Logan wheeled out in the faded navy blue sweats Alec had pulled out from the closet.

"Better?" Alec asked as he straightened. He frowned when Logan didn't answer. 

Red-rimmed eyes blearily looked around. 

"What?"

"Have you seen my laptop?" Logan sounded puzzled and also bone-tired.

"Nope." Alec made a point not to look at the dining area where he may or may not have tucked the damn thing at the bottom of one of the towers of files. 

"Food's ready," Alec announced at the tiny _beep_. 

Logan pulled a face. "I don't think I can eat."

"After slaving all day in the kitchen?" Alec groused as he grabbed the reheated food. He tucked a couple of water bottles under his arm. He jerked his head towards the couch. 

"Go. Before I put you there myself. I'll cop a feel for payment."

To Alec's amusement, Logan gave him a squinty look over his glasses. His smirk faded when Logan didn't argue and obediently transferred off his chair to the couch.

Alec set the plate down on the coffee table with a flourish. He studied the floor, shrugged then promptly dropped down next to Logan instead. 

The smudges under Logan's eyes seemed darker this up close. Logan stared blankly at the window before idly glancing at the food. His throat worked.

"I'm not in the moo—"

"Not in the mood. Yeah, you never are," Alec said sharply. "I don't care. I'm not asking you to enjoy it. Just eat it." 

Alec stuck an eggroll halfway in his mouth. 

"Want me to feed you?" Alec pointed with both hands at the other half. He waggled his eyebrows.

Logan huffed. His mouth twitched at the corner. He reached forward and—

"Whoa." Alec grabbed Logan by the shoulders before he could faceplant onto the plate on the coffee table. He braced Logan against him.

Shallow breathing tickled the side of Alec's throat. He pressed his hands harder into Logan's shoulders, pulling him close. Logan rested his forehead on Alec's shoulder, his hand curled into the crook of Alec''s elbow. His breathing calmed.

Alec absently rubbed the stiffness he could feel down the line of Logan's back. Logan's shoulders relaxed against him.

"I said eat the food, not wear it," Alec murmured into Logan's ear. He closed his eyes briefly and counted the pulse he could feel beating against him. 

"Sorry. Dizzy," muttered Logan. "Maybe later?" He sagged back into the couch. His eyes started to slide down.

"No, no, wait, hold up." Alec gave Logan a shake. He was rewarded with a slit of cloudy green eyes. "Stay awake, okay? Until you get some food and water in you. You're definitely getting shocky."

Logan squeezed his eyes shut then forced them open wider. He braced a hand on his forehead. Maybe it was the other way around. All Alec knew was the couch and his hands were the only thing keeping Logan upright. Sort of.

Alec shoved a greasy eggroll into Logan's other hand. 

"Eat," Alec urged. "Just a couple. They don't taste like it, but the sugar and protein will do you good." He grabbed a water bottle, cracked it open and pressed it into Logan's hand once he started eating. "And finish that."

Alec didn't wait for Logan's reply. He went back into the bedroom in three long strides. He yanked the covers down halfway, grabbed the fleece blanket and ducked into the bathroom. The first aid kit he found was disturbingly well-stocked; it even contained a surgical sewing kit with dissolvable thread.

Not dwelling on why Logan needs all this, Alec set the kit on the end table and went back to the living room with the blanket. A glance told him Logan finished the water but only two eggrolls. He scowled. 

"Here." Alec unfurled the blanket over Logan's head. As Logan struggled out from under it, Alec snuck another eggroll in his hand.

Logan blinked myopically at it then at Alec. He smiled faintly and bit a small part of the fried top off.

The sun was starting its descent as they ate. Alec kept looking over; Logan slouched within the folds of the blanket made his chest clench. There was a bit of a flush on Logan's skin again but not a lot. The navy fleece was a stark contrast against Logan's ashy pallor.

"Bed," Alec announced after Logan finished his second bottle of water. He ignored Logan's stare when he checked his pulse once more. It was still too fast and there was a faint trembling thrumming under the clammy skin.

"I need to—"

"Nope." Alec shoved Logan at the shoulder. "Get in that chair and to bed. Now."

"I have work I need to—"

"What's today's date?" Alec demanded. 

Startled, Logan's protests trailed off. "What? Today's...today's..."

"Uh huh," Alec scoffed when Logan's brow knitted. "I thought so. Come on. First aid kit is in there too. Get that cute ass of yours in bed. I want to check those ribs."

"I'm fine," Logan protested even as he transferred back into his chair. He started when he felt Alec nudged the chair forward with his knee.

"Either you go in there or I'll carry you and trust me, that'll be an experience one of us will enjoy."

Logan didn't turn around, but his shoulders slumped. Much to Alec's worry, he didn't argue.

Alec stared after Logan as he wheeled into the bedroom. The mattress creaked moments later.

"Great idea," Alec muttered when he realized he'd just ordered Logan to bed. 

 

Logan was sitting up, his shirt pulled up to his arms. He repeatedly poked the bruise on his side when Alec came in.

"That's my job." Alec gestured towards the bed. "Lie back."

"I have a doctor," Logan grumbled but swiveled around and did just that.

"Yeah? I don't see you calling him." Alec shot back.

"That's because I feel fin—shit."

Alec winced at Logan's sharp inhale when he pressed down. He left his palm wrapped around the upper left side. Logan's heartbeat thumped steadily under his touch.

"Oops." Alec carefully probed the outer edge of the bruise. His hand barely covered half of the discolored area. "Take a deep breath."

Logan grimaced but complied.

"Deeper." Alec watched Logan's face. His hands slipped over to bracket either side of Logan's chest. 

"Think you can take an even deeper one?" He felt Logan's ribs expand, his flat stomach sinking to inhale and shit, should it be that easy to count his ribs?

Alec pulled his hand away when he realized he was stroking the indent the third and fourth rib made.

"Doesn't sound like they're broken," Alec rasped. "I mean, your breathing sounds okay, but bet they hurt like a bitch, huh?"

"I've hurt worse," Logan murmured, his eyes on the ceiling.

Alec's throat squeezed. "Great." He swept his palm over the bruise, trailing down to where the discoloring ended just below the diaphragm. He was glad the blood was gone, even if it was someone else's.

"How close was that guy?" Alec said as he pressed down on Logan's abdomen. No rebound. Thank God.

Stomach muscles clenched. 

"I...he was on top of me when he pulled out his..." Logan said, his eyes still ceiling-ward. His throat worked. "Close. He was close."

Alec brushed his palm over Logan's stomach. His eyes tracked the faint dark hairs peeking out just above his pants' waist; a promising enticing trail that led to the soft bulge nestled between Logan's legs. 

Hastily, Alec pulled his hand away.

"You hit your head?"

Logan paused at the question. He shook his head after a beat. "No...I don't think so."

Uh huh. Alec leaned in and slipped his hands under Logan's head. Ceiling now blocked, Logan's gaze had nowhere else to go but Alec's face as Alec wove his fingers through Logan's hair. It was still cool; his hair was damp from the shower. Streaked brown strands slipped through his searching fingers then curled up in odd directions.

Sure enough, there was a tender spot Alec found on the back of Logan's skull. Logan hissed on contact. 

A check at Logan's pupils proved them to be even. Logan looked wearily bemused when Alec asked him to squeeze both his hands.

"Should I be calling you doctor from now on?" Logan murmured as he watched Alec.

Alec felt around his neck, the right side of his ribs and his pulse again.

"Only if you want kinky, Heather," Alec quipped. He sat back on his heels as Logan tugged back down his shirt. He placed a hand on Logan's chest. "Whoa, where do you think you're going?"

"I have to—"

Alec scowled. "It can wait." He could see the shaking from where he was.

"No, it can't." Logan shook his head. Abruptly, he paled even further.

"Whoops. Hang on." Alec vaulted neatly off the bed, got the trash bin and helped Logan lean sideways just in time. 

Logan's shoulder bunched under Alec's grip as he retched. Alec grimaced, his own stomach churning in response.

"Bad eggroll?" Alec joked weakly when Logan was done. He got a washcloth and sat on a corner of the bed, watching Logan as he cleaned his mouth.

Logan nodded wearily when Alec passed him a water bottle. "Bad eggroll." He slumped forward and cradled the water bottle between his hands.

The label crinkled sandwiched between Logan's palms. The noise filled the bedroom. Alec grimaced. It sounded like brittle bones crackling.

"Look," Alec said quietly. "Whatever you think you gotta do, it can wait, all right?"

Logan wordlessly shook his head. He didn't move though.

Alec dropped a hand over the water bottle, halting its rolling. 

"Just get some rest first, get your head on straight." Alec waved feebly at Logan. "Your pulse is still pretty high and you got that gross toad skin thing going. Your ribs feel okay but I bet you're crashing pretty hard right now."

Logan was silent for a beat before he reluctantly nodded. 

"Maybe an hour," Logan croaked. "I have to—"

"Yeah, yeah, back to your porn, Heather. Gotcha." Alec twisted the cap off the water bottle. "Finish that." He watched the long line of Logan's throat as Logan drained the bottle. 

"An hour." Logan sounded like he needed another bottle.

"Just lie back, all right?"

Alec watched Logan ease down on his back with a grimace. His brow furrowed when he caught a tremor. 

"Still cold?" 

"Can't seem to get warm." Logan lay on the bed. He looked small; like he shrunk from the time he was in Cape Haven and back. He rubbed his arms up and down absently.

"You're shocky. It'll take a while." Alec nodded towards the spare pillow. "Tuck that to your stomach and roll onto your sid—Oh." He rubbed the back of his neck. 

Logan gave a strained laugh. "The worst part is I used to be a side sleeper but now..." He folded his arms over his stomach. He warily eyed Alec.

"You're going to watch me sleep?"

Alec leered. "Is that an invitation?"

Logan scoffed. His eyes slid shut. His brow furrowed as another shiver racked his frame. 

"Here." Alec tugged the covers up to Logan's chest. Logan sleepily murmured his thanks. 

Alec left his hand curled over Logan's shoulder. He frowned.

"You still feel cold." Alec glowered at the bed. The guy hardly has anything useful on the bed. 

"Want some socks?" Alec offered hesitantly.

"I don't think they'll help," Logan sighed. He peeled one eye opened to study Alec.

Alec pulled his hand away. He absently rubbed it on the bed. "What?"

Something flickered across Logan's face. "The bodies."

Alec frowned. "What about them?"

"You asked where they were."

"Yeah, so?" Alec tugged the covers higher over Logan. He debated tucking the fleece around Logan's feet.

"You were going to get rid of them. No questions asked."

Logan sounded uncertain if he heard correctly, but whatever assurances Alec knew he should say stayed stuck in his throat.

Alec shrugged.

A hand gingerly touched Alec's before pulling away.

"I wouldn't have put you in that position," Logan rasped. "Thank you for offering, Alec, but...I wouldn't have risked you like that."

"It wouldn't have been a big deal," Alec muttered. He rubbed a thumb across the lingering heat on his knuckles where Logan had touched him. "Nothing I haven't done before." He looked over to Logan, but the pained gaze made his eyes slide away. He cleared his throat.

"I'm gonna finish up your food, all right?"

Logan was still staring at Alec like there was so much he wanted to say. Alec rose to his feet.

"Not the tofu ones though," Alec said hurriedly. "They taste like...yeah, those are all yours."

With Logan's eyes skewering his back, Alec left the bedroom. He was only hurrying because the food was getting cold.

 

He'd forgotten about the video.

Alec paced from kitchen to living room and back until the exposed red and green wires under the flat screen caught his eye. He stopped, staring at it blankly until he remembered.

The wires were tucked back in place and the flashdrive was retrieved. Alec cupped the drive with both hands. He stared at the memory stick. 

Alec wondered if the body armor was the same as before; the same useless piece of shit that a bullet punched through into Logan's spine—

The flashdrive snapped in half in Alec's fist. He started.

The pieces of plastic and metal looked innocuous in his hands. But it held six minutes four seconds of film that changed Logan's life. 

Alec wondered why Logan didn't pick up the phone and call him.

Alec wondered if Logan picked up the phone back then. Would someone have picked up? Maybe that Max guy? Where the hell was Max when Logan was ambushed? Or did Logan went solo then to keep Max under the radar?

Someone should have been there then.

Someone should have been there in Cape Haven. 

The shattered drive dug into Alec's palm. He jerked at the smell of his own blood. He picked out the pieces. The cuts weren't deep. And he'll heal. He always does—

Alec abruptly threw the drive into his pack. He didn't think about it as he washed his hand clean of blood before steering straight for the bedroom.

 

Logan's eyes flew open when the bed dipped. 

"Alec, what—"

"Move over," Alec ordered. He yanked his shirt over his head. He could feel Logan's startled eyes on his bared skin.

"What are you—"

"Move over," Alec repeated, his voice unsteady. He gave Logan a half-hearted shove at the shoulder. "Quit hogging the bed." He lifted up his palms.

"You're still shocky. Your body temp's too low. Best way to get you warmed up is shared body heat." Alec paused at Logan's stare. He swallowed.

"You're only getting a very expensive genetically engineered hot water bottle, okay? Don't get handsy."

Logan wordlessly lifted a corner of the blanket before he shuffled over. His eyes tracked Alec as he lay down next to him. 

Backs on the bed, shoulders touching, they both stared at the ceiling.

Alec's throat worked. He could feel Logan's arm pressed up against his. He coughed.

"Wow, this isn't awkward at all."

Logan surprised them both by laughing. "Exactly what I was thinking."

Alec turned his head. He studied Logan's profile. Hazel eyes slid sideways to meet his.

"Ready?" Alec rasped.

Logan's throat bobbed. He said nothing as he struggled to turn his shoulders. He rolled awkwardly onto his right side.

Before Logan rolled over completely, Alec slipped an arm under him, catching him mid-turn. He wrapped the other arm around Logan. He fidgeted closer until his chin was resting on top of Logan's shoulder, his chest flushed to the length of Logan's spine.

Alec's arms felt leaden when he pulled Logan closer, his hands clasped over Logan's abdomen. He wanted to pull Logan closer, wrap around him better than any shitty armor ever could. He wanted to gather Logan and shield him from any more bullets. 

"Relax," Alec murmured into the side of Logan's throat. Logan was stiff and unyielding in his arms. He felt Logan swallow hard against his jaw. "You got 99.9 degrees wrapped around you for free."

"Not 98?" Logan breathed shakily.

Alec pressed his face onto Logan's shoulder blade so he could feel Alec's grin. "Hey, Manticore splice and diced us to run on the warm side. You think I was kidding when I said I was hot?"

Logan shook, his chuckles vibrating through his body and into Alec. "I thought you were being modest." His chuckles died down as a shudder rocked through him. "Damn it."

"Easy," Alec shushed. Before he could think against it, he spread his right palm open and slipped it underneath the soft sweatshirt. Logan stiffened.

"What are you—"

"Sh," Alec hushed. He massaged circles on Logan's stomach. He moved clockwise, his thumb pressing over the rigidness of muscles as his entire hand swept over Logan's stomach.

"It's the shock that's cramping you up. I don't even know how you made it back here like this."

"Wanted to go home," Logan mumbled. He trembled. "Wanted to come back."

"Well, you're here now. Relax. Deep breaths." Alec continued smoothing circles over the firm muscles. The skin felt like silk taut yet sleek with its strength underneath.

Logan's back lost its stiff posture. Alec felt Logan's weight settling against him, body molding into the cradle of his.

"Better?" Alec whispered as he reached over and snagged the covers. He tugged them over their bodies.

Logan nodded. "Just for a bit," he sleepily reminded Alec. "I have to get back to work."

"Uh huh," Alec murmured. He snaked his arm back around Logan. "Sure. You better not snore."

Logan scoffed. He took a deep breath then another.

"You didn't have to do this," Logan slurred.

Alec hummed as more and more of Logan's weight sagged against him. "I'm a saint."

There was a drowsy snort. 

Alec gave Logan a squeeze. "Shut up and sleep, Heather."

 

_He rolled him over just in time to see the light in his eyes fade._

_"Dea..."_

_And that was it. He was gone._

_As he held him in his arms, unable to breathe, unable to think, Lydecker stepped out of the shadows._

_His stopwatch beeped when he stopped it._

_"Good job, 494."_

Alec jolted. He almost jumped out of bed until the weight on his outstretched arm registered. He nuzzled the fine hairs that formed the start of Logan's nape and wondered what woke him.

Against him, Logan minutely tensed. He muttered; his voice was low and distressed.

"Hey," Alec murmured when he felt Logan twitch again. He eased his arm out from under, staying close so Logan wouldn't roll onto his front. 

Alec gave him a brief shake by the shoulder. Then a harder one.

Logan jerked.

"You kept stealing the blankets," Alec eased back behind Logan. He didn't think about how easy it was to slip his arms around back him. "And you _do_ snore, you bastard."

Harsh breathing expanded the chest against him; Logan's upper spine was an odd sensation against Alec's sternum. Alec tentatively rubbed Logan's stomach again. 

Logan felt warmer now, his skin now a smooth heat under Alec's touch. He could feel the other breathing: in and out, in and out. He felt something swell in his chest. His arms pulled Logan in closer. He folded his knees behind Logan's. Chilled feet touched Alec's; a startling cold shock that only Alec could feel. He tucked Logan's feet between his. He should have grabbed Logan some socks after all.

Alec thought about Logan, ninety four point six miles away in a crappy fishing town, almost dead. 

But there is no almost, is there? Dead was dead and Logan Cale would have tipped over to that side of the ledger while Alec ate cold pork chops and walked around his place barefoot in carpet.

A sharp inhale tugged Alec back to the present; his arms had started squeezing Logan.

"Sorry." Alec loosened his grip. But he couldn't bring himself to pull away completely. "Still cold?"

Another deep breath but nothing else.

"You got, like, a thousand eggrolls left in the kitchen. Want some?"

This time, there was a headshake. Alec watched, transfixed as the longer strands of Logan's hair clung to the pillow.

"Ribs all right?" Alec gently rubbed his knuckles along the defined muscles that hugged Logan's obliques. "Want me to kiss and make them better?"

Logan chuckled weakly but didn't comment.

Alec rested his chin on Logan's left shoulder. He breathed in deep. Logan smelled like soap and warm sleep. The sour tang of fear and sweat had evaporated the minute Alec woke him.

"Go back to sleep." Alec pressed his lips to the back of Logan's head. Logan sucked in his breath.

Alec froze when he realized what he had done. But then Logan's shaky voice cut through his "Oh shit, fuck, stupid" moment.

"I can still see him."

Logan's whisper was lost under the covers.

Panic bled away. Alec's hands loosened but stayed clasped over Logan's stomach.

"Just him?" Alec rested his forehead on Logan's shoulder.

Logan swallowed hard. Alec could see the motion moving the muscles on the nape of his neck. There was still a faint scent of soap. 

"All of them."

"Yeah," Alec rasped. He tentatively leaned in to nose over that pale stripe of skin. It looked vulnerable. It looked cold. He pushed his mouth into the spot and exhaled.

Another swallow. It was fascinating to watch the subtle muscles at play from this angle. 

"Alec...Does it ever go away?"

_Canton, Lisbon, Cambridge, Berrisford, Ventura..._

Alec's mouth worked to get past the achiness in his throat.

"Sure," Alec whispered. He bit his lower lip and pressed his blurring eyes into that vulnerable, unmarked neck.

"I forgot as soon as I stepped out the door."

Night had absorbed the sounds of city life below. In the silence, their breaths were harsh in the bedroom, too loud in his ears.

Hesitantly, Logan's hand covered Alec's on his stomach.

Alec squeezed his eyes shut even tighter and listened to their breathing fall into sync.

 

When the bed moved underneath him, Alec jerked awake. He kept his eyes closed once he determined there was no threat.

"Where are you going?" Alec whined as he wiggled his now freed arm towards what used to be a very nice warm spot. "Get back over here. I'm not done molesting you yet."

There was a huff in response.

Alec peeled one eye open, reluctant to shake off the unfamiliar fuzzy sensation of lethargy. Logan had levered himself up to sit, his legs hanging over the edge of the bed.

"I need to get back to work."

Alec scowled. "Seriously? You can take a day off from...whatever."

Logan shook his head. He straightened his sweatshirt. He proceeded to do the awkward hip and hand drag to the side of the bed where the wheelchair was.

Completely awake now, Alec propped himself up with an elbow. 

"So that's it? Take a nap, shake it off then back to work, heigh, ho, heigh, ho?"

The bed stilled. Logan sat there, both arms straight out and stiff on the mattress.

"I can't ignore this." Logan grunted as he transferred into his chair. He rolled up the fleece blanket crumpled there and tucked it behind him. 

"Ignore what?"

Logan shook his head. The brakes snapped free and the chair inched away.

"You know," Alec said evenly as he yanked his shirt off the floor. He jerkily pulled it over his head. "Whatever fancy exposé Mr. Logan Cale is writing up better be worth all this."

The chair stopped by the doorway. "It's not...I'm not doing this for an article."

Alec's head popped free. He yanked impatiently at his shirt. "Yeah? Then for what? What was so damn important about some rundown town? How did it end up with four dead bodies?"

The light in the living room framed Logan, cloaking his back and his chair in darkness. "I don't want you involved."

Alec rolled his eyes. "I don't _want_ to be involved. I told you: I'm not trying to cut in on your action." 

"I'm not..." Logan sucked in his breath. "Look, there's no action, no profit just...I'm trying to...There are things out there that needs...fixing." He gripped his armrests tightly. "It's not something you should get involved in. I'll deal with it myself."

The scoff came out before Alec stopped himself.

Logan gave him a sharp look before wheeling out.

"I don't get you," Alec griped as he padded out behind Logan. "You get a sector pass; you could have lived it up anywhere. Hell, blow a few days in LA but instead, you go to Cape Haven, to do what?" He tracked Logan as he made a circuit around the kitchen, collecting the cartons of eggrolls. Logan didn't look at them. He just put them all in the refrigerator before he steered for his office. 

"Who the hell is Sage?"

The wheelchair halted with a squeak. Logan darted Alec a look. 

"No one."

"Uh huh." Alec counted off what he knew. "Obviously a kid since he had to wait for his _mom_ , what's his relation with the guy you wanted to talk to?"

Logan set his jaw. 

Alec wanted to grab the moron by the shoulders—whether to shake him or haul him back to bed, he couldn't decide.

"Lydecker left town." Logan shot Alec a look. His eyes slid away. "The police had already pulled out of some sectors to stay by the gates."

"And you know this how?" Alec clocked his hip against the couch. "Between your search for your mysterious guy, babysitting this Sage kid and playing bad ass, where did you find the time to check up on Lydecker?"

"I have my sources."

"Sources," Alec muttered under his breath. He snatched his boots up by the couch. "Of course he has sources," he mumbled as he shoved his feet into his boots. 

"Alec."

"What?" Alec focused on redoing up his laces. One snapped off. Damn it.

"I..." Logan exhaled. He looked pained. "I can't explain. I'm sorry. I didn't want to drag you into any of this. I'm sorry. You're right. You don't need this hassle."

Reluctantly, Alec lifted his eyes. The wheelchair was halfway into the computer area, angled in a way that hid Logan in the shadows.

"It's only a hassle because you're making it into one." When Logan wouldn't look his way, Alec jerked at his laces. The other disintegrated with a simple tug. 

Alec swore and stomped hard on the carpet. The laces were still shitty, but it made him feel a little better.

"Just leave it alone, Alec." Logan turned at Alec's scoff. 

Alec's retort faded at the bleak face. He looked down at his boots.

"Need-to-know, huh?" Alec murmured. "Does matter if I _want_ to know?"

"Trust me; it's safer for you if you don't."

Alec bit back a snort. Trust him? He sobered at Logan's drawn expression. The guy looked like he was scared for Alec, not _of_ and Alec wasn't sure how he was suppose to react to that.

"Your neighbor on 5B got in some boxes yesterday." Alec turned away. His throat felt tight. "Think a little pay day is in order."

Logan's chair creaked. Alec quickly scanned it. It didn't look like it was going to fold up and drop Logan on his ass though. Alec straightened from his crouch.

"The Gregors." Logan eased into the computer area. He fiddled with an earpiece. "Wife has been claiming disability. Husband is an authenticator for the few museums we have left. He's suspected of bringing his work home." His shoulders tensed. 

"At one point he might have stolen a Jackson Pollack from a couple going through bankruptcy but it never resurfaced in any of the black markets."

"Pollack, huh? Expensive?"

Logan's face twisted. "Most of our Pollacks were sold right off our museums' walls. We don't have many national treasures left."

Alec shrugged. "Whatever. I need new boots." He twirled a broken shoelace in the air. He zipped up his jacket and checked to make sure his pack was good. He poked inside until he spotted the gray wool scarf curled up inside. 

"Thanks for letting me squat here," Alec said brightly as he wound the soft material around his neck. He inwardly winced at how loud it sounded in his ears. "Gotta blaze. Back to work. I'm gonna grab a bag some of those eggrolls to go."

"Thanks, Alec," Logan said quietly. He didn't turn around. "For everything."

"Sure. No big deal."

"Maybe not to you." Logan curled and uncurled a hand over his earpiece.

Alec stared at Logan's bowed head. 

"You know I'm not trying to cut in on whatever you got going, right?" Alec said nonchalantly. "But you got me curious."

"Curiosity kills the cat, Alec."

When Logan offered nothing more, Alec abruptly turned on his heels. Fine, the guy could keep his damn secrets.

"Don't bitch if you find anything missing." Alec headed for his window. Behind him, he heard Logan roll deeper into his computer area. Before he could say "Later", the glass partitions slid shut around him. 

Alec stared at the vague shape behind the glass. For some reason, Logan didn't go to his desk. He sat there, middle of the space.

Gradually, Logan wheeled towards his desk. He reached up.

 _Pop_.

The hum of the white noise generators was Alec's only warning before Alec's ears popped with abrupt pressure. He made a face; he tugged his ears to sooth the throbbing in his ear canals.

Alec glowered at the shape on the glass.

"Whatever," Alec muttered as he jerkily yanked on his climbing gear, hooked up with the line he left dangling from the roof.

With one more frown towards the glass walls, Alec slipped out, reset the alarm and headed down to the fifth floor.

 

The Gregors kept a lot of shit.

The boxes Alec had spied arriving to 5B contained a bunch of statuettes and old books that were handwritten and smelled like dust and ink. Alec slipped what he could into his pack. He flipped off the couple sleeping in their bedroom. 

As Alec made his way towards the window, a spotty painting on the wall caught his eye.

Alec left the painting by Logan's dining table. He could hear underwater like sounds coming from the computer area. Heather was still hard at work. He set the painting next to the folders of Mount Cale. To pay for the eats, the chicken, that nasty goat milk. He didn't like debts, especially over food.

The noise generator hummed, burying Logan's tenor under layers of frequencies. Like a body under dirt. The comparison left Alec feeling cold. He left with an uncomfortable knot in his throat.

 

The small hole in the wall today sat in-between Logan's fancy neighborhood and Alec's current bolt hole. It was a decent place for cheap food. It was a pair of RVs, streaked with rust, welded together and looked like it needed a wash with some acid. It was dragged around the city by a decommissioned and illegally purchased military jeep whenever the 'licensing fee' Seattle PD demanded was too high. 

The nameless, wandering eatery still had the television set Alec traded for a couple of meals. It was also one of the rare places where the owner Cole—a pot bellied balding dude trying to earn money to immigrate to Spain—didn't want Alec anything more than the occasional creative acquiring of junk to pretty up his dump. He didn't eye Alec, trying to imagine him on his knees, nor did he appear tempted to ask for something more than crumpled bills for his food. It was refreshing.

"Jason!" Cole gestured at the television set hanging precariously over the three oil barrels that served as the bar. "This piece of shit is busted. Again!"

Alec shrugged one shoulder then slapped a palm on the side of the set. It gurgled, blinked and went back to hockey. He grinned cheekily at Cole.

Cole flipped him a finger and told him to sit his ass down.

Fingers tapping on the lopsided table, one boot pressed against one leg to keep it steady, Alec surveyed the space and the customers. No one of interest, no one looking at him _with_ interest as well. Then again, the last guy who tried to ask for a sample, Cole threw out with a meaty fist; he hollered he ran a diner, not a rutting brothel. 

The loot from the Gregors sold for an okay amount. It contributed to his tattoo fund, but not enough to fill his coffers before spring gets here. But going back to watch Logan pay more attention to that stupid laptop of his or spend the time finding a new mark didn't appeal to him. Not tonight.

Alec absently touched the scarf around his neck; he'll have no reason to wear this soon. He'll have to double up his jobs tomorrow.

_"Do not attempt to adjust your set..."_

"Again?" someone complained.

Alec looked up in time to see a bone sail across to the screen. Cole promptly threw the guy out.

_"...years ago, police struggled to maintain control over a population rioting after the Pulse..."_

"This guy's broadcast been repeating the same two hacks every few hours," Cole griped as he slapped down a chipped plate of food in front of Alec. The salty gravy slopped over onto Alec's hand.

"Customers come to bitch at hockey, not at the police in some hick town." Cole waved a dirty paw towards the television. "Can't you do anything about that? This is bad for business."

"It's a hack, not static," Alec mumbled around a bite of chicken. Mm, not bad but it could use some carrots.

"You were raised in a barn? Don't talk with your mouth full." Cole slapped the back of Alec's head. The smell of grease lingered on his hair.

"Raised in a test tube actually," Alec quipped but as usual, Cole just grunted, unimpressed. 

_"...unarmed protestors were rounded up, executed and buried..."_

"He's gonna wreck my business," Cole muttered. "That guy needs a life."

_"...a source, killed in the act of protecting others..."_

Alec shrugged as he wiped his plate clean of gravy. Cole hid a slab of day old bread under a pile of shredded chicken meat. The fat bastard didn't like being seen playing favorites. 

"Over and over," Cole grumbled. "He was quiet for a few days. Thought maybe he bought it."

Alec frowned at the thought. "Hey, he's here to fight the fight, the down trodden, etcetera, etcetera. He's the only free voice left in the city." Plus, he sounded kind of hot.

"Who the hell cares about what happened in Cape Haven?"

Stomach suddenly clenched, Alec stilled. He gulped hard to force the bit of food in his mouth to go down. It actually hurt.

"What?" Alec managed.

Cole gestured towards the set again. He stomped back to his cook top as more customers straggled in. Alec stared at the television.

_"...murdered in their own home and the local militia covered the truth. Four locals..."_

He said it was four guys. 

_"...one officer stepped forward, witness to corruption during the post-Pulse riots. Fearing reprisal, he had fled to Cape Haven where he redeemed himself ultimately..."_

The eyes staring out the screen were the wrong color.

_"There was no police. Everyone was sent to the cities to control the protestors. Towns, once safe towns, were left forgotten, lawless..."_

But the longer Alec stared, the more he could see the shape of the eyes; he could imagine the brown swept of the brow. Even barely blinking, Alec could imagine what those eyes would look like: crinkled at the corners in a rare blink of amusement.

_"...peace out."_

The television flickered back to hockey. Some cheered. Alec felt the bottom of his stomach drop out.

"Oh, fuck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the delay. Sadly, I overestimated my speed in reviewing and correcting each part while juggling work and family. I'm going to stick with posting longer parts on Tuesdays only. Thank you for sticking with this story regardless. And much gratitude for the private emails pointing out errors I've missed. It helps me in the long run!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: off-screen minor character death
> 
> Spoilers: briefly mentions events from "Out", "Female Trouble" and hints on season one.

The fence looked like it was giving tetanus away for free. 

The junkyard was abandoned a long time ago; the Pulse had made everyone scavengers and it couldn't compete. The fence that circled the defunct lot was twisted, rusted and mangled where the owners once tried to discourage thieves by threading barb wire through the gaps. Leaves snaked between the metal lines, spider webs that caught flies hung like sticky fat white drips everywhere.

Not the best place to be.

So why the hell was Logan Cale here?

Alec scowled. He used the tip of his k-bar to part the curtain of weeds to track Logan. He had to admit; it was hard to follow Logan's car. The guy drove as if he expected he would be tailed. Alec lost him a few times before winding up here.

Bouncing in his chair despite being belted in, Logan maneuvered around pot holes and uneven dirt. He stopped occasionally to look around his surroundings, take a breather before laboriously reaching a clearing to wait.

There were stacks of crushed cars to Logan's three, five and nine o'clock. They were tall enough to block the afternoon sun and like the other strange places Alec had followed him to for the past two weeks, Logan came alone.

The camouflage paint on Alec's face was practical. Many of the spots he followed Logan to were too out in the open. Hiding in the overrun foliage, perched on trees and crouched in ditches was often the best way. 

Still, the paint sat heavy on his skin. It was a weight Alec wished weren't so familiar; it was a weight that usually accompanied the sensation of a sniper rifle cool and ready in his grip. Back then, there had been a need for concealment as well.

This time though, it was only for intel, Alec reminded himself. What better way to find your next job than from the big man himself? And hell, figuring out who was next on _Eyes Only's_ shit list got him a day's lead before the vultures (aka Seattle PD) swoop in. Logan could keep his stupid secrets and his drama to himself so long as it kept lining Alec's pockets. As soon as he got enough of a list from following around Logan, he was going to cash in.

Something curled in his gut. It was the same feeling he got every time he found himself staring across a clearing, watching Logan with that damn gun holster tucked under his arm. 

The Pelican .37 Logan carried was a joke. At fourteen rounds a clip with a short firing range, the only thing that it was good for was close range engagement. It was too light if Logan needed to pistol whip anyone; too heavy to balance one handed. Alec remembered how his hand had trembled when he shot towards him after Alec startled him.

As useless as the armor proved many times before, Alec thought Logan should have worn one anyway under his thick leather jacket. Unless the black leather hid a layer of plating, Logan appeared vulnerable, too exposed and cold.

His skin itched, remembering how warm Logan felt curled back against him; how cold and clammy his skin was before that.

Alec lowered his blade and let the weeds fall closed over the image of Logan. But the moment he lost line of sight, something inside his chest clenched and he quickly parted the weeds again to be sure Logan was still there. He was. Of course he was. _Dumb ass_.

Alec wasn't sure whom he was referring to. 

Out of the corner of Alec's eye, there was movement. A shadow detached itself from the farthest stack. Logan spotted him two seconds after that. 

Alec tensed. He crouched closer and squinted through his cover as the approaching shadow solidified into shape. When the figure stepped into the light, Alec relaxed.

The fine-boned Asian features drew a name: Matt Sung. The tall man was a repeat attendee to whatever secretive _Eyes Only_ clubhouse meeting Logan arranged every other day. 

From what Alec could find out, Sung was a detective stuck without a promotion for the past six years. He had a good arrest record, which was impressive in the post-Pulse times. But he stepped on too many dishonest and corrupt toes to rise up the ranks.

Alec cocked his head. He stayed low, on one knee as he scanned the area in case there were others listening too. He thought he saw a reflection flashing at the corner of his eye, but he spotted nothing. Even with his enhanced eyesight, he couldn't guarantee every shadow was truly just a shadow. He fidgeted as Sung closed the distance easily with his long stride. Alec's hand flexed as he eyed the crushed car stacks for movement. 

Logan nodded in greeting. And nothing happened. No gunfire. No _accidental_ stack toppling over. Nothing.

Alec scowled. They should have met somewhere else.

"You pick the nicest places," Sung greeted back jovially. His voice was low, but not low enough for Alec's ears. To his credit, Sung kept checking over his shoulder. The detective only carried a sidearm though. He didn't wear body armor either.

Alec frowned at Logan's weary voice. "A lot safer than a phone call. You never know who's listening."

Sung flashed a quick smile. "Wouldn't that be your boss?" 

Alec perked up. Apparently Logan was keeping _Eyes Only_ to himself.

"Or Big Brother." Logan accepted the large envelope. "This the evidence?"

"Mistakenly misfiled in the Civil cases section." 

"Or deliberately," Logan muttered. "Bronck was known to have some badges under his payroll."

"Yeah. It's why no one knew I found this." Sung nodded towards it. He watched Logan pull the papers out. "Custom declaration forms for cargo heading to Vietnam and Dubai." He snorted, his face darkening. "As home entertainment."

"I doubt they're projection screens or blu-rays. Not on planes that large." Logan scanned the paperwork. "Three shipments already left last month. Damn." 

"I'm still trying to find a list of what properties he owns. But all electronic paper trails were lost in the Pulse."

"He has to be taking off those planes somewhere close by, like a private strip." Logan frowned as he continued reading. "There's no indication of him owning or leasing an airstrip."

Sung scowled. "For the right price, no one's going to ask Bronck to complete his paperwork."

Logan grunted as he shuffled through the paperwork. "Did you find anything more about the shootings?"

Sung shook his head. "No witnesses."

"No witnesses as in..."

"As in no one saw anything." Sung sounded as frustrated as Logan looked. "Sorry."

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Keep trying. Someone must have saw something. As for Bronck, my boss is going to keep the pressure up. Might force Bronck's hand. He's bound to slip up."

"Hey, you feeling all right?" Sung cocked his head as he considered Logan.

"Great," Logan muttered.

" _Eyes Only_ found what he needed in Cape Haven?" Sung grimaced. "That was some report about the protestors. Half my department was suddenly reassigned elsewhere."

"Sorry." Alec was irked to see Logan was indeed sorry. "Anyone we should be concerned with? I could let him know and we could—"

"No. I was only saying. Making conversation, that's all. Did us a favor really. All the good cops stayed."

Logan stared up blankly at Sung before offering him a jerky nod.

Sung studied the top of Logan's head. He cleared his throat.

"You hear anything about him?" 

Logan shook his head.

Sung exhaled. "Hell. That can't be good."

Logan grunted. His shoulders were stiff. He kept his eyes on the paperwork.

"I uh...haven't seen your other friend around either."

"Canada."

"Ah." Sung smiled sadly. "Probably for the best."

"It is." 

For whatever reason, Sung found the top of Logan's head fascinating. "Listen. Logan. If you ever want to talk. I mean...you know...we could grab a bite to eat or something like we used to..."

Logan blankly blinked up at Sung. He shook his head. "It's best if we're not seen together. Safer that way."

Shrugging, Sung slipped his hands in his trench coat pockets. He smiled faintly at Logan. "Safer. Maybe. But sure as hell sounds lonely."

The papers flapped wildly in the breeze as Logan shuffled them back into the envelope. "Better than dead." He nodded, unsmiling at Sung. "Thanks for the intel. _Eyes Only_ will be interested in this."

"I'll keep working on getting that list. I got some people checking for witnesses to that other thing."

This time, Logan offered a wan, but genuine smile. "Thanks." 

Sung stared at Logan. He reached out a hand to Logan's shoulder but changed his mind at whatever he saw.

"If I hear anything about him, anything at all, I'll call you. Okay?"

Logan nodded. "I appreciate it."

"Hey, man. You know you can call me out for just a couple of beers if—" Sung exhaled at Logan's negative.

"Better not. You know how much your wife and kids hates when you're late for dinner." Logan gazed up at the detective. He offered a half grimace.

"Thanks though, Matt."

Sung's shoulders dropped. "Yeah. All right. I'll call you if I have anything new."

Logan mumbled his thanks. He turned his wheelchair around and with a muttered, "Bye" he steered to his left.

Sung watched Logan for a moment, frowning after him. After a beat, the detective shook his head and walked away in the other direction.

Alec chewed his lower lip thoughtfully before slinking off to the left as well.

 

_"... is a Streaming Freedom Video bulletin..."_

Alec closed his eyes as he listened to the television on Mrs. Moreno's floor. He absently stroked the folds of faded wool coiled loosely around his throat. If he concentrated, he could make out the throaty syllables the deliberate mangling a digitizer couldn't hide.

" _...It cannot be traced; it cannot..."_

It was good. If someone was pissed off enough to take a voice sampling, he or she would still need a baseline to filter out the distortion. And the broadcasts kept changing in color tone: black and white, blue. As riveting Logan's unblinking stare could be, it was hard to guess what he really looked like.

" _...stopped and it is the only free voice left in the city..."_

The roof was damp from the brief snow fall Seattle had in place of its endless drizzle. The staggered ledges of the roof glistened with ice crystals. Alec had to wipe frost off the two skylights on his part of the roof. Winter so far was determined to stick around, much to Alec's relief. The chill seeped through Alec's ratty aviator's jacket and jeans, but that's okay. The cold kept at bay the odd heat curling in his gut as he listened.

 _"...enterpriser_ _Gerhardt Bronck..."_

"You idiot," Alec breathed into the night. Apparently, Logan wasn't kidding last week about putting the pressure on. "Bronck again? Seriously?"

The rigging coiled by Alec's feet had collected snow from the past few days. Alec sat up and grabbed the lines. Ice flaked off. He paused.

_"...you will be stopped, Bronck..."_

Alec thought of the dark alleys he's trailed Logan to. He thought about Logan, driving off to Cape Haven, a kid as his backup. He thought of Logan telling him what had happened but really saying nothing at all. All of Logan's vague references building around him like a wall to keep Alec out.

The rigging dropped to the roof.

Alec folded his arms on the roof ledge. He rested his chin on his arms as he listened to Logan's hack finishing up. He smiled crookedly when Mrs. Moreno gave _Eyes Only_ a tiny round of applause. Mrs. Moreno always had good taste although he didn't get her steadfast loyalty to the _Tokyo Timberwolves_. According to the ranting Chinese sports announcer, they didn't win enough games or have the cash to buy a slot in the playoffs. Alec had to admit their goalie—Mrs. Moreno's favorite player to cheer—reminded him a little of Logan with his mercurial hazel eyes and scruffy strong jaw. He didn't have Logan's cheekbones though. Or his mouth. Or his ass. Or his hand—shit, his _hands_ , his rough skinned strong hands and that callous on his...

Hastily, Alec cleared his throat. He adjusted himself and checked the floor below Mrs. Moreno.

The light on Logan's floor stayed on even as the transmission switched back to Mrs. Moreno's beloved hockey.

"Gerhardt Bronck," Alec scoffed as he turned back aruond.

Of all the people to piss off.

Logan, _Eyes Only_ , whoever, seemed determined to take down Bronck. And based on Cape Haven, the idiot most likely wanted to do it on his own. 

Alec's mouth flattened. He rubbed his palms on his jeans.

Logan Cale was a trust fund baby. Of Cale Industries, no less. He was surviving well off the paranoid post-Pulse society with their hoverdrones. So Logan didn't need money. 

A breeze went by and ruffled his bangs. Alec pursed his lips. 

Was Logan bored? The guy had books everywhere, huge kitchen if he wanted to cook and enough money to _buy_ his own entertainment if he wanted. And the way Logan looked, Alec knew finding _entertainment_ wouldn't be hard although his stomach clenched at the thought.

The wheelchair popped up in Alec's head. His mouth folded downward. He twisted around and checked below again. Logan's light was still on. Alec wondered if Logan ever turned it off before midnight. 

Alec glanced over at his rigging. He chewed his lower lip. 

There was no reason to come by. No files, no names to find, nada. 

Alec set his jaw. He locked his knees to rise. He hesitated as his eyes landing on his rigging again.

Logan had driven five hours to Cape Haven without telling anyone (Alec). Then, after killing four men in self-defense, Logan drove himself back. 

Alone.

Seemed like _Eyes Only,_ or Logan Cale, preferred it that way.

Throat tight, Alec dropped back down on his ass. But he couldn't bring himself to leave either. He sat on the roof, staring until Logan's light finally flicked off.

 

The would-be sniper sagged to the floor without a sound.

Alec stood over the black garbed goon-for-hire. He had squatted on Alec's favorite spot: twenty meters high above ground in a decrepit office building that overlooked Seattle's bankrupted city zoo. The former tourist spot looked more like a jungle now with its overrun trees and wild ivy wrapped around the empty cages. The animals were long sold off; their watering holes now cess pools for trash and rodents.

"I was here first," Alec chided the senseless guy currently drooling on the stained carpet. His gun, a very impressive long range Russian Mako 53 with armor piercing bullets, stood with its long muzzle balanced on the sill. 

Alec smoothed a hand over the sleek barrel. He admired the shiny scope screwed on top. The lens was thick; the metal was unmarred and even offered a night vision option. Awesome. It wasn't a piece he favored when he was in good old Manticore High, but he appreciated the quality of the import. Dismantled, it would get him a few bucks. 

"Restitution." Alec toed Sleeping Beauty with his boot. The guy was out and should stay in the land of the senseless for another hour. Just enough time to wake up being arrested for whatever Alec can think of when he phones in his 'anonymous tip.' And with seven dislocated fingers, Alec was sure holding a rifle steady again was not in the guy's future. Boo hoo.

The guy's wallet had a few hundred dollars, and the lighter was gold plated. Alec made a face at the guy's counterfeit watch and screwed up his nose at the guy's shoes. There were limits to what he'll help himself to. Lifting subpar merchandise always left him feeling icky.

Alec pocketed the cash and lighter. He smirked. Not a bad haul. He glanced out the window. His smile dropped.

Immediately, Alec crouched on one knee and balanced the rifle in his grip. He took a deep breath to steady his hands. 

Muscle memory was a bitch. His hands automatically fitted around the barrel and trigger; he aimed before he registered what he saw through the scope. 

Alec recoiled from the rifle. He stared at it, breathing heavy before scowling down at himself. He gritted his teeth and forced himself to go back to the rifle.

Far away, their regular business done, Logan steered his wheelchair opposite of his informant. Alec watched the tiny figure as it rolled past the window, stuttered over broken pavement before disappearing out of his scope's range into the rundown car lot.

Through the scope, Alec watched Logan's car drive away. He watched it disappeared into the main road. He kept watching it shrink smaller and smaller until he couldn't see it anymore even with his eyesight.

After a few minutes, after seeing no other car followed it, Alec exhaled. He panned the rifle across the zoo one last time. Satisfied, he packed up the black duffle bag with the assault rifle and slung it over his shoulder. He blew a kiss in thanks to the guy slobbering on the floor and left to make a call to Seattle PD.

 

Logan looked tired.

Alec lowered the scope he dismantled from the Mako to consider the figure in the car. Like many times before, the vehicle parked behind a cluster of buildings currently housing half of Seattle's squatters. Sometimes the car was there for fifteen minutes, sometimes for hours.

Tonight, it looked like it was going to be the latter. Two hours and the informant Logan paid off with a wad of cash was still a no-show. Logan waited with an arm resting on the open window. He stared blankly out his windshield, his mouth pressed thin with stress.

Alec studied the angle of Logan's cheekbones and the almost purplish smudges under his eyes. He wondered if Logan had been 'in the mood' for anything lately or was there a row of peanut butter jars taking up space in his fridge again. 

Perched on top of a stack of rusty shipping crates used as a hotel for the poor and notorious, Alec watched Logan's eyes slowly drift shut. He tensed but before he could do anything (what, he wasn't sure), Logan's eyes flew open. Logan shook his head then reached down for a battered thermos. Alec suspected it was coffee and judging Logan's grimace; it had gone cold.

Winter was not bowing out to spring in the city; it was still cold enough to draw chilled white puffs of exhale in the air. Logan wore his grip gloves, but Alec wondered if they were enough when Logan cupped his hands to his mouth and breathed on them.

Alec frowned. It was nearing three hours now and still no informant. Logan should give up and go home rather than wait for an obviously unreliable asset. But the last few times, he heard Logan repeatedly ask after the informant's little boy and sometimes, there is a phone number to a specialist along with the cash. Whatever the guy's sob story was, it was enough to make Logan wait in the shittiest part of town, past curfew for a pitiful amount of intel.

Logan Cale, bleeding heart.

It was tempting to march in there and point out to Logan that it was too cold for his source to show up. But that meant showing his face. It also meant there was a chance Logan Cale will stop showing his because the paranoid bastard would pack up and go off grid so he could do his solo superhero crap. 

So Alec stayed put, like he has been for the past few weeks.

The night dragged on. Logan knuckled his eyes and waited.

And so did Alec.

 

The last place Alec expected was the County Morgue.

So far this month, Logan's been in alleys, abandoned lots, condemned buildings and one time, under a bridge that had way too many guys leering hungrily at Logan as he wheeled past. Alec discouraged a few, may or may not have kneed two pervs in the balls and most definitely relieved them all of their wallets.

So far, Operation Follow Logan Cale aka _Eyes Only_ has been pretty profitable.

But a morgue?

Alec crawled on his belly through the duct that cut through the center of the building. The place reeked of pickles and hash and formaldehyde. He wrinkled his nose but stayed where he was, in a vent overlooking the main corridor.

His smelly stakeout was rewarded when one door opened, and the familiar sticky tread entered the corridor. The acoustics rang hollow. The wheelchair's creak echoed like the slow snapping of bones.

Alec huddled deeper into the folds of the scarf around his neck. Place was cold too.

A light click of heels followed the chair.

"...sorry," a woman sighed. Her voice carried a faint European accent. Her shadow on the black linoleum appeared slim and small. 

"It had been a few months. I'd hoped I never have to call you." 

Logan exhaled. "Me too," he said. He sounded resigned. He sounded tired. 

Alec bit his lower lip. He wanted to drop down from the duct.

"In this case, no news was never going to be good news," Logan added wearily. 

"They found him in a building slated for demo. If the police hadn't been checking for squatters, they wouldn't have found him."

"At least now we know for sure."

Logan's voice was flat. Too flat. A muscle in Alec's jaw ticked.

"There's a sister in Chicago listed but I knew you were asking around so I thought—"

"Thank you."

Alec pressed his face to the vent wall. Logan didn't sound grateful.

"If it's any consolation, he didn't suffer long."

Logan's breathing was even, but Alec caught the hitch in his voice.

"You're not a good liar. I appreciate you trying, though."

"He....you have any idea who did this?"

"Yeah," Logan whispered. " _Eyes Only_ has a pretty good idea."

"Logan, I'm so sorry. I didn't know him well, but I know he was a friend of yours. He seemed to be a good man."

"He was." Logan exhaled. "Can you make me a copy of the unedited autopsy report?"

"I'll be right back."

The quiet heels abandoned Logan. Through the vent, Alec could see the edge of one wheel, Logan's shadow stretched behind the chair.

"Damn it," Logan exhaled. The wheelchair creaked. "God d-damn..." Logan audibly swallowed as a distant door opened and closed. Brisk heels returned.

"I've also sent a copy to a Detective Matthew Sung. He's been inquiring as well."

"That's good. He wanted to help."

"Logan..." The woman hesitated. Her shadow overlapped Logan's. "If you want to talk..."

"I'm all right." 

"Is there anyone you'll like me to call for you?"

"No." Logan was polite, but also resigned. "No one."

Alec flinched. 

 

The concrete scraped Alec's jeans as he silently dropped out of the vent and back into the alley. He checked the skies. No hoverdrones. He tucked the grate deeper into the pile of trash bags, just in case.

The sun was hot overhead, a yellow gemstone in the sky. Somehow, it made Alec angry, especially when he thought back to Logan's voice. Like the sun had any right to be so fricking perfect today.

Alec peered around the building. Logan was making his careful way down the ramp, eyes pinned to the ground, his arms straining as he gripped his wheels while he rolled down the steep decline. When Logan reached the sidewalk where it evened out, Alec took a deep breath and took a step forward.

"Logan?"

A young dark skinned woman with a bicycle blocked Logan's path. Before Alec could intercept the threat, Logan looked up and blinked. 

"Hey."

Alec eyed the girl, who couldn't be more than her early twenties. She was petite with tightly wound dark curls, full lips and— _not bad_ —an ass that made her jeans look like a million bucks.

His admiration, however, evaporated when she hugged Logan.

"...doing here?" Logan sounded surprised but not alarmed when she pulled back. Alec ducked back around the building.

"Got a call asking me to come down here to ID a floater." 

Logan grimaced. "I heard about her seeing you when she was released from parole. Was it Diamond?"

Alec arched an eyebrow. Diamond?

The woman's face twisted. "Thought maybe it was my boo, but it wasn't."

Logan winced. He said nothing though.

The woman looked up at the building then to Logan. "My girl hooked up and then one day up and left. Never said why. She could have got herself back in jail."

"I could try checking around," Logan offered. At the head shake, he gave her a faint smile.

The girl snorted. "Aren't you too busy trying to save the world?"

Alec tensed the same time Logan did.

"Don't worry. Max gave Original Cindy the 411 before adios-ing to Canada."

"Oh." Logan rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. "You saw Max."

Alec pressed his mouth together. He strained to hear, but a truck went by and damn it, all he caught was something about an insurance job.

"So back on the bikes then, huh?" Logan nodded to the bicycle she held by the bars. "Normal still running _Jam Pony_?"

The woman gave a short laugh. "Unfortunately. Normal is normal; downright strange."

Alec screwed up his face. What the hell kind of name was Normal?

Logan gave her a strained smile. "Sounds like him."

The two stood on the sidewalk in awkward silence.

"Screw it," the woman finally said. "I'm just going to say it." She ran a finger across the bike's dented handlebars. "When I was in there, I heard about Bling...Logan, I'm so damn sorry."

There was another hug but even from where Alec stood, he could see how tensed Logan was. 

"Thank you." Logan awkwardly patted her shoulders before she pulled away. "I should be going."

"Come by to _Crash_." The woman neatly stepped back into his path. "Everyone still hangs out there. You hear a lot, if you know what I mean. Messengers are the eyes and ears of this dump. Everybody forgets we're around when they blab out all their secrets."

"I'll keep that in mind." Logan nodded but even from here Alec could tell Logan wanted to leave. His hands clutched his rims the whole time.

"You better," the woman warned. "Max told me to keep an eye out for you. So stop changing your damn phone numbers and keep in touch."

Logan blinked when the woman stuck her hand out inches from his face. Alec bit back a smile when Logan, looking hunted, scribbled something onto a piece of paper.

The woman took it and reviewed it.

"This better be a working number," she warned.

Logan coughed and mumbled it was.

"I'll see you around." Logan made it sound like a question though. "You take care of yourself, Original Cindy."

Huh. The names were getting weirder and weirder. The name Alec was becoming the boring one.

"Damn straight. Original Cindy always looks out for her best girl; namely yours truly." Original Cindy bumped her tire against Logan's right rim. "Give _Jam Pony_ a call. I'll make sure your packages to that fancy pad of yours stay intact."

Logan laughed, strained. "Good to know." He paused. "Bye."

"I'll see you around." The woman somehow made it sound both fond and threatening. She reached down and flicked Logan's messy bangs. Alec scowled. She went one direction, Logan the other, presumably to where he left his car.

Alec bit his lower lip. He glanced at both directions. Finally, he decided to change targets and trotted after the Original Cindy woman.

 

"Hot run! Which one of you losers want to earn your paycheck this week?"

"We get _paid_? Since when?"

"...zoom! He was spinning his tires like it was—"

"You! Carter and Main! Bip, bip, bip!"

"Market Street again? Dude, if those rats shake me down once more..."

"I said hot run! Bip bip!"

Wide-eyed, Alec stood at the edge of the wide doorway where his target ducked into. It was a cramped and noisy warehouse. There were posters, old and new, plastered all over the stained concrete walls. Graffiti filled in the rest.

People in bike gear, scratched up helmets and messenger bags veered around each other with what Alec could only assume was with practice because, geez, he couldn't tell if there was a certain direction those faded painted lines on the floor represent.

There was a guy inside a caged area, a mountain of packages behind him like his horde of gold. He wore a headset over his yellow head, a large plastic ID badge around his neck and black thick rimmed glasses uglier than Logan's replacement ones. His rust colored leather blazer squeaked weirdly even from where Alec stood as he waved a package at passing cyclists through the opening of his area. He was doing a lot of yelling that was being ignored or answered with good-natured jeering. Despite that, it appeared he was the man in charge.

Alec couldn't help but stared. No one was going by with a "Yes sir" or quailed at the verbal threats the boss threw out like exhales. 

A messenger snatched the package out of boss's hands as he whizzed by, giving a chipper "Yeah yeah" when the boss hollered after him "No biking in the premises!"

"Calm down, Normal," Original Cindy drawled. Alec zeroed in on her. She changed into some bicycling gear herself. They did a way better job on her ass than her jeans. 

"You're giving yourself palpitations, honey."

"Maybe I'll feel better if I fire you again?" Normal shot back. "You! Ten ten Caldor Street. Hot run! Customer's been calling me the past forty minutes asking where the fire truck is his stuff." He tossed a crumpled boxy package covered with Fragile stickers to Original Cindy. She caught it with a scowl.

"That street is the pits. Cops stop me every block," the woman complained to a tall guy with lanky dark hair that concealed most of his face.

"Maybe because you're pretty?" her friend suggested. He got an elbow. "Ouch! Hey, I'll go with you, all right?"

"You're not paid to be an escort, Sketchy!" Normal stuck his head out of his cage and threw a tube at him. "Chinatown!"

Sketchy grimaced to her. "Sorry."

Original Cindy sighed.

As they rolled their bikes past Alec, he decided to make first contact. He cleared his throat. The two paused and gave him a curious look.

"There's a store that sells those sandwiches in a roll on Canal," Alec shrugged. "Next door is a store that's been empty for years. The door between those two is a fake. It's an alley. If no one's in there, take it. It'll take you right through into Caldor and Hudson."

"You'll just be a couple feet away." Sketchy peered over Original Cindy's shoulder at her package. He grinned toothily at Alec. "Thanks, man." 

Alec arched an eyebrow at the fist Sketchy offered. With a bemused smile, he bumped it. Sketchy made an exploding noise when their fists made contact. 

"I like shortcuts." _And less cops_ , but Alec left that part out.

Original Cindy hummed, nodding to herself as she studied Alec. Alec stared back at her as wide-eyed as possible but she didn't seem to buy it.

So it surprised the hell out of Alec when she abruptly asked, "You looking for a job?"

Alec blinked. He only wanted to find her, pour on some flirting and drinks and maybe between the sheets, coaxed out what she knew. He looked behind her. Normal was arguing into his headset. Two messengers began playing soccer with a box. The game ended when Normal stalked over and retrieved the package, muttering something about artwork, swords and gangs. The other two cheerfully flipped him off before heading out on their runs.

No one was in formation. No one was saluting. People were being yelled at, but they yelled back. 

"Sure," Alec found himself saying. "Why not?"

Original Cindy shouted over her shoulder. "Normal!"

Normal popped out his head at the opening of his domain. "Why aren't you at Caldor?"

The girl grabbed Alec by the elbow. Surprised, Alec let himself be turned as she pointed to him.

"You're hiring!" she hollered.

Normal glowered at Alec then at Original Cindy. He shouted "Get to Caldor!" and ducked back into his cage. A beat later, he stuck his head out again, this time glowering at Alec. "Are you waiting for a special invitation?" And he dropped out of sight again.

"See you at seven sharp tomorrow." Original Cindy punched Alec on the arm. "Good looking out." And before he could introduce himself, maybe wrangle a beer with her, she left with her odd friend. Sketchy kept looking back at Alec and punching the air in some sort of victory sign until Cindy slapped the back of his head to quit it.

Judging how everyone else was, Alec quickly adopted a strategy.. 

"How do you do, sir?" Alec offered politely as soon as he trotted up to the cage. He extended out his hand through the gap "I appreciate the opportunity."

"Finally, someone with manners," Normal muttered but he didn't shake Alec's hand. He gave it a wary look. Alec lowered his hand and stood at parade rest. 

"Hours seven to seven, you get three unpaid sick days, one day's pay docked for every hour you're late and if you're caught stealing our customers' packages, I call the cops no matter what's your sob story."

"Sounds reasonable," Alec replied as pleasantly as possible. But yeah, wow, _seriously_?

Normal grunted, but his beady squint through his glasses eased somewhat. "Okay then. Fill out the paperwork, Mister..." He frowned as he remembered. "I'm going to need a name, buddy."

Thinking quickly, Alec reviewed and discarded each one.

"Well?" Normal started to look cross again. Maybe that was his default face. "You got a name or not, buddy?"

A name popped up. Alec grinned. 

"Oh yeah. I got a name."

 

Three days.

Alec slowly made his way to the side of the building.

Three days. He'll stay with _Jam Pony_ for three days. It should be enough time to charm his way into this Original Cindy's pants and secrets. This was just recon. He would make a better profit sticking to his da—oops— _night_ job.

The line squeaked in his rigging when Alec halted. He stared.

His window was shut.

Alec set his jaw. All right, so it's been a few weeks. Still, the blinking red light by his shut window annoyed him. His stomach clenched. He debated kicking the window; let Logan deal with the alarms.

But then Alec saw the fireplace and the legs on the floor.

The alarm barely took a minute. Reaching Logan on the floor took less.

"Hey," Alec croaked. He half-crumpled on the floor next to Logan, lightheaded and oddly weak-kneed when he found Logan looking bleary-eyed up at him.

On the floor, bare feet extended towards the fire and still in his street clothes, Logan sat with his back propped against his couch. He stared at Alec for a long moment. His eyes lowered. He tipped the long stemmed goblet he cradled with both hands. It sparkled blood red against the fire. He drained it dry before offering a tiny, "Hey" in return. Then he fumbled for a wine bottle and refilled his glass to the top.

Alec's heart was doing some weird hammering at the base of his throat. He swallowed, but it wouldn't go away.

"Bad day at the office?" Alec asked lamely.

Logan grunted. "You could say that."

There was a lot Alec wanted to say but right now, he couldn't think of a single thing. Instead, he reached for to the bottle by the wheelchair. Another one, empty, rested against Logan's pale foot.

Alec winced. 

The bottle in his hands was nearly empty as well. Half an inch of alcohol sloshed pathetically in the bottle.

Alec scanned Logan's face, the flushed dots on his cheeks bright against the rest of his pallor. He glanced at the fire. There was a folder burning, the letters _A, U, T, O, P_ disintegrating slowly in the flames. He tested the weight of the bottle in his hands. He finished the rest of the wine. Done, he settled down next to Logan.

"You can't get drunk." Logan rolled the wine glass between his hands. 

Alec shrugged again. "There were times I wish I could."

Logan's hands shook. Alec plucked the glass out of his grip.

Alec tilted the glass towards the fire. He caught Logan's distorted reflection on the curve. He looked cold. He looked small. Yet Alec couldn't bring himself to get up to snag the fleece blanket off the wheelchair. He wiggled closer instead.

"Didn't think you were coming back," Logan mumbled. His weight rested against Alec's left shoulder then abruptly, he sat up straighter.

Alec missed the weight. He fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. "Yeah...well...I kind of got the craving for egg rolls. Got any left?"

Logan choked a laugh. "You were gone thirty two days. I think they're a lost cause now." He paused. "There may still be some in the fridge though."

Funny, Alec thought it was thirty three days. "Wait. Are you for real? I can eat almost anything but even _that_ sound gross." He glanced sideways at Logan.

"Anything else in the fridge you in the mood for?"

Logan feebly waved towards the wine bottle Alec still had in his hands.

"Uh, anything you need a fork and knife for?" 

Alec didn't wait for an answer. He grabbed the bottles and the glass and left them on the counter. He stuck his head into the fridge and—

"Dude, since when does MSG mutate that way? Is that pizza? No, I mean, _was_ that pizza? Holy shit, you weren't kidding, you got a whole bunch of furry egg ro—"

"This was my fault, you know."

Alec's mouth snapped shut but he kept his head ducked inside. He didn't want to see Logan sitting there with whatever face that came with that crumbly voice.

"If he hadn't gone back to get my file out of her office, they wouldn't have followed him and grabbed him..." Logan sucked in his breath. He ran his hands through his hair. He bowed his head, fists trembling as they clutched his hair.

"I should have gone instead. I was still able to walk a little but he didn't think I should take the chance. Damn it, I should have gone instead."

Alec swallowed. He rested his cheek on the fridge's door. 

"Then _you_ would have been in the morgue," Alec mumbled.

If Logan was shocked Alec knew, if he even heard, it wasn't clear. His breath hitched. He sighed.

"First Max. Now Bling. All they ever do is ruin lives," Logan whispered brokenly but Alec heard him loud and clear. He grimaced.

Alec closed the fridge. Silently, he dropped down to Logan's side. 

"I have to make this right." Logan stared at the fire. The folder crumpled to ash by now. His face twisted.

"I can't let his death be..." He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. 

Alec didn't know if he should say something: what or how was lost to him as well. But the look on Logan's face echoed too much when they first knew each other; when Alec was Dean and Logan was just wheelchair guy.

They sat there on the floor, the fire warm on Alec's face. He shifted, just a little, bumping shoulders. Logan tensed at first. But after a beat, he slumped against Alec.

" _I am become Death_ ," Logan whispered, head on Alec's shoulders, bleak eyes to the fire. 

Alec flinched at the whispered quote. 

The quote was Lydecker's favorite. Flashes of the footage of the trinity bomb flared behind his eyes, the glow on Lydecker's hard face as he showed the footage over and over to the tiny X-5s staring expressionlessly at the screen.

_Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds._

When Oppenheimer had translated the _Bhagavad Gita_ , the atomic bomb had flared above the sky, changed the world, tipped the scales of war and fucked up every single mind of the human race with the knowledge of just how terrible they could become.

Lydecker called the X-5s his children, his terrible, beautiful atomic bombs. He meant it as his minced version of paternal affection. It left a tacky feeling whenever Alec remembered. 

"You should all stay away from me." Logan closed his eyes against the fire's glare. Alec wondered if the light seeping through his thin eyelids show up as bomb flares.

Mouth dry, stomach twisting, Alec thought maybe saying nothing at all was the way to go. Because anything he wanted to say sounded too much like what _Lydecker_ would say; Logan wasn't a custom ordered alphabet soup baby who needed to hear how he should suck it up. He sat there, aware of Logan's heat, the sharp jut of his shoulder, the way their arms lined up together. He felt Logan swallow convulsively against his shoulder. 

"I think I'm drunk," Logan whispered.

Alec hummed. He rubbed his chin briefly against Logan's head on his shoulder. "Can I totally take advantage of you?"

"Not _that_ drunk."

"Party pooper."

Alec felt Logan sagging further against him. Then he pulled away. But it seemed his body couldn't decide if it was staying upright or not as he sat there swaying and squinting.

"Come on." Alec wrapped an arm around Logan's middle. "Want a hand?"

Logan wordlessly shook his head. He squirmed out of Alec's loose hold and shakily hauled himself up into his wheelchair. Head still down, Logan gripped his rims, but he didn't push towards the bedroom.

"Come on," Alec murmured. "You're going to have a bitch of a hangover tomorrow."

"I should get back to work."

That again. Alec glowered. "No, you don't."

Logan squeezed his eyes shut. "Alec..."

"Look, take a nap, all right?" Alec hesitated. "Um...want me to stay?"

Startled, Logan looked up at him. "You don't have to."

"Yeah, well, you owe me a meal. Your fridge should be condemned." Alec trailed behind Logan. He watched Logan transferred to his bed to change before he went back to the kitchen. He dumped the food (because, yuck) and brought back a couple of water bottles. When he returned, Logan was already in his sweats, half asleep. Alec tiptoed to the nightstand to put the bottles within reach. He carefully plucked the glasses off Logan's face.

Logan's hand reached up and curled around his wrist.

"That's why I can't let you get involved," Logan murmured, his voice slurring. "They...if they know you're still here..."

"I'm not scared of them." Alec dug his heels into the carpet. He didn't pull his hand away.

"You're not. Not enough," Logan yawned. "I wished you were." He looked different without his glasses, his eyes naked, his face exposed and breakable. 

"This world is screwed up, Alec. So many lost their lives. For me; because of me. I...I have to do something about it, make up for it..."

Alec tentatively wrapped his fingers around Logan's cool wrist. He wished it didn't feel so thin.

"Why," Alec asked, his throat tight, "do you have to be the one to fix it?"

Something flickered across Logan's face. His fingers loosened and pulled away.

Stung, Alec nodded towards the bottles on the end table. He sat down on the edge of the bed. "Take a couple of hours. Sleep it off."

Logan said nothing.

Alec quirked a smile at Logan. "Unless you _are_ drunk enough..."

A hand reached up and feebly punched Alec in the arm.

Alec patted the hand and moved it to rest on Logan's stomach. "Get some sleep. You make an ugly drunk." He paused. 

"Logan. Sorry about your friend."

Logan didn't say anything. He was already asleep.

 

_He couldn't get his feet to move any closer. He stared at the open drawer and the white cloth over it._

_A well-manicured hand with blood red fingernails reached for it._

_Don't pull it off._

_"If it's any consolation..." The white sheet slipped down the brow, revealing the smooth, lineless forehead..._

_Don't pull it off!_

_"He didn't suffer long."_

_The sheet tugged free off the vacant jade stare, the scars all over his face, the jagged slit under his thro—_

Alec started. He lay there, heaving, dizzy for air.

_"This was my fault, you know."_

Alec could still taste the coppery tang on his tongue; arterial sprays tend to splatter if he wasn't careful. Blood gets into everything.

_"I should have gone instead."_

"Alec?" 

Shuddering, Alec lifted up his heavy head. He was curled against Logan's left hip, fists gripping a handful of Logan's sweatshirt. But before that registered or that he has a raging hard on trapped in his jeans, he saw Logan squinting at him, head up from the pillow, face unmarred, body warm with life.

Alive.

"Alec, what are you doing on my bed? Are you all ri—mmpf."

Alec crawled up to Logan's mouth. Straddling his torso, Alec framed his face with both his hands and smashed his lips over his.

There was a stale yet sweet taste of wine when Logan gasped. Alec dove in _,_ fingers cradling Logan's face, tongue darting in, demanding, begging, wanting...

_Alivealivealive._

There was a brief struggle before Logan's mouth softened against his, body sinking into the bed under both their weights.

_Alivealivealive._

Alec greedily drank him in, tasting and licking into the wet heat of Logan's mouth. His knees bracketed either side of a chest frantically expanding in and out. Logan's right hand weakly pushed at his chest before clawing Alec's shirt, pulling him in instead.

Growling into Logan's mouth, Alec arched against Logan's body, his erection painful trapped in his jeans. He rutted against Logan, seeking friction. His hands frantically roamed over Logan's jaw, his nose, the strong line of his throat. All whispering _alivealivealive_ with each stroke. His searching fingers felt warmth and the sharp pinpricks of stubble. His mouth swallowed Logan's moans. Long lashes brushed against Alec's cheek, revealing a spark behind forest green eyes.

Alec made a sound in the back of his throat. He pressed burning eyes into the roughness of Logan's throat.

"Sh, it's all right..."

But it wasn't all right because Logan said it should have been him and he was going off to bad places alone and he was _Eyes Only_ and he was Logan and...

Hands gripped him by the shoulders. Alec crowded in, humping frantically, devouring, mouth hungrily suckling wet velvet of tongue, tasting coffee, wine and...

And Logan.

_Shit!_

Alec sprang off the bed backwards with a yelp. He crashed into Logan's wheelchair, his left foot tangled with its front wheel. He fell on his ass so hard, his knees rattled.

"Are you all right?"

Alec blinked up, his eyes tearing. A watery and very disheveled looking Logan sat up, staring at him over the edge of the bed.

"Shouldn't I ask _you_ that?" Alec croaked. He extricated himself from the wheelchair and righted it. He ran his hands over the joints and wheels. 

"I think you were having a nightmare," Logan said. He sounded as shaky as Alec felt.

"Me?" Alec looked up. He hastily looked away from Logan's shirt, one button missing, rucked up almost under his arms. His torso was flushed, stomach reddened from the rough texture of Alec's jeans.

Alec coughed, "I uh, you, um..." He gestured towards Logan's general direction. His ears burned as he listened to Logan straightening his clothes. Luckily, Alec was on top of the blankets over Logan's legs, otherwise Logan's top wouldn't be the only thing that needed straightening.

"You were muttering, talking in your sleep." Logan exhaled. "I tried to wake you but probably startled you instead because you, ah..."

 _Started kissing you_ , Alec supplied. His ears burned. 

"You were saying 'alive, alive'," Logan offered gently and that made Alec feel worse. "Guess you thought I was someone else." Logan laughed awkwardly.

"What if I wasn't?" 

Logan stopped laughing. "What?"

There was a tiny dent on the brake bar. Alec switched it on and off, testing its grip.

"Alec," Logan tried falteringly. "What did you mea—"

"I think your chair's okay." Alec slapped his hands on his thighs. He stayed crouched; his erection was still pressing against his zipper. 

"Alec—"

"How's the hangover?"

There was a pause. Logan grimaced. He groaned and sagged back into the bed. He folded fists over his eyes.

Alec winced. "That bad, huh? I'm glad I can't get drunk." He stood on his knees by the bed. "What's it feel like?"

"Like a truck repeatedly ran over my head before parking on top of it." 

"Ye-ouch." Alec patted Logan on the shoulder. "Sucks to be you."

"Everything's a blur," Logan muttered. "I don't even remember when you came in."

Alec froze. "Yeah?"

Logan lowered his fists. His eyes were bloodshot when they traveled over Alec's face. "When _did_ you come in?"

 _Why_ hung unsaid between them.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Alec crooked a smirk at him. "I thought I'd drop by and say hey. Found you gawking at the fireplace." His face felt strange when he grinned. "You did not make a pretty drunk. You were all octopus hands too, you tease."

"Did I say anything?" Logan croaked.

"Loads of stuff," Alec quipped. His smirk faded at the panic flashing across Logan's face. 

Alec's eyebrows cranked up and down. "You were telling me poetry, how my eyes sparkled in the firelight, how my ass was hard like ro—"

A pillow bopped Alec on the chin. 

Alec snickered. "Nah, man. You just sat there all mopey and broody. Very drama queen like. Kind of like that Heathcliff guy in one of your angsty books." He sobered. "You were pretty out of it." 

Logan searched Alec's face. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Bad day."

"Looked like it." Ice lumped in Alec's chest. He cracked a faint smile. His hands squeezed together in his lap. 

"You need to stay hydrated," Alec told him. The smile on his face felt like it was going to crack into something darker. His jaw clenched so he wouldn't be shouting.

"There's a bunch of water here." Alec's head jerked towards the nightstand. "Maybe some breakfast too?" 

At Logan's gulp, Alec smirked. "Maybe not." 

Logan ruefully patted his stomach. "I don't think I'm in the mood to eat."

"You never are," Alec muttered darkly.

"What?"

"Nothing." Alec pursed his lips.

"So what _was_ the bender for?"

A shadow passed over Logan's face. 

"Bad day at the office," Logan whispered. He looked pained as he shut his eyes briefly. "I screwed up."

Alec wanted to curl up against Logan again. He wanted to feel the heavy weight of Logan's head on his shoulder again. 

He didn't want to _hear_ Logan like that again.

Alec hesitantly rubbed his thumb over Logan's closest hand, ironing out the chill just under Logan's skin.

"I would say sorry," Alec said quietly, "if you'll just let me know what it's all about. But I get you don't want to."

Logan's throat worked. "Not want; can't."

Alec pressed his thumb down on the back of Logan's hand and watched the white spot flushed pink with life.

"You _think_ you can't," Alec mumbled. He felt Logan's gaze on him. Alec stretched his lips to a strained smile. "Yeah. I get it. Need to know. Not _want_ to know." He got to his feet and bent over Logan. Carefully, under Logan's wide-eyed gaze, Alec brushed his mouth over the corner of Logan's mouth. He felt Logan's startled exhale on his cheek.

"Alec..." Logan choked. "Why did you..."

"I'm pretty sure you're sick and tired of people saying sorry to you all the time," Alec spoke over Logan. "Saying sorry doesn't fix anything." He flicked Logan's bangs like Cindy did. He smoothed the mess over, his thumb lingering to brush over a smudge under his eye. 

Logan stared.

"I can give you better than that," Alec whispered. He leaned in and kissed the corner of Logan's eye. "I can make you feel better if you'll let me. No 'I'm sorry', no 'if you need to talk'. None of that bullshit."

Logan curled a trembling hand into Alec's shirt. His fingers clawed worn cotton. He shook when Alec nipped the swept of his brow, tongued the curve of his cheekbone, nosed the fragile silken skin of his temples.

The fist on Alec's shirt tugged then splayed on Alec's chest.

"No. I shouldn't let you do this." Logan sat up, his hand on Alec's chest like he was warding off a big dog. "Alec, stop. Thank you, but you don't have to do this. This is too generous of you."

Alec's stomach knotted but he smiled wanly. "Like I said: I'm a saint."

A tired smile flickered in return. "And like _I_ said: modest." Logan's hand lowered.

The absence of Logan's hand left an ache in Alec's chest he didn't expect. He rubbed at the hollowness absently.

Logan's brow knitted as he studied Alec. 

"I gotta blaze," Alec said reluctantly. He got to his feet. His erection pretty much deflated at this point, but the fluttering in his throat still demanded to be let out. He wasn't sure if it'll come out as a demanding kiss or a rush of questions he knew Logan wouldn't answer. His jaw ached from clenching to dam the unknown tide.

"Drink the water, okay?"

"Alec..."

Logan propped himself on his elbows now. His eyes, more alert, were glued to Alec. 

"Are you all right?"

Alec wanted to fire the question back at Logan. He shrugged.

"Bad dream." Alec checked his watch. He blanched. Crap, he really did need to blaze.

"I'll see you later, okay?" Alec said hastily.

"Sure," Logan said slowly.

Alec hesitated. He sat back down on the bed edge again.

"No more benders, all right?" 

"No more benders," Logan promised hoarsely. His hand lifted towards Alec. It dropped before it reached Alec though. "Thanks, Alec."

"Sure." Alec murmured. He opened his mouth but closed it again. "I'll see you."

"See you," Logan echoed but Alec was already climbing out the living room window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(hangs head)_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Bling's my favorite but to shape Logan's cost and steer him to where he is now, there needed to be a cost that didn't only include Max's departure from "Blah Blah Woof Woof". 
> 
> I gave it hard thought (hence why the six month delay to this fic) and realized it needed to be really personal for Logan, yet not a huge ramifications to canon like killing Matt Sung because yes, I debated him, too. 
> 
> A moment of silence for Bling, please...:(


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers: minor references to the first season.

Blank was staring again.

"Hey!" Alec barked and the perv jumped. The thick bike chain the scrawny messenger wore across his narrow shoulders jangled. 

"What the hell you think you're doing?" Still half way in his olive green t-shirt, Alec hurriedly wrapped the scarf around his neck and straightened down his shirt with a yank. He stomped over from the guys' side of the locker room to its entrance. The short jerk just smirked; he scratched with the back of his knuckles a naked lady tat that ran down the side of his throat. 

"Better stick your eyes back into that tiny skull of yours, Blank," Cindy snapped as she came out from the women's rows of lockers. She tucked in her black rider top into her biker shorts. She glowered at him. Other female messengers called out names. "Original Cindy doesn't put on shows."

"But you're so the bomb," Blank leered.

Alec stepped into his space.

"How would you like it if I go _kaboom_ on your tiny dick?" Alec smiled thinly at him. He dropped a hand on Blank's shoulder and squeezed.

Blank gulped. He turned as white as his bleached bangs and scurried away.

"Creep." Cindy nudged Alec with her foot as she tugged her bike out. She shot Blank a dirty look from afar. "I didn't see him this time. Thanks, Newbie."

Alec smirked. "Actually, I thought he was peeping at _me_." For one breathless moment, Alec thought Blank might have been a past Fifty or worse, a gross Twenty, from his previous place of employment.

Cindy rolled her eyes. She snapped her gum and poked him in the chest. "You're not _that_ pretty."

Alec beamed. "You think I'm pretty?" 

Cindy scoffed. "You're all right."

"All right enough to buy me a drink?" Alec wheedled. 

"Buy _you_ a drink?" Cindy bumped fists with Sketchy when he walked by. "Now why would Original Cindy waste her hard earned cash to buy you a drink?"

"It's my fifth day here," Alec reminded Original Cindy. Alec wasn't sure why Cindy kept referring to herself as a third person, but if she wanted to refer to herself as a third person to the party, fine. He wanted information, not a bestie gal pal. 

Alec flashed a toothy grin at her. "We should celebrate. What say I buy _you_ a beer then?" 

Cindy didn't look impressed so Alec switched gears. He pulled back his smile to a smaller one. He stuck his hands into his pockets.

"You got me this gig." Alec shrugged. He forced himself to lower his eyes. _Not too much, X-494._ He peered up at Cindy. "Figured I at least owe you a beer."

Sure enough, Original Cindy's eyes softened to a warm mocha. Her mouth crooked into a gentle smirk. She lightly punched him on his shoulder.

"You don't owe me anything," Cindy murmured and sauntered away to argue with Normal as usual about whatever route he was going to give her. 

Damn it. Alec bit back the scowl that wanted to break through. 

Veering around bikes and messengers, Alec went back to his locker. He did a quick sweep of its contents for anything suspicious before continuing to dress. He shrugged into a hooded jacket that'll keep his scarf in place if he needed to run to his next delivery. He frowned, deep in thought.

This was the third time his target shot down Alec. He was going to have to adjust his timeline again. Manticore had hammered into him how to extract from a target. Male or female; it didn't matter even if it did to Alec.

Unfortunately, Original Cindy and her friends didn't follow the Manticore manual. Alec didn't catch them looking at him with a calculating eye, nor did they seem to want to cash in their favors for getting Alec his job. 

Sketchy seemed genuinely happy to work at _Jam Pony_. _Weirdo_. The lanky messenger with non regulation length black hair was glad to share gossip for free. It was more about their customers than about each other though. Alec had dropped a few suggestive hints, but the guy reacted more freaked out than intrigued. 

Alec determined Sketchy wasn't interested when he caught him staring at a woman's generous chest when they waited in line for cheap beef ( _maybe_ ) tacos in-between hot runs. So building a connection to his target that way was out. Alec was inexplicately relieved about that, even if it meant he was left with going the long route in currying any sort of relationship with the guy, in turn, his target. And Sketchy wouldn't make a good asset; he didn't act like he knew Logan. He appeared to be a fan of _Eyes Only_ but unless Sketchy was that good of an actor, he didn't act like he knew the real identity each time a hack came on. 

"...come on. Two tickets?" Sketchy flashed a broad grin at one of the veteran messengers, Cycle. He ignored Normal's glare behind him. "I have those boots you wanted. I want to trade your tickets for a toaster."

"Thought you wanted a new jacket?"

Sketchy's grin was blinding. "Guy wants a toaster for it."

Alec scoffed to himself. Then again, Sketchy might be useful for other things. He heard the messenger was resourceful in getting stuff. Sketchy was the master barterer in this sector.

"...and the brilliance can be absorbed, you know, man? Like oxygen and karma cohabitating in the wonderfulness of our 'verse." Herbal gestured to Cindy and waggled his dark fingers above her head like he was sprinkling salt.

"Herbal, Original Cindy's brilliant but even _she_ can't absorb what you just said."

Another messenger associated with Cindy. It didn't seem like Herbal knew Logan but he looked to be pretty close to his target. 

Alec figured Herbal just liked having a listening ear to nod along to his philosophies and swap fist bumps with. He was apparently down about a former cellmate of his who died pretty soon after his early release. Too bad his thick Jamaican accent blocked most from understanding. It was a good opening though; playing sympathetic "Aw, how ya doing, little buddy?" always worked better than a handshake. 

"Does anyone remember what a hot run is?" Normal hollered as he chucked a package at a random passing messenger. 

Despite being their supervisor, Normal appeared clueless about everybody. Alec heard Normal's been more uptight about the deliveries ever since some mix-up that had him sweating in a gangster's pad for hours until the police got an anonymous tip about a murder and busted in. 

"I said no riding on premises! Those are our customers' packages not hockey pucks!"

Although it was hard to imagine Normal _ever_ being laid back.

Alec slung his black messenger bag over his shoulder. Even being respectful and consistently on-time for work, Normal wasn't singing his praises. Whatever had happened then pretty much wove in the grouchy DNA permanently into Normal's bones.

"O.C, so what about the run? Trade with me? Or at least get her number?" Sketchy kept darting left and right in front of Original Cindy, trying to cajole her into something.

"Original Cindy has her own damn business to worry about than playing cupid for you, Sketchy."

Original Cindy apparently didn't find Alec enticing enough for a beer and a quick roll in bed. Often, she seemed amused by Alec, which doesn't help her spill whatever she knows to Alec. She was okay with the flirting, but she didn't flirt back. Playing little Orphan Alec made her soften some, but only to her casually inviting him along to _Crash_ with the others. 

Her place in the next sector offered no clues either. Alec scowled as he tracked her wagging a finger at Herbal. She lived in a partially constructed building like most of the working slobs in Seattle. She used to have some roommate named Kendra before she married someone she was translating for. She didn't have any family anywhere. No angle, no relations, nothing. 

Alec sighed as he turned back to his locker. He made a face at the neon green logo branded on his bag. At least he was collecting some interesting leads to ripe homes. And the temporary messenger id card was letting him come and go from sector to sector. No more sneaking in; he would flash a badge at the sector cops and let in without a second glance. Pretty sweet. 

Still, as soon as Alec get everything Cindy knew about Logan Cale, he was ditching the low paying job and go back to more lucrative high-rises and penthouses.

"...ten bucks say he can pull the phone number in sixty seconds!"

"Yeah? She used to do it in less!"

"...keeps shaking me down for more rent money..."

"Four Munson Lane! Hot run!"

"They're all hot runs!"

"That's because you losers never go when I first tell you to! Bip, bip, bip!"

The chatter around him was a surprisingly pleasant white noise. Instead of the drill alarms, whistles and Lydecker's stupid stopwatch, _Jam Pony_ was a cacophony of people shouting out of turn, laughter and the rickety whir of bicycle wheels. The barracks would never have allowed this. Hell, the X-5s would have stood at attention by their racks the moment Normal raised his voice. 

Alec smirked into his locker as he grabbed the rest of his gear. His grin contorted into a glower when he turned around and found Blank staring at Cindy's ass again. He stalked forward a step. 

Blank tripped over Herbal's bike when he scrambled back. Herbal made a face and shoved him away.

"No fighting! Take it outside!" Normal shouted. "Our insurance doesn't cover stupidity!"

"We have insurance?" a messenger mockingly exclaimed.

Alec found himself grinning again as he readjusted his dopey _Jam Pony_ messenger bag across his shoulders and clipped on his badge.

"New guy!" A package sailed neatly into Alec's waiting hands. For a guy hiding out in a cage, Normal's aim was good.

"Yes, sir!" Alec greeted jovially. "And good morning to you!"

Normal always looked at Alec like he wasn't sure if he was joking or not. "Where's your bike?"

Alec raised his eyebrows. "Don't need one. I'm a fast sprinter. And I know all the shortcuts. Haven't been late so far." 

"I told you. I was going to make an exception for three days. Your three days were up. No bike, no job." Normal squinted at his badge. "And you still have to take your employee photo for that badge, too." He leaned further out of his cage. "Sketchy! Bring out your camera!"

"I charge extra," Sketchy complained as he trotted over with a beat-up black duffle bag. "This is not part of my job description."

Normal glowered. "How about I don't fire you this week?"

"That's amenable." Sketchy hefted up his dented, paint streaked SLR camera with both hands and a grin. "Who's my victim?"

Normal jerked his head towards Alec. "I want no poses, no funny faces, none of that artistic interpretation crap again. Just take his picture."

"I'm a budding photojournalist," Sketchy explained. "I can make anyone photogenic." He gestured to the back of the locker room towards the only patch of wall was clear of flyers, posters and vandalism. Someone had drawn a chalk outline on the ground that looked like a death pose and something out of _Kama_ _Sutra_.

Lump in his throat, Alec hesitated behind Sketchy. The bottom fell out of Alec's stomach. It had been cold enough for his scarf. Alec had hoped no one would remember until he found a new tattoo guy. 

"Come on," Normal barked. He gestured through his cage and shooed Alec on. "All employees must carry photo IDs."

"Stand there over the scene of the crime," Sketchy instructed as he took his time setting up a tripod. He squinted critically through his lens before screwing it on. He flipped out a piece of cloth and polished the lens.

"I just want a photo!" Normal hollered.

Sketchy sighed. "You're not supposed to rush genius."

"I'm not! I'm rushing you!"

Sketchy frowned at Alec. "What do you need your scarf on? Take it off."

"The magic words," Alec joked weakly as he slowly unraveled the scarf from his neck with numb fingers. He fought back a shiver. A chill settled on his exposed neck.

The scarf hung limply in his white knuckled grasp. Alec stood with his back against the wall, knees locked, spine ramrod stiff.

"You look like you're in front of a firing squad," Sketchy complained. "And the lighting's all weird. Step forward a bit."

Alec's fingers slipped into the unraveling strands of the knitted scarf. Yarn wrapped around his index finger. 

Jaw clenched, Alec dragged himself forward a step. His knees ached when he was done.

Sketchy dropped behind the camera. He popped out again and framed Alec with his index fingers and thumbs. He hummed. He peered through them at Alec.

"Show me contemplative," Sketchy plead.

Alec pursed his lips.

"No, that's _constipated_."

Alec wanted to grab the camera from Sketchy and show him _concussed_.

"Can you stop looking like a zombie?" Sketchy grimaced. "You're a happy employee of our fine establishment. You're not representing. Come closer too. Your shadow is messing up the shot."

"Sketchy." Cindy came out of nowhere from behind Alec's right. Alec twitched. 

Original Cindy flicked a look at Alec. She pursed her lips and folded her arms in front of her. She redirected her frown to Sketchy. "Just take the shot."

"No appreciation for the arts," Sketchy mourned. "I just want a little acknowledgment of my skills."

"How about Original Cindy acknowledges you with a fist?"

"Say cheese," Sketch said hurriedly as he ducked back behind his camera. 

Alec did nothing of the sort. He just grinned, jaw aching until he was done. As soon as he heard the camera go off, Alec wrapped the scarf around his throat again. He ignored how his fingers shook from the cold as he took care to tuck the scarf ends into his neckline. He swallowed when he realized there was a hole large enough for three fingers. He briefly wondered if Mrs. Moreno knitted more scarves for Logan; the guy didn't need them.

"Want a copy when I'm done?" Sketchy ordered magnanimously. 

"Sure," Alec managed with what he hoped wasn't too weird of a grin. "Couple of wallet sizes to give out."

Original Cindy scoffed. She patted Alec on the shoulder for some reason. Alec squinted at her, but she only shrugged. Whatever. He zipped up his hoodie to his throat.

"Back to work," Alec mumbled as he left.

Normal stopped Alec as he headed for the door.

"Hold up, buddy."

Alec arched an eyebrow at the disgruntled dispatcher. "Thought you said it was a hot run?"

"Only if you're on a bike." Normal scowled—did his face do anything else? "No bike, no job. Rules are rules."

Normally, getting a bike wouldn't be a problem, but _Jam Pony_ took up his day and plucking out leads from following Logan at night left him no time to make extra cash. Unless he gave up that pesky sleeping habit. And he wasn't touching his tattoo fund. _Hell_ , no. He'll skip a few more meals before he did that.

"He could use Max's wheels," Original Cindy said out of the blue. She wasn't smiling, smirking or rolling her eyes. She looked at Alec solemnly and _that_ freaked him out. 

"Not like Max is using it anymore." Cindy nodded to the gunmetal chrome bicycle Sketchy rolled out with a flourish of "Tada" hands. "Been holding it here, in case Max comes back." Something flicked across her face. "Might as well give it to the Newbie."

Alec narrowed his eyes. "How much?"

Cindy shrugged. "I'll think of something." At Alec's eyebrow, her frown came back, "Not _that_." She slapped him in the arm.

"What are you still doing here?" Normal bounced a wadded up antiquated sexual harassment pamphlet off Alec's nose. "Hot run! Get some gear and go!"

Alec caught the spare helmet Herbal tossed over and went. It was a hot run after all.

 

"Two more! Two more!"

"No way! Five bucks says—"

"I'm telling you! All the way to the left!"

Alec swirled the beer in his mug to cover his surveillance. Original Cindy, Herbal and Sketchy seemed to favor _Crash_ after work. He's been here once before; it was friendlier than other bars. It was an exposed brick, neon sign flashing sort of place. No one noticed newcomers suspiciously and it felt like the _Jam Pony_ messengers does a mass exodus to the bar nightly immediately after work. The bar sounded like work, minus Normal's hollering.

"...so I was telling him if you're that worried about your package..."

"...came to sign for the receipt naked, man! If he were a looker, I wouldn't have minded the chains..."

Alec sat with his back to the wall by the darkest corner of the bar. He surveyed the rest of the patrons over the rim of his mug. He occasionally flicked an eye towards the three exits, making sure they were still clear. Otherwise, he would need to reposition. 

The bar's customers were mostly messengers, day laborers and people interested in playing pool for money. Judging the friendly nods the bartenders gave to the incoming, the people in the bar were mostly regulars.

Herbal and Sketchy were by the bar counter with a bartender. There were a lot of hand gestures going on, but from what Alec could figure out, they were placing bets on the bicyclist balanced one wheel on top of the table in the central pits that served as a staging area for whoever was drunk enough to put on a show. They must have won because the stunt rider bounced three times on the front wheel, spun and neatly somersaulted down. Not bad. Alec checked if he could see a bar code on the neck, just in case. Seeing nothing, Alec clapped with the others, even offered a whistle because yea, the guy didn't get it out of any test tube.

Alec shrugged into the folds of his scarf. He watched the others as they hooted, elbowed and laughed. It would be so easy to take their money, do a couple of upside down wheelies with his borrowed ride, but he could imagine the shit flying if his scarf unraveled or a bitter loser protests too loudly about his skills. He observed the next stunt, noted the flaws and nodded to himself when the guy inevitably failed. He blinked when the others clapped anyway. The dude exchanged a high five with the next rider. That guy flubbed it because he was laughing too hard, but his second try at his stunt earned him a few hoots.

Absently, Alec tucked a woolen loop deeper into his neckline. He redirected his eyes towards his target and her buddies like he was supposed to.

If anyone knew the ongoings in his target's business, it would be Sketchy and Herbal. Cindy knew this Max fellow close enough to keep his ride around, friendly enough to promise to keep an eye on Logan. And the two male messengers, while giving no indication they were intimate with each other, they were still close.

Ten days.

Alec moved his timeline to ten. Cindy was hard to catch alone and the moment he sets foot into _Jam Pony_ , Normal has him right back out again on another "hot run." 

While Cindy had joked to Logan she would deliver his packages untampered, it didn't seem like she made it a point to take them whenever his address is bellowed out. Alec perked up when he heard Logan's address and sometimes Cindy would grab it, but she didn't go out of her way to get it.

Alec took a sip of lukewarm beer. He raised his eyebrows as he pulled the mug back to stare at the amber contents. Huh. Real beer. Not watered down and they were still giving out free peanuts. He popped one in his mouth and rolled the salty bit inside with his tongue.

He hasn't been back to Logan's penthouse sinc—no, he wasn't going to calculate how long. It wasn't like they had a schedule or anything. Alec could come and go as he pleases and if he didn't want to go back to that gloomy face, Alec was all the better for it because he was tired of talking to that self-sacrificing brick wall—

_"...cannot be hack, cannot be..."_

"Hey, it's him!" someone called out.

Alec's eyes snapped up to the television above the bar. Everyone, in fact, stopped and Sketchy even hopped up on the counter to bring the volume up. No one complained.

Black and white eyes stared back through the screen. 

_"...make his money off the backs of those just trying to survive. Unpaid, overworked, Bronck has promised..."_

Bronck again. Alec could imagine Logan sitting in his wheelchair, the glass partitions closed around him, the dull hum of his white noise generators drowning out the outside and muffling his existence inside.

His throat ached. Alec wondered if Logan found that stupid tiny laptop of his yet. Or did he just buy another? He probably just bought another. He was loaded; seemed like a thing a rich guy would do. 

The _Eyes Only_ broadcast was winding down with a few photos and embarrassing video that left some snickering, but left Alec fuming because he knew based on the angles how close the idiot must have gotten to get those.

Nevertheless, Alec couldn't help but grin when others cheered instead of cursing. Guess there were still some people who appreciated what Logan was doing.

"What got you in a good mood?"

Alec squashed down the twitch to jump because, damn it, he didn't hear Cindy come up. 

"Them." Alec shrugged. "Normally, people are throwing shoes and words at the guy." He waved towards the television. There was a pang in his chest when he noticed the hack was over. 

Cindy knew what he meant though. "Guy's just trying to help the people out. Can't get angry about that. We working slobs see that. No one else is bothering to help us."

"Wonder who helps him," Alec muttered darkly.

"What?"

"Nothing." Alec raised his glass. "Buy you a beer? For the bike?"

Cindy gave him a searching look. She nodded. "Sure, sugar." 

To Alec's amusement, she whistled shrilly to the barkeep and pointed to Alec's drink. The bartender shouted back an affirmative.

"Why aren't you out there?" Cindy asked, nodding towards the pit. "The pot's good this evening." She slid into her seat opposite Alec. She beamed at the waitress who sauntered by with her drink.

Alec shrugged. "I ride the bikes. That's all. Nothing to bet money against."

"I think you would clean up," Cindy murmured as she drank her beer.

Alec's heart hammered. "Oh? Why's that?"

Original Cindy studied him. After a beat, after Alec debated taking the exit to his five o'clock, she smirked.

"Because half the audience's female today."

Alec covered his relief with a dramatic groan. "Aw, I could have gotten sympathy bets or at least some phone numbers!"

Cindy scoffed. "And to think I thought you sat here because you were shy."

"Was that why you came over? To keep lonely me company?" Alec batted his eyes and got a crumpled napkin for it.

Original Cindy rolled her eyes. "You get out of there and you wouldn't need Original Cindy to watch your ass."

"But then I wouldn't have you here," Alec whined. 

Cindy smugly drank her beer. When someone shouted, she twisted around to cheer the next stunt. It didn't work. She jeered, but the rider laughed in return and hollered someone needed to buy him a beer, damn it. Someone did.

"What?" Cindy asked as she sat back down.

Alec realized he was grinning like a fool again, like the few times he caught himself doing at _Jam Pony_. "Nothing. You guys are..." Alec shrugged. "Weird. You know?"

Cindy snorted and took a long draught.

Alec waited until she was done. He nudged the full peanut bowl over and cleared his throat meaningfully. " _So..._ you and Max, huh? You were holding the bike. Guess you two were pretty tight?"

A shadow flickered across her face. "You could say that." She shot him a look. "You would have liked Max. You two got a lot in common."

Unless Original Cindy referred to breaking into Logan's penthouse and the custom DNA soup, Alec doubted it. Alec pulled his mug to his face.

"So where did Max go? How come you got the bike? Is Max coming back?"

Cindy narrowed her gaze. "Why you want to know?"

Alec shrugged. He made a point to lean back into his seat with an air of indifference.

"It's a sweet ride but I gotta know when my lease is up so I can get myself a new one."

Another shadow. Cindy tried to cover it with a drink.

"Max isn't coming back," Alec guessed. He grimaced. "Sorry. You two were close?"

"I thought so." Cindy sighed. "But no one can stay in one place forever."

Alec's throat worked. "Yeah, guess you're right." He cleared his throat. "Found a better job?"

Cindy burst out laughing, "What's better than _Jam Pony_?"

"Uh, everywhere else?" Alec grinned.

"Trust me, there are a few places worst than _Jam_."

"Worst than Normal?" Alec made a show of clutching his chest. Cindy bounced a peanut off his shoulder.

"Try selling insurance for a few days." Shuddering, Cindy made a face. "Nasty gig: calling people to get them to buy insurance on what they hope would never happen." At Alec's eyebrow, she added, "You're paying in case you get an arm or a leg missing so they'll pay up."

Alec screwed up his face. When she put it that way, it did sound screwy.

"But no, not a better job. Just couldn't stay here. Found a chance to leave so..." Cindy shrugged. Her shoulders were still tensed when she rose to her feet. "Thanks for the beer, Newbie."

"You're leaving?" Alec whined. His head spun with the rest of the questions he still needed to ask. "I thought you were keeping me company?" He grinned cheekily. "You can have my nuts." 

Cindy scoffed and to Alec's dismay, merely ruffled his hair when she left.

Alec turned to watch her leave, one hand smoothing back his hair. Original Cindy was definitely hard to pin. He thought back to what she said about Max, which wasn't much. He ran his thumb across his lower lip. 

Maybe there were employee records on file for this Max guy.

 

The roof looked exactly the same. 

Alec sat with his back to the ledge. Mrs. Moreno was watching Chinese hockey again. The strains of Mandarin floated up to the roof. He listened as he thumbed through the applications.

 _Jam Pony's_ security system was a joke. Alec got in through the back door that wasn't even wired into the alarms. The packages were locked in a caged area, guarded by a padlock. Just a padlock. 

The paperwork was even sadder. Alec found his own paperwork misfiled and stuffed between two piles of outgoing deliveries. Max's was nowhere to be found, but there were a few pay stubs for the guy and a few others which also had applications missing. 

"You probably would have a hissy fit if you saw their setup, Heather," Alec muttered to the night air, to no one in particular. The faint screaming from Mrs. Moreno's television replied in a fit of foreign syllables. "Seriously, I found someone's _lunch_ in the Out tray. It would have been funnier if it weren't so gross."

Alec wrote down names, date of births and addresses of anyone who even said hello to Original Cindy. There were two applications for her. The latest form, she had added under _Experience_ a brief stint in life insurance in a company Alec knew went belly up. He read through others, but other than listing former employment or addresses, Alec found himself knowing less.

"Date of birth, ' _wouldn't you like to know?'_ " Alec complained. "Geez, some of these people are more paranoid than you."

Mrs. Moreno's television cursed in Mandarin in response.

Alec grunted. The sports announcer was right, for once; the forward was pathetic. He snickered when he heard Mrs. Moreno's squeaky reply to the screen. 

"You tell him, Mrs. Moreno," Alec murmured, smiling as he flipped to memorize the next application. " _Handles_ Stone? This guy has a better porn name than you, Heath—holy shit, it's a _girl_!"

As night stretched, Seattle's lights faded one by one, whether by the rolling brown outs or it was simply bedtime. Alec scanned each form while he ran a commentary towards the direction of a certain window below. It was easy to pretend Mrs. Moreno's television was replying in Logan's place. 

When Mrs. Moreno finally went to bed, Alec's observations started to feel too much like a monologue so he stopped.

Sighing, Alec rolled up the applications. As crappy _Jam Pony's_ systems were, someone was bound to notice a stack of thirty or forty forms missing. He peered down the building to bid Mrs. Moreno good night. He paused.  
Logan's light was still on.

Alec glared down to the floor below Mrs. Moreno. He checked over his shoulder. The rigging was still by the ledge, next to the smokestack. No one deemed it necessary to check this section of the roof. 

Alec frowned. 

Come to think of it, anyone could come up here and maybe break into Mrs. Moreno's skylight and access Logan's as well. The CCTV cameras were broken long before Alec left a bag of gear and a bedroll up here. Yet no one noticed or bothered to check.

Alec circled the two skylights in question. The pyramid-shaped windows looked like gemstones on the roof. He toed the narrow bars that wrapped around the borders. He grunted.

Mrs. Moreno's looked rusty with wear. One of the screws popped up the moment Alec's boot poked its frame. He picked up the screw as it rolled away. He tried to pop it back in; it wouldn't stay.

Logan's was warped from the last time Alec pried out the frame to drop in. Light shone up from the skylight, a beacon for robbers to come in.Alec could see Logan's shadow as his chair crossed under the skylight several times as he watched. It didn't look like Logan was going to bed any time soon. Guess being a superhero requires overtime.

The rigging snarled in his grip as Alec untangled the coils. He paused halfway from buckling in. He peered over the building again. He looked down at his lines. He thought of how Logan looked when Alec had kissed him. He thought of how his stomach clenched when Logan placed a hand on him and gently pushed Alec away.

The ropes fluttered unchecked to the concrete. 

Alec stayed on the roof until the floor below finally darkened. He stared hard to see if from this angle, he could make out the red light of the alarm. Of course, he couldn't, not from here, but there was no point rappeling down to check either. Besides, maybe Logan was going to bed. Saving the world was on hold for another day.

Chin resting on his clasped hands, Alec stayed long enough for the morning frost to collect on his scarf before he could bring himself to leave.

 

At least it wasn't about Bronck again.

_"...three early released convicts killed..."_

Alec listened to Mrs. Moreno's television as he worked. For three nights, it was all about Bronck, blah, blah, woof, woof. It was refreshing to hear a different hack tonight, even if it was just a rehash of a yet-to-be-solved mystery. 

_"...paid their debt to society and earned their right to be part of it again..."_

Alec soldiered in the main frame around Mrs. Moreno's skylight until it was flush against the glass like it should have been. He frowned when his keen sight zeroed in on tiny scratches on the screws. Someone had tried before. Crap. He ran the blue flame over the hash marks and melted the screw heads. He added a hidden hinge, not visible to the naked eye, but if needed, Alec could flip the skylight open with an allen key in a certain spot and drop in (literally) for a quick pay day.

_"...no evidence, no witnesses. Consider this a warning for those returning after paying your dues. You're in danger..."_

Alec arched an eyebrow as he examined Logan's skylight and the similar frame cooling in the night air. He didn't think Logan would pop in with "The sky is falling" hack without enough to back it up, but he supposed after weeks of flimsy evidence from Matt Sung, Logan had to do something.

Logan's frame still looked a little bent out of shape. Alec ignited the blowtorch he _borrowed_ from building maintenance and coaxed the metal closer to the window. The gap was large enough to slip half an ounce of C4 to enforce entry. Never mind the fact only a tiny acrobat or a flexible X-5 can squirm through the skylights that littered the staggered levels of the roof.

_"Peace out..."_

Alec glanced towards the ledge when Logan's transmission ended. Mrs. Moreno went right back to her hockey. The night air filled with tinny cheering again.

Sighing, Alec lowered the tool and studied the two skylights. He turned back towards the edge. He peered over it. Logan's light was off. A check through the skylight. The lights were off under the portal as well. 

Alec shrugged towards the rigging by the ledge. Bedtime for vigilante cyber-journalist superheroes.

After one last check, Alec saluted Logan's skylight. He blew a kiss towards Mrs. Moreno's and left to return the torch before someone sounded their pathetic alarms.

 

"I'll take that."

Alec neatly intercepted the receipt Normal flapped towards Original Cindy through the opening of his caged office.

"Fine," Normal grumbled as he stepped back into his cave. Already, he was calling out a new hot run.

Shrewd dark eyes bore through Alec's cheeky grin. Alec fought the instinct to salute.

Original Cindy lowered the hand she had stretched out to grab the job slip. "Thought Normal has you going to Potts."

Alec folded up the call receipt. He barely gave the triple carbon copy form a glance. He knew the address. He knew it before Normal even finished calling out the street name. And no, he didn't elbow past Herbal to get it. 

"It's on the way." Alec smiled beatifically at Cindy. Again, she looked unimpressed. "Thought I give my best girl a break."

Cindy flicked a look up and down, her ruby red lips pursed.

"On the way," she repeated slowly.

"Uh, yeah?" Alec tucked the receipt into his jeans. "It's five blocks over from the Potts building."

Cindy hummed. She folded her arms in front of her and canted her head towards him.

Fourteen days in and Alec _still_ can't figure her out. He rolled his eyes and made a show of reaching for his back pocket.

"Fine, if you—"

Original Cindy reached over and tweaked the collar of his jacket. There was a freaky moment when she tugged the fraying end of his scarf, but she only gave it a pull, tightening the coils around his throat more securely.

"Say hi to Logan for me," Cindy finally said.

Alec blinked. "Who?"

"Um hm." Cindy clicked in her mouth. She gave Alec an eyebrow before sauntering away.

Alec stared after her. Part of him wanted to check for a barcode. The other part was just admiring how her shorts clung to her butt.

"Do you people remember the concept of a hot run?" Normal bellowed. A box bounced off Alec's hip, which was his cue to leave.

 

There was a thrumming that ran up and down Alec's spine when he showed his badge to the front desk. No rooftops. No alarms. He just walked right in.

It felt weird to see the building from this angle. The lobby was modest considering some of the other lobbies Alec _visited_ , but the glaring presence of armed rent-a-cops declared they were just as expensive as any other residential building here in this privileged neighborhood.

" _Jam Pony_ messenger here for you," the burly security guard said crisply into the phone. He rubbed a hand over his closely shaven head as he eyed Alec's badge like it was a leper.

"Want us to send him up?" The last part was said with a bit of distaste. 

Alec scowled at the guy who was making a face at whatever he heard on the receiver. What was the point of growing a goatee if he shaved his head?

"Yes sir." Bored mud brown eyes flicked over to Alec but didn't stay. 

"Twenty seventh," the guard said in the general direction of Alec's ear. "Leave the bike outside,"

Alec glanced down at his ride. "And have it stolen?"

The security guard sneered. "Not likely on this street. _Outside_."

Grumbling, Alec pushed his ride to the front of their fancy double glass doors. The panes and nickel handles were smudge free and looked like someone made the effort to polish them every day. Geez. 

"Is this fine, _Sir_?" Alec called out loudly. Residents in the lobby stared. "No?" The bicycle squeaked loudly across the marble floors when Alec dragged in to the left.

"Is here good?" Alec asked at the top of his lungs. " _Here_? How about over here? What? _Here_? Okie dokie!"

The guard gestured wildly from his perch behind the mahogany front desk. Alec took it as, "Fine, fine, stop screwing around and get your business done before you sully our oxygen."

Smirking, Alec set the bike by the double glass doors, out of the way because he wasn't a complete ass after all. Whistling, he gave the red-faced guard a neat little bow as he strolled past. He ducked into an elevator, grinning when he saw who it was who held the door open for him.

"Good morning, Mrs. Moreno!"

"Why, good morning." Alec's favorite hockey lady genially smiled back, puzzled. "Do I know you, young man?"

 

_"...let me know if you hear anything else..."_

Alec fought not to bounce; not that he knows _why_ he's rocking from toe to heel. He stared at the cherry wood door, all fancy and polished with the crappiest door entry key and card system he's encountered. 

His smile flipped. 

Now that Alec thought about it: this isolated on the tippy top, soundproof, shitty window alarms, subpar key system, this really wasn't a place for _Eyes_ —

"Sorry about that. Thanks for waiting...."

Alec realized he was scowling when the door opened. He immediately schooled a grin. He spread opens his arms wide, waggled his brows and waited.

Logan stared.

Alec's smile faltered. Okay, he wasn't expecting Logan to fling his arms around him (although, Logan would be at the _perfect_ level for a little face to dic—shut up) but Alec was hoping for a little enthusiasm. He has been gone for two weeks.

"Didn't you miss me?" Alec whined.

Logan blinked. His mouth parted, snapped shut, parted again. Something flitted across his drawn face. He had looked away briefly before he recovered. The corner of his mouth lifted.

"I didn't recognize you standing under a door." Logan rolled back, neatly turned and headed for the kitchen.

Alec looked around him, took a deep breath and stepped across the threshold. Okay, no trumpets but his feet felt tingly as he legitimately entered the penthouse for the first time.

Logan was in the middle of the corridor, watching Alec with an odd twist in his mouth.

Alec smirked. "Surreal, huh?"

"I've never had anyone break into my house by knocking politely before." Logan paused, finally taking in Alec's appearance. "Wait, _you're_ the messenger security sent up?" Green eyes widened further as they spotted the bag with its blinding neon logo on its front flap.

"Surprise! I've gone legit!" Alec spread his arms wide again and just for the hell of it, turned around slowly to give Logan a view of his backside as well. Just in case Logan forgot what he looked like.

"Why?"

Alec screwed up his face at the suspicious tone. "What do you mean _why_? Shouldn't you like be proud I've gone the straight and narrow?" He splayed a hand on his chest. 

"Your mundane dorkiness has inspired me to strive for the same! I'm getting glasses next week and swapping out all my clothes for baggy ones to complete the look."

"Hm." Logan just said as he entered the kitchen area.

"What's that for?" Alec griped. 

"Nothing," Logan muttered. "Wondering where the urge to work below minimal wage came from?"

"I like a challenge." Alec shrugged as he set his bag on the counter. "Speaking of which: minimal wage is hungry work. Got anything to eat? I had smog for breakfast, Seattle's best." He quickly surveyed the apartment. Everything looked the same. He cooed and wiggled his fingers towards his favorite lesbian vases. "Hello, ladies! Missed me?"

" _Alec_."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Oh, all right, fine! I did join _Jam Pony_ for another reason."

Interestingly, Logan's shoulders tensed. He abruptly faced the contents of the fridge. He didn't turn around.

The reason stuck in Alec's throat; he'd planned for this moment to confront Logan, but now the words wouldn't come out. He gulped, thought quickly and blurted out "Leads."

"What?"

Alec's thumb scratched up and down the bag's wide strap. "They send us all across the city, some pretty nice places, with a sector-free zone pass." He grinned broadly at Logan, who turned around at him. "Really _nice_ places."

Predictably, Logan cast his eyes towards the ceiling. The hard line across his shoulders relaxed. "I figured the things in this building could only hold your interest for so long."

Logan sounded unsurprised. Alec felt something inside him twinge. He scowled after Logan. 

"There's only so much I can take from here before your so-called security realizes someone's been robbing every unit blind."

"Not every unit." Logan wheeled around, a plate of sandwiches now on his lap. "Mrs. Moreno, I hear, has been fortunate so far."

"Yeah, well, it's Mrs. Moreno, you know," Alec mumbled. He fingered the wool around his neck. It was as soft as fur after many careful washings. "She knits nice scarves." He eyed the plate Logan set on the counter between them with distaste. 

"Peanut butter. Again?"

Logan slanted him a look.

"Fine," Alec grumbled as he plucked one soft triangle. He gave it a sniff.

"Hey..."

"Banana," Logan said as he fished out a quart of goat's milk and a tall glass as well. He set it by the plate.

"Banana?" Alec twisted his mouth. "I know I've bitched, but no jelly?"

Logan shrugged. "Thought you might want something different."

"But _banana_?"

"It's good."

Alec stared at the gaping neckline, the shadows under Logan's eyes. He looked at the plate, at the sandwiches cut diagonally in half. He was tempted to look in Logan's fridge, but was afraid he'll starve just by looking inside.

"Prove it," Alec demanded. He thrust the other half towards Logan, who gaped at him.

"Excuse me?"

"If it's that good, prove it." Alec picked up the half by two fingers. He made a face and wiggled the sandwich in front of Logan. 

"You're not serious," Logan managed. At Alec's scowl, he sighed. "Fine." He took a bite. He raised an eyebrow.

Alec folded his arms in front of him. 

Muttering to himself, Logan finished it with four neat bites.

"Delicious," Logan muffled. He made a face when he heard himself. He poured himself a glass of goat's milk to wash it down. "Absolutely fin—oh God, but not with _that_."

Alec snickered at the face Logan made at the milk streaked glass. "Told you that stuff was nasty."

Logan looked rueful as he set the glass in the sink. "Yes, well..."

Alec ate the other half and the second andwich. He gulped down the goat's milk and made a face of his own. Actually, the sandwiches weren't bad. The banana was creamy, sweet against the salty tang of the crunchy peanut butter, but he agreed with Logan about the milk: holy shit, that _was_ nasty.

"Been keeping yourself busy then?" Logan asked casually, but Alec caught him giving Alec a sideways look. Logan plucked an apple and rolled it down the counter to Alec. Cool, he'll save it for later.

Alec grinned as he tucked the apple, caught the second tossed his way, into his messenger bag. "Yep. I am now a bonafide underpaid working slob."

"Winter's almost over."

Alec's smile faded. He briefly touched the scarf. He swallowed; this time it wasn't peanut butter stuck in his mouth. "I know. Haven't a chance to really check out a new tattoo place..." He took the folded piece of paper Logan wordlessly handed him. 

"If this is your phone number, hate to tell you this, but I already got i—what's this?" Alec blinked at the list of phone numbers. 

"You're taking the untraceable number thing too far, you know."

Logan peered over the top of his spectacles at him. "Tattoo parlors." 

Alec leered. "Thinking of some ink? Might I make a suggestion? How about your left butt ch—" At Logan's aghast expression, Alec snorted.

"Okay, okay." Alec reread the list again. None of the numbers looked familiar.

Logan's shoulder lifted briefly. "Some of the places listed, while expensive, are reliable at least. Somewhat. My friend...uh...mentioned trying them before. They're not in the habit of sharing their client lists for any price."

Alec's throat worked. "Oh." He scanned through them quickly. "There's a lot here."

"Wasn't sure if you were coming back. I uh..." Logan's wheelchair rocked before abruptly turning around. "In any case, just thought it might be useful for you, should you come by."

Alec stared at the list. He thought of all those hacks, staring unblinking at a camera, those nights meeting people in weird places while vetting less unscrupulous tattoo parlors.

"Hey, I—"

Logan's phone rang.

"Hello?" Logan's brow rose and he glanced over to Alec. "Everything's fine. There were a few more things I needed the messenger to wait for. It's fine up here."

"Security was wondering what was taking you so long," Logan explained with an exasperated sigh as he hung up. "I guess they were afraid you might have somehow murdered me in my sleep."

It came out before Alec could stop himself. "It's not that hard, you know."

Logan meant what he said before to be funny; Alec was pretty sure of that. He didn't know why he said what he said and shit, Logan's sudden fascination with the receiver in his hands, that sandwich wanting to leave his stomach, the way the air staled between them, he...he...What the hell?

"I should get going," Alec announced too loudly. He ignored Logan's grimace as he pivoted on his heel. "Normal's a bit of a stickler for timeliness."

Logan's forced light tone burned in his ears. "I remember."

Alec was tempted to ask about that as well but not now. Not when he could feel Logan's stare boring through his back like a sniper scope.

"Hey, we should celebrate with dinner or something. You here tonight? I'll swing by eight? Nine? You in the mood for anything? Of course not. No eggrolls though, okay? I still taste them in the back of my nostrils whenever I—"

"Alec."

Alec froze mid-babble, because damn it, he was babbling, verbal diarrhea and Jesus, he needed to get out of here before he says something ridiculously—

"Don't you need this?"

Alec stared blankly at the paper wrapped box Logan extended out to him. Oh. Right.

"Yeah. Uh, you know the routine, right? Sign here, here and here." Alec hefted the box in his hand. It was the size of a cinderblock, but not as heavy. He shook it by his ear. He shook it harder and thought he heard something banging the sides. "What's in it?"

"I thought you guys were supposed to be discreet," Logan replied wryly.

A harder shake yielded nothing.

"Seriously?" Alec complained. "What's in it?" He didn't know why Logan looked so damn amused. He glared at Logan. "Drugs?"

Logan gave him a frown.

"Yeah. You're boring that way. Uh, ooh! Porn?"

Another look.

Alec glowered back.

"Thirty thousand in untraceable cash," Logan deadpanned.

Alec arched an eyebrow at him. When Logan's face wouldn't reveal anything, Alec huffed. 

"Fine, don't share. I'll make sure it goes to...47 Chambers Lane, all right?"

"I think that was the point." Logan paused. "So, ah, nine?"

"Huh?"

"You said dinner." Logan shook his head. "Never mind. I thought—"

"Nine's good," Alec blurted. "I get off work at eight." He made a face. "That's going to get some taking used to saying."

Logan chuckled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. My only excuse is summer vacation is _never_ summer vacation for moms. Sigh.


	7. Chapter 7

The window was closed again.

Alec stared at the window and the blinking red alarm. 

What the hell?

Spotting Logan wheeling past, Alec tapped the window. When Logan stopped in his tracks, Alec gestured towards the alarm before disarming it and slipping inside.

"I thought you said nine." Alec shut the window. He took an appreciative sniff of the air. Mm. Not pork chops or chicken. 

"What were you doing at the window?" Logan asked, baffled.

Alec gave him a frown as he unbuckled his rigging. "You said nine, right?" He peeled back the blocking tape on his watch and squinted at its face. "I'm only six minutes late. That's not even fashionably. Should I go back outside and wait ten more minutes?"

"No, I mean..." Logan gestured towards the door, back to the window.

Oh.

Alec rubbed the back of his neck. "That's for work. You know, ding dong, _Jam Pony_? The window's...that's my wind—" He hastily shrugged off his backpack. 

"Aw, forget it. It was a habit. I forgot, all right? I don't even know why you bother with the alarm anyway. It's a joke." Alec veered around Logan to peek into the kitchen. "What's for dinner?"

"Pasta," Logan said absently. He kept looking at the window. "Some garlic bread."

Alec stirred the pot's contents with the wooden spoon that was inside. He noted the red sauce, the bits of ground beef. His stomach gurgled.

"It should be a few more minutes," Logan said, his smile faint, but genuine. He balanced two baskets of bread and wine on his lap. It looked like he already set the table. 

Alec frowned. "Hey, I think Mount Cale is bigger than last time." The pillars of folders were taller and broader now. They took up the other half of the table.

"Been busy." Logan shrugged as he set the bread down. 

Alec narrowed his eyes. "Doing what?" 

"Porn," Logan said curtly. His voice was hard, warning the conversation, or at least that part of it, was over.

"Whatever you say, Heather," Alec muttered. He flicked an eye towards the computer desk; the gun drawer was shut. Damn it, Manticore should have considered X-ray vision for their test tube babies.

"Can you stir that for me?" 

Alec jerked his eyes away from the gun drawer. He blinked at Logan, who nodded towards the pot on the stove.

"What? You're putting me to work?" Alec whined. "I've been pretending to work all day." He smirked at Logan's snort. He made a show of grumbling as he turned back towards the pot on the stove.

The spoon rattled around the sides of the pot. Alec stirred, occasionally sniffing the salty sweet smell of tomato and herbs appreciatively. Distractedly, he looked about because standing there, stirring felt too normal for a lab experiment like him. He ended up watching Logan's hands as they absently brushed across the table surface, looking for crumbs. Long, tapered hands skimmed across the grain, lingering at some spots, fingertips pressing lightly on—

"Alec?"

"Uh yeah." Alec stopped staring and hurriedly dropped his eyes onto the pot. 

"Is it ready?" Logan didn't look up as he detached the armrests so he could fit under the table. He pulled out a rolled up blanket from behind and set it next to him.

Alec stared blankly into the pot. "I think so?"

"Think so?" Logan echoed as he wheeled over. "Did the oregano soften up yet? I put a spoonful of brown sugar because the tomatoes were not ripe enough. Is it completely dissolved?"

"You told me to stir." Alec gestured to Logan with a sauce soaked spoon. "You didn't tell me to do a spectral analysis of the damn thing."

Logan chuckled faintly. Alec hated how it always died quickly like Logan wasn't sure how long it should last.

"Here, give me a spoon. I'll see if it's ready."

"I can strip down an M-9 blindfolded, recalibrate a Wen-Mak 14 laser scope with a toothpick, but this?" Alec griped. 

"It's cooking, not nuclear physics." Logan's amusement lingered warm on Alec's skin.

"Close enough," Alec griped. "Cooking's too complicated." He scooped up a bit of sauce. He squinted at at the spoon, but he couldn't tell if any of the things Logan asked about had happened. He extended the spoon out. "Here. Taste."

Logan paused at the spoon inches from his mouth. And for a breathless second, Alec thought Logan would just lean in, close his eyes and nibble on the edge of the wooden spot, his lower lip glistening with sauce and—

"Thanks." Logan cleared his throat as he gingerly grabbed the spoon by its long stem. There was a brief tug of war before Logan gained the spoon. He slipped the edge of the spoon between his lips; Alec suddenly wanted to snap the damn spoon in half. 

Alec stared, mouth dry as Logan closed his eyes briefly, his throat working as he lightly smacked his lips.

"I think it's done." Logan ran his tongue over his lower lip. He blinked up at Alec's choked sound. "Alec?"

"Done. Great," Alec managed. He nearly shoved his flushed head into the pot. "Looks done. Smells done. Great. I'm starving. Want me to bring it over?"

Logan looked at him strangely. "Sure."

 

Dinner was pretty good. Logan made some sort of funny screw shaped pasta and piled on a spicy, beefy sauce that left a slick, red pool at the bottom of his plate. Alec was describing Sketchy and his weird talking friend Herbal while he swept a piece of crusty bread across his plate to soak up the sauce.

"...so I _think_ he said let's get something to eat, but I can't do lunch these days and he says something about the air and how it swirls around us and then—"

"You can't do lunch?" Logan echoed, interrupting.

Alec paused, the bread halfway to his mouth. He finished the move, popping the saucy morsel in before continuing. 

"Yeah, they're not exactly paying us the big bucks, plus I got this," Alec pointed to the back of his neck with his fork, "to think about."

Logan grimaced. "It's finally starting to warm up. That scarf's going to look strange soon."

"No shit." Alec scraped the plate, herding the remains of his pasta for one last forkful. 

"Thought you were getting leads to bigger payoffs."

"Been busy," Alec mumbled. He froze. He glanced over, but Logan only looked curious. "...With stuff. How about you?"

"What?" Startled, Logan blinked. "Me?"

Alec snagged a piece of bread. He snagged the now empty pot and started to clean the bottom off with his bread. "Been keeping busy? Any more side trips?" 

"No. Like I said before. Just more porn."

Alec leered. "Anything interesting? New positions?" 

"Nothing interesting."

"Missionary again, Heather?" Alec groaned. He cackled at Logan's sputter. "All right, all right." He sobered. "Seriously, need me squatting your place again anytime soon?"

Logan shook his head. "I wish I could explain, but —"

"You don't want my help. Got it." Alec tipped the pot towards him and studied the bottom of it. There was still some sauce left, but he ran out of bread. 

Logan nudged his still full bread basket towards Alec.

"I _can't_ take your help." Logan sighed. Alec looked up. "My friend Max..." He stirred around what was still left on his plate with a fork. 

Logan's ceramic plate had a simple blue stripe around its circumference. It was exactly the understated yet overpriced piece Alec expected Logan to have. It was fancy and looked fancy, the kind where expensive food was often arranged on them with wasteful garnishes cut out of perfectly good vegetables. The forks were heavy with real silver. Even the wine glasses held a weight. But instead of wine, Logan unexpectedly served apple juice, nice and cold, crisp and golden in his fancy drink ware. He savored the sweet juice; it's been a while since he tasted apple juice.

"Alec." Logan's weary voice drew Alec out of his thoughts. "It's not that I don't want your help. It was never that."

"I don't get you," Alec muttered. "You're obviously getting mixed up in things, things that need you carrying a gun indoors, but you got something way better than a dinky gun sitting here eating your food." 

"I can't risk putting you in the spotlight, Alec. Not with Manticore still watching."

At the mention of Manticore, the grumbling in Alec's stomach died down. He set the pot back on the table. 

"Manticore is _always_ watching," Alec told him. "I've been under their microscope since probably in the zygote stage." He swallowed. There was a bad taste in his mouth. "That's never going to change but it doesn't mean I'm afraid of them either." Alec shrugged. "And hey, it's not for free. I'm not cheap. Figured whatever it is you get me doing would pay a hell of a lot better than _Jam Pony_."

Logan studied him, his mouth pressed thin.

"What?"

"The scarf."

Alec's hand flew up to it. The yarn yielded to his clawed grip. It hung loosely around his neck. Shit, did he get sauce on it?

"What about it?"

"You still have it on."

Luckily, the scarf concealed the weird blush he could feel creeping up. "It's cold," Alec mumbled.

"Even in here?"

Alec dropped his hand.

Logan stared at him and how was it Alec never realized that stare was so much like _Eyes Only_? It was just as intense, just as steady and dissecting. How could anyone take one look at him and not realize Logan Cale was _Eyes Only_?

"Alec?" 

"What?" Alec rubbed the edge of the table with his thumb. "What about the scarf?"

"You never take it off."

Alec gestured towards the back of his neck.

Logan made an agreeing sound. "I get that. Out there, with Manticore. But in here?" He set down his fork, no longer pretending he was trying to finish his food.

"Alec, you don't even take it off here."

Alec stilled.

"That..." Alec lowered his hand from the scarf. "Don't read too much into that. I forgot, that's all."

"You've been here for almost an hour and it never occurred to you to take that off? Doesn't it feel warm here? You look hot."

"Why thank you. You're no ugly, either."

"Alec."

Alec unwound the knit around his throat; he had to flex his hands twice to get them to move. The wool pooled in his lap after sliding off his neck like a snake. Done, he opened his hands. He didn't know what Logan was talking about. The place wasn't warm. He could feel goosebumps prickling his neck.

"See?" Alec smirked. "Anything else you want me to take off?"

Logan didn't blush or get flustered like he normally did. The guy sat there, looking like a bag of puppies was just tossed in the river or something.

"Greg Stacks of Stacks Auditing has been skimming."

Taken aback, Alec stammered a "Huh?" He tracked Logan as he made his way to the other end of the table. He reached up for a folder flagged with a blue tab.

"He's under investigation for embezzling funds out of the very companies he was hired to watch over. He's finally going before a grand jury next week so chances are he's cashing in everything and skipping the country this week."

Nodding, Alec accepted the folder. "So he's got a stash probably sitting around, ready to go. Sweet." He quickly scanned the contents. "Looked like he already asked around for a ticket out of here. Carver, Simms, Bronck, Zeller, military..."

"Sooner or later, someone is going to say yes to the price he's offering."

It meant there was a big payout, most likely sitting in a bag somewhere and Stacks quietly shitting in his pants trying to outrace a grand jury. It was hard to buy off a grand jury even in today's economy. Stacks had better odds swimming the Atlantic to China with his ill-gotten gains strapped to his back.

Alec frowned. He held up the folder.

"You don't do this," Alec accused Logan. 

"But you do." There was no recrimination in Logan's voice. 

"Although," Alec thought out loud, "I rip him off and Stacks is stuck here with his date with the grand jury." Judicial orgy. Awesome.

"That's not why I gave that to you." Logan looked pained at the idea. "I just thought it's better to get a lead on a sure thing."

Alec waggled his eyebrows. "Am I corrupting you?"

Logan scoffed. He wheeled away to the living room.

Alec frowned at the plates. More accurately, at the food left on the plate across from him. 

"No dessert?"

"You're still hungry?"

"I can eat." _And so can you_. Alec turned the chair and straddled it backwards. He rested his arms on top of it.

"Hey, what say I go give Stacks a visit and we celebrate with cake after? I know this guy who sells what the bakery couldn't over on Feber. They're a day old, but they're still pretty good—"

"It's okay," Logan interrupted. He gave Alec a faint smile before transferring to the couch with a wince. "I've got some more work I need to do."

Alec pursed his lips. "Aw, you're not like those anti-dessert people, are you? I mean, seriously, you don't need to watch your weight and the chocolate éclairs there are good. Hell, isn't chocolate supposed to be like an aphrodis—"

"It's fine," Logan said. He didn't turn around. Alec stared at his slumped shoulders. "I'm not a dessert kind of guy."

"You're not much of a food kind of guy either," Alec pointed out to the back of Logan's head. "Don't you ever like your own cooking?"

Logan shrugged.

"Let me guess," Alec muttered, "You weren't in the mood." He rested his chin on his folded arms. "Are you ever in the mood?" 

Logan didn't comment, but a tiny clicking-clacking filled the gap. Damn it. Guess he found the laptop. 

Alec watched him typing away. He knew by the minute flex of Logan's shoulders he could feel Alec's blatant scrutiny. But screw it; Alec stared anyway at the pale neck and the neckline of a sweatshirt that seem to hang looser each time he saw the guy.

The typing stopped. "Stacks is out tonight for a black tie event. He probably won't be back until one."

The corner of Alec's eye twitched. "Was that a hint?"

Logan still wouldn't turn around. Alec wanted to throw something at his head to get him to look over. 

"If you want me to go..." Alec bit his lower lip.

A tired sigh floated out from the couch. 

"No. I just...this would be the best thing for you right now." Logan paused. "But I can have dessert ready if...if you want to come back here."

Dessert and Logan popped in Alec's head and suddenly, it was a good thing the guy was all the way over there. The offer to eat it off Logan's skin or off Alec's was at the tip of his tongue. Alec rested his forehead on top of the chair. Behind the chair's back, he pressed the heel of his hand down on the heat swelling between his legs. Ouch.

"Alec?"

"Yeah," Alec almost groaned. "Dessert sounds great." He staggered up. "I'll uh...be right back."

 

By the time Alec returned, there was a faint smell of stewed apples and a spice he sometimes smelled in pies. When there were pies, that is.

The window, this time, was open, alarm off. Alec slipped inside, slid it shut before the late night air could whistle in. He set down the backpack. Maybe he'll catch Logan doing his _Eyes Only_ thing, maybe he'll sit here, listen to that throaty voice, slip a hand down his pants and jerk off to the dulcet tones of truth, justice and— _nah_. 

The computer area was unoccupied, as was the dining area, so it left the kitchen. Alec tiptoed in, catching Logan on the end of a conversation with his earpiece before returning back to whatever he left cooling on the lower table attached to the island. The wood looked new. He tried not to think about why a shorter table was added onto the kitchen island.

Alec bit his lower lip as he observed Logan snatching back a hand when the skillet proved to be too hot. Logan stuck a finger in his mouth, absently sucking the reddened digit as he scooped out mounds of golden fruit.

"What's that?" Alec asked hastily because watching Logan's lips pursed around the fingertip was both nice and increasingly uncomfortable at the same time.

Logan twitched and started to reach for something by his hip until he realized who it was.

"Wear a bell," Logan grumbled. He continued spooning fruit into two red striped bowls. Yeesh, even the bowls coordinated with the food.

Leaning casually against the fridge, Alec folded his arms.

"Since when do you carry your gun with you inside?"

"Not the first time," Logan reminded him.

Alec scowled. That's right. Even before tall, blonde and handsome broke in, before he was Heather, he was already _Eyes Only_ , pissing a lot of people off. People with bigger guns. He eyed the holster Logan tucked between the side of the chair and his right leg. Logan wouldn't be able to get to it fast enough. 

"Stacks panned out?" Logan asked, rousing Alec from his mental debate on which would be strategically better: a .45 gun attached to the bottom of the island slab or a shotgun under the dining table.

"Very." Alec nodded towards his backpack. "Maybe even enough to hit Chinatown after next week."

"Great. I think." Logan made a face; he didn't seem to find that good news like Alec did. He studied the two bowls on the counter critically as he coated the steaming tops with a topping.

"Was that supposed to be pie? I think they blew up on you." Alec screwed up his face. It sort of looked like pie except the crust was all broken on top.

"Cobbler." Logan explained as he nodded towards them. "Be better with ice cream, but with dairy at a premium these days, no one is making it."

It turned out cobbler was a juicy jumbled mix of fruit and crunchy nutty crumb topping. Each spoonful burst into a swell of spices and sugar. It was crunchy. It was sweet. It was pretty awesome.

As Alec licked his spoon front and back after every mouthful, he described to Logan Stacks's sorry security system.

"Most of his expensive stuff was gone," Alec said as he created another spoonful with the perfect ratio of fruit, crunchy stuff and juice. He popped the spoon in his mouth. He hummed. 

"There's a bunch of blank patches on the walls. I'm thinking paintings. A couple of empty pedestals, too. Although I doubted he had anything as tasteful as your lesbian cases." Alec closed his eyes at the next spoonful; a heady mix of spices hit the back of his throat with a lingering warmth. He moaned. "Holy shit, what spice is that?" 

"Nutmeg." Logan was staring hard into his bowl for whatever reason.

"Nutmeg's _awesome_." Alec frowned to himself when Logan wordlessly slid his bowl over. It was still half full. "You sure?"

Logan shrugged as he wiped his mouth clean with a napkin. Darn. Alec was about to offer to clean him off himself.

Alec hastily dropped his eyes into Logan's offered bowl. "Okay, cool," he said hurriedly before he scrambled across the table and freaked the guy out. "Uh, thanks. This is really good."

"Sounds like Stacks liquidated everything," Logan murmured. His brow furrowed. "He was planning to run after all."

"Maybe. Found a bag of krugerrands, maybe worth forty thousand in his wall safe."

Logan's brow deepened. "He's worth more than that. He must have paid off someone already."

Alec shrugged. "His house was stripped bare, so it looks like it." He studied Logan. "Bad news?"

It was impressive (and annoying) how quickly Logan schooled a blank expression. 

"For the grand jury and the prosecutor." Logan's finger tapped lightly on the table. "I heard they worked hard to put a case together against Stacks."

Uh huh. Alec played along; he shrugged as he gulped another spoonful of dessert. 

"If they were so gung-ho about stringing Stacks up, they should have had the trial early."

Logan's shoulders lifted and dropped, but Alec spied the tightness around his eyes, agreeing. "Too bad."

"Right. Too bad," Alec echoed. He listened to Logan's finger tap the table some more before he spoke up again.

"Oh yeah," Alec said casually as he scraped the bottom of the bowl clean. Damn, it went fast. "I got you a present."

"A present?" Even though Alec was heading for his backpack, he could hear Logan's eyebrow going up high. He felt Logan's gaze on him as he rummaged through his pack. 

"Guess what I have?" Alec singsonged as his hand burrowed deeper through his loot. The coins tinkled as he searched. Krugerrands makes the best music. 

"What for?" Logan sounded baffled.

Alec shot him an irritated look over his shoulder. Logan sighed.

"Fine. Uh, a new security alarm?"

"You're not even trying," Alec complained as he curled a hand around the roll at the bottom of the pack.

"Bullets?"

"Nope."

"A chicken?" 

Alec rolled his eyes. " _No_."

"Uh...jewelry?" 

Alec scoffed. "Since when do you wear jewelry?" He brightened. "Unless you're thinking handcuffs. Now there's a thought. I can get these fur-lined ones—"

"A book?" Logan threw in hastily.

"What? Ew, no." Alec leapt to his feet, brandishing the rolled up manila folder in his grasp. "I got you porn!"

Logan cautiously accepted his gift. "Thank you?"

"Check it out," Alec prodded. He smirked when Logan peered over his spectacles at him. "Nothing you haven't seen before, Heather." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Come on!"

Muttering to himself, Logan tugged the rubber band off and carefully unfurled the roll cautiously like it was an IED. His eyes quickly darted through the pages. They widened. Logan looked up sharply.

Alec grinned back smugly. "Looked like Stacks had very naughty photos of some of the people in the prosecutor's office. He had them stashed between his other files in his office. He must have been blackmailing them so they would drag their feet about the grand jury." His smile faded at Logan's stare. "What?"

"I thought you were going to clean him out." Logan's gaze flicked to the folder then back up to Alec.

Alec shrugged. "Thought you might be interested." 

Logan gave him a searching look. "Why did you think I might be interested in this?"

Thinking quickly, Alec waved towards the folders on the dining room. He cocked his head. "What's the face for?"

Logan took a deep breath. "You took a big risk."

"What risk? He wasn't hiding it anywhere special. It was in another safe in his upstairs office." Actually, Stacks _hid_ his upstairs office, but Alec suspected that was a detail Logan didn't need to know.

"But you should have just gone in and out, not search for anything else. If he came back—"

"He didn't."

"If he came back, found you, called the police—"

Alec scoffed.

"And the police called Lydecker, what then?"

Alec stiffened. He violently shook out of it and glared at Logan.

"He didn't."

"But what if he did?" Logan pressed.

Alec gnashed his teeth. "But he _didn't_."

"What if the security cameras caught you—"

"I took out all of the feeds—"

"What if you missed one?"

"I didn't," Alec declared, but Logan's mouth only pressed together tighter. His knuckles turned white around the rims of his chair.

"Alec, the slightest mention of you or your abilities show up in even a blog post and it'll get back to Lydecker. What then?"

"Then I'll blaze out of here to this magical place up north you called Canada, all right?" Alec snapped.

Logan's face shuttered. 

"Yes, there's always that," Logan said woodenly. His mouth twisted before he abruptly turned away.

"Don't take the chance again." Logan squeezed the folder between his hands. He flattened it out and left it on the desk. He didn't look at it again.

"I keep telling you; this was not a big deal, all right? It wasn't exactly the highest secured place in the city. Hell, there was a couple—"

" _Alec_!"

Alec started at the raised voice. He stared at Logan, hurt.

Logan seemed to sag into his wheelchair. 

"Don't do this for me again." Logan's words were firm, almost commanding. Alec's chest flared when he realized he almost saluted Logan.

"Whatever," Alec muttered. He abruptly turned his shoulder to Logan as he stomped away. 

"Alec. It's not, _I'm_ not, worth—"

"Fine," Alec snapped before Logan could give him the damn 'Manticore is evil' spiel again. "No more favors. I heard you the first time." He snatched his backpack, whipping it over the shoulder in one sharp move. He needed to show up at _Jam Pony_ early tomorrow anyway. 

"See you around," Alec muttered. He stalked past Logan. He went out the door instead of the window. If Logan called him back, Alec didn't stick around long enough to hear.

 

The locker crumpled in the middle at the slam. Damn it.

Alec glowered into his locker and its stupid contents. 

_Stupid locker. Stupid badge. Stupid Log—_

Someone on the other side of the row shouted angrily when Alec's punch popped open all the doors on the other side.

"Take it outside!" Normal bellowed from his area.

Alec grit his teeth. He spent the rest of that night on the roof, glaring at the light glowing out from Logan's floor. It was still on when he left for _Jam Pony_. Then some asshole in a car cut him off on the way to work. And he found a new hole in his right boot.

"Watch it," someone complained when Alec slammed his locker door again.

"Shut up," snarled Alec. The grumbling on the other side immediately quieted.

Original Cindy sighed as she materialized to his right. She pushed back the dark curls from her face as she scrutinized Alec. Her full red lips pursed.

"What?" Alec snapped. He didn't wait for an answer and yanked the locker door back open to block the disapproving frown.

Cindy sighed.

"Back off," Alec muttered as he yanked his shirt off over his head. "This is the guys' locker side. No peeping." He threw his crumpled shirt into his locker as he grabbed a clean top. 

"Original Cindy sees nothing she wants to see."

That only reminded Alec he still hadn't been able to recruit her and the urge to slam his door bubbled up. Then again, he didn't want her lousy information anyway. Did Logan want to go solo? Fine. He didn't care. If the idiot wanted to help scumbags like Bronck to beat him up in an alley, dump his body somewhere, his face torn up like...like...

The doors on both sides of the lockers flew open when Alec punched the bottom of his. Surprisingly, all he got was a couple of squeaks in response.

"You know Normal's going to take that out of your pay."

"Boo hoo." Alec snatched his badge, slung it over his covered neck. He glared at his bag though and its hideous neon green logo of a rider speeding away. 

"Original Cindy doesn't know what's got your boxers in a bunch, but she thinks you better quit it before you wreck the whole damn building."

Alec _wanted_ to wreck the whole damn building. He wanted to go over to a certain penthouse and rip certain computers off certain walls and...

The thread of anger in his chest snapped and left him breathless. Alec stared into his locker, suddenly feeling ill. He would never...no...

"You done?" 

Alec shot Original Cindy a look. She cocked her head, folding her arms.

"There's a couple of bikes in the back if you still feel like tearing something apart," Cindy said, her face deliberately blank.

"Think Normal will take that out of my pay too?" Alec joked weakly.

Cindy snorted as she shrugged.

"Normal would crap in his corporate branded briefs if you start ripping locker doors off with your bare hands."

Alec pretended to rear back in horror.

"Normal wears _briefs_?"

"Hey." Cindy pressed a thumb over his hand squeezing the locker door. "Whatever got you pissed off; shake it off before you let the cat out of the bag."

"What cat?" Alec asked innocently.

Cindy drew closer. "The cat you're trying to rip off its hinges."

Alec discovered the locker door was buckling under his grip. Crap. His hand flinched open. He hastily dropped his hand back into the locker.

"You better straighten it out or it'll never close."

Alec's eyes zipped to Cindy. Her look sharpened. She nodded minutely to the messengers behind her.

"Most of us can't fold metal in half with our bare hands. Better fix that before someone notices."

A small hand, a fragile hand, dropped over his, unafraid. 

Alec twitched.

"It's all right," Cindy murmured. "Original Cindy knows."

"Know what?" Alec whispered, his throat squeezing. 

"Know _Jam Pony_ won't be left standing if you really let loose." Cindy squeezed his hand. Alec stifled the urge to jerk away.

"No one's near," Cindy said, urgent and hushed.

Alec fidgeted as he flattened out the dents with his hand. Cindy's gaze on him seemed seared into his skin.

The locker door groaned. They both flinched. To Alec's surprise, Original Cindy stepped closer, her slim body blocking the view. She nodded curtly. Alec finished ironing out the dents with his bare hands.

Done, Alec stared into his locker. His shoulders flexed as he waited, anticipating, bracing to run.

Cindy tsked. "Was Logan being a fool last night?"

It startled a scoff out of Alec. "Guess Original Cindy does know."

Cindy rolled her eyes. She tapped a fist to his arm with a smirk. "After work." She sauntered away. She paused. "You're buying." She didn't wait for a reply, her hand waving over her shoulder in goodbye.

Alec stared after her, speechless. 

"Wait. _I'm_ buying?"

 

A dark hand reached over and stole the peanut out of Alec's hand.

"Hey!" Alec complained. "That was dinner."

Cindy gazed down at him, nonplussed. She popped the peanut in her mouth. 

"Give Original Cindy the 411. Now."

Alec drew his peanut bowl protectively to him. He glowered at Original Cindy as she plopped down in a chair in front of him. He didn't offer to buy her a beer. There was a growing suspicion it would be a waste of time trying.

"You first," Alec returned. "Max and Logan."

Cindy shrugged delicately. "They're both stupid. Now they're stupid miles apart."

Alec blinked. "What? No, I wasn't talking about them as in _them_." His chest clenched at the words though. "I meant Max as," he gestured towards himself, "And Logan as..." He nodded towards the television.

"Max was Logan's superhero; he was the sidekick." At Alec's scowl, Cindy added, "Not Original Cindy's words." She studied Alec.

"So now you're taking Max's place?"

Bile rose up in Alec's throat. He grunted and focused on eating everything in his peanut bowl.

Cindy sighed. "This is why Original Cindy plays for her own team." She tapped her mug on the table to get Alec to look up. "You offered?"

"He wouldn't let me." Alec sparingly told her about Sparks. 

"For real," Cindy said feelingly. "He's changed numbers on me." She frowned. "Even after I told him not to."

Alec had a feeling not many disobeyed Original Cindy.

"You been following him?"

"No," Alec said quickly. He glared at Cindy's smirk. "Maybe. Sometimes."

Cindy hummed.

"Shut up," Alec muttered. "And to think I thought you were hot."

"Sugar, Original Cindy's flattered , but your balls are in the wrong place."

Alec's eyes widened. He reviewed their conversation.

"Wait, you're a _lesbian_?" Alec sagged into his chair. This was getting better and better. _Five demerits, 494._

"I had this whole plan..." Alec gestured towards her with a weak hand wave. He squinted at her.

"Is this lesbian thing a done deal? I've changed a few minds befor—All right! All right!" Alec pretended to cringe when Cindy stood up. He snickered as she sat back down. Damn, he didn't see that one coming. No wonder Cindy ran cold on him.

"So you had a plan, hm?" Cindy drawled. "Thinking a little bit of loose lips between the sheets?" She glowered at Alec's leer. 

Alec opened his hands. "Okay. I'll stop. I'll stop." He smirked at her. "It's kind of refreshing actually not to have someone fall over my gorgeous body."

"It wouldn't have worked," Cindy told him. She rolled her eyes when Sketchy greeted her with a holler by the pool table.

Alec scowled at her.

Smirking, Cindy gestured the space between her and Alec. 

"As I'm sure you might represent the fine part of your species, Original Cindy is not interested in kicking it up with you."

Alec smiled bitterly. "Too science fiction?"

"Too Y chromosome." 

Alec blinked. He recovered under the guise of drinking his beer. He set the mug down and studied Cindy.

"Are you sure? Because there's this thing I can do with my thumb—"

"Keep talking," Original Cindy warned, "And it isn't Manticore you have to worry about."

His stomach grew cold.

"Know about that too, huh?" At Cindy's shrug, Alec narrowed his eyes.

"What do you want?"

"Another beer," Cindy shot back easily before she gestured to the bartender. She pointed to Alec and mouthed "he's buying." She didn't seem fazed at Alec's glare.

"Another beer," Alec repeated. "That's it?"

Cindy thought for a moment. She smirked. 

"Original Cindy would like some world peace. You and four eyes get on that, all right?"

Cindy threw a peanut at him. Alec caught it with his mouth. He crunched it loudly and belched in front of her. Sure enough, she threw a few more at him. He smugly caught them all, but when his eyes drifted to the television over the bar, his smile faded.

"So that's it?" Alec studied Cindy warily. "You don't want me to get you something shiny or sparkly every so often?"

"Original Cindy needs no fancy toys to pretty her up." Cindy scoffed. She sobered as she considered Alec.

"How long?"

Alec screwed up his face. "What?"

Cindy checked around them before she reiterated.

"How long you been out?"

 _Since Rachel_ , Alec wanted to say, but instead, he held up four fingers.

"Huh. After Max, then." Cindy popped a peanut in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. "How long you knew Logan?"

Alec didn't think he really did. "Couple of months. Fall last year makes it five months, I guess, give or take."

"Close?"

Alec leered. "Working on it." His smirk faded at Cindy's scowl.

"Hey, the guy isn't exactly a social butterfly. I only finally got him trained to speak in more than monosyllables." Alec ran a finger across the scarred bar table. "And he's not exactly a sharing kind of guy." He jerked his head towards the television.

"Exhibit A."

Cindy scoffed. "Original Cindy got the Cliff notes only because Max squealed." She folded her arms.

"So what are you going to do now?"

Alec poked the last peanut in the bowl around with his finger. He shrugged.

"He's doing his superhero gig alone," Cindy murmured. "What are you going to do about it?"

"What can I do? Oh, right. Nothing. He told me to stay out of it," Alec grumbled. He slouched into his chair, all too aware of the scarf around his neck. "Besides, I got my own shit I need to worry about."

Knowing eyes drifted to the side of his face. Cindy nodded.

"Saw it when Sketchy was taking your photo." Cindy pursed her lips. "That scarf's going to look pretty stupid in a few weeks."

Alec nodded glumly. "Tell me about it. I might have a place lined up in two weeks for a little scouring."

"Fun."

"Not." Alec opened his mouth wide and pointed towards it. He gave her sad eyes. Cindy sighed and chucked another peanut at him.

"I figured," Alec said while he munched, "I get my own business together then I'll keep popping up on his business." He tilted his bowl back and emptied the rest of the peanuts. "Sooner or later, he's gonna have to let me in on the action." He grinned cheekily at Cindy.

"I'll wear him down."

"Logan Cale's already been worn down," Cindy told him before she tossed another peanut at him. It bounced off his nose. "Original Cindy thinks you need a better plan."

Alec frowned. "For Logan?"

"For _everything_."

"Well, it's all I got," Alec griped. He tugged the scarf tighter around his neck to the point of choking. "I can't walk around with a 'Come get me' on my neck and Logan's determined to wear a 'Come get me' on his back."

"I told Max I would keep an eye out."

 _Max should have stuck around and did it himself_ , Alec thought darkly. He looked across to Cindy, thoughtful. 

"What?"

Slowly, Alec smirked.

Cindy narrowed her eyes at him.

 

"...at four?" Cindy made a face. "You sure?"

"I got bad Chinese food stuck at the bottom of my boot and grease in my hair from climbing free hand on a five story building," Alec hissed back as Cindy rummaged through her locker for her gear. She shot him a look. He rolled his eyes and turned around so she could change. He waggled his fingers at Tiffany, who had no such qualms about pulling her shirt off in front of him.

Cindy smacked the back of Alec's head before he could offer to help unhook Tiffany's bra with his pinky.

"Ow! Yes, I'm sure." Alec swiveled around after giving Tiffany a regretful look. "The Creds are planning to meet with the assistant DA Alonzo Polle at four to _thank_ him for his ineptitude in handling the case against them."

"How much are they _thanking_ him for?" Cindy whispered back as she wiggled into her bike shorts. After Alec manfully turned to stare at the ceiling, of course.

"About two hundred gran—No." The lump inside his jacket reminded him. "One ninety." He grinned, unrepentant at Cindy. At her nod though, his smile flipped.

"But you can't tell him that." At Cindy's eyebrow, Alec clarified.

"Look, you're dropping off Logan's stuff and going 'Hey, how ya doing' and bitch about being late and overhearing the Creds about some guy named Alzonso. Telling him how much is too specific. He'll get suspicious."

"Oh," Cindy drawled. "I thought it was because of that." She patted his chest, right over the nice twin rolls of hundreds.

"He doesn't care."

Cindy shot him a disbelieving look.

Thinking back to the leads Logan had casually dropped, Alec grinned cheekily. "I'm special."

"You're something," muttered Cindy. She grabbed her bike. She paused after shutting her locker door.

"You sure about this?"

Alec sobered. "He wants to go solo. Fine. But at least we can make sure he has one less skanky street corner to stake out."

A fist tapped Alec's chin.

"Maybe you are a little special," Cindy murmured, smiling. She ruffled his hair and got on her bike.

"No riding on the premises!" Alec called out gleefully after her.

"What he said!" Normal hollered through his cage. He bounced a packing tube off Alec's shoulder.

"Fourteen Pike street! Hot run!"

 

Three nights later, Original Cindy almost slammed the door on Alec's mud streaked face.

"Howdy!" Alec greeted loudly. He gave her a toothy grin. 

"Why do you smell like a man's butt?" Original Cindy scowled. "And how the hell do you know where I live?"

"I followed you one time," Alec quipped. He glanced down at himself. 

"Can I use your shower? Can't use Logan's; he might ask why."

"Like why you smell like something died multiple times in your mouth?" Cindy said archly as she covered her mouth. She stepped aside to let him in. 

"Sewers." Alec stuck a finger in his ear. "I can still hear sloshing. I think half of Seattle's sewage water is in my ears." He raised his arms and sniffed his pits. 

"I think I'm wearing the other half."

"You're disgusting." Cindy snagged a clean towel hung on a clothesline that ran across the kitchen. She dropped it over his head. "Your stench might be enough to drive the _squatters_ out."

"The only way to access Conard's place was through the treatment duct in his basement." Alec winced as he stomped in, all squishy and squeaky. Cindy scowled. "What? You don't have one of those mat things to wipe my feet. Do you want me to take off my boots?"

"Original Cindy does not want to see your nasty, shriveled toes."

"Then can Original Cindy at least point out where her shower is?"

Cindy pursed her lips and pointed to a room to his right.

 

Original Cindy's apartment wasn't a penthouse, but it was still far better than the place he currently hold up in.

The shower's water came on after Cindy went out into the hallway and rerouted water from the main pipes. It was just a hose, with a small rain head attached, but the water was surprisingly hot and plenty. The water temperature made up for the drafty bathroom. Someone had hammered in a large piece of reclaimed drywall over some spots. It left the room in an irregular shape.

"So what did you get from Conard's?" 

The walls were thin enough to hear Cindy. Based on what he remembered when he did the initial recon of her place, Cindy sounded like she was in her bedroom. 

"The guy's more secured than a bank vault," Alec shouted back. He turned off the water. Unlike Logan, water was limited and shared in Cindy's building.

"So you didn't get anything?"

Alec scowled. He stalked out of the room into her kitchen. 

"Of course, I got _something_ ," Alec huffed. "What do you think I am?"

Cindy rested on the doorway to the bedroom. She folded her arms and frowned.

Alec glowered. "Well?"

"I think," Cindy said slowly. "You are a very naked man dripping on Original Cindy's floor."

Alec peered down. Oops.

"When I said I didn't want to see your nasty toes," Cindy shouted at the hastily shut door. "It meant the rest of you too!"

"You should be more specific!" Alec sang out, snickering as he wiggled into the spare shirt he kept in his backpack. At the bottom, there were certain receipts for a certain politician having dinner with a certain drug dealer. Now it was up to Cindy to do the rest, maybe claim to find them crumpled in the trash.

"I made tea," Cindy called out. "Hurry up and get dressed before it gets cold."

"Tea?" Alec repeated blankly.

"What? Your kicked up DNA doesn't let you get cold?" The kettle in the kitchen whistled shrilly. "And there's a bedroll you can use tonight. Toss out your dirty stuff too. Mrs. Martin's kids downstairs washes stuff for two dollars. They can have it dry by morning for an extra dollar."

Alec stared at the bathroom door. He looked at the pile of clothes he dumped at the corner. 

"Jasmine tea, fine?" Cindy shouted to be heard. "I have some of my old roommate's green tea too if you want that instead."

There was a wiggly feeling in Alec's chest just busting to get out. He flung open the door.

"You are the best," Alec announced.

Cindy stared.

"Now what?"

A damp rag smelling of tea smacked him in the face.

"I thought I told you to get dressed!"

"I did! I got a clean shirt on!"

"Jeans count too!"

 

_"...secretly pocketing the money of immigrants in exchange for a boat ride to another country. Only to be forced to jump overboard one hundred sixty miles off shore..."_

"How did you manage to slip that one to him?" Alec said admiringly as he stared at the screen. _Crash_ had fallen to quiet when the hack came on. Logan's altered voice rumbled clear to him.

"Complained about the dock master and his crummy slimy tips." Original Cindy looked smug behind her beer. "Original Cindy went all indignant about the man's grubby tips with the scribbled codes on his dollar bills."

Alec arched an eyebrow. "What codes? _Oh_ , the ones I wrote on them five nights ago?" He scratched his jaw. "Huh, funny you had those in your wallet." 

The two clinked their mugs together; they chimed like bells.

 _Eyes Only_ finished up with a parting surveillance photo of said dock master in a known vagrants' alleyway, pocketing the cash from Bronck's main thug.

Alec frowned. "When the hell did he take that photo?" Judging by the angle, it was street level, fairly close, like across the street with a stupid telephoto lens close.

 _Damn it, Heather._

"Sooner or later, you'll stop having Original Cindy pass notes for you."

Alec grunted. He glowered into his beer.

"He's going to figure out something's up."

Alec grimaced. 

"Give him the 411 on the deal before he figures it out himself."

If he hadn't already; Logan hasn't called _Jam Pony_ for a messenger since day before yesterday.

"Maybe later," Alec mumbled. He huddled deeper into his scarf. "I gotta do something tomorrow."

Next to him, Cindy inhaled sharply. 

"Is it tomorrow?"

"Yup." Alec stroked the scarf. His stomach churned in anticipation. "Tomorrow."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: strong language

"Three weeks?" Alec curled a hand around the ropes of scarf around his neck. "That's it?"

The tattoo guy in Logan's list shrugged. He seemed nice enough. Didn't even bat an eye when Alec showed him the bar code nor did he appear to care (or convinced) about Alec's sob story about a childhood indiscretion. The money he quoted was surprisingly reasonable. In a way. And he wasn't scanning Alec up and down thinking _bonus_.

Still.

"The way your skin doesn't want to callus or to leave any discoloration, I doubt it'll even be three weeks. Especially if you had this done before." He scratched his shaven head tattooed in Chinese proverbs that went all down his arms. "Much as I like to take your money, I got to be honest with you. I owe your friend a few favors."

Alec sighed. "Great."

The guy hesitated.

"You know someone," Alec guessed.

"I _heard_ of someone," the guy corrected. "He uses a new method, more to remove the government prison tags for those who came out of Super Max. As long you don't care about scarring—"

"I don't," Alec interrupted.

The tattoo artist fidgeted. His grey eyes had darted left and right then back to Alec. "Listen, from what I hear, Steelheads go to him to get some deep work done. Stuff that hurts."

Alec lifted his shoulders. "I have a high tolerance."

The guy, for whatever reason, was having second thoughts. "Look, why don't I just give you a better rate instead? Let's stick with the three weeks and—"

"I'll give you five hundred," Alec cut off his cajoling. "For his name."

The guy stared at Alec. After a beat, his shoulders slumped.

"Ah hell, keep your money. I'll give you his name."

 

The breeze was cool, but it felt like icicles digging into bone, even through the gauze. 

Alec swallowed. The guy wasn't kidding when he warned it would sting. It did, still is, enough so it seemed to claw down his back, burrowing pinpricks deep into his marrow. The pain thrummed down his spine, all the way to his tailbone. 

Six weeks though. 

The guy only went by name Lee. He had promised Alec it would last six weeks, more if the wound didn't heal properly. Whereas Logan's recommended guy seemed all right, this one had a fevered gleam in his brown eyes. 

The Steelheads didn't always pay him in cash.

Lee's pasty limbs trembled, but his hands were rock steady when he pulled out his tools and what smelled like floor cleaning solution.

Things were a little hazy after that.

Alec's first clear memory was waking up face-down in that orange tinged room, the straps on the stretcher torn during his struggles, the smell of vomit on the cement floor. Whether it was his or Lee's, it wasn't clear; Lee stood back looking gray-faced and a prime candidate for some upchuck. He slapped on some gauze on Alec's neck—damn, that _burned_ —and stuffed Alec's money into his grimy cargo pants. He pressed some black market antibiotics into Alec's clammy hands and pretty much shoved him out the door. 

The alleys all blurred to look the same. Alec shouldered past a few leers. By the time his feet stopped stumbling to what was determined to be a safe distance, he found himself blinking bleary-eyed at a very familiar looking building.

Getting to the roof by way of the fire stairs took longer than usual. Alec forgot where he had stashed his gear at first and spent a few minutes standing on the roof, debating if he could manage a free climb and why the hell did he wanted to climb down there anyway? He made it clear the last time Alec should stay away. Fuck him and fuck the high horse he rode on and damn him for being stupid enough to think a gun was enough to ward off assholes while he's spinning around Seattle in all hours of the night for the name of truth, justice and goddamn—

A stronger breeze zipped by and Alec stumbled a step, thankfully _away_ from the ledge he balanced tippy-toed on. And damn it, the backup line he held slithered through his numb fingers and zipped past over the edge.

The loss of his line decided it. Alec wasn't going to risk climbing down the side of the building without at least his backup. He could imagine Logan's "I told you so" if his main line snares and he pummels past Logan's stupid window with his stupid ass defective stupid alarm—

A spike of ice rammed in between his eyes. They watered immediately. Alec had to step off the edge immediately because now everything has a hazy, wavering feel to it. His feet stumbled over each other. He dropped on his ass.

Breathing harshly, Alec fisted his hair.

The colors felt wrong—no, wait, they _looked_ wrong, they tasted wrong...

Alec's breathing hitched; he needed to hold his breath, his record was, no, wait, different time, different shit, god damn it, get out of the pool, his stopwatch was ticking away, carving out shards of bone, _tick tick tick_ —

The roof door groaned open as the bottom edge scraped against the gravel. Alec started. He slammed back into the short wall that bordered the roof. He snarled as the jolt raced up to the base of his skull. 

There was a sharp intake of breath. The door whined as it opened further. Alec flinched. He tensed as he heard gravel crunch. As soon as it came closer, close enough he could feel the heat of a presence looming over him, he lashed out where he thought the attack might come.

Alec's fingers struck the cool metal of a cattle prod. It was curvier than what he recognized, but metal rang just as hollow against his knuckles. He heard more gravel crunch. He heard a gasp and he knew in another second he would hear them hollering to 494 to stand down. He won't fucking stand down because he stood down and Rachel died and he stood down when her car blew, Lydecker hissing into his ear _"Good job, 494. Time to come back in"_ —no, he won't stand down, damn it!

His fist ached when Alec swung, somehow catching a shin instead of a jaw, which he clamped onto immediately. He yanked hard and felt a body crash against him. He heard shouting. He heard his heart pounding, drowning out what was sure to be reinforcements. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He snapped back an elbow. He missed. Damn it. 

He rolled until he was on top of the guard, crushing him to the gravel. He slammed a double fist to the chest. A choked grunt. One more. The body under him bucked. Hands scrabbled for his chin, uselessly trying to push his head back. 

Alec snarled. He lashed out, blindly grabbing for anything and felt a finger break.

Someone gasped out a name instead of the designation.

Alec held up his fists over his head, tears streaming down his burning, blinded eyes. 

One more blow. Hard enough to stop the heart, vault over the perimeter fence behind him and he would be home free—

A hand slapped down hard over the back of his neck. His skin at the point of contact _boiled_ , burning and licking flames on nerves all the way down his back. His legs spasmed. His head seemed to swell from the inside and pushed out against his eyes.

Alec couldn't stop himself. He _screamed_.

Face to the gravel, his ragged breathing pushing dust around him, Alec came back to himself when the fire stopped burning him from the inside out. He found himself curled on his side, vomit sour and acrid by his face and bare feet at the edge of his perception. 

And a voice.

"Sorry...sorry..."

Sorry?

"...wha'?" Alec rasped. Judging by the gumminess on his tongue, he figured out where the vomit came from. He started to lift his head up and away because _Eau de Barf_ was not one of his favorite scents.

"Wait, don't—"

Alec threw up again. He pressed his fists to his tearing eyes. He felt a whine sawing out of the base of his throat.

"Sh..." A hand, warm and familiar hand, settled between his shoulder blades. "Breathe in and out."

His skin felt raw wherever the air touched. He wished he hadn't stuffed the scarf in his pack. Alec shivered. The hand on his back was now the only warm spot on his body and wasn't that a joke when he was on fire just a moment before?

"Alec? You with me?"

Alec blinked swollen eyes. He didn't dare move his head. He kept staring at the bare feet he could see just on the fringes. There were bloody scratches on the heels; the toes looked faintly blue from the cold.

"'ogan?" Alec croaked.

"Alec," Logan said, more sighed really. "Thank God."

"What are you doing on the..." Alec blinked, trying to access the scattered bits in his head. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Shit."

"I was looking out the window when your line go by. I heard you had gone to Lee instead. I heard it...didn't go too well."

The words registered. Sort of. Alec stared at the bare feet. They were at the wrong angle somehow, turned as if to the side. Then he realized he could see the upturned wheelchair beyond that. He swallowed.

"I hurt you." Alec's throat worked.

"You were having a rough time." Logan forgave too easily. 

A choked scream echoed in his ears. Alec squeezed his eyes shut.

"I _hurt_ you."

Logan's hand rubbed his back. "Well, I hurt you back. Remember?"

The vague burning on his nape reminded him. Alec cautiously nodded. Oh shit, _fuck_ , hell no, he was not doing that again.

"Yeah," Alec managed then added, "You bitch."

Logan coughed out a laugh that was only a little hysterical. Alec wanted to join him, but would two semi-not-too-hysterical-laughs equal to one hundred percent freak out?

Alec lay there, watching, listening as Logan dragged himself across the gravel with his elbows, grunting, swearing until he righted his wheelchair and hauled himself back into it. Alec should help him. He did, after all, dropped Logan's cute ass out of it, but damn it, it hurt to _think_ right now.

Scratched, blue-tinged feet rolled up next to him.

"Where's your shoes?" Alec slurred.

"Back in the penthouse. I was in a bit of a rush."

"You have ugly feet," Alec garbled because a breeze flitted back and scraped against his raw nape. "Should have worn shoes. Gross."

"Sorry." Logan's hand came to view. It was just as scratched up as his feet; the index finger was purple at the middle joint. "Can you get up?"

Alec blanched. To his horror, a pathetic sound escaped like a writhing thing.

Logan made a sound of his own. "You can't stay up here and I can't..." He hesitated. "Can you kneel up at least; get into the chair with me?"

Why on the shittiest day of his life did Logan have to offer _now_? Alec pressed his mouth thin.

"Stay here," Alec mumbled. "Comfy."

"No, it's not."

"Spoiled rich guy."

"Maybe. Come on. I have a bed downstairs."

"Yours?" Oops.

"Uh...if you can get up, sure."

Tempting, but...Alec pulled his knees closer to his chest. Even that seemed to pull the skin on his neck.

"Alec..." Logan sounded distressed. Shit, Heather wasn't going to cry, was he? "Come on. Just a little bit. We got to take care of your neck, get you off this roof."

"Not moving."

"Come on. If you come with me, I'll...I'll..."

"Kiss?" Alec dared him half-heartedly.

"Sure. Sure," Logan practically babbled. "Whatever you say."

Alec blinked at the bare feet. "Your bed _and_ a kiss?"

"Alec, I'll give you my _penthouse_ if you'll get up." 

Hands steadied him as Alec carefully lifted his body, first the shoulders then the hips. Logan cradled his head with both hands to keep it steady. He kept a grip, immobilizing the head as Alec shakily climbed onto his lap. Logan moved his hands to grab a fist of the back of his shirt. Alec returned the favor by grabbing the front of his.

Everything was still spinning, all stemming from the back of his neck, whipping out like a sail. 

"Hold on," Logan murmured. He grunted as he turned the chair with the combined weight.

Alec mumbled. He could feel Logan's shoulders trembling with the effort. 

"Just out to the elevator and to the penthouse," Logan promised. His voice rumbled by his ear. The vibrations seeped into Alec's body. Muscles loosened. It was easier to breathe. A little bit.

Alec found his head couldn't move from the crook of Logan's neck. His stubble was an odd, scratchy feel on his forehead. He stared at the vulnerable patch of pale skin under the chin.

"Hey," Alec whispered into the throat. He could feel the slide of warm breath against his temple as Logan glanced down. 

"I lied," Alec mumbled. "You don't really have ugly feet."

Logan huffed out a laugh against his ear.

 

There were fractured images that floated in front of Alec. Weird random points of hot and cold and itch and burn assailed him. Alec lashed out a fist at them. Sometimes, it felt like he struck something. Sometimes, it felt like he didn't.

Between the points when it felt like he was tossed in a fire, then drowned in an ice bath, there was a constant set of sensations. There was always someone talking; to him, over him, he wasn't sure. It was always low though, even, deep tones that rippled into him like a low heat wave. And there was always a hand either on top of his head, between his shoulders or rubbing his cramping stomach. 

There was a third feeling; one Alec couldn't identify in this weird haze of his. It felt...it was just...there. It felt like something he could wrap his arms around, yet not have to fight it to the ground. It felt like it stood next to him yet surrounded him. It felt like something he knew, like something he _should_ know like an image flipped behind his eyelids over and over. A target to acquire, to get close to, yet non-threatening.

The three braided and wound around him like rope. No, more like a worn, familiar blanket. Like a fleece blanket; a blue one that smelled like coffee and paper.

Coolness sat over his nape, pacifying the heat tearing at the edges of his bar code. For a brief moment, Alec feared it would quell the fire completely, heal the skin, and that damn tattoo would gleam through the layers of damaged flesh once more.

Alec screwed up his face and pressed into the solid heat underneath him. He thought he could hear a quiet thumping against his cheek. 

"It's all right..."

But it wasn't. Not really because even though it was six weeks, it was only _six_ weeks, and it'll be like nothing came across its hated black lines. It'll look like a scalpel never dug into each line, digging into epidermal after epidermal layer. It'll look like nothing poured into the wounds, ripping apart nerve endings in hopes of shocking his healing enough to dull the cycle. 

Six weeks. In six weeks, it'll be like he did nothing. _Nothing_. 

_It keeps coming back. It keeps coming back._

"Sh..."

There was that voice again, low and familiar enough to strike a cord in his chest. Alec found himself sinking to the sensation of a hand. It was empty of tasers, syringes and stopwatches, stroking down his back and ironing out the pins stabbing his spine up and down. The churning in his twisted gut unraveled. The urge to vomit, the urge to scream was dwindling.

But even as those sensations faded away, his stomach settling, he knew something else would still remain.

Alec flinched, his throat working, a growl clawing up his throat as he thought about it. Six weeks. Only six weeks.

"Relax...it'll be fine..."

But it'll never be fine. It'll never be okay.

It's just only six weeks.

 

A saltless tear dropped into his mouth.

Alec blinked. When another tear didn't trickle free, he realized it came from the damp towel on his forehead. When he lifted a hand for it, his bed snored.

Twitching, Alec cautiously turned his head and found himself staring at the scruffy underside of Logan's chin. His eyes followed the square jaw, up the angular cheekbones to the thin wire spectacles sitting crookedly across the bridge of his nose.

Logan slept on.

Carefully, Alec lifted the arm around his middle, the other arm around his back. He slowly swung his legs up and off Logan's lap. Freed (unfortunately, hm, maybe he should reconsider) of Octopus Logan, Alec now sat next to him instead on the right side of the bed. 

Alec peeled the damp towel from his brow. It was lukewarm and kind of gross feeling. He stared at it, his gaze drifting to the end table and the basin of what must have been full of ice. Tiny icebergs floated in the shallow container, another face towel folded in the ready.

Memories stitched together. The haze that seemed to cling to his skin abruptly vanished when his eyes landed on the cut lip and bruised jaw.

Alec's throat worked. His gaze wandered down to Logan's hands, specifically the left one with the splinted pointer finger.

The ache in his chest almost rivaled with the one on the back of his neck.

The sting pulsed to the beat of his heart. It burned with a vague sense of pain; a phantom of what it was before. Curious, Alec drew his hand back but before he could peel off the oddly shaped bulky bandage he could feel there, a hand drifted over and caught his wrist.

"Don't." Logan yawned. One hazel eye cracked open. He adjusted his glasses with a finger to the frame as he struggled to sit higher. "It only stopped bleeding an hour ago."

Tentatively, Alec felt it with a couple of pats. Rolled up pieces of gauze framed the wound; a pad was taped over it. Nothing touched the wound yet it still felt raw. 

"I'm thinking another few hours and your healing would take care of the pus too." At Alec's face, Logan's mouth wearily ticked up.

"I hope you weren't too attached to that shirt. I uh...there was too much...it was a lost cause."

Logan looked faintly ill.

Thinking quickly, Alec dropped his voice into a whine. "You stripped me and I wasn't awake to enjoy it? Aw, man." He elbowed Logan in the closest arm. "You made a pretty comfy bed too, you know."

The pink that tipped Logan's ears almost made up for the throbbing on his neck. "You kept trying to roll on your back. I tried to keep you sitting up but then you rolled, ah, onto me." Logan shrugged as his ears burned brighter. "At least this way, I can be sure your wound stayed clean and your fever down."

Fever? Alec lifted a hand to his brow. He rubbed the face towel in his grip.

"It got pretty high," Logan said, sobering despite the flush on his face. "I think your body didn't like what Lee did."

"Hell," Alec grumbled as he balled up the face towel, remembering. " _I_ didn't like what Lee did."

"So why did you let him?"

Alec flattened out the towel against his thigh. He swept a palm over it. 

"He said my bar code would stay away for six weeks," Alec said finally. 

Logan didn't visibly react. He wordlessly handed him a water bottle, which Alec drained quickly. He did the same with the second bottle.

"Damn, I was thirsty," Alec blurted as he refolded the face towel. "Great, I'm gonna need to take a piss in about five—"

"You kept asking me if it was gone."

Alec stilled.

Logan sat back, hazel eyes up to the ceiling. "Kept trying to take the bandage off, kept fighting me when I tried to stop you from scratching it. You kept asking me if it was gone."

"Oh." The towel was still damp, limp as Alec wound it around his wrist. His fingers stilled. "Is..."

"Yes, Alec, it's still gone."

But for only six weeks, Alec almost said.

It must have shown on his face though because Logan audibly sucked in his breath.

"Are we doing this again in six weeks?"

"You mean with you ripping my clothes off and us cuddling in your bed?" Alec tried for a leer but when it failed, he dropped his eyes.

"Probably not. We're made to adapt so I'll probably shake this off a hell of a lot faster the next try. The scar won't even last six weeks after a few more times." Alec started to shrug his shoulder, but he grimaced, aborting the move when his skin stretched around the shoulders. "And don't say there's gotta be a better way because I told you, if I could think of it, I would have tried it. Twice." 

"For now," Logan said quietly, "we got six weeks to think of something else."

"What do you mean 'something else'?"

"Alec, you're not going back there." Logan set his jaw. "You didn't see what I saw. If your fever hadn't gone away like it had, I was taking you to the hospital." He gestured towards Alec, his motions jerky. "Any deeper and you could have gotten permanent nerve damage and don't tell me you're a fast healer," he added when Alec opened his mouth. "You're not that fast."

"And you're going to stop me?" Alec scoffed before he could stop himself.

Logan gave a self-disparaging laugh. He smiled faintly. "I could try."

Unbidden, Alec's eyes drifted up to the bruises and cut lip. The greenish tinge of damaged flesh marked the left side of Logan's jaw, angry purple tendrils of burst capillaries spreading up to collide with the smudges under his eyes. The splinted finger in Logan's left hand was white; it flared like an accusation.

Alec's stomach twisted. He tried to smile, but it seemed like everything he did pull at his skin wrong, the tightness stretched him thin. Any minute, it felt like he would tear.

"Damn," Alec rasped. The words hurt to force out. "You need to learn to duck, Heather."

Logan's mouth moved to smile but immediately twisted to a grimace. He cupped his jaw.

"Well, you certainly don't pull your punches, Dean."

Alec smirked. "Who said I didn't? You're my favorite."

"Oh," Logan drawled, playing along. "I'm flattered."

"You should be. You're, like, my favorite this week."

"That's not saying much considering today's Monday." Logan waved towards his bed. "Rest a bit more. Let me get you some more—"

"Whoa!" Alec lunged forward to catch Logan by the shoulders when he started to pitch forward. "What the hell?"

"Head rush," Logan muttered. He shook his head. "Sat up way too fast."

"Uh huh." Alec tugged him to lie back on the bed fully. "When's the last time you ate?"

Logan looked annoyed under his ashen pallor. "What does that got to do with anything? It hasn't been a day yet."

Alec didn't like that answer, but he said nothing as he helped Logan swing his legs back up on the mattress. It was then Alec realized the leg he left his hand on was cold. Too cold. Shit. He drew up Logan's pants legs.

"What are you—"

"Lie back," Alec ordered. He shoved Logan's head none too gently to a pillow. He swore as he ran a hand up from shin to knee on Logan's left leg then right. They were pasty to the touch, cold to his hands.

"Oh," Logan said wanly when he got a good look.

"Oh?" Alec snapped. His neck ached when he reached past Logan to grab the extra pillows and tucked them under Logan's legs. "Keep them elevated. Jesus, how long was I on top of you?"

"It's not like I felt it," Logan defended and that pissed Alec off. "I don't have a lot of circulation left down there."

"No, but having me on top of you didn't help either." Alec briskly started rubbing the left calf, the heels of his hands digging into the muscles and pushing up. "Cutting off your oxygen supply is going to kill what's left in that stupid brain of yours." Alec muttered under his breath. Shit, Logan's legs were chilled, his ankles the color of a corpse. He slouched forward to get better leverage.

"Alec, don't!"

Logan's shout came at the same time pain flared up on the base of his neck the moment Alec lowered his head. His eyes watered. He hissed, reaching up to clamp down on the agony when Logan snatched his hand inches from his neck.

"Don't," panted Logan. "You really don't want to do that right now."

"No shit," Alec bit out. He breathed harshly between his teeth. He found himself slumped over Logan's lap again. 

Head spinning, Alec knocked Logan's hands away trying to keep him still. He crawled, on fours, over Logan's legs and bellyflopped onto a spot next to him. Logan tried to sit up but too dizzy, he sagged into the pillows.

The two lay there on the bed, their breaths ragged, limbs flopped to their sides, one staring blankly ceiling ward, the other blinking red-rimmed at a bazillion count thread sheets.

"Man," Alec bitched out of the blue, "We sound like a porno but we didn't have any fun."

Logan gasped out a laugh. "What kind of porn have you been watching? There's usually less clothing involved."

"That can be arranged."

Logan snorted.

Alec feebly flopped an arm towards his direction, his fingers wiggling.

"Great job undressing the air around me."

"Shut up." Alec dropped his arm across Logan's thighs. "Are you keeping your legs elevated?"

"Any higher and it'll be obscene."

Alec hummed. "But you'll look so pretty."

Logan tapped the back of his head with a careful fist.

"Ouch."

Logan's fist relaxed into gentle fingers in his hair.

Alec blinked suddenly burning eyes into the bed sheets. 

"I'll think of something else, Alec." Logan sounded hoarse. "Just...keep this as a final option. Okay? Give me a chance to fix this."

"You can't fix everything," Alec mumbled into Logan's pillow. He blinked sleepily.

Fingers dug into his scalp, pressing massaging circles.

"I have to try," Logan rasped. "Otherwise I have nothing else."

"That's not true," Alec grunted. "You have lots of things. You have a kickass place. You have a cute ass. You have m—" His throat squeezed.

"You have money," Alec finished awkwardly.

"That's not what makes a man whole," Logan murmured. His fingers gently massaged Alec's head; the splint on his finger occasionally bumped against his cheek. "I can't buy what I need."

"What do you need?" Alec mumbled drowsily. "I could probably get past the security systems."

Logan scoffed. 

Alec wanted to say something more, what, he wasn't sure, but Logan's fingers were ironing out the headache he didn't realize he carried between his shoulders. And as the headache faded, so did Alec.

If he dreamed, for once, Alec couldn't remember.

 

Alec woke up to the sensation of bobbing.

Smacking his dry lips, Alec blinked languidly as he felt himself sway up and down. He squinted then opened his eyes wider when he realized his cheek was on Logan's shoulder. He could feel the worn fabric of his sweatshirt against him. He could feel the warmth of Logan's stomach under his hand as it gently moved with each breath. He could feel the hair on his head disturbed by soft, steady exhales above him.

Alec didn't want to move.

Hell, his neck practically told him not to. It still throbbed like a hand that got too close to an open flame. His head pounded, pushing against his eyes. The rest of him though, no longer ached at the joints or coil with nausea. 

He could move; if he wanted to. He just...didn't.

Logan slept with his face turned away from Alec; his legs slipped off the pillows. He had one arm around Alec's shoulders, one folded over his stomach. Alec had turned towards Logan, head on his shoulder, one hand sandwiched between his body and Logan's hip. During his nap, delirium, sleep, _whatever_ , Alec somehow managed to throw a leg over Logan's, his feet tangled with the other's.

Huh.

Would explain why Logan's feet no longer felt like ice blocks.

Would explain Alec's hard on lazily grinding against Logan's hip.

Here. Right now, Alec should be jumping out of the bed, all _shit, crap, oops_ or jump _Logan_ because, hell, since they were already in bed...

Stirring, Logan gave a sleepy snort. 

"Um, okay?" Logan murmured drowsily. A hand reached down and curled over Alec's forehead.

Alec blinked under Logan's hand.

Sleep-glazed eyes peered down at him.

"No fever." Logan exhaled slowly. He lifted up his head and stilled, probably finally taking in Alec half draped over him.

"How are you feeling?" Logan asked, hesitantly.

Alec mumbled. He wasn't sure. He rolled his eyes up to Logan. Reluctantly, he tensed his shoulders, bracing to move.

Logan cupped the back of his head.

"Better not," Logan said quietly. "I think you should give it some more time to heal." He paused when Alec stiffened. "I meant healed enough to move. Your bar code is still gone."

"For now," Alec muttered into the soft cotton of Logan's shirt.

"We'll figure something out."

"Yeah. Sure."

"We will." Logan's hand drifted and gave him an absent scratch between the shoulders.

"I should get up," Alec grumbled. He stayed where he was though while Logan's fingers lightly danced on the small of his back. Little sparks ignited on contact.

"You need to rest."

"Normal's probably shitting over his mountain of hot runs, wondering where 'the firetruck' I am."

"Thank you for the graphic image."

Alec had flapped a hand in the air before he tucked it back in the warm cocoon their bodies created. 

Cool air teased the raw edges of Alec's neck when Logan peeled back a corner of the bandage.

"No pus." Logan carefully smoothed out the bandage. Alec shivered. "I think a few more hours should do it."

"Can we stop talking about pus?" Alec grumbled. "You're grossing me out."

Logan patted Alec's shoulder.

Under Alec's cheek, Logan seemed to sag deeper into the mattress. Alec brushed a hand down Logan's leg. He tugged up Logan's pants leg to check. He scowled.

"They're always colder," Logan murmured. His eyes were elsewhere though. "Don't worry about them."

Alec's hand retreated. "I should get off you. You make a rotten pillow."

Logan scoffed. His hand, however, splayed between Alec's shoulders.

"You kept trying to roll onto your back before. You seem fine like this."

"Of course I'm fine. Hell, this is an awesome place to be. But aren't you worried I'm going to ravish you?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm not in any ravishing condition," Logan said, droll.

Alec pressed his frown into Logan's stomach. He ought to straddle the idiot and kiss the hell out of him to prove him wrong. 

"Alec?"

"I hate it when you do that," Alec muttered.

"Do what?"

"Talk like you..." Alec started to lift his head to glower at him.

Logan's hand pressed down on his shoulders.

"You shouldn't move," Logan said. "It'll only hurt."

Alec settled back over Logan. Alec wondered if Logan realized he was shaking. He wondered if Logan knew whom he referred to about getting hurt.

Exhaling over the sweatshirt under Alec's cheek, he rubbed Logan's abdomen. He felt the muscles tense in response.

Logan fidgeted under him.

"Lightheaded still?"

Logan's voice faded to a hoarse rasp. "A little." He dropped into a silence Alec wouldn't call comfortable. He wouldn't call it awkward either. It hung over them, a storm cloud ready to burst over their heads.

Against Alec's feet, Logan's legs still felt too cool to his liking. The heat his touch left behind pink blooms on Logan's skin. It left Logan looking splotchy.

"Want me to put your legs back up?"

"No. It's fine. You shouldn't move."

Alec's hand curled over Logan's abdomen. He idly massaged a spot by his face. Logan's breath stuttered. Alec smoothed his thumb over one threadbare patch on the sweatshirt.

"I wish you hadn't gone to Lee."

Alec cautiously shrugged a shoulder. "Six weeks."

Logan sighed. "Was that how it was for you?"

"Huh?"

"Living your life on a timeline based on how long you can keep that bar code off?"

Alec grunted. "At least I'm living one out there. Better than a robot for Manticore." He experimentally moved his shoulders. Just a little, because he wanted to look Logan in the eye and asked who was living his: Logan or _Eyes Only_. But, ouch. His neck was an exposed nerve, raw and burning. 

"You?"

"Me?"

"Besides porn, how are you living your life? What do you do?" Alec held his breath, waiting.

"More porn," Logan said dryly.

Sighing, Alec stared down the length of Logan's body.

"What?"

Alec breathed out through his nose. "It's such a damn waste." 

Logan stiffened underneath him. 

Thinking quickly, Alec added, "I finally got you in bed again and I have a headache." 

Logan vibrated under Alec.

"Poor you," Logan chuckled. He swept his hand up and down Alec's back. Alec wanted to arch into that hand; he wanted to roll on top of Logan and rocked the increasingly painful erection against him. 

"Don't get any ideas," Logan warned lightly.

Alec swallowed. He glanced down at his crotch, at the bulge still grinding against Logan's hip. Logan never reacted; he didn't feel Alec humping him like—He could feel the fizzle of heat pop. His stomach dropped. God, he could be such a shit sometimes. He carefully fidgeted back a fraction.

"Nah," Alec choked out a laugh, "I meant it when I said I have a headache. Not tonight, honey."

A hand tentatively cupped the back of his head, fingers gingerly massaging into his scalp.

Suddenly lightheaded, Alec was grateful his erection was gone, but the ruched up folds of Logan's sweatpants glared back accusingly.

Carefully, Alec tugged the waistband up and smoothed it out.

"Alec?"

Throat tight, Alec pressed his mouth together. What the hell was he doing? 

"Seriously," Alec said, subdued, "If you want me to move, I will."

"Are you uncomfortable?"

No, and that was the problem. 

"Too lazy to move." Alec yawned as loud as he could without aggravating his neck and jaw. It felt like _blinking_ would hurt.

"Then take a few minutes," Logan murmured. "It should be okay to move later."

Alec draped an arm over Logan's middle. The hand in his hair paused then continued pressing tiny circles into his scalp, sending ripples that loosened the vise around his head and down his spine.

"Don't get any ideas," Alec mumbled. He smirked sleepily at the snort above him.

Alec rubbed his face over Logan's chest. His erection was thankfully gone. There was still a curl of heat lingering in his belly though. He felt perfectly fine to lay here, both with their clothes on, warm, sleepy and doing nothing. He didn't feel like getting the hell out of here. He didn't feel like reaching up and kissing Logan awake, kissing his body awake. He just felt like lying there, on top of Logan, warm despite the fact the blanket had pooled to the floor and listen to Logan breathe.

Weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! This section desperately needed a check and double-check as verb tenses bounced in every direction. We'll be returning to the regularly scheduled Tuesdays. Thank you for your patience!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains spoilers to "Out".

Normal has eyes on the side of his head.

"Hey!"

Alec cringed—no, he didn't—with one foot into the men's side of the locker room. He was hoping to sneak by during one of Normal's "Hot run! Hot run!" tirades. 

Sketchy shot him a look, half grimace, half shrug that summed up to "sucks to be you" and rode out of _Jam Pony_ , snatching up yet another hot run, sent off with Normal's "No riding on the premise!"

Original Cindy glanced around her locker. She studied Alec up and down. Her shoulders relaxed and she nodded. Alec nodded back. 

"Get over here!"

Alec shot Cindy a woeful look, but he only received a smirk in return. He sighed. While Normal was no Lydecker, his tendency to yell was annoying. He didn't need a job, but the leads were good so getting fired wouldn't be convenient. Normal, however, liked to fire people two or three times a day on a regular basis. Plus, his breath sometimes smelled like overcooked onions. Yuck. 

"Look. I know it's been a few days," Alec smiled as he spread opens his hands, "But..."

"Next time one of our customers wants to hire you guys for the day," Normal exasperated as he tossed over a clipboard. Alec caught before it could ruin his nose. "Let the guy know they're supposed to give a forty eight hour notice."

Alec blinked at the forms. They were faxed over, backdated and signed by Logan Cale. 

Throat working, Alec brushed a thumb over the lopsided _L_.

"He can't just call us up saying he wants to hire one of our guys for a couple of days." Normal screwed up his face as if he smelled something foul. He sighed, exasperated. "But since he's one of our premium accounts and pays on time, we'll make an exception, but just this once. Next time—"

"Forty eight hour notice, got it," Alec recited. Normal glowered over the top of his rims at him. Logan did it better. He grinned at Normal. "What can I say? The guy was impressed."

Normal grunted, snapped his fingers until Alec passed him the completed forms.

 

Stupid Steelheads. 

The metal-for-brains gangsters were shaking down any messenger crossing their streets. Not risking his still aching neck, Alec had to avoid them and now he was late.

"Hey. Howdy, bike's parked outside, _Jam Pony_ , yeah, twenty-seventh floor, I know, okay, bye."

Alec darted into the elevator before it shut. Which, one, was too bad because he caught the security guard's "Oh, it's _you_ " scowlly face before the doors closed. But, two, it wasn't too bad because he was able to catch Mrs. Moreno's oranges before they rolled out of the torn bag and into the lobby.

"Thank you," Mrs. Moreno started to say until she realized who it was when she looked up. "Hello."

Alec grinned at her smile as he gathered up the fruit into his arms. "Good morning."

"Are you visiting that sweet man, Logan again?"

 _Sweet?_ Alec's smile broadened. "As a matter of fact, I am, but why don't I carry these up for you first, Mrs. Moreno?"

"That's so nice of you." Mrs. Moreno patted his arm with a small gloved hand. "Oh my, you're quite strong. Do you play sports?"

Alec shrugged. "I like doing outdoor activity." _Like rappelling tall buildings, climb through skylights, and breaking into air vents..._

Her blue eyes brightened at that. "Oh, good for you. Sports are very healthy. I always thought it was a shame Logan stopped playing basketball, but he said work kept him too busy."

Alec fought to keep his expression intact. "Basketball?" he said innocently. 

Mrs. Moreno squinted into her purse, looking for her keycard. The fancy box hat she wore kept tipping forward, squashing flat her carefully pinned up snowy white hair "He used to go play an hour at the park by Smithe after his sessions with Bling. I wonder how Bling is these days? I haven't seen him in so long. Do you know him?"

Alec's stomach clenched. He forced his smile to stay up. "I heard he's in Chicago...with his sister."

Mrs. Moreno hummed as she checked her shopping cart next. "Good for him. Pity though. He seemed like a nice man. I don't see Logan too often any more. He must be so busy with work still."

Alec lifted the keycard she had tucked into her coat pocket. "I think you dropped this." He was sure he got a sunburn from the smile Mrs. Moreno gave. He found himself smiling goofily at the back of her head as she turned to swipe her card.

The button for the twenty-seventh floor was unlit. He noted Mrs. Moreno needed to be on her tippy toes before she could tap at her button above Logan's with a little stick she carried in her purse. He wondered how Logan reached his when he was on his own. 

Alec nodded numbly as Mrs. Moreno prattled on about how Logan used to carry her bags on his lap every time they bumped into each other on the street. She mused how Logan always said hello to her when he used to run into her in the elevator after his trips to the library. She used to see him in the coffeehouse at the corner and he had always made a point to wave hello. She used to see him coming back with a bag from _Stella's Bakery_ , cheeks pink because only she knew he had a weakness for their lemon danishes.

Used to. It was a term Logan said a lot as well. Alec wondered if there was a lot of other things Logan used to do and if anyone besides Mrs. Moreno had noticed. If anyone knew _Eyes Only_ took over what _used to_ be Logan's life. Or did Logan only reside in idle conversations now, talked about like he only existed in the past?

The oranges were heavier in Alec's arms now. He stared at the dark twenty-seventh button all the way to Mrs. Moreno's floor.

 

The fist hovered by the door.

Alec hesitated, his good mood evaporating in the face of the door when he remembered _why_ it has been two days. His fist curled tighter and he knocked, louder than necessary.

The door opened slowly and for a beat, Alec and Logan stared at each other.

 _Awkward_.

"Ding dong, _Jam Pony_." Alec wiggled his fingers. "Hey."

Logan blinked. A shadow crossed his face. He smiled back, lopsided, half-heartedly that left Alec feeling like...he wasn't sure what he was feeling. His stomach cramped like he ate something bad. His throat tasted sour. He felt himself scrambling.

"Here."

Logan caught the orange before Alec could bounce it off his chin.

"Mrs. Moreno," Alec explained as he entered the penthouse. If he paused at the faint scent of coffee and ink, he was going to deny it. 

Alec did his usual visual sweep. Nothing has changed; Logan still carried his gun between his right hip and chair. The computers in the office area were humming, but their monitors were shut. Everything looked exactly the way Alec left it two days ago. He could have sworn the mug on Logan's dining table hadn't moved an inch.

For some reason, the status quo pissed Alec off.

"Mrs. Moreno?" Logan echoed as he gave the orange an experimental whiff before stretching up to put it in the fruit bowl. He grunted as he reached.

Alec stared at the fleece blanket rolled up and tucked in the wheelchair. He averted his eyes.

"Yeah. Her groceries were trying to make a break for it so I carried them upstairs for her," Alec mumbled as he looked around. 

"Carl wasn't with her?" Logan frowned. 

Alec's eyebrows shot up. "She has a _Carl_?" Whoa, way to go, Mrs. Moreno.

Logan peered over his glasses at Alec. "Her _attendant_."

"Oh." Alec grinned cheekily at Logan, who rolled his eyes in return.

"She hired him after her fall last year." At Alec's furrowed brow, Logan shook his head. "Nothing serious. Bump on the head. But she was alone when she fell. Her sink had overflowed; I was downstairs..." Logan cleared his throat. 

"Anyway, she hired Carl when she came back."

Alec shrugged. "She didn't say. Hey, I was only bringing up her groceries, we didn't swap life stories." He snorted.

"What?"

Alec gestured towards the ceiling. "She invited me in; walking into a fancy place using a _door_ takes some getting used to."

Logan chuckled. He rolled to the fridge. "You hungry?"

"You mean you didn't hear my stomach growling all the way from sector two?"

"That was you?" Logan countered lightly. He seemed to have relaxed as he stayed by the fridge. "No peanut butter today. Ham good?"

Alec smacked his lips. "Yeah, thanks." Alec watched the line of Logan's back as he leaned into the fridge for a few minutes. He hastily redirected his scrutiny to the apartment when Logan straightened.

"How's your neck feeling?" Logan asked, muffled behind the fridge door as he pulled various items to put on his lap.

"Okay. It's starting to scab over." Alec set a palm on one of the folder towers on the dining table. Yup. They're higher by five inches today.

"Any pus?"

"Seriously? What did I tell you about that?" Alec griped as he moved away from Mount Cale before he was tempted to peruse.

"Sorry," Logan deadpanned. "Any discharge?" He scowled when Alec looked over his shoulder with a blatant leer. "Alec."

"Fine, fine," Alec grumbled. "No. Nothing. Wound's dry. Pus free. Yippee."

"Don't start picking at it yet," Logan warned.

There was still a book half hidden in the couch cushions. Alec frowned. It was there when he had squatted here during Logan's Cape Haven trip. He pulled it out and checked. The dog-eared corner was still on the same page. 

" _Alec_."

"Yeah, yeah," Alec muttered, distracted as he flipped through the book. He found a receipt from eight months back slipped in it. "No picking. Got it."

Everything looked exactly the same. The book's worn halfway, the rest of its pages still crisp and new. Alec remembered a coating of dust on the television screen when he hacked into it to play the video of the shooting. Alec ran a finger across other surfaces. He was surprised his finger's clean of dust.

Logan shot Alec a curious look but didn't comment as he rolled to the couch with the plate of sandwiches.

Alec shrugged as he turned his clean finger towards Logan. "You keep a spotless place."

" _Okay_ ," Logan drew out. "Thank you?"

"Mrs. Moreno's was clean too but she's got a lot of weird stuff. What's the deal with all those dolls anyway?" Alec shuddered. 

"Oh, those. I saw them once." Logan smirked faintly in memory. "They are disconcerting, aren't they?"

"The way those porcelain eyes stared? Yeah. I was feeling violated."

The couch went _poof_ when Alec dropped into it. He took care not to bump his neck though. It still ached like a _bitch_ , not that he would ever tell Logan that. Or Cindy. She had been glaring at him after he showed her. Instead of declaring it "cool" and "wicked" like Sketchy did, she's been giving him a scowl that rivaled Lydecker's—geez, what's her problem?

Alec pursed his lips at the plate on the coffee table.

"What?"

"You're not keeping me company?" Alec whined. "I hate it when people watch me eat. I'm very self conscious!"

Logan scoffed. He blinked, taken aback, when Alec waved the plate at him. He sighed as he gingerly took one sandwich and set it on the coffee table.

"Couch?" Alec patted the seat next to him. "Or..." He patted his thighs and waggled his eyebrows.

Logan primly chose the couch.

Alec pouted before he took a bit of the sand— _whoa._

Screwing up his face, Alec pinched his burning nose. Holy shit.

"What the hell?" Alec managed. 

Logan snorted as he nudged over a water bottle. "I take it the horseradish was strong?"

"Strong? It got up and slapped me!" Alec guzzled down half a bottle before he took another bite. His eyes watered. Yikes.

"Alec, if it's not to your liking, don't eat it." Logan frowned.

Alec shook his head as he crammed the last morsel into his mouth. It burned all the way down. He finished the rest of the water.

"And waste food?" Alec wheezed as he fanned his mouth. "No way. I've learned you eat when you can because your next meal might be never."

"That's a harsh way to see it," Logan murmured. He glanced down at his half of the sandwich. He took a bite thoughtfully. 

Alec grunted as he took the last sandwich. He peeled the thick bread back and grimaced when he spotted the yellow slick between the generous slices of ham. Logan even splurged on lettuce.

"It's not a philosophy." Alec chomped through half of the sandwich with teary eyes. "Voice of experience. Manticore believed in earning your meal ticket." The second half didn't burn as badly as he adapted quickly to the condiment's bite.

Logan sobered. "When you put it that way..."

Alec wanted to pump a victory fist in the air when Logan finished his share. He rewarded Logan with a loud burp the moment he looked up.

"My compliments," Alec quipped. He grinned toothily at Logan's glare. "Thanks for lunch but I better blaze before Normal goes into a fit wondering where I am. I think he has attachment issues."

A flicker crossed Logan's face Alec almost thought was disappointment before it schooled into a serious expression. Logan transferred back into his wheelchair and steered for the office.

Alec gathered up the plate and empty water bottle—after all, Heather cooked and everything—and headed to the kitchen.

"Hey, what's for dinner?" Alec called out as he popped the fridge door open. He frowned at the contents. Come to think of it, wasn't that the same bottle of goat's milk from before? He checked the expiration date. His frown deepened. His stomach churned when he realized the fridge looked exactly the same when he left two days ago, save a package of ham that had a delivery sticker from yesterday.

"Not tonight." Logan sounded regretful. "I have something to do at seven."

"Hot date?" Alec joked although he already knew the answer. He didn't get off until nine tonight. Damn it.

Logan scoffed but didn't answer.

Alec frowned as he stepped away from the fridge, aka time capsule. 

"Curfew's at ten today," Alec pointed out. "They're scheduling brownouts at midnight."

Logan grimaced as he scribbled something on a brown paper-wrapped box on his lap.

"Only time we could meet," Logan murmured as he filled out the _Jam Pony_ label.

"Meet who?" 

Logan looked up, his face deliberately blank.

"My hot date," Logan said dryly.

"Uh huh."

"Alec—"

Alec's mouth snapped shut. He gritted his teeth. "No, forget I asked, okay?" 

Logan studied Alec; he nodded, looking relieved. Too relieved. Alec wanted to walk right up to him and shake him. Alec wondered if Logan was always this god damn idiotic, going off on his own. Or did Logan Cale _used to_ be more sensible?

"This package needs a signature this time so—"

"We should go out," Alec blurted.

Logan froze midway, his chair halted between the office and the kitchen. "What?"

"I mean..." Alec reached up to rub his neck until he remembered the bandage there. "Uh, for the neck thing and using you as a body pillow and throwing up on your roof."

"Oh." Logan took his time putting down the box on the counter. "That's all right. You don't have to than—"

"We could get a bite to eat," Alec hastened before Logan finished. "There's this decent place that's sometimes on Fifth. Great food. Nothing fancy. I mean, no matching napkins and stuff but the food's good. It used to be an old railcar..." He stopped when he remembered the steps. 

"There's also a good place on Way for burgers," Alec finished lamely.

Logan laughed, strained. Alec inwardly flinched. 

"Tired of my cooking already?" The wheelchair creaked when Logan retreated deeper into the kitchen. 

"No, figured it be nice to eat out there, you know." Alec slid his hands in his pockets. "Let someone else cook for a change."

Logan gave Alec a funny frown.

"Okay, what's that for?"

"You're not usually into the nightlife unless you're breaking into it."

Alec grinned. "Good times."

"What have you been telling everyone about your neck?"

Alec blinked at the non-sequitur. "Been telling everyone I took an asphalt slide." Normal muttered it had better not been worked related. "Sketchy wanted to see the scar."

"Pretty soon, it'll start itching." Alec sobered. "And I'll be right back where I started."

"Not for another five weeks," Logan murmured as if it was perfectly natural for him to be keeping track. "We'll figure out something before then."

Alec grimaced. "Yeah, well, for the past two years, I've been trying every tattoo place."

"Two years?" Logan smiled tightly. "So this has all been pretty recent for you."

Alec cautiously lifted his shoulders. His neck twinged. He balanced the box against his hip. "Two years. Twenty. It's all the same if they catch me." Suddenly, he wished he shut his mouth because he caught the pained look across Logan's face. 

"So ah, yeah, you need a signature." Alec cleared his throat as he pulled out the receipts and forms. "Here. You're a writer, go write stuff in them. I'm raiding your fridge."

"No egg rolls today," Logan said almost absently.

"Thank God, my sweat started smelling like MSG after that time." 

Logan scoffed distractedly.

Alec stared at the bent of Logan's index finger crooked around the pen. Logan's hands were surprisingly graceful, long with squared tips, wide across the knuckles, thin but not skeletal. A pianist's hands; the hand span was wide enough to easily jump from a C sharp to the next octave down. Alec could picture Logan with a careful artist touch, cradling everything in his hands with an archeologist's care. 

Logan paused, perhaps sensing Alec's stare. He looked up, puzzled, his fingers still curled loosely around the pen.

"Nothing in the fridge?" Logan asked.

Alec roused. He waved towards the fridge. "You should know."

"Probably not." Logan laughed self-deprecatingly. "I barely remember what's in there most of the time."

"Yeah, there are probably things in there that should be earmarked for those old Superfund stuff." It still boggled Alec to hear the government once had enough money to clean up _water_. He made a face towards the fridge.

Alec shifted from foot to foot. "You sure you don't want to grab a bite to eat one day? I think anything new you put in there would go bad on principle."

Logan's expression shuttered. "It's fine." He gestured vaguely to his office area.

Not pushing his luck, Alec shrugged. He wished his neck would stop punishing him by burning with each move. "Fine but would you please get something decent in there by ten? I'll come back and raid your fridge then."

Logan blinked.

"What? You're not feeding me dinner?" Alec said with mock outrage. "Some pal you are!" He snickered when Logan huffed.

"So, ten?" Alec ventured. He held his breath.

Logan looked taken aback. It took him a few seconds before he managed, "Sure."

 _Used to_. 

Mrs. Moreno's voice rang in Alec's ears. He felt a lump in his throat, his knees aching to move. It was why, he reasoned, Alec took a step towards Logan to...to do what? 

Logan knitted his brow. "Sure."

Alec stopped himself from taking another step to do whatever it was his body was screaming for him to do. He schooled a smirk on his face.

"I'll even show up on time."

Logan scoffed. "Have fun at work," he called out as Alec headed for the door.

Alec stuck his head back into the hallway. "You really know how to hurt a guy."

Logan's chuckles stayed with Alec all day.

 

No alarm.

Alec frowned as he considered the window opened a crack, its alarm glaringly disarmed. He pressed his face to the pane and squinted into the room.

No Logan either.

The living room was pitch-black when Alec slipped inside. As he uncoupled his rigging, he surveyed the space. In an odd sense of déjà vu, Alec narrowed his eyes as he focused in the dark. Everything took on a yellowish hue as his night vision expanded. 

The first thing Alec checked was the gun drawer in the office space. He set his jaw when sure enough, it was empty, the box of ammo missing a new row of bullets.

Down the hallway, his lesbian vases greeted him.

"You know where Heather went, ladies?" Alec muttered. He absently patted one porcelain cheek when he drifted by. He peeked into the guest room, guest bath, exercise room and the living room; nothing offered a clue. Turning on all the lights bode nothing new, either.

Alec poked his head into the fridge. He arched his eyebrow at what looked like disks of breaded meat slathered in cheese and sauce inside a square glass dish. He pulled the dish out and set it on the counter and just for the hell of it, plucked the orange that was still in the fruit bowl.

The tangy bite of citrus filled his nostrils as he idly peeled the thin pimply orange skin. He leaned over the counter, elbows on the surface as he split the fruit into sunny segments. He popped one slice in his mouth and let the juice burst between his teeth. The pith was bitter, but he didn't mind it. It was a good bitter; not a _flavor enhancement_ courtesy of Chez Manticore. Lydecker occasionally liked to add stuff in their food to see if the X-5s would notice. Some were okay. Some...not so okay.

One by one, Alec ate each orange segment, savored how the pith and the skin were mildly bitter on his tongue, the fruit sweet at first bite, then tangy the next.

Alec licked the juice from the corner of his mouth. He gathered up the seeds he spat out and arranged a pigpen cipher with the seeds and thin, white strips of pith.

He knew what he was doing.

He was being a chicken ass, hiding in the kitchen when there was one more room he should search.

With a sharp exhale, Alec ran his finger across the cipher that spelled out _cock_ and glowered across the bedroom door.

It was just a stupid bedroom. Carpet, walls, closet, dresser, bed. _Logan's_ bed.

_Alec woke up burrowed against Logan, a hand curled on the small of his back to prevent him from rolling supine. Alec was thankfully not humping Logan's leg anymore, but there was still an erection. It just wasn't his._

_It's normal, Alec thought, his mouth dry. Morning wood was a given for any guy, even if their dreams were mundane. So Logan has one. Big deal. Okay, maybe it was a big deal. An impressive one, in fact. Even half erect, the bulge under the sweatpants looked like a good size._

_Alec's mouth watered at the thought of letting it slide over his tongue, feel it stiffen in his mouth and he would slide a slicked finger into..._

Alec growled, mentally jerking himself from the memory of the swell under soft fabric and the heat when Alec had hesitantly cupped it like a fucking perv.

The seeds clattered to the floor with an easy swipe.

 _This was why you stayed away_ , Alec reminded himself as he stood with his feet shoulder's width apart in the kitchen. He felt the burn on his face, like Lee had scoured off the skin there instead of the bar code on his neck.

 _Logan didn't feel it._

_When Logan didn't stir after Alec curled a loose hand over it, Alec snatched his hand back. And that woke Logan up._

Alec crouched to the floor. His hands shook as he picked up the seeds one by one.

_Pretending to be asleep was Manticore 101. Alec felt Logan staring at the back of his head for a long time. He felt Logan card fingers carefully over the back of his head. He felt Logan check his brow for fever._

_Alec felt Logan when he must have looked down at himself._

The remaining seeds blurred. Alec's eyes inexplicably burned as he remembered the sudden intake of breath, the slight bounce of the bed as Logan eased himself into his chair and the _click_ of the bathroom door.

_He heard the choked off sound Logan made; the harsh rasp of dry skin as Logan got rid of his morning erection with perfunctory strokes. There was a musky smell after a minute. The sink gurgled as he washed his hands. But there had been no sounds of pleasure. Not even a sigh._

_Logan left the bathroom and paused to check on Alec again before he went to his office. Moments later, typing filled in the silence._

Alec had slipped out an hour later. He stuck a Post-it on the imprint on the pillow that read _Thanks. XOXO, Alec_ and ducked out the window. He knew Logan heard him go. Did he know Alec had heard him before?

And now Heather was out there, past—shit, _ten forty_ —curfew with a gun and a few lousy bullets.

The seeds pinged, rain on the metal, when Alec tossed them. He stared at the bedroom door again. He peeled back the black tape and checked his watch again. Ten forty three.

Alec set his jaw, pivoted towards the door. He froze when he heard the rattle of a door knob.

Thinking quickly, Alec hurried to the couch. He went to the front. Nah. The back. Then inspiration struck; he folded himself over the back of the couch, his ass facing the hallway.

The squeak of the treads stilled at the living room.

Alec wiggled his butt in front of Logan so the guy wouldn't freak out thinking there was a cute dead body in his couch.

"Alec?" Logan asked warily.

"I'm dead," Alec announced into the couch cushions. "I died of neglect and starvation."

Logan chuckled, "You look all right to me." 

Alec clenched his ass cheeks. 

"Why _thank you_ ," Alec cooed as he straightened up. Ouch. His stupid neck pulled. He swung around and grinned. "I knew you appreciated me."

Logan didn't sputter or blush, for once. Instead, he glowered at Alec.

"I wasn't talking about that," Logan grumbled but his mouth twitched as he rolled into the kitchen. He spotted the dish on the counter.

"You could have eaten sooner if you helped put this in the oven," Logan pointed out as he stooped carefully to open the lower oven door. 

"Hell, I would have just eaten whatever that was right out of that pan." Alec frowned when he spied Logan slipping his gun out of his holster and tucking it back into the space between his hip and chair. It killed his appreciative view of the cream sweater that hugged Logan's torso like it was saying "Mine." 

"You're late. How was your hot date?" Alec winced at how loud his voice was. Logan must have thought so as well; he looked at Alec, startled. 

"Not too hot." Logan's voice was clipped. He shrugged out of his thick leather jacket and tossed it to Alec. "Didn't show." 

The jacket smelled salty, a tinge of rotting fish. Alec scowled to himself as he dropped it in the couch. The idiot was by the docks again. 

"Second thoughts?" Alec studied Logan. There was a bit of wind burn on his face. So he was outside and not in his car. Alec's frown deepened. 

"Or dead," Logan muttered as he stuck his head in the fridge. Face hidden in view, Alec caught only his shoulders tensing at the slip.

"Want me to go check?" Alec offered tentatively. 

The shoulders, if anything, stiffened further.

"There's a curfew and a brown out coming." Logan seemed fascinated with the whole lot of nothing in his fridge. Alec could hear the self-deprecating tone. "There really isn't anything in here." 

"Curfews and brown outs are for you mere mortals," Alec pointed out. "I mean, your _date_ stood you up, don't you want to know why?"

Logan's spine was ramrod straight now. "Forget it, Alec."

Alec pressed his mouth thin. "Fine." Logan's rigid posture ached just looking at him, so Alec added, "I'm too weak with hunger to do squat for you anyway."

Logan relaxed. He rolled back from the fridge.

"I guess that answers my question if I should make garlic bread or not."

"Well, _duh_."

 

"This is my favorite," Alec declared as he wiped his plate clean with the last of the buttery garlic bread. He punctuated his statement with a burp.

Logan made a face, but he smiled faintly as he speared a thin strip of chicken and took a bite as well. Tomato sauce painted the corner of his mouth again. Logan absently licked the corner clean with a sly flick of a pink tongue. He nibbled his lower lip to capture the string of white stretchy cheese.

Oh yeah, this was Alec's _favorite_. 

"What do you call this again?" Alec tore his eyes away from Logan's mouth. He was checking if Logan was going to finish that, that's all.

"Chicken parmesan."

"Chicken parmesan is _awesome_." Alec glowered at Logan's smirk. "What?"

"That's what you said about nutmeg too."

"Speaking of which..." Alec cast hopeful eyes at Logan.

Logan chuckled and the sound of it sank into Alec's skin. "In the fridge. Bottom shelf."

Alec beamed. His smile widened as Logan finished his chicken. 

"There's more," Alec invited, pointing at the platter between them with his knife. He frowned when Logan shook his head. "Seriously? What's wrong with it?" He eyed the remaining chicken cutlets slathered in cheese and sauce with mock suspicion.

"Nothing." Logan was already clearing his spot, stacking fork and knife with his plate. Balancing them on his lap, he rolled into the kitchen. "I'm full."

 _Uh huh._ Alec scowled at the remaining food.

"Well, I can't finish this. If I do, I'm going to have trouble fitting through my window." Alec patted his stomach. "Four's enough." His brow knitted.

"Why did you make so much if you weren't going to eat them?"

"Figured you could take the rest and have them for lunch or breakfast."

"Cool if I have a fridge." Alec peered into the platter with regret. "I'm lucky I have a door."

Logan frowned. "I'm pretty sure there are other places you could live."

"Plenty. I think I lived in most of them already." 

"A lot of squatter buildings were retrofitted after the Pulse and the two real estate market crashes." Logan carefully balanced a tray with bowls of apple cobbler on his lap. "Ma—One of my friends lived in a unit that even had running water. Most of the time."

"Hey, mine's too. I like not being smelly!" 

Logan rolled his eyes. "What I mean is there are places you could stay that have utilities."

"Sure, you pay a lot for a place like that. It's great if you plan on sticking around to use them."

For some reason, Logan stilled. He recovered quickly to put the cobblers on the table.

"True," Logan said casually. "No point if you're not planning to stay long."

"Right." Alec was relieved Logan understood, not that he needed to explain his dump-of-the-week philosophy. "What's the point of paying a month's worth of rent if I'm moving to the next dump in a wee—what?" 

Logan looked startled. His mouth snapped shut.

"Right. Of course," Logan said. He stared blankly at the cobblers. "I forgot the forks." He steered back for the kitchen.

Alec studied the spoons on the table before he turned around to straddle the chair to watch Logan get the forks.

"You're weirder than usual," Alec observed. He watched Logan looking for the forks like he forgot he kept on the lower drawer next to the sink. "Why?"

"Hm?" Logan shook his head. "No. Nothing."

"Still thinking about your hot date?" Alec arched an eyebrow when Logan grabbed two spoons again. _Okay_. 

"Not much of a hot date if you get stood up."

Alec scowled to himself as he noted the raw looking wind burn on Logan's cheeks. They haven't faded yet.

"I would never stand you up." Alec grinned, unapologetic at the sharp look Logan gave him. "I might make _you_ pay, rich guy and all, but I wouldn't leave you standing outside past curfew."

"I'm very particular about my _dates_ ," Logan said shortly. He blinked when he realized there were _two_ spoons on the table now.

"Hey, me too. I'm very selective!" Alec sat forward and rested his chin on a fist. He pretended to bat his eyes at Logan.

"For you though, I'll make an exception." 

Logan stared blankly at Alec. He cleared his throat and ducked his head to poke at dessert.

"Thank you, I think."

"Hey, I can come with you next time," Alec offered as he stabbed his spoon deep enough it already struck bottom. The spoon made an odd scraping sound against the ceramic. He grimaced.

Logan tensed minutely even though he wasn't looking at Alec. "Alec, it's fine."

"You sure?" Alec leered. "Think about it. _Threesome_."

Logan sputtered. His spoon clattered to the table. 

"No," Logan managed as he chuckled, "Really, that's all right. T-thank you, though."

"Suit yourself. Your loss though."

"I'll survive." Logan smiled as he began to eat his dessert.

Watching Logan surreptitiously, Alec scowled. 

 

This was the third time.

Alec ground his teeth together because seriously? The abandoned ball field construction was not an ideal place for sneaky meetings. 

The stack of pallets Alec crouched behind smelled like mildew and vomit. He screwed up his nose; beggars, choosers, etcetera. It was the best vantage point; just not the best smelling. He leaned away from the corner, but not too far that it would strain his neck. The collar of his denim jacket rubbed uncomfortably against the gauze he'd changed this morning.

Okay, so maybe he exaggerated a little when he told Logan the wound was healing.

Alec squinted across the patch of dirt that was supposed to be a softball field until the Pulse robbed it of its funds. He grimaced as the noise around him grated his ears.

A lopsided wire fence surrounded most of the plot, not that it had been enough to deter scavengers from stripping anything of value. It creaked every time a breeze blew through it. Seagulls cawed overhead, inland because of an incoming storm. Empty beer cans rattled as they rolled around the pockmarked field. 

Alec heard his pager buzzing in his pocket. It was either Original Cindy or Normal wondering where he was. Either that or Alec was fired. Whatever. He concentrated on what was in front of him, forty nine meters away. A skeletal frame of steel and rebar stood between one side of the defunct field and smooth paved road that led out to the highway. Logan hid under that net of metal instead of basking in the warm late afternoon sun.

Something has been going on since Logan's date stood him up last week. Logan had ordered messenger service a dozen times in the past three days alone. Normal swooned at the uptick in business. Sketchy swore Normal was going to send Logan a bouquet of flowers if business kept coming.

Alec peered through his scope. Logan sat in his wheelchair, in a leather barn jacket that was more flattering than functional. He wore his shoulder holster over a tan sweater, but no body armor underneath. And he was unaware he was followed. Again. 

_Damn it, Heather._

At least Logan was under the unfinished bleachers, not out in the open. So long the damn thing doesn't collapse, that is.

Alec tensed as a shadow peeled away from behind the bleachers. He narrowed his eyes, tracking it until the shape and height registered. Alec relaxed.

"Your boss is getting tough on Bronck there," Matt Sung said by way of greeting. He had opted for a dark brown blazer instead of his usual long trench. 

"Word on the street is he's feeling the pressure."

"Good. Someone needed to lean on him." Logan pulled out a folded piece of paper from his jacket. "Some of Bronck's known shell companies. If your department starts investigating them, show up with search warrants and tie up his money, maybe it'll slow down his other import business."

"We've locked up some of his offices already," Sung sighed. "This guy seems to have his hand in everything."

"Not everything," Logan said cryptically. "My boss narrowed it down to four possibilities."

"Four is doable." Sung cheered up considerable. "I think I can rustle up the manpower for four." 

Logan offered a tight smile. 

Sung frowned. "You okay?"

"Tired." Rubbing his shoulder, Logan grimaced. "It's been a long week. One of our informants went off the grid."

Sung pursed his lips. "Should I start checking the morgues for any John Does?"

Logan reluctantly nodded. "I think we better change our meeting schedules in the meantime as well."

Sung glanced around, his shoulders tensed. "Trouble?"

"Trying to keep someone out of it."

Alec scowled.

Sung relaxed minutely. "I doubt you're referring to yourself?"

Logan scoffed tiredly. "Hardly. Look, I'm pretty sure we're forcing Bron—"

Even from where Alec stood, he heard the squeal of a van's brakes the same time Logan did. He jumped up the same time Logan pulled out his gun. 

Sung's gun was in his grip by the time Alec came out of hiding.

Six men burst out of van. The burly men dressed in gray suits. They looked like well-dressed Manticore rip-offs. They had the numbers in brute force, if not brains. 

By the time Alec vaulted over the fence, he mentally labeled each one. One to Six. The guy he named One was already dead. Sung was on top of another trying to pull Logan off his chair.

Alec knew Logan spotted him because he fought with renewed fervor and a ruthlessness Alec knew came out of Cape Haven. He shot Three, who was aiming for Alec, in the back. But then he was knocked out of his chair by a sneering Five.

A growl erupted from Alec's throat. His legs ate across the last seventeen meters in seconds. He reached them in time to dislocate the meaty shoulder of Sung's attacker, Two, before he could throw another punch. The joint made a loud popping _crack_.

Two screamed like a girl. 

Alec felt no remorse.

Sung threw off Two. He spared Alec a startled look. He must have determined Alec was a friendly because he abruptly aimed his gun elsewhere.

Behind Alec, Five yelped. 

Six charged Sung. The two collided in a tumble of grunts and fists.

Alec spun around to his next target: Four. A punch to Four's solar plexus sent him flying past Logan. Logan didn't look though; Five had recovered. The broad, square jawed asshole hauled Logan off the ground, away from his gun, away from Alec.

"Hey!" Alec snarled as he reached out to grab the bastard. He felt Logan crash into his legs when Five let go. Self preservation overrules brutality. Alec didn't stop to appreciate the fact. He was too busy trying to cave in the bastard's face. 

Six came from behind.

A blow to the back of Alec's neck nearly drove him to his knees. White heat exploded and shot up to his head. Alec's fist shook and missed Five's chin.

Sensing an advantage, Six slammed down his hand in an unforgiving chop.

Alec dropped. 

Eyes streaming, Alec curled a hand around his throbbing nape. He barely made out Four and Six dragging Logan and Sung away, Five limping ahead to the van.

"Alec!" Logan sounded more worried than afraid. He wrenched an elbow back into Four's belly. Four doubled over. He then toppled into the guy lugging Sung. All three fell into the dirt in a tangle of limbs.

Six snarled as he staggered to his feet. He kicked Logan hard in the stomach.

Logan stopped moving.

A roar broke free. Alec staggered to his feet, fueled by the agony on his neck and the sight of the men roughly shoving an unconscious Logan into the backseat. He caught up with Six trying to pick up a rousing Sung. Alec could only grab a handful of suit before it slipped out of his grasp. Sung was abandoned for freedom.

 _Black minivan, broken left tail light, no plates, no bumper._ Alec filed it all away even as he forced himself back on his feet. The car doors slammed. There was a warning shot spat by his feet. But Alec only saw the van. He only saw Logan's head lolled back the rear window. _Ten meters. Eight meters._

The engine roared. Alec clenched his jaw, forced his feet to move. _Move._

_Five meters. Three meters. Six meters. Ten met—no!_

Legs burning, his neck a rigid mass of pain, Alec came to a halt, gasping. He stared after the van, his pain forgotten for something else.

Alec stood there, his hands curled into tight fists as something else began to hurt more than his neck.

"Damn it." Sung staggered to his feet with an arm wrapped around his middle. He flicked a look up and down Alec. His eyes drifted to the back of Alec's head. 

Strangely, Sung's posture relaxed. 

"You're here from _Eyes Only_?"

"I'm here for Logan," Alec bit out. He glared at the empty road. 

Behind him, Two whimpered as he came to.

Slowly, Alec turned around and stared hard at the remaining thug.

Two defiantly sneered.

"Hey," Alec said calmly to Sung, "Mind giving us some privacy?"

 

"He didn't know anything, but it's safe to say he's from Bronck," Alec said brusquely to a pacing Sung when he emerged out from behind the bleachers. He ignored the hoarse sob of relief at his heels. He ignored Sung's slightly ill expression. Alec's neck pulsed and probably started bleeding again. None of it mattered, damn it.

"Did they know where they were supposed to take us?" Sung didn't look past Alec's shoulder at Two. The bastard wasn't going anywhere. Not for the next few months at least and maybe after a pin or five in his femur first. 

"Only the driver knew." Alec paused at the rumpled yellowing handkerchief Sung offered. It was patched up over and over with tiny black stitches by a careful hand. 

Alec cleaned the blood off his knuckles, but he didn't bother trying to get it out of his nails. Blood never came out of those easily. 

Sung set his jaw. "Did he tell you anything else?"

Alec darkened. "Only that he had overheard something about a shipment at midnight."

"Shit," Sung swore. "We've been trying to find out what they were and where. They kept rotating airstrips and paperwork. Logan said his boss had narrowed down the list to four, but he didn't tell me which four." Sung punched the fence he leaned against. "Logan was the only one who could reach his boss."

"I think I can find out," Alec said evenly.

 

He beat his record by four minutes.

The time it took to bypass the cameras, get on the roof and rappel down to Logan's floor felt like it took too long though. Alec was tempted to barrel through the lobby, but some of Seattle's finest was outside accepting a bribe.

The glass partitions rattled when Alec shouldered past them into the computer area. He ignored the noise generators. He ignored the camera equipment. He barely gave the sound boards a glance. He zeroed in on the main computer, its flat screen dull and inactive.

When Alec punched on the power, he swore at the screen.

A password window greeted him.

"Damn it," Alec muttered. He ran a hand through his hair. Of course, Logan used a password. He scanned the desk. No paper. No diary. The sticky notes were clean, not even an imprint from a previous page.

"Geez, you're a paranoid one," Alec muttered under his breath as he paced left and right. He could feel time clicking away, tapping on his skin. He darted into the dining area, but the first stack of folders revealed nothing and he didn't dare risk losing time exploring the rest. Back to the computer area, Alec pulled out the drawers. Bullets, flash drives he didn't have access to without the computer and pain medication still full in their bottles.

Alec ran his fingers under the desk. Nothing. He checked behind the servers. Squat. He pulled CDs off their shelves. Nada.

A stopwatch was ticking in his head. His skin shrank tighter around his bones each time his search came up empty.

He should have been faster. He should have stayed closer. He should have told Logan he knew.

 _Great fuck up, 494_. 

Rage boiled just below the surface, kept at bay by the cold wash of fear that kept crashing over Alec's head. He wanted to shove everything off the desk. He wanted to go back to Two, peel the skin off him strip by strip until he wrung out what he wanted. 

The password window taunted him. 

Alec swept his palm under the desk again. Still nothing. No folder or chip taped underneath. He checked under the generators, but the dirty outline indicated they weren't moved in a while. He lifted up the keyboard to check underneath, but it was clean. He set down the keyboard before he gave in to the urge to throw it. 

Alec paused. 

The keyboard was a flat profile one with backlit keys. The keys glowed blue the moment he'd touched them. The light started to fade but not before he noted several keys were faded; worn from being used over and over. 

Alec brushed a finger over it again and the entire surface lit up. As the blue glow dimmed, he quickly picked out the letters in each row.

38  
RT  
H

Alec tried it, first by alphabetical then numeric order. People tended to automatically put things in order. 

The warning honk and red X told him the first try was a no go. 

Alec tried sorting by alternating letters and numbers. He growled when the computer honked again. 

The password window damned him and he knew most computers lock up after too many tries. Knowing Logan, he probably somehow programmed his computer to self-destruct after the third try.

"You always have to make everything hard, Heather," Alec muttered. He stopped. He looked at the keys again. 

"Really?" Alec murmured, smiling tightly. He stooped down, took a breath and carefully typed out H38TH3R.

The computer chimed.

"I'm never going to let you live it down." Alec smirked. His humor dropped, however, as window after window popped up, identifying the last thing Logan worked on.

Bronck's sharp, beady-eyed face stared off to the side. It was a corporate PR shot, a head shot meant to be plastered on an annual report.

Alec drank in the features, memorized the height and weight. Lydecker's harsh _"Know your target, 494"_ didn't make him flinch this time.

But knowing how to pick out Bronck in a crowd wasn't going to get Logan out and knowing the idiot, he was channeling a preaching martyr to the bad guys right about now and pissing them off.

_Unless they killed him._

Alec set his jaw. No, knowing Bronck who has a grubby paw in every pot, he'll want what Logan has: information or _Eyes Only_. Preferably both. And Alec is pretty sure Logan wasn't willing to give up either so Bronck was most likely being creative right now. Whereas Alec had trained in effective _interrogation_ , Bronck's flunkies-for-hire were not. Things could drag out unless they take it too far.

"Come on, come on," Alec seethed as he went through the windows. Logan—or _Eyes Only_ —had a lot of dirt on Bronck. On a lot of dirt bags, actually. Logan seemed to have made it his life's work to piss off as many slime balls as possible.

When Alec found the list, he groaned. Sure enough, Logan had narrowed down the list to four. But it was three too many. He slammed a fist to the desk.

Behind him, the video camera on its tripod trembled.

Eying the screen once more, Alec leaned forward.

 

Bronck was pissed.

_"Funny. I was told he was Eyes Only."_

Alec smiled thinly. He didn't think of what they did to make Logan talk. "All my people are told to do that. Just in case. I'm a popular guy." He winced. Okay, that sounded _weird_ even with the voice cloning software. Luckily, when he did the hack, warning Bronck off, there was a script of sorts: "Cannot be hacked, cannot be traced, blah, blah, blah." It was convincing; better than what Alec _wanted_ to say in the hack. And sure enough, when Alec called Logan's cell, Bronck picked up cursing and screaming before Alec could say hello. How rude.

Bronck went on and on about how _Eyes Only_ was ruining his business, something about his mother—seriously?—and Alec threw him off by offering to be bribed. Bronck was fluent in money-speak. Convincing Bronck he could buy off _Eyes Only_ was laughably easy.

At the lower corner of the screen, a pop up window warned of a trace. Alec arched an eyebrow. Ah, hence Bronck monologing him to death. Thinking quickly, Alec typed in an address, smirking as he hit _Enter_.

 _"Let me get back to you,"_ Bronck said. The smugness in his voice made Alec want to gag. 

"Thirty minutes," Alec returned, hanging up because he figured a guy like _Eyes Only_ would want to get in the last word.

Immediately, he called Sung.

 _"You found him?"_ Sung didn't bother wasting time asking who it was. Or how Alec knew his number.

"Almost," Alec said as he shutdown the system. "Can you meet me at this address?"

_"You found the airstrip?"_

"Not exactly."

 

Steelheads are idiots.

When five bad guys with guns bust into their chop shop; even morons get the message quick enough.

By the time Alec reached the address he gave them, Sung was already there with SWAT. Extorting Steelheads pissed off in a police van, bad guys groaning as they were dragged away; Alec didn't have to do squat. It was like Christmas.

When Sung spotted Alec slipping in through an air duct, he nodded minutely towards the back.

"Leader of the group," Sung explained when he opened the door. A similar well-dressed thug was cuffed to a steam pipe. The moment he spotted Alec, he blanched. 

Alec smiled thinly. Apparently, word gets around.

Sung's throat worked, but he pushed the door wider.

"I can only give you ten minutes."

"I only need five," Alec said succinctly as he tensed, preparing to be deaf to the screaming to come.

 

It took four.

Alec patted the swollen cheek. "See? That wasn't so hard." 

The guy squirmed away from Alec. Or tried. Points for trying.

Alec didn't look back. He banged on the door. 

Immediately, Sung heaved it open, nodding as Alec rattled off the address of the airstrip. 

"There's a plane ready to take off in twenty minutes," Alec reported. 

Sung swore as he yanked out his radio. "I don't know if I can get SWAT there in less than forty."

"It's fine." Alec quickly scoped out the area. "You guys can do the clean up."

Alec smirked when he spotted the red and white motorcycle parked on the edges of the cordoned off area. "Hey, is that evidence? I hope not 'cause I'm borrowing that."

Alec didn't wait for Sung's answer. He swung a leg over the bike, twisted the ignition and kicked up the gas. He sped past the startled cops, Sung telling them it was okay and the outraged yelp of a Steelhead who was likely the owner.

As Alec sped down the road, the stopwatch still ticking away in his head drowned out the roar of the motorcycle.

 

Willet airstrip hung on the border between Seattle and the rest of the state. The airstrip survived on private planes business and questionable flights. But even that had dried up when the bad guys was feeling the economic depression. And Bronck gobbled up the deed under a shell company.

It was empty now, saved for one olive green plane sitting on a tarmac overrun by weeds and cracks in the asphalt. Most of the buildings fell to disarray. The planes and equipment were long auctioned off. 

The sole surviving plane stood waiting, with its propellers lazily spinning.

It was a decommissioned Russian military cargo plane. Blueprints sprang up in Alec's head the moment he identified the make and number. Manticore's summer reading list once was all the manuals from the past thirty years. Fun times. The exams were a bitch to pass. 

_Gears with triple bolts. Hydraulics contained a weak joint by the pump. Brake line vulnerable to cold temperatures._  
  
A potbellied man with an outgrown red goatee leaned against one of the landing gears, smoking something foul and definitely not made from tobacco. He swayed as he alternated from scratching his balls and scratching his ass. His pilot's cap hung low over his blown pupils. He didn't react at first when Alec tapped him on the shoulder. But the guy passed out quietly with a love tap to the back of his greasy head.

Alec rolled the senseless guy to a nearby pile of crates. He crept up to the plane's belly. A few strategic tugs here and there pretty much guaranteed the plane was never going to fly even if it had a sober pilot. He peeked inside a port hole, but Logan wasn't inside. At least Bronck's cargo wasn't going anywhere.

The only structure that looked stable was a faded red hanger to his eight o'clock. The white logo of a bankrupt airline was barely visible. However, the lights were on; three guys with assault rifles prowled the perimeter in the sloppiest formation Alec has ever seen.

Taking them down was easy. 

The last one was still peering around a corner, wondering where everybody went when Alec jumped him from behind.

The hangar's corrugated front gate was chained shut and most likely guarded on the other side. The side door led to the tarmac, probably guarded heavily on the other side as well.

Twenty feet above, a ladder hung next to a glassless window.

_Ladder it is._

Alec leaped and caught the bottom rung. Even though the metal didn't even creak, Alec checked around him. Satisfied no one was running out going "Oh my God, of my God, what the hell?" he slipped inside. 

Crates stacked as high as the curved ceiling blocked the catwalks from line-of-sight. Only one light worked in the center of the clearing. And the antiquated air conditioner thumped and whirred to no avail. A maze of crates took up an entire side of the hangar, directly under the catwalks.

And no one was patrolling below.

 _Thank God for amateurs_. 

"...should call by now."

Alec crouched by a crate closest to the edge and searched for the voice.

Bronck paced around a cleared area towards the center that took advantage of the only working light. He was just like his photo, in a trim bespoke blue suit with striped silver tie. His narrow hawkish face was flushed. If he hadn't shaved his head, Bronck would be pulling his hair out.

"Why aren't they picking up their phones?" Bronck roared. Four and Six stood a distance away, eying their boss warily. 

Alec smirked grimly. 

There were two office desks overturned on their sides and a shattered television set on the floor. And Bronck was pissed and getting more pissed when his call went ignored again. He kept gesturing to a telephone on the floor with his gun.

After a few more choice words, Bronck stopped in his tracks. He took a deep breath. He adjusted his tie and looked over to his men.

"Get him on the plane." Bronck nodded jerkily towards a shadowed corner. "I want to ask him a few more questions during our flight."

"What about the girl?"

Alec noticed a girl in her early teens dressed in an oversized tie-dyed t-shirt cowering in the center. Bronck and his two men circled her, their guns occasionally pointing towards her brunette head. She sat on the floor, her left wrist hugged to her chest, crying quietly to herself. So that's how they got Logan to talk.

Bronck never looked her way. "Kill her. Our buyers don't like damaged goods." He sighed. "Can't be helped but maybe throwing in something for those with particular tastes will smooth things over. Kill her and put her on the plane too. We'll dump the body over the ocean." He checked his watch again, muttered and stormed out. He never looked back at the girl now crying harder.

Alec narrowed his eyes. He tensed when he studied the back of the hangar barely visible from his angle. He made out the slumped form in a chair, arms tied back, head down, a car battery by his bare feet. 

A red haze rose over Alec's vision. He set his jaw as he edged closer to the railing. He pried out a rusty screw from a crate and quietly tossed it into Logan's lap. He held his breath; the screw didn't roll off. He waited a few seconds more, but there was no reaction. 

Throat tight, Alec jumped down from the ramp. He landed, silent, balanced on the balls of his feet into a cluster of precariously stacked crates that stood between the girl and Logan. He pressed back and waited.

Bronck was still out there, most likely too pissed off to realize his three guards were trussed up and in the trunk of his car. And chances are Bronck wouldn't be too concerned about his drugged out pilot.

Nevertheless, it meant Alec has minutes.

Alec ducked into the shadows. He ignored the hairy feeling of tiny legs walking over his hands. He didn't move. He held his breath. He watched.

The two guards paced back and forth, gripping their Weso assault rifles too tightly and the wrong way. Hands were too far from the trigger; adrenaline may speed up their response, but it'll also make them clumsy.

Alec narrowed his eyes and peered through the gap between two crates. 

Six carried only the rifle. He was also favoring his left arm. Alec remembered Sung's shot. The detective aimed to disable not killed. Too bad. Sung appeared to be sore, which may make him slower to respond or more desperate to attack. 

Four, who kept threatening the girl by jabbing his rifle's muzzle into her ear, also has a handgun.

_Take out Four first._

Alec nodded to himself, his mouth a grim line as he weighted the two against each other. 

When Four's shadow came within reach, heading back towards the girl, Alec surged forward.

Four's scream cut off when Alec smashed him into the crates. He grabbed the rifle and gun. He striped both weapons, ducked the toppling crates and charged towards Six. The dismantled weapons clanged behind him.

There was a shout. The girl screamed. A bullet whizzed by. Alec grappled Six into a chokehold. He kicked one of the desks sending it crashing into Four's knees when he shakily stumbled out. 

Four landed face down on the ground. He didn't get back up.

Two untrained, startled men were no match for an X-5. Alec spared them a glance on the ground. He started towards Logan, but the crying behind him stilled his feet. He tried again, but the sniffles somehow found its way to twist in his gut. 

Alec shot Logan a look before heading for the girl instead.

"Uh...It's okay, all right? Good guy here." Alec murmured as he crouched by her. The teen flinched. Alec winced.

"Yeah, totally fine. Completely. Yup. I'm okay, you're okay."

The girl stared at Alec with wide brown eyes. He opened his palms and smiled at her, making sure he didn't show any teeth. The girl's lower lip trembled, but she didn't shy away anymore. In fact, she curled into a startled Alec.

Alec awkwardly patted her shoulder because he suspected barking at her to man up wouldn't go well. "The police are on their wa—"

Footfall.

Alec spun around. He snapped his head to the left as a bullet from Five went astray thanks to Logan toppling into the guy, chair and all.

Alec got him before he could fire a second bullet.

"Thanks. I didn't see him," Alec said breathlessly as he stepped over the prone body. He righted the chair with Logan in it. "Playing possum, huh?"

"Figured might help once they try to get me on the plane," Logan muttered. He cracked one bloodshot eye at Alec. The bruises painted a gruesome mask to the left side of his face. His glasses were gone. 

There were a lot of things Alec wanted to say. It was on the tip of his tongue. He gripped Logan by the shoulders, unsure if he wanted to shake them or squeeze them tighter.

Logan stiffened. "The plane!"

Alec smiled grimly as he heard sirens in the distance. By now, Bronck was either shitting in his pants or running (literally) to save his ass.

"Plane can't fly and sounds like the police are finally here to get the rest." Alec bent down to snap the zip ties around Logan's ankles. He absently rubbed the exposed skin; the ties left swollen welts around the joints.

"Then they're okay," sighed Logan.

Alec's brow furrowed. He lifted his eyes. "They?" His eyes widened as he tracked where Logan's eyes were trying to focus. Alec glanced behind him.

Frightened huge eyes, wet eyes, stared back at them.

Alec swallowed. "The cargo?"

"Two shipments already left before this one," Logan rasped. Self-recrimination roughened his voice. "I was too late to save them."

Alec's throat worked as he looked away. He moved behind Logan, scowling when he saw the handcuffs and the purpling thumb halfway out of one cuff.

"Dislocating your thumb," Alec said evenly as he worked on the locks with a wire he always kept in his boot heel. "That's one way to get out of your cuffs."

"Left my hair pins at home," Logan said. He flinched.

"Sorry." Alec brushed a hand over a raw wrist. He curled a palm over the welt. 

"Matt! The detective with me—"

"He's fine. He's probably coming in with the cavalry." Alec winced as he jiggled to hear the tumblers. Bastards clamped them on tight.

"They were tracing the call. Did they—"

"Rerouted to a few friends of mine," Alec interrupted. He carefully peeled the cuffs off. Logan pulled his hands up front to massage them.

"The informant network—"

"Is fine. Intact. Secure." Alec got in front of Logan. 

Logan's eyes kept trying to close; he kept trying to keep them open. 

Alec pursed his lips as he sat on the balls of his feet.

"When are you going to ask about yourself?" Alec bit out.

Logan's blank look grated Alec's nerves.

At that moment, Sung burst in. It was kind of funny the way he skidded to a halt to gape at the three unconscious men on the ground.

"You okay?" Sung asked breathlessly as he slipped his gun back into his holster.

"Do you have his wheels?" Alec asked curtly before Logan could answer because if he heard Logan's "I'm fine," Alec wasn't sure how he was going to respond. "We should get him home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've discovered action writing is not my forte. Sorry for the delay. Rewritten this so many times, I hardly stand looking at it anymore. I'll do better in posting next week...


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Contains strong language, mentions attempted non-con and sap. (pauses) Odd combination, I know, but, well...(shrugs helplessly)

The night security guard gave Alec a knowing smirk.

Alec pretended to be fascinated with the back of Logan's head as Logan signed Alec in as his PCA. And it irked him Logan kept checking behind him, surprised (and puzzled) Alec wasn't taking the roof and was willing to walk right up to the lobby. The guard barely looked at Logan, which was just as well; Logan wasn't exactly looking his best right now.

The elevator ride was a terse one. Logan, with his bruised face and cut lip, kept glancing over, waiting for Alec to go _poof_ and disappear. He said nothing when Alec punched the floor button because the ribs he's been ignoring were too bruised for him to stretch up. But Alec caught Logan's jaw clenching, his eyes determinedly fixed forward.

Alec wanted to snatch Logan's keys and get them inside ASAP. The trembling fingers fumbling out the keys, however, bade him back. Alec bit his lower lip, shoved his fists into his jacket and forced himself not to look as Logan swiped his keycard and finally got the key in after a few shaky tries.

Silently trailing after Logan, Alec closed the door behind them. He tested the door knobs. Then he sailed past Logan into the living room. He made sure the alarms were still on and the windows were shut because Logan had that damn habit of leaving them open a crack even in the dead of winter.

Veering around Logan, Alec checked the windows in the guestroom. He scrutinized the skylight in the hallway; it looked secure, but he should confirm on the roof later. He surveyed the bathrooms—both of them—and pulled the shower curtains back. No one was behind them. He left all the closet doors opened.

"Alec—" Logan stopped when Alec made a rough sound in the back of his throat as he stalked past.

Alec checked the windows in the living room again. He disarmed the alarm then rearmed it. He timed it, disarmed it, opened and closed the windows to test the frames before rearming the alarm again. When he realized he was going to check for the third time, he forced himself to stop. 

All clear.

Yet there was a thrumming in Alec's joints reminding him he forgot to check something. He went down his mental checklist, but before he could go back to the windows' alarms again, he felt a silent presence rolling into the perimeter.

Alec spun around on his heels and found Logan sitting there in his wheelchair, between the living area and the computer area. His eyes were startlingly green among the reddish purple bruising on his face.

"Get on the bed," Alec said evenly. "I should check your ribs."

Eyes flickered to the computer area. 

Something flared deep in Alec's gut. "Get on the damn bed before I put you there myself."

Surprise flitted across Logan's face. His mouth pressed to a thin line, but wordlessly, he steered for the bedroom.

Alec took a steadying breath; then another before he could get his legs to follow.

It was strange. It felt like a joke would be appropriate here yet nothing came to mind despite the fact they were both sitting on the bed. He sat there, feeling hollow in his gut as be watched Logan struggle out of his top. The more he tried to hide the wincing, the more Alec wanted to hit something or someone.

Out of the corner of Alec's eyes, he saw Logan studying him. He hadn't been under this much observation since Manticore. While Logan's surreptitious glances weren't calculating or measuring, they made his skin itch to do something. Each time Logan's breath hitched in caught pain, wary hazel eyes darted to his face. Checking. Waiting. 

"I'll get the kit," Alec mumbled. He abruptly rose to his feet. 

Alec shouldn't know where the first aid kit was. It bothered him he went for it without a search. He stopped at the foot of the bed, eyes on the finger marks on Logan's shoulders, the boot mark where he recalled one asshole had kicked him. Logan was studying a bruise on the right side of his abdomen, running his palm over it with morbid curiosity. It looked like a purple handprint branded into his skin.

The edges of the kit dug into Alec's palms.

"Damn." Alec couldn't take the silence anymore. "They tried to knock the pretty right out of you, huh?"

It was weak, but Logan appeared relieved to hear it; his shoulders immediately lost their rigid line. He slouched forward, finally acknowledging his exhaustion.

"I think they succeeded." Logan flexed his hands and rotated his red banded wrists. He winced. "I'm afraid to look in the mirror."

The suffocating air that hung over them thinned briefly. It felt easier to breathe now, to form words.

Alec smirked wearily. "Don't worry. The right side of your face was untouched. You're still pretty in a lopsided sort of way."

Logan laughed weakly. He curled a hand on his side. He grimaced.

"Sore?" Alec didn't know why his feet still wouldn't move. He stayed by the foot of the bed, holding the first aid kit, eyes tracking every bruise Logan touched.

"A little," Logan admitted. "I think one took offense to a comment I made."

"You? You're usually such a charming guy," Alec drawled. A cold spike shot through him when he caught a shadow just inside the waist of Logan's jeans. There was a matching smudge on the other pelvis.

"Did they..." The first aid kit creaked in his hands.

Puzzled, Logan followed Alec's gaze. He quietly exhaled an "Ah."

"No. They tried but then they realized a guy who was in a wheelchair probably wouldn't feel it so there would be no point threatening me with that." Logan shrugged. Alec fought the urge to break the kit in his hands. 

"Probably why they didn't use the car battery either." Logan slipped both hands under his left thigh to lift his leg up. He squinted at his foot. Satisfied, he inspected the other. "Then when they discovered hitting me above the belt wasn't doing anything either, they got out Carly."

Alec remembered he never asked the girl's name. "They used her as leverage."

Logan nodded slowly as if his head was too heavy. "And they said they had sixteen more to _convince_ me to talk." He stared down at his legs. "I figured the worst thing that could have happened was they break in here and try to get into my files." He smiled grimly. 

"Four tries and the computer would have sent a virus out to all networking servers to delete themselves. After texting everyone in the network to get off grid first."

The bed creaked when Logan shifted weight. "Bronck's men would have gotten nothing. It would have pissed them off enough that they kill me outright or whoever ends up buying me would have and the last connection to the informant network is lost."

"Nice," Alec forced out. "You fucking thought of everything."

Logan looked pained. "Alec—"

"Lie down." Alec woodenly sat on the edge of the bed. He opened the kit and stared at its contents.

"How's your breathing?" Alec fingered the rolls of bandages. They were half done. In fact, the kit needed replenishing. It was full after Cape Haven.

"It's fine."

Alec set his jaw. He twisted around and curled his hands on Logan's sides. He jerked them back at Logan's startled intake.

"Cold," Logan explained lamely.

"Yeah." Alec rubbed his hands together, warming them before repositioning them on Logan's sides. "Breathe deep," he ordered.

Logan complied. He didn't wince.

The skin under Alec's hands was warm, tight over the flatness of Logan's stomach. The imprint of a toe cap pointed towards Logan's belly button. The bruise on his right was a mirror to the impact bruise from Cape Haven. That mark was long gone, of course, but Alec's hand hovered over the spot it once resided. He could still see it, a tattoo of failure, of a time when Logan Cale went alone against an enemy, of a time when Alec wasn't there. 

Alec brushed a knuckle over the mark's ghost. His fingers wandered back to the right, to its sibling. The skin was tender, warm under the bruise, blood boiling around the injury. Transfixed, Alec splayed his hand over the entirety of the mark. He felt the pulse of life humming under the skin.

Logan's stomach clenched on contact.

"Hurts?" Alec swept a palm over the area again, clinically now, feeling for the hard knots of clots or torn tissue or broken flesh. The spot didn't feel hot and didn't feel rigid when Alec pressed two fingers down before sweeping them up to circle the belly button. He avoided looking or touching the fine spray of dark hairs that trailed down into Logan's jeans.

"Doesn't feel like there's any internal bleeding," Alec murmured. He slipped a finger into the waistband, over the shadows that marred the bony jut of Logan's hip. He traced the elongated bruise. He thought of hands, unwelcomed hands gripping Logan there, willing to take by force what Logan wouldn't have given. Alec swallowed. He framed Logan's hips, his hands covering the stains hinted on Logan's skin. What lay below the waistline wasn't something Alec wanted to see. 

"Think you can lift your hips a little?" Alec's hands hovered over the top button. "I should check."

Logan fidgeted.

Alec averted his eyes. He wished Logan healed as fast as him. They would have been gone in hours. In reality, these bruises would stalk Logan for days.

"Sorry. Look, I'll tell you what to look for if you wan—"

"No. It's..." Logan took a steadying breath. "It's fine. Alec, they didn't do anything. They did a lot of posturing; they threw in some threats but once they realized..." There was a broken laugh. "It wasn't going to be as fun as they thought."

Alec numbly nodded. He didn't remove his hands. Maybe he could absorb the filth the bastards left on Logan's skin into his palms.

A hesitant hand hovered over Alec's, not quite touching. But the heat of it reminded Alec where his hands were.

"Anything around there hurt?"

"No. No, not—look, I'm fine."

Alec caught himself stroking the jut of Logan's pelvis, tracing the hard curve of bone that peeked out from the line of dark boxer briefs. He forced himself to pull away, out of Logan's jeans. 

Logan fidgeted. His eyes stared pointedly at the ceiling. He looked feverish, probably caught a cold from all those solo post-curfew stakeouts.

"You threw up in the car," Alec reminded him.

"Probably a mild concussion." Logan pinched a spot between his eyes. "I'll set my alarm for every two hours." He pushed back on his elbows and propped himself up. "I have a list of things I can run through to check my memory."

Alec grunted. "Good for you." 

"Your neck's bleeding."

Alec flinched. His hand flew up, but he aborted its journey to the back of his neck. He pulled up one of Logan's wrists instead.

"Someone got a lucky shot in," Alec muttered. He turned the palm; none of the cuts looked deep. He experimentally rotated the wrist. "That hurt?"

Logan ignored the question. He stared at Alec.

"You said it was healing."

"Healing," Alec said shortly, "not _healed._ There's a difference." He pursed his lips as he considered the other hand and the discolored thumb. Logan never completed dislocating it, but Alec could feel the torn tendons that swollen in response to the attempt.

"Wiggle your fingers." Alec scrutinized the feeble movement. "Can you rotate your wrist?" He grunted when Logan complied. 

"No permanent damage," Alec mumbled.

"That's good," Logan murmured.

Yeah, fucking great. 

Alec shut the kit. The battered tin lid dropped closed noisily, louder than Alec wanted it to.

Next to Alec, Logan stilled. He sighed and sagged back into the bed.

"Are we not going to talk about this?" Logan asked quietly.

"You seemed fine not talking about it before." Alec shrugged. 

Logan lay there, silent for a long time, eyes on the ceiling. Alec could hear him breathing. It was measured, even, a hushed beat reminding him of life. And despite himself, Alec relaxed. He slumped, rolling his hip until it pressed against Logan's legs.

"How long you've been following me?" 

Alec grunted. "After Cape Haven." His gaze slid over to Logan.

"I wasn't stalking you or anything. Figured I would get the scoop first and clean out the bad guys before the cops do."

"Ah." Logan wore a brittle smile on his face. "I suspected you would have figured it out eventually. Didn't think it was for that long though." His throat worked. "I couldn't involve you, Alec. Manticore—"

"None of those was Manticore so cut the crap excuse." Alec set down the kit before he threw it. "It's none of my business. I get it." He curled his hands on top of his knees. 

"No, you're right. They weren't directly involved with Manticore, but the risk—"

Alec twisted around to glare at Logan.

Logan inhaled sharply. "Your neck—"

"Is fine," Alec cut in. "What risk? You just said they weren't connected with Manticore."

"Doesn't mean they wouldn't notice." Logan grimaced as he gestured to Alec. "You said it yourself: Manticore's always watching. Two. Twenty. You draw their attention and that's it."

Alec narrowed his eyes. "Stop quoting me. It's not as flattering as you think."

"I'm not trying to flatter you; I'm trying to be realistic."

"So am I. You should have said something."

"So you could do what? Help me?"

"Would that be so bad?"

"For you, yes."

"Stop making this about _me_." Alec growled under his breath. "Don't blame this on me." His eyes couldn't look at Logan's bruised torso though.

"I'm not trying to blame you for anything, Alec. I'm trying to make you understand."

Alec snorted as he fixed his glower at the door. "I get it."

"I don't think you do."

Alec leapt to his feet. His hands cut through the air around him. "Then why don't you tell me? Oh, wait. You can't, because it's all a big secret. _Your_ secret. Big whoop." He walked around in a tight circle, stopping by the door. But he didn't go through it. God damn, he should just walk through it.

"There's a lot you don't understand," Logan said wearily.

"Tell it to me in a cable hack!" Alec snapped and stormed out.

 

The alarm went off three minutes ago.

Alec uncurled from the spot of carpet he squatted. He peered into the dark, frowning, listening.

No creak of bedsprings. No rustling. Nothing.

Alec screwed up his face and went back to scowling at the window. It was still dark enough for Seattle's city lights—what privileged few has them, that is—glittered like stars. He leaned back into the couch. The seat was short enough that it didn't rub against his neck, because yes, his neck _was_ bleeding. It took some tricky maneuvering, but Alec managed to apply salve and place a new bandage over it.

In the guest bathroom though. Alec sure as hell wasn't ducking back in Logan's bedroom again. Even if the alarm had gone off thre—no, four minutes ago. 

Alec dragged his eyes back to the windows when he realized he was staring hard at the bedroom door.

His main line tethered to the roof swayed in the night breeze. Pretty soon, it'll be morning and Mrs. Moreno above will see it, wonder about it, maybe call security—

The alarm went off _five_ minutes ago.

Alec craned his neck—ouch, son of a bitch, it still burns—to check over the armrest. The bedroom door remained closed where Alec had slammed it. The door was closed the two hours Alec stayed put. Two hours of figuring out why the hell he stayed put and all he figured out was zip.

Five minutes, twenty seconds.

Alec unwound from his cross-legged position and edged closer to the bedroom. He canted his head towards the door but heard nothing.

Hand to the doorknob, Alec pushed the door open a crack. Just a crack; make sure the guy wasn't drooling foam on his pillow, or his eyes were pointing in different directions. 

Then again, if Logan was slowly bleeding into his skull, there might not be any symptoms.

It wasn't clear how Alec got here, but suddenly he was crouched by the edge of the bed, peering up at Logan's sleeping face. Logan appeared to be breathing normally. His color looked good; maybe a bit scruffier. His lower lip is a bit puffy, but the cut didn't need stitches. Nose looked intact. Good thing because a broken nose would suck for wearing eyeglasses—Where did his glasses go? Oh shit, Alec hoped that didn't mean the fugly pair is making a reappear—

"Gah!"

A hand shoved feebly at his shoulder. Alec blinked; he was practically nose to nose with Logan, who woke up to the up close and personal.

Oops.

"What? Why?" Logan looked comical, wide-eyed and freaked out, a hand up to ward off whatever he thought the threat was, the other under his pillow for the gun he forgot wasn't there.

Alec scratched behind his right ear. "Your alarm went off."

"What? I—Alarm?" Logan was still trying to catch up.

While a flustered Logan was fun to look at, Alec took pity. He exaggeratedly enunciated his words.

"Your. Alarm. Went. Off. Concussion? Alarm?"

Logan squinted at Alec. He slumped back into his pillow. "Oh."

" _Oh_? Hey, maybe your bell got gonged harder than you thought? Thought you were supposed to wake up with the alarm and test your brain."

"I heard it." Logan knuckled his eyes. He winced at the pain and lowered his hand. "I figured if I heard it and knew what's it for, why I needed it, then I was okay."

Alec scowled. " _That's_ your checklist?" He threw up his hands. "Lie down."

"I'm already down," Logan pointed out. He started when Alec straddled him. "What are you doing?"

"Quiet," Alec demanded. He framed Logan's face with his hands, forcing it center and forward. He leaned in closer as he stared hard into Logan's eyes. Pupils looked regular and even. This close, the hazel tint darkened to an emerald green.

Logan's hair stuck in different directions and faintly smelled like jet fuel and mildew. Alec carded careful fingers through the unruly brown strands and felt around his skull. Nothing misshapen, no lumps. He cupped the back of Logan's head.

"Dizzy?"

Logan shook his head. He watched Alec silently.

The stare was unnerving. Alec cleared his throat.

"Nauseous?" Alec rasped.

"No. I feel fine," Logan said, subdued. His eyes were still glued to Alec's face.

Alec reached over and turned on the lamp. The pupils reacted evenly as they should. He waved a finger left and right in front of Logan. His chest tightened when he realized Logan wasn't tracking it.

"Can you see this?" Alec waggled the finger.

"Thought you left." 

Alec lowered his hand. "Thought you were going to wake yourself after the alarm."

"So you stayed to make sure I wake up?"

No, he went to the roof, made sure the skylight was still secure, came back and checked the windows again. He did a few circuits of this until he realized he looked like an idiot doing it and returned to guard the couch.

Instead, Alec tapped Logan on the chin. 

"Follow," Alec ordered.

Logan sighed but complied. 

Alec grabbed Logan's hands. He paused. He turned his palms up and curled fingers over Logan's; they felt breakable yet he could feel the strength in them. He ran a thumb over the still swollen joint.

"Squeeze my hands," Alec croaked. He nodded when he felt equal pressure in both. 

"Again." The callus on Logan's right index finger brushed over the heel of Alec's palm. He felt his skin tingle in response.

"Good?" Logan watched Alec; his hands were still captured in Alec's grasp.

Alec shook himself out of his reverie. "Uh yeah. Looks great. You ah, need some ice for that thumb though."

Done, Alec swung off him and sat on the bed by his legs.

Silence hung between them. Alec picked at the bed sheet. It was a nice bed sheet. Big thread count; the kind that came in sets to match. Soft, too. It was a nice color. They went with Logan's eyes.

"Did you change your bandage?"

Still studying the bed sheet, Alec waved vaguely towards his own neck. 

"Did the bleeding stop?"

"Yeah," Alec muttered. "Still pus free."

Logan fell silent. He stared up, his hands folded over his stomach.

Eventually, Alec felt Logan's gaze drifting to him.

"I'm not going to apologize for not telling you," Logan said finally.

"I didn't say you have to," Alec mumbled as he rubbed the bed sheet between his fingers. "You don't owe me anything."

"I owe you a thank you."

Alec lifted his eyes. Logan smiled back tiredly.

"I thought I was prepared for Bronck. I thought one more push, and he would show his hand and I'll catch him." Logan touched his own jaw. He gave Alec a rueful look.

"I overestimated his patience."

"What if I hadn't showed up?" Alec said, low.

Logan's eyes clouded over. "I had operatives waiting in Los Angeles, in case the plane lands there. Bronck has contacts there so there was a likely chance he would have flown there first to look for buyers. The _Eyes Only_ operatives would have intercepted the cargo."

"So you knew they were going to put you on the plane?" Alec clawed the sheets when Logan didn't answer. "So you had operatives watching out for the cargo, but not for you?" He stared hard at the carpet. 

"I wasn't planning on getting caught, Alec. The mission only works the fewer people directly involved."

"Mission?" Alec grated out. "What mission is that, _Eyes Only_? Save the world? Who died and made you the superhero?"

"I'm not a superhero."

"Then stop acting like you are!" Alec deliberately poked the purple bruise on his ribs. He squashed down the lump in his throat at Logan's flinch in response. "You're not bulletproof."

"I know that."

Alec huffed. "You don't act like you do. Or care." He gave Logan a look. His stomach lurched when Logan's eyes slid away.

"Look, _Jam Pony_ is just a gig. I could—"

"No." Logan's face darkened. "You're not bulletproof either."

"No, but I can outrun one," Alec reminded him. Abruptly, he blanched.

"Shit, I didn't mean..."

Logan laughed hollowly. Alec grimaced. His eyes dropped.

"I know you didn't." Logan's deliberately light voice hurt to hear. "But that doesn't change anything. It's better I work alone."

"Look, if this is some macho thing or you trying to—"

"It's not."

Alec's chin jutted out. "You can't stop me from following you."

"No, but I have to ask you stop."

Alec scoffed.

"Don't, Alec."

"Whatever," muttered Alec.

"Alec," Logan said sharply. He struggled to sit up and grabbed Alec by the arms. 

"Don't get involved," Logan stressed. There was something desperate in his eyes. 

Alec pried one hand off. He made a face at Logan. 

"Newsflash, Heather: I think I'm already involved." Alec held up a hand to count. "I know your secret identity. Your sidekick Matt Sung saw me in action. _And_ seemed okay with it, by the way. Plus, I totally know your password now. I went in and messed with your porn in there." He sobered when Logan's other hand dropped.

"I may be a custom ordered job, but I'm pretty sure you can't get me to forget any of these things. I don't have a 'Delete' button." Well, maybe with ten weeks of intense retraining that involved taping your eyes open, lasers and a whole bag of misery screaming in your ear.

Alec cleared his throat, the sound rattling loose the feeling of a scratchy band wrapped around his forehead and chin so he couldn't look away. The icky sensation fell off his shoulders.

"Maybe, but I still have to ask you to stay out of it." Logan leaned back against the headboard. He scrubbed his hands over his face. "I'll keep giving you leads before my hacks, but—"

Alec scowled. "That's not why I want in."

Logan smiled tightly at Alec. "That's what I'm afraid of."

"You? _Afraid_? For weeks, you goaded a flesh trafficker. Before that, you went solo in podunk Cape Haven to play a one man army." Alec scoffed. "What the hell is _Eyes Only_ afraid of?" 

"This," Logan whispered more to himself.

Startled, Alec could only stare. He dropped his eyes to his lap.

"Like I said before," Alec mumbled, "I don't know how to help you with that."

"I'm toxic, Alec," Logan rasped. His knuckles whitened but stayed clasped over his stomach. "You're safe right now, but I guarantee the moment you start getting too close with all this, it's over. You're on the run; everything you worked hard for is gone."

Alec's shoulder lifted then dropped. He let his hand drift, skimmed over the contours of Logan's legs, up his hips, arriving to draw circles over Logan's hands.

Shakily, Logan's hands unraveled and captured some of Alec's fingers. He gave them a brief squeeze before letting go. It left Alec feeling vaguely numb.

"Don't let me ruin that." Logan's hands retreated when Alec's fingers twitched closer. "Don't get involved."

Alec took a deep breath. "As long as you don't do stupid anything like that again." He poked at the purple damage again; Logan's stomach flexed on contact. "I'm a busy man, can't keep playing cavalry for you all the time."

Logan's mouth quirked. "Again, thank you for that." He closed his eyes. 

"Come on." The bed bounced when Alec levered off. "Two hours. Set your alarm. I'll squat in your guest room and wake you this time."

Logan exhaled as he struggled back on to his back. "Just two more hours then I have to—"

"Yeah, yeah, back to your porn."

Logan cracked open a bleary eye.

"We're still going to call it porn?"

"Hey, for all I know, you do your hacks naked."

" _I don't_." As intimidating the single bloodshot eye glare was, there was exasperation under Logan's voice that made Alec grin.

"You should consider it. I think a lot more people would pay attention if you start your hacks with your di—"

" _Good night_ , Alec."

Alec snickered. "See you in two hours, Heather."

The bed rustled quietly as Logan settled back to sleep. Alec absently smoothed out the bed sheet. When he left the bedroom, his smile was gone.

 

The silence hurt his ears.

Alec lay on his side on top of the guest bed, eyes open, but not looking at anything in particular. He couldn't hear anything either. Rich people's homes have nice thick walls. He couldn't hear the city outside. He couldn't hear the rumble of thunder he saw flashing through the window.

He couldn't hear Logan.

 _Adrenaline_ , Alec theorized. He got back from the worst op he'd ever experienced, but everyone was all right. The bad guys were gone. Everybody has all their fingers and toes and lush mouths and...

Alec scowled in the dark. He rolled over to his other side and watched the window instead with its fancy semi-translucent blinds.

Lightning flashed; Seattle was getting more than a drizzle tonight. Riding his bike to work (if he still has a job that is) was going to suck tomorrow.

Alec rolled back to the other side. He stared at the wall as lightning filled the room with shadows. It was a nice room. Nice nightstand. Nice chair. Nice bed.

Blue, white light flickered from the window; the room brightened momentarily.

He still couldn't hear the thunder.

He still couldn't hear Logan.

Alec rolled up to sit on the bed. He stared at his boots by the door.

More lightning flashed silently into the room.

Alec levered off the bed and padded out.

 

Logan stirred when Alec sat down on the edge of his bed. His half-mast gaze drifted to settle on Alec's face, somehow able to seek him out in the dark. He said nothing, his expression gave away nothing. He just breathed.

"What if I hadn't showed up?" Alec whispered. He clutched the hem of the bed sheet, fisting folds of satin like fabric. 

Something flickered in Logan's eyes. He hesitantly settled a hand on Alec's lower back.

The touch released a knot in Alec's gut. He exhaled in a _whoosh_. It sounded harsh and raw in the dark.

Alec twisted the bed sheet in his hands. He flexed his toes into the rich carpet. He soaked in the heat from Logan's fingers and felt it pool down to the base of his spine.

"Move over," Alec whispered.

Logan paused, the weight of his gaze pressing down on Alec's skin. His hand, where it settled lightly on Alec's back dropped away. The spot chilled immediately; Alec suppressed a shiver in response.

After a beat, Logan shuffled, using his arms and shoulders to shift to one side. Still silent, he tracked Alec as he slipped off his jeans and tugged off his shirt. He sat there, clad only in his boxers now, feeling both hot and cold. He stared at Logan, daring him to balk, to protest.

Logan wordlessly pulled down the corner of the covers.

Something seemed to slide and _click_ into place when Alec caught Logan mid-roll and slotted behind him, his knees pressed back of Logan's, his chest flush to Logan's bare back. Alec felt the tension unraveling around his gut the moment his arms were able to tuck Logan against his body. 

There was a faint charge when their bodies glided into contact. Logan sucked in his breath. Alec felt Logan's chest expanded within his hold. Logan's skin was dry; there was a patch of rough skin, a scrape, under his left shoulder blade.

Alec pulled Logan in, huddled until he could feel that spot of hurt skimmed over his nipple. Such a touch should have tantalized, but this time it only jarred Alec. There were dozens of hurts all over Logan's body. And later, there would probably be more. He exhaled on contact. Logan twitched as Alec's warm breath ruffled the fringes of his nape.

Still silent, still hesitant, Logan fidgeted within Alec's hold as if debating how close they dare lie. But when he tried to ease away, an inch of space between them, a strangled sound escaped from Alec before he could cap it.

Logan stopped moving.

Alec brushed his nose along the knobby bones down Logan's nape. He breathed deep; the musky smell of sweat, sleep warm skin and cotton drowned out the stench of jet fuel and blood. He wrapped his arms tighter around Logan's middle, boldly slipping both hands to clasp over Logan's stomach.

Logan remained quiet, strangely acquiescent as he lay on his side half curled into Alec.

Warm skin hummed with blood rushing underneath. Air pumped in lungs, expanding the chest against Alec. When Logan exhaled, he seemed to shrink with the escaping air. Alec found himself burrowing into the curved back to gather what he could. He found himself following suit: breathe in, breathe out. Logan felt warm, overly warm under the blankets, languid limbs instead of his normal tensed position.

"What if I hadn't showed up?" Alec whispered unsteadily into the back of Logan's head. Damn his mind; a thousand bad outcomes bred from Manticore's training sprang up the moment he asked "What if." Bile rose up his throat. His hands splayed and moved to lay claim over Logan's stomach and heart.

"What if I came too late? What if I come through my window and you're not..." Alec swallowed. 

"I won't get into your business but..." 

Their breathing mingled in the dark yet they weren't loud. If anything, they seemed to add to the silence that hung over them; a cloud that muffled the world.

"I want you to be safe, Alec." Logan's barely audible voice was swallowed too quickly in the dark.

"I never am," Alec countered. He smoothed circles over Logan's stomach. He made sure never to drift lower. Regardless, Logan flinched like he did. 

Logan's head shifted like he wanted to turn into Alec's mouth, but the move aborted and rolled the other way. He buried the side of his face into the pillow.

"As safe as you can be," Logan amended. He breathed out slowly as Alec's hands traveled up to his pecs. Silky crisp hairs pricked Alec's fingers as he massaged fingers into the muscles. Alec could feel Logan's heart thump against his fingertips.

"What about you?" Alec wanted to press a kiss on that soft patch of skin he could feel at the junction of Logan's ear and jaw. But he didn't dare push it; Logan already felt like he was vibrating, ready to take flight. He brushed his nose over the vulnerable skin instead. He felt Logan swallow.

"I'm invisible. They can't hurt a ghost," Logan murmured. He shuddered as Alec rubbed his face into the slope of his neck. "Alec..." Logan breathed.

"Sh..." Alec took a long inhale, taking in the musky, salty tang of Logan's skin. Alec carefully threw a leg over Logan's. Even though Logan can't feel it, he knew Logan saw the movement under the covers. 

Alec ran careful hands up and down Logan's torso. He stayed close, too close for both their comforts as he explored the topography of Logan's skin. Logan fidgeted restlessly.

"You don't feel like a ghost to me."

Logan stilled.

Alec dropped his flushed face between Logan's shoulders. 

"All right," Alec sighed. "All right. You watch your back, _Eyes Only_."

Logan wordlessly nodded.

"Better not go and get yourself dead or anything." Alec squeezed Logan. He wished he could pull him in closer. "I'll kick your ass."

Silently, Logan moved a hand to settle over Alec's on his heart. 

 

The alarm went off two minutes ago.

Alec peeled one eye opened. He grimaced as an errant strand of Logan's hair poked him in the eye. He snorted, watched the short strands shiver in his wake. He grinned and did it again.

"What are you doing?" Logan yawned. 

"You need a haircut." Alec snickered when he blew against Logan's hair again. "Seriously, you don't have to do a buzz cut, but I think that floppy bang look is getting out of hand." 

"Hm?" Logan murmured sleepily. He wasn't quite awake. His voice was roughened, slurred and sent heat down Alec's cock.

"Two hours," Alec stammered. "Time to test your brain."

Logan hummed. The vibration rippled back into Alec.

Alec bit his lower lip. He rested his head on Logan's nape.

"What's your full name?" Alec managed.

"Heather." Logan snorted when Alec tightened his arms and growled. "Logan Cale."

"Where do you live?"

Alec nodded as Logan drowsily rattled off the address. 

"Who lives upstairs?"

"Mrs. Shirley Moreno."

_Shirley? Huh._

"What's my name?" 

"Alec," Logan murmured.

Alec blinked. "Not 49—I mean, great." He rested his forehead on Logan's shoulder. 

"How are you feeling?" Alec shifted closer and over Logan's shoulder, watched his left hand drift down from Logan's heart to join the other loosely over the stomach. Logan's hand had slipped off when he sank deeper into sleep. It now laid lax, fingers curled, palm up. The blanket had slipped down their bodies, settling over their hips.

Alec felt warm, lethargic and to his bemusement, Logan looked like he felt just as lazy. He drifted, eyes half-mast, his bangs a messy brown tumble over his eyes, arms stretched out as if reaching for the edge.

"Good," Logan mumbled, answering his question a beat too late. 

Alec grinned into Logan's hair. "I'll bet." He rubbed a slow line from Logan's chest, down to his stomach. He huddled closer, his chin hooked over Logan's shoulder. 

Logan stilled. 

"Alec..."

Alec knew that voice; that martyr self-sacrificing, second guessing, bullshit was creeping back into Logan's sleep hoarsened voice. Alec pulled back, throat working.

"I need to get my bike." With a yawn, Alec eased Logan onto his back before slipping his arms away. He didn't think about how empty his arms felt now. To erase the sensation, he snatched his crumpled t-shirt off the floor.

"I left my ride in the alley downstairs. Even though your guard insisted no one takes anything here, that thing is a sweet ride and—"

"Alec."

Alec was halfway into his t-shirt. Trapped within his shirt, he froze.

"Don't overthink it," Alec said quietly within his shirt. He knew Logan heard him anyway. 

Logan audibly swallowed. "I..." He took a steadying breath. 

"I'll give Normal a call. I'll fax over some backdated forms."

The t-shirt had caught briefly over Alec's ears before his head popped free. He smoothed his shirt down his middle.

"Normal's probably going to bitch for not giving him forty-eight hours notice," Alec warned half-heartedly.

"I'm sure I can afford the penalty fees."

"Well, you are their best account. I'm sure Normal will make an exception. Again." Alec snorted. He sobered. His throat ached when he cleared it.

"So ah...You gonna go do your hack thing now?" Alec said casually.

Logan's hesitation was a physical presence against Alec's back. The silence that hung overhead seemed to absorb the sound around them.

It felt like Alec was running downhill, his words spilling out rapidly and wouldn't stop.

"I got a double shift coming up—if I still got a job—maybe I'll see you for dinner tonight? No, wait, I got a sparkly necklace on the sixteenth floor to say hello to."

Alec scrambled for his jeans. 

"The Parkers," Logan said tentatively. "Good choice. Husband is an accountant for a few pawn shops; he gets paid...off the books."

"And you know this _how_?" Alec's left leg was stuck in the jeans leg. He jiggled his foot. Damn it.

"I have my sources," Logan said with forced lightness.

Alec turned around when he finally wiggled into his jeans to his hips, enough to conceal the rise in his boxers because damn it, it occurred to him how little clothing there was between them. It would be so easy to straddle Logan and— _No_. 

Wary hazel eyes ringed with gold watched Alec as he turned back around.

Alec chose his words carefully. He caught Logan tensing when Alec opened his mouth.

"Did your _sources_ happen to say when the Parkers might be out tonight?"

Eyes widened a fraction. Logan sat up in the bed. He offered a shaky smile.

"I suppose they can find out." Logan's mouth kept twitching then dropping. "Or figure out a reason for them to be out."

Alec's grin felt just as wobbly; he felt like he was tittering on the edge. The edge of what, Alec wasn't sure. He leaned in, forced his mouth to contort into a smirk. Logan didn't lean away, which was a good sign, but he did look like he'll roll off the bed if Alec says "Boo!"

Logan's eyes were almost forest green this up close; gold flecks intensified as Alec drew closer, his gaze fixed on Logan's mouth. 

"I'm a bad influence on you." Alec suddenly reached up and mussed up Logan's hair. "I'm so proud."

A chuckle escaped; Logan looked startled—by Alec's response or his own, it wasn't clear. He leaned back on the headboard. He looked dazed.

"Yeah," Logan murmured. He stared at Alec. A faint but genuine smile curled. "I guess you are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Sigh)_ I've been kidding myself with aiming for Tuesday updates. Let's just make it Wednesdays so you don't waste your time. 
> 
>  
> 
> _(hangs head)_


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much drama. Sadly with my life, not with this chapter. Hence the double length. Both last week and this week's chapters combined.

"Don't go in there."

A hand snagged Alec's elbow. Alec tensed, one fist up before Herbal's face registered. He lowered his fist.

"Sorry, man." Alec arched an eyebrow when Herbal didn't let go. "What's the deal? I can hear Normal yelling in there. I'm late."

"There's nothing good in there right now, mon. Nothing good. The instrument of the authority is in there flashing your face. I think he's trying to dig his authority in you, man and that's not good. I know the universe shouldn't work like that. You sing in the universe. Sing. Jah is all forgiving to a brother. You shouldn't be muffled by the man like that, right?"

"Right," Alec said slowly. He learned Herbal used twenty words when he only needed two, so it took him a beat before it all sank in.

Alec tensed.

"Someone's in there showing my picture?" Alec's mind reeled. When was his picture taken? He stepped back from the doorway. He peered around it, but he couldn't pick out anyone screaming 'Manticore'.

Alec's skin prickled with the crawling sensation of being watched. He pressed Herbal back, eyes zipping across the street. No hoverdrones. No reflection of a sniper scope. Ground response team? They want him alive then. Great.

"Trouble with the law?" Herbal's voice was clipped, his accent still heavy but his words were now short. But instead of backing away or hollering out Alec's location, Herbal tightened his grip on Alec's elbow.

"Sort of," Alec bit out. "More like they would really, really like to have a word with me." Or cut him open. Whatever. He swallowed; the gumminess in his throat wouldn't go away.

Dark eyes flicked over Alec's face. Herbal nodded over his shoulder.

"This way." Herbal didn't wait for Alec to reply though as he led Alec to the tight space between the buildings, behind the bike rack everyone scrambled to lock up their wheels in. Alec narrowed his eyes on Herbal's colorful knitted cap. He was still debating if Herbal was turning him in for the cash or not when a shadow darted out, blocking the other side.

"Did you find him?" Sketchy's long awkward limbs flailed in the shadows.

Alec jerked his arm free. He tensed as he took a step back. He shot the roof a quick glance. He might be able to grab the window sill above, make for the roof, dart across to the back sector gates—

Stomach knotting at the thought, Alec readied himself, knees bent, hands bunching. One blow, knock Herbal into Sketchy and he cou—

"Where are we gonna hide him?" Sketchy blurted.

"Quiet!" Herbal hissed. 

_Huh?_

Alec stared at Herbal blankly. He barely felt Herbal pat him on the shoulder.

"Wait," Sketchy exclaimed. He cringed when both Herbal and Alec shushed him. "The lockers! Back row is empty. He could hide in them until the coast is clear."

Herbal's mouth pursed. "Or suffocate."

"Well, he can't stay cramped in here." Sketchy's eyes kept zipping from Alec's face to Herbal. "You know what they do? They're gonna take him and maybe brainwash him into an instrument of death."

Herbal rolled his eyes. Alec forced himself to groan. He wished it was only Sketchy being paranoid again.

"Or arrest him." Herbal sounded like it was as bad.

"Oh yeah, uh, that too." Sketchy glanced around the narrow passage. "He can't hide in here."

"You know," Alec started. "I could jus—"

"He wasn't. We were going to the back. There's a sewer hole next to the dump truck."

Alec debated somersaulting off Herbal's shoulders to get the guys' attention. He tried to shrug off Herbal's grip, but as soon as that dark hand dropped, Sketchy took over.

"Seriously, guys, I could take to the roof. It's only fifty feet and—"

"Not the dump truck! The guy's parked there! He's gonna see him!"

"Dudes, I can run pretty fast. They wouldn't be—"

"Then where you think we hide him?" Herbal snapped with unusual ferocity. 

Sketchy held up his hands. "Whoa man, I'm just saying: walking him past the guy is not the greatest plan."

"We can't let them take him!" Herbal growled, his usual joviality gone. So much for peace, love and Jah.

Herbal jammed his multicolored hat over Alec's head. 

Alec screwed up his face. The hat smelled like thyme and beer.

"That's not going to work!"

"You have a better idea, mon?" Herbal gave Alec a thumbs up but turned back to Sketchy before he could follow suit. He was left standing there, the hat crookedly sliding over his right eye. 

Alec felt weirdly displaced, like he was not really there, watching two guys argue how to help him.

"He should be conspicuous, not to scream 'Here I am, cop!'"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I could see that hat from sector three!"

"All the more they will not see him."

"How does that make any—"

" _There_ you are."

All three of them turned—sort of, it was a tight corridor—towards Original Cindy. She stood at the other end of the alley, her arms folded across her chest.

"Where were you two idiots taking him?" Cindy exasperated. Her gaze wandered up. "And what the hell is that on his head?"

"Herbal's hat," Sketchy volunteered. 

"Original Cindy thinks it should go back on Herbal's head." Cindy pursed her mouth. "Are you done dragging him around? Normal's hollering and someone's looking for him."

"That's why the hat," Sketchy said, gesturing to the rainbow squatting on top of Alec's head.

Herbal helpfully jammed it harder over Alec's head. Seriously, _thyme_ and beer. What the hell?

Cindy studied Alec. Her mouth softened as she took in Alec's stance, his left hand clawing the brick wall, ready to free climb.

"Matt Sung's here to see you." Cindy plucked the hat off his head. With a faint look of disgust, she tossed it back to Herbal. "I delivered some boxes to him before for Logan."

Alec didn't relax, not really, but he found himself able to breathe again. His hand dropped to his side.

"Oh," Alec said weakly.

Original Cindy shimmied in closer and snagged Alec's elbow.

"Come on, hanging around these two makes you stupider."

"Hey!" It wasn't clear which of them protested the loudest as Cindy tugged Alec out the alley he ducked (dragged) into.

 

Detective Matt Sung chewed on what looked like a coffee stirrer as he leaned next to the front doors of _Jam Pony_. He greeted a few of the friendlier messengers with a nod. He looked like he always did when he met with Logan: gray off the rack suit, rumpled blue tie and long flappy beige coat. His badge was clipped to his belt, but his holster was now tucked to the back of his trousers. Despite his combed back black hair and clean-shaven jaw, Sung looked overworked, war weary. Maybe that was the default look for every post Pulse working slob.

At Cindy's sharp whistle, Sung turned their way. He arched an eyebrow at Cindy and Alec emerging out of the alley.

"He's shy," Cindy explained as she dragged Alec over to him. She brushed off imaginary lint from her cropped red tee, glowered at Alec when she caught his unabashed leer and sauntered off. Almost immediately, her voice matched Normal's volume as they argued about sick days.

Alec caught Sung's contemplative study when he turned back to the detective. He stiffened. 

Sung, noting Alec's reaction, smiled tentatively.

The bruise on Sung's face was an impressive red mark on his jaw. The cut lip was still puffy at one end, the scab a thick line of healing tissue. It made Sung's small smile a gruesome one.

"Sorry," Sung offered. "I tried to tell everyone I wasn't here to bust you." He unfolded a sketch and handed it to Alec. 

"But I never caught your name. I guess going around asking if anyone recognized you made it sound worse than it really was."

The sketch showed Alec with longer hair, beady eyes and a jaw square enough to cut. The nose was longer and a little too round at the tip. It looked like Alec got punched in the mouth; his lower lip was too full. Nevertheless, the sketch was close enough.

"This..." Alec swallowed, "looks nothing like me." He suppressed the urge to snatch the paper up. There was what felt like an icy rock rolling around in his gut. The flyer crinkled in his grasp. 

Alec's laugh came off flat to his ears. "I look much better in person."

"I only made one copy," Sung said quietly. He stood a few inches taller than Alec; he easily read over Alec's shoulder. "I left this with no one."

The paper folded into quarters. Alec tucked it in his back pocket. Sung didn't ask for it back.

"Should I be flattered?" Alec joked weakly.

Sung smiled faintly. He cleared his throat.

"You dropped your pager in the park." Sung extended it to Alec. "Traced the number. Figured you might want it back." 

"Damn." Alec tucked the device into his pocket. He grimaced. "I totally forgot about that stupid thing."

"You had other things on your mind at the time," Sung offered. He paused before adding, "Matthew Sung."

Alec shrugged. "I know."

Sung blinked. "Oh...Okay. Uh, and you are..."

"Dean," Alec said reluctantly. He studied the hand Sung extended before clasping it. It was firm, dry and the detective let go quickly as soon as Alec pulled back.

"Thanks for the help before." Sung arched an eyebrow when he caught Sketchy and Herbal glowering at him from the alley. Crammed side by side in a narrow lane, they were either going to charge at Sung or grab Alec and head for the hills.

Alec found himself grinning goofily at them. 

"Wave," Alec suddenly said.

"What?"

Alec snickered to himself. "Just wave. They were pretty sure you were here to spell my doom." He studied Sung and waited.

Bemused, Sung gave a short wave.

Cans skittered out the alley as the two scrambled back into the alley. A cat screeched outraged in the distance.

Sung smiled, still not getting it, but he wasn't acting like he wanted to tag the two either. He darted Alec a look.

"How's Logan?"

And just like that, Alec's good mood evaporated.

"Still an idiot," Alec said bluntly, "but at least he's not a dead idiot."

To Alec's surprise—today seemed to be a day for it—Sung only shrugged. He slipped his hands in his coat pockets. 

"You know Max?" Sung asked abruptly.

"I know _of_ Max," Alec corrected. He studied Sung. "You could say we're related." _Or share the same test tube._

Sung nodded absently. He didn't blink at some of the stuff going on around him, stuff Alec thought a cop starving for a promotion might jump at to score some points.

"You'll be sticking around?" 

Alec furrowed his brow. "Sure? I'm not planning on trips any time soon; I'm sort of used to this dump."

Sung straightened up from the wall. 

"Well, in that case." Sung pulled out a roll of papers from inside his coat. He hesitated, his gaze lingering on Alec. He nodded to himself. 

"Here. Fill these out."

Alec squinted at the forms. 

"Motorcycle permits?" Alec read skeptically.

Sung nodded towards to something parked on the curb in front of _Jam Pony_. Alec's eyes followed and rounded. His head whipped back to Sung, his mouth agape.

"It wasn't stolen merchandise or part of the evidence against those Steelheads we'd rounded up." There was a small, pleased smile when Sung checked Alec's reaction. "You left it on the airstrip. Thought you might want it back, but you'll need to register it before you can ride it again."

Alec blinked at the red and white beauty parked on the curb. He had some regret at the time for leaving it in the airstrip, but then Logan had tipped his head out Sung's car window and threw up. He pretty much forgot about the bike after that.

"In case Logan is an idiot again," Sung murmured. 

Startled, Alec turned back to the detective.

"I knew him when he was a cyber journalist. Before the shooting, he'd never took this many risks. Even when he started working for _Eyes Only_." Sung frowned to himself. "When Bling disappeared, I thought he would recruit more help, but he was determined to go it alone."

"Still is," Alec grumbled. The forms curled in his hands. 

Sung nodded, unsurprised, his mouth twisting unhappily. He glanced over to Alec. 

"Something tells me that never stopped you before."

Alec gave it some thought. He looked over to Sung and flashed him a toothy grin.

 

_"...cannot be traced..."_

It was weird.

_"... This is a Streaming Freedom Video bulletin...."_

It wasn't like Alec didn't know who Logan was before.

_"...routinely dip into the pension funds of hard working..."_

Alec heard Logan as _Eyes Only_ plenty of times after finding out his big secret.

_"...retiring only to find they have nothing..."_

But now...

_"....will be stopped..."_

_Eyes Only_ sounded...different. _Logan_ sounded different.

_"...peace. Out."_

It was like Logan was talking only to Alec now. The tenor syllables rippled under his skin and seemed to wrap around his coc—

"You're drooling."

Alec tore his eyes away from the screen above the bar. As soon as the hack ended, the patrons who filled _Crash_ went back to their own, very loud business.

It wasn't loud enough to drown out Original Cindy though. She was vibrating 'smug' all the way down to her red high tops. 

Alec glowered at Original Cindy. She stood there, smirking as she stood over his bar table.

"That's because those jeans look really good on you." Alec leered. He wiped his sleeve across his mouth; just in case.

Cindy's smirk broadened. "Uh huh."

"Shut up," Alec muttered. He glared at her as she slid over. "Yeah, sure, have a seat." He hugged his peanut bowl closer to him.

"Hello, lady and gent." Sketchy nearly flipped over the railing as he slid across the beer slicked floor to them. Herbal nodded in greeting when he came over. Both stared at Alec with open curiosity. 

Alec inwardly cringed.

"So what's the scoop on the G-man this morning?" Sketchy asked breathlessly. 

"You got troubles need dispelling?" Herbal nodded to himself. "I put in a good word to Jah for you, mon. He'll look out for you."

Alec blinked. "Uh...thanks." He arched an eyebrow at them.

"Just out of curiosity: what were you guys figuring to do?"

Sketchy shrugged. Herbal copied him.

Original Cindy scoffed. "These two?" She plucked a peanut out of Alec's bowl. It bounced off Sketchy's bristly chin. "Be glad they didn't put you in a box and send you out as a hot run."

Sketchy fidgeted. "Uh...That was Plan G."

Cindy glowered at them under her lashes.

"I still say sewer was the best way," Herbal griped.

"Sure, we sneak him past where the guy was parked. _Great_ plan."

"We disguise him," Herbal shot back. He pointed to his hat.

Alec coughed. "No offense, but I think you're the only one who can make that hat work." He raised his beer and they all tapped their mugs together. He smiled crookedly as he considered the two. He gestured to the bartender to bring another round over on his tab. 

"You guys were really going to stick your necks out for me, huh?" Alec mused as he watched them drain their mugs. Sketchy thanked him with a belch.

Sketchy and Herbal exchanged baffled looks.

Herbal bumped Alec's shoulder with a fist. "You a decent, mon. I gotta watch out for my boy. Jah looking out for all of us."

Sketchy knocked an elbow into Herbal, who playfully bumped him back. "Us ponies gotta stick together."

" _Ponies_?" Cindy repeated archly.

Sketchy beamed. "Like _Jam Pony_ , ponies? You like that?"

Original Cindy folded her arms in front. "No." 

"Aw, I think it's catchy."

"Original Cindy thinks your stupid is catching."

"We need something to build camaraderie, company loyalty—"

"It's called a pay raise."

"Money isn't everything—"

"Since when?

Herbal dropped a hand on Alec's shoulder. 

"You all right, mon?" Herbal's brow lined with concern. "The man was bad news?"

Alec thought about the motorcycle parked outside the bar. He thought about the temporary permit in his back pocket.

"Nah." Alec shook his head. "He was only dropping something off."

Herbal nodded, his frown smoothing out. "Then it's all good?"

"...business opportunity of a lifetime!" Sketchy was at it again with his latest idea.

"...I am _not_ wearing a metal bra! Original Cindy is not for sale?"

"Not even for ren—ow!"

Alec bit back the grin that wanted to burst through as he watched Sketchy run for his life from Cindy. Again. He could feel Herbal hovering near and thought how firm his grip had been steering Alec to safety. 

Alec felt a weird, warm sensation blooming in his chest.

"Yeah man," Alec murmured as his fist rose. "It's all good."

Herbal bumped his fist with a smile.

 

Alec's bike squealed to a halt, stopping short of a guy in a suit about to step off the curb. The man gave him a dirty look, but then it melted to a speculative one. Alec flashed him a grin and hoped to hell he wasn't one of his old Fifties. He quickly turned away before the guy got a good look and rolled his front wheel up to the curb

"Hey." Alec almost went past Logan in his haste to get back to _Jam Pony_. But the early evening breeze went by and he caught that familiar scent of coffee and old paper and _Logan_. His hands had squeezed on the handlebar brakes before he registered why.

Logan smiled. "Hey." It almost sounded like a question. 

Something jabbed in his chest because _yeah_ , six days of nothing after that night was a dick move. Probably. Maybe. 

Alec raised a hand to rub his neck before he remembered the bandage. Logan's eyes drifted up to his neck.

"Better?" Logan asked, casually as if asking about the weather. He pretended to be fascinated by the people walking about. 

Alec shrugged. His neck didn't pull at the gesture and he knew Logan noticed because he nodded, relaxing.

"New glasses?" Alec nodded to the coppery thin frames. 

"I was told my spares were unflattering," Logan deadpanned.

Alec pretended to shudder. "They looked like a ton of ugly sat on your face." The spectacles seemed to pick out the golden flecks in Logan's eyes. He realized he was staring.

"Those look good though. Very glasses like."

_Glasses like? What the hell, 494?_

Logan blinked. His brow knitted. "Uh...thanks."

Alec dug his thumb nail into the rubber grip around his handlebar. "I guess it's been a few days..." He peered over; Logan's face was deliberately blank. Something in his gut squirmed. 

"I was going to drop by, you know, molest your lesbian vases, rifle through your drawers, eat your food..."

Logan murmured a sound, agreeing. "Nobody's been eating the peanut butter."

Alec scoffed half heartedly. He rocked his bike lightly. He was suddenly aware of how many people were around them. There was a vague creepy crawly sensation of being watched. He eyed the bodies around them; no one seemed to be paying them mind. Everybody was too busy trying to not be here and go someplace else. 

"It really has been busy," Alec fumbled. "Normal was pissed when I got back last week, even with those backdated forms—thanks for those, by the way—but a couple of guys up and quit on him so he needed every biker he had on hand." 

Logan brushed a hand down his sea green henley. "I've been busy myself." 

Alec almost said that he knew, because _Eyes Only_ never stopped transmitting and Alec may or may not have been perched on various rooftops every night.

"Heard you haven't needed messenger service lately. You're breaking Normal's heart."

Logan shrugged. The dark denim jacket rose with his shoulders.

Alec caught sight of the shoulder holster underneath. He narrowed his eyes.

Logan tensed. His jaw flexed. 

Alec exhaled slowly through his nose. He loosened his white knuckled grip around his handlebars.

"More porn?" Alec asked with forced lightness.

Eyes widened a fraction. Tension bled out of Logan's shoulders. 

"Rain, sleet or snow," Logan returned. His smile was strained. He rested his hands on the wheelchair's hand rims. He'd forgotten his grip gloves again. 

Alec made a face. "Wasn't that the motto for the post office?"

Logan's eyes drifted to Alec's bike. "Speaking of deliveries..."

"Oh yeah, hot run on Cove street. I'm done for the day." Alec peeled back the tape over his watch. "I am supposed to be done delivering it in another hour." He grinned cheekily. "Shortcuts."

With a snort, Logan nodded. "They are useful."

"Hell yeah." Alec nodded towards Logan. He smirked.

"I almost didn't recognize you outside in the daylight."

"I do go out during the day."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Sure, to meet some creepy guy in an abandoned zoo—I mean, for _porn_ , sure, but what about for fun?"

" _Fun_?" Logan echoed. He squinted at Alec, mouth decidedly tilted downward at Alec's slip.

"Fun? You know; activities that require your clothes off?" Alec waggled his eyebrows.

Logan sputtered. "Not everything requires being naked."

Alec pulled an outraged face. "Then what's the point?"

The two chuckled. The strange suffocating air over them seemed to have _popped_. Logan smiled ruefully up at Alec.

Alec studied his front tire. Damn, it was looking a little flat.

"You, ah, done for the day?" Alec asked finally.

Logan sighed. "Yeah."

Alec frowned. "Well, don't get too excited about it." He bumped his bike lightly to one of Logan's wheels. "It's just porn, after all."

Logan peered up at him over his glasses. "It isn't just porn." He shook his head. His wheelchair creaked as he inched it back and forth. It appeared he wasn't sure which way he was going.

"You have to go back now?" Alec blurted.

The wheelchair stilled.

Alec brushed his knuckles across the handlebars. "I mean, since you're already out with the rest of us ordinary folk, we could grab a bite to eat. There's a place around the corner that looks fancy enough for you. They might want to hose me down first before stepping in but when I rode by, it smelled kind of good."

Logan looked hunted. "Oh. It's a little early for dinner. You should get back and clock out—"

"One of the guys would do it for me."

The wheelchair rolled back a fraction. 

"I should get back." Logan squeezed the hand rims. His knuckles were white around them. "More porn." He chuckled awkwardly.

Alec frowned. "But you said you were done for the day."

"Porn doesn't have nine to five." The back of Logan's hands flexed, tendons stood out from the knuckles to wrists. "There's no regular hours."

Alec canted his head. "Doesn't your hands get tired like that?"

" _Excuse me_?" Logan's voice cracked. He whipped his eyes left and right to their surroundings.

Brow furrowed, Alec opened his palms then flexed them closed. "I mean if you hold on too tight, you're gonna cut off your circulation. Doesn't that give you cramps once you let go? You gotta remember your gloves."

" _Gloves_?" For some reason, Logan sounded like he was choking. His arms shook. It looked like Logan was either going to make a break for it or tip out of his chair. He was holding onto his hand rims for dear life.

Alec wiggled his fingers to show off his gear. "Yeah. I make sure to use them every time. Gives you a better grip. That way even if your hands sweat, when you grab on tight, you're not gonna slip of—what the hell is wrong with you?" 

Logan coughed and coughed behind a fist. His ears were bright red like whenever Alec— _Oh_.

Alec's eyes widened. The flush traveled from Logan's ears down to his neck now. 

Quickly reviewing their conversation, Alec cackled.

"Shit, you thought—no, no..." Alec rested his elbows in the bars. His sides ached as he tried to dam the howls that wanted to break free. "No, I was talking about—oh God..."

Alec couldn't finish. Gulping back a giggle, he gestured to Logan, more specifically, the remaining hand still clutched over the hand rim. When Logan looked down at himself and blinked, a snicker escaped between Alec's lips.

"You thought..." Alec clapped a hand over his mouth. People were definitely staring now. His other hand waved wildly at Logan.

"We were talking about porn before. What was I supposed to think?" Logan grumbled. A flush crept up his face, but Logan smiled crookedly at Alec. 

Alec hiccupped as he leaned into the bike's handlebars. His head felt like it was going to float away from his body from the lack of oxygen.

"It wasn't that funny," Logan griped, but his eyes crinkled at the corners.

"It really was," Alec told him as he gulped down a giggle. "I—" 

A high pitched hum reached Alec's ears. He froze.

In order to keep the peace, to stop the Pulse induced protesting and looting, the government had programmed their million dollar sentries to listen for sounds that reach a certain decibel.

By now, even Logan could hear it. His chuckles faded. He swore under his breath.

A hoverdrone floated from down the block, aiming straight for them because it couldn't distinguish laughter from shouting. People glanced up at it warily as it glided through the air purposefully. Some backed away from Alec and Logan so they wouldn't be accidentally roped in.

Alec casually turned his head away. He found himself staring at a market in front of them. There was a sign, announcing a meat delivery; not that anyone could afford it.

The bike underneath him felt insufficient. He could ride it slowly, nonchalantly and maybe it'll dismiss him. Or maybe it'll zero in on the bandage around his neck. Maybe it'll be able to see under the light padding, the thin new scab and see a bar code that refuses to go away. 

Alec could still hear that damn hoverdrone humming, whirring as it bobbed closer, scanning bored rich people wandering the streets. He curled his hands tighter on the bars.

"I need to pick up more peanut butter," Logan said abruptly. His wheelchair bumped into Alec's front wheel as he turned. 

The chain rattled as Alec wound it through his front wheel and around a lamp post. He forced himself not to run into the market after Logan.

 

Alec blinked. 

It was one of those fancy market chains, ones that survived reasonably well after the Pulse. They still suffered food shortages like everybody else and occasionally sold questionable stuff, but they were able to keep their shelves reasonably full. 

Alec wondered if this was what it was like before the Pulse: people idly walking up and down aisles stuffed with food. Did people stand in front of shelves wondering what to make for dinner or did they too debated which they could afford: milk or days old bread? 

Standing by the entrance, Alec thought he could still hear the hoverdrone buzzing and lurking outside, waiting for him to come out so it could spot his bar code and...

Logan snagged Alec's sleeve before he could reach behind his neck.

"Can you grab a basket?" Logan let go and was already steering for the first aisle marked _Produce_.

Alec looked numbly after Logan. He could hear the wheelchair tread sticking briefly to the floor. He glanced behind him before he grabbed a bright red plastic wire basket and trotted after Logan.

 

By the time Logan and Alec went through three aisles, the basket was full. Alec poked through the unfamiliar packages of cookies, bread and cheese (one was riddled with blue spots, ew). The boxes of dried pasta rattled and the plump tomatoes were _fascinating_. He found himself smiling down at them, bemused at the waxy skin and lipstick red gleam. He was used to them coming out of a can or squishy and gross like. These were firm and shit, they _rolled_.

Alec hooked an arm through the handles as he trailed behind Logan. His eyes lazily wandered up the top shelves to look at the sparse selections. Logan rolled in front of him silently, barely looking at anything. 

"So this is how the other half lives, huh?" Alec mused as he picked up a jar of pickles and made a face at them. 

Logan grimaced. "Welcome to the shining example of the economic inequality. The wealthy gets richer; the working class works harder just to break even."

Alec juggled the tomatoes one handed as he followed Logan into the next row. He winked at a passing woman wearing a coat that would cost a month's pay.

"Huh." Alec bounced the tomatoes on his elbow and into the basket. "Surprised you're not breaking into hives coming in here."

Logan nodded curtly. "I'm not exactly guiltless. My family's business runs off the paranoia of a post Pulse world." He glared at a jar of olives like he wanted to shoot it.

"Saw my uncle Jonas yesterday and we talked about how people are shot down every day and no one notices." Logan made a face. "We sat around drinking martinis and eating olives while we lamented."

Alec snorted. "Maybe _he_ lamented." He bumped a corner of the basket to Logan's shoulder. "You do more than that."

Logan gave Alec a tired smile. "I'm making the world better with my porn?"

A woman with a shopping cart strolled by. She made a face. Alec shared a smirk with Logan.

Alec plucked the jar of olives Logan glowered at and shook it. He screwed up his face at the oily slick globes bobbing in vinegar.

"If you feel that guilty about it, you could come see how the other half lives." Alec waggled the jar in front of Logan. "Or eat. There's a good pizza place around the corner from here. A couple of the guys eat there a lot."

A shadow flickered across Logan's face. A wan smile flashed; Logan turned his chair and wheeled further down.

"Hey, they have olives too," Alec called out as he trailed Logan. He set the olive jar down and brightened when he spotted an entire row of peanuts. He hefted the canister. He frowned at the price.

"Whoa, are you kidding me?" Alec grumbled as he regretfully put it back. " _Crash_ gives a bowl of it free with two beers."

"You can't get drunk," Logan pointed out.

"Hey, I'm blending in with the rest of the ponies. And like I said: free peanuts."

"Ponies?" Logan repeated as he reached up and took the peanut canister and tossed it in the basket without looking.

"Something Sketchy had said. Nice shot, by the way," Alec admired. "Three points."

Logan paused. His gaze slid up to Alec.

Alec shrugged. "Mrs. Moreno mentioned you played. And noticed you still had a ball lying around." 

Logan glanced away as he seemed to debate between two different jars of peanut butter. 

Alec studied the line of Logan's throat as he swallowed.

"I wasn't trying to snoop or anything." Alec poked the jars on the shelf by his ear and herded them into a neat row of soldiers. "Mrs. Moreno likes to talk."

Logan lifted a shoulder, but he didn't look back Alec's way.

"Used to play," Logan said casually. He weigh a jar of peanut butter in each hand before he placed them both back. 

"Yeah? Were you any good?"

Logan scanned the label of a new jar he cradled with both hands. "I was okay."

"It's starting to get warm again," Alec pointed out as Logan dropped the jar in the full basket. 

"It's getting pretty busy too." Logan passed Alec another jar. "You know how it is."

Watching Logan poke through the shelves for whatever the hell he was looking for made Alec's guts twist. He glanced down into the basket and the several jars of peanut butter Logan was dropping in then putting back.

"Too bad," Alec finally said. He inwardly grimaced when Logan flinched. He hastily added, "Did you win a lot of money?"

Leaning away from the shelf, Logan canted his eyes up to Alec. There were lines at the corners of his mouth, but he smiled anyway. 

"We never played for money."

"Seriously?" Alec gaped at Logan's retreating back. "I would have."

Logan snorted as he pitched over his shoulder a small tube of dried oregano leaves into the basket. 

"Show off."

 

"I think your fridge is going to go into shock." 

Alec made a face as Logan absently grabbed a tiny glass jar and passed it to him. 

"I don't think your fridge ever had a third of this stuff in there." Alec arched an eyebrow at the shelves. "Hell, _I_ don't think _I_ ever had a third of this stuff either."

"This can't be new for you," Logan remarked as he squinted myopically into the basket. Alec tilted it towards him. Logan frowned. He twisted around to the shelves.

"Hey, where I come from, everything was made by formulas, not by chefs." Alec glance around them before he continued. Just in case, he stepped closer and lowered his voice.

"You eat whatever gray perfectly balanced crap they gave you and hoped it wasn't laced to _test_ you." He wasn't sure why Logan stared at him so intently. Alec spun around and stared at the top shelves instead. Who the hell would want jellied fish?

"The rest of it, you learn to eat if it related to your mission." Like learning how to discern good caviar from bad to get closer to the target he needed to garrote in the Russian mafia. 

"You know," Alec said brightly, "I was once taught to identify twenty three types of green tea. We should do one of those fancy tea shops by the Chinese embassy. I could show you a thing or two about tea leaves. What do you say?"

Logan's gaze was a physical weight. Alec's scab burned like his bar code was bleeding through for the world to see.

"Are you going to be _in the mood_ to eat even half of this stuff?" Alec abruptly shoved the basket close enough Logan had to lean back.

Logan wordlessly handed over another jar. 

"What the hell is this? _Anchovies_? But you already got sardines."

"Different fish," Logan said distractedly. He stared at a can of white beans in front of him. "Good for salad dressing."

"Salad? If you say so," Alec said, skeptical. He gaped at the stacks of canned tuna in the shelf next to him. "Dude, just how many types of fish—" He turned around and frowned.

"It's all right," Logan told a man in a blue apron. It had the market's name in dingy white letters. Logan smiled tightly at the man, who was Logan's age, tall and athletic and speaking a little too slowly and a little too loudly.

"Are you sure?" apron guy said in an overly friendly voice. He spoke to somewhere past Logan's ear, his blue eyes glued to a fascinating spot on Logan's forehead.

"I could reach the top shelves for anything and leave them by the registers for you." Apron guy dropped a hand on Logan's shoulder.

"That's okay, man," Alec said as he stepped between them. His elbow may or may not have jabbed the helpful helper. He showed his teeth in his grin. "We're good."

Apron guy beamed. Alec wanted to punch the dimples he flashed Logan. 

"Wonderful! You have a friend! Well, when you want any help, my name is Joey. I'll be right over there if you need me, sir."

Then Joey patted Logan's shoulder and walked away.

"Alec!" Logan hissed. He hooked a finger into Alec's belt loop.

Alec blinked. He stared stupidly at his feet to find he'd taken a step forward towards freckled, dimpled face helpful Joey who smiled, _touched_ Logan and fucking stood over him like he was going to grab Logan by the face and devour his mo—

A sharp pinch behind his left knee cut through Alec's red haze. He yelped, scrambled not to drop the basket and spun around to glower at Logan.

"You were growling." Logan pushed up his eyeglasses and frowned at Alec. 

"He wasn't trying to be cruel."

Alec tightened his hands around the basket's handles. 

"Oh, yeah, okay," Alec fumbled. "Because, yeah, it's not like you're helpless. I thought...I don't know..."

Logan smiled tightly. His eyes were dull, though.

"He thought he was kind." Logan shrugged. His wheelchair spun sharply to the other side of the aisle. "He didn't mean anything by it."

 _But it meant something to you_ , Alec thought as he considered the stiff shoulders. 

There were more customers filling the corridors. Helpful Joey forgot all about Logan now as he bounced from one customer to the next. Ignoring everyone, Logan rooted around the shelf by him. 

Some of the customers drifting by shot Logan a pitying look. One or two stooped down and loudly offered Logan help, which Logan politely refused with a pinched smile. Others appeared irritated as they tried to veer around Logan's chair. Occasionally, one gave Logan's chair a dirty look, only to be chastised by a well meaning, loud, passerby.

Meanwhile, Logan seemed focused on finding the best dented can of white beans on the god damn planet. Head bent, eyes glued to the shelf, the rest of his face was expressionless. Even his usual wild tufts of brown hair seemed to droop. 

There was a bubble growing in Alec's chest, swelling hot and large, pushing against his ribs. He suddenly wanted to hit them, those faces that stared and grimaced at the chair, stared without remorse at Logan's back, his legs. Alec could see it. He could hear their thoughts as their eyes avoided meeting Logan's.

 _Thank God that's not me_.

Alec gazed down at the basket. It occurred to him everything was from the lower shelves. 

"I'm thinking of heading home after this," Logan said. Tired eyes flicked over and slid away. "Maybe next time? The pizza, I mean."

"Yeah, sure, it was just an idea," Alec mumbled. One guy in a business suit stared at the back of Logan's head with open curiosity, pity and horror. Alec wondered if the asshole would see Logan differently with a well placed kick to a certain spot in the femur. 

"You got all this food," Alec went on. "We could totally feast on this stuff." He sidestepped until he stood behind Logan, his hip against a shoulder. He could see the corded neck muscles running down from under Logan's jaw. 

"You don't have to stay for dinner."

Alec scoffed. "As if you'll eat all this yourself. I'm giving you a chance to show off your gourmet skills." He rattled the basket. "I'm generous like that."

Logan tilted his head back to look at Alec. He gave him a quick smile. He then turned back and stared at the canned fish on his eye level.

The words died in Alec's mouth. He felt eyes brushing past, skimming over him, lingering over Logan's chair. He could feel their gazes, like scopes zeroing on his bar code. He didn't look down at Logan. He could feel the stiffness against his leg. He could see the white knuckles around the hand rims. He averted his eyes and studied the shelves over Logan's head.

Alec cleared his throat. "Hey."

Logan's hands curled tighter around the hand rims. 

Alec poked the cans on the top shelf. 

"There's like seven kinds of fish in a can here. Can we try them all for dinner?"

Logan's chuckle was both relieved and startled. 

 

Anchovies were surprisingly tasty.

Alec pinched another thin strip out of the jar and dropped it onto his tongue. He loudly smacked his lips as he savored the salty tang before gulping the slippery morsel.

Remembering his manners, Alec tipped the open jar towards Logan. "Want?" 

Logan made a face. He went back to emptying the bags into the lower cabinets. Turned out there were _eleven_ different types of canned fish. 

Alec frowned. "Didn't you say these were good?"

"Good for salad dressing," Logan corrected him. The fridge muffled him as he leaned into it. "You chop it up and blend it in."

Alec pulled back a sliver dangling between two fingers. Seemed like a waste of a tasty fishy. He slurped down that piece. He blinked when he realized the jar was half full. 

"Crap."

Logan glanced over his shoulder. An eyebrow rose.

"Maybe I should have gotten _two_ jars." Logan backed away from the fridge. "I thought you were kidding about trying all of them."

Alec's brow furrowed. He gestured to the cans he had stacked up in order of what he planned to taste next. 

"Why would I be kidding about that?" Alec scrutinized the top tin. "And why the hell did they put a mermaid on a can of tuna? Are we supposed to think we're eating _that_?" He gagged.

"I thought..." Logan shook his head. For some reason, his ears tipped. His shoulders dropped its rigid line. "Never mind." He wheeled around Alec. "I think I have a can opener in he—"

The can made a satisfying wet _pop_ sound when Alec pried the lid back.

"S'okay," Alec called out as he stabbed the next can with the tip of the knife he kept in his boot. "I got it. Do you want to try the albacore one with water or oil?" He blinked at Logan's stare.

"What?"

 

To Alec's bemusement, Logan insisted on plates. He toasted sliced baguettes and insisted on lettuce. Admittedly, the crisp green leaves were a nice sweet crunch. The plates and wine was a bit much, though. He supposed it was a rich person thing.

It was already past curfew by the time all the cans were pried open—with Alec's blade and Logan's can opener. The dining table was a mess of files—no surprise there. They ended up eating on the coffee table, each sitting on one end of the couch.

White wine glinted in tall, thin glasses. Forks clinked against bowls of canned tuna, mackerel, salmon and some weird whitefish Alec wasn't too crazy about.

"...so now I got to figure out where to park this thing otherwise I'm waking up to a disassembled ride in the morning." Alec smashed a piece of fish over a baguette slice. He crunched loudly.

Logan swirled the wine absently in the glass. 

"That was nice of Matt to expedite your permits," Logan murmured. His gaze slid over to Alec. "Any particular reason why?"

Alec's fingers paused over the bowl of anchovies. He grabbed it as he shrugged.

"Because I'm pretty? Because it was thanks for saving his ass? I dunno." Alec dabbed a piece of bread in the oily slick at the bottom of the anchovies bowl. The bread crunched; the soaked texture was salty and vinegary on his tongue. Anchovies were _awesome_.

"You sure you don't want to try this? Even without a salad, it's—"

"Alec."

Alec heaved a sigh. "All right. He gave it to me in case, you know..." He looked over and caught Logan's frown. "I didn't tell him you wanted me to stay out of your business. I didn't tell him I was doing anything for you either." Alec chewed on the baguette end to dam whatever else wanted to come out.

"I got a free ride out of it. Hell, I wasn't going to say anything to make him change his mind." Alec grinned. "There's a Steelhead out there pretty pissed about it, too. All the better."

Logan shot him a look over his spectacles.

Alec rolled his eyes. "Not everything is about you, _Eyes Only_. I wanted the bike. He thought I would use it to be your sidekick, so he gave it to me, who was I to argue?"

"Well," Logan said lightly, "I supposed that was better than the dinner I planned as a thank you."

Alec grinned. "You mean this wasn't it?"

"I had something better than canned fish in mind," Logan said wryly.

"If you really want to thank me; there's a restaurant on Culver that's claiming their burgers is pure beef." Alec waved a hand as he forked some canned salmon with the other. "Fancy joint, but I can find a suit and tie somewhere. Think 9B wears my size."

Logan said nothing. He leaned forward and carefully spooned some tuna over a baguette slice.

Alec surreptitiously watched Logan arrange the chunks of canned tuna on a slice, sprinkled some chopped onion on it and dappled what looked like cream with a tiny spoon. 

"Or you could buy me dinner at the pizza place I was telling you about," Alec said. "The guys at _Jam Pony_ said the mushroom pie's the best." His stomach lurched when Logan only gave him a weak smile before setting down the appetizer on an empty plate. 

Thinking quickly, Alec grabbed a baguette slice. He copied Logan: spooning tuna, onion and whatever green, grass looking herb on top. He gave it a tentative sniff. 

"That doesn't look right," Alec grumbled as he set it next to Logan's on the plate. "What do you think?" 

Long fingers framed the piece Alec made. Logan gave it a tentative bite.

"Well?" Alec popped Logan's slice in his mouth.

"A little more onion."

Alec screwed up his face. "Are you sure?" He bit back a smirk when Logan ate the rest of it. He watched Logan's lower lip, pursed as he chewed thoughtfully.

"Anything else?" Alec stammered as Logan's tongue flicked out to swipe across his lower lip. 

"Maybe more parsley, too." Logan decided. He watched Alec make another.

"Seems like a lot of fuss for canned fish," Alec half-heartedly grumbled as he smeared the tuna over a new baguette slice. He snuck in more onion before passing it to Logan. "I gotta admit; they don't look like much but it is tasty." 

"Before the Pulse, there used to be an entire aisle of canned fish." Logan scrutinized the latest piece. He held it up with two fingers.

"No good?" 

Logan took a bite and made a face. "Too much onion." He blinked when Alec passed him the newest version. He dutifully ate that one too. "Not enough."

"This is too complicated," Alec grumbled. "And a whole row of fish?" He shook his head. "I'll be happy if it only takes me two stores to find goat's milk."

"You've been getting headaches again?" Logan frowned mildly. He didn't appear to notice Alec shoved a new baguette piece in his hand. "I can get more tryp—"

Alec rolled his eyes. "I'm fine. I got enough for months, even enough to hit Chinatown two more times. Stop trying to save everybody. It's fine. I was just saying."

"There are two jugs of goat milk in the back of the fridge," Logan murmured and Alec knew that distant look. Logan was already making lists and plans in his mind. Before, he thought it was Logan's porn face. Sadly, no, _Eyes Only_ apparently didn't do porn faces.

"And I'm not trying to save everybody." Logan ate the piece Alec snuck into his hand. "Just doing my part in a broken world." He listlessly poked his fork through the bowl of tuna. He piled it on a slice of his own. He took a small bite. 

Alec snorted. "You could do all the hacks you want." He gestured at Logan with the remaining half of baguette. "But the world will still be broken." He ripped a chunk and tossed it into Logan's wine glass.

"Three points," Logan commented. Alec bounced the next crumb off Logan's glasses.

"All I'm saying is: don't waste your time fixing something that doesn't want to be fixed," Alec groused. "People are still going to be greedy tomorrow. Paychecks are still going to be too small. Government still going to splice and dice us. And it's probably still going to rain tomorrow." 

Alec shrugged. He tore off another piece of bread and popped it into his mouth.

Logan pressed his mouth thin. "You think Manticore's still at work?" 

"Hell, if not them, someone is." Alec pitched a chunk of bread into the remains of mackerel. Another three points.

"There's always someone willing to screw someone over for a few bucks." Figuratively and literally.

Logan went quiet as he stared out his window. Seattle's sunset reflected off his glasses, momentarily hiding the dull gaze.

"You went above and beyond with Bronck." Logan watched Alec try the canned mackerel next. "Saying thank you seemed inadequate."

Alec burped as he speared another piece of fish. His fork waved wildly in the air. "You could buy me dinner."

"I could _make_ you dinner," Logan corrected.

"Tell the truth. You're afraid to be seen in public with me," Alec teased. The words, light as they were, left a sour aftertaste in his mouth.

Logan winced. "I'm not...no, never, I..."

Alec bounced a hunk of bread off Logan's chin, caught it and gulped it down.

"Relax, Heather." Alec smirked. "But you could seriously use a few hours in the sun. That pallor is going to make you stand out when you skulk around Seattle at night."

"I keep telling you; I do go out during the day too," Logan grumbled as he took Alec's newest appetizer and tried it. He shook his head. "Maybe some capers?"

"Oops. I ate all of those." Alec grinned unrepentantly. "And like I said before: going out doing your good deed for the day cavorting with the bad guys doesn't count."

Logan's face shuttered. "Can't think of a better reason." 

Alec scowled. "Whatever. At least sunbathe nude under this window." At Logan's aghast expression, Alec sniggered. "Get some color in those cheeks."

Logan's mouth snapped shut. He glared, but when he turned away, Alec caught his mouth twitching at the corners. 

"I get enough sun," Logan said firmly. He refilled his wine glass and drained it quickly. 

Alec dropped his eyes to his jeans.

"It's not always like that, is it?" Alec asked quietly. He sensed Logan tensing even though he was on the other end of the couch. "I mean, back at the market—"

"I know what you mean." Logan crooked a wry smile. "No. I just...it's sometimes tiring. People offering, helping or..." Logan slumped back into the couch.

"People can be annoying," Alec agreed as he scraped the last of the salmon into a spoon and popped it on his mouth. 

"It's not that." Logan made a face when Alec tilted the bowl of mackerel towards him. "The constant reminders..." He absently rubbed his hands up and down his thighs.

Alec averted his eyes at the gesture.

"I say forget nice," Alec said bluntly, "Just tell them to fuck off."

Logan sputtered. "I can't tell them to—"

"Why not? If they're pissing you off, tell them to go screw themselves." Alec snagged the wine bottle before Logan could. He drank from the bottle. 

"They're not pi—it's just...tiring." Logan sat there, his hands absently rubbing his legs. Alec wondered if Logan felt cold; if he should grab the fleece rolled up in the wheelchair.

"I'm tired of them reminding me." Logan dropped his head back. He breathed deeply. "Then again, maybe I'm just tired," he whispered. Alec suspected it wasn't meant for his ears.

Alec thought Logan looked tired all the time. He glanced down at the various bowls on the coffee table. His throat worked. He should have kept his stupid mouth shut.

"I..." Alec took a deep breath. "I still think you could do with a little nude sunbathing."

Logan coughed. "No thank you." He was smiling. It looked like it could shatter at any moment, though.

"Come on," Alec wheedled. "I'll keep you company?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"I have nosy neighbors," Logan chuckled.

"So we'll go to my roof!"

"Oh, _your_ roof?"

Alec rubbed his hands together. "I'll even help you put on lotion." He leered. "Even in those hard to reach places." He ducked when one of the fancy throw pillows flew his way.

"Fine," Alec huffed. "But you don't know what you're missing."

Logan scoffed. His glare wasn't intimidating with the flush on his cheeks. "I'm sure you'll be more than happy to tell me. In detail."

"Hey! What are friends for?" Alec grinned back at Logan. He checked the coffee table, his smile widening when he realized all the food was gone. 

"Thanks for the eats." Alec wiped his hands on his jeans. 

"Thanks for...many things." Logan trailed off with a smile that curled a ribbon of warmth in Alec's belly.

"Although..." Logan blinked; he appeared startled at all the empty dishes. "I should do better than canned tuna."

"It's good. Hell, you can leave a can open for me and I'll pop in for it any time." Alec's brow knitted when Logan opened his mouth before he snapped it shut. "What?"

"No. Nothing." Logan shook his head. His mouth creased at the corners at whatever he was thinking, though.

Alec lifted his shoulders. "Okay. Whatever." He paused as a memory teased. "Wait. I got it."

"Should I get my gun?" Logan asked dryly.

"Shut up," Alec shot back. His smile turned to a leer. 

"You know, if you really want to thank me, there is _one_ thing."

Logan eyed Alec warily. "And what's that?"

Slowly, Alec wiped his mouth with one of Logan's fancy napkins. He took his time folding it.

"On the roof, back when I..." Alec gestured towards his neck. "I seemed to remember you promised me if I get up..."

Out of the corner of Alec's eye, he caught Logan hastily facing forward.

"Oh." Logan's Adam's apple bobbed. "You stayed in my bed, I mean, you collapsed in it, but, well..."

Alec held up a finger. "That was one thing." He twisted around and shuffled closer. Logan leaned away, but he wasn't trying to fall out of the couch. Alec took it as a good sign.

"Now I know I was delirious and all," Alec murmured as he edged closer, "But I'm pretty sure you also promised me a kiss."

Logan laughed, strained. His voice lilted higher.

"You're kidding, right?" 

Alec smirked. His knee bumped against Logan's hip. Even though, he knew Logan couldn't feel it, he knew Logan saw it when he flicked wide green gold eyes down at himself.

"It's not like we'd never did it before." Alec's voice dropped to a hush. "And you don't seem like a guy who goes back on a promise, being a superhero and all."

"I'm not a sup—"

Alec tsked as he bracketed Logan with his arms. He nudged Logan's knees apart and stood between them. 

Logan's eyes were wide. His Adam's apple bobbed as Alec leaned into his personal space.

"You're not a superhero. I'm not a superhero," Alec murmured. "Neither one of us are bulletproof. We're both just..." He hummed. He stared openly at Logan's lush mouth.

Logan's eyes slid away. He took a deep breath. He reached up and curled his hands loosely around Alec's wrists. He didn't pull Alec's hands away. 

Alec took it as an invitation. He lowered his head.

Fingers flexed around Alec's wrists.

Alec paused. He could hear Logan's breath quickening; short, shallow, rapid rattles in his chest. He could see sweat beading at his temples. He knew if he waited any longer, he would be pushed away. He knew if he didn't wait, he would be pushed away. Alec pressed in.

In Logan's dark eyes, Alec's reflection appeared in a twisted, thin parody of himself.

Alec inwardly flinched. He paused, inches from Logan. His reflection writhed in Logan's eyes, distorted and small. He could feel Logan's body heat underneath him. Logan's hands curled loosely, not pushing away, but not pulling him in either. 

"A promise is a promise," Alec murmured. He flexed his wrists, leaning into Logan's loose grip. Warm skin brushed against the inside of Alec's wrists. He swallowed. He dove in, ignored Logan's twitch and...

Planted the wettest, sloppiest kiss on Logan's cheek.

Logan Cale, _Eyes Only_ , startled and laughed, his voice cracking only a little.

Grinning, Alec pursed his lips exaggeratedly and dropped one on the other cheek. Then his brow. His chin. The corner of his eye.

Logan sputtered, laughing as he twisted his head away.

"I thought it was only one," Logan chuckled as he turned his head the other way.

"One, ten, who can count?" Alec cackled as he noisily dropped another one into Logan's hair and nose.

Sniggering along with Logan, Alec landed a final one over Logan's mouth.

Logan's mirth died. Alec felt his own smile faded.

Alec found himself stooped over Logan. And he was painfully aware of their proximity. Close. Too close. His left knee rested on the edge of the couch, between Logan's spread legs.

Hazel eyes blinked. Alec's doppelganger disappeared briefly in the gaze. 

Silent, Logan stared up at Alec. His hands tightened around Alec's wrists. His breath drew out slowly.

Alec wasn't sure what he should say. He wasn't sure what he should do. The laughter died too quick a death. The silence rang loud in Alec's ears. Logan's eyes seemed to swirl with color yet he was silent. 

Logan opened his mouth. He shut it before he could make a sound. He tried again. Unable to say a word, Logan's brow knitted.

Alec licked his lips. He caught Logan watching at his mouth.

Staring at Logan's mouth, Alec dipped his head and pressed his lips to the corner.

Silent, Logan exhaled, his lips parting.

His hands moving up to Logan's shoulders, Alec brushed his mouth over Logan's, lingering longer, long enough to feel warm breath against his tingling mouth. He arched his back, hips leaning into Logan as he angled his head. He slipped his tongue in, tasted Logan, his fingers curling into the strong shoulders to _feel_ Logan.

Logan's hair was soft, silken as Alec carded a hand through them. He cradled Logan's head back as he kissed, teeth clacking against Logan's, tongue swiping deeper into the hot, wet cavern of Logan's mouth.

Logan made a sound, small and subdued as if Alec had devoured his strength. Suddenly, Alec was aware again of how close they were; of how he crushed Logan to the cushions.

With a gasp, Alec pulled back. They stared at each other. Their harsh breathing, ragged and in sync, sounded like accusation in Alec's ears.

"I-I guess we're even now," Alec said unsteadily. He straightened even as his body screamed he should be going the other way. He found he couldn't stand straight. He sat down heavily on the coffee table. It was a miracle he didn't break that one.

Logan stared at Alec with huge eyes. His glasses were skewed on top of his nose. His green henley sagged around the neck. 

"I guess...I guess we are," Logan murmured, shakily.

Alec tested his legs and stood up carefully. "So, uh, I guess I should be going. Thanks for the...I mean..."

"Alec."

Alec violently flinched. He faced the windows, but he couldn't bring himself to look at Logan's reflection.

"Sorry," Alec murmured. His shoulders slumped. "I fucked this up, didn't I?"

"I..." Logan took a steadying breath. 

"The pizza place you mentioned...do they deliver?" It hurt to hear the hesitation in Logan's voice. It hurt, somehow, like a dagger slipping between Alec's ribs.

"Maybe we could try it for dinner...tomorrow?" Logan's reflection on the window fidgeted. "I think I still owe you a thank you."

Alec wanted to joke the kissing wasn't that good; he wanted to leer and joked it was his pleasure.

There was a part of him, though, that wanted to crush Logan to him, press his body over that tempting length and drink every breath Logan exhale. 

Alec wanted to do all that, but it also felt like the moment he turned around, the floor underneath him will shatter like crackly thin ice.

"Sure." Alec grinned wobbly to the Logan on the glass. "Can we get anchovies on it?"

Logan's airless laugh both hurt and warmed his chest.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to BlackRoses. Thank you for the pep talk/tumblr pretty!

When Logan opened the door, he sneezed.

" _Gesundheit_ ," Alec quipped. His Yiddish, of course, was perfect. Logan squinted up at him after he nudged the giant bouquet of carnations from his face with two fingers. Alec had thrust the flowers forward as soon as Logan opened the door. Logan got a face full of pink, blue and green posies.

"From Normal," Alec explained as he dropped them onto Logan's lap. "Do you have any of that tuna left?"

"Why is Normal giving me flowers?" Logan asked warily. He shut the door and wheeled after Alec. 

Alec stuck his head in the fridge and yup, sure enough, the remaining cans from last night were still stacked in a pillar of fishy goodness.

"You haven't been calling _Jam Pony_." Alec carefully balanced the tuna and the funny spotted cheese in his arms. He backed up from the fridge with the last baguette jammed in his mouth.

"He's been freaking out that you might have taken your business elsewhere." At least that was what Alec tried to say around the bread.

Logan tapped him on the side of his knee. He caught the bread when Alec dutifully released it from his jaws.

"I haven't cheated on _Jam Pony_ ," Logan explained. He confiscated the spotty cheese, nudged Alec aside with his wheelchair and swapped it out for a pack of sliced cheese in the fridge. 

Alec leaned his elbows on the island, more than happy to let someone else do the work. Besides, Logan wore his gray sweats today and they always clung to the most interesting places every time Logan moved.

"If you say so." Alec eyed the neckline as it folded into a tiny divot that revealed a glimpse of Logan's clavicle. The skin was pale against the tan on Logan's neck. It was a tantalizing X marked the spot. 

"You're breaking Normal's heart. I haven't seen the guy this down since there was a shortage on his smelly hair gel."

Logan twisted around to set down the food on the lowered counter. His neckline gaped wider. A soft-lens glimpse of dark chest hair teased an appearance.

Alec's mouth went dry. A corner of his mouth twitched. His fingers itched.

"Besides, I thought..." Logan shrugged. Up the sweatshirt went and Alec almost smacked his head on the countertop trying to catch a glimpse of the dark trail of short hairs trailing down Logan's flat stomach and into his pants.

"You okay?"

Alec straightened up in a snap. "What? Yeah. I'm just weak with hunger."

Logan rolled his eyes. 

Mentally reviewing their conversation, Alec frowned. "Wait. You thought what?"

"Nothing. Since it's no longer secret between us about _Eyes Only_ , I just thought it would be..." Logan stopped slicing the bread.

"Thought now that I'm in the know, it would be exciting, exhilarating, _arousing_?" Alec's eyebrows went up and down.

"I was thinking awkward," Logan returned dryly.

Alec smiled crookedly. "Oh." He frowned a beat later. 

"Wait, why would you think it would be awkward? It's not like I just found out, all right? All that amateur 'Oh my God, you're _Eyes Only_ , holy shit, can you autograph my ass' was done and dealt with." He grinned cheekily at Logan's glower.

"I was _that_ close to asking, but I refrained."

"Thank you." Logan cleared his throat. "Yes, but now that I know you know and you know that I—"

"Yikes, stop that sentence. I'm getting vertigo just listening to it." Alec smirked. "Sorry. Continue."

Logan cleared his throat again, louder. Alec snickered.

"As I was saying, I didn't want to keep calling out for a messenger and for you to think I was dragging you into _Eyes Only_."

Alec's smile faded. "Hey. You told me not to get involved and I won't." He watched Logan arrange the bread on a baking sheet.

"I said I wouldn't." Alec glared at the kitchen counters over Logan's head. 

"Alec."

Reluctantly, Alec looked at Logan.

The baking sheet balanced on Logan's lap, he stared at Alec with an unreadable expression. The lines around his mouth eased a fraction.

"Sorry. I probably over-reacted."

Alec wondered if watching Logan through his scope every night counted. He grunted, his eyes sliding away.

"Whatever. Are you taking that food on a date or are you going to stick it in the oven?"

Logan scoffed. He slid the baking sheet into the oven. The _thump_ of the heavy oven door almost drowned his next words. The rough edge of his sweatshirt rolled up again and showed the line of his lower back. 

"Besides, I figured I could deliver some of the packages myself; kill two birds with one stone."

Alec's musing about what the skin would taste like fled with a mental _pop_. He frowned at the back of Logan's head.

"You meant that figuratively, right?"

Logan paused from where he was setting the temperature. "Of course." He continued with whatever gourmet thing he was doing. 

"So, I haven't been using _Jam Pony_ in a while which prompted Normal to send me _flowers_?"

"Actually, his exact words were 'I don't care if you have to serenade him, buy him dinner, or get down on your knees; just get his business back'." 

Alec chortled at Logan's arched eyebrow. "Singing's not something Manticore trained us for although I probably have DNA from some famous tenor. And buying you dinner means you're not cooking. As for on my knees..." He blatantly leered. 

"I don't think Normal and I have the same idea in mind."

There was a moment, however, when Alec's imagination went south, _too_ south. He had scrambled past a smirking Original Cindy to get to the men's room. 

"In that case," Logan said dryly, "Thank you for the flowers."

"Aw." Alec watched Logan as he balanced a tray of sliced baguettes topped with tuna and cheese. Tuna and cheese? "You're no fun, Logan Cale."

A shadow crossed Logan's face. It passed too quickly for Alec to identify.

"Blah blah woof woof," Logan deadpanned. He stooped down to the floor level oven with a small grimace.

The gray sweatshirt rose once more, revealing a stripe of skin, a glimpse of black boxer briefs peeking out from the ratty jeans. For a rich guy, Logan favored worn, faded jeans that were a bit loose around the waist but tight around muscled thighs and a firm looking as—

"What are you making?" Alec stammered. He tried not to squeak but Logan's puzzled look told him he failed. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"I mean, it looks weird. It smells good, but it looks kind of funny."

"Do you have to do that?" Logan asked, out of the blue. He wore a pinched expression like he smelled something vaguely foul.

Alec blinked. "Huh?"

"That." Logan grimaced. His right hand gestured weakly towards his neck. 

Alec glanced down at his fingers and discovered the tips were stained pink. Oh.

"Habit." Alec lowered his hand when he caught Logan staring at them. "Used to picking at the damn scab all the time to keep it from healing completely."

"Shouldn't you at least wait until the scab completely forms?" Logan's throat worked. He looked like he wanted to throw up.

Alec veered around Logan to get to the sink. He stuck his hands under the faucet without waiting to check if the water was too hot.

"You're bleeding."

"Yeah, I know," Alec mumbled as he scrubbed under his nails. He could feel warm liquid congealing on the back of his neck. His nostrils flared at the faint coppery stench.

"Can't wait for it to scab over." The water was foaming pink by the time Alec was done. "By then, it means the skin's half healed." He didn't look at Logan as he dried his hands with the towel hanging on the oven door handle.

"It's been only four weeks," Logan said quietly because of course he's been keeping track. "Today's the first time you took the bandages off."

"Not really." Alec pulled the crumpled gauze out of his jacket pocket. "I shouldn't have worn the windbreaker. High collars. Almost called out sick today."

Logan looked like he was going to lose his breakfast anyway except Alec knew the guy only drank coffee. 

"This isn't anything new," Alec snapped. He wadded up the useless gauze and threw it in the garbage bin. "This is what I have to do, all right?"

Logan's face shuttered. His mouth thinned.

"Watch the oven." Logan turned neatly in his chair and headed for the bedroom.

Alec thought any minute he was going to hear the clatter of keys. He pivoted around to the oven. He debated turning off the damn thing, forget about the food and leave. 

The sound of rubber sticking to floor drew Alec's eyes around. 

Logan's wheelchair stopped on the unspoken border between the kitchen and the dining area. The first aid kit lay on his lap.

"The bleeding is going to draw more attention than the bar code," Logan said, subdued. "Can you lower down?"

Numbly, Alec kneeled down. He stayed by the oven, his shoulder to the counter cabinets that lined the wall. He thought he could feel the air move as Logan's slow approach cut through.

"Guess I got down on my knees after all," Alec joked weakly. He jerked when Logan tugged down the collar. It had stuck to his neck.

"Sorry." Logan carefully peeled the collars further back, sliding the jacket off Alec's shoulders.

"No ointment," Alec warned, "It'll speed up the healing."

Logan's pause settled heavy between Alec's shoulders. "Bleeding hasn't stop."

"It will," Alec said bitterly. "We were made to clot faster; so we can continue fighting without distractions."

"Getting hurt shouldn't be a distraction," Logan said tightly.

Alec shrugged. He twitched when he felt the wheelchair edge closer. It was close enough he could feel Logan's knees and footrests on his back. He studied the floor as he sensed Logan behind him, using his hands to move his knees apart so Alec could kneel between them.

"I need to clean the blood first." Logan sounded apologetic. 

Alec hissed at the tentative touch on the raw edges of torn skin. Blood trickled down the back of his shirt and dried between his shoulders.

"I have a spray," Logan offered, subdued. "It'll numb the area."

"It's fine," Alec grated out. Logan's fingers ignited on contact; acid like burns exploding at the touch.

"Alec—"

"It might speed up the healing." Alec set his jaw. He kept himself still as Logan felt around the edges of damaged skin. "Besides, it doesn't hurt anymore."

"Liar," Logan murmured but thankfully, he stopped offering.

The smell of bread and toasting cheese escaped the oven next to him. Alec let it distract him from what Logan was doing. He tamped down the flinch when Logan dabbed a cotton ball soaked in rubbing alcohol. He told himself the burning on his skin was a good sign.

Alec opened his mouth to fill the terse silence that hung over them like a guillotine, but then the oven dinged. He reached over to shut the oven and crack the oven door open. The acrid smell of rubbing alcohol mixed with the almost nutty aroma of melted cheese. He rocked back between Logan's knees. Logan said nothing; he continued the moment Alec returned to his kneeling position.

There was bruising on Logan's left ankle, peeking out from the gray pants. It started from his shin and disappeared into his blue and white sneakers. The laces were on too tight; Alec could see the reddened indent of the shoe around the ankle.

Alec reached over and brushed a hand over the purple blemish and the spidery red lines of burst capillaries.

"Worked out pretty early this morning?" Alec murmured. He wrote the chemical breakdown of isopropyl alcohol around the ankle.

"Couldn't sleep," Logan muttered, distracted. The cotton ball dabbed across a particular deep spot. The sting shot down to Alec's tailbone; he hissed.

"Sorry." Logan curled a steadying hand over Alec's shoulder. "Almost done. You're right, it's stopped bleeding."

Alec twitched. Logan's hand squeezed.

"I wish you stop feeling like you need to hurt yourself." Medical tape zipped quietly across the soft gauze patch.

"Funny, I was gonna say the same thing," Alec muttered before he could stop himself. 

The tape behind Alec silenced.

"Oh." The zipping continued as Logan pulled out a new strip of tape. "Is the bruising bad?"

Alec almost turned around at the disinterested tone. Instead, he slipped two fingers up Logan's wash worn pants. He caressed the blemished territory, sight unseen, steered by the weak warmth he could feel with his fingertips. 

Logan never reacted to Alec's touch. Alec withdrew his fingers quickly.

"Nothing feels broken," Alec reported. "You might want to lay off on the leg extensions for today though."

"I have errands later." Logan's shrug was audible.

Alec's jaw flexed. "Planning any hacks for today?" he asked casually. He reached out to open the oven door wider. The baking sheet scalded his fingers when he pulled it out far enough so he could grab a piece of tuna and cheese topped baguette.

"Depends on my errands," Logan said evenly. He pulled his hand away from the bandage. He left the other hand on Alec's shoulder. It was a light touch, yet somehow kept Alec where he was.

"Errands, huh?" Alec bit down hard on the toasted slice. 

The baguette crunched loudly. The tuna was moist, the cheese salty with a hint of something grassy yet sweet; the combination was surprisingly good. Logan had also smeared the bread with some sort of mustard that flared briefly in Alec's mouth.

"Think you'll make it back before curfew?" Alec shoved the rest of the piece in his mouth before he could ask anything else. It burned his tongue yet ran cold when it settled in his gut.

"Possibly." Logan's voice thinned. "Alec..."

Alec grabbed another piece off the baking sheet. Still knelt by the oven, he kept his eyes on the food.

"Want to know if you were up for that pizza tonight," Alec said, his mouth full. He chewed loudly. 

"Pizza?" Logan sounded like he wasn't sure if he had heard correctly.

"The place I was telling you about?" 

"Oh. Right." Logan's hand slipped off Alec's shoulder. Despite the black windbreaker, Alec felt chilled all of the sudden.

Alec experimentally shrugged his shoulders. All he felt was the pull of the medical tape.

"Yeah. They don't deliver though."

Logan sat behind him frozen, stock still. Alec poked at a third piece on the baking sheet. He rolled back his shoulders.

"I figured I would go pick up a pie and swing by here." Alec hastily popped a new piece in his mouth. "Hey, these do not suck."

The way Logan relaxed behind him, like Alec just did him some huge favor made Alec's chest clench. He ground his teeth together, mashing bread, fish and cheese into paste in his mouth.

"Sounds good," Logan managed after some hesitation. Alec could feel Logan's hand stretching, reaching, but retreated. It left behind only a hint of heat on his exposed neck; a ghost of what could have been.

Alec curled his hand around Logan's ankle; the discolored one that felt only vaguely warm. He could feel tiny trembling; weak muscles unable to cope with even the slightest activity. They punished Logan by bruising, swelling, hurting, seizing.

The Achilles tendon was a line of tension that contorted Logan's adjacent calf muscles. They hardened with a growing yet unfelt knot. Alec soothed the ankle with a firm stroke down the length of the Achilles. Logan's foot spasm; his sneaker twitched in place.

"Don't forget to hydrate," Alec murmured. He kept pressing down the line of Logan's ankle with his thumb. He coaxed trembling ligaments to relax. "Maybe have some protein before you go?"

Logan's knees bracketed Alec, pressing lightly into his shoulders. Alec wondered absently if this is what it would have felt like with Logan curled over and around Alec like he would be missed.

Behind Alec, Logan fidgeted. Or at least, the upper half of him did, shifting as if retreating. Alec cupped his ankle, halting the minute movement he could feel against his back. 

"Also, I want anchovies," Alec announced. He smoothed his thumb over the knobby part of Logan's ankle. He wanted to turn around. Yet, he didn't want to either; he didn't want to see what settled on Logan's face.

The silence stretched between them. Alec's throat locked around the words he was about to say. The problem was: he wasn't sure _what_ he wanted to say. 

Wordlessly, Alec passed over his shoulder a round of bread. Just as silent, Logan accepted it. A beat later, there were the quiet sounds of crunching.

"I'll meet up with you here, all right?" Alec finally said after he handed over a second piece. He stared at the remaining pieces on the sheet, cheese cooling to a congealing layer. They looked fake now, like those plastic display pieces some of the fancier restaurants have in their windows. They were supposed to advertise their delicious menu. Alec always thought they looked too fake, too neatly arranged; test tube food for the post Pulse populace. 

Logan didn't reply. His wheelchair felt more like a cage now against Alec. Alec wanted to turn around and rip the bars apart. But turning around would make the decision final; whatever that decision may be.

"You better not stand me up," Alec joked weakly. He grabbed a piece of fake looking tuna melt but didn't eat it. He idly picked at the cheese topping before taking a bite. "Or I'm eating my anchovy pizza without you."

Logan cleared his throat. Alec stiffened.

"As long as you keep the anchovies on your half of the pizza," Logan rasped in false lightness.

Alec slowly turned on his knees. He gazed up at Logan. Logan looked like he was bracing for a blow.

"Deal." Alec popped the rest of the tuna melt in his mouth. "No accounting for taste, but you got yourself a deal." He wished Logan didn't look so relieved. 

"I heard the mushroom one is good." Alec found he didn't have a problem crouched between Logan's knees. He thought he could stay here; the weight of Logan pressed around him like a gauze sheltering his damn bar code from prying eyes. 

"I could get that on your half," Alec offered. He stretched his mouth to a smirk. "I solemnly swear none of my nasty anchovies will violate your side of the pizza."

Logan chuckled. The tension around his eyes and mouth eased. They didn't go away completely, but they never did. 

"Mushroom sounds good." 

Alec's grin sat better on his face now. He rose to his feet. He watched Logan gingerly pick another baguette round and took a bite. He wondered if he could get away with kissing Logan again. To see how the tuna melt taste in Logan's mouth, that's all. But Alec restrained himself from straddling Logan's lap; he shrugged his jacket higher on his shoulders as he rearranged the collar.

"See you at eight?" Alec gingerly checked the bandage on his neck. It felt like it was staying put.

"Better make it nine."

Alec bit his tongue from demanding why. Instead, he shrugged.

"Just don't get distracted with your crime-fighting and forget all about me."

"Forgetting you? I don't think that's possible," Logan said dryly.

Alec flashed him a toothy grin. He stepped back before he indulged in the urge of climbing into Logan's chair and—

"You sure you don't want at least one little fishy on your pizza?"

"No."

 

The pizza was getting cold.

Alec slid the pizza, box and all, into the oven. He left it on low and hoped the damn thing didn't burst into flames before Logan returns.

Inside the fridge, Alec discovered a covered platter of sliced tomatoes, mozzarella and some kind of leafy herb. He didn't touch it, just in case Logan needed to do something fancy to it. He grabbed what looked like crackers with green flecks in them and the last can of tuna.

The crackers were salty, the tuna moist and with a hint of fruity olive oil—

It was seventeen minutes past 2100 hours. 

Alec checked his watch. He tapped it, listened to its gears pressed to his ears. He compared the time with the clock in Logan's bedroom. Logan's clock was off by a minute and three seconds. Alec fixed it; he compared them both again. 

It was now twenty one minutes past.

"Damn it." Alec glared at his stupid watch. He prowled the living room. He stalked into the dining area. And just to be an asshole, Alec started reorganizing the folders of Mount Cale by date, sorted out into five pillars with the middle stack tall and straight in the universal sign people before and after the Pulse would recognize.

Immediately after, with a pang in his chest, Alec sorted back the way the folders were. Let's hear it for bioengineered eidetic memory. 

It was 2200 hours now.

Alec finished off the crackers and tuna by the counter. He ate every piece staring at the office area. Specifically, the gun drawer.

The drawer was shut. 

Alec absently stuck the tip of his thumb in his mouth, sucking off the salty taste of the crackers. He edged closer to the space framed with the frosted glass partitions. The computer on the workstation seemed to beckon. The hardwood underneath his boots didn't creak to chide him. 

Down the hall, beyond the foyer, the front door opened.

Alec didn't back away. He leaned against the reddish wood that framed the glass partitions. He folded his arms and glared at Logan, who appeared to be in one piece.

"Seriously?" Alec complained the moment he spotted Logan. He ignored the wave of muscle loosening relief that rippled down to his toes.

"I thought _I_ was late." Alec rolled his wrist to flash Logan his watch. "But you're seventy nine minutes late. Heather, you went past fashionably late seventy minutes ago."

Logan squinted myopically at Alec. It was then Alec realized he had never turned the lights on the entire time he was here. 

Sheepishly, Alec turned on a lamp in the living room.

After a few blinks adjusting to the light, Logan focused on Alec's scowl. "Hey."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Hey yourself. So this whole time, I was lurking here in the dark. Surprised you didn't try to shoot me again when I first spoke up."

Logan shrugged off the olive green barn jacket. Alec took a second to admire how the dove gray henley skimmed down Logan's trim torso. His fun moment faded when his eyes drifted to the shoulder holster. Logan never pulled the gun out.

"Who else would break in here, burning pizza in my oven?" Logan remarked as he slipped the Glock out of his holster.

"Whoops." Alec darted back to the kitchen and rescued the pizza. He lifted the soggy box lid off and inspected the food.

"Looks okay," Alec reported. "Crust may be a little burnt if that's your thing."

"There's extra pesto for the caprese salad. You could dip the crusts in that. Should soften them up," Logan called out over his shoulder. So Logan's breathing seemed normal.

Alec tracked Logan as he rolled into the office area. The wheelchair's movements were smooth.

"That's the tomato and cheese thing in the fridge?" Alec zoomed in on Logan's hands. The knuckles were intact. He watched Logan pull out the clip and tuck the gun in the drawer. Wrist movements looked normal. He relaxed when he caught sight of the still full clip.

"I thought since we're having pizza..." Logan trailed off when he turned around and caught Alec staring. His mouth crooked.

Alec's eyes slid away.

"Sorry I'm late," Logan said sincerely.

"Fifteen more minutes and drowning the pizza in that pesto stuff wouldn't save it." Alec shook the box towards Logan. "This almost became charcoal. Even _I_ wouldn't eat it."

"You shouldn't have stuck it in the oven with the box." 

"Hey! Cold pizza sucks!"

Logan smiled wearily. His shoulders relaxed as he wheeled into the kitchen. Alec flipped the lid up and tilted the box towards Logan. He peered into the box. He nodded. 

"Should be fine. I..." 

Looking up, Logan trailed off. 

Alec realized he'd been staring again, eyes scanning Logan's face for cuts and bruises. Caught, he dropped the box lid with a snap. 

"Are we eating or what?" Alec grumbled.

A weary smile flickered.

"I'll get the salad."

 

Alec spoke up after three slices.

"So..." Alec stretched out the word. He leaned into the couch as he tossed torn chunks of pizza crust into his mouth. "Porn, huh, Heather?"

Logan lifted his shoulders briefly. He took his time turning his second slice around for the best course of attack.

"I was meeting an informant," Logan mumbled. He tested the slice with a nimble, on the slice's apex, pink tongue flashing as it darted out to swipe across his lower lip. 

Alec dragged his stare away. He gazed at the buildings across the window. 

"Worked out okay?" Alec asked. 

Logan looked away to the windows as well, but he didn't appear to relax. If anything, the guy looked ready to throw himself back into his chair.

"Asked for more money." Logan gave up on his slice. He tore the thick crust off, left the rest in the box and dipped the brown mottled piece into a shallow dish of green speckled sauce.

"Economics. Post Pulse wallets make everyone hungry," Alec grunted. He swiped the abandoned slice and topped it with one of the mozzarella slices. He folded it in half, smushed the tip of it into the pesto and chomped off the sloppy part. He chewed, his eyes closing as he savored. 

"Speaking of hungry..." Logan sounded amused. "Maybe you should have gotten _two_ pies."

"You left me starving for over an hour," Alec griped around a new bite. "And I hadn't had anything since your weird fish and cheese."

"Tuna melt."

"Whatever." Alec belched. He plucked a new slice out of the box when Logan offered. He assembled it the same way, adding a thick slice of tomato to it. 

"I liked that caprese salad, but this?" Alec's mouth gaped wide to show Logan. He snickered at Logan's face before swallowing.

"This is awesome. Anchovies with the cheese and tomato with the pesto? Look at me. I invented something new." Daddy Lydecker would be so proud. Not.

"Somehow, I don't think it'll catch on," Logan commented. He leaned forward for the last layer of tomato and mozzarella. He grimaced.

Alec stopped chewing. "You okay?"

Logan gave an aborted nod. He carefully leaned back into the couch.

The sweet tang of tomato soured in Alec's mouth. He scrutinized Logan, how he sat a little too straight despite the thick cushion, how he fidgeted in his seat.

Mouth clamped shut, Alec nudged the salad platter closer to Logan's end of the couch. He ignored the look Logan shot his direction. 

"You know," Alec drawled as he grabbed one more slice to build his awesome creation, "I was that close to checking your computer if you hadn't shown." He shrugged. "Would have brought the pizza to you. You would have to tip me though."

"I password protect my computer," Logan muttered as he neatly rearranged the mozzarella on the tomato before bringing it closer to his mouth."

"H. Three. Eight. T. H. Three. R, right?"

The food froze in mid-air.

Alec's grin widened when Logan's ears pinked.

"How the hell did you think I was able to clone your hack last time with Bronck?" Alec smirked at the chagrin flushing those scruffy cheeks. "I'm not _that_ good with computers. There are limits to my awesomeness."

"I forgot," Logan muttered. He hastily ate his layer of tomato and cheese with a slight cough. 

"I liked the password," Alec said, singsong.

"I'm changing it tomorrow." Logan gave Alec a sideways look. "Actually, tonight."

"Really, I'm honored. Touched that the great and powerful _Eyes Only_ would granted little old me the privilege to fill your password bo—"

"Anyway, why haven't you had anything since this morning?" Logan cut in hurriedly.

Alec pouted at the interruption. He gestured lazily towards his neck.

Logan frowned. "Already? But the scab—"

"Was healed by the time I got back to _Jam Pony_ ," Alec finished. His throat worked.

"Guess it wasn't six weeks after all."

Logan narrowed his eyes. "You can't be considering going back to Lee?"

"Considering? No. I already told him I'll see him next week."

"Alec. The last time you went to him—"

"I puked, I bled, yeah, it sucked balls and apparently, I didn't get my money's worth because it's only been five weeks."

"Didn't get your money's work? Alec, I found you drooling and convulsing on the rooftop."

"...not one of best moments."

"Alec."

"It won't be as bad as the first time." Alec drew the pizza box on his lap. He studied the last four pieces. There was still one slice with anchovies left. Logan had refused to touch them.

"You don't know that." Logan grimaced. "I don't think it'll get any better than the last time."

"It will. I adapt." Alec's voice sounded hoarse to his ears. "It's what X-5s do best."

Logan stared at Alec, pale, mouth opened to protest again, but good would it do? He tore his eyes away, throat working.

"Maybe for X-5s," Logan rasped. "But what about _Alec_?"

Now it was Alec's turn to look away. "I'll adapt."

"To borrow your favorite words: 'that sucks', Alec."

"I'm not disagreeing with you." Alec scratched a dried oregano flake stuck on the lid. 

Logan exhaled. "Next week?"

The taste of pesto sharpened in Alec's throat. He swallowed convulsively. "Yup."

"Do...do you have enough?" 

Alec lifted a shoulder. "Enough to go twice."

"That's...that's good."

Logan didn't sound like it was. Alec's head drooped.

"It's awesome," Alec mumbled.

"Are you sure you can't wait another week?" Logan sounded pleading, as if he was the one getting swabbed with acid.

Alec shook his heavy head. "Unless you can bone up to all of Manticore genetics in the next few days and decipher this freak show in me. No, it can't wait. Otherwise, if it heals completely, it's that much harder next time."

"Alec..." Logan shifted until he was closer. He dropped a hand on Alec's knee.

Alec blinked. 

"Hey, I've done this over twenty six months now. Nothing new. And it means a few weeks of not looking over my neck. My neck. Get it?"

"Alec," Logan murmured. His hand pressed down on Alec's knee, halting the babble. "What...is there anything I can I do?"

 _No_ , Alec should say. _Yes_ , his insides screamed. He studied the ups and downs of Logan's knuckles over his knee.

Alec wished there was something Logan could do. He wished saying yes would be a quick finger snap and boom, no more runaway lab rat. He'll finally be a real boy.

But Alec should say _no_ , because no was realistic. Dreamers belonged in Logan's world, sipping martinis, sucking on olives while they tut tut a screwed up world that thought it was a great idea to spend a fuck ton of money to shake and bake a few X-5s.

No. There wasn't anything Logan could do. 

Then again, Logan found a way to still get around and try to change the world. Wheelchair be damn. 

"Well..." Alec took a deep breath. 

"What?"

"You could let me have the last slice," Alec said instead. It still felt like it was better than _No_.

 

"What do you mean _No_?"

Alec scolded. Lee stood behind the upright stretcher, using it as a shield. Brown eyes peered through greasy white locks.

"Too soon," Lee insisted. He curled hands on the headrest. Yellow tinged fingernails from too much iodine dug into the stretcher and bleached. They now looked normal, pink and healthy.

"I said six weeks. The scab is still there."

"It's been five weeks," Alec argued as he shouldered off the button down shirt. Last thing he needed was vomit on it. This was his favorite—well, _only_ red and black plaid shirt. "Close enough."

"But—"

A row of fifties landed on the stretcher. Lee stared.

"There's an extra five big ones in there," Alec added casually. He smiled bitterly. Lee watched the money roll sway left and right. Alec folded his button up into a tight bundle and set it aside on top of his boots on the lopsided metal stool by the stretcher. 

The shop was in the basement of one of the numerous condemned buildings in Chinatown. The neon sign Lee hung on the ceiling to double as extra light read 'Respect' with the R, E and T burnt out. The light flickered 'Spec' intermittently sickly orange. 

Alec could feel Lee tracking his hand as he plucked the roll off the stretcher and tossed it over.

Lee fumbled a few times before he caught it. He smoothed out two weeks worth of breaking and entering in his trembling hands. He quickly counted the bills, his thin lips moving as he calculated.

"Close enough?" Alec asked as he hopped up onto the stretcher. 

"I shouldn't," Lee protested weakly. His morals or ethics as a tattoo, skin scrubbing whatever, flailed in. "This will hurt."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Like it was so much fun last time."

"This might leave skin discoloring."

 _It never does_ , Alec thought bleakly as he rolled onto his stomach. He tried to ignore the fact that exposing his back like this already made him want to vomit.

"Infection could set in. Pus..."

 _And here we go with the pus again_. Alec propped himself up on his elbows.

"It's only been five weeks..." Lee's eyes darted from the money clutched in his hand to Alec.

"There's another five in there if you make sure I don't puke this time," Alec told him.

Overblown brown eyes flicked back to the money.

"Close enough?" 

Lee's fingers felt like ants on Alec's skin as they skittered up to peel Logan's bandage off. Alec swallowed.

"Close enough?" Alec croaked again.

The bandage stuck briefly to Alec's clammy skin before coming off completely. Humid, stale air oozed over his skin. Yet he shivered.

"Close enough," Lee agreed shakily. His hand shook when he pressed down on Alec's head, signaling him to lie flat.

"Great," Alec whispered as he sank into the scratchy sheets on the stretcher. He closed his eyes and told himself don't forget to breathe.

 

"That was fun."

Alec shakily offered it in lieu of a farewell. He pressed the promised bonus in Lee's cold hands. Lee was the one who vomited this time. Thank God the guy missed his boots and shirt; otherwise this would have really sucked.

The fire boiling in the back of Alec's neck roared in his ears as well so he missed what Lee babbled about. He staggered up the steps, his numb hands clawing the rail as he ascended. His boots felt weird on his feet; he might have put them on wrong.

Lee's dingy shop was on a street crammed full of restaurants. MSG, lard and salt greeted Alec when he bodily pushed the door open into the street level. He gagged briefly— _don't throw up, dude, not cool, don't do it_ —and bumped into something that nearly pitched him head first into the street.

Hands settled on his hips, steadying him.

"Not open for business," Alec snarled as he knocked the hands away.

"Alec."

Blinking, Alec's eyes tear every time he tried to focus. He grinned sloppily at the wide hazel eyes staring up at him.

"Hey, I would do you for free," Alec blurted out. He fumbled, his hands felt like overcooked spaghetti. "I mean...dude...What the hell?"

"I was in the neighborhood." Logan's hand was hot on Alec's wrist as he grasped it tight to pull it behind and around a handlebar.

"You are such a liar," Alec chirped. Damn, whatever Lee kept giving him so he wouldn't upchuck was hanging around like a used condom. Ew. 

"How many painkillers did Lee give you?" Logan frowned. It was such a cute frown. It made Logan's face all frowny.

"No, that's not cute at all." Alec swayed. He accidentally leaned too much weight on the handlebar. Logan's chair shimmied when Logan tried to compensate.

"Oops." Alec pulled his hands away. 

Logan grabbed Alec's hand and clamped it back on a handlebar.

"It's fine." Logan sighed. "There's no way I can carry you this time—"

"Aw."

" _But_ my car is down the block. Hold on to me—to my _wheelchair_ , Alec—and we'll take it slow, all right?"

"Can I drive?"

"No."

 

"I could kiss you."

Alec cracked an eye open to look at Logan sitting next to him on the bed. The new towel on Alec's neck was frozen, kept cold in the insulated cooler Logan got out of the fridge. 

Logan serenely turned the page on his book, but his eyes briefly met Alec's.

"Haven't you done enough of that last time?" Logan murmured. The glare from the lamp glinted off his wire spectacles, concealing his eyes.

"Last time was for the first time. This time is for..." Alec exhaled. He turned his cheek carefully on the pillow. 

"Forget it, I'm too tired."

"Small favors," Logan said lightly. He turned another page. He read with intense concentration.

Alec watched Logan. The painkillers finally fled his system, but they left him boneless and lethargic. He remembered crawling into Logan's bed, moving enough at Logan's coaxing to tuck a pillow under his face and toe his boots off.

The bedroom smelled faintly like medicine, sharp and metallic. The thermostat must have been lowered because Logan had tucked his blue fleece snugly around his legs and wore thick socks. Alec could hear the air in the vent louder above them. His skin felt tight around him, like before, thrumming at every movement he or Logan made. He felt cold. Yet he also felt hot. Lying there on his stomach placed pressure on the churning, twisting in it. But it also felt like the marrow in his bones vibrated with equal intensity.

Alec turned to press his mouth into the pillow.

A hand cupped the back of Alec's head. "You should stay still."

"I know!" The pillow didn't completely muffle the bite.

Logan's hand curled; tiny scratches lightly skimmed the back of Alec's head.

Alec blinked hot eyes into the pillow. The cotton pillowcase felt cool on his fevered cheek.

"Sorry," Alec muttered into the fabric.

Fingers continued their slow, almost melodic pace up and down Alec's skull.

Alec's vision blurred, not that he could see much beyond the eggshell colored fabric. His chin dug deeper into the soft pillow. 

"Thought you were going to try next week." Logan's fingers faltered. They started up again immediately after. "That's what you said two days ago."

Two days. Next week. It didn't matter. Alec felt the tips of his lashes scraping the pillowcase as he blinked.

"How did you know I was there?"

"Lee called _Eyes Only_."

Alec grunted. "No wonder he first said no."

The fingers in Alec's scalp twitched. 

"He should have insisted."

"I insisted harder with a grand." Alec exhaled. Logan's careful scalp massage sent ripples down his neck and back. They canceled out the bone deep pinpricks trying to claw through his skin.

"There's got to be a bet—"

"You keep saying that like it'll come true sooner or later," Alec ground out. "Newsflash, Heather. It won't. I tried everything to dig those lines out but they kept coming back. I tried covering it up. I tried make up, but collars and necklines don't stay put. I tried growing my hair out, but that attracted more attention than it should because mullet heads? Yeah, not for me."

"You ever considered not covering it at all?" Logan fidgeted, the pillow tucked behind his lower back slipped. He readjusted it with a grimace.

Alec snorted. It sent shockwaves down his back. 

"It's worth considering," Logan said quietly.

"Sure," Alec muttered, "it's just a tattoo, folks. Move along. Move along. Nothing to see here."

"That's an idea."

The fingers raked lightly over Alec's hair when he turned to glare at Logan out of the corner of his eye. "I wasn't being serious."

"I was." Logan pulled his hand away. The weight gone, Alec thought the room chilled considerably. 

"Hiding in plain sight," Logan added. He tentatively peeled a corner of the towel off Alec's neck. 

Alec made a face, but didn't comment. 

"You should get some rest." Logan sat back with his book. He pushed up his spectacles higher on his nose. 

"You're pissed," Alec noted.

"No." The page crinkled loudly when Logan turned it. "It's what you need to do. You've said it many times." Another page crackled. 

Logan's mouth looked deceptively relaxed. His jaw was still, too still, like he was straining to not pull into a frown.

Alec watched Logan turn the next page. "Good book?"

"It's okay." Logan stared hard at the book.

"You're reading it upside down."

The book snapped shut. Logan glared at him.

"See?" Alec yawned. "Pissed."

Logan breathed sharply. "You said next week."

"So? I went a few days early? Guy didn't even give me a discount for it."

The book tumbled over Logan's legs and to the floor. Logan barely gave it a glance.

"If Lee hadn't called me—"

Alec's brow knitted. Crap, even _that_ pulled his face, which pulled the back of his neck, which— _Ow_.

"Why did Lee squeal on me?" Alec narrowed his eyes. 

"You placed the fear of _Eyes Only_ on him, didn't you?"

"More like the fear of Matt Sung," Logan muttered. "Lee didn't have a television and an antenna for me to hack into it."

Alec carefully scoffed to avoid jarring his neck. "You shouldn't have bothered. For the right number, Lee would do it."

Logan pulled off his glasses. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Look, this happens, okay? Every few weeks, I get this off me and I get to relax."

Logan scoffed.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Logan shook his head.

Alec inhaled. He smelled coffee, paper and the coppery tang of antiseptic in the room. He smelled the lingering odor of cooking oil and salt from Lee's street. The bed smelled like soap.

The bed however, felt big. Logan's covered legs were against Alec's shoulder; they were shoulder to hip to each other. But Logan felt like he was in the other room, typing away in that lousy laptop, the keys clattering loud enough to drown everything out.

"Stop being pissed off," Alec mumbled into the pillow. He gulped but the lump in his throat wouldn't go away. His neck ached when he tried again.

"Just..." Alec studied the shape of Logan's hip under the blanket. "Look. I'm sorry. Whatever it is, all right?"

After a beat, Logan exhaled long and low. He looked over at Alec, his mouth twisted. He shook his head again, but dropped a hand back over Alec's head.

A knot between Alec's shoulders unraveled. He blinked into the smooth cotton.

"Man," Alec grumbled. "You're so high maintenance."

Logan choked out a laugh. To Alec' disappointment, he pulled his hand away.

"What the hell?" Alec glared drowsily at Logan. "I'm not going to jump you. I'm too tired to even jerk off."

Logan rolled his eyes.

"Go to sleep, Alec."

Alec's eyelids couldn't stay open. He blinked up at Logan.

"Stay?" Alec slurred.

Logan patted Alec on the shoulder. "So long you stay on your side of the bed, feel free. You shouldn't move anyway."

Geez, Heather could be such an idiot at times. 

Alec huffed; his exasperation was lost in the pillow. He flapped a hand towards Logan, who captured the hand.

"You need to stay still," Logan warned. He started to set Alec's hand down. 

Alec grumbled. He curled his hand around Logan's and yanked it down. Logan yelped.

" _Stay_ ," Alec repeated. He pulled the hand under his chin so the idiot wouldn't take it back. 

Logan stilled.

"'eriously," Alec mumbled. "'o stu'id."

Logan's caught hand turned. He cupped Alec's chin. Alec snorted and felt Logan's fingers twitch. 

Alec rocked his head to the side and considered Logan.

"Okay," Logan murmured. He smiled faintly. He rested his head back and closed his eyes. "But I'll need my hand back later...for porn."

Alec tiredly leered. He knew Logan felt it in his trapped hand. Alec got a slightly wider smile in return.

Logan's hand curled carefully under Alec. It was warm, solid, familiar. Logan's hand hummed against him somehow. 

Alec soaked the heat, listened to Logan breathe before drifting away to join him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! I posted on time. Sort of. LOL.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions spoilers from "Female Trouble" and the first story [Book 1: Awakening](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1093344)
> 
> Warning: this chapter contains strong language and mentions prostitution and suicidal thoughts. 
> 
> Double chapter today because sadly, your writer of this too long tale was a poopy head nitwit last week....

"What's the deal with the owls?"

Alec bit back a smirk when Matt Sung spun around, the tails of his coat flapping wildly behind him. 

Astride in his bike, Alec wiggled his fingers howdy at the detective from his hiding place: a narrow gap between a condemned tenement building and the restaurant Sung ate on Wednesdays. The family run Greek eatery always offered two gyros for the price of one on that day. Sung liked the mixed meats one; he always got the chicken one to bring home to his wife.

"What owls?" Sung still smelled like the gyro he had for lunch. He went heavy on the tzatziki sauce today.

Alec grinned, unrepentant. He tossed over the tiny gray ceramic owl. Sung caught it with both hands.

"You got like seven of these in your desk." Alec pried his eyes wider with his fingers and blinked at him. "They're all staring at you and stuff. Is that how you get the bad guys to confess: by freaking them out with these?"

"My daughter made these for me," Sung muttered as he cradled the little guy. "She likes owls."

Oops.

"My favorite was the purple one," Alec offered. He shrugged at Sung's glower.

"Breaking into a police officer's desk is a misdemeanor, at least," Sung pointed out.

Alec shrugged. "I was your friendly neighborhood _Jam Pony_ messenger dropping off a package for you. Your desk was open." 

The detective arched an eyebrow.

"All right, _maybe_ it was open when a letter opener fell in-between the crack."

Sung grunted. He gave Alec a look up and down. Alec tensed, his smirk glued to his face. He waited for Sung to make an offer.

The detective, after a quick scan, looked away. 

"Logan?"

Suppressing his surprise, Alec shrugged.

"Wanted to give a heads up that there may or may not be a guy in body armor trussed up on the roof of 247 Lexington Place."

Alec watched Sung's brows knit together as he tried to place the address. He doubted the detective has the ability to mentally pull up maps. The memory stuff was a Manticore thing.

"It has a nice view of Crest square?" Alec supplied. 

Sung's eyes widened. He swore under his breath almost immediately after.

Alec grimaced. "You guys need to consider meeting underground or something."

"No ramps," Sung said, curtly.

Alec's eyes slid away. He cleared his throat.

"So, yeah. The guy's hanging around. You might want to pick him up." 

Sung wrote the address in a little battered black notebook he carried. He paused. 

"I thought the building across from us was half torn down. Not even squatters would go near it." Sung pursed his lips. "I wasn't aware the floors were intact."

Alec smiled brightly. "They're not. Jumaring up there was a _bitch_. Had to tie the guy to the stand pipe on the roof. You may want to get him before it rusts off the wall or gives him tetanus. Or before the guy throws up. From the way the guy was yelling, I think he's afraid of heights."

Sung's mouth twisted as he considered Alec.

"So when you said he was hanging around..."

Alec waggled his eyebrows up and down. "I'm a literal sort of guy."

Sung huffed, but he didn't seem surprised. He smirked to himself as he closed his notebook. "Do you have a name?"

"Nope. Sorry. The guy wasn't carrying any ID."

Sung shot him a look that made Alec wonder if the detective had learned it from Logan. He sighed.

" _Fine_. Here."

Sung caught the wallet tossed over. He nodded to himself as he poked through the business cards and photo ids. _Various_ photo ids, but that's what Detective Sung was for. 

Alec shrugged when Sung pulled wider the empty billfold. He tilted it towards Alec, a dark eyebrow arched high. 

"These are hard times." Alec straddled his bike. Normal was probably bellowing for him by now.

"For him, even harder," Sung said dryly. He didn't comment further as he tucked the wallet into his breast pocket. "Thanks. I'll see what I can find out."

"Find a less open meet place." Alec squeezed the handlebars. "I promised Logan I wouldn't get involved." At Sung's look, Alec added, "This isn't getting involved. This is thanks for my ride and the permits. I like clearing my debts."

"And you happen to come across us in Crest Square?"

Damn, Sung did earn those detective stripes or stars or whatever.

Alec offered a bored shrug. 

"Find a less open space," Alec repeated. He turned his bike towards road, _Jam Pony_ , and Normal. Yay.

"Hey."

Alec glanced over his shoulder.

Sung carefully tipped the owl into his pocket. "We're meeting in Foley's park at eight tomorrow night."

Alec grunted. "Not the best place, but gives you decent coverage from the North. Watch out due southwest, there's a blindspot."

Sung nodded. "Thanks." He paused. "See you there tomorrow?"

Now Alec's eyebrow rose.

Sung smiled beatifically. 

"It's a very nice motorcycle. A very _expensive_ motorcycle."

"Fine. Whatever," Alec grumbled. "But I'm not getting involved."

"Of course."

"Like if Logan finds out, he'll frown at me."

"Oh no."

"That ruins the week, you know? His Holiness can make you feel guilty about _blinking_." 

Sung smirked. "So I'll see you there?"

"As if!" Alec yelped, mock outraged. "Do you think you're dealing with an amateur?" He huffed. He swiveled his bike sharply, popped a wheelie, his rear wheel squealing as he rode away.

Behind Alec, the faint strains of Sung's chuckles wiped the scowl off Alec's face. He grinned to himself as he sped back to work.

 

Six days of playing hide-and-go-peek with Sung and Logan, Alec decided to reward himself with a raid of Logan's fridge.

Alec found something better.

Soft grunts filled the room. Occasionally, there was a muffled gasp. Sometimes a moan. No, wait; that was Alec trying to muffle himself behind his arm.

Unaware of his audience, Logan continued with his set of adaptive sit ups.

Crouched behind the center island, Alec's fingers itched towards his crotch. He watched Logan do the second set. His mouth was dry. Any minute, he was going to groan because, seriously? He wasn't sure whether he was being punished or rewarded.

Ankles strapped to one side of the narrow exercise table, the upper half of Logan's body hung over the opposite edge. Logan crunched up, sitting up on the platform before smoothly leaning back down, never arching his back, never going too fast or too slow. His ass clenched minutely as glutes struggled to suspend the trim body to a straight arrow that flowed down to the soft swell behind clingy worn sweat pants.

It was perfect form, almost militaristic in its consistency and determined clip. Logan's eyes were closed as he concentrated. His mouth was set as he pulled himself up. The edge of his gray sweatshirt rucked up, damp with sweat. It clung almost jealously on the ridges of Logan's flat stomach. The worn material stayed on the torso, leaving a stripe of skin exposed. 

The loose waistline rode down, lower, lower, revealing that dark trail every time Logan stretched out. Logan grunted as he pulled himself up, muscles quivering to engage, the clothing too worn and thin to keep up. They kept getting twisted around, riding up to the point all they did was plaster around the body. They clung like a second skin, sliding and twisting as his muscles flexed. The waistline kept sagging, gapping to slyly reveal the snap tight band of his boxer briefs; its soft cotton taut over his lax cock.

Alec _loved_ those sweats.

Between his legs, Alec could feel heat pooling in his groin, swelling and hardening like a knot. His dick strained against his jeans. For once, not wearing underwear had their advantages; the zipper against his throbbing dick was a relief.

Logan grunted once. Alec swallowed. 

Logan leaned back, folded his arms behind his head. He twisted to his left by the waist. He expertly twisted to the right then left again. 

Alec pressed the heel of his hand between his legs. He bit his lower lip and tried not to rock into his hand cupped between his legs.

Halfway through a rep, Logan paused.

Alec winced. He didn't step away from his vantage point by the kitchen island though. Instead, he whined.

"Why did you stop? You were getting to the good part." 

Logan exhaled. Oh, hell, it did very interesting things to his abdomen muscles when he was stretched out like that. He twisted to the right to finish his set. The muscles along his obliques rippled and hugged Logan's side like his sweats previously did.

"It's hard to focus when you can hear someone breathing in the other room." Logan sat up. Apparently, PT was over. Boo.

"I can always breathe in your ear instead," Alec offered as he ventured closer. His dick twitched as he watched Logan tug down his sweatshirt, his chest expanding as he breathed hard. Damn it, Alec didn't need a visual reference to what Logan looked like hot and sweaty. Because there was so many other things Alec wanted to do to get Logan to look like this so Alec could slide the flat of his tongue down the line of sweat trickling down Logan's lower back, into his waistband and most likely pooling in-between his—

"Or I can get you a bottle of water," Alec said quickly, because pals offer water, right? Pals don't offer up-close and personal...whatever.

Logan gave him a weird look. "Thanks." He unfastened his ankle bindings and shuffled across the exercise ledge to his wheelchair. 

Alec escaped to the kitchen before he does something very un-pal-like. 

"Early shift?" Logan asked when he situated himself into the wheelchair. 

"Nah. Late shift but thought I would raid your—whoa!"

"What?"

"You got food in here. Actual food, not artifacts from the pre-Pulse age!" Alec grabbed a stalk of celery because he hasn't seen celery this green and able to stand upright on its own. "Unless you started growing your own stuff in there."

"Very funny." Logan rolled up behind Alec. He pulled out a jar of peanut butter and set it on the counter.

"You finally have a rainbow of food in here and you offer me _peanut butter_?"

"Try it with the celery." Logan sat back into his chair, waiting.

"Okay?" Alec smeared a glob of thick peanut butter over the pale green stalk, filling its curved rib with the nutty paste. He gave Logan a puzzled look, shrugged and took a bite. After a swallow, he pulled the celery back to stare at it in amazement.

"Good?"

Mute, Alec nodded. He put peanut butter on the other end and passed it to Logan. Something warm and indefinable bloomed in his chest when Logan didn't blink and took the offered treat.

The celery crunched sharp and loud in the kitchen when Logan took a bite. He licked the peanut butter at the chewed end. Alec wanted to vault over the island between them and lick peanut butter off Logan's collar bone.

"My mom used to make me 'Ants in a log'." 

Alec's musing _popped_. He blinked at Logan.

"Huh?"

Logan gestured to a new piece of celery. "You put raisins on top of the peanut butter. Like ants." He made a face. "I wasn't a fan of raisins though."

Alec accepted a new celery stalk and spread nutty goodness on it.

"Cute," Alec commented. He wasn't sure how to respond otherwise: it was the first time Logan offered anything of a personal nature without Alec wheedling it out of him.

"Kids were pickier eaters before the Pulse," Logan explained. He cracked open a water bottle. He tipped his head back and drank.

Alec stared, transfixed at the line of throat, pink lips pursed around the opening, cheeks hollowed out as Logan drank. A trickle of water escaped the corner of Logan's mouth and skimmed down his jaw, disappearing into the neckline. Alec averted his eyes, his own throat working. 

"Bet they're not that picky anymore," Alec managed. He nodded towards the fridge.

"You, on the other hand..."

Logan grimaced. He tossed the bottle and reached for the celery stalk Alec doctored up.

"Not picky, more like—"

"Not in the mood, yeah." Alec rolled his eyes. "Whatever. More food for me." He grabbed the rest of the celery and peanut butter and bounded for the living room. 

"I used to hate raspberries," Logan commented as he followed. At Alec's look, he added, "Seeds."

"Used to?" Alec plopped himself down on the couch next to Logan once he transferred into the couch.

"Hard to find raspberries anymore." Logan chewed thoughtfully on one end of a stalk. Peanut butter smeared a faint brown smudge across the edge of his lower lip. 

"Bet you miss them now," Alec remarked. He hastily stared at the windows instead. "You appreciate it more once it's gone."

"Yes," Logan murmured. He idly rubbed a palm down his lap. "Funny how it works that way." 

Alec sank deeper into the couch. He crunched his celery stick loudly.

"It's fine, Alec."

Alec grunted. He could see Logan out the corner of his eye, staring out the window at the morning sun. He wondered if Logan noticed the sky was clear for once. He glanced down at the celery in his hand.

"I don't like raw peppers," Alec blurted. He could sense Logan glancing over. He fidgeted.

"I'm not supposed to. We were made to be soldiers, follow orders, yes sir, no sir, hut, hut, hut." Alec split the fibrous stalk down its length. "You're hungry when they tell you; you're not when they say you're not. You eat whatever they gave you; tainted or not."

Alec twirled one half and watched the tiny leaves on its top flail. "But when I got out. Peppers, especially the hot ones..." He shrugged. "The smell of them..."

"Mace. Pepper spray. Tear gas." Logan nodded at Alec's expression. "Hot peppers come close to it." 

Alec made a face. "You got a whiff once?"

Logan grimaced. "I was covering the Stonewell riots, a year after the Pulse, before..." Logan flicked a glance to his legs. "I had the idea to blend in with the protestors."

Ice bled into Alec's joints. "Stonewell?" The celery bent in his hand. 

"Nasty business," Alec heard himself say. "You were there?"

Logan offered him a little shrug. "A few of us figured the police wouldn't try anything if they knew the media was among the protestors." A shadow flickered across his face.

"But there was a gun fired. Some said an officer was shot. Others said it was a protestor. Panic, confusion...People started pushing. I got stampeded on trying to get a little girl off the ground. Broke my foot. Could have been worse." Logan lifted his shoulders again. 

Alec's chest shrank. His air froze at the base of his throat. The celery in his hand shook as it bent into a U.

"I'm not sure if it was pepper spray or tear gas the police fired but I remembered the smell. Couldn't wash it out for days. Smelled like raw pepper, only worse. The fumes..." Logan winced.

The celery snapped in Alec's hand.

"It was a police car."

Startled, Logan glanced over. 

Alec stared at the window sill, at the thin metal frame painted to look like something else. 

"It was a bullet into the windshield," Alec croaked.

Logan's gaze felt heavy on Alec's skin. The weight of it crushed him into the couch as the walls loomed closer.

After a beat, Logan averted his eyes. The room expanded around them.

"Manticore?" Logan asked quietly.

Alec dropped his head back. "It was a test. To see how well we could go undetected despite being out in the open. Not sure how old I was then...the rifle was heavy. I remember that. I'd almost dropped it."

Logan was silent. He gazed out the window, deep in thought.

Just when it was long enough, long enough Alec debated leaving, Logan cleared his throat carefully.

"What were the orders?"

"Distract," Alec parroted the slide projection his platoon watched all day for mission prep. "Conceal. Distract. Evade."

"Did Manticore have a target in mind?"

Alec wondered bleakly why the hell Logan didn't ask if _he_ had a target. But part of him recoiled at the thought of hearing the question. Another part of him screamed he should have kept his mouth shut in the first place.

"They said to pick the most effective one." Manticore didn't care if it stood on two legs, four wheels, whatever. 

"I picked the car." Alec swallowed when another memory wiggled: his team leader had wanted to shoot randomly into the crowd. Random bullets. Random dead. Mission accomplished.

Alec lowered the celery on his lap. Bile burned in the base of his throat.

"Appreciate that," Logan said lightly. Too lightly. 

It was a modified Ranger rifle, highest MOA available at the time, armor piercing. Alec remembered staring into the crowd as their team leader debated the efficacy of shooting one inanimate target versus letting a modified .50 BMG cut through body after body, destroy soft flesh and brittle bone until...

"Alec." Logan dropped a hand on his shoulder.

Dazed, Alec turned his head. His neck felt stiff, immobile.

Logan gazed at Alec with calm gold ringed eyes. 

"You picked the car."

Alec nodded. His eyes slid away.

"I was thinking," Logan murmured when he finally pulled his hand away. "The market downstairs delivered pork chops this morning."

"Beets?" Alec asked distractedly. He rubbed the shoulder Logan's hand left feeling cold.

"You're in luck. Yes." Logan watched Alec as he levered off the couch. "What time does your shift end?"

"Ten." It was weird: Alec wanted, no, needed, to leave, but his limbs were reluctant to move. He slung his messenger bag across his shoulder. "What about your porn?" 

Logan blinked. "Oh."

Alec smirked wanly. "You forgot, didn't you, Heather?" He forced himself to cackle when Logan's ears tipped pink.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow instead?" Logan smiled sheepishly. 

Or tonight. Sung left another set of coordinates scrawled on the back of Original Cindy's _Jam Pony_ order slip yesterday. He signed it off with the ugliest, lopsided doodle of an owl. Geez.

"Sure." Alec paused. He slowly turned and gazed down at Logan.

Logan's brow knitted. "Alec?"

Abruptly, Alec sat down on the couch again. Their hips pressed close together. Logan's chest bumped into Alec's when Alec wrapped arms around Logan's shoulders and jerked him into his personal space.

Logan froze before his arms lost their rigidity. Gingerly, they came up around Alec's shoulders. He didn't wrap them as tight around Alec, but that's okay, Alec was doing that for the both of them.

"You picked the car, Alec," Logan muffled. His chin jabbed Alec on the crook of his shoulder. His nose was squashed awkwardly against the side of Alec's jaw. The scruff on Logan's face felt knife-sharp on Alec's cheek. 

"You picked the car," Logan repeated softly. He felt like angles and sharp edges and elbows.

Logan also felt like he could disappear. At the whim of a killer. By a passing thought. By a random bullet. 

Alec pressed his nose into the side of Logan's head. He breathed deep. He smelled sweat. He smelled peanut butter. He smelled worn cotton.

Logan's hand hesitantly rubbed between Alec's shoulders. It lingered on the small of Alec's back. It felt like a reminder; it felt like benediction at the same time.

Alec pulled away. He avoided Logan's eyes as he readjusted his messenger bag. He shuffled back up on his feet.

"I should...Normal...yeah..."

"I should be done by eleven," Logan said abruptly. "My porn, I mean."

"Okay," Alec said slowly. His mind was numb to respond.

"I mean," Logan fumbled, "After my porn, I might still be up—"

If Alec's snicker was a little shrill, Logan thankfully did not comment on it.

"As I was saying," Logan tried again. He didn't pull off exasperated that well, but points for trying.

"You're welcome to drop by for some peanut butter."

"Yeah, sure. Maybe." Alec grimaced at his words. He reached up for the back of his neck, but dropped his hand quickly before he could touch the bandage. "Try not to stay _up_ too late, Heather."

"Ha ha," Logan said wryly.

Alec quirked a smirk, but he stared at a spot past Logan's ear. "Maybe I'll see you later."

Logan murmured a goodbye. His stare on Alec's back felt like a shout inside Alec's head as he veered quickly for the front door.

 

The window was left opened a crack in clear invitation 

Alec watched Logan roll into the kitchen area by 2315 hours. For once, Alec beat Logan back to the penthouse. Sung had chosen a nice less visible spot behind an active MSG processing factory. No peeping, lookie-loos; no presents for Sung to pick up.

Logan shrugged out of his barn jacket, but kept his speckled gray pullover on. He made a circuit around his place. He turned on the lights, glanced around before moving to the next area. Every light was turned on. All the shadows fled. 

After a few minutes, Logan's shoulders slumped. He rolled into the kitchen, grabbed what looked like crackers and an apple. He steered for the office area. The glass partitions slide shut around Logan like a shield. 

Alec could hear typing through the window crack. He stayed harnessed in his bowline, hanging upside down so only the top of his head crested into the window.

The alarm was off. The window shouldn't have been opened this wide. Alec could feel the cool night air whistling in. Spring only started; its brisk nights reminded everybody winter left them only weeks ago. He wished he could shut the window, but that would give him away. Alec couldn't bring himself to slip into the window either. Not tonight. Not after telling Logan he almost became a tragic statistic thanks to a genetically engineered robot pretending to be a boy.

Slowly, Alec righted himself. He lowered his line and stayed suspended by the window. He watched the distorted shape behind the frosted glass. Alec stroked the window, over the blurry figure.

Behind the glass, Logan straightened out of his hunch. The glass partition slid open.

Logan stared across the office area to the window. He didn't look surprised to see Alec. He didn't look disappointed Alec only hung there. Logan just looked.

Climb back up or climb in. The choices were spelled out pretty clear. Alec could leave. Hell, he _should_ leave. He has enough drama for the day. His dump was calling for him to sleep. The corner duplex below and their gold plated statuettes were calling for him to steal. He has better things to do than hang around a rich guy's window looking like a moron.

Nevertheless, Alec sat in his harness, hanging high above Seattle. He hung there as Logan approached the window, his eyes glued to Alec.

The window slid over, gaping wide. 

The night breeze carded through Logan's bangs, ruffling them, flopping them over his eyes. Logan didn't seem to notice.

"Hey," Alec rasped.

Logan's face was carefully neutral. "Hey." Something flickered in his eyes and deepened the gold flecks within as he considered Alec.

"Do you want to come in?" Logan asked, casually, as if they stood by the front door instead.

Alec glanced into the penthouse. His gaze dropped to Logan's face. And something twisted painfully tight in his chest.

"Where were you then?" Alec squeezed the line snaked around him keeping him aloft. 

The corner of Logan's right eye twitched. "I don't remember."

Alec was inexplicably glad he couldn't tell if Logan was lying or not. "Okay."

Logan placed both hands on the sill. Not quite touching; not quite reaching.

"Do you want to come in?" Logan repeated.

There was an understanding in Logan's voice that hurt more to hear than the resignation Logan usually carried like an albatross. Alec didn't deserve it. He had picked the car because its sirens kept blaring like the klaxons in the platoon's bunker. He chose the car, not any of the people on the ground, simply because it annoyed him more.

"I..." Alec's mouth snapped shut. He shook his head jerkily.

"All right." Logan accepted it with a tiny smile and perceptive eyes. Alec averted his gaze. He stared at the street below instead.

"I figured out a name for the pork chops and beets."

Startled, Alec glanced up. "Yeah? What is it?"

Logan's eyes crinkled even though his mouth stayed small and flat.

"I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Really?" Alec whined, playing along. His line swayed and he gripped the sill in response. His hands lay side by side with Logan's.

"Chef's prerogative," Logan returned. "Come by at nine. I'll tell you then."

Alec swallowed. He dropped his eyes again.

"Nine?" Uncertainty crept back into Logan's voice. It compelled Alec to answer instead of shaking his head.

"Sure." Alec hesitated. He gripped the sill tighter, pulling closer to the window but he froze when he felt his knees touch the building.

Logan's hand drifted closer to Alec's left. It was a brief touch, a pinprick of warmth Alec felt through his grip gloves.

It felt like something needed to be said. Alec opened his mouth, but nothing would come out. Not even a damn joke.

"It's fine, Alec." Logan looked up. For once, he didn't react to how close Alec was. "I'll see you tomorrow, all right?"

Alec numbly nodded. He stared at Logan's mouth. His hands flexed. He leaned closer.

Bones aching, Alec pushed himself away. 

Logan never flinched or tensed. He watched Alec with an intensity Alec knew came from _Eyes Only_ ; those same eyes stare out of the screen every night, peeling secrets off layer by insidious layer. 

Alec tugged at his line, tightened his legs and stopped.

"I..." Alec's mouth was gummy and dry. He met Logan's eyes. His throat squeezed around his words. 

"I almost didn't pick the car," Alec whispered.

Logan's expression didn't change. He nodded.

"I know," Logan murmured. He slowly pushed the window shut. He arched an eyebrow at Alec's frown. With a small bemused smile, Logan set the alarm in front of him. 

Alec watched Logan steer back for his office. When Logan gave the window one last look, Alec weakly waved back. He watched the shut glass partition a few more minutes before he made the climb back up to the roof.

 

Sketchy yelped.

"Hands off," Alec snarled. He hugged the plastic container closer to him. "Mine."

"Aw," Sketchy complained. He didn't make grabby hands for the food again. He perched himself on the edge of the only intact picnic table left in the post Pulse city park. Their bikes were propped up against the nearby tree that sagged over them. "My girl didn't bring me lunch today."

"Which one?" Original Cindy drawled. She rolled her bike over. She fist bumped Sketchy. She ignored the exaggerated puckered lips Alec offered her. "The nurse or the kindergarten teacher?"

"I thought it was the dancer today," Herbal broke in. He plopped down next to Alec, the tacos from the nearby food truck smelling overly sweet and like overripe onions.

Alec screwed up his face, because, gross. "Hey, aren't you guys supposed to be on hot runs?"

Herbal bumped his shoulder with his. His tri-colored knit hat tilted over his brown eyes. "We used our brother's shortcuts, mon. Sailed through the city like Jah carried us."

"So Jah carried you all to here?" Cindy scoffed. 

"Jah carried you here, too?" Alec grinned at her.

"Got a message for our messenger." Cindy tucked a call slip into Alec's front jacket pocket even though he wiggled his ass helpfully to direct her to his back pocket. 

"You are a lady's man," Sketchy said admiringly.

Alec snorted. He caught a glimpse of Sung's hasty scrawl on the slip.

"I do not discriminate," Alec informed Sketchy cheekily. "I have an equal opportunity co—"

Cindy smacked the back of Alec's head. 

"What the hell? I'm eating! That's bad for the digestion!"

" _You're_ bad for my digestion."

Alec grumbled. "Anyway, it's nothing like that. I'm just a favorite for some customers. And isn't the dancer Friday? Today's the yoga instructor, right? She's the one who brings you cookies." 

Sketchy tugged his reflective vest straight like it was a fancy suit. 

"Nah, man. Destiny is on Mondays. Lila is today, but she's opening up shop a few hours more this morning. I'm not going to stand in the way of entrepreneurship." He puffed out his chest. "I'm her business advisor."

Alec scoffed. He continued gnawing on a bone. He glared at Cindy when she leaned over.

"Since when did you become a gourmet?" Cindy pursed her lips when Alec growled at her greedy finger trying to snag a piece. After a short staring (glaring) match, Alec begrudgingly tipped the plastic container towards her. She stabbed a piece with Alec's fork.

"I didn't." Alec blinked when Cindy pierced another piece and dangled it in front of him. He happily chomped it off the fork and in return, offered her another go at his food.

"Ah, you're enjoying the foods of your love, too." Sketchy nodded sagely.

Alec sputtered. Herbal helpfully pounded his back with one hand. The other was curled around a vegan taco.

"What? No! These were leftovers from dinner yesterday." Alec scowled at Sketchy. As if. Ew.

"Thought you said your hole in the wall can't even boil water," Cindy said as she fed him another piece before taking a piece for herself. She hummed.

"This is fine cooking. Original Cindy is all over that. Where did you buy it?"

"I didn't buy it," Alec grumbled. "Someone made it for dinner." He grunted when Sketchy and Herbal exchanged a look. 

" _Someone_?" Cindy smirked. 

"Shut up. I hate wasting food, so I picked up the leftovers this morning for breakfast and lunch."

Sketchy screwed up his face. "You had pork chops and beets for breakfast?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "No, I had _Alec de côtelettes de porc et les betteraves_." He beamed up at them. "It's French."

"You were talking German with that customer last week," Sketchy pointed out.

"I heard you jiving with Chin in Mandarin yesterday," Herbal added.

Original Cindy folded her arms. "And Original Cindy knows you were speaking Russian with that dude on that hot run on Market."

"How many languages do you speak?" Sketchy wiggled the fingers he used to list the languages.

Alec shrugged. "Ten. Thirteen if you're only counting conversational." At their stares, he smirked. "I have a talented tongue." Just for the hell of it, he leered at Cindy.

Cindy smacked him on the back of his head again. She avoided his bandaged neck though and for that, Alec offered her another piece of pork chop. But he didn't share with Sketchy or Herbal. They could get their own rich guy to cook for them.

 

He forgot.

No, he didn't forget. Well, okay, it may have slipped his mind while he bounced from a seven story job to a hidden basement vault to lurking on a balcony looking out for snipers. The headache started out as a twitch in his right eye. Five days later, even moonlight made his eyes watered. He was going to double up on his dose when his stiff joints woke him up this morning. But Seattle PD came banging on every squatter door so he blazed out of there and left his tryptophan stash in the lower wall stud.

Damn it.

All day at _Jam Pony_ , Alec felt the ticking time bomb in the back of his mind. It thrummed quietly, in the base of his spine, inching slyly up his back and settled behind the mutilated scabbed remains of his bar code. It pulsed contrary to his heart rate. It was distracting. He snapped unfairly at Sketchy, snarled at Normal and almost punched a hole in the locker when Herbal startled him with a companionable arm over his shoulders. Original Cindy steered clear of him. Later, she slipped a small bottle of goat's milk in his messenger bag. Alec made a mental note to snag her something pretty when he wasn't feeling like shit. 

His headache drifted up to the back of Alec's eyes by the time he clocked off. His skin shrank around his bones and seemed to pull and tug with every movement he made. His fingers didn't obey him half the time; the other half they were clumsy and growing numb. He dreaded the motorcycle's vibrations so he left it inside _Jam Pony_ and rode the bike instead.

His dump was burned. His other bolt holes didn't have tryptophan. The looseness in his left boot indicated he should have pulled off that fourth story job yesterday. Instead, he had perched on a rickety sixth floor balcony while Logan waited below for some asshole informant who never showed up.

Alec stopped. His legs ached; he's been riding aimlessly for ten minutes. It felt like he rode for ten hours.

The world around him blurred. Their voices thinned to the whines of hoverdrones. 

Fourth Street? No, electrical fire last month burned it to the ground. He barely got the three remaining squatters out.

Reade? Too far, past two sectors, no tryptophan.

Alec hunched over. He clutched his pounding head. He could see the shadows on the pavement; people sharply veering away from him. No one stopped to ask if he needed help. On the plus side, no one stopped to ask if he needed help.

Each bolt hole was considered then promptly vetoed. Alec's head drummed louder and louder with each discarded spot. He needed to get tryptophan, maybe goat's milk. Now. He wiggled his toes in his left boot. The wad in there was too small. He needed more cash. Fuck, he needed time to get cash.

Breathing hard, Alec gripped his bike's handlebars tight. Clenching his teeth, Alec forced his knees to bend, press on the pedals and move.

 

It was automatic. Alec could barely see, but his numb legs knew where to go. After a few minutes, his feet stopped pedaling. 

Alec squinted watery eyes in front of him. The street looked familiar. The alley looked familiar.

Someone stood inside its shadows, shifting from foot to foot, shoulders hunched to appear small. The man's clothes hung trim to him; a tailored fit yet the guy tugged and pulled at the sleeves of his suit like they were too short. He kept looking about. He looked out of place wearing sunglasses in the early evening. 

The face was of a stranger's; the stance was not.

Alec's stomach lurched. He set his jaw. His bike inched forward.

Spotting Alec, the man turned towards him and took a tentative step towards him.

Alec whipped his bike around and sped away.

 

It was 1900 hours by the time Alec reached Logan's building. He stared blankly at the front entrance. His knees trembled from the exertion of a measly hour ride. One look at the towering complex and he thought _Fuck that_.

"Why hello, dear."

Alec blinked bleary eyes towards the almost musical voice. He stumbled into the elevator when the guard wasn't looking. Shit. He thought the elevator was empty.

An odd halo ringed a face. It took Alec a few squints before recognition set in.

"Hi, Mrs. Moreno." Alec twisted his mouth to what he hoped was a smile.

Through blurry eyes, Alec caught a fuzzy Mrs. Moreno frown. 

"Oh my, not feeling well today?" Mrs. Moreno gingerly patted Alec on the arm. The gesture shot up his arm and into his head.

Alec gulped back the urge to vomit. "A little headache. Thought I would rest up at Logan's place."

Mrs. Moreno's brow furrowed. Even her little boxy lace hat appeared to frown.

"I'm sorry," Mrs. Moreno murmured, "I thought I saw Logan get in his car this afternoon when I went out for tea with my son-in-law."

It felt like the elevator lurched under Alec's feet.

"Oh," Alec managed. "We were meeting for dinner at eight." He smiled wanly.

Mrs. Moreno patted his arm again. Alec suppressed the flinch.

"You're welcome to rest up at my place until Logan gets back."

Alec stared before he could get his mouth working again. "You...why? I mean...thanks, it's all right. I have a key." Actually, he has a switchblade and a cloned keycard he copied from a drunk security guard. Close enough.

Mrs. Moreno's smile reminded him of the porcelain dolls in her penthouse: a little red line painted onto a pale face.

"If you feel like company, I'm on the floor above Logan."

The elevator door opened on Logan's floor. Alec stumbled out.

"I'll keep that in mind," Alec managed. He made a bigger effort to smile. His face stretched hotly when he tried. "Thanks."

"If he stands you up, let me know," Mrs. Moreno winked at Alec as the doors closed.

"What? No. We're not..."

Alec stared at the elevator, speechless as it carried Mrs. Moreno away. When the pounding renewed behind his eyes again, he went blindly for Logan's door.

 

The sound of typing woke him.

Alec blinked gritty eyes into the cream cotton pillowcase. There was a brief moment of _What the hell_ before he remembered he had tripped, staggered and collapsed onto Logan's bed.

Carefully lifting his heavy head, Alec considered the tall glass of goat's milk and vial of tryptophan on the nightstand. 

Alec shook five white pills into his mouth and washed it down with goat's milk. He rolled the bottle in his hands as he cautiously sat up.

Outside the bedroom, Logan was typing away. A myopic squint at Alec's watch informed him it was 2135 hours. Huh. He slept a little over two hours; he didn't even hear Logan return.

Alec still has his boots on, but Logan managed to pull a corner of his bedspread up and toss it over Alec's legs. Without waking him. Alec was surprised he wasn't bothered by the fact like he should.

The ground did a nauseating up and down under Alec as he weaved for the general direction of the door. His headache, the sensation of his limbs trying to go somewhere without him, were stubbornly clinging on. Crap. The pills should have kicked in by now.

His stomach rocked each step Alec took. He swallowed convulsively as he fumbled for the door knob before he realized the door was already opened a crack. He drunkenly entered the living room.

The typing stopped.

"About time."

Logan's voice thrummed under Alec's skin. It entered before Logan. 

"I didn't throw up on you or anything, did I?" Alec joked weakly. He waved feebly back towards the bedroom behind him. "Sorry about...you know...your bed's pretty comfy."

"I like it," Logan said wryly. He leaned into his wheelchair and studied Alec. His mouth pursed.

Alec showed his hands. "I had some. Really. But Seattle PD came knocking on doors for shakedown. I didn't have a chance to grab my stuff." He grimaced. "I still had a month's supply left."

"In my medicine cabinet, there's a large bottle that says oxydroxolyn." Logan went to the kitchen and came out with a covered tray on his lap. "I keep a supply of tryptophan in it." He smiled tightly as he veered past Alec to set the tray on the coffee table. 

"Awesome." Alec frowned. "Wait. Oxydroxolyn. Isn't that a painkiller?"

Logan shrugged. "Never helped. And having it around was too tempting." 

"Huh?"

"Never mind." A shadow crossed Logan's face. "In the future, I'll keep a backup stash in there. Just go ahead and use it if you need." He gestured to the tray. "Sit down. You need to eat something."

Alec studied the tray. "That doesn't look like pork chops and beets."

"Considering how I found you _convulsing_ on my bed," Logan said tightly. "I doubted you were going to have the stomach for it." He uncovered the tray to reveal two mugs filled with a yellowish clear broth.

Alec gaped at the bowls. "You made _soup_?"

"No, Mrs. Moreno did," Logan corrected. "She brought it down. I just came back and she mentioned you looked terrible." Logan canted his head when Alec bristled. "As in _sick_ terrible."

Oh. Alec raised a hand towards his neck until he realized Logan was watching. "She made us both soup?"

"She was worried I would catch what you had?" Logan shrugged. "I didn't want to hurt her feelings and from how she described you, I had a feeling what it might be."

"Mrs. Moreno is awesome," Alec mumbled as he eased himself into the couch. Logan transferred over and passed him a mug and a plate of toast. He pressed his hand over Alec's shaky one curled around the mug. When Alec's hand steadied, Logan pulled his away.

"There's more," Logan told him as he watched Alec lift the mug. "She brought down a whole pot."

It wasn't pork chops and beets, but the soup was velvety smooth. It was a little on the salty side, but it was steaming hot and plenty of it as Logan refilled his mug with more from the kitchen.

Alec tasted chicken, almost sugary carrot and sweet onion. The liquid was thicker than he thought, but it glided down his throat soothingly. He dipped the sharp point of toast and savored the crunchy bite of buttered bread and salty soup.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better." Alec munched as he noisily sipped the soup. Logan was right: the soup was enough. His stomach churned at the thought of more food. 

Alec regretfully set his mug and the rest of the toast down. He sagged back into the couch. He listened to Logan finish half the soup. He frowned to himself.

"You're gonna hurt her feelings," Alec warned as Logan leaned forward to set the mug down.

The mug hovered over the coffee table.

"It's just soup. Don't tell me you gotta be in the mood for soup." Alec's head rolled to the side. He smirked when Logan sighed, but finished the mug's contents. 

"Happy?" Logan asked dryly as he set the mug down.

Alec pinched a spot between his eyes.

"Once I stop feeling like crap, I'll show you how happy I am," Alec mumbled. The warmth of the soup faded back to queasiness. He swallowed again and again, but the gumminess in his throat wouldn't go away.

"You took the tryptophan?" Logan's frown deepened at Alec's careful nod. "It should have taken effect by now."

Alec stuck out a hand to show the shakes. "I've been out all day without a dose. It'll kick in, just not as fast as it should." He grimaced when his left leg spasmed and lashed out, catching a coffee table leg. Logan caught a mug before it rolled off.

"Damn it." Alec gritted his teeth. He slapped a fist over a jittery knee. "I h-hate it when that h-happens." He squeezed his eyes shut. The ceiling was warping in front of him and he was going to lose his dinner soon if he kept his eyes open.

"Warning," Alec bit out. "I may throw up on you."

Logan gingerly dropped a hand on Alec's knee. When Alec wordlessly snapped, Logan didn't pull away.

"I would tell you to stay calm," Logan said soothingly. "But you'll probably punch me."

Alec bit his lower lip. "Don't make me laugh," he gasped. "Makes it worst, remember?"

Logan smoothed his palm over Alec's knee. He kept it there, the warmth of his hand seeping into Alec's leg through his jeans. 

The headache that stayed back during his nap and dinner abruptly lurched forward. It felt like a balloon swelling inside his head, pushing against his eyes, his nose, his throat. 

"Shit..." Alec half-whimpered. "I h-hate this." He pressed his fists into his eye sockets. He groaned. "I really really h-hate 'is."

Through blurry eyes, Alec saw Logan purse his lips, debating something. He must have come to a decision, because he exhaled.

"You should lie down."

Alec grimaced. "Yeah. S-sounds like a plan." He shuffled, his hands pressing into the couch to push off.

"No, uh..." Logan waved feebly towards his lap. "On the couch. Rest your head here."

Alec stared. The longer he stared, the pinker Logan's ears burned.

Logan looked discomfited, but he plowed on. "I have an idea."

"I h-have an idea, too, but maybe we should hear yours. I-I'm not up for mine, tonight," Alec stammered. It earned him a glower that was partially edged with fear. 

Alec clamped down anything else he wanted to say. Nothing sounded funny in his head right now. He dutifully sat down on the couch again and stretched out. His legs twitched sporadically. He carefully dropped his aching head onto Logan's thigh, settling the curve of his nape into the muscled limb, his scabbed bar code pressing against Logan's leg. 

"Oh yeah." Alec couldn't help himself. "This is _much_ better, th-hanks." He chuckled nervously.

A finger gingerly brushed over his temples. It withdrew quickly at Alec's flinch.

"Sorry," Alec mumbled. "Wasn't expecting it."

Fingers returned, bolder, to press into the tender spots on either side of Alec's head. After a brief moment of hesitation, the fingers applied weight, seeking the pulse thrumming underneath and started moving in small, slow circles.

"I used to get headaches," Logan explained in a low voice in deference to his fingers' languid motion. "First month I was in the...there was a time I needed to get physical therapy to get used to the...to the chair." His fingers stuttered in memory. Logan exhaled, ruffling Alec's short hairs and the fingers continued.

"Used to get a lot of tension at the back of my neck and shoulders," Logan continued, "From sitting wrong, slumped...my lower back muscles weren't strong enough after lying in a bed for so long." Logan's voice strengthened. "So I used to get a lot of tension headaches." 

Fingers cupped the back of Alec's head. They dug into his scalp and rotated carefully, walking up and down his skull. Logan's other hand massaged deep into the crook of Alec's neck.

The dual pressures unfurled the ribbon of tension behind Alec's eyes. His headache pulsed and he wondered if Logan could feel it pounding under Alec's skin. Maybe Logan did, because his administrations were stronger now, determined to push the headache out.

"Who taught you how to do this?" 

The fingers faltered then started up again.

Alec swallowed. He opened his eyes and rolled them up. 

Logan's face was pinched, his eyes dark and intent as he concentrated on massaging small circles into Alec's head.

"Bling..." Logan's mouth tightened. "He didn't teach me per se, more like I picked it up from him." He flashed Alec a strained smile. "I used to get a lot of headaches."

"Still do," Alec murmured. His eyes slid shut. He circled a finger around his eyes. "You get this sort of look."

"Look?"

"Like you got a whiff of something stinky." Alec sagged deeper into the couch. He counted the circles Logan's fingers burrowed into his skin. Fifteen perfect small circles. Pause. Repeat.

"S'nice," Alec mumbled. His fingers lightly scratched the couch and thought of how it was different against the firm smoothness of Logan's skin.

"Better?" Logan didn't stop. 

"Much," Alec sighed. "This must have felt awesome when Bling did it." 

Logan's fingers stilled.

"Uh..." 

Logan exhaled shakily. Alec grimaced. 

"Sorry," Alec offered. "You could blame my screwy brain chemistry. Right now, who knows what's going on in my head when it's starving for tryptophan? I mean, right now I'm craving sauerkraut, which is like, what the hell? I never had sauerkraut and who the hell wants to eat deliberately fermented—

"Bling believed in the adage 'no pain, no gain'."

Alec's mouth snapped shut.

Logan rested his hands on either side of Alec's head.

"Helped with my headaches the first month back from the hospital. Then he doubled up the sessions to strengthen my lower back so I wouldn't mess up my head again with my 'lazy, ass rich man posture'."

Logan's voice was soft, lilted in memory, but Alec caught the amusement in the end and knew those were Bling's words, not Logan's.

"Sounded like he was tough on you." Alec turned towards one of Logan's hands. A finger brushed against his cheek. He gingerly leaned closer.

"He was," Logan said. His voice was hoarse, but a fondness was underneath it. "He'd pretty much made sure I didn't quit."

"You? Quit?" Alec scoffed. He arched his head back and stared at Logan upside down.

Logan offered him a small shrug. 

"The first month was hard." Logan's eyes clouded over. "Then when my new treatment started failing, I was at the point of..." He absently carded a hand through Alec's hair. Alec held his breath.

Logan shook his head. He settled back into coaxing the headache away.

Alec's head rocked a little on Logan's thigh.

"You said first month," Alec said. His tongue felt stuck in the roof of his mouth. He wanted to roll his head against the hand, fully lean into it.

"Bling stopped after." Logan's voice turned rueful. "Said my headaches this time was my own damn fault sticking my face too close to the computer with all this _Eyes Only_ business." 

Alec scoffed. "You're lucky you didn't need stronger prescription by now." He gestured towards Logan's face. "Those are way better."

"Thank you," Logan replied dryly. 

Alec paused; he reviewed back their exchange. "He helped you. How long did he know you were _Eyes Only_?" 

"Second month I was back home." Logan was subdued, his grip careful as he moved his hand lower to cradle Alec's neck. 

A finger pressed into Alec's suboccipitals, under the back of his skull. The loosening knot sent relief down to his spasming legs. The touch left him lightheaded. 

"I figured he would work it out eventually. There were only so many doctor appointments I could have taken."

"Porn," Alec murmured groggily. Logan's hands were warm against his scalp, moving gently like the sway of his line in the breeze. 

Logan chuckled, strained. "It didn't occur to me then to use that as my cover."

Alec breathed deep. The vibrations sawing up and down his legs calmed.

"Looks like the tryptophan is working finally."

Alec nodded sleepily.

Logan's hand carefully cupped lower, barely grazing the bandage. He began working on his nape. His other hand left Alec's shoulder to curl over his forehead. Both hands squeezed around his head, a brief squeeze then release, squeeze and release, squeeze and release that echoed Alec's pulse.

Alec hummed, his eyes half shut. He could see Logan's eyes dark and focused with a single-minded attention, his hands, his warm, dry hands skimming over his body, flesh pressing down on flesh...

Heat stirred between Alec's legs. He fidgeted, suddenly aware of how exposed he was: laid out before Logan, unarmed, drowsy, neck stretched out revealing a vulnerable pulse.

The thought boiled under Alec's skin. He thought he could feel his pulse jump in the joint of his thigh and hip. It pounded, feeding his cock.

"Alec? Feeling better?"

Alec wordlessly nodded again.

Logan's hands pulled away. "You should get some sleep." He transferred back into his chair. 

The heat between Alec's legs cooled.

"Yeah. Sounds like a good idea. I'll just...guest room." Alec watched Logan retreat into the bedroom. On wobbly legs, Alec stood up. His legs were unsteady; it took him a few haltering steps before he could walk away.

 

"Alec? What are you doing here?"

Alec had found himself staring at the toothbrush in the guest bath. He fuzzily noted the bristles flattened on one end. While he brushed, it hit him with a jolt. This was his toothbrush. The one he used and left behind. The one now in its own little green cup at the corner of the marble countertop. 

In a haze, Alec found himself standing uncertainly in Logan's doorway.

Logan's hair was darker and damp from the shower. He had changed into a pair of jogging pants and a gray t-shirt stamped with the logo of a university that no longer existed. He lowered the towel he used to wipe the toothpaste off his mouth. There was still a tiny bit at the corner of his mouth, begging to be licked off.

Alec was about to turn around, but he caught the distant grief still lingering in Logan's green-brown eyes. And he thought about the blue striped toothbrush in the bathroom. Stomach churning, Alec dug his bare feet into the plush blue carpet.

"Sleep," Alec yawned. He pushed on into the bedroom. He could feel Logan's eyes on his back; he suppressed the shiver that went down his back. 

"Alec, what are you—"

Alec yawned again, as wide as he could. His stumble, however, was genuine. Logan stopped protesting. He wheeled over, one hand gripping Alec's elbow. Alec made it a point not to look over when he flopped onto the bed. He groaned happily as he rubbed his face onto the thick covers. He sat up, pretending to struggle out of his shirt.

Okay, he was only half pretending.

"Shit," Alec whined. His arms were going in when he was telling them to go out. The neckline snared over an ear and suddenly, Alec couldn't tell which way was up. 

"Are you— _Seriously_? I'm actually stuck." Cotton surrounded Alec as his t-shirt tried to wrap around his head instead.

"Hold on," Logan chuckled.

"That's all I can do," Alec bitched. He wiggled harder and the shirt clung tighter. "Damn it."

"Wait. Wait. You're making it worse."

The carpet muted the wheelchair's approach. Nevertheless, Alec could feel Logan filling the room with his presence, the air suspended around them in his wake.

"How did you manage to do that?" Logan asked, bemused, as he tugged a rubbery limb out from a gnarled swath of cotton.

"Talent," Alec grumbled. "They splice and diced us to be bendy so we can squeeze into the tightest plac—ouch!" 

"Sorry." Logan didn't sound too sorry, but Alec forgave Heather since the guy was helping him and all.

At last, Alec's head popped free from his shirt and he sighed.

"I hate it when I miss a dose," Alec grumbled. "Everything gets all confusing for a while."

"It's not as bad as last time," Logan murmured. He tossed a threadbare shirt at Alec from his dresser. "This should fit."

"No offense, but I think anything of yours would fit me. You wear everything too large." Alec scrutinized the faded blue shirt. He could make out where the fabric must have stretched over; probably when Logan was _in the mood_ for food more often. He wiggled into it. Almond, detergent and coffee assailed his nostrils.

"Geez, you must bathe in this stuff," Alec muttered. His jeans shrunk around him. He wished he could take off his jeans, but that would probably freak Logan out.

"What?"

"Nothing." Alec narrowed his eyes at Logan. "Where the hell you think you're going?"

Logan looked owlishly at him. "What?"

Alec flopped back down on the bed. He patted the spot next to him. 

"Oh," Logan fumbled. "I thought I'll get some more..." He sighed when Alec lifted up his head to glower at him.

"Really, Alec?"

"Come on," Alec whined, because hell, he was wearing a shirt that smelled like Logan, sleeping on a bed that smelled like Logan, he wanted the real thing.

Logan exhaled. 

"Seriously, Heather. I promise I won't throw up on you, it's late, your damn clicking clacking outside keeps me awake and—"

"All right, all right," Logan muttered, "Keep your pants on."

"Do I have to?" Alec grinned cheekily at Logan. "Sorry." 

Logan muttered as he transferred over. He grimaced as he shifted his hips onto the mattress. 

"On your back," Alec ordered. "I don't think sleeping on your side is a good idea right now."

Logan gave him a startled look, but complied. He gingerly slid lower onto the bed. As soon as he settled supine, he sighed.

"Better?" Alec rolled to his side and watched the side of Logan's face.

"Funny." Logan turned his head to Alec. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

Alec yawned right at Logan's face.

"Nice," Logan said dryly. He squinted at the ceiling. Without his glasses, Alec thought Logan looked younger without them, the scant light from the lamp no longer reflecting a glare off his lenses. Unshielded, the hazel swirled green, gold, brown all at once, unable to decide what color to settle on. It left Logan appearing uncertain, alone and a little bit afraid.

Alec dropped a hand on Logan's arm.

"Thanks," Alec murmured. He curled his hand around Logan's elbow. "I hate it when these things hit. I should have kept better track of my tryptophan."

"I'll keep a stash here," Logan said quietly. His eyes flicked to Alec. They faced forward again. "Just in case."

Alec shuffled close enough to drop his forehead to the bony jut of a shoulder. He felt Logan twitch.

"Yeah." Alec yawned against Logan's arm. "Thanks, man."

Alec thought he felt Logan tip his head to him. Briefly. Too briefly. It was over before it registered.

"Get some sleep," Logan whispered.

Alec mumbled something that even he couldn't make out. He sank into the heat pressed against his face, the solidness he curled a hand over and drifted off.

 

_"How much?"_

_Alec blearily looked up at the guy fidgeting by the alleyway. The portly, balding guy looked like someone's uncle with his blonde goatee and thinning hair. He wore a cheap suit, probably couldn't afford to be here, in Alec's alley, every week._

_"Depends on what you want to check off your list." Alec straightened up from his crouch. His mouth tasted like paste because the previous Fifty used a cheap condom. Alec wanted to crawl into a hole and sleep, but the headache thrumming and the empty pill vial told him to suck it up. Literally._

_"I..." Alec's potential customer fumbled out a billfold. It looked like it was old even before the Pulse._

_"I...I have three hundred dollars." As if fearing Alec wouldn't believe him, the guy clutched the grimy three hundred in his hands. He looked like he was about to fling the money at Alec._

_Alec's eyes widened fractionally. He wiped his clammy palms on his jeans._

_"Well," Alec drawled. "That'll check off a lot of things off your list." Alec's face cracked as he smiled. He tamped down the urge to vomit; his headache was hollering for his attention. Later. Later. Three hundred bucks meant he could feel like shit later._

_"I-I never..." Three Hundred stammered as Alec walked over. His brown eyes were overblown, his breath reeked of what liquid courage he downed before coming here._

_"But you thought about it," Alec encouraged. The script he carried in his head for the past four months, eleven days and nine hours rolled out automatically._

_"Bet you thought about it a lot." Alec slipped two fingers into the guy's waistband. It took some doing; his belly overflowed out of his cheap, non-tailored pants. Great. He'll be clumsy. Then again, he'll be grateful for whatever he gets from Alec._

_"You probably watched this corner a lot," Alec went on as he pulled the guy deeper into his alley with his hooked fingers. "You probably watched for me a lot."_

_Three Hundred nodded jerkily. He flushed, pink splotched unevenly on flabby cheeks._

_Alec smiled thinly as he undid the flies. The pungent smell of sex wafted free. The guy started to pant._

_"Which part of me did you watched the most?" Alec invited. He slipped a finger into the zipper line, his fingertip teasing the bulge swollen behind once dark blue boxers. Slowly, he pulled his finger through the zipper, parting metal teeth, his nail lightly grazing the erection as it went._

_Three Hundred whimpered. His hips stuttered forward._

_"Your...your mouth," the guy gasped. He was almost sobbing by the time Alec completely undid his flies. The guy was probably going to blow his load too early. Terrific._

_"My mouth?" Thank God. Alec wasn't looking forward to anything else tonight; his head pounded relentlessly. His eyes watered. At least this time the twitching in his hands would work to his benefit._

_Alec sank to his knees. The guy gaped down at him._

_"It's a nice thought," Alec breathed before he reached for the guy's—_

With a cough, Alec woke.

Alec's eyes blurred, his throat ached from the memory of Three Hundred's overly enthusiastic response to Alec's gummy dry mouth rolling up the condom on him. He blinked rapidly until he could see again and zero in on what woke him. 

Next to him, Logan grunted. He muttered something under his breath. His head moved restlessly on his pillow.

Alec propped himself up with an elbow. Carefully, he shook Logan's shoulder.

Logan woke suddenly, but silently.

"Hey," Alec murmured. "I don't mind you whispering into my ear and all that, but I could do without the drool."

Logan blinked, his eyes half-mast. He finally focused on Alec. He visibly relaxed. 

Alec slipped an arm under Logan's shoulders. Logan flinched at first before he slowly rolled to his side. Alec caught him mid-roll, his other arm looping around. He clasped his hands over Logan's stomach. He fidgeted closer, enough that he could feel Logan take in a shuddering breath.

"I wake you?" Logan whispered.

"Nah. I woke myself up." Alec shrugged against Logan's back. His hands pressed into Logan's body before releasing. "Dream. Stupid headaches."

Logan briefly touched Alec's folded hands. "Tonight's the night for it."

Alec bit his lower lip. He pressed his face to the shoulder blade. He exhaled harshly.

"More like a memory really," Alec muttered. "I never dream about unicorns or standing naked in a crowd or fun stuff like that." He swallowed. He wiggled closer, crushing his nose to the side of Logan's neck. "I think they made us remember, not imagine, so we could review strategy even in our sleep." 

"What did you..." Logan's swallow moved his head against Alec. "You don't have to tell me."

Logan was right. Alec didn't have to tell anyone. Hell, he rarely told himself. But it was just a job; it was survival. It wasn't even a nightmare. Like he told Logan: it was just memory. Visual replay. Whatever.

Alec told him, plain and automatic. A mission debrief. Reporting to duty. He told Logan how after five weeks in the Outside, Alec figured out horny perverts paid a lot for something quick and quiet. They liked how young Alec looked, liked how smooth his palms were over their dicks. He told Logan how he almost deep-sixed his mission to get enough to pay for a six month supply of tryptophan because he almost threw up around Three Hundred's dick. 

Alec omitted some details. 

Logan didn't need to hear how Alec burned the jeans after when he couldn't wash off the crusty stains from the alley. Logan didn't need to hear how Alec gagged at the smell of a particular brand of cheap cologne for weeks. Logan didn't need to hear how Alec always made sure it was dark enough, isolated enough, quiet enough before he deemed it safe enough to work with his bar code exposed.

Silent, Logan didn't interrupt Alec as he gave his debrief. When Alec was finished, Logan still said nothing. Alec slipped a bent knee between Logan's legs. 

Warm hands curled over Alec's cold ones. Logan gave Alec's fingers a brief squeeze. 

Alec nosed the hair line along Logan's untarnished nape. He inhaled deep. Logan smelled like sleep and soap.

"Yeah," Alec rasped into the back of Logan's head. "So I don't dream. I just remember." He buried his face into the thick brown hair.

"Alec..." Logan hesitated when Alec flinched. Logan's chest expanded within Alec's arms. He exhaled in a _whoosh_.

Air hissed out harshly through Alec's teeth.

"Don't," Alec ground out. "Don't apologize for what happened. I'm not sorry. I'm not. I did what I had to do." He crushed his flushed face into the bony ridge of Logan's shoulder blade.

"I won't," Logan said. "I think we both know apologies can't fix the past." He gripped Alec's hands tightly, their combined hands was a knot of knuckle and bone over his belly. "If you find yourself in this again, come here. Okay? _Come here_."

Alec nipped the thick border of Logan's neckline.

"Alec?"

"Yeah." Alec nodded against Logan's shoulder. "I will."

Logan sighed. He lay on his side, breathing. Alec found himself matching it. Their hushed in and outs were soothing in the dark.

Alec pressed his lips to Logan's nape. He felt Logan tensed but eventually relaxed. 

"What did you dream about before?" Alec murmured.

Alec felt Logan's grip loosening.

"I don't dream either," Logan said. "Not any more. It feels pointless to."

Alec pulled Logan closer to his chest. Logan didn't stop him.

Logan's feet were like ice. Alec tucked his other leg over Logan's and sandwiched the cold feet between his. Even through the jogging pants, Alec could feel the chilly length of Logan's legs. Yet Logan's hands curled over his were warm, as if all the heat rushed up to his hands covering Alec.

"So it was a memory before?" Alec briskly rubbed his feet over Logan's. The bed moved, but Logan didn't react.

"I saw Bling," 

Alec stilled.

"I saw him telling me he needed to get my files, where I was getting treatment for my legs." Logan hesitated. His hands slipped away from Alec's, taking away its heat as well. Alec shivered.

"What happened?" Alec murmured into Logan's shoulder. The sagging sweatshirt's neckline exposed smooth, warm skin. Alec brushed his nose across muscle, the back dip of the clavicle, the tendon corded along the side of his throat.

Logan shivered. Alec tugged the covers up higher over their legs. 

"He called. Said he had to burn all of the files. It looked like someone had been rifling through them."

The chill from Logan's legs seemed to have snaked up Alec's back. "Manticore."

"Who else could it be?" Logan cleared his throat. "The doctor...she had worked for them at one time."

Alec fought not to flinch. "What?"

Logan fidgeted. "Dr. Vertes."

Alec shook his head, ruffling the back of Logan's head in the process. "I never knew names. Just faces." He bit his lower lip. "Did she use what she used in Manticore?"

Logan silently nodded.

The high whine of a saw echoed in Alec's ears. He tugged Logan flush to his chest.

"She..." Alec croaked. "She didn't want to saw into your legs or anything like that?"

Logan sounded startled. "No. No, nothing like that." He quieted.

"I'm sorry."

Alec frowned. "For what?"

"For seeking her out. She was from Manticore." Logan audibly swallowed. 

"She was everything I was against, the things I suspected she was involved in..." Logan's head shifted away. "I was desperate."

Alec rested his chin on the knobby bones that went up Logan's back. He could feel Logan's shuddering breath. He thought of Logan, maybe in his wheelchair, stamping down his beliefs, his morals and going to Vertes for help.

The body Alec held stilled when Alec pressed a light kiss on the spot where a barcode would be.

"Did she help?" Alec whispered.

Logan was stock still.

Alec brushed the tip of his nose over the spot he tasted. 

"Did she help at least?"

Logan nodded jerkily.

Alec turned his head to rub his cheek over Logan's nape. "Good."

"I..." Logan breathed out sharply. "You're okay with this?"

Alec shrugged against Logan. He squirmed closer until he could feel Logan's spine against his stomach.

"Is that why Manticore killed her?"

Logan was silent for a beat.

"She had gone into hiding from Manticore. I think while she was helping me, they somehow tracked her down. I'm pretty sure they found Bling in her office and that's why they killed him."

Logan's hand reached up. He rubbed his face wearily.

"In my dream...I...I could see myself sitting there, watching Bling tell me how we needed to get those files back. I couldn't get myself to tell him no. It was right there. I should have said no. But he had been so convincing. Maybe we could duplicate what she did; my data was out in the open, my diagnosis, my recovery notes. We couldn't risk anyone finding it."

Alec felt a knot in his chest. "You said he burned it all?"

"He called, told me he had my file, but he was going to have to burn all of it. He couldn't risk taking it with him and..."

"What?"

Logan choked out a laugh. "Whatever he had read in my file pissed him off. He said when he was done, he was coming back to kick my ass, wheelchair or not."

Alec scoffed. "You seem to bring that out in people."

Logan murmured, agreeing. 

"I waited. All night. Sung told me there was a fire at her clinic. But no bodies. I had told Bling to go off grid if he ever felt there was trouble. But three hours became three days. Then three days became three weeks..." Logan feebly fidgeted away from Alec. He was unable to do more than shrug him back.

"He never broke," Alec murmured to the back of Logan's head. His arms were loosely wrapped around Logan. With the distance, Logan suddenly felt small, shrinking, fading. But he didn't try to pull Logan back to safety. The curved back and bowed head ward him off. 

"No," Logan agreed hoarsely. "Otherwise I would have been dead or wishing I was."

Alec couldn't stop himself from pulling Logan back to him now. Too roughly if Logan's small yelp was any indication.

"I wish I met Bling," Alec rasped into Logan's hair. "I wish I met you earlier. I..." There was no point wishing. Alec knew that. Yet, his gut writhed with regret.

"He would have thought you were a smart ass," Logan murmured. His hands felt icy cold now. "But secretly, he would have liked you."

Alec smiled faintly into Logan's nape. "I would have had fun pissing him off."

Logan's body shook in a quiet mix of laughter and a darker emotion that must hurt too much to acknowledge. But after a moment, Logan quieted. The laughter faded. Alec thought he could feel shadows slithering around them, burrowing under Logan's skin.

"Bling. Vertes. They were trying to help me." Logan sighed. "They died for nothing."

Alec traced the line of Logan's ribs under his shirt. Logan carded his fingers into Alec's. He tightened his hold. He didn't reply.

"Get some sleep," Alec smoothed his palm down Logan's chest and settled it over the faint heartbeat under the shirt. 

"You have to save the weak, the defenseless, the down trodden, etcetera, etcetera." Alec nuzzled the back of Logan's head.

"You should feel better in the morning," Logan said sleepily. His shoulders rolled back, settling into the curve of Alec's body.

The glide of Logan's body against Alec's groin should have enticed, but instead, something warm and tender took hold of Alec's breath. His words stuck in his throat. He pulled Logan ever closer. He wished he could crush Logan to his body. He held Logan, like a toy he never thought he could have, and felt Logan relax against him. His breathing slowed.

Under Alec's palm, Logan's heart thumped with the promise of never stopping. 

Alec settled his face between Logan's bowed shoulders. He kissed the smooth neck. He kissed the soft spot behind the left ear. He caressed the shy heartbeat under the shirt with the back of his fingers.

"I don't think you're nothing," Alec whispered.

Logan didn't reply, of course. He slept on. 

Alec closed his eyes and let Logan's rhythmic breathing lull him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies (again): No technical woes made me miss posting last week. Unless you count me _forgetting_ to post last week as a technical. At the very least, it's a woe. Sigh. My apologies. (head hanging)
> 
> Many thanks to BlackRoses, who read my mind about my intentions for Alec and gave me food for thought......


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: contains smut and strong language

He was...alone?

Alec blinked blearily at the misshapen pillow next to him. He woke further, sitting up with a bolt when he realized three things:

Logan woke up, got out of bed and it didn't wake Alec in the progress.

It was 1034 hours. Holy shit, he slept over _ten_ hours.

Alec was two hours late for work.

"Crap!" 

Alec found himself in the unfamiliar experience of clumsiness; he skidded briefly _on carpet_ and tangled his legs on the covers. His head still felt like it was too heavy on his shoulders; moving was an effort he wasn't accustomed to.

In his _oh shit oh shit_ state looking for his shirt and boots, Alec almost missed the sticky note that fluttered off his forehead. He abruptly stopped. He blinked stupidly at the tiny yellow square on the carpet. He could read it fine from where he stood, but he picked it up anyway.

_Have to go out. Clothes hanging in the closet. Faxed over request forms to Jam Pony. Non peanut butter food outside. Tryptophan on coffee table._

It wasn't signed, but there was no mistaking the precise lettering. Logan's handwriting went from architect ruler straight to a spastic doctor scribble whenever he's agitated. There was no in-between with that guy. 

Below though, in a different colored ink, as if an afterthought, there was a nine digit cell phone number. It wasn't one of the numbers Logan had before. Alec rubbed his thumb under it as he memorized it with a faint smile. 

Logan picked up after four rings with a distracted _"Hello?"_

Smirking, Alec happily panted into the phone.

 _"Good morning to you too,"_ Logan said dryly. _"I take it this means you're feeling better or is it your way to tell me you need help?"_

"It means I'm starving and cleaning out your fridge." Alec bit into the turkey and ham sandwich loudly into the phone he held with the other hand. Shredded lettuce sprinkled onto the counter.

_"There's no more peanut butter."_

"Boo hoo. No man, what you left me here was great." Alec picked up every crispy green ribbon that dropped. He glanced down at the remaining half of the sandwich.

"You in the mood for lunch later?" Alec grimaced, hearing himself. "I'll be sure to leave you some celery."

_"No. I'll be out all day."_

Alec frowned. "Should I be insulted?" he joked weakly. He sobered. "Hey, last night..." He lowered the food and studied the seam of the hardwood in front of him. The phone suddenly felt heavy in his hand.

"It's not because...uh...Seriously, I didn't make things weird between us or anything, did I? Like you didn't wake up to me trying to, er, so you freaked out and head for the hills or something?"

_"Seattle's surprisingly flat. No hills."_

Alec snorted. "I don't know who's been telling you you're funny. 'Cause you're not, Heather."

 _"One has to have a sense of humor considering how broken the world is."_ Logan paused. _"Sorry."  
_

"For what?"

 _"An unexpected tip come in earlier. Thought I'd better talk to my informant right away."_

Alec frowned. "What kind of a tip? Where are you?" Wiping his mouth with his sleeve, he crossed to the office area in four long strides. He hooked a finger into the drawer. He scowled into its contents. He wasn't sure if the gun's absence was worrying or reassuring.

 _"I don't think I'll need it,"_ Logan said abruptly. _"I only brought it as a precaution. I'm more at risk of losing my patience right now."_

Alec knitted his brow. "How did—"

_"It's the first thing you usually check for."_

"Not really," Alec shot back. "I say hello to my ladies first."

Even through the phone, Alec heard Logan pause, puzzled.

 _"Your lad—Oh, you mean_ my _lesbian vases."_

"Hey, you say po-tay-to..." Alec smirked. When his eyes drifted back to the gun drawer, his smile dropped.

_"I'll be okay."_

"Stop that," Alec complained. "I know you're the great and powerful messiah, but stop trying to read my mind. It's freaky."

 _"Sorry,"_ Logan deadpanned.

Alec lowered his voice invitingly. "Do you know what I'm thinking right now?"

 _"I'm hanging up."_ Logan, however, was chuckling.

"Aw," Alec griped. "And here I thought I would keep you company while you sit by the docks waiting for your tardy informant."

_"Wait, how did you—"_

Another fog horn, louder than the first when Logan had picked up the call, rumbled into the phone.

Alec snickered. "Dude, if you want to keep it a secret from an X-5, you should have chosen a quieter place."

_"You're not just an X-5."_

Alec made a face at the phone at the non-sequitur. "Well, obviously. Babe, I'm way more than that. I'm just saying."

 _"You keep..."_ Logan exhaled.

"What?" 

_"You keep referring yourself like...like you're not real."_

Alec rolled his eyes. "Uh, newsflash? I was cooked up in a test tube. I'm _not_ real." A lump formed in his throat. He ran a finger along the edge of the gun drawer. He hoped Logan had remembered to fill his clip. "I wasn't made by the birds and the bees rule. So it doesn't count." 

_"You felt pretty real to me last night."_

Alec snickered. It sounded desperate in his ears. He kept laughing anyway, crowding out the silence before Logan could fill it with something Alec wasn't sure he deserved to hear.

Logan sighed. _"You know what I meant."_

"Uh huh. Hey, you felt pretty real to me too. Granted, you were on the scrawny side, but you made the best little spoo—"

_"I'm hanging up."_

"No! Come on," Alec whined. He went back to the kitchen and hopped up onto the island counter. "Okay, I'll be serious."

_"That'll be a first."_

"Shut up." Alec tore a part of the remaining half. "Someone has to cancel out your perpetual broodiness."

_"And you were gangpressed into the job. Poor you."_

Alec popped the morsel in his mouth. "Hey, I _volunteered_ ," he said, muffled. "Someone needs to help you eat your food. Keep making sandwiches like these and I would totally throw myself over that grenade." 

Especially if it was a turkey and ham one. Logan had coated the curly strips of lettuce with a tangy dressing that had a hint of briny anchovies. 

_"...That's very big of you."_

"It is, isn't it?" Alec tipped his head against the phone. Even though Logan couldn't see it, he leered. 

"Want to know what else of mine is big?" 

_"Good by—"_

"All right! All right!" Alec snickered. "Geez, you're grumpy this morning. You skipped breakfast? Oh wait, let me guess, you weren't _in the mood_."

_"I had coffee."_

"Only counts if you eat it with a fork and knife." Alec traced the brushed texture of the stainless steel countertop.

"I could...I dunno...drop off a sandwich for you," Alec mumbled. 

Logan exhaled. _"Alec—"_

"It's not getting involved. Just making sure my meal ticket doesn't expire behind the wheel from hunger. I mean, you'll make a cute corpse, but you'll make a cuter not-dead person."

Logan fell silent. Another distant foghorn mourned low and long. Alec, at this point, narrowed it down to three locations Logan could be.

There was a crackle in their line. Logan hesitated and let the static fill the silence between them. _"I'm just getting some information."_

"You alone?"

The silence grated.

Alec growled into the phone. "Are you kidding? Or do you have another one of your _backups_ with you?"

Logan noisily exhaled. _"This isn't like Cape Haven."_

"Uh huh."

_"I'm fine, Alec."_

"Course you are." Alec dug fingers into his knee. Judging by the cadence of Logan's voice against the foghorn, there were two possible locations now.

Logan audibly fidgeted in the phone. _"I tried to wake you before I left...to tell you. I didn't want you to wake up alo—ah, but you were sound asleep."_

Alec dismantled the rest of the sandwich on the counter. Torn strips of sliced meat formed a pile by the bread slices. 

"I didn't hear you," Alec confessed.

 _"You needed the rest. Max..."_ Logan swallowed. _"I've been told they can hit pretty hard depending on how long you missed a dose. Long enough and..."_

Alec winced. "Yeah, yesterday was kinda pushing it, huh?"

 _"You were cutting it close_ ," Logan agreed soberly. _"Original Cindy knows about the headaches and what helps. I sent her a supply of tryptophan as a backup."_

"Must be nice to be rich," Alec said lightly. "Just pick up a month's stash whenever you feel like it where as I have to..." He clamped his mouth shut. 

_"If you ever need it, get it from me or Original Cindy."_ Logan inhaled deeply. The sound rumbled pleasantly in Alec's ear. _"Alec, I meant it last night. If ever...come find me."_

Warmth trickled down Alec's arms and legs, settled in his toes, the back of his neck, washed down his face. It felt like sunlight, fresh and untainted in the sky, caressing his face.

_"Alec?"_

"Yeah," Alec managed. "Thanks."

_"My door is always open."_

Alec pressed the receiver close enough he knew it'll leave an impression on his face.

"Don't you mean your _window_ is always open?" Alec joked weakly.

 _"If you're going to be technical about it..."_ Logan returned lightly. _"And no. You didn't."_

"What?"

_"You didn't make it weird last night."_

Logan apparently lost his nerve after that. He mumbled a farewell and hung up.

Alec stared at the phone in his hand for a long moment. He absently smoothed his thumb over the earpiece. Smiling to himself, Alec hung up as well. 

 

"Thanks. I think."

A day after Alec returned to work (Normal was surprisingly congenial despite Alec having taken a sick day), Sung had requested a messenger. He sent over the next meet scribbled in the back of the call slip; messily to look as if the detective was bored and doodling. 

The location was better this time: an abandoned train yard littered with the metal corpses of decommissioned railcars. Alec rewarded such good security habits with a present.

Detective Sung eyed the _present_ , aka hired thug, senseless inside his car trunk. He didn't look impressed with the giant bow on the guy's bristly double chin. Maybe it was because the guy's camos clashed with the satin red ribbon. 

The trunk lid _thumped_ shut.

"I'm touched. It's not even my birthday." 

"Hell, do you know how long it took me to tie that damn thing?"

Sung's mouth quirked. "Were you expecting a tip?"

" _Maybe_. How about telling me where you guys keep all your confiscated stuff?"

Sung pursed his lips with disapproval. "They're evidence."

Perched precariously on the last rung dangling off a fire escape, Alec pouted down at the detective.

"You're no fun."

"I'm not fun. I'm a detective." Sung deadpanned. He smiled, though.

"You're welcome, by the way," Alec quipped. He jumped off, landing neatly on his feet despite the twelve foot drop. Sung didn't blink.

"Guy was going to put this in your car." Alec tossed the shiny GPS tracker over. Sung caught it, already scowling before it landed in his hands.

"Damn."

Alec darkened. "Looks like someone suspects you and Logan have something to do with all those hacks this past week." He nudged the guy with the toe of his boot. "He didn't know anything. Got paid by a money drop and he was suppose to stick this tracker on you within forty eight hours." He nodded towards the tracker.

"That's military grade. Whoever it was, they have the tech or the money to buy the tech."

Sung's brow knitted together. "Doesn't narrow down the suspects," he muttered. 

At Alec's eyebrow, Sung shrugged. "We're looking into a few things simultaneously."

Alec pursed his lips. "Is that so?" he said evenly. "You two make it a habit to piss off more than one asshole at a time?"

"His boss _Eyes Only_ likes to keep Logan busy."

"I'll bet," Alec muttered. He jerked his chin to the trunk. "The guy won't talk but you can figure out something to keep him on ice. He was scared whoever hired him will find out he was a rat." He shrugged his shoulders. "Babbled they'll find him, no matter where he hides."

Sung exhaled. "Considering how many unlicensed weapons he was found with, I think I can find something to stick." He scratched his chin, looking faintly perturbed. 

"Whatever you guys are looking into, maybe give it a break for now," Alec murmured. He shoved his hands deep into his jacket's pockets. The back of his neck itched when his eyes glanced back to the trunk.

"Tell Logan you caught this guy following you," Alec suggested. "Tell him you think you guys should all stay put. He'll pass the word to _Eyes Only_."

Sung appeared indecisive, his brow furrowed in deep thought. He folded his arms as he considered the trunk. 

"I'm pretty sure," Alec went on, "if Logan thinks you guys have been compromised, he'll talk it over with _Eyes Only_. I'm pretty sure your boss wouldn't risk it."

Sung sighed. "It's a good sign though. It means we're getting close; whatever it was."

Geez, where the hell Logan finds them? They were all truth, justice, blah, blah, blah. They were Logan Cale clones, only not as cute. Although Sung wasn't ugly either.

Alec threw up his hands. "Whatever. Yay. Go team, except the bad guys aren't playing fair."

"They never do."

Alec felt a twinge in his chest as he added, "Those were really nice owls your little girl made. Be a shame if she can't make any more for you. Dead daddies can't receive gifts."

Sung flinched. Again, Alec refused to acknowledge the feeling behind his ribs. 

"There's nothing wrong with a strategic retreat," Alec continued. He dropped his voice. "It's only for now. Until you guys can figure out who's your secret admirer." He held his breath.

Sung stared hard at his car trunk. His shoulders dropped after a beat. With a sharp exhale, he nodded curtly.

"You made your point," Sung muttered. "I'll talk to Logan."

Guts loosening, Alec breathed out as well.

 

"Checkmate."

Alec grinned up from his cross-legged seat on the carpet. He tapped the surrounded white king on the chessboard between them on the coffee table.

"So that's what?" Alec patted his ebony queen. "Three out of four?"

"Five." Logan sat back into the couch. Of course he was keeping track. "It was four out of five and I only won one because you were busy with dinner."

Dinner, this time, was some sort of flaky pastry stuffed with medallions of real beef and spicy sausage. It was even better than the pasta Logan made yesterday. 

"I was trying to make the perfect bite," Alec argued as he set up the chessboard again. He shuffled closer to the coffee table, tucking his knees deeper underneath, close enough to brush against the cold toes he spied. The fleece blanket was rolled under Logan's back again and the fire in the fireplace had long died out.

"The perfect bite?" Logan repeated, bemused. He broke off a breadstick and idly dabbed it onto his plate. Scant pieces of beef Wellington dotted the surface.

Alec shook himself out of his reverie when he realized he was staring at Logan's mouth as he nibbled at the sauce soaked breadstick.

"Yeah," Alec stammered. A few white pawns clattered, refusing to stay upright. "The ratio of beef, crust and sausage stuffing with that gravy and those honeyed carrots in one fork."

Logan chuckled. "I'm surprised you were able to get it all in one bite like that."

Alec waggled his eyebrows. 

"Never mind." Logan cast his eyes ceiling ward. He sagged back into the couch, breadstick idle on his lap.

"Am I boring you?" Alec stole the rest of the breadstick.

"Never," Logan murmured distractingly.

Alec stopped mid-chew. "What?"

Logan roused. He sat up straighter. "Nothing. I..." He sighed.

"Sorry," Logan murmured. "I'm drifting." He flicked a gaze to his phone. "I guess I'm not used to being so...not busy." 

" _Eyes Only_ has been pretty quiet lately." Alec fixed his eyes on the chessboard. "I don't think you ever cooked for me three days in the row. Honey, I'm honored." He spread his arms wide and puckered up exaggeratedly.

A crouton from the spinach salad bounced off the middle of Alec's forehead.

Alec scoffed. He lowered his arms. "Seriously though. That's good, isn't it? Doesn't that mean the world is less screwed up now thanks to you?"

Logan shook his head. "No, I halted all investigations after Matt..."

Alec focused hard in arranging the board.

"After?" Alec asked casually. He didn't look up.

"Nothing. _Eyes Only_ is taking a break, that's all." Logan stared unseeingly out the window, past Alec's head.

"Wow, _Eyes Only_ provides vacation time, too? Where do I sign up?" Alec raised his hands at the half-lidded glower. "Kidding."

Alec sobered. "So why are you acting like it's the end of the world?" He looked down and spun the black bishop on its head. "We don't have to play chess, you know."

"No, it's not you." Logan pinched a spot between his eyes. "I prefer keeping busy. I..." He shrugged. "Sitting around means more time to think about things. Lots of things."

Alec averted his eyes as Logan absently rubbed his palms up and down his thighs, as if checking they were still there.

"It's why I like pulling off high rise jobs." Alec drew up a knee. He left the other knee bent and close to Logan's toes. "The higher the better. Then I gotta think about wind shear, line tension, weight distribution." And not about Amsterdam, Detroit, D.C., the Fifties, the Hundreds...

Alec dropped his chin on the coffee table. He stared, unfocused, on the line of pawns at parade rest, waiting to be sacrificed for the greater move. He tipped a black rook over.

"It's a distraction," Logan agreed colorlessly. "Something to keep your mind off things you shouldn't dwell on." He slipped both hands under his right leg and lifted, repositioning himself more comfortably. He grimaced but covered it quickly. 

"When you're busy, time moves quickly, but the moment you stop..."

Logan was reminiscent of the first time Alec met him, when he was still "Dean", when getting more tryptophan meant a seven day work week in his little corner of an alley. 

Alec rubbed the smooth wooden base of the king. " _I_ could distract you," he mumbled.

"Alec," Logan said, pained. "I'm not going to use you like that. No."

It stung. It hurt, right down to his fingers, yet there was still warmth blooming in Alec's chest that was hard to deny.

Alec smiled, his face cracking in the process.

"Uh, it's no big deal." Alec gestured towards the chessboard. "I already set it up."

Logan stared at Alec, speechless. 

"I mean, _you_ could set it up next round." Alec shrugged. He arched an eyebrow towards Logan. "What? _Oh_." 

Logan coughed. "Never mind..."

Alec cackled. "Hey, I'm more than happy to distract you _that_ way, Heather. We could play strip chess. Each gambit earns you the right to take an extra pie—Okay, okay!" He shot a flushed and scowling Logan a smirk. "Chess. Just chess. Fine."

Sighing, Logan considered Alec with a rueful smile. "Sorry."

Alec shrugged. He kept his smile pasted on.

"Hey, no big deal." Alec's eyebrows went up and down as he peered down on himself.

"Well..."

Logan's stern look invited Alec to lick it off him. Alec politely declined by moving his pawn forward instead.

Wary cloudy green eyes studied Alec. He kept his face down, looking fascinated with the game and not at all thinking about Logan's toes. He had tucked the cool foot under his calf for heat. Logan hadn't notice. Alec carefully herded Logan's other foot into the well of his crossed legs. The skin felt cool now instead of ice cold.

After a beat, Logan's shoulders relaxed. He shook his head, his mouth turned up at the corners. He reached over to his white pawn.

"...How about strip poker?"

"Alec!"

 

"He's busy."

Alec blinked. Original Cindy came out of nowhere to help Alec decline Herbal's invite to _Crash_. Not that Alec felt like going. Even after a week, he was still feeling too lethargic to enjoy hustling Sketchy and Pion in pool, but hey, what the hell?

Herbal nodded jovially before heading towards Normal's bellow.

Alec turned to Cindy. 

" _I'm busy_?" Alec repeated. He made a face into his locker. "Since when did I get a social secretary?"

Cindy opted for beads today and they clacked when she tilted her head. She folded her arms as she considered Alec.

Alec edged back before Cindy used his head for target practice again. 

"What?" Alec asked warily.

"You know I delivered an envelope to Logan this morning?"

Alec smiled brightly. "Did you?"

Cindy leaned into his locker, forestalling Alec from sticking his head into it to...whatever.

"Did you look inside it?"

Alec shook his head as he rummaged inside his locker for his gloves. Oh, right; he's wearing them. 

"No. Nope. Of course not. Private, man."

"Um hm."

Alec placed a hand on his chest. He opened his eyes as wide as he could. "Would I do that? Isn't that like breaking some messenger honor code? Normal would weep."

Dark eyes looked at him shrewdly. "Heard someone might be checking out what's going on over at that address in it."

Original Cindy poked Alec on the shoulder. Alec rocked back, mortally wounded although Cindy looked unimpressed.

Alec grinned, unabashed. "Yeah?"

Cindy shrugged. "Original Cindy's no rat but a little bird may have found out about something hinky maybe going down tonight at Fifty four Henry—"

"Fifty one," Alec corrected. He grinned cheekily at her. "Sorry, pretty bird. Chirp away."

Cindy glowered. "Nothing to sing about. Men are fools and I think one fool might be checking it out solo to see what they're playing."

Alec's smile faded. "Solo, huh?" 

The locker rattled when Alec slammed the door. He darkened. So much for taking a break. "Tonight?"

"So the nightingale sings." Cindy waved a hand in the air. "But what do I know about birds? Original Cindy is just a messenger."

"I think you're the prettiest bird around!" Alec called after her. Cindy glared at him when catcalls whistled out in agreement. He smirked at her.

"Get back to work!" Normal hollered. "Weet Street! Hot run!"

Alec looked at his watch. His smile faded.

 

It wasn't hard to spot the car despite the broken street lamps. Alec saw the dusty blue gray hatchback parked two blocks away, behind a dumpster, huddled between two of the numerous condemned tenement buildings waiting for their turn to collapse. No light, blocked by the large dumpster, the vehicle was barely visible. Only the glint of a telephoto lens gave him away.

It wasn't funny how Logan jumped, caught off guard when Alec rapped on the driver's side window.

"Howdy." Alec held up a bag. "Somebody ordered eggrolls?"

The window rolled down.

"What are you doing here?" Logan hissed; his chest heaved from the near miss. He didn't even have his gun pulled out. "Don't get in the ca—Alec!"

Alec popped the lock with his blade. He slipped into the front passenger side. The greasy takeout bag plopped onto the gears console.

"I was in the neighborhood—"

Logan narrowed his eyes. "I asked you not to follow me anymore."

"I didn't! I came here straight from work!"

Logan groaned. "Original Cindy."

"Nope, a _really_ pretty bird told me." Alec shook the bag to count the bottom. Cheap bastards stiffed him on the duck sauce. 

"Alec."

Alec raised his hands. "Look, I was just going to swing by, check things out, see if there was anything interesting worth taking when I was blinded by the reflection off your telephoto lens." 

"I'm over a hundred fifty meters away."

"Hey, X-5 here! Night vision! That was blinding!" Alec shielded his eyes with a hand. "It's a miracle my retinas weren't burned off, although if you saw what the fat geezer on the second floor was doing, there's still a chance—"

"You shouldn't be here."

Alec shrugged. "Hey, there are lots of places I shouldn't be at, but that never stopped me before." He dug his hand into the bag. He fished out a greasy takeout carton. 

"Egg roll?" 

At Logan's glower, Alec rolled his eyes. He pulled out a chicken egg roll. He crunched it loudly.

"So what are we watching?" Alec wiggled his ass deeper into the seat. 

Logan's mouth thinned as he pulled up the camera to his eye. 

" _I'm_ watching a suspected pornography ring."

Alec perked up. " _Cool._ "

"The people they're using owe them thousands of dollars in exchange for a visa out of here. No money, they're forced into the sex industry to pay off their debts."

Alec stopped chewing. He scowled. Okay, not cool. He gave Logan a sideways glance.

"Don't you have people to do this for you? You know; your informant _network_?"

Logan peered intently through his camera, frowned at what he saw and took a picture. "Too risky."

Alec pursed his lips. "Too risky?" He darkened at Logan's absentminded nod behind the lens. He tossed his half-eaten eggroll into the carton. "I don't bel—" Something catches his eye at the edges. A passing beam of light.

"Shit."

Logan lowered the camera slowly. 

"I see him," Logan said calmly. He flicked a narrow glance to the rear view mirror. "They've been making rounds the past few days with more frequency. It's why I thought something was going to happen soon."

"So you thought it was a good idea to park here for them to see," Alec bit out.

"They never ventured this far out before." Logan lowered the camera and carefully pushed it between the seats to drop it into the backseat well. "Something must have happened."

"Yeah," Alec grated. "A car parked under their window."

"I'm—"

" _Excuse_ me, sort of, kind of, under their window." Alec scrutinized the mirror.

"Guy's fifty meters away. He'll spot us in eight. Ten if he has perfect vision."

Logan's mouth thinned, his eyes fixed on the tiny thread of light coming closer. 

Forty six meters.

Alec curled a fist. Knuckles popped.

"I can take him out."

Logan's hand on the hand lever for the gas dropped. "Too risky."

"So is him getting closer." Alec squinted in front of him. 

Forty two meters.

"No good," Logan said, clipped. "That road goes right up to the building. They'll see us coming."

Thirty nine meters.

Alec clenched his teeth. "Look. I get out, up the fire escape, drop in on the guy from behind. Before he radios in his buddies, I'll—" His mouth soured when he realized there were a lot of options of what he can do. His skin shrank around him.

Logan gave Alec a look. His eyes zipped back front. "No."

Thirty four meters.

Blood pounded in Alec's ears.

"I can do it." Alec's toes curled inside his boots. "Wouldn't be the first time."

"No." Logan's hand drifted to the gas lever. A muscle in his jaw jumped. "I'll back into him as soon as he's close enough."

The terseness in Logan's voice put Alec's teeth on edge. "You sure?"

Logan's knuckles were white, almost luminescent in the dark. "No other option."

Twenty eight meters.

"There may be one other option," Alec muttered. He swallowed hard. 

Twenty five meters. 

Alec sensed Logan glancing his way out of the corner of his eye. His mouth went abruptly dry. "But you won't like it." 

Twenty meters. The faraway shadow paused. The light faltered, catching the rear windshield's gleam.

"Is your lower back bothering you today?" Alec asked abruptly.

Startled, Logan looked away from the mirror. "How did you kno—mmpf!"

Alec cranked back the driver's seat, slipped a hand under the slope of Logan's lower back and straddled him in one swift move. He ignored Logan's startled yelp as he slouched low to his ear.

"What are you doing?" Any other time but this, Logan's high pitched tone would have been hilarious.

"Helping you to avoid committing vehicular homicide," Alec muttered. "Just go with it."

"Go with wha— _Alec_!" 

Alec shrugged out of his jacket and t-shirt. He popped open his jeans with a crooked finger. He clapped a hand muffling Logan's "Alec!"

"Listen. Someone's coming from behind the car. Twenty meters. With a flashlight," hissed Alec. "He's spotted this car, he'll see us in another three meters, come closer to check and radio for backup if he just sees us sitting in here, twiddling our thumbs." 

Alec leaned in, his bare torso pressing into the inert one underneath him. "You had to park with only two escape routes, both visible high up and on ground." He rested his forehead against Logan's. "He's going to come closer in about ten seconds. We gotta make it look convincing enough for him to back off."

Logan tensed, alert despite the serious freakout Alec was sure he was about to have. He stared up to Alec, mouth still covered, his breathing ragged.

"How are we supposed to make _this_ look convincing?" Logan whispered. He craned his neck to look at the rearview mirror past Alec's shoulder. His hand tightened on Alec's shoulder. 

Alec didn't look. He didn't need to. Logan's terse expression was enough. He dipped his head, his lips brushing over Logan's ear.

"We have to at least look like we're enjoying ourselves," Alec hushed, "Not like you're about to strangle me."

Logan's gnarled grip loosened. His breath steadied.

"Get my shirt off."

Alec gaped. "What?"

Logan arched an eyebrow up at Alec. "It'll be more convincing if it looks like we're both participating."

Alec's fingers stuttered over Logan's henley. The soft cotton felt fragile under his touch. 

"Alec," Logan hissed. He stared at the mirror.

The shirt ripped too easily in Alec's hands.

Logan shuddered, from the chill, from the exposure, it wasn't clear. He narrowed his eyes at Alec.

"I was thinking helping me pull it over my head."

"Oops," Alec breathed. The beam of light widened, skirting the car. Damn it.

"Sorry," Alec whispered. It was the only thing he could offer before he grabbed Logan's hands, clamped them over his butt before diving into his mouth.

There was a brief struggle, chest heaving when Alec leaned his weight into Logan. His mouth sealed over Logan's, not pulling away in case Logan started yelling or shouting in a I'm-not-making-out sort of way.

 _This is a Hundred. Little hand work, little biting_ , Alec thought as he carefully carded his fingers through Logan's hair. His tongue darted in, swiped over Logan's, tasting, inviting him to taste.

Alec withdrew, his lips lingering over Logan's mouth. He couldn't meet Logan's gaze, but he could feel it searing his skin.

"I'm sorry," Alec whispered. He brushed a hand over Logan's head. The spiky hair felt too cool to the touch. He rubbed a small circle into the scalp, behind the ear.

A light passed through, filling the car with an unnatural brightness. With a jerk, the beam of light oscillated wildly within the car. Its beam temporarily lit the top of Alec's head. The figure paused. The light lingered.

"No good," Alec murmured. He arched his back and dropped his head. He grabbed a fistful of denim and yanked down. He snagged Logan's hands and clamped them over his buttocks.

"What are you doing?" Logan barely kept his voice low.

The cool night air dug into Alec's bare ass like icy fingers, pricking and cutting. 

"It's okay," Alec breathed. He pretended to throw his head back in the guise of locating the nearing guard. "We're good. It's fine."

Logan was stiff underneath Alec, hands almost clawlike on Alec's ass. He looked owlish pinned in-between Alec's knees.

"It's fine," Alec murmured as he sagged into Logan's space. He settled a palm over Logan's face. The skin felt chilled.

"Trust me," Alec whispered into Logan's ear. He darted a look up. Ten meters. "Just keep doing what you're doing. It's okay." Alec mouthed a soft earlobe, laving it, catching it between his lips. He tugged the short strands in his grip as he arched into Logan's abdomen.

Logan relaxed his hands. His large hands, dry and hot, lingered on the curve of Alec's buttocks, as if weighing the shape. Tentatively, he gave one cheek a caress. 

Alec closed his eyes briefly. He tipped his head forward, their noses brushing against each other. 

Logan's head moved minutely and their lips met. They parted with a gasp after the brief contact. 

Footsteps grew louder.

Alec dipped his head. He groaned into Logan's mouth.

Fingers, callused and smooth, skimmed Alec's skin, searching. Sparks ignited where Logan touched.

"Right there," Alec encouraged. "That's good. You're doing fine."

Alec rolled his hips, pelvis shifting until Logan's fingers brushed past his hole. Logan's hands jerked, about to withdraw.

Another beam of light, a wider light, glided over the bumper. 

"No, come on." Alec pressed into Logan's chest, his cock trapped between their bodies. He rocked into Logan, his hands now curled on Logan's shoulders.

Tentative hands curved over his ass again.

Alec groaned and it was only louder so the other guy could hear. His head hung low as he rolled his hips forward again, his cock now flushed and leaking, grinding into Logan's flat stomach. He could hear Logan's breath quickening under him, the waistband of his jeans gaped wide. The button popped open, but it wasn't clear who had done it. Neither faltered as hands explored, touched, mapped the firm topographies growing slick with sweat.

Logan's hands dropped to curl into the fold between his ass and the back of his thighs, fingers shakily moving up—

"Hey, you guys!" Someone shouted. Blue tinged light flooded the car. A fist pounded on the car roof. "Get a fucking room!"

"At what they charge?" Alec bellowed. 

The light erratically zipped left and right over them. Alec dove for Logan's mouth again, covering both their faces. Logan was trembling underneath him. Alec moved his hands down sinewy arms. He gave the biceps a squeeze, rubbed up against Logan, his dick hot and trapped between their bellies.

"Crap, he's still there," Alec whispered as he brushed his mouth against Logan's ear.

"What's he doing?" Logan sounded breathy and shit, that was doing things Alec can't enjoy right now.

Alec threw back his head, moaned loudly and it was easier to pretend when Logan's left hand began drifting down to his front. And the shudder Alec gave was only half pretend when Logan's knuckles tentatively brushed over the length of his rising cock.

There was nothing more Alec wanted to do than hump against the hard torso trapped between his thighs. Logan's cock, trapped under cotton, brushed against Alec as he moved. The briefs rode down, exposing Logan's crotch.

Logan's breath stuttered. His hands curled and uncurled over Alec's hips.

"I got you," Alec murmured against Logan's cheek. He felt the limp cock lolling between them, sluggishly filling as Alec's hips snapped forward.

There was nothing more Alec wanted to than smash into that lush mouth again, run his hands down the strong back he's seen stretching worn sweatshirts and ratty tops. But instead, under the guise of passion, he zeroed past the dark, past the mist of Seattle's ever present drizzle and—oh.

Alec ducked his head, wiggled against Logan and interestingly enough, Logan shuddered on contact. He could feel Logan's stomach sinking in a sharp inhale, his hand now curved around Alec's thigh.

"I uh, think he's radioing someone," Alec murmured into Logan's ear. He swallowed convulsively at the sensation of Logan breathing hard against him. He could feel the nipples against his palms. Alec stole another look over his head and yup, the perv still has his hand down his trousers, gasping like an asthmatic, his radio set aside forgotten on one of the trash bins.

"What?" Logan tensed underneath him and damn, wrong time, wrong place.

"He's telling them all clear," Alec said hurriedly. "Want me to take him out?"

Shaking his head, Logan looked indecisive. "I don't want to alert the others."

Alec pressed the side of his head against Logan. "I won't let him. I'm fast."

Logan shook his head. "I don't want you exposing yourself."

Alec stilled. He smirked. He knew Logan could feel his mouth curving against his rough cheek. 

"Uh...I think it's a little too late for that, Heather."

There was a pregnant pause as it sank in. Logan huffed, his head lolling to lean against Alec's. "Oh."

Muffled laughter in the car. Alec hoped the perv figured they were just having fun.

Tentatively, Logan settled his hands on Alec's hips, low where the jeans were shoved down. 

Alec nosed the stray strands of hair behind Logan's ear. There was the faint scent of almonds again.

"He's still there?" whispered Logan.

Alec took a deep breath. There was also the vague salty tang of sweat in the air. Somehow the combination was...interesting. He smoothed palms over Logan's chest, his hands shaping breathing pottery, his thumbs tracing the muscles stretched over the trim torso. The crisp short chest hair felt both sharp and soft. He gently scratched blunt nails over the dark hairs, felt the skin underneath goose pimpled.

"Alec..."

"Sh," Alec murmured. "I got you. We're good. You're good. God, Logan, you're..."

Large callused hands, rough from keyboarding and the wheelchair, went up higher, thumbs cautiously brushing against skin where his thigh and groin meet. Little strokes, as if checking whether something would bite back.

Groaning, Alec moved to drop open-mouthed kisses on the strong slope of a collarbone. He lingered over a spot that felt uneven, imperfect, flawed; it was broken maybe ten, fifteen years ago. Even though the bone was obviously healed, Alec kissed the shadow of pain, the tiny imperfection. His tongue laved it, leaving the skin damp.

Underneath Alec, Logan's breath caught.

Sweat, almonds, musk swirled above Alec's head. In the back of his mind, he told himself to keep watch; there was that damn guard out there with his radio, his flashlight and the .37 he ineptly tucked in his front waist band.

But another part of him, a louder part of him, was screaming that this guy was watching, watching _Logan_ , could see him laid out on the driver's seat. The bastard saw what Alec saw: shirt ripped apart, exposed chest heaving, strong shoulders bare and oddly vulnerable in the dark, hair tousled, pupils overblown and green and gold and dark and...

Alec abruptly ground his cock against the body underneath, pre-cum marking the body as his and his alone. His arms looped breathlessly tight around a startled Logan. He breathed in Logan's scent, tasted the salty sweetness of the skin on the slope of his neck. His erection stood painfully heavy between his legs, trapped between them, caressed by the dark hairs that pointed to the other's groin.

Logan's hands were pinned between them, one hand close to Alec's dick. He breathed shallowly into Alec's ear. His body felt hot against Alec. 

A beam of light cut across the dark. Alec came to his senses and started to pull away.

This time, Logan tugged Alec back, perhaps harder than he estimated because he exhaled a soft "Oof" when Alec crashed over him. They stared at each other, chests moving against another, legs tangled. Alec suddenly found himself at a loss for words.

Another beam oscillated left and right through their car.

"Damn it," Alec muttered. He fidgeted. He should slip out and disarm the bastard fast. Maybe fast enough; the guy wouldn't have time to reach for his radio.

Logan slipped a hand over the small of Alec's back, stopping him. He shook his head, pushed until Alec was on top of him again, chest to chest. 

By now, Alec could feel pre-cum coating Logan's stomach. Logan's cock was still in the nest of dark curls and fragile against the bottom curve of Alec's ass. But when Alec shifted closer, to cover more of Logan, he felt the man under him shiver.

"Sh," Alec murmured. "I got you." He traced the line of that imperfect clavicle with his mouth. He arched until his cock rubbed up the profile of Logan's firm abdomen. He felt shaky hands back on his hips again, this time on flesh. Alec rocked against the body he straddled.

Logan's hand hesitantly inched towards Alec's cock, hot and swollen against his belly. The hand jerked back when Alec tried to press closer to that hand. Then emboldened by Alec's whispered encouragement, tapered long fingers wrapped around the length.

Alec groaned. He dropped his head onto Logan's shoulder as that hand began to pump. Small frustrating pulls that only left Alec wanting more. His hips jerked forward, tried to fuck that loose fist, but it was like a shy animal. That hand kept twitching like it wanted to flee.

"Come on," Alec mumbled, "don't tease. Give it to me." He trapped a soft lobe between his teeth and tugged.

The hand curled into a tighter fist.

Alec's tongue darted into Logan's ear.

A fevered haze settled over Alec's memory. He remembered rocking eagerly into that fist, calluses scraping over sensitized flesh. He remembered laving Logan's nipples, teeth alternating with tongue until they hardened in his mouth. Alec pressed thumbs around those hard nubs, massaging the areas over and over. 

His hands wandered to slip underneath Logan so he could grind against that hard body, his mouth crashing into the other's, teeth worrying that swollen pink lower lip, nipping at that long throat. His hips snapped into Logan's fist; a firmer grip now, almost too tight yet not tight enough. Those hands, rough with work, large and capable; one around his dick and the other drawing tantalizing circles on his bare flank.

There was a point, at the edge of Alec's peripheral vision, when he realized the guard was gone. But the sensation of Logan's hand around him, Logan's torso arching up as he placed bruising kisses on Alec's pecs, took over. Alec dazedly recalled the driver's seat angling impossibly further back as he ground against Logan. Alec covered Logan's body from prying, undeserving eyes. He fucked into Logan's fist, imagining slamming into Logan just as hard, just as fast until they both—

With a garbled cry, Logan's head threw back. He shuddered. 

White flared behind Alec's eyes as he came, hard and messily all over Logan's stomach and fist. He felt dizzy, as dizzy he ever thought an X-5's genes would allow. Gasping, he collapsed onto Logan.

The car reeked of semen and sweat. Alec could feel Logan shaking in the aftermath of his own orgasm, but Alec could also feel Logan's cock, only half hard, already softening.

Words caught in his throat, Alec drew Logan's head to his chest. He kissed the top of that sweat soaked head over and over until the shudders subsided. 

Logan settled his hands, one still sticky with cum, on Alec's arms. They laid there breathing hard in the dark, lit only by the feeble blue light of faraway dying streetlamps.

Alec dropped another kiss on top of Logan's head. Automatically, he squinted through the rear windshield.

Shoulders relaxing, Alec sighed. "The guy's gone."

Logan's hands dropped from Alec's arms. 

Alec mentally gave himself a kick in the head. "I mean—"

"We should go," croaked Logan. He feebly pushed until Alec swung off him and settled back into the passenger seat. 

Logan didn't look at Alec as he cranked his seat back upright. He fumbled with the remains of his shirt. His ears pinked when he realized the top was unsalvageable. His hands shook as he redid the top of his jeans instead.

Alec did the same, eyes avoiding the other, choking on a lump in his throat that kept growing and growing the longer silence hung between them. He kept opening and closing his mouth but the words, the jokes wouldn't come out. What was the point when the guy wouldn't even look his way?

"Logan..."

Logan shook his head jerkily. Alec's mouth snapped shut.

The car rumbled underneath them. Without another word, Logan drove them out of the alley. Alec slumped down in his seat, not really watching the road; that lump in his throat just wouldn't quit.

And all throughout, the salty greasy smell of eggrolls followed them back to Logan's place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next longer chapter on Saturday, November 1. Duty calls in wrangling candy apples and cupcakes for trick-or-treaters. Groan...I need the extra time to recover. LOL.


	15. Chapter 15

"It was probably your fault."

Alec glowered over his warm beer at Original Cindy. "What?"

This week, Original Cindy decided to go with straight hair—something she thought was hilarious—and the reddish mahogany beads at the ends clacked when she shrugged one shoulder.

"You moping here all by yourself the past few days when you could be enjoying your favorite pastime: ripping off Sketchy of his hard earned money over there by the pool tables." Cindy sat down, pulled his bowl of peanuts to her and smirked at Alec's glower. "Whatever's got you long on the face, Original Cindy is pretty sure it was your fault."

"But why?" Alec blamed _Crash's_ poor acoustics for the whine quality in his voice. 

Cindy rolled her eyes. "You're a ma— _boy_ ," she corrected, "so of course, it's your fault."

There wasn't a witty comeback Alec could think of. He stared down at his beer and for the thirtieth time tonight, he wished he could get drunk.

Shoulders sagging, Alec dropped his chin on the table.

"It just came out," Alec mumbled.

Original Cindy slapped the back of his head.

"Ow! Not _that_!" Alec cupped the back of his head. At least, Cindy avoided the bandage on his nape. He narrowed his eyes at her, but damn it, his face must have been bad because she next patted his head.

"All right, sugar. Tell Original Cindy what came out."

Alec hesitated. 

Original Cindy scoffed. "Logan."

"I didn't say anything!" Alec scrutinized her; maybe she was transgenic after all.

"Original Cindy knows the affairs of the heart." Cindy waved off his scrutiny. "You been dragging your feet around _Jam Pony_ since that nig—" Cindy's eyes widened.

And Cindy smacked the back of his head again.

This time, Alec's head did rock forward. He cradled his throbbing skull.

"What the hell?"

"What did you do?" Cindy demanded.

"Who said I did anythin— _Okay_! Put the hand down, geez..."

Ears ringing, face may or may not flushing, Alec told her. More or less. Minus details like how he came so hard, his come splattered Logan's chin. Or how he desperately wanted to fuck Logan when he bucked up, gasping breathlessly as he came. Or how Alec wanted to keep fucking into that body, still singing from his orgasm, thrusting over and over until Logan came for a second time. Or how Alec wanted to hold him, until the guard left, until their hearts calm, until the fractures under Logan's skin melted whole again.

Alec's mouth went dry. Yeah, he left out some details. It was enough for Original Cindy though. 

This time, Alec was able to duck the third slap.

"Damn," Cindy commented as she stole another peanut from his bowl. "Weren't you supposed to be bright?"

Alec glowered at her: for comment and for his decimated peanut bowl. 

"I was just telling him the coast was clear!"

"And he probably thought your lap dance was only for show." Cindy slanted a look at him. "And when you got back?"

"He said he needed to get his next hack ready so I left hi— _stop hitting me_!" Alec's stool scraped back a few inches to get out of target range. 

"This is why," Cindy muttered, "I play for my team. Original Cindy has no time for the foolishness of man." She shook her head, beads dancing in her hair. "So you ditched him thinking all that and that was, what? Three days ago?"

Alec eyed her hand warily. "More or less." His shoulders slumped. Suddenly, it didn't matter if she hit him again or not. "Did I mention how awkward it was? The guy invented dead silence."

Cindy sighed. She looked around the bar before leaning across the small table. 

Alec dropped his eyes. He should have turned down Herbal's offer to buy him a beer to cheer him up.

"Is that why he's not been..." Cindy nodded towards the television hung above the counter.

Alec shrugged again. "Sung and him were supposed to stay low. In case someone's been following them." He was getting that creepy crawly skin sensation himself lately. "Can't rat on the bad guys if you don't find the dirt."

Dark eyes skewered the top of Alec's head. "Are you still following him?"

"No!...Maybe...All right, sometimes." Alec ignored Cindy's knowing look. "And I wasn't following him before. I was doing Sung a favor." Or five. But even Sung has been quiet. "It's been slow though. I've even been showing up to work. On time, for three days so far."

"Normal's been ecstatic. He's about to get down on his knees."

"Ew." Alec exhaled. "Look. It's better this way, right? He wanted me to back off. It's what he wants. Besides, his Holiness is way too high maintenance."

"Uh huh."

"Everything's an emotional landmine with him."

Cindy hummed.

"I mean, seriously, he's all gloom doom. It kills the appetite, you know?"

"Sure."

Alec glowered. "Stop that."

"What?"

"That 'oh, you poor baby' face thing you have going on there."

Cindy smiled smugly. She popped a peanut into her mouth. "Call him."

"What? No." Alec balked. "That's not our thing."

"Our _thing_?" Cindy repeated. "Original Cindy is afraid to ask: but what is your _thing_?" 

_Breaking into my window_ , Alec thought but kept to himself. "We're not the 'you hang up, no, you hang up first' kind of people."

"Unbelievable," Cindy muttered. Abruptly, she rose to her feet. She _took his bowl_ and stomped away.

"That's it?" Alec called after her fine backside. "No advice? Not even _sympathy sex_?"

A peanut bounced off his nose. For an unenhanced, Original Cindy can be pretty deadly.

 

"Here."

Alec caught the projectile before he registered what flew his way. His bike squealed to a halt, his kickstand dropped simultaneously as his fist went up and curled around the object. The itchy feeling on his back intensified. He tensed towards the possible threat. He glanced down at what was in his grasp.

And blinked.

Alec stared stupidly at a ceramic purple owl the size of his thumb. The eyes were round white circles, dotted with what looked like red nail polish. The eyes didn't match; one was bigger than the other. It made the owl look drunk.

Matt Sung leaned next to the bike rack the messengers used (if no one stole it the night before, that is). He didn't have his long coat today. He opted for a lighter weight gray suit for the warming spring. The tie was still the same though: a worn silk navy piece with silvery stripes.

"You said you liked the purple one," Sung said by way of greeting. "Thought you might like to have it." At Alec's raised eyebrow, he shrugged. "As a thank you."

"Thank you?" Alec examined the figurine. It felt hollow, the white clay in some spots littered with impurities. This was clay someone had scooped out from some dump and carefully kneaded for reuse.

"For Fifty one Henry."

Alec stiffened.

"What about Fifty one Henry?" Alec asked casually as he held up the owl. He inspected it with the same scrutiny as he did to the gemstone he _liberated_ from the sixth floor of an illegal diamond exchange. The figurine's paint was imperfect. In some spots, there was barely any glaze at all. 

Sung scowled. "Logan deciding it was a good idea to stake out the Russian mafia and their pornography ring."

Alec scowled. "He didn't say anything about the Russian mafia." 

Sung shrugged.

Alec's frown deepened. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"He sent over the pictures he took, asked if I could ID them, and then, oh by the way, mentioned he had gone on a stake out _alone_ despite his boss agreeing we should back off a bit." Sung's mouth twisted. "Oh, and that all of the sudden, you showed up."

Sung said it deliberately casually, as if commenting on the weather, yet his eyes studied Alec, wondering if he was a bad dollar bill or not.

Alec nodded. "Sounds about right." His throat tightened further. "Anything else he said or didn't say?"

Shrewd eyes bore through Alec. "Should there be?"

Words stuck in his throat, Alec shook his head.

"Logan asked if I had sent you over there."

"Heard he was being a bad boy, running off solo and thought I would bring some dinner over to keep him company. That's all."

"I see."

Around them, messengers were riding in, reporting for the butt-early shift. Out of the corner of his eye, Alec spied Sketchy and Herbal squinting suspiciously at Sung from afar.

"He said the patrols were happening more and more frequently." Alec brushed a thumb over the owl. It was kind of cool, in a cross-eyed, psychotic sort of way. "His boss thinks something's going to happen pretty soon." He tucked the ceramic into the sewn compartment where he kept his money roll inside the messenger bag. 

"You know, it might have something to do with your secret admirer," Alec recalled. "How is Ugly by the way? My fist and his face probably missed each other."

"He's dead."

Alec stared. "What?"

Sung darkened. "He made bail—"

"You mean he bribed someone," Alec muttered under his breath.

Sung cleared his throat. "Bail was posted high, but he made bail anyway. One day later, there was a 911 call. We found him shot up in his apartment." The detective frowned.

"He was on the eleventh floor, no signs of forced entry, locked from the inside."

"Let me guess? No witnesses?"

"People heard gunfire but no one saw anyone running out of there immediately."

Alec bit his lower lip. "You got an address?"

Sung bloomed into a smirk. "It's in the owl."

 

Marco Polo—seriously, that was the guy's tag, what the hell—lived in sector nine, in a narrow concrete colored building that once dreamt it could be a luxury hotel. Then the Pulse came. It wiped out everybody's money and the tourism industry. The little-hotel-that-could became a three Gs a month pit for the depression's citizens.

It kind of reminded Alec of his last, no, third to last, dump. 

Little hungry eyes watched behind crookedly boarded up doors as Alec went down the hall. The yellow crime scene tape was already gone. He had seen a suspiciously yellow clothesline full of clothing flapping between two windows on the ninth floor. Whatever. Polo was a deadbeat thug, paid to do a plant job, fucked it up and got paid his bonus in .37 millimeter bullets. Thirty one to be exact. Ouch.

With each step towards the apartment, the weirder it got. Alec wasn't used to examining crime scenes. He was used to _creating_ crime scenes. No wait, he usually _avoided_ making crime scenes. He was Manticore's invisible robot. No trace evidence. 

Alec brushed a hand on the plywood board used to double as a door. The unit number's spray painted "766" was crossed out. Crossbones branded it below. Classy.

With a grunt, Alec splayed his hand over it. He paused.

The door was lopsided, set back within the doorframe from the inside. On the ground, there was a faint smudged tread mark and another one running parallel to it.

Alec closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. 

And knocked.

There was no answer, but Alec could feel the air thicken around him and behind the door. He rapped his knuckles on the wood again.

"Come in, Matt," Logan finally sighed from within. "Before you say anything, the place was already like this when I—oh."

Alec shoved his hands into his pockets. Stupid Sung and his stupid owl. 

"I uh, heard there was an apartment for rent?" Alec joked weakly. "I'm here for the open house?"

Logan sat in the middle of a ransacked room, wooden pallets that were once makeshift furniture now simply pieces of firewood that surrounded the white body outline like a fence. He was dressed in his navy henley again with a white long sleeve underneath. The sleeves were rolled up to reveal the curve of a bicep. No jacket, but one of Mrs. Moreno's knitted scarves wound around Logan's neck.

Even with the scarf, Alec saw Logan's throat working.

"Hey."

Alec smiled faintly. "Hey, yourself." He shrugged and gestured to himself then the apartment. "I can explain..."

"Matt sent you."

Alec recovered from his surprise. "Asked me to take a look at the crime scene." At Logan's furrowed eyebrow, Alec added, "The guy was killed way up here, no witnesses. Pretty bizarre scene. He ah, thought I might have an idea." He shrugged and patted his messenger bag.

"I mean, he gave me an owl."

"What?"

"Nothing." Alec veered around Logan. He could feel Logan tracking him as he circled the perimeter. 

"Looks like someone already got here first. Police?" 

"Not likely." Logan recovered from his shock. His chair turned a full circle as Logan considered the scene. Glass from shattered light bulbs crunched underneath.

"I found fingerprinting powder under some things."

Alec grunted approvingly. "So the place got tossed _after_ the cops. Terrific." He exhaled. 

"Guess finding a hidden stash here is pretty much a no then."

"At least you have your owl," Logan said wryly. But when Alec grinned at him, his eyes slid away.

Alec's smile faded. He squared back his shoulders. He screwed up his face and looked around one more time.

Behind Alec, Logan turned to examine the opposite wall. He pulled out his camera from the bag he slung behind his chair.

Quiet shutter clicks filled the silence until Logan cleared his throat. 

Alec froze.

"Uh..." Logan exhaled slowly. "So...how are you?"

Alec didn't turn around. He could sense Logan to the back of him, not looking his way either.

"Me? Great," Alec said. He made a face; he sounded like an idiot. "You, er, you doing okay?"

"Of course." More camera clicks. "Your neck?"

"Good. Not scabbing, I mean. I got maybe three weeks. Better than I thought. I...how's, um, Mrs. Moreno?"

"Fine. She's been asking about you."

"Yeah? Cool. She still watching hockey?"

"Hockey season's over."

"Oh. Right. Forgot. Yeah, season's over." 

Alec's throat started to ache; it physically hurt to force out whatever question he could think of in order to fill the silence.

"So, ah...I heard you were taking a break from the superhero stuff for now."

Logan's camera silenced.

Alec laughed awkwardly. "I mean...This doesn't look like much of a vacation spot."

"I'm not much of a flyer," Logan said dryly. He coughed. "I was planning to. Originally. To take a break, I mean, but something happened, something I thought needed to be checked out right away."

Alec glanced around the room. "Some guy gets ventilated eleven stories up unseen piqued your interest? Why?"

Logan said nothing. His wheelchair groaned a little as he pivoted around to study the pile of broken furniture legs next to Alec.

Alec gnashed his teeth, but dropped it. He instead, picked up what looked like a broken plate. He glared at it, but it wasn't telling him anything. He grunted and tossed the piece. It shattered too loudly on the floor. 

"I give up. I don't know what I'm looking for," Alec complained. "Bed bugs?"

Logan's mouth twitched. He looked away. His head tilted as the windows caught his attention.

"What?"

"All the windows looked like they were recently boarded up." Logan pursed his lips. "Except for that one."

There was too much junk under the open window; Logan couldn't get close enough. His set jaw betrayed how he felt about that.

Wordlessly, Alec clamored over to the window. A breeze ruffled his short bangs. Someone below was making stew. It also smelled like it was going to rain.

Alec squinted at the frame. He plucked at the splinters pinned under rusty nails. He backtracked and looked around his feet.

"There used to be a board there," Logan guessed as Alec combed the debris. 

Alec crouched by the shattered pallets, the fractured wooden boards.

"I think most were picked clean," Alec determined. "The pieces left don't add up."

Logan sighed. "Not surprising. The moment the body was pulled out, everything worth anything was grabbed."

"That board's probably warming up someone's dump right now." Alec gingerly plucked out a long splinter, as thick as his finger. "Same wood as the ones on the windows."

"Whatever did this broke it from the outside." 

Alec's mouth pressed thin. "Or _whoever_."

"You're thinking Manticore?" Logan asked quietly.

His stomach churned. The walls loomed over Alec. It was suddenly far too dark, they were far too high up here, the one window that wasn't boarded was screaming like a locked target beacon.

Logan studied the ground. "Police already took ballistics. They recovered almost a hundred rounds."

Alec took a steadying breath before he turned around. "Sounds about right for obliterating the board. It's particle board. Hell, it'll disintegrate with a hard kick."

"So someone hung outside this window, waited for Polo and fired almost a hundred rounds into the window?" Logan's mouth twisted. "With an assault rifle?"

"Most likely two," Alec muttered. "No way to expend that many bullets that fast with one."

"Alec, the recoil of one rifle, much less, two—"

"We can do it," Alec cut in, harsher than he meant to. Logan appeared taken aback. Alec closed his eyes and sucked in a breath.

"Standard training for an X-5," Alec explained, clipped. He stared at the edge of the window frame and the ragged remains of wood. "I learned to compensate for recoil as soon as I can lift the damn thing."

" _Eyes Only_ didn't see any connection to Manticore."

Logan referred to his alter ego as someone else, like it was some shadowy dude hiding behind a curtain like that Oz guy Alec read in one of Logan's books. He wished it was true; he could punch the guy in the nose for dragging Logan out here.

"We should go," Alec said. His eyes squinted out the window. "We're too exposed. I'll come back at night and take a look at the roof and—"

"No."

Alec whipped his head around.

Logan gripped the top of his wheels. His leather grip gloves squeaked against the treads.

"If Manticore is involved somehow, you can't be here. You _shouldn't_ be here."

The logic was sound. Still, it stung. 

Alec nodded jerkily.

"Fine," Alec bit out. "Get your buddy detective Sun—"

Logan shook his head.

"What the hell?" Alec exploded. 

"If Manticore—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Alec muttered. He ground his teeth. Abruptly, he dropped his messenger bag by Logan's feet. "Watch my stuff."

"Alec, where are you go— _Alec!_ "

Alec felt a twinge as he darted out the unit, Logan's stressed call trailing after him. He didn't slow down or backtrack though. In fact, he ran faster, taking the stairs to the roof rather than chancing the elevator.

 

"Nothing up there," Alec reported. He lingered by the doorway. The stiff shoulders warned him back. Logan stared hard at a bloodstain on the ground. Alec's _Jam Pony_ messenger bag was tucked against Logan's side. 

"No sign of rigging, no residue on the ledges. Either no one came down from the roof with a line or he free climbed down, because there was nothing."

"Hard to fire an assault rifle while scaling a wall barehanded. Much less two."

Alec grimaced. Logan sounded calm; too calm. He was sort of glad Logan wasn't looking at him.

"Yeah, they either did a hell of a cleanup job in that short amount of a time or came down from one of the floors above. Except all those windows above this floor looked like they've boarded up tight for a long time."

Logan nodded wordlessly. He studied the gaping window.

Alec shifted from foot to foot. "Look. I—"

"Don't do that again." Logan wheeled around. He held up Alec's bag. "Don't..." He peered up at Alec with weary eyes.

Alec nodded numbly. "I just..."

A shrill beeping startled them both as Alec's _Jam Pony_ pager inside the messenger bag.

Alec grimaced. "Yeah. Uh, duty calls. Well, _Normal_ calls. The guy thinks it's the same thing." 

Logan didn't smile. "You better go then."

The beeping kept blipping and squawking and seriously, Alec should probably shut the damn thing off. His boots were stuck to the floor and his mouth kept opening and shutting. It was like being prepped for a mission; he was a stupid empty machine until Manticore crammed in all his mission protocols and send X-494 on its way.

"I'll uh...see you later?" Alec gathered enough gray matter to speak finally.

A shadow flickered across Logan's face. It almost looked like guilt. Except he didn't look away like most guys would. He lifted his chin higher, met Alec in the eye and offered a brittle smile. It looked like someone forcefully and painfully cut that grimace on Logan's face.

"Maybe....I've been..." Logan inhaled deeply. "I think we better not." He winced and his eyes dropped. "I mean..."

Alec's stomach dropped somewhere to where he had parked his bike below. He swallowed. It was no big deal. Hell, even this awkwardness wasn't a surprise and he could have imagined the script well in advance.

Still, Alec wanted to throw up hearing it.

"Hey, if this is about..." Alec lifted his shoulders as high as his stiff body would allow. "Don't worry about it." His mouth cracked his raw feeling face. "Not a big deal, all right?"

Logan flinched. His mouth flattened. "But it was."

Alec wanted to tell him it really wasn't. That what happened in the car was nothing, but that would be a fucking lie. A lie X-494 should have easily told Logan, but shit, his palms itched remembering the velvety feel of Logan's mouth and the taut yet smooth feel of quivering muscles pinned beneath him.

Damn Logan. He was right: it _was_ a big deal. The sensation of touching Logan, tasting him has burrowed under Alec's skin into muscle memory. He could remember how it was to feel him, devour him. It was a taste left bitter and oh so, sweet in his mouth.

"Only if you make it a big deal," Alec told Logan. "It needed to be done. We did it. Forget about it and move on."

"I can't compartmentalize like that," Logan said quietly.

"You seem to keep your _boss_ and your life pretty separate," Alec couldn't help saying bitterly. 

"But this time it wasn't _Eyes Only_ who...who..." Logan's face twisted. "It was m—"

Alec's pager went off again. 

Growling, Alec lifted his messenger bag to chuck it through the window.

"You better go. Duty calls." Logan carefully veered around Alec for the door. "For both of us."

Alec numbly watched Logan leave. He strained to hear the sticky tread on the uneven hallways as the chair rolled into the elevator. He stood there, listening to the elevator rock and groan as it descended. 

The beeper whined again.

Alec scowled at his bag. He jerked the strap across his body and stomped out for the elevators as well.

 

"Hey."

Original Cindy threw a kettle at him.

In hindsight, it was Alec's fault. Still, as he dodged easily the projectile that left a dent in the makeshift drywall behind him, he whined.

"What do you have against my head?" Alec smoothed a hand over his scalp, feeling for lumps he knew wouldn't be there.

"Alec?" Cindy gasped in a non-sexy, breathless sort of way. "What the hell?" 

With a _click_ , the naked bulb in the center of the apartment flared to life. No sputters because Alec maybe, kind of, possibly, rewired the damn thing while he waited for Cindy to come home from her booty call. 

Alec wiggled his fingers at her. "I like your dress. New? Red's a good look on you."

"How the hell did you get in here?" Cindy snapped as she stepped out of her platform shoes. She didn't wiggle out of her almost skintight halter dress though. Boo. 

"The door was open!"

"Since when?"

"Since I picked your lock." Alec nodded towards the door. "You should get one of those dual tumbler systems."

Cindy debated getting something else to throw at Alec. 

"And what the hell took you so long?" 

"We were having a nightcap over at Jody's place." Cindy hung her purse up.

"Jody? Thought you were seeing Match?"

"Fire's out on that one."

"So now it's Jody, huh? You could have brought her here."

Cindy flipped a one finger response to that.

Alec lifted up his peace offering. "I got me and Original Cindy curry. From _Alyasa_?"

" _Alyasa's_ good," Cindy acknowledged begrudgingly. She padded around into the lopsided coffee table in the center of the space. It also served as a catchall as she tossed her silvery hoops into a chipped bowl on it.

"But why aren't you sharing it with Logan?"

Alec flinched.

Cindy's keen eyes settled on his face. She sighed. 

"Hold on. Original Cindy will be right back."

"You could change here," Alec called out to her as she crossed to her bedroom. "I don't mind."

A face towel flew across the room and smacked Alec in the forehead.

 

The _paneer_ was on the salty side, but it made up for the blandness of the _roti_. 

Alec smeared a piece of flatbread round and round in the Styrofoam container, picking up the buttery spices. He could sense Original Cindy watching him. Hell, he should be flattered.

"Been five days," Cindy calculated as she dipped into the remains of her vegetarian curry. The potato chunks disintegrated when she speared them. "Thought you be stalking him after his hack a few days ago."

"He's a big boy," Alec muttered. He crunched up the rest of his _roti_ into his food and watched the bleached white shards soften in the sauce. "Besides, he's got his buddy Sung with him."

Cindy sighed. "First Normal kicking it on and off with his sci-fi girlfriend and now you. When did Original Cindy start shelling out her wisdom for the Lonely Hearts page?" 

Alec squinted at her. "Who said anything about needing your wisdom?"

"So sneaking into Original Cindy's place was because...?"

"I wanted curry! I thought you would, too! So I bought enough to share because I'm fucking awesome like that!"

"And Original Cindy thanks you, but that's not all."

"Yeah? Says who?"

"Says your face." Cindy shook her head. "We need drinks."

Alec snorted. "I can't get drunk."

Cindy whacked him lightly on the head. "Not you. Me. Original Cindy is not lending her shoulder without some fortification first."

Alec frowned at her. Who wanted her shoulder anyway? He tracked her heading to her kitchen. His eyebrow rose when she took out a tall green glass bottle of sake from her fridge. She set it down on her tiled, narrow counter with a _thud_ before she turned around and pulled out a dented sauce pan to boil water.

"You," Cindy announced as she turned on her single gas burner top, "are getting tea."

"I don't want your crummy tea," Alec grumbled. He stuck a spoon into Cindy's curry and stole a carrot covered in sauce. He stuck out the tip of his tongue to capture what lingered on his lower lip. He swallowed as he remembered another pink tip flicking out doing the same on a full lower lip which had flushed and glistened in the car after Alec—

"Um," Alec reiterated meekly. "Actually, do you have any more of that jasmine stuff?"

Cindy smirked at him and grabbed a mug.

 

"No."

"Yes."

Alec shot Original Cindy a baleful look across the wooden crate serving as her eating table. "Did you not hear what I just said? He said 'we better not'."

Cindy leaned back into a heavily duct-taped blue bean bag. She tipped the sake bottle a degree for a sip. Only she could pull off making that look dainty. 

"No," Cindy corrected, "You said he _thinks_ you better not." She smacked Alec's hand before he could spear another curry drenched carrot. "And when did that stopped you before?"

"He never said that before!"

"Not those exact words," Cindy agreed, "But close enough. Original Cindy never saw you back down. In fact, you make it a point to push back. You're like a hyperactive, horny fungus." She set the sake on the table. 

"I'm a _cute_ fungus," Alec grumbled. He picked the seam of the yellow bean bag he sat on until Cindy smacked his hand away. "Besides, it's different this time."

Cindy chuckled. "You are pathetic. You and Max. You two—"

"I'm not Max," Alec snapped. "I know it. You know it. He knows it. Enough, okay?" He stared at his food, or what's left of it.

"No," Cindy murmured, deflated. "You're not Max. Max left." Her bare foot kicked his knee under the table. "You're still here."

Alec shrugged. "No reason to go anywhere. I got a good gig here."

"Does he know that?"

Brow knitted together, Alec made a face. "Sure he does."

"Did you tell him that?" Cindy pressed.

Alec blinked at her, puzzled. "Why is that important? I'm not planning on blazing—"

Cindy leaned over and grabbed him by the ears. She was flushed; her dark cheeks wore a tint of red. She swayed slightly on her knees. But Alec didn't push her away. He stared.

"Did you tell him that?" Cindy repeated slowly.

Alec mentally ran through his memory. He swallowed.

"But he knows," Alec said weakly.

Cindy snorted inelegantly. She released Alec's ears. She smirked when Alec made a show of rubbing his right ear and giving her an injured look.

"You are so whipped," Cindy slurred. 

Alec bristled. "No, I'm not."

Cindy scoffed. 

"You're like me and Diamond."

Alec canted his head. "Diamond?"

"Our girl. Just up and left after coming back." Cindy sniffed. She made a face and took a long pull of the sake. "She was our...Original Cindy doesn't want to talk about her." 

"But you just—"

"She's ancient history," Cindy hiccupped. Alec scrambled to catch the bottle before it landed on his head. "She _should_ be ancient history. And we're not repeating it, you hear?"

Alec toed the sake bottle behind him.

Cindy sagged into the bean bag, her cheek to the vinyl. "Wherever she is now, it's what happens. It happened because we think we all have ESP and we don't need to communicate and go around astonished when something happens you weren't expecting." She punched Alec on the arm. She missed. 

"Men are so stupid."

"Hey! What does that got to do with you and..." Alec watched Cindy curl into the plush seat. He waited. She muttered. After a few more insults to his gender, Cindy fell asleep.

"We're not stupid," Alec muttered. "Well, maybe he is." 

Cindy grumbled in her sleep and burrowed deeper into the bean bag. A rip somewhere on it whistled as it deflated under her weight.

With a tired smirk, Alec finished up the rest of the curries. He drained the tea and put away the sake. Alec hesitated and threw a blanket over Cindy before leaving.

 

Matt Sung looked around before stepping out of his car to meet Logan. The trees concealed him briefly. The community park outgrew its tiny confines due to neglect. Grass took over pavement, weeds ate up flower patches. It was great for concealment; hell for surveillance.

Eye still behind the sniper scope, Alec waggled his fingers hello back. Not that Sung could see him. The detective may have sent coordinates to their next meet after a week of silence. But Alec chose his perch a hundred yards away from them and above. 

Even after driving through detours, backtracking around streets and using questionable roads, Logan appeared to be wary whether he lost any possible tail. Logan remained in his car for ten minutes before he transferred into his chair. Like Matt, he looked around his surroundings.

It didn't make sense. Logan wasn't some souped up custom made machine by Manticore, but Alec could swear Logan zeroed in on him on the rooftop of the condemned mill. The tiny figure through his scope seemed to have paused, stared right at Alec, eyes fixed on his face like when Alec had lowered his mouth to—

Alec ducked. He swallowed as he hunched below the roof ledge, the scope hugged to his chest. He wiped the back of his hand across his brow. He was startled to see his hand damp with sweat. Sweat slicked the back of his hand like it had clung to the firm planes of Logan's stomach, as his chest heaved, his jeans gapping lower to expose the trail of darker hairs, lower and lower—

"Stop it. Stop it." Alec grabbed the sides of his head. He rocked forward, almost banging his forehead to his knees in the process. The taste of Logan, the salty tang over sleek skin, over crisp chest hair—

Growling, Alec curled his fingers tighter around the tuffs of hair he held on for dear life. He clutched hard enough to hurt. The minor pain drew all the heat he felt pooling between his legs. 

Alec drew a shuddering breath. Then another. The ground solidified underneath him. Alec no longer felt like he was flailing on a bad line. He cautiously looked up, turned around and peered through the scope again.

The park was empty, Logan and Sung's cars driving away in opposite directions. 

 

"Thought I might find you here."

Even the drunken whoops and laughter of _Crash_ didn't drown the words completely.

Alec blinked. Great, he's been brooding for so long, he's now imagining the guy who invented the whole damn thing. 

A shadow crossed his table. Alec's eyes slid to its owner. He started.

"Hey." Alec's smirk felt _weird_ on his face. "Fancy meeting you here."

Logan fidgeted in his chair. He looked cold dressed only in a gray t-shirt and denim jacket. His eyes were everywhere but on Alec. His smile was more of a grimace which dropped quickly.

"Original Cindy called me and since I was in the area..."

Alec stiffened. "She called you?" His head whipped around and found Cindy smirking behind her beer at the billiards area. She has his peanut bowl too, damn it. When the hell did she take that?

"I think her exact words were 'get down here before your boy mopes himself into the ground'," Logan said hesitantly. "Uh, mind if I—"

"Oh yeah, sure. Have a seat." Alec inwardly cringed.

"No thanks." Logan's strained laugh hurt to hear. "I, uh, brought my own."

"Wish you would stop doing that," Alec muttered.

"Doing what?"

Setting his jaw, Alec forced himself to look up. "Reminding me about your chair like it was important."

Logan looked taken aback. He opened his mouth, but snapped it shut again. He wheeled to a clear spot by Alec. It took two tries, trying to roll forward then back then forward again until he got in. Alec bit his tongue from offering to help.

With a sigh, Logan nodded absently as a mug of beer was set down in front of him and two bowls of peanuts. He turned the drink between his hands before he finally spoke up.

"Everything all right?"

Alec popped a peanut in his mouth. He rolled the salty bit around in his mouth. "Can't complain. You?"

"Busy." Logan took a careful sip of his beer. "Have you had any more headaches?"

The next peanut threatened to choke Alec. "Nope. For once, my head is screwed on straight."

"Good. That's good to hear. Maybe it came on so suddenly because of Lee's treatment."

"Uh huh." Alec crunched loudly. "Look, if we're just going to do this again, mayb—"

"Wait." Logan held up his hand. "Just...I need to...just wait..."

Alec nodded. He gestured Logan to continue.

It wasn't clear what was so god damn fascinating about the beer. Eyes studying the fizzling head of foam, Logan shrugged. 

"Back in the car...the night you—"

Alec gulped. The nut fought all the way down. "I remember." He chuckled awkwardly around the knot in his chest. "It was pretty hard to forget."

Logan slouched further into his chair.

"Yes," Logan murmured, "I guess not." 

Alec plucked out another peanut. He watched it rolled stutteringly over his knuckles. It left a trail of salt. 

"I guess we needed to talk about it sooner or later," Alec mumbled. He gave the line of salt an absentminded lick.

Logan looked away. "I'm sorry."

Alec blinked. "Huh?"

"I uh...I didn't mean to take advantage..." Logan's mouth pressed thin. "I shouldn't have used you like that."

If Alec was drinking, he would have spit it out. Were they in the same car? He made a face at Logan. At the faint flush across Logan's cheeks, Alec's eyes widened.

"Oh, you mean..." Alec nodded towards his crotch meaningfully. Logan's growing unease confirmed it. 

"Uh, if you don't remember; I wasn't exactly complaining."

Logan's mouth twitched. The lines around his smudged eyes deepened. 

"No, I appreciate you keeping up the pretense for the guard, but—"

"Whoa, what pretense?" Alec wasn't sure if he was flattered or insulted. He opted for both. "Look, I'm good but even I can't do it on command." He looked down pointedly at his crotch. He snapped his fingers. He whistled. He looked up at Logan, brow arched.

"See?"

Logan stared blankly at Alec. "Oh."

"Oh?" Alec settled for insulted, after all. "That was more than an 'Oh'." He drew symbols into the damp table. "Maybe an 'Oh my God, do it again', but definitely not just an 'Oh'." 

"If it hadn't been for that guard—"

"Look, ah, okay, maybe it started out for show for that guard but..." Alec fidgeted under Logan's unblinking gaze. 

"It didn't finish up that way in the end." Alec peered up at Logan. "Not for either of us, I think." The other was still looking at Alec like a puzzle he was trying to decipher. His eyes, even as intensely green they were, reminded Alec of his _Eyes Only_ hacks; Alec couldn't look away.

"Was it?" Alec added, half question, half challenge.

Logan tore his gaze away first. His throat worked.

Swallowing hard, Alec stretched out a finger and brushed it along the white knuckles on the table. Logan didn't pull away. Encouraged, Alec pressed on.

"You didn't use me." Alec felt the tremble and the growing tension in Logan's fingers. "This wasn't some john in an alley. This was us. I know the difference."

"The guard—"

"It was my idea." Alec curled his hand around the retreating fingers. "I could have stopped it at any time if I wanted to." He tightened his grasp. "But I didn't. I didn't want to."

Logan stopped trying to pull his hand away. 

"I don't think I ever came that hard before," Alec murmured, leaning in to be heard above the bar. Logan closed his eyes. Alec brushed two fingers now over Logan's fist, tracing the ridges of bone and the tendons beneath.

"I wasn't alone," Alec whispered.

Logan scoffed, bitterly, self-loathing eroding his voice to a rasp.

"Did I?" Logan's hand was suddenly cold, a fist of ice. "I couldn't tell."

"Hey." Alec wiggled two fingers into Logan's fist, forcing the hand to unfurl. He smoothed over the angry half-moons carved red and deep in the fleshy part of the palm.

"That didn't matter. Not that." Alec took a deep breath. "That's just...biology." He didn't mention he did feel a weak response then; that would be cruel. "But you felt it. And you came. Didn't you?"

Logan started to shake his head. Alec reached over and splayed a hand on Logan's chest.

"I meant here." Alec could feel Logan's heart hammering against his hand like a caught bird. "The rest is biology, but did you feel it here?"

Slowly, Logan's head stopped shaking no. When Alec's hand pulled away, Logan caught his fingers. He gave them a squeeze before his hands wove back around his beer.

"I'm not sure," Logan admitted. His Adam's Apple bobbed. "There were times I thought I felt...but it could just be phantom sensation or wishful thinking."

Warmth tingled on Alec's fingertips, as if he touched a hot pot. Alec rubbed them together. Already, Logan's heat faded from his skin.

"We can find out for sure. We can take it slow," Alec murmured. He stared at his fingers, willing them to warm again. "We don't...I mean, come on, don't tell me you want to ignore this."

"This?" 

Alec shrugged. "Beats the hell out of me, but I want to find out. Don't you?" He stole a look over. Logan's eyes clouded as they stared into his mug. "You went up against sex traffickers, scum of the earth. You can't tell me Logan Cale is afraid of a little cock."

Logan laughed shortly. "Depends on whose is it."

"Hey." Alec dragged his chair around until he was directly in front of Logan. "It didn't bother me. I told you: biology."

Logan smiled wanly at him.

Alec wondered if sliding across the table to kiss him stupid might help. Probably not. He did, however, reached over and brushed his thumb over one of the shadows under Logan's eye. They were darker, bruised, worse than when he saw Logan days before. Alec wanted to brush his mouth over them and wipe them off Logan's skin.

"I liked what we did in the car," Alec murmured. "No pretending, no acting; I thought it was amazing." He lowered his voice. "There's so much more I wanted to do in that car—guard or no guard."

Logan swallowed hard.

Alec's throat squeezed. His stomach churned. He forced himself to keep talking. "Your hands on me felt good. Real good. Did mine felt just as good on you? It looked like it did."

Logan shuddered. His eyes slid shut, his long lashes teased Alec's thumb.

"You looked..." Alec murmured. "You felt incredible under me. I wanted to taste you for days. Woke up still feeling your hand on me; the way you held so tight, moved so perfectly. I woke hard dreaming about it."

Breath ragged, Logan's throat bobbed. The flush on his face felt warm when Alec stroked it. 

Alec leaned into Logan's ear. "We were amazing. It can be again. If you'll just give me the chance to prove it to you. We saw how great it was then."

Logan took a shuddering breath. "Alec," he murmured brokenly. "I—"

"Yo, Heather!"

Logan's eyes flew open. He automatically turned his head before starting. He whipped his head back around just as Sketchy trotted over with Original Cindy behind him.

"Salutations, Mister Logan Cale." Sketchy missed Logan's wide eyes as he offered a kowtow. He bumped fists with Alec.

"Want to play a set, Heather?" Sketchy invited. "Pot's fifty now. I want to try winning my money back."

Alec bit the inside of his cheek. He avoided looking at Logan studiously studying Alec's ear.

"Heather?" Logan managed out.

 _Don't laugh. Oh fuck, don't laugh._ Alec shrugged. "Dean Heather. Better than Newbie." He lightly punched Sketchy in the arm. "Just call me Dean, will you? I'm gonna blaze though. Normal's got me on an early shift tomorrow."

"Next time," Sketchy vowed. "My wallet demands satisfaction."

"You all right, Logan?" Cindy frowned.

Alec couldn't stop a snort from escaping. Cindy shot him a puzzled look. Logan's glower only made him feel more hysterical, a bubbling grew inside his gut, wanting to bust free.

"I think it's past his bedtime," Alec choked out. He pointedly did not look at Logan as he waved. "Later." He nodded to Cindy though. He threw her a kiss. She made a face but nodded back, her eyes dark and smiling.

 

Alec lasted two city blocks before he lost it in an alleyway. He had to climb down his bike before he fell off.

"It wasn't that funny," Logan grumbled. His ears were still red.

Alec rested back on a brick wall as he made a show of wiping a tear out of the corner of his eye.

"Aw," Alec singsonged, "Don't be like that, _Heather_." He hiccupped.

"Dean Heather?" Logan huffed. He neatly turned his chair around towards Alec. 

"I needed to fill out the application." Alec shrugged. "First thing that came to mind." He grinned toothily. "Kind of catchy, huh?"

Logan looked at him over his glasses. He wordlessly turned around.

"Come on," Alec called after him. "Really? You're gonna—" He stopped.

Logan rolled to a halt. He glanced over his shoulder. His brow furrowed when he saw Alec just standing there.

"What—" Logan stopped when Alec raised a hand.

The back of Alec's head prickled like before. His skin crawled and Alec could feel his feet wanting to roll forward to balance on the balls of his feet in a ready crouch.

Someone was watching them. 

"What is it?" Logan caught on quickly. His chair stopped, still in the alley, too far away from the opening to the street.

Alec stared intently at the shadows deeper into the alley. Years of post-Pulse neglect and years of people not giving a shit had left it cluttered with broken street lamps and buildings so busted; they were even empty of squatters.

"Alec." There was a quiet click, barely discernible but Alec recognized it as Logan's gun.

"You said you were in the area." Alec set his jaw. "Doing what?" His jaw tensed further, straining when Logan said nothing. 

In the dark, Alec thought he caught a glimmer, an eye catching what light the moon above gave. Just a glimmer then gone then glimmer again.

Someone was blinking out there. Someone hiding in the dark even Alec couldn't see through.

"We should go," Alec said tightly. "Where's your—"

When it happened, it was quick.

There was a _thump_. Behind Alec. _Logan!_ Before he could turn around, there was another _thump_ in front of him. He didn't bother identifying his target. He swung. And he swung hard, fist aiming high, foot aiming low. He struck, felt bone shatter under his blows.

The target didn't fall.

Alec snarled and swung again. He caught a glimpse of a bloodied face, a nose concaved in, but the eyes were still intent, mouth unmoving, Jesus, this guy should be down, he should be—

Behind him, a gun fired. And again.

Alec spun around, exposing his back to the enemy and he could hear Lydecker hollering at him for it, but he smelled blood and the wheelchair was on its side, empty of its master and the shadow that stood over Logan was even bigger than Alec's and three bullets just went into that guy and he won't go down.

"Behind you!" 

There was a panicked voice, an unfamiliar voice, but it came too late. A boot landed square on Alec's back and with a hard kick, sent Alec flying past Logan, past the dumpster, twenty feet. It was only by pure luck, and maybe some Manticore reflexes, which helped Alec grab the rusty fire escape ladder before he crashed into the brick wall.

The rung snapped—stupid post-Pulse shit—and Alec landed on his feet with it gripped in his hands.

As soon as he touched ground, Alec charged towards Logan's guy. He has a hand around Logan's reddening throat, the other hand roughly digging through his jeans pockets, bodily jerking Logan around. He was bleeding from four bullet holes now.

Alec swung the bar. He felt blood splattering on his face. He felt the guy stagger back.

Then the second guy returned. 

Alec grunted as he smacked into the very brick wall he tried to avoid before. 

Logan's gun fired. But this time into the air.

The two attackers paused. They looked at each other and took off.

Alec shakily got to his feet. "S-seriously?"

"'overdrones," Logan croaked. "That'll get their attention. Attention those guys apparently don't want." He shakily dragged himself by the elbows to his wheelchair.

"Shit." Alec stumbled over, brought the wheelchair the rest of the way over. He muttered an apology before he bodily hauled Logan up and into the chair.

"Your car?"

Logan wordlessly pointed to the left.

Alec steered for that as his ears picked up the faint high pitched buzzing swooping in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you Wednesday!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter today as we start revving up the story.
> 
> Warning: Some dialogue parallels with "Blah, Blah, Wolf, Wolf"

There was still a buzzing that had crawled into the back of Alec's skull, sharp and persistent like white noise. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists; the pain distracted him from the urge to blaze, to lash out, to crawl into the deepest hole he could find.

It was confusing as hell. Fight or flight warred within while Alec sat shotgun in Logan's car. Even the bruises from the fight, the sting of barely winning against those guys, wasn't enough to get him to focus. Sitting in the car, then the elevator up, then into the penthouse didn't soothe his limbs to make up their minds.

"Alec. Alec."

The voice finally filtered. Alec looked up and realized he had been pacing in front of the couch, blocking the windows so no one could get a visual target inside. Logan already transferred to the couch, the full first aid kit next to him, his hand extended out to offer the second ice pack. The first one was balanced precariously on Logan's right shoulder.

"What's the damage?" Alec accepted the cool pad. With a grimace, he slipped it under his shirt and pressed it to his lower back. Bastard knew where it would hurt. He'll have to keep an eye out when he takes a piss for the next few hours.

"They took the flashdrive," Logan reported as he experimentally rotated his shoulder. He made a face. "And the camera card, but luckily I always backup those in the camera's housed mem—"

"I meant you," Alec said, cutting off Logan's checklist because it was starting to piss him off. "I don't give a fuck about a flashdrive."

"I do," Logan said sharply. They glared at each other for a beat.

Finally relenting, Logan sighed. "Shoulder's sore but fortunately, you interrupted him before he could dislocate it."

"Yay me," Alec bit out. He threw himself down next to Logan. "And?"

"And?" Logan's eyes drifted to his lap. "I don't feel anything else. I'll check later."

Alec frowned. "Check now. Better yet, I'll check for you." At Logan's look, he rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, nothing I haven't leered at before."

Logan sighed. "Alec..."

"You took a hard fall." Alec swallowed because the memory of turning around and finding that bastard straddling him with a claw around Logan's throat made something burn inside. He dropped down on the couch besides Logan. 

"Look, I'm not trying to get into your pants." At Logan's look, Alec amended, "Or out of them, well, I am, but not really, but I—are you _laughing_ at me?"

"Sorry." The bemused smile dropped but the corners of Logan's eyes stay crinkled. "I'm not used to seeing  
you flustered."

Alec scowled. "I'm not used to anyone resisting my charm before, so we're even. Will you go in there and take off your damn pants already?"

"How attractive," Logan deadpanned. He transferred back into his chair and went into the bedroom. "I don't know how anyone can resist that."

"Only you!" Alec shouted to the door. "And I thought _I_ was the freak!"

"You're not a freak," Logan shot back immediately on the other side.

Alec blinked at the bedroom door. "Uh, yeah. Okay. Whatever. Hurry up! I want food!"

 

It should take Logan only a few minutes. Not that Alec timed an imaginary Logan pulling down his jeans. Nor did he debate offering to do it faster with his teeth. But yeah, what the hell was taking Heather so long?

Alec prowled in front of the bedroom door, his own ice pack melting and forgotten on the kitchen counter. He tried not to listen to the quiet purr of a zipper, Logan's soft grunts as he worked his jeans off. His throat worked, however, at the sound of the pants dropping to the floor.

"Well?" Alec demanded.

"Looks fine," Logan called out faintly.

"Can I see?"

"No."

"Aw," Alec whined. "Don't you want a second opinion?"

Logan grunted again.

Alec pressed his face to the door. "I can check for bruises, see if your cute ass got—Logan?"

Muffled, there was another groan. It sounded like it was forced out between teeth; it sounded like someone was trying to keep quiet but failing miserably.

Alec knocked on the door. 

"Hey," Alec said. He rapped again. He heard the bed creak. "You okay? Forget it. I'm going in, all right? Don't shoot me. I'm not trying to be a perv."

Even though Alec's words were light, his tone was sharp. It was sharper than necessary because Logan was probably trying to change and going to get all freaked out about Alec charging in ogling him when Alec promised him they would take it slow.

Logan wasn't changing.

"Shit." Alec reached the bed in a half run. His knees collided with the bed with a vague burst of pain. His hands reached over to Logan's lower back, where Logan's own hand dug into the hard line of spasming muscles. 

Forehead almost to his knees, Logan's rigid straight arm on the bed was the only thing preventing him from pitching head first out of the bed and into the floor. He breathed harshly through his teeth.

Alec pressed his hand over the clawed one on Logan's back. He snatched his hand back at the heat he could feel through the undershirt.

"You must have fallen on that cute tailbone of yours," Alec said as he placed his hand higher. Logan managed to change into sweatpants, but still wore his henley bunched up under his arms where he must have tried to take it off. 

"Funny," Logan bit out, "it doesn't feel cute."

Alec glanced down at where their hands were. He grimaced at the patch of exposed skin.

"Hate to say it, but it doesn't look cute right now either. Bruising is up to your L5, L4." Alec's brow furrowed. 

"Well," Logan panted. He tried to straighten up. "At least I can feel something, right? Last year, I couldn't at all."

"I don't think being able to feel pain is a 'Yay' moment." Alec's hands moved around Logan's shoulders to brace him. Logan hunched over in pain, his fists digging into the sheets. "Easy there. Can you lift your arms?" 

The henley tugged over Logan's head. Alec dropped it on the floor by the jeans in a pool of cotton. He left Logan looking cold in his white cotton shirt.

Alec tugged up the undershirt and settled the flat of his palm over the discolored skin.

"Shit, your skin has this clammy and boil alive feeling going at the same time. Not sexy at all."

"You say the most flattering things." Logan gritted his teeth as he tried to pull himself higher on the bed. He hissed at the effort.

Manticore had trained all their custom made robots basic field medicine and hell, if a limb needed to be taken off or a bullet dug out, Alec could do it in a pinch. 

This wasn't a battlefield though. This wasn't a soldier on the field. Alec's mind went inexplicably blank.

Pain though—whether given or felt—was a familiar thing. Alec grabbed onto it.

"You got anything in the bathroom for this?" A rolled up blanket jammed under Logan's lower back wasn't going to be enough.

Logan nodded jerkily. He was rigid with pain, immobile while Alec eased him down on the bed. Alec lingered by the bed, his brain stuttering to a halt once more as he gazed down on the squeezed tight eyes. He roused when he caught Logan's hand twitched. It felt like a tearing wound when he left for the bathroom.

 

Alec leaned against the doorway between the bedroom and the en suite. He held up the oxydroxolyn bottle. He shook the tryptophan inside the amber vial.

"When I asked if there was anything in the bathroom," Alec said when he returned to Logan's side, "I meant anything we could actually use."

"I have some acetaminophen," Logan muttered. He didn't open his eyes.

"Great. If you ever get a papercut, you're covered." Alec scanned the bottle. "Oxydroxolyn, twenty five milligrams." He rattled the container. "I know you hid the backup tryptophan in this. Where did your other pills go?"

Logan's eyes remained close, but a furrow creased between them.

"I told you before: they never helped. I threw them out."

Alec's eyes rounded. "Do you know how much I could have gotten for them on the street?" He mourned. "I'll ignore that blatant waste of money for now. What do you normally do when this happens?"

Logan grimaced as his lower back twinged again. "It's never been this bad. I told you I have some acetamin—"

"I don't believe this." Alec threw up his hands. "Alright, just...don't go anywhere okay?"

"Darn," Logan gritted out as he rode through another wave of fresh pain, "I was thinking of wheeling around Seattle for some pizza."

"You're still not as funny as you think you are, Heather." Alec dropped a hand on Logan's forehead to check for fever. When he pulled his hand away, he found Logan looking at him strangely.

"I'll be right back." Alec ran a finger down Logan's arm. He tapped the white knuckled fist. "Seriously, lie still."

"Alec," Logan murmured. "Whatever you're planning, it's not worth—"

Alec kissed Logan. It was chaste, dry lips pressing into a startled mouth. 

Logan shut up.

Alec held up a finger, winked and left.

 

It was late enough everyone was asleep.

Including rich people hooked on vicodax. 

It wasn't oxydroxolyn; nowhere near as strong, but better than what Logan has in his medicine cabinet. And 8H wasn't going to miss a bottle. The people at 8H have _Jam Pony_ messenger over non-descript brown paper wrapped boxes weekly. The boxes came from a Chinese taco place that everyone knew didn't only have General Tso tacos on their menu. 

Alec offered a one finger farewell to the shut bedroom door as he tiptoed out of their bathroom. He stuck his tongue at them as well as he helped himself to the hundred someone left tucked inside a book like a bookmark. The couple at 8H never tipped or smiled at any of the messengers. Alec figured at the very least, buying the guys a round at _Crash_ with the hundred was fair.

Logan was wide awake and staring at the bedroom door when Alec returned with his arms full of bread, water and drugs.

Alec raised the pill container. He waggled his eyebrows.

"8H?" Logan guessed.

Alec scowled because Logan ruined his surprise and because Logan sounded hoarse, like he's been screaming all night for not-fun reasons.

"Vicodax. Fifty milligrams. You'll need to eat something with them. Figured three of these magic pills should do the trick. It's not oxydroxolyn, but it does contain a small amount of muscle relaxant. Should help." Alec shrugged at Logan's look. "Manticore liked their soldiers able to play doctor in a pinch." 

Logan studied the bottle Alec held up. He frowned.

"I'll throw out the rest," Alec said when Logan started shaking his head. "Whatever you don't use, I won't leave them here. Okay?"

Logan thought it over. He nodded, still appearing not to be too happy about it.

"Geez, you're secretly a masochist, huh?" Alec muttered as he helped Logan sit up. "Kinky, but I can get on ball with it and get a few toys."

Logan sputtered around a drink of water. 

"It's not that," Logan rasped. "Having it around makes it too easy to rely on, to fall back on." His red-rimmed eyes clouded over. "Knowing it's there, all of it..." He shook his head. "It's too easy."

"Too easy to what?" Alec narrowed his eyes when Logan only gulped and shook his head. He looked down at the bottle in his grasp. He gave them an experimental rattle. He frowned. Wait...

Logan shakily reached up and took the bottle.

"Three, you said?" Logan rasped.

Alec shook out of his thoughts. "Uh, yeah. Eat something first though." He sat at the bed's edge and watched Logan eat some bread before taking the pills.

"Those things are going to knock you out for the rest of the night," Alec warned. 

Logan started. He glared at Alec.

"You couldn't have told me this _before_ I took them?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "What? Another hack to do? The way you feel right now? It'll be exactly sixty seconds of you moaning and groaning in pain that cannot be traced, cannot be stopped. Half of Seattle will get a thrill out of it though."

Logan's shoulders slumped. 

Alec rubbed his thumb over the fist Logan jammed against his hip. He massaged the fleshy part of his thumb into the knuckles and watched the hand unfurled.

"You can play superhero tomorrow," Alec murmured. He watched the fingers relax one by one. 

Logan watched Alec with hooded eyes. His hand stayed in Alec's grasp, curled like a breakable thing.

Alec sat back on the bed, by Logan's head. Logan had pulled himself to the left, leaving space on the right for Alec. 

In the quiet of the bedroom, the lights turned low. Alec listened to Logan breathe; he listened to Logan's pulse within the hand cradled in his hands. He watched Logan watch the ceiling.

"The ceiling's getting fuzzy."

Alec bit back a snicker. "Oh yeah?"

"I think it's trying to say something."

A hiccup lodged in the base of Alec's throat. "You're kidding."

Logan blinked hard. "I think I'm kicking the drugs in."

"Or," Alec quipped with a smirk, "The drugs could be kicking in."

Logan nodded drowsily. "Feeling numb."

Alec patted Logan's hand. He tracked Logan's pulse. Luckily, it stayed steady.

"This feeling," Logan slurred.

"Hm?"

Logan swallowed. 

"It's why I don't keep..." Logan squinted up at Alec. 

Smile fading, Alec glanced over to the pill bottle by the end table. Suddenly, it felt too close. 

"Too easy," Logan murmured. His eyes dragged lower.

Alec sandwiched Logan's hand in his grip. "Get some sleep, man." He sagged back into the headboard. His own aches and pain faded.

Logan's hand flexed.

"What?" Alec found he couldn't raise his voice louder than a whisper.

"In the car."

Alec's throat tightened. His mouth twisted. "We can talk about it later. You're too dopey right now." 

"I'm sorry," Logan mumbled.

Alec squeezed the slack fingers. He watched the nail beds go white then flush back immediately with life.

"I told you: I wasn't complaining. Did you hear me complain then? I think I did everything _but_ complain." Alec checked for fever again. His stomach flip flopped at the half mast gaze lingering on his face. 

"You never complain," Logan murmured. 

Alec scoffed.

"Not about anything important to you."

Alec's eyes dropped. He went back to stroking Logan's hand.

"That night..." Logan seemed to shrink into the bed. "You looked...For a moment, I felt norm—I forgot about..." He waved his other hand towards himself. "But I..." His face contorted.

"I'm sorry, Alec."

Alec found himself at a loss for words. He pulled up Logan's hand and brushed his mouth over Logan's knuckles. He felt the fingers twitch. He tightened his grasp before they pulled away.

"Get some sleep," Alec murmured. "I'm gonna go download some porn into your computer, all right?"

Logan gave a sleepy snort. He curled his hand around Alec's grip.

"I didn't want to be like the others."

Alec rubbed a hand over and over Logan's hand. He felt the body against him sagging deeper into the mattress. When Logan's breath evened out into sleep, Alec let go of the hand and untangled the covers under Logan. He pulled them up to his chest. He found himself checking for fever again. He paused, his hand hovering over a cool brow.

The hand drifted to Logan's jaw instead. Alec traced the shape of Logan's mouth, cupped the rough jaw and felt the vulnerable skin under his ear.

"Newsflash, _Eyes Only_ ," Alec croaked, "I don't think you're like the others."

 

"Oh."

Alec looked up, the knife still in his hand as he scraped the last bit of peanut butter out to spread on the bread. He didn't find jelly but there was a banana sitting in the fancy fruit bowl which he sliced up. He was in the middle of assembling the last sandwich when he heard Logan wake up in the bedroom.

Logan blinked up at Alec, squinting because at six twelve in the morning, the guy probably needed more than a carafe of coffee to function.

"Morning," Alec quipped. 

"Morning," Logan parroted. He studied Alec. "I thought you left."

"Nah. I got hungry though. But I wasn't in the mood for egg rolls." His cheeky grin faded as a flush rose across Logan's cheeks when they both remembered the last time they had egg rolls.

Logan had changed into faded navy sweats and the damp spikes of hair told of a quick shower. It didn't explain the weird look on his face though.

Clearing his throat, Alec gestured to the plates of sandwiches. 

Logan kept staring. He didn't even blink.

Alec made a face. "Let me guess. Not in the mood for peanut butter for breakfast?"

"No. I, ah, no, that's fine." Logan's eyes tracked him to the dining table. After some hesitation, Logan wheeled over, slipping into a spot across from Alec.

Alec straddled the seat backwards. He nodded towards Logan's plate before pulling his closer.

"Don't know if it tastes the same as that sandwich you made before but you didn't have any chicken and carrots." Alec bared peanut butter stained teeth at Logan. His grin wavered at Logan's stare. "What? No good?"

Logan blinked. He glanced down at the sandwich as if seeing it for the first time. Gingerly, he picked up one half and took a bite.

"I know it's not gourmet," Alec grunted around a bite of sticky white mess.

"It's fine." Logan pulled the sandwich away to look at it before he glanced over. "Thanks."

Shrugging, Alec continued eating. He peered over his food. He found himself smirking when Logan took another bite. He dropped his eyes back to his own food.

Alec slid over the pot of coffee he caught Logan eyeing for the fifth time.

"You feeling better?" Alec asked after the first mug was filled and promptly drained. 

Logan nodded. He winced when he tried to straighten up.

"Your tailbone might have been fractured." Alec cleared his throat meaningfully. "I would be more than happy to check."

"I'll give my doctor a call today if it still hurts." Logan paused. "And I checked when I was in the shower. Nothing felt broken."

Alec's mouth went dry at the thought of Logan reaching down there. He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans as he thought about Logan and his tapered fingers tentatively probing, pressing and seek—

"T-that's good," Alec managed with only a little squeak. "Give your doc a call. Good. Not about your as—tailbone, but about your doctor."

Logan frowned mildly at Alec. "You all right?"

"Super. Terrific." Alec jammed the last bite into his mouth. He reached for another sandwich even as he struggled to swallow.

After a quiet moment of them just chewing, Logan cleared his throat. "Uh, thank you. Really."

Alec arched an eyebrow across the table. "Was the sandwich that good?"

"No. I mean yes, the food was good. I meant...Thank you...For what happened in the alley last night." Logan fiddled with the water bottle before taking a drink. "And uh, later."

The peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth. It was why Alec couldn't speak at first. His jaw worked.

"So who were those guys?" Alec rotated back his shoulder. The bruises were healing but there was still a pang whenever he moved. "They took punches better than I thought."

"I'm not sure." At Alec's scowl, Logan showed his hands. "Really. I was investigating some deaths involving early released inmates. I thought they were connected but it looks like they're more mercenaries for hire."

"Yeah, I think one of Herbal's friends died the same way. Heard about it when I first joined up _Jam Pony_ ," Alec said. He snagged a water bottle on the table. 

Logan nodded absently. "I heard about that. I'd only started investigating at that point." A shadow shrouded his expression. "I still didn't know much. I tried to warn them and the killings seemed to have stopped for a while, but they started up again a few weeks ago."

" _Eyes Only_ can't catch all the bad guys," Alec pointed out. "Leave some for the police to catch. Make them earn their keep." He shrugged at Logan's grimace. "Besides, they were ex-cons. They probably got dragged back into their old life and got sucked into something nasty."

"All of them? Less than two weeks after their release? From massive bullet wounds? No witnesses?"

Alec paused, his head tipped back to drink. "Okay, that's hinky." He finished his movement, drinking long draughts. Done, he smacked his lips. When he lowered the bottle, he caught Logan averting his eyes. "Any theories?"

Alec pursed his lips when Logan said nothing. 

"Yesterday, you said you were in the area," Alec reminded Logan. "I take it you weren't bar hopping."

Logan took a long gulp of water.

"Another _Eyes Only_ field trip?"

Green eyes whipped up sharply. 

Alec leaned forward, his arms folded on top of the chair. "Those guys must have been following you for a while. The other guy, too."

"What other guy?" Logan's brow furrowed.

Alec's gut flared up. He wasn't sure if it was because Logan didn't notice his second stalker or didn't deny the first. He leaned into the chair. The front legs creaked before rocking back, the back legs landing with a _thump_ that was louder than necessary.

"I thought I saw glass," Alec finally said. He peeled the crust off and nibbled at one end. "A reflection. Too big to be a sniper scope. Heard him shout out a warning while your secret admirers tried to ask you out."

Logan's eyes narrowed. "Not a sniper's scope." His eyes widened.

"Camera lens?" Logan said sharply.

Alec chewed the last of the crust as he reviewed last night's events. "Yeah. Maybe. Could be a camera lens." His eyebrows rose when Logan swore under his breath.

"Relax, it was pretty dark there and the guy, whoever he was, never got closer. Your face would have been all a blur." Too bad. Alec wouldn't have minded a nice headshot of Logan in his wallet. If he used such things, that is.

"Not dark enough to get a photo of a certain acrobatic guy who jumped twenty feet to a fire escape ladder."

Alec grimaced. 

"Oh."

Logan rolled away from the table. "I better make some calls. See if any of the newspapers were approached with a photo. I might be able to hack into their servers if it was emailed—"

Alec frowned at remaining sandwich half left on the plate. 

"Hey—"

The wheelchair squeaked when Logan turned the chair back towards Alec.

"Damn it, Alec, this was _exactly_ why I wanted you to stay away. Manticore—"

Alec rolled his eyes.

"This isn't a joke!"

"I know it isn't!" Alec said. He held his hands open. "If that _was_ Manticore, I would have gotten a tazer to my kidneys so they can 'Return to Sender' on my ass!" He shot up from the chair and stalked over to where Logan still had a white knuckled grip on the phone. 

Alec pried the phone out of Logan's grip. He waved the receiver at him. 

"That didn't happen." Alec inhaled. "What could have happened instead was me walking into that alley too late." The phone dangled against his side. 

"But you don't give a shit about that, do you?" Alec deflated. He reached over Logan and returned the handset. 

Logan didn't look at Alec even when he was close. His hands squeezed the top of his wheels, his arms flexing.

Alec stared at the crown of Logan's head. He chewed his lower lip. His eyes flicked over to the fireplace and thought of the last time Logan looked this way. He sucked in his breath.

"I'm not Bling."

Logan twitched.

Alec dropped to the floor and folded his legs. He peered up at dull eyes. Hesitantly, he slipped his hands over Logan's. They felt cold.

"You're not using me; you're not sending me to my death," Alec murmured. He wished Logan would look at him. "Keeping me out of your business isn't keeping me off Manticore's radar." He laughed bitterly. "I'm always on their radar."

Logan slowly lifted his eyes up.

Encouraged, Alec rubbed his palms up and down on the cool knuckles. 

"Besides, when did that ever stop me from sticking my nose into your business?" 

Logan's answering smile was fragile, but at least it was there.

"Alec, the littlest rumor..." Logan shook his head. 

Alec shuffled closer until he could touch the cold ankles on the leg rest bar. He couldn't unlock it or tuck himself between Logan's knees; he sat as close as he could, close enough to see Logan's chest drawing in a shuddering breath.

"It didn't happen." Alec didn't move as Logan tentatively clasped Alec's fingers. 

"But it could." Logan clutched Alec's hand before he let go. "This person, the one with the camera—"

"Is not Manticore, never came forward _and_ helped us." 

"But why?"

"Maybe he's a fan?" Alec smirked at Logan. "You're a popular guy. Maybe he wants in your club?"

Logan's brow was still furrowed, but his breathing calmed.

Alec smoothed circles on Logan's wristbones with his thumbs."If Manticore ever does get too close, we can always ditch it all and go to Canada."

Logan stilled.

"We?" Logan asked, his voice funny.

Alec pulled away. He could feel his cheeks heating up.

"Well, yeah." Alec tugged at the fraying hem of his t-shirt. "I mean, you're coming with me, aren't you?"

Alec wasn't sure what was so damn funny when Logan chuckled. It couldn't have been too funny though because Logan sounded like he was choking as well.

"I'll slow you down," Logan whispered, voice cracking.

"Since when?" Alec returned, baffled. He peered up at Logan's wide eyes. He nodded.

"Oh wait. Yeah, actually, you would." Alec coughed into a fist before deepening his voice.

"Alec, we need to stop here. There's a kitten on a tree. Alec, hold up, we have to pass out alms for the poor. Wait, Alec, I have to finish saving the world." 

Logan stared at Alec, mouth partially opened. Something flitted across his face. His face twisted and he looked away.

"What?" Alec's brow knitted together.

"I..." Logan turned back and gave him a lopsided smile. "I don't really sound like that, do I?"

Alec snorted. "Are you kidding? Each time a video hack came on, I think half of Seattle was copping a hard-on."

Now it was Logan's turn to snort. 

"No, I'm serious. You got this whole deep throat pornographic voice going. I think you should channel your powers for good. With practice, you could get anyone to drop their pants the second you say hello."

Alec slipped his hands onto Logan's wheels. He coaxed the stiff fingers to peel away. He blinked when Logan flipped his hands up and gave Alec's hands a squeeze. 

The contact left Alec lightheaded. He found himself rambling.

"You know you could start a hotline up North. I want to be in charge of sound effects and you could get some sort of sexy handle like your hacking one..." Alec's eyes widened.

"You're a hacker! You're _Eyes Only_!"

Logan arched an eyebrow.

Alec rubbed his hands gleefully. "You could crack into security systems, I waltz in and—holy shit, we could clean up! Screw that. Let's go now."

"Wait." Logan was laughing. Alec found himself grinning goofily up at him. "I can't...we can't..."

On a roll, Alec schooled his voice to a whine. "Come on. We'll be robbing them blind. And if you feel guilty, we'll stop and save a kitten or two from a nasty tree or recycle or...something." He straightened up to his knees. Logan was still chuckling when he met Alec's eyes.

"Or something?" Logan repeated. His eyes crinkled, his smile weary but genuine.

"Hell, there must be some goody goody thing we could do to ease your guilty conscience." Alec leered. "And I'm more than happy to put out in exchange for you to get rid of that guilty conscience."

"Are you trying to bribe me into a life of crime with sex?"

"Hey, not sex! An _experience_."

Logan shook his head. He glanced up at Alec. His smile, for some reason, faded.

"Canada, huh?"

Alec lifted his shoulders. "Why not?" He paused. "Uh, unless, you don't want to. I mean, you got your gig as _Eyes Only_ and stuff."

"Yes." Logan's Adam's apple bobbed. "My gig. Fight the fight. Downtrodden. Blah, blah, woof, woof."

Alec frowned inwardly. He wasn't sure where the conversation went south because defeat seeped into Logan's voice again. He wanted to grab Logan by the shoulders and shake him hard enough to reset his mood.

"Hey." Alec idly picked at the tread on a wheel. "Ditching everything for Canada with me wouldn't be that horrible, would it?"

Logan's mouth twisted. 

"No," Logan whispered. "Not completely horrible."

Alec's mouth curled up. 

"I was serious about last night, too," Alec murmured. His hand trailed up Logan's arm. He could feel goosebumps under his touch. "I want to see what this is. We can take it slow. See what works, what doesn't."

Logan exhaled. "I...let me think about it."

"You'll think about it and not head off to Cape Haven, right?"

"I wasn't—it wasn't because—" Logan squeezed Alec's hand. 

"All right. No running for the hills."

Alec squeezed Logan's hands in return.

 

The sandwiches were mildly soggy by the time Alec and Logan returned to the table. Alec resisted the urge to pat Logan on the head when he picked up the remaining half without prompting.

Alec kept looking over to Logan, sometimes catching Logan surreptitiously doing the same. 

Something seemed to change Alec couldn't identify. It hung between them noticeably different, but what, Alec couldn't pinpoint. Across from him, Logan appeared to still be his broody, gloomy self. Sort of. 

"You were pretty banged up last night," Logan said out of the blue. "How are you feeling?"

Alec shrugged. "I heal fast." He pulled up his shirt and twisted to show Logan his back. "See? Bruising all gone." He stopped pissing blood two hours ago as well. He turned back around in time to catch Logan hastily averting his eyes.

"So," Alec said loudly. He bit back a smirk when Logan started. "Those guys in the alley, they're not doing the killings." At Logan's look, he shrugged. 

"You said no witnesses. These guys even stand loud. Someone would have seen a bunch of robots stomping around offing ex-cons."

There was a gleam in Logan's eyes as he considered what Alec said. "After last night, I'm pretty certain they're not related." 

Alec's mouth pursed. "You lost me."

"I was doing some checking on other things at the same time. Inquiries on some unsolved cases. There were a few undocumented entries into the States right before these cases. They all came from South Africa."

"Huh." Usually, people were trying to sneak out of the States, not sneak _in_. "What's in South Africa?"

Logan chewed his lower lip. "Not sure yet. But I'm looking into it."

Alec frowned. " _'I'm'_? Are you still thinking of going solo here?"

"Alec—"

"Look, those guys, whoever they are, were reved up. I mean they recovered and moved like they were souped up by Manticore, only better. But the way they moved and reacted, it wasn't from the moment they were zygotes." Alec thought back to their wooden faces, their jerky moves. It was all brute force but no finesse. 

"They're kind of like Steelheads." Alec made a face. "They got upgraded but didn't get the manual."

"That's a good comparison." Logan tapped a finger to his chin, drawing attention to his mouth. Alec stared at the full lower lip and missed a part of what Logan said.

"...should still leave you out of it."

"What?" Alec snapped out of his reverie. 

"If they're anything similar to Manticore, they may have a connection as well." Logan shook his head. "Too risky." At Alec's snort, his eyes darkened. "You have other problems to worry about."

"Huh? The camera guy?" Alec rolled his eyes. "Look, all he did was watch. Kinky, but harmless. And he did warn us."

"Why? And why didn't he come forward afterwards? How long has he been following? Who was he following? You or me?"

Alec scowled at Logan. "Are you always this paranoid? You know what? Never mind." He slapped his palms on his jeans. "I'll find out who he is and see which name he's drawing hearts around."

"Be careful." Logan's brow was knitted. "We don't know who his target is."

Alec almost scoffed until he realized Logan was staring at him with open worry. He gulped back his retort. "Yeah. Sure." He arched his eyebrow at Logan.

"Does that mean I'm in the club now?"

"The club?"

"You know: the sexy voice _Eyes Only_ club."

Logan frowned at him. "I'm not taking members."

"But—"

"Alec." 

The unsteadiness in Logan's voice froze the words in Alec's throat.

Alec sighed. "Fine. Be all self-martyring and keep your secrets, but if you blow the whistle on a scumbag, I got dibs on his stash." At Logan's eyebrow, he gestured at the dinner table.

"Come on! I cooked and everything!"

Logan scoffed. He studied Alec for a long moment.

"Jim Carver," Logan finally said.

"Excuse me?"

" _Eyes Only_ is going to expose evidence he's been skimming off the low income healthcare system by swapping out distributed vaccines with saline. Then he turned around and sold the vaccines off the street even well past their expiration dates."

Alec tried not to bounce in his seat. That would be immature. 

"What a horrible, horrible man," Alec declared. "You happen to have an address for the scum of the earth?"

Amused, Logan rolled into his office and scribbled it down. 

"Okay, give me two hours before you do your hack, okay?" Alec plucked the address out of Logan's fingers. "I got a shift at _Jam Pony_ after, so I'll see you at dinner time." He stopped when Logan hesitated.

"I'll see you at dinner," Alec reiterated. He stooped down, inches from Logan's face. "Okay? I want to try something with you."

Logan's throat bobbed.

"Oh?" Logan managed. He leaned back into his chair. His mouth parted.

"Hey," Alec murmured. He brushed his thumb across Logan's lower lip. "I said we'll take it slow. We will. Don't you want to try again?" 

Logan ran his tongue across his lip. He exhaled unsteadily.

"I'll...see you at ten then?"

Alec's chest seemed to fill. And before he thought better of it, Alec pressed his lips to Logan's mouth. Just a light touch, enough to taste the peanut butter and coffee.

"See you later," Alec said. "Try not to catch all the bad guys tonight, _Eyes Only_."

 

Dangling ten feet upside down over Jim Carver's laser beam system, it occurred to Alec that it felt like Logan had maybe kissed him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh. It just occurred to me we're halfway through!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: nipple play, sex, depression comes to play in this chapter

He almost took Sketchy's head off.

Sketchy yelped. He retracted the hand he had dropped on Alec's shoulder. He jumped back, reflexes borne more out of asshole drivers cutting in front of him than Manticore.

"Peace," Herbal chided. He wagged a finger towards Alec's fist.

"Sorry." Alec held open his hands. The rest of the locker room ignored them; there was too much racket going on for any of them to notice or care. 

"I'm a little jumpy today," Alec explained as he shoved Jim Carver's gold watch and platinum bracelets (ew, dude, really?) to the back of his locker under his spare t-shirt. "I think I drank some of your coffee by mistake."

"The official fuel of _Jam Pony_." Sketchy nodded towards the makeshift coffee station: a dented oil barrel with skull and crossbones spray painted on its dented belly. Someone had convinced Normal free coffee and day old donuts were good for morale. The purple drum marked the border between the men and women's locker room.

Herbal grimaced. "That will get you up high but bring you down low too soon." He clapped Alec's arm. "I have ganja in my bag. Jah would want me to share the joy, mon."

Alec elbowed him lightly in the ribs. "That stuff doesn't work on me, but thanks." He shrugged at Sketchy. "Guess your coffee's not for me. Sorry about before, man."

Sketchy smiled broadly, never one to hold a grudge. He made a show of slowly reaching over to punch Alec in the arm and went to claim the latest hot run. Herbal exchanged fist bumps with Alec. He went over to his favorite pastime: pissing of Normal.

"Boo."

The locker door crumbled a little in Alec's grip.

Alec glared at Original Cindy. "Very funny." 

Cindy smiled serenely. She was forgiven when she reached over to help him adjust his collar higher over the bandage taped to his nape.

Alec ducked his head so Cindy could smooth down a corner of the gauze. He grumbled as he straightened his shirt and jacket with a tug. "He's lucky I pulled my punch."

Cindy leaned against his locker. She folded her arms and canted her head.

"Shut up," Alec grumbled. He grabbed his gear. He resisted touching his neck. The creepy itchy feeling dogged him all morning after he swung by Logan's. He trailed behind Logan until he met up with Matt Sung.

Alec squared back his shoulders.

A locker door two rows back slammed. A corner of Alec's eye twitched.

"Damn," Cindy commented. "You're jumpier than Normal in a room full of hot runs."

Alec made a face. "You're comparing me to our fearful leader? Seriously?"

Eyebrow arched towards Alec, Cindy waited.

"Original Cindy is afraid to ask: what went down last night?"

 _Everything_. 

"Nothing." Alec poked around his locker. "I did pick up the ugliest man jewelry of the century. Wanna see?"

Cindy pursed her lips.

"It's like as thick as my di—ah, my wrist. Think he's compensating much?"

Unblinking, Cindy's dark eyebrow rose higher.

Alec threw up his hands. He shut his locker and gave her a scowl.

"All right, fine. After the bar, a couple of his admirers jumped us, we went back to his place—don't look at me like that, nothing happened. Well, he took off his pants, but only after I nagged him about— _What_?" Alec screwed up his face at Cindy's glare. "Nothing happened."

"Original Cindy can tell when nothing happened, and _nothing_ happened."

Alec stared at Cindy. "Seriously, what does that even mean?"

"It means your _nothing_ could mean something in the future."

Alec tapped the strap of his messenger bag. He gulped as he looped his bag across his shoulders. "Maybe."

" _Maybe_?"

"We're meeting tonight. For dinner."

"Hm."

Alec shot her a look. "Don't 'hm' me. For all I know, he's going to be a no show at his own place."

Cindy nodded sagely. "Logan gets lost in his work sometimes—"

" _Sometimes?_ "

"But the man has never broken a date although I've never seen him—"

Alec jolted. "Wait, wait, wait. This isn't a date." He found he suddenly didn't know where his hands should go. They kept flapping in front of Cindy. He jerked his hands down and shoved them in his pockets. "This is dinner."

"Uh huh." Cindy smirked. Alec was tempted to push her off his locker.

Alec shrugged, but for some reason, Cindy's smile deepened. "We have dinner all the time. Lunch even! Hell, sometimes breakfast too."

Cindy plucked his sector pass out of his locker and pinned it to his denim jacket. She patted it over his heart. "It's different now."

Alec frowned. "Since when?"

Cindy arched her eyebrow.

Alec glared. Cindy stared back, her face deliberately blank.

"We do this all the time." Alec rolled his eyes. "I'm doing the guy a favor. His cooking skills were wasted on his appetite." He gave his purple owl a little polish with the edge of his sleeve before slipping the little guy into its new protective case: a felt lined leather box that once housed one of Carver's butt ugly bracelets. The owl looked way better in it.

Alec tucked the box into his messenger bag. "Hell, if it weren't for the fact we, er, you know, that night, we probably would have met for dinner anyway. Just because we had really awesome sex in his car, doesn't mean—"

When Alec closed his locker door, the _bang_ resonated in his ears like a revelation.

"Shit," Alec bleated.

Cindy patted him on the shoulder.

 

Matt Sung was no help.

"Why are you telling me this?" Sung looked fidgety. Or it could be he was hungry since Alec intercepted him coming out of the gyro place. He kept looking at his aluminum foil wrapped beef gyro in his hand.

Alec gave him a wide eyed look, but Sung only narrowed his eyes further. "Do you think _he_ thinks it's a date?"

It appeared Sung gave up on the idea of a hot lunch. He sat down on the hood of his car. He looked ruefully at his gyro and sighed. 

"I didn't even know you guys were, uh—look, it's like you said: you two have dinner all the time."

Alec rolled his bike back and forth. The chain on the back went _clack-clack-clack_ manically. 

"Yeah, but after, it's usually 'hi, thanks, see ya later' sort of thing." Alec cleared his throat. "Not...you know."

Sung looked pained. "I really don't know how to answer you." 

Alec sagged. "I figured you would know more. You knew him longer."

Sung offered an apologetic grimace. "Logan's not much a talker. About himself. More so after a friend of his disappeared."

"Bling." Alec gripped his handlebars tighter.

"You knew Bling?"

"No. Just what happened to him."

Sung sighed. "He was determined to keep it strictly business after Bling disappeared. And seemed to have no problems with his boss sending him out solo." He hefted the gyro in his hand. "He's been overly cautious with the rest of us."

"Not with himself," Alec muttered.

Sung grunted in agreement. He eyed Alec.

"What?"

"So does this mean you're in?" Sung gestured between them.

Alec scowled. "Nope." He winced when Sung frowned. "Sorry, man." He paused. "But..."

Sung smirked. "We're meeting at eight tonight. Need an address?"

"You think?"

 

Alec hung outside for eleven minutes.

The alarm was once again disarmed, but Heather always left it off. The window, however, was shut.

Maybe he should go through the door?

Alec peered into the living room. It was 0917. He was a little early. All right, he was _a lot_ early. The living room was dark though. Logan should have been back by now; his meeting with Sung was short. From his position behind a water tower a hundred meters away, it had appeared almost rushed.

As a breeze swirled around Alec, a thought popped up. He swallowed.

"You said no heading for the hills, Heather," Alec murmured. He placed a hand on the glass. He took a deep breath and slid the window open. He paused, listening with his head cocked. After a beat, he slipped inside.

As Alec wound up his rigging, he heard the door. He froze; the lines of rope tangled in his grip.

"Hey," Alec called out as soon as he heard the chair approach the living room. 

The wheelchair halted.

"Oh," Logan said lamely. "You're early."

Alec turned around. His eyebrows rose. 

"Probably a good thing because I think it'll take me all night to eat all of that." Alec gestured towards the double shopping totes that crowded Logan's lap.

Logan glanced down as if just remembering them were there. "I uh, wasn't sure what to make for dinner." He steered for the kitchen. "At first I thought pork chops, but then I saw the chicken and thought maybe a roast chicken, but you had that before so I thought something different might be better so I picked up some sausages."

Alec propped his elbows on the kitchen island. He observed Logan pull item after item out of the bags into the lower counter. Oranges tumbled out of the tote, making a break for it. 

Logan laughed awkwardly. "I was thinking about _Duck à l'orange_ but it turned out there wasn't any duck and thought I would try the chicken, but..." He stared at the contents. "It's better with duck, only..."

"No duck," Alec finished. 

"I know I can empty your fridge in one sitting," Alec declared when Logan finished listing what he was thinking. "But, you can give me that can of tuna over there and a fork and I'm good."

Logan frowned at the food. "I figured tonight's dinner..." He shrugged as he stared at the lower counter. "Thought I should do something...different."

Alec straightened. He glanced down at his street stained jeans and cream colored t-shirt. He compared it to the gray button up Logan wore with black jeans.

"I should have dressed up."

Logan blinked down at himself. He smiled ruefully. "I was thinking the same thing."

Alec sighed. "I'm going to kill Original Cindy." At Logan's look, he waved towards the food. "She kept telling me how this was a date and everything and—"

"Funny," Logan said wryly, "Matt Sung said the same thing just before."

Alec snorted. "And she was asking if I was going to bring anythi—" He darted a look at Logan.

" _Should_ I have brought something?"

Logan chuckled nervously. "Matt asked if I was making anything special for dinner. Should I have?"

The two looked at each other. Slowly, they grinned.

Alec dropped his head to the counter. "I'm breaking into her place tomorrow and rearranging all her stuff."

Logan scoffed. "Can I give you Matt's address to do the same?"

"This whole day she's been telling me what a big deal this is."

"It's not like we never had dinner before."

"I know, right? She kept saying it was different now because..." 

Alec petered off. Logan's chuckles faded. 

The hardwood floors squeaked when Alec scuffed the toe of his boot along a seam.

"Maybe..." Alec hedged. "There was some stuff changed, huh?" He traced one floor plank with his toe, all the way to the kitchen.

"Um, I suppose," Logan murmured. "I guess things are a little different." He cleared his throat. "But it doesn't have to be."

Alec frowned. "If you're changing your mind," he warned, "I'm going over there and kissing you stupid." 

Logan's eyebrow shot up.

Alec grinned crookedly. "Okay, I guess that would be counterproductive."

"I think so," Logan said dryly.

"It would be a convincing counter argument though." Alec puckered up and pointed to his mouth.

Logan's mouth twitched at the corners. "Maybe."

" _Maybe_?" Alec glowered at Logan. The other rolled back a fraction as if it was a serious possibility.

"All I'm saying is let's have dinner like we always do and then, I mean, if we..." Logan's shoulders lifted. 

Alec nodded slowly. "Okay." He eyed the windows. He grinned. 

"Hang on. Be right back." Alec could feel Logan's baffled stare on his back as he reattached his lines and ducked back out the window. 

A few minutes later, Alec winched his line back down. He grinned as he spotted his window, opened wide and its alarm disarmed. He ducked in, hollering, "Hey! You in here? Dressed? _Naked?_ " 

Alec hopped into the living room, unhooked his line and shut the window behind him. He smirked when Logan looked up from his scrutiny of the oven. He changed into his gray sweats; much better than his starched buttoned shirt.

"Damn, you're dressed." 

Logan blinked, taken aback. A faint smile spread as his shoulders relaxed.

"I like wearing clothes," Logan deadpanned. "I'm funny like that."

"Har har, Heather. I'm telling you: _nude hacks_. Your viewership will shoot up. Get it?"

Logan scoffed as he slid a baking sheet into the oven.

"How's the superhero business?" Alec quipped. 

"Not too super." Logan shrugged. "Bad guys seemed to have gone on vacation."

Alec pouted. "I was in the mood of stealing something shiny." He snagged an orange from the fruit bowl. He bounced it off his shoulder, rolled it down his arm before catching it with his hand. "Oranges. Cool. I was in the mood for some folic acid. Scurvy sucks."

"I think we've pretty much eliminated scurvy as a dire health threat in this century." Logan looked a little cross-eyed when Alec stuck an orange segment to his lips. Logan deftly plucked it out of Alec's hands and popped it in his mouth.

Alec scowled. "Did my hands have cooties?"

"Cooties?" Logan echoed. He arched an eyebrow,

Alec dangled another orange segment.

Logan neatly took it out of his hands before he could pull away.

"You're no fun," Alec sighed. "Are you going to feed me, at least?" 

The oven dinged.

Logan's mouth quirked at the corners.

"Grab a plate."

 

"Good food."

Logan lifted his eyes from his plate. "Thought it might be nice to try something new."

Alec gulped. The stuffed chicken breast was suddenly stuck in his throat now.

"Trying new things is good. Great," Alec managed.

Logan was suddenly fascinated with his food.

So much for it being like any other dinner. Everything sounded like...something else in Alec's ears. Conversation with a side of porn, oh God.

It didn't help they had decided to eat on the couch. Then again, there was no choice. Mount Cale erupted and overflowed in a river of files, newspaper clippings and full colored autopsy photos. Logan looked like he wanted to throw himself over the files when he caught Alec giving one paper mound a poke.

The coffee table was laden with the chicken cutlets stuffed with celery, apples and parsley. There were crunchy bites of toasted baguettes topped with diced tomatoes and onion. And roasted beets with its red juices running over a bed of greens.

They should have stuck with cans of tuna.

Alec choked around his baguette slice while he watched Logan out of the corner of his eye. Logan nibbled the bread slice, his tongue darting out to catch the crumbs. He idly licked the cutlets' gravy off the tip of his thumb. His mouth pursed slightly around a beet chunk for a bite.

"I liked the chicken the best," Alec rambled on. Logan nipped more gravy off his fingertips as he cut a piece of cutlet. 

"Yeah, it's awesome." 

Alec bit the inside of his cheek when gravy left Logan's lower lip slick and shiny. 

"The fruit and green stuff in them was awesome. Really. And that tomato thing on top of the toast was awesome."

Logan paused, his fork laden with chicken near his mouth; his lips were partially opened, not gaping wide to eat, but parted like any minute his tongue would tease between his teeth to lick the—

"The beets were great, too," Alec barreled through. "They were...ah..."

"Awesome?"Logan quirked an eyebrow.

Alec paused. His breath escaped in a _whoosh_. He dropped his chin and snorted. 

"Okay, I'll admit. This is still weird after all." Alec gestured towards the coffee table. "I wanted to ask what's for dessert, but I'm worried you might take it the wrong way."

"I appreciate the restraint." Logan coughed, but Alec caught the smile behind his fist.

The couch was firm, but inviting when Alec sagged into it. He turned his shoulders so he rested sideways against it. He studied Logan.

"What?" Logan set down the plate and faced Alec. 

"I was sure you were going to back out," Alec admitted. "Some informant was going to call, new case, a new hack..." He tucked his bent arm under his face like a pillow.

"I'm not complaining, mind you. But why? Why now?"

Logan took his time drinking a glass of white wine he's repeatedly refilled. He sank back into the couch but faced the windows, not Alec. 

"I don't know."

Alec sobered. "I was ninety nine percent positive what I did in the car was going to fuck everything up."

"I told you before—"

"I know. You weren't just laying back and thinking of Seattle." Alec reached over with his free hand. He smoothed the line between Logan's eyes with his thumb. His stomach flip flopped when Logan didn't stop him.

"And you didn't use me." Alec shrugged. "I know the difference."

"I wish you didn't have to learn how to tell," Logan murmured. "You shouldn't have been forced to do things you didn't want to." He closed his eyes briefly while Alec swept his thumb across Logan's forehead. His eyes looked green, an emerald's heart, when he gazed back. 

"Thanks," Alec whispered. For some reason, it was getting harder to speak. Logan blurred before him for a brief, airless moment. He cracked a smile. 

"But I wasn't forced." Alec let his hand, with a potter's light touch, skim down Logan's face. He lingered on the shape of Logan's cheekbones, the bow of his mouth, the angle of his rough jaw. "I adapted."

"Even worse," Logan exhaled. He shifted carefully to rest back against the armrest so he could lie on his side to look at Alec. He didn't flinch when Alec shuffled closer.

"What are we doing?" Logan whispered. He tracked Alec's hand as it caressed down the length of his left arm to his hand. Tapered fingers roughened from hard work, innocent work, bloodless work.

"I'm not sure," Alec confessed as he traced the subtle ridges of Logan's knuckles. "What do you think we're doing?"

Logan's throat bobbed. "Part of me thinks this is a bad idea."

"Part of you?" Alec ran a tongue over his suddenly dry lips. He stayed his hand and let it curl over Logan's knuckles. "What about the other part?"

Logan's hand trembled underneath. Alec flexed his hand over it.

"I've stopped listening to that part of me since..." Logan jerked a hand towards his legs. "That part stopped trying to talk to me after my last treatment failed, and I was back in the chair again."

"You said the treatment failed, but you could still feel some things." Alec wished Logan would stop glaring down at himself. 

"Some."

"What things?"

Logan shrugged, his eyes distant. 

Alec's hand stroked the forearm. Logan flinched but didn't pull away. 

"We could find out," Alec said softly. "Find out if what happened in the car was real."

Logan swallowed. "I still think this is a bad idea."

"No," Alec corrected, " _part_ of you thought it was a bad idea. The other part..."

Logan took a deep breath. He closed his eyes.

"Is that part of you trying to tell you anything right now?" Alec murmured. He swallowed as he shifted even closer. Inch by inch. "Was that part of you telling you something in the car? Whenever we kissed? Whenever I touched you?"

Alec knew his knee touched Logan's, but Logan never noticed. Alec slipped an arm behind Logan's shoulders. 

Logan opened his eyes, throat working when he realized how close Alec was. 

"What's it telling you now?" Alec whispered as he leaned into Logan's personal space, close enough to feel Logan's sharp inhale like it was robbing his own breath. He propped himself higher on his elbow. He slowly slipped Logan's spectacles off and folded them on the coffee table. Without the eyewear, Logan's eyes appeared larger and darker. 

"I don't know," Logan said quietly. His eyes were glued to Alec's mouth. "What can it tell me? I don't think I can give you what you want."

"Biology," Alec said as he dipped his head. His mouth grazed the corner of Logan's mouth. He whispered against the sharp stubble on the skin.

"And you can't know what I want; I don't." Alec continued as he lingered over the partially opened mouth. His tongue flicked out to taste the salty tang of Logan's jaw. 

Logan's hand tentatively curled around Alec's elbow. He didn't push Alec away. He didn't pull him closer either.

Alec wasn't sure why his hand shook when he reached up. He carded trembling fingers through Logan's hair. The thick brown, blond hair changed under the light as his fingers combed through the strands gold and bronze.

"Hair changes color." Alec swept his palm down the back to curl around the warm, unmarked nape. "Like your eyes."

"Your eyes change color, too," Logan said, whisper soft as if any louder would shatter the air around them.

"Yeah?"

"You have hazel eyes. Like mine." Logan's fingers jittered as they traced the line of Alec's brow. "But not like any hazel eyes I'd ever seen."

Alec turned his head and nipped Logan's exploring fingers. He curled his arm tighter around Logan's shoulders, pressing the body against his hip.

"Will it hurt if you lie down here?" Alec asked softly. 

Logan tensed. "Alec..."

Alec gave Logan's shoulders a brief squeeze. "We're taking it slow. I said we would. I promise." He felt lightheaded when Logan wordlessly twisted, until his upper body was fully on the couch. Alec helped pull his legs onto the couch as well. He made himself not look at Logan, stretched out under him as he swung a leg over to straddle Logan.

Alec kept tracing the shape of Logan's jaw, the back of his ears, the textured silk of his throat. 

Logan did the same, just as tremulous, his fingers unsteady as he swept his hands round Alec's face with an archeologist's grace, touching with all the care he would an artifact.

Alec wondered what Logan could find interesting. Unlike Logan with his faded ache scars, the stretch of line by his eyes, the faint indent on his clavicle. Flaws were weeded out of X-5s with a whir of a centrifuge. Alec couldn't bear scars; he couldn't burn under too much sun, his jaw wouldn't coarsen with stubble. 

"Don't bother," Alec joked weakly as Logan's hand brushed along his hairline seeking secrets. "I can't even get a rash thanks to my fancy DNA."

"I wasn't looking." Logan's thumb trailed down Alec's face, down to his throat and then back up. 

Alec pressed his mouth on each tiny, almost translucent scar: the dot by Logan's mouth, the shadow on his lower jaw, a short dash next to Logan's right eye.

"You taste good," Alec murmured. "You feel good." He rolled his hips forward, his crotch rocking gently over Logan's stomach. 

Logan's breath caught.

"You feel this?" Alec leaned more his weight in, his jeans' button digging into Logan's stomach. He moved his hands down, framing Logan's upper chest. He squeezed. 

"This?"

Alec's hands traveled to the front and massaged circles on the worn cotton over Logan's nipples.

"Do you feel this?" Alec murmured. He kneaded the pecs. He felt the nubs pebble under the shirt. "Mm, you did." 

Alec kissed the top of Logan's eyelids. 

"Close your eyes. Tell me what you feel." 

Logan stared at Alec for a long moment. His eyes drifted shut. Logan lay prone underneath Alec, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"I got you," Alec soothed as he continued teasing the hard nubs against the fabric. He dug his thumbs around them, pinching them, palms pressing them into the pecs as he teased.

Logan's breath quickened.

Satisfied he'd given Logan's nipples enough attention, Alec moved his hands down the cotton until his hands settled over the ribs, fingers positioned between the spaces in-between. Alec gripped the body he held, squeezing and releasing careful and slow.

Logan's body tensed as Alec's hands trailed down to his lower stomach. His hands bookended the line of the hipbone he could feel jutting against denim.

"Alec..." Logan didn't open his eyes. His hands opened and closed as they stretched towards Alec.

Alec's hands framed the hips. "Feel that?" He started to move his hands lower to cup under his buttocks.

Logan's hands were wilder now. Cool knuckles scraped against Alec's.

"All right, all right." Alec moved his hands higher to the middle again. He leaned into Logan, their chests together. He brushed his mouth from the corner of Logan's eyes, down to his mouth. Logan's face was dry, but Alec kissed down where there would be tears. Over and over as his hands held Logan, Alec kissed the unshed trail until Logan calmed beneath him.

"I..."

Alec kissed the apology away. Logan's hands gripped Alec's elbows.

"It's okay," Alec murmured. "We knew there were places...there are limits. Biology, Logan. Biology." He laid himself across Logan, his hands applying careful pressure where they curled around Logan. His mouth kept tracing the shape of his face.

"I felt..." Logan rolled his head until his temple rested against Alec's chin. "I wasn't sure. I could be imagining things. I..." Logan's jaw flexed.

"You kept your eyes closed," Alec said into Logan's hair. "I didn't tell you where my hands were yet you reached for where they were. You're not imagining things."

Logan swallowed hard; Alec felt the movement against his throat.

"It felt like heat, like a weight," Logan said quietly like he couldn't bear to hear it out loud.

Alec kissed the top of Logan's head. "Can you feel where my hands are now?"

Logan nodded.

Alec carefully moved his hands between their bodies, under Logan's belly button, drifting lower.

Logan shook.

"I can stop." Alec's lips grazed over the furrow between Logan's brow. "Say the word and I'll stop."

Hands dug deeper into Alec's arms.

Alec paused every so often to press down on the firm stomach or drag his lips across another part of Logan's face. His hands traveled, deftly unbuttoned the top button and paused. He could feel Logan steeling himself, his hands gripping Alec's arms so hard, they'll soon draw blood.

"Relax." Alec's teeth gently tugged at Logan's lower lip. "Easy."

Logan's mouth parted, tilting so his lips could seal them together. Alec dove into the heat of Logan's mouth, his tongue swiping against the wet velvet of the other's tongue. He felt Logan's chest expand under him, lifting Alec a little off him before breathing out, collapsing Alec back against him. He was firm, hard angles in some places, warm all over yet shaking like he was cold.

Alec kept kissing, leaning into the joining of their mouths even as one hand slipped into Logan's jeans. His other hand reached up to cup the back of Logan's head, fingers digging into the scalp in a, hopefully, distracting massage.

The bristly short hairs scratched Alec's palm as his hand slipped deeper, past the elastic of Logan's boxer briefs. When his fingers brushed against the soft cock, Logan didn't react. When Alec firmly curled around the lax length, Logan started.

"Sh," Alec whispered against Logan's temples. He gripped harder. Logan jerked. "Am I hurting you?"

Logan shook his head.

Alec reached over for the small shallow dish of olive oil Logan had set on the table for the bread. He dipped his fingers into the oil.

Logan, eyes still closed, knitted his brow.

"My hands are dry," Alec murmured. 

Gulping, Logan nodded.

Alec reached back between them. He curled his slicked hand on the cock. Mouth dry, a lump in his throat, he squeezed the length, careful not to grip too hard, nothing bruising, only enough so Logan could feel the hand there.

"Feel that?"

There was a hesitant nod. Logan gazed up at Alec, his eyes clouded and unsure. 

There was a weak throbbing in the vein that ran underside Logan's cock. Alec ran his thumb down its length, tracing it to the base. He dug his thumb on the base and ran pressure around the circumference.

"Alec..."

Logan sounded hoarse, disbelieving. 

Alec pressed open mouthed kisses down the side of Logan's throat. He mouthed the neckline, nibbling until he could scrape his teeth on the tender skin under his Adam's apple.

"What do you feel?" Alec murmured. His hand massaged a line round and round the base of Logan's cock. He wrapped his hand around the now semi-erect length. He didn't move his hand after. He held Logan as tight as he dared.

"My hand?" Alec said. "Or its heat on you? Tell me."

"I think both. Vaguely," Logan whispered. His voice was unsteady.

"Does it feel good?" Alec carefully started to pump him, his grip still too dry and too tight to truly run his hand down the sluggishly hardening cock. He could feel Logan's breath stuttering, growing shorter and faster. He has his answer.

"You feel good," Alec murmured as he let his full weight settle on Logan, trapping his hand between them. "I can't stop touching you." He ground his own clothed groin into Logan's stomach, just enough so the other could feel the desperate hardness.

Logan appeared startled. He squeezed his eyes shut and let his body rock to the pumping motions of Alec's fist.

"Can you feel me on you?" Alec rasped as he continued his pulls. Logan swayed up and down on the couch, his hands still curled around Alec's arms like a life preserver.

"Your hand," Logan said. He sounded dazed. "I...I think I feel your hand..."

Alec pulled harder, more forceful, tugging Logan's entire body with the motion as he humped against Logan. He was crushing Logan to the couch, pinning him into the back with his weight. Logan didn't complain. He kept his eyes closed and feel.

Logan's cock shivered minutely and came in a weak spurt in Alec's fist. Alec crushed his mouth to Logan, his own hips snapping his covered erection into Logan's stomach. He squeezed and tugged Logan's cock, milking what he could. Already, the erection was gone, unseen, unfelt by Logan, hidden between their bodies.

Underneath Alec though, Logan's breath sped up with Alec's almost frantic motions. Each slam Alec's body crashed into him, Logan shuddered. His mouth gaped open as he panted, his hands now running down Alec's back, his ass, his arms.

Alec thought he saw Logan's eyes roll back when his chest arched off the couch. With a choked cry, Logan came with a violent shudder. 

With a groan, Alec saw white behind his eyes. Something at the base of his spine flared hot and he came in his jeans in a painful jolt. He could feel waves rippling down his back over and over. He blindly rutted against Logan and shook as he could feel heat coursing through his body in another wave of pleasure. He groaned—what he didn't know—and collapsed over Logan.

Alec heard Logan quietly gasping somewhere above him. Under Alec's ear, Logan's heart hammered in a pace Alec thought should worry him if his own heart wasn't trying to outdo Logan.

Outside, the city sounded muted. Soundproof windows. Alec wondered what the city would sound like if he could hear it now. Would it sound far away? It _felt_ like everything's far away. Logan's body against him was the only grounding sensation. 

One of Logan's arms was trapped between his body and the back of the couch. The other was smoothing slow strokes down Alec's back. Alec's face was buried in the crook of Logan's neck and if it weren't for the gross stickiness of his jeans, he was okay about staying where he was.

Alec still had a hand sandwiched between their bodies, warm from their combined heat, growing numb against Logan's abdomen. He reluctantly wiggled. Logan exhaled, his stomach sinking and Alec was able to pull his hand free. He considered the faint smears of come on his hand. He caught Logan staring; he tore his eyes away when he realized he was caught.

Slowly, Alec brought the hand to his mouth. He kept his gaze on Logan as he licked his fingers clean of the mildly bitter come. 

Logan's eyes drifted to Alec's mouth.

Done, Alec leaned in for a kiss and to offer a taste. Logan's returning touch was tentative. It knotted Alec's insides.

"You okay?" Alec slipped in-between Logan and the couch. He snaked an arm under Logan's shoulders and draped the other one over his stomach.

"I think so." Logan sounded contemplative. He sighed tiredly. "No, I...I don't know how I should feel."

Alec's chest clenched tight around him. 

"Oh," Alec managed.

Logan turned his head. They were nose to nose. 

"No, not about that." Logan's hand drifted up to cup Alec's jaw. "That was..." His eyes were overly bright. "I didn't think I could..."

Alec rolled Logan until he was on his side, facing Alec. He kept a hand securely on Logan's hip to keep him in place.

"Did you like it?" Alec asked cautiously. "I know things got a little out of control towards the end and I—"

Logan stretched closer and brushed his lips across Alec's mouth.

Alec grinned sloppily. 

"Can I take that as a yes?"

Logan chuckled lightly. His head lolled to rest on top of Alec's shoulder.

Alec pulled Logan closer. He slipped a knee between Logan's. He rubbed his chin into Logan's unruly hair. He paused.

"If it wasn't that," Alec murmured. He felt Logan burrow closer. The feel of him pressed against him made his head spin.

"I feel..." Logan trailed off. He fidgeted. "I feel...real."

Alec's mouth crinkled.

"I don't know how to explain it. I just...it feels like...before, it felt like I couldn't have what we just did and now that we did..." Logan heaved a sigh.

"For the past few months, before we met, it always felt like I was looking at myself doing things from afar." Logan exhaled; Alec drew him even closer. If Alec could fold him up and press Logan over his heart, he would.

"It's like I'm feeling my arms, my skin, for the very first time, like..." Logan shrugged against Alec. "Like real."

Alec listened to Logan take a steadying breath. 

"Funny," Alec rasped as he brushed his mouth across Logan's brow. "I know exactly how you feel."

 

_"I'll pay you two hundred."_

_Alec's lips pulled back to a grimace. "Sorry. I told you: Fifty for the hand. A hundred for the mouth—"_

_"Four hundred!" Manicured hands fumbled out a wallet that could get Alec a month of tryptophan. Crisp hundreds stuck briefly in the billfold crammed with photos of a blonde woman and a little boy with the Hundred's blue eyes. They were both smiling._

_The photos snapped the burning wire vibrating in the base of Alec's skull. It had been burning since he took the last pill five days ago. It burned as he hovered around a newly vacated corner, debating what to do when his very first Fifty approached him, mistaking him for the boy normally staked out at the spot._

_X-5s were made to learn quickly._

_Alec snatched the wallet from the Hundred. He spat out the come still acrid on his tongue. He smeared his sticky hand on the slick, smooth leather surface. He could barely stand. Four hundred would be closer; it would mean four less Hundreds. His jaw still ached from last night._

_But the smiling faces burned to the back of his retinas._

_"You really want to pay me four hundred?" Alec snarled. He flipped the wallet around to the top photo shielded in plastic. The Hundred—Alec never bothered with names—recoiled._

_"I..." The Hundred stammered. He reached up and readjusted his thick rimmed glasses. They blew up his brown eyes, leaving him looking scared, perpetually close to tears. "I, no, I mean, I l-love my wife. I—"_

_Alec sneered. He slapped the wallet on the Hundred's chest. "You wouldn't be offering me four hundred then."_

_Fuck, the Hundred looked like he was going to cry and Alec wasn't in the mood to hear the perv boo hoo about how this was all a mistake, no he wasn't gay, he was only doing this because he was stressed, his wife betrayed him, this wasn't him, this was a mistake..._

_Alec pocketed the money he's collected so far. His hand shook; it took him two tries to get the wad of bills secure into his back pocket._

_"I don't usually do this," the Hundred plead._

_"Tell it to someone who cares," Alec snapped. He kept his back turned. The Hundred fumbled with his zipper, sniveling all the way as he blazed out of the alley like a hoverdrone had locked onto his ass._

_Alec took a deep breath. He mentally shoved the image of the two smiling faces to the back of his mind. They were probably waiting for dear old daddy to come home. Dinner probably got cold because daddy dearest was busy getting his brains sucked out of his dick on the bad side of town._

_The money was thick but not thick enough in his pocket. It pressed against his ass; a reminder he was still a grand short for a month's supply and a session in Chinatown._

_Alec exhaled._

_And then smiled._

_"You've been watching for a while," Alec drawled. He slowly turned around to lean against the rough brick wall. "Did you like what you saw? I was closing up for the night, but I can fit you in."_

_The end of the alley remained empty, but the silence was filled with hesitation._

_"You got this far," Alec recited. He folded his arms and stayed leaning against the wall. "No point being shy now."_

_"I—I never done this before."_

_Uh huh. Alec recognized that tenor from yesterday in the other alley. It was now hands off since the kid there killed one of his competitors._

_"I'm a very good teacher," Alec purred. "I even give extra credit."_

_There was an audible swallow._

_"But the offer ends in ten seconds. Nine, eight, seven—"_

_"Wait, wait, wait!"_

_A shadow stepped into the alley._

_Alec smirked. "Let class begin..."_

__A finger cautiously tapped Alec on the chin.

Alec jerked awake. He recovered quickly as soon as he realized he has Logan pulled tight against him. For a breathless moment though, he nearly rolled them off the couch.

"Thought I better wake you," Logan murmured, "Before you fell asleep on the couch."

Alec untangled his limbs around Logan. "Uh yeah. Thanks." He brushed a palm over Logan's top. He felt Logan's heart thrum calm and steady. His own breathing slowed.

"Okay?" Logan asked, more into Alec's hair. 

"Funny." Alec dropped his head back over the quiet _thump-thump_. "I was going to ask you the same thing." At Logan's inquiring hum, he added, "Next morning awkwardness in bed and all that stuff."

"Maybe." Logan exhaled slowly. "If we were in a bed."

Alec nipped him on the clavicle. Logan's body shook with silent laughter.

"So we're all right?" Alec idly rubbed his hand up and down Logan's chest. 

Logan paused. "I hope so." He dropped his hand over Alec's on his chest, stilling it. "Have we decided what _this_ is?"

No, they haven't. Alec wanted to tell Logan that; a definition, a name, a label should be assigned. 

A designation.

"Maybe," Alec croaked, "Maybe we should hold off on that for now? Don't want to complicate things."

Logan's fingers threaded into Alec's. "Sure."

Alec studied their clasped hands. He soaked in the feel of solid warmth pressed against him, callused fingers woven through his fingers and not grabbing, reaching, arrogant because they paid for it. He smelled musk. He smelled the salty gravy from their dinner. He smelled the clean soapy scent of Logan's hair. He rolled his shoulders forward to align their bodies closer. He twisted so his knee could shove between Logan's legs again. His arms snaked around Logan's middle. He breathed in and exhaled, his body sagging against Logan.

Abruptly, a thought intruded.

"Oh crap."

Logan drowsily murmured inquiringly. The sound vibrated down Alec's back. He pushed his nose under Logan's chin and laved the vulnerable skin underneath.

"What's wrong?" To Alec's disappointment, Logan turned his head away from his mouth to peer down at him.

Memory soured Alec's haze. He sighed and dropped his head onto Logan's shoulder.

"What?"

"I think I'm a snuggler," Alec grumbled.

Logan's body shook.

"Oh," Logan managed. "Oh no."

Alec half squinted glared up at Logan, whose face was very bland. 

"Seriously, man. We weren't trained for this. This is unchartered territory here."

"I see," Logan said slowly. He sounded very serious. "This could be a problem. Snuggling could be disruptive."

 _Smart ass._ Alec made a face against Logan's throat. "We should have contingency plans."

"We should."

Alec brushed a hand over the nipple straining under the shirt. He gave it a hard tweak and ground the fabric over pecs he suspected were now over-sensitized. Sure enough, Logan gave a little moan.

"I'm not kidding," Alec griped as he decided not to neglect the other. He captured the pebbled nub under soft cotton and worried it between his thumb and index. He pinched, he massaged; he knew if he tore Logan's shirt off— _tempting but behave_ —Logan's chest would be red and flushed from Alec's attentions.

Alec exhaled over the shirt, covering the area with warm, moist air. Logan rolled his shoulders back as he strained towards Alec's mouth. 

"If I grab onto you," Alec whispered as he flicked his tongue along the strong line of Logan's jaw. "I'm not letting go. Don't even think you'll be able to get away."

Logan shuddered, his eyes sliding shut as he whimpered. Alec grazed his front teeth over and over the hard nubs he could feel. He slipped his hands under Logan's shoulders, unabashed as he used his strength to yank Logan's body towards his mouth. He worried the fabric, laved the cotton until it clung obscenely to Logan's chest. His pelvis snapped forward into Logan's hip, pinning the other's lower half to the couch as his upper half was tasted and savored.

"I don't share," Alec murmured as he attacked Logan's throat, nibbling and suckling tender skin. "And I like to take my time. Snuggling could mean hours. And in such close proximity..." He left purpling marks, tattooing flushed skin; Logan's very own bar code. His skin bruised easily under Alec's mouth, but Alec couldn't stop. He sampled. He devoured.

Logan groaned; long fingers dug painfully into Alec's shoulders. He bucked, his body caught in the backlash of Alec's thrusts, his undone jeans slipping lower on his hips, his briefs dragged to tangle inside. His lax cock, trapped, filled helplessly under the rough friction.

"The taste of you," Alec growled into the side of Logan's Adam's apple. "If I grab hold of you, I'm going to have every inch of you..." 

Alec blindly reached back for the small dish of oil. 

Something fell to the floor. 

A wine glass shattered. 

It didn't matter. Alec sloppily coated the rest of the oil on his hand. He snaked it in-between their bodies and reclaimed Logan's cock. His grip was strong, his strokes firm, its intensity guided by Logan's startled cries whenever he felt Alec's touch. He pressed down and up along the vein, coaxing the cock to fill. He could feel Logan shaking, gasping as Alec persisted, fist pumping him to get him to feel even a glimmer of—

With a shudder that could have shook Alec off, Logan came once more. His head threw back, his torso writhing as he came with a cry. 

His release sank into Alec's bones. He heard himself snarl, ramming his hips into Logan and came a third time. His head spun; his skin felt tight. Alec's limbs sang as he rode out his own orgasm against Logan's trembling body. He punctuated their simultaneous releases with one last greedy mark below Logan's clavicle.

Logan panted quietly into Alec's throat; his upper body was still pulled tight to Alec's chest.

"See?" Alec murmured as he carefully lowered Logan to lie fully prone across the couch. "This could be a problem."

Logan blinked up half mast at Alec. He framed Alec's face with his hands.

"I could think of worse fates," Logan murmured as he pulled Alec down to his mouth.

 

"I can't feel my ass."

Alec wiggled some more in the couch. And sure, his ass was numb, but other parts of him weren't as numb. He stilled because only one of them had a bioengineered limitless libido.

Logan groaned. He reluctantly lifted his head off Alec's shoulder. He blinked blearily at Alec. 

"What time is it?"

"Time for you to stop squashing me." Alec nudged and prodded. Logan sat up with a grimace.

"Bed's more comfy," Alec suggested. Logan hesitated. 

Alec held up his hands. "To sleep. Honest." He looked ruefully at his crotch. "I think you broke it, Heather."

Logan scoffed. "Doubtful." He stared pointedly at it, already half mast under denim because shit, the musky smell of sex between them coupled with Logan's ever present almonds and coffee was a powerful aphrodisiac.

"Um..."

"I don't think I can survive any more _snuggling_ ," Logan said wryly. A shadow flickered across his face. "Also...I-I don't think I can..." 

Alec kissed the side of Logan's jaw, stopping the stumbling words before they could dig a deeper hole into his chest. 

"I mean it," Alec murmured against Logan's skin. "Just to sleep." He caught Logan glancing down at his exposed groin, his jeans still hanging off the bony ridge of his hips. Alec straddled Logan, blocking his view.

"Although..." Alec waggled his eyebrows at Logan. "The night's still young and my tattoo fund could use some fattening up." Immediately, Alec wished he said something else when Logan's eyes drifted to his neck with a frown. 

"Hey, I'm not going to Lee yet. We still got time. It's just in case, you know?" Alec looked over his shoulder.

" _Eyes Only_ planning on doing another sixty seconds again?" At Logan's slow nod, Alec perked up. "Same case as before?" He darkened when Logan didn't answer. "Seriously? I'll find out anyway when I turn on a television later."

"Dan Yearling."

Alec arched an eyebrow at Logan. 

"Former comptroller of the Seattle Banking board. Was manipulating stock market picks after the Pulse for his own purposes. He's currently a candidate for the SEC." Logan frowned. "He could destroy all our economic recovery." 

Alec wiggled his fingers. "Gimme."

Logan dug a hand into his back pocket in a squirm that made Alec's cock twitch with renewed interest. 

"I happen to have written down the address be—mmpf."

Alec's teeth clacked against Logan's when he crushed his mouth to the other. Logan stiffened with surprise. After a beat, he curled a hand around the back of Alec's head.

The two parted with a wet _pop_. Alec plucked the folded note out of Logan's slackened grip. He checked the address.

"Give me an hour before you broadcast your vigilante porn all over the airwaves." At Logan's sputter, Alec tweaked Logan's nose. He reached over, grabbed the wire spectacles and slid them over Logan's nose. 

"You might want to put on some clean pants first, Heather."

"Funny," Logan returned lightly, "I was going to say the same thing to you."

Alec looked down at himself. He made a face.

"Ah, better make that _two_ hours."

 

"Gotcha," Alec murmured with a smirk.

He was being followed.

For the third time this week, the itchy crawling feeling clung to Alec's skin. He paused, pretended to examine something on the ground. The alley was narrow, dark, with no easy access to the buildings. Which was exactly why he chose this shortcut.

Alec crouched to his boots and tugged at his laces. He eyed the puddle by his feet. Nothing stirred. The shadows stayed put. No reflection. No flicker. Yet it felt like ants crawled up his back or, Manticore's favorite: droplets of water endlessly pinging off his forehead.

There were no footsteps mirroring his. Nothing for the past few days since he decided he was going to catch the guy since Logan was determined to keep him out of everything else. 

Alec held his breath—easy feat when he wasn't underwater—and listened. He heard a rat skittered down the alley. A hungry child cried downwind from his location. A far away police car siren sang out, most likely too late to where it's going. 

Nothing.

Alec scowled. He wasn't mistaken. He felt the shadow trailing him as tangible as if it had climbed onto his back.

With a loud yawn to cover his feet adjusting its stance, Alec spun around quickly.

The alley was empty. The creepy feeling hasn't fled though. 

Alec picked up a fist-sized brick fragment. He bounced it up and down in his hand, testing its weight. Abruptly, he threw it down the middle of the alley. He tracked it as it ricocheted off a wall, off a lamp, speeding towards a doorway...

A shadow staggered back from the doorway thirty feet away to avoid the projectile.

"Hey!" Alec bolted from his spot. He vaulted over a dumpster. The shadow spun around and ran. _Twenty one feet._

Alec grabbed the end rung of the fire escape ladder and swung over. He landed in a run. 

_Eleven feet. Nine feet._

Alec darted through the labyrinth of concrete and grimy brick, ducked under collapsed power poles, skidded on slimy pavement.

_Eight feet. No, ten feet. Eleve—what the?_

Alec's legs burned. The guy was a lot faster than he'd expected. But the guy was also unfamiliar with these alleys and the nooks and crannies johns lurked. Lots of dead ends to do business in like the one his pursued was running towards.

The ten foot tall fence that marked the end of one sector and the start of the other loomed ahead. For some reason though, Alec's prey didn't pause. In fact, he or she sped up.

The distance to the fence shrank as Alec's long legs ate up the distance between him and his target. He could make out the ratty long brown coat, some sort of weird leather harness on its head. He reached. _Five feet._ _Four fee—_

With an odd whirring sound, the guy _jumped over the fence_.

Alec skidded to a halt but still managed to crash into the fence. He stared as the guy jumped the next fence. In a blur of feet, the guy vanished into the night.

Breathless, knees aching from the jarring stop, Alec gaped at the space before him.

"What the hell?"

 

The phone picked up after five long rings. 

_"Yeah?"_  
  
Alec frowned into the receiver. Not just because it felt oily and gross— _payphones, ew_ —but also because Logan sounded far too tired for 2100 hours.

"Hey." Alec eyed the skies. Clear so far, but he knew those buzzing pods would be floating by soon. "I didn't wake you, did I? You don't usually have normal bedtime hours like everyone else."

 _"No. I...just feeling a little tired."_ Logan coughed. The rustle of sheets came through despite the static. _"Everything all right?"_

"Not sure," Alec said curtly because the last thing he needed was imagining Logan in bed. "I ran into our admirer just now."

Logan sucked in his breath. _"You okay?"_

"Yeah, but we need to talk. You had dinner yet?"

There was a pause in the line. Even the rustling was gone.

 _"Maybe not tonight,"_ Logan hedged. _"There are a few leads I need to look into."_

Alec's mouth flattened. "Curfew's in ten minutes."

_"I'm not going out."_

"I'll just swing by and—"

_"No, tomorrow, all right?"_

Alec narrowed his eyes. Past the static, past the streets behind him, Alec heard the muffled hiss of pain.

"Sure," Alec said slowly. "Maybe breakfast?" 

"Sounds good." Logan's laugh was more of a huff. _"I'll warm up the peanut butter."_

"It wouldn't bankrupt you to throw in an egg or five." 

_"I'll take that in advisement."_ Logan quieted, his strained laughter dying down. _"Alec?"_

"What?"

 _"Watch yourself."_ Logan exhaled noisily into the phone. _"I'll see you tomorrow."_

Alec checked his watch. He should be able to beat curfew. "Sure. Night."

Logan murmured the same and hung up.

Still holding the receiver, Alec studied the phone with a frown.

 

Heather was an idiot.

Alec swept a hand over the hardwood floor in the office area. He didn't turn on the lights; he could hear Logan in the bedroom, typing with such force Alec's fingers throbbed in sympathy.

Even without the lights, Alec could make out the few strands of light hair caught in the seams. There was a slightly sticky film on the floor; a body laid on this spot long enough to gather skin oils and sweat.

Alec squinted in the dark. He could make out the whitish smudges of a wheel tread. Two, in fact, streaking the waxy hardwood floors when wheels abruptly left the ground. 

Lips pursed, Alec rose to his socked feet. He padded quietly to the fridge and grabbed an ice pack Logan always kept in the ready. He snagged the paper sack on the counter on his way to the bedroom. He stood by the door and listened to the _click-clack_ rattle of keys ruthlessly pounded on a laptop. 

After a few seconds, the key strokes started to grate. Alec set his jaw. He didn't barge in though. He took a deep breath and said, "Hey."

The typing stopped.

"Alec?"

"You better hope so," Alec drawled.

"I thought we said tomorrow."

Alec shrugged even though Logan couldn't see it. "Yeah, but I missed dinner trying to chase down our stalker." 

"You caught a glimpse of him?"

Alec made a face at the shut door. "Only enough to catch him jump a ten foot perimeter fence. _Twice_."

"Ten feet?"

"Yup, all three hundred and four point eight centimeters."

Logan exhaled sharply. "Damn. Do you think—"

"The guy's an X-5 like me? Maybe." Alec leaned into the door. He rubbed a thumb over the ice pad. "So...that's why I came anyway. That and food. Was thinking I would raid your fridge."

"...I, uh, didn't make dinner."

 _Not in the mood_ , Alec wanted to ask. Instead, he cleared his throat.

"That's okay," Alec said brightly. "I got burgers."

There was a heavy pause. The bed inside creaked.

"You wanted to raid my fridge, yet you brought burgers?"

"Wanted to see if you have anything that goes with real beef burgers." Alec dangled the paper bag. The paper crinkled noisily.

Logan sighed. 

Alec took it as an invitation—although he would have entered anyway—and stood under the doorway.

Logan gazed back at him from the bed; he balanced the laptop on his lap. He looked resigned.

Shaking off the déjà vu, Alec went over and gingerly sat on the edge of the right side of the bed. 

"There's a potato shortage again," Alec said as he set aside the food on the nightstand. "No fries."

Logan's eyes drifted to the ice pack he held. 

Logan's eyes slid away.

Alec's smile dropped.

"Any bleeding?" Alec said quietly. 

Surprise flickered across Logan's face. He wordlessly shook his head.

"Lean forward."

Alec found the lump easily on the back of Logan's head. He grimaced. While there was no blood, it felt hot to the touch. Logan flinched when Alec felt around it. He jerked when Alec pressed the ice pack on his head. He looked at Alec strangely when Alec wordlessly ripped the bag open to settle between them. He took the burger Alec gave him. He ate when Alec ate.

The burger was already cold, greasy without the lettuce and tomato. The cart ran out but offered onions and pickles in its place.

Alec wanted to grumble about it: lettuce and tomato was hard to get, but not pickles and onions? But he ate his burger with its soggy bun. He kept glancing over to Logan.

The burger was done in five bites. Logan gave up after three. Nevertheless, Alec gathered up the trash and threw it outside. He returned with a bottle of water and two acetaminophen pills; Logan kept plenty of those and nothing else. 

Alec picked at the covers. Logan took the pills; he drained the water bottle. Done, he sat there.

"I should have said something," Logan said finally, subdued. He kept the ice pack in place with one hand.

"No shit. I missed out a chance to check ou—I mean, check over your ass." Alec pouted. "Bitch."

Logan choked out a laugh. His eyes, though, were dull.

Alec peered into Logan's eyes. The pupils, at least, looked even. He dropped his gaze to the blanket.

"Seriously though," Alec mumbled, "kind of wished you said something when I called before."

"It was a little humiliating," Logan said to his blanket covered legs. "'Hello, Alec, how are you? By the way, I fell out of my goddamn chair and—'"

"Hey." Alec reached over and gripped Logan's free hand. The tremors pressed back into his palm. "I threw up on you on the roof. Tried to rip your head off. Remember?"

"You couldn't help that," Logan said immediately. "The seizures...It wasn't you."

Alec squeezed Logan's hand. "It wasn't you either."

Logan scoffed.

Alec's throat tightened. "You hurt anywhere else?"

Logan shook his head. 

"You sure? I would _love_ the chance to play doctor."

Logan's mouth twisted into a brittle smile. 

"Nothing hurts," Logan rasped.

 _Liar_. Alec flipped Logan's hand and poked at the palm. He rubbed his hand up Logan's arm but felt no breaks. Logan silently flipped back the blankets and suffered Alec feeling his legs for injuries in silence.

Alec cleared his throat. "I should..."

Logan was unreadable as he leaned into Alec, his forehead on Alec's shoulder.

Alec curled an arm around Logan as he tugged up the hem of Logan's top, just enough to see the pale expanse of Logan's lower back.

"I didn't feel anything," Logan muttered into Alec's shirt.

Alec smoothed a hand down. "It looks good. Nothing bruise—"

"You want to fuck me."

Alec jolted. His arm around Logan's middle loosened, but Logan didn't pull away. He remained hunched into Alec. 

"I, uh—what?" Alec stammered.

"I don't think I can feel much down there," Logan murmured. "But you can still...you wouldn't have to worry about hurting me. I probably wouldn't feel it if you just...you know."

Alec's eyes burned. He wrapped his other hand around Logan. The ice pack dropped to the floor.

Logan kept talking in that flat, defeated voice. 

"I was lying there on the floor. I don't even remember if it was because I leaned too forward or too back, but suddenly I was on the ground." Logan inhaled unsteadily. 

"For one second, I wondered why I didn't get up and then I remembered." Logan gave a funny laugh. Alec closed his eyes.

"Then the phone rang. One of my informants and there I was, on the floor, listening to him on my machine, and I thought: I can't even get to the f-fuc—phone."

Alec wanted to tell Logan to stop talking. He wanted to curl around Logan and let him use his arms and legs. He wanted to drag Logan to his mouth. He wanted to bracket his hands around Logan's ribcage to feel his heartbeat. He wanted Logan to stop talking.

"I lay there for, I don't know, five minutes? Fifteen? At one point, I thought why bother? Why..." Logan's voice hitched. "I finally dragged myself to the chair, threw myself into it, my foot got caught under the front wheel and—" 

Logan's hand shook as it tried to hold up the ice pack.

"I couldn't feel a thing. Not a goddamn—" Logan fidgeted to pull away. Alec burrowed his face into Logan's hair. Chilled, pointy strands of hair pricked him.

"I don't have anything to give you, Alec," Logan choked. His arms dropped to his sides. They were stiff and cold. "But I can give you this. If you want to...I mean, do it. It wouldn't hur—"

"It'll hurt," Alec rasped into Logan's hair. "Doesn't matter you were debriefed before it or got paid for it, it'll hurt. Doesn't matter if you're giving or receiving. You'll feel it."

Logan was stock still in Alec's arms. Alec wasn't even sure Logan was breathing now. 

Hesitantly, Logan raised his arms. He rested his hands on Alec's hips.

Alec screwed up his face. 

"I'm not traumatized," Alec bit out. "Don't think we were forced into anything. Orders were orders. When I got out, it was a useful skill to use to survive. Didn't you ever wonder why Manticore splice and diced us to be lookers?"

Thankfully, Logan said nothing.

Alec carded his fingers through Logan's hair, searching for the bump again, checking to see if it changed in size. Logan stayed where he was: forehead rested on Alec's shoulder, hands curled loosely on his hips, legs straight and unmoving on the bed.

"You could have told me." Alec found himself checking the rest of Logan's head for hurts, his fingers circling, searching everywhere. He rested his cheek on top of the bowed head. "This wouldn't have changed anything. I'm still going to want to grope you when you're not looking."

Logan made a wet sounding laugh. 

Alec wished Logan would look up, at least give him a visual on what was running through that broody brain of his. But he found he didn't mind, not really, sitting on the bed, holding onto Logan to make sure pieces wouldn't crumble away. 

"I'll admit," Alec confessed. He was glad Logan wasn't looking now. "I thought about it. Hell, I think that first month I knew you, it was all I could think about. But..." Alec's finger wrote out equations on Logan's back. "We don't need to, not until you're sure or...or ever." He blinked at himself when he realized the words spilled out didn't taste like a lie.

Logan sighed against Alec. 

"Is it enough?" Logan eased off and sagged back to the headboard. He looked drawn, as if the conversation leeched something inside him.

Alec made sure their gazes locked when he said firmly, "Yes." He tugged Logan's tiny laptop and set it on the nightstand. He shrugged out of his button down.

"Alec," Logan said wearily, "I don't think I'm up to—"

" _I'm_ not," Alec said. He wiggled out of his jeans, but kept his boxers on. He slid under the covers next to Logan. He yawned as loud as he could.

"Get down here." Alec helped Logan ease down to his back then rolling on to his side. Alec marveled how they seemed to fall easily into a pattern: Logan curling just enough so his lower back was flush to Alec's stomach, his lean yet muscular arms braided neatly with Alec's circling ones to combine hands to rest on Logan's belly. Alec's chin fit perfectly on the junction of Logan's neck and shoulder. Alec's knee slotted in just right between Logan's legs. Alec's feet tangled with Logan's cool ones with the ease of fitting puzzle pieces.

Alec exhaled. The knot between his shoulders that cinched tight since chasing his stalker was finally loosening. When he pressed his nose to the silken spot just behind Logan's ear, the tension bled out of his skin.

Logan lay curled inside Alec's embrace, boneless and warm. He breathed quietly, but Alec knew the other was still awake.

"Get some sleep," Alec murmured into that soft patch of skin. He felt Logan's chest expand against him. With a weary exhale, Logan shrank in Alec's hold.

Something caught in Alec's throat. He squeezed Logan tighter against him.

"It's all right," Alec croaked. "It is."

Logan didn't answer. He seemed to shrivel quietly inside Alec's arms.

Alec's face felt tight, his skin threatening to crack under the weight of an unfamiliar panic. He burrowed his face into Logan's hair.

"It's all right," Alec repeated. He felt their combined fists digging into Logan's stomach. He relaxed his hands but Logan kept pressing them harder into his abdomen as if trying to gouge something out.

"Am _I_ enough?" Alec blurted out.

Logan's hands stilled. Alec shook his hands loose. He wove their hands together and pulled them to Logan's chest and away from breakable flesh. The steady _thump-thump_ of Logan's heart tapped against their hands.

"You are," Logan said. "It's me—"

"Shut up," Alec hissed into the back of Logan's head. "Just—God, shut up. Stop talking. Stop thinking. We're taking this slow, but damn it, you keep trying to make us go backwards. Just shut up and stop deciding what I want. I got what I wanted. I don't know how, but I got it, so shut up. All right? For some reason, you think I'm en—If there's going to be more, we'll figure it out. Just..."

Alec crushed Logan to him. He wanted to feel Logan's heart beating against him. He wanted to feel Logan breathe against him. 

"Just shut up," Alec rasped. "Please." He smashed his burning face to Logan's nape. He felt fevered. He felt cold. How the hell did he feel both? 

Logan took a shuddering breath that went through Alec. 

"Sorry," Logan whispered. "I guess...I was feeling a bit useless."

Alec scoffed. 

"You? Useless? Your hacks got half of Seattle's population shaking in their corrupt boots; the other half sporting a hard on panting after your porny voice."

Logan rubbed Alec's fists still shielding his heart.

"You think too highly about my vocal skills."

"You have to listen to your own hacks sometimes, Heather." Alec nosed Logan's hair. He rubbed his nose carefully around the bump. "Head still hurts?"

"No." 

Alec ran his hands over Logan's chest, massaging, circling, memorizing.

"You sure nothing else hurts?" Alec whispered.

Logan pulled Alec's hands to his lips. 

"Nothing else hurts," Logan breathed. "Thank you."

Alec grunted, unsure what he was being thanked for. All that mattered was Logan felt solid again, his heartbeat a lulling rhythmic melody against him and his hands wrapped tightly around Alec's fingers. Logan held on, almost for dear life; Alec couldn't begrudge him for it.

"Get some sleep," Alec said softly. "I expect an awesome breakfast tomorrow."

Logan huffed out a shaky laugh. He sagged into the bed, into Alec. Moments later, Logan's breathing even out.

Alec lay curled over Logan's back. He stared at a mole on Logan's shoulder, where the neckline sagged low. It was a birthmark, maybe a flaw. A dot that marred the skin stretched over muscle. Perfect imperfections. 

Heat filled Alec's chest and when it unfurled, his eyes inexplicably burned. He tightened his hold, stopping when Logan sleepily murmured.

"It's enough," Alec whispered into sleep warmed skin. He rested his head against Logan's nape and followed him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers,
> 
> Be assured I fully intend to have this story completely posted here. I want this done before Christmas so I can post the final story to this arc next year. I'm still aiming for that. 
> 
> This story is _done_. Before post, I flesh it out, add things, fix things, _delete_ things (oh lord, so much deleting, /weep/) and suddenly I'm late in posting. I have no excuse this time. I blame _me_ for working and working on scenes past deadlines. 
> 
> This story has already surpassed my original draft lengthwise as I addressed one more issue, added one more sex scene, worry over one more plot line. But I promise you, we're nearly there. 
> 
> This will not be neglected. I promise.
> 
> Hanging Head,  
> me


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: smut (okay, maybe not quite a warning, lol)
> 
> Spoilers: parallels some moments in "I Am and I Am A Camera" and "Female Trouble"

Alec kept forgetting Matt Sung was a detective.

Dark eyes considered Alec. Leaning against his car with his mouth pursed and his arms crossed, Sung looked like he was debating whether to arrest Alec or not.

"Was it something I said?" Alec joked weakly. He balanced carefully on his motorcycle. He bounced lightly on the balls of his feet. He was already nine minutes late for dinner when Sung intercepted him coming out of the Chinese takeout place.

The smell of salty Chinese food wafted up from behind in the compartment under the seat. Alec's nostrils flared at both the smell and the fact he was now _ten_ minutes late.

"Saw Logan this morning," Sung said at last.

Alec rolled his eyes. "I know. I was there, remember?" Sung had sent the coordinates yesterday via Original Cindy with yet another badly drawn owl on the work order. You would think Sung's drawing skills should have improved over time; each owl looked more psychotic than the last. 

After checking the perimeter was clear, Alec had gone to work. On time. Normal nearly cried into a pile of call sheets. 

"Everything okay?" Alec narrowed his eyes. Sung looked unscathed; he doubted the detective would have stood back if Logan got into a mess. His shoulders didn't relax though.

"Ex cons are still dying," Sung said curtly. "I've been trying to get a list of the next group of convicts to be released, but I've been stonewalled."

Alec's mouth pressed together. "And _Eyes Only_ or Logan couldn't do any hack magic to get the list?"

Sung sighed; the question was nothing new apparently. "The department of prisons keeps the lists on site, off servers to avoid the names getting released early. They're trying to avoid public outcry." 

Alec rolled his eyes. "Well gee, I wonder why?"

"If they did their time, the public has no problem with it, but to be released only so the books could be balanced?" Sung shrugged. "Some might not like it."

"Someone _definitely_ didn't like it." Alec reminded him. He rested his elbows on his handlebars. He bit the inside of his cheek, deep in thought.

"I might be able to get the list." At Sung's look, Alec grinned cheekily. "Maybe. I didn't say that out loud. Did I say that out loud? That was crazy talk. It must be the hunger talking."

Sung's eyes drifted over to the back of Alec's motorcycle. The corners of his mouth ticked up.

"Dinner? Or date?"

Alec grinned crookedly. "Thought you didn't want to know."

"I don't, but..." Sung hesitated.

"But?"

Sung's eyebrows knitted together. "Logan mentioned something about you that concerned me."

Alec smiled tightly. He was wondering when the shovel talk was going to rear its head. "Look, I agree. If you're saying I'm not good en—"

"—stalker."

Alec's words went to a strangled halt. "Huh?"

Caught mid-sentence, Sung raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"Nothing." Alec poked at his small dash. He'll need to swap for gas soon. "Nothing. I thought...Uh, so, Logan mentioned my new friend?"

Sung frowned briefly. "Have you seen him hanging around recently?"

"Nah. I think I scared him off last week in the alley."

Sung's scowl deepened. "You shouldn't be going into alleys by yourself, especially not with someone following you."

Alec was about to scoff when he caught the furrow between Sung's brow; a furrow he'd seen with Original Cindy and Logan. His stomach did a funny leap. He forgot what he was going to say.

"Uh, okay, no lurking in alleys. Got it." Flustered, Alec looked around him left and right.

"If this gets serious, let me know." Sung handed over a business card. It was bent at the corner and had a rust colored line around its perimeter, telling of a clear card protector it was once in. "This is my number at the precinct. In the back is my personal number. If things get hairy, call me or Logan, okay?"

Alec blinked at the card he held. It felt surprisingly heavy in his hand. He lifted his eyes up at Sung.

"That's it?"

Sung looked baffled. "Was there something else?"

"...No, uh, nothing." Alec memorized the two numbers easily. He couldn't bring himself to return the card though. He held up the card. Oddly, no joke came to mind. He smiled lopsidedly at Sung. 

"Thanks."

Sung nodded. His face smoothed out.

"Seriously, I think I can get you that list."

Oops, there was that frowny face again. Sung narrowed his eyes towards Alec's toothy grin.

"Don't ask," Alec suggested. "Plausible deniability."

"I wasn't about to." 

 

The orange glaze begged to be licked off.

Alec tore his gaze away from the smear of shiny sweet and sour sauce across Logan's lower lip. He squirmed in his seat across the coffee table, cross-legged on the carpet. He poked his chopsticks into his food. Unbidden, his eyes drifted back to Logan.

Nibbling, mouth pursed slightly as he chewed, Logan was oblivious to Alec. He appeared focused on plucking out another juicy bit that left his lower lip glistening; a pink lower lip slightly swollen where Alec had tugged it with his teeth, because it was the best way to apologize for being seventeen minutes late—

"You want some?"

 _Yes!_ Alec shook out of his reverie. He stared blankly at the carton Logan tilted towards his way. The sticky sheen of sauce inside the carton reminded him.

Alec lifted up the carton on his lap in return. "Still got a lot of beef and broccoli." He peered into Logan's food. His jaw clenched. 

"Want to switch?" Alec mentally compared Logan's container with his. "You don't seem to like that sweet and sour pork a lot."

Logan briefly lifted his shoulders.

"Not in the mood?" Alec muttered. He made sure it was loud enough for Logan to hear.

A shadow flickered across Logan's face. He smiled tightly. Wordlessly, Logan speared a good sized nugget with his chopsticks. Alec was momentarily distracted by those deft fingers manipulating the thin utensils. 

"Try it," Logan said.

A lumpy round morsel materialized inches from Alec's mouth.

Lydecker glared back at Alec, daring X-494 to take a bite. 

_Go ahead, soldier_.

Alec froze. 

The food wavered.

"Alec?" Lydecker evaporated; Logan peered back with clear concern.

Steeling himself, Alec leaned across the table. He made sure he ate the whole piece in one chomp. He ignored Lydecker chastising him. He ignored how his stomach was already rebelling. He made himself chew, eyes screwed tight because even a semi-translucent Lydecker was a fucking appetite killer. He swallowed and it felt like a rock going down.

Alec's eyes flew open.

Logan smiled faintly. "It's not pork. I think it's chicken." He shrugged. "I wasn't in the mood for _that_."

Alec made a show of swallowing again. He wiped his mouth with a napkin before he cleared his throat.

"Hate to break it to you." Alec swapped cartons with Logan. Under Logan's scrutiny, he gulped down two more meaty chunks. "It's not chicken either." 

Alec snickered at Logan's wide eyed look. "Relax, it's still edible, just probably not something you would normally find in a menu in a restaurant with the word ' _Chez_ ' on it."

Logan glowered at Alec.

Alec gestured towards the carton Logan now held. "That's good." He waited until Logan dropped a thin beefy strip into his mouth before adding, "I'm pretty sure it's beef." He erupted into chortles when Logan flicked a piece of broccoli at him. He bit back a smile when Logan started eating, albeit with a wary eye into the carton.

The carton's bottom was a pool of orange tinged grease by the time Alec was done. He belched and patted his belly with a sigh. He looked up in time to see Logan averting his eyes.

"Excuse me," Alec quipped. His smile faded when Logan faced him, his eyes shadowed with worry. "Oh, that's not a good look, Heather."

"What did I do?" Logan murmured.

Alec made a face. "Okay, you lost me."

Logan lifted his chopsticks. "Before, when I asked you to try, you had this...look."

Stomach churning, Alec managed an "Oh. That." He lifted his shoulders. "Nothing. You took me by surprise."

The shadows didn't clear from Logan's expression. "It didn't look like it was a good surprise."

Alec grimaced. "It's nothing."

"Alec—"

"It's fine." Alec nodded jerkily to Logan's food. There was a little bit left; by Logan's standards, it was still impressive how much he ate. 

Logan looked vaguely ill, discomfited. The food was probably too low brow for the rich guy. 

"You done?" Alec asked curtly.

Wordlessly, Logan handed the carton over.

The now cold broccoli felt prickly going down Alec's throat and the remaining beef tasted like ash. Nevertheless, Alec made a point to eat all of it. Every god damn morsel. It was like swallowing nails. When he was done, the food sat on his chest, refusing to go down, threatening to come up.

"You all right?" Logan asked quietly. 

"Why wouldn't I be?" Alec said, maybe too loudly because Logan grimaced. Alec roughly wiped the napkin across his mouth. His mouth vaguely burned.

"I have some cobbler in the fridge." Logan twisted awkwardly as he struggled to transfer back into his chair. "The market brought up pears today so I thought—"

"Actually," Alec blurted. His stomach lurched at the thought of more food. "I have some breaking and entering I need to do. For..." He waved weakly towards his neck. The itching was starting to subside. 

Logan dropped into his wheelchair with a grunt. He glanced over.

"Oh." Logan smiled, strained. "Sure. Do you need any leads?"

"Nah. I got a specific place in mind tonight." Alec rose to his feet. The food reeled in his gut, banging away at his insides. "I ah, maybe we could save the cobbler for later?"

It hurt to see when Logan's eyes didn't match the rest of his face. Alec wanted to cringe, especially when the gaze lingered on him.

"It'll keep." Logan gestured towards his office area. "I...there's something I wanted to look into anyway so I'll probably be up late."

"Heather, you're cute, but even you need beauty sleep." Alec half-heartedly leered. Logan's expression remained neutral.

"I'll probably be up all night," Logan repeated for some reason.

Alec sobered. "Maybe I'll swing by for breakfast tomorrow?"

Something fleeted across Logan's face. He nodded.

Alec told himself he wasn't running while he climbed back up to the roof.

 

_"Disappointing."_

_He lifted tearing eyes at the shadow looming over X-277, still hunched over the toilet. He recoiled, but stifled it quickly and forced his knees to lock. He stood with the rest of his platoon, as straight as his twisting stomach would allow. The retching he could hear didn't help. But he didn't dare look over to X-277. None of them did._

_"Get up."_

_Tick, tick, tick, the stopwatch tattled away the longer X-277 lay curled over the toilet. He saw the shadow take a step closer and the line behind the tableau collectively tensed._

_"X-277, I will not ask again."_

_There was a whimper. X-277 tried to get up to obey, but collapsed back by the toilet. The retching recommenced._

_The shadow sighed. He did that a lot ever since he discovered the entire platoon succumbed only five days of starvation. They broke their resolve and ate the MREs they found in the supply bunker._

_"You had such promise," the shadow murmured before he took out his gun._

_The shot rang out. The retching abruptly stopped. Yet now he was the one who felt like throwing up._

Alec growled under his breath. He scrubbed the back of a gloved hand across his mouth. His lips burned with the memory of the acrid aftertaste of the poisoned MREs. 

Where the hell did that come from? Alec wanted to spit out an aftertaste that shouldn't exist, because it was long time ago. Fuck, he ate at Logan's a number of times and he didn't faze out like some loon then. Why now? Why in front of Lo—

 _Concentrate_ , Alec snarled to himself. He took a deep breath and let it wash down his vibrating muscles. He screwed his eyes shut, counted to three and opened his eyes again, rebooting himself to the task at hand.

The Department of Prisons looked like the Pulse had never happened. New windows, unmarred concrete walls, guards patrolling in the newest gear, the building almost shone. It even had its own dedicated power line. The department and its prisons enjoyed the privilege of receiving a good chunk of the state's anemic budget in exchange for keeping the worst (or so they claimed) of society off the streets.

Alec was impressed. Sort of. 

The guards rotated on a six hour shift, but there was a window of fifty seconds when old and new guard intersected at the office to sign the roster. Not enough for the average guy to get past them to access the only entry point into the building.

Manticore spent a shit load of money to make sure X-494 wasn't average.

Alec ducked under the concrete barricade in front of the main entrance. He tracked the guard crossing the courtyard to meet his relief. As soon as the guard entered the office, Alec bolted.

Over the parked cars. Under the gate. Over the barbed fence. Past the post. Behind a pillar. And straight to the fire door.

It took thirty two seconds. Hm. Maybe like swimming, he should hold off for an hour after eating. It took him three seconds longer than expected.

The floor where the internal servers were kept had tighter security. Too bad their scrutiny was fixed on the floor, not their ceilings. Alec wiggled through the complex duct systems. He waved down to three guards as they patrolled under him. 

To Alec's amusement, the list was burned into an archaic CD. He admired the rainbow sheen of the round disk before tucking it into one of the many pockets he sown into his black jacket. Then he backtracked the way he came. He waved to another guard who strolled by under the section of duct. Alec smirked as he moved slowly on his stomach across the metal surface. Four minutes before the guard circulated back into the courtyard again.

_Tick, tick, tick._

Alec's muscles locked.

Inside the duct, two bends before the exit, Alec couldn't move.

_Tick, tick, tick._

The sound was far away but it reverberated throughout the duct work. It bounced from surface to surface, like ripples in the water, crashing over Alec again and again like a flood.

_"...told you it was less!"_

_"...never should have betted on you..."_

Laughter rumbled through, cutting through the echo of a stopwatch.

Alec's muscles unlocked. He exhaled shakily and blinked burning eyes at his watch. Damn it. He missed his window.

The thin metal walls were slowly crowding into his space. At least, it felt like it, pulsing with the remembered echo of a stopwatch not unlike whatever the guards were using for whatever bet they were placing. Seattle's tax dollars at work. 

Alec belly crawled closer to the vent that would drop him into the exit's stairwell. Door. Two steps into the courtyard. Then somehow past the guard and out of the zone.

But he missed his window.

Alec inhaled long and slow. He could stay here, hole up for six hours until the next shift. He's been in tighter spaces for much longer times.

_Tick, tick, tick._

A distant hoot of laughter informed Alec whatever the guards were doing was about to repeat. He gnashed his teeth.

_Tick, tick, tick._

_Tick, tick, tick._

Alec bit his lower lip. He tasted blood but he suspected it wasn't from his lip. He laid there, stomach knotting, his head squeezing tight, his throat locked around a scream he wasn't clear on why it wanted to come out.

_Tick, tick, tick._

_Tick, tick, tick._

Breathing harshly, Alec rested his forehead on his fists. He could wait it out. Damn it, he sat hunched over in an oil barrel for ten hours with his rifle, waiting for the assemblyman to come out. He could do six hours. Three hundred sixty minutes. Twenty one thousand, six hundred seconds.

_Tick, tick, tick._

"Get it together, 494," Alec hissed to himself. 

_Tick, tick, tick._

Chlorine burned the back of his throat. He could hear 277 throwing up in his ears. A circular saw whined as it neared his femur. He could feel that damn stopwatch like a beast gnawing on his bones.

The duct shrank tighter and tighter around him. The air thinned. And it was getting too hot.

Alec bit his fist. He tasted blood. 

The walls didn't retreat.

_Tick, tick, tick._

_Tick, tick, tick._

**_Tick, tick, tick._ **

_Fuck it_.

Trembling, drenched in sweat, Alec squirmed until he reached the vent. He did a perfunctory check for guards before he dropped out of the vent in an awkward sprawl. He caught the vent grill before it clattered loudly on the floor.

Alec crept to the fire door and slipped his blade tip into the edge. With the alarm cut, the door silently opened.

The guard paced diagonally across the courtyard. Garbed in his body armor and helmet, the short guard appeared top heavy and unfortunately, very alert. 

Alec slipped out the door and ducked behind one of the four pillars in the courtyard. He eyed the rows of windows above him. They all looked into the courtyard.

On the fifth floor, a round spot of light bobbed in and out. Soon, the guard would make his way to Alec's side, maybe peer out, see Alec, sound the alarm and—

A whoop from the distance sang out into the courtyard. Opposite and above him, a face pressed out the window in time to see a guy in a ratty, flappy coat hopped— _hopped_ —over the startled guard in the courtyard and over the guard post shed. 

Seconds later, a deluge of boots stomped past Alec's spot towards the direction of the maniacally cackling human kangaroo. 

Alec gaped briefly after the brigade. He looked around him at the emptied courtyard. 

A minute later, Alec saluted the vacant guard post as he strolled out the front gate. 

 

The light was still on.

Alec stood by the window. He stared at the textured glass partition and the watery figure behind it. Logan hunched over his computer, diligently typing away.

It was like Logan said: he was still up at 0100 hours. Alec found himself back at the foot of Logan's building, staring up at the lights. He should have left. Normal, still grumpy because his newly minted girlfriend decided he/it/she preferred to be a lesbian, gave Alec a double shift. _Jam Pony_ was across town. He would have to ride his cycle back there, under the speed limit to avoid hoverdrones and work the next twelve hours. He should just head back. His dump was closer, he wasn't hungry for cobbler, his joints ached, he was too tired for this shit—

When had Alec lowered himself down to the window, he saw it was left wide open. Some of Logan's files were blown off the dining table.

It wasn't clear how long Alec stood in the living room, but when Logan pushed away the partition he seemed unsurprised. He veered his wheelchair closer, approaching Alec as he would a landmine.

They stared at each other for a long moment.

Alec dropped his gaze. 

"I don't want to talk about it," Alec mumbled. He tensed, waiting for Logan's protest.

Instead, Logan just murmured, "Want to save the cobbler for breakfast?"

Speechless, Alec could only shrug. 

Logan curled a hand around Alec's fingers. "Why don't you get some sleep?"

Alec found himself blinking at the green toothbrush in the guest bedroom. He could hear Logan in the other bedroom, the water running, the doors opening and closing. 

Figuring Logan had the right idea, Alec did the same. He felt a little gross, but he suspected all the fancy soap Logan has wouldn't do squat. He took a shower anyway and watched the soap swirl between his toes. He brushed his teeth and watched the foam spin down the drain. He went to the other bedroom and watched Logan ease himself into the bed.

As soon as the covers were peeled back, Alec silently crawled in. He stopped Logan before he could roll away from Alec to lie on his side again.

"Could you, um, face the other way? Towards me?" Alec stared at Logan's profile. "I mean, if you want..."

Logan's head lolled on the pillow to consider Alec. The rest of his body followed with some difficulty and with a grimace he couldn't quite hide.

Alec draped a leg over Logan's hips, a hand curled on Logan's shoulder to prevent him from rolling in either direction. He stared at Logan and at the tiny reflection in his gold ringed eyes.

"This okay?" Logan murmured. He slipped an arm under Alec's shoulders.

"Funny, I was going to ask you that." Alec smiled but it took too much effort to hold it. He rubbed a hand up and down Logan's back. He could feel the minute spasms under the thin shirt.

"You should sleep flat tonight." Alec reluctantly pulled away to brace Logan to lie prone. "This isn't good for your ba—"

Logan brushed a hand over the top of Alec's head, stopping him. 

"What do you need, Alec?" Logan's hand swept over Alec's head in small strokes. His palm barely touched Alec's short hairs, but Alec felt the weight of Logan's hand anyway. Logan's hand seemed to soak up the tightness wrapped around Alec's head.

A choked sound—maybe a cough, maybe a sneeze, maybe a dying word—clawed out of Alec's raw throat.

Logan's hand never stopped. It traveled from the crown of his head, down to Alec's nape, stopping short of the bandage that was never enough to cover Alec's screwed up mark.

Alec wiggled closer and burrowed his face into Logan's shoulder. He mirrored Logan: his hand under Logan's shirt, stroking down the bumps and ridges of Logan's back. His hand stopped short where he could feel the too smooth skin of a roundish scar. There were several, in fact, just below Logan's waist that peppered skin that was a touch cooler than the rest. 

The skin warmed slightly under Alec's touch, but the puckered scars remained cold, too smooth, the skin around it stretched painfully too tight.

And Alec freaked out over a fucking piece of Chinese food.

Alec shrank the circumference of his arms around Logan. 

"Sorry," Alec mumbled into Logan's shoulder. "Sorry. About before. I...Sorry."

Logan kissed the top of Alec's head. He said nothing. His hand never stopped.

Alec gathered what he could of Logan against him. He pulled his hand out from Logan's shirt. He plucked at the cotton.

"Can I take off your shirt?" Alec whispered. His throat swelled twice its size; it was hard to get the words out. "I just...I know so far, we've just...I only want to touch you. Can I..."

Logan nodded. 

Carefully, one hand on Logan, a hip or a shoulder rolled here and there, Alec managed to tug Logan's shirt over his head. With Logan's help, Alec's shirt followed Logan's to the floor. Then, after they exchanged a look, the boxers both followed with the same care.

Alec felt chilled despite the covers drawn over them. When he threw a leg over Logan's now bare flank, his skin heated up quickly. 

Logan surprised Alec by pulling him closer. Their cocks brushed and Alec's filled rapidly at the feel of velvet and sharp silk against him. Logan's dick lay quiet between them. 

With a pang of guilt, Alec rolled his pelvis back.

Logan's warm hand curled around his cock, stopping him. He began to pump Alec, silently, steadily, staring at Alec inches from his nose.

With a groan, Alec dropped his flushed face onto Logan's shoulder. He could feel Logan's chest hairs, cool and still damp from his shower, brushing across his own smooth chest. As his hips rolled into Logan's fist, he pressed his chest flushed with Logan's. 

Logan's arm curled in around Alec's shoulders. The bed swayed as they rocked, Alec crushed Logan to him as he desperately fucked Logan's fist. 

Bare skin, both smooth and softly furred with hair, grazed across Alec's skin, his weeping cock, his nipples straining taut on his pecs. He could feel Logan's chest, dark nubs pebbling and painful looking, flushed and peaked on dark, rosy skin. 

Alec snapped his pelvis into Logan's grip as he burrowed closer, his leg bending to align Logan completely to the length of his body. Logan felt warm, boiling even, as Alec glided against him with a pace that left patches of raw skin on them both.

"You feel real," Alec mumbled as he crushed his mouth under Logan's chin. "You feel so real. You taste real and—God, I'm going to..."

Logan's grip was crushing tight; his hand Alec only now realized was smooth and slick with lotion that smelled like almonds. Logan's pace quickened to match Alec's grinding. 

The bed trembled. The mattress creaked. The air thickened over them.

Alec's gasping drowned out Logan's murmurings into his ear. What was said, it wasn't clear as he rocked against Logan, fire building at the base of his spine, rushing up to cinch tight around his hips...

With a cry and a burst of heat, Alec came messily over Logan's fist. He clamped his hand over Logan's hand on his still hard dick. With both their fists to finish him off, Alec came once more. He came violently. He came all over Logan's stomach and soft cock. He came with Logan's name ripped from his lips.

Their mouths collided together. Damp hands smeared Alec's come all over their chests, Logan's mouth, Alec's nipples. 

Alec whimpered as Logan's mouth latched onto a come stained nipple. Logan suckled, his callused hand back around Alec's cock. He tortured the nub until Alec came for a third time. 

Logan couldn't lick the other one clean because Alec retaliated with a come covered hand savagely pumping Logan's cock until it sluggishly filled and wept over Alec's belly. 

And as Logan gasped Alec's name, Alec yanked Logan to him, rutted his returning erection against Logan's stomach and came over and over again. His head seemed to burst as well as he covered Logan's body with his come. 

Limbs, faces, mouths blurred into a fevered flurry of motions as Alec and Logan spent their bodies against each other. The feel of Logan's soiled body, skin hot from sex and from friction, muscles trembling with exertion...

Alec growled as he clamped his mouth into that perfect dent in Logan's collarbone and marked him where no one else was allowed.

Logan _screamed_ , body bucking within Alec's arms as his second and final orgasm jolted through him. He huddled into Alec's hold with a tiny whimper and a shudder.

Sound seemed to have returned. The room exhaled around them. Alec's ears popped. The air felt cold on their flushed bodies. He tasted bitter come in the back of his throat; he had licked Logan's flat stomach clean of his own come. His lower lip was puffy where Logan had hungrily gnawed it when he dove into Alec's mouth to chase after the bitter seed.

Panting, the two lay on their sides, staring half mast at each other.

The bed reeked of sex. They were both covered in sweat and come, but Alec couldn't find the strength to get out of bed, away from Logan, to fetch a damp washcloth. Maybe later. Maybe when his heart stopped trying to leap out of his throat.

Logan pressed his lips to the line of Alec's jaw.

Alec's eyes burned.

"I..." Alec drew Logan to him. He dropped his face into the crook of Logan's neck. He breathed deep. Under the musk and sweat, Logan still undeniably smelled like Logan. 

Alec sighed against Logan's throat. "I still don't want to talk about it." He dropped tiny kisses along Logan's damp jaw in apology.

A hand splayed between Alec's shoulders.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Logan said quietly. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Not ever again."

Logan's bedroom blurred around Alec. He wrapped his leg tighter around Logan's middle. Logan, thankfully, didn't complain about Alec playing a human burrito. He lay inside Alec's hold, calm, breathing steady, and solid.

"Can..." Alec swallowed. "Can we stay like this? For a little while? I'm too tired to get cleaned up."

Logan gripped Alec's arm. His lips brushed over Alec's brow.

"All night if you want, Alec." 

Alec did so they did just that. 

 

Cobbler made for a tasty breakfast.

"I still think I should have heated it up," Logan grumbled. He gazed down at the tray Alec set between them on the stripped down mattress. No one had the energy to change the sheets last night. Alec thought he was going to fall asleep while wiping each other clean.

"Do you want me near your stove?" Alec countered. He sat cross-legged on the right side of the bed. He took great care not to drip food onto his naked lap.

Logan thought it over. He sighed. "No, I suppose not."

"Hey, just be glad I made you breakfast in bed, Heather."

"Only counts if you make it, Dean." Logan spooned more cobbler into his pink mouth. 

Alec lowered his bowl to cover his groin. Maybe Logan was right; he should have put on some pants except his stuff was spinning merrily away in Logan's washing machine. 

The honey jeweled fruit fled Alec's chasing spoon in the bowl. He gazed down at the crumpled dessert.

"I think I put too much cinnamon." Logan frowned critically at his raised spoon. 

Alec swallowed. He reached over to tap Logan on the shoulder. When Logan turned around, Alec made a show of opening his mouth wide and pointing to himself.

Logan lowered the spoon instead of popping the treat into Alec's gaping mouth.

"You have nothing to prove." Logan dropped the spoon into his bowl.

Alec's mouth snapped shut. He shoveled a large heap of cobbler into his mouth.

Logan grimaced when Alec's spoon scrapped noisily again the bowl.

"I'm not trying to prove anything," Alec said as he gulped another mouthful. The cool mixture lumped uncomfortably in the bottom of his gut.

"Good." Logan ate another spoonful. He didn't look at Alec. "Because you don't need to."

Alec narrowed his eyes at Logan. "You can't trick me. Just because you're naked, it doesn't mean I'll be spilling my guts to you every time."

Logan's ears pinked and interestingly enough, the flush dots other parts of him as well like a treasure map.

"I told you before," Logan said calmly as he scraped more spoonful of dessert into his spoon, "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Plus..." His calm demeanor heated up to a withering look.

"The only reason why I'm naked is because somehow, you misplaced my clothes."

Alec didn't answer; he has a spoon in his mouth and he was a polite X-5, after all. He waggled his eyebrows at Logan and made a mental note to fish out Logan's shirt and boxers from under the bed later.

Logan snorted. He set his bowl down on the tray.

"I mean it," Logan said. "Nothing you don't want to."

Alec nodded. He listlessly stirred his spoon into the scant remains of the cobbler.

"It doesn't bother me," Alec muttered. "Not usually. I just....I don't know....it popped up in my head all of the sudden. I don't know what triggered it."

Logan didn't press for what "it" was. He idly smoothed a blanket over his legs. Alec had pulled it over Logan when he had slipped out of bed to _make_ breakfast.

"Our minds are funny like that," Logan murmured. 

" _Your_ minds," Alec pointed out. "We were supposed to be wired to avoid stuff like that. Strategically inconvenient."

"As much as Manticore likes to think," Logan said evenly, "they really don't have the ability to _wire_ anyone anything."

Alec's insides churned at the "M" word. He rotated the bowl in his hands counterclockwise.

"I don't know about that," Alec muttered, his eyes down.

Logan curled tapered fingers around Alec's ankle. He gave it a gentle tug. Alec unfolded and slid down the bed. He rolled on his side and gazed up at Logan. The other met his eyes with clear determined ones, the green dark as the finest jade Alec ever stole. 

Caught, Alec could only stare back.

"You're here." Logan put aside the tray. With Alec's help, he carefully settled on his side facing Alec.

Logan carded a hand through Alec's hair. He tracked his own hand as if memorizing the gesture. He dropped his gaze to Alec.

"You're here," murmured Logan. "That's proof enough that you're not _wired_. At the very least, not anymore."

Speechless, Alec mimicked Logan: running fingers through unruly brown locks that always flopped in different directions each time he touched them. Each piece felt charged; his fingers tingled as they danced through them.

"Not wired," Alec repeated. 

"Everything you do now, Alec, is your choice."

Alec carefully rolled Logan onto his back. He straddled Logan and began rocking his swelling cock against Logan's abdomen.

"I choose this," Alec whispered. He watched Logan's eyes darken in response, his breath quickening.

A hand curled loosely but surely on Alec's dick.

"Well," Logan murmured, "if that's what you want."

Alec bent down his head and proceeded to show Logan exactly what he wanted.

 

"Newbie! Hot run!"

"I've been here for months already," Alec whined to Original Cindy. He tugged his shirt over his torso. Well, Logan's, but Heather didn't need this one. And Alec's was too stained with...stuff. A quick wash didn't help.

"How the hell am I still a newbie?" Alec was grinning though when he caught the tube Normal sent spinning his way. He tried not to take it personally that it was aimed for his head. Normal was a little cranky Alec's attendance was no longer stellar. But seriously, he wasn't going to skip breakfast. This morning, Logan made _waffles_. 

Real maple syrup on them tasted almost as good as on Logan. Logan had said it was a waste of syrup when Alec smeared it all over his chest.

As if.

"Honey, you are a newbie until the next sucker comes along." Cindy slapped Sketchy's arm in greeting when he went by. Sketchy grinned over his shoulder before he jumped on his ride and blazed out of here, Normal's shrill "I said no riding on premises" at his heels was once again ignored.

"Sucker?" Alec placed a hand on his chest. "I'm not feeling the love. And to think you're my favorite lesbian."

Cindy stopped by his bike chained in the rack outside _Jam Pony_. She rolled her eyes. "I'm the _only_ lesbian you know."

"Not true. I know two—Wait, she's not a lesbian anymore after this thing I did with my finger and ice and—" Alec snickered as he ducked Cindy's hand. "Knock it off or you can find yourself another admirer!"

Original Cindy squinted at his bike seat. She plucked something off it. She studied whatever it was in her hand before flipping it around to Alec.

"Think you found one of your own."

Alec blanched at the grainy black and white picture of Alec leaping up to a fire escape ladder fifteen feet above.

 

"' _We should talk. There's going to be trouble'._ " 

Alec rocked on the balls of his feet on the couch until Original Cindy gave him a dirty look. He stopped, only because he was getting tired and went back to watching Logan pace with his wheelchair.

It was strange to walk into Logan's penthouse through the front door with Cindy. But Alec couldn't exactly rappel down with her. 

Besides that was _their_ thing.

"No one saw who placed this?" Logan finally halted in front of the couch.

"Couldn't really ask," Alec grumbled. He gestured towards the photo with its clipped love note with a derogatory hand. 

"Your boy's been busy," Cindy commented. She sat cross-legged on Logan's couch. She had insisted they headed over to Logan's now. Alec remembered how Logan looked: blinking up at the two for too long before finally letting them in. "I don't think this was one of our hot runs."

"Could have been done by one of your hot runs," Logan pointed out. "They see you two every day delivering packages in and out of _Jam Pony_ and must have made the connection somehow."

"Or it could be one of us," Cindy added darkly. "Original Cindy and her boys are straight up, but not all of us walk straight and narrow. Could be one of them dropping your boy love letters."

Alec caught Logan swallowing hard; he wished Cindy kept quiet.

"I park my bike outside. Anyone could have walked by and done it." Alec should have rolled it inside like everybody else but he tucked the motorcycle he'd _borrowed_ from that Steelhead. He wasn't going to leave that sweet ride lying around outside.

The wheelchair creaked as Logan started up again, as if he could bore a hole to the floor below. Which would suck because Alec once caught 26H idly scratching his crotch and staring at the back of Logan's head. If Mrs. Moreno hadn't been in the elevator with them as well, Alec would have beaten 26H with his own pervy dick. 

"Why is he approaching you now?" Logan spun his chair sharply back. "Did you see him again? Did he try to approach you? Did something change?"

Alec squirmed. "Uh, last week I was doing a little..." He darted his eyes to Cindy. "Extracurricular stuff. I missed the guard shift and was stuck. All of the sudden, this guy came out shouting like demented geese and jumped over the guards. Gave me an opening."

Logan halted. "Last week?" He squinted at Alec.

"Stuck?" Cindy repeated. She folded her arms across her chest.

Alec offered Logan a crookedly smile. Both Cindy and Logan's glowers deepened. Yeesh.

"Look." Alec gestured towards himself. Logan's eyes automatically followed and damn it, he was wearing those gray sweats again and Cindy was in the room and while Alec didn't mind, he was pretty sure the two weren't into voyer—

"Ouch!" Alec yelped. He flapped a hand between Cindy and his aggravated ear. He fanned the injured lobe and glared at her.

"Pay attention!" Cindy snapped. "You can molest him with your eyes later."

"Dean," Logan said, strained. "This is getting serious."

Alec hooked two fingers into one of the wheels. Logan's shoulders slumped. He let Alec tug the chair closer until Alec's knees bracketed his.

"I know," Alec said, sobering. "I didn't tell you about last week because the guy didn't do anything but helped me out of a tight spot."

"He might be helping you into a tighter one," Logan murmured, calming down nevertheless. He gave Alec a rueful look. He glanced down at the photo.

"This was taken right after _Crash_ ," Logan recalled. He gave Alec a meaningful look. He squinted at the photograph again. "Judging the quality, this was taken pretty far away."

"He didn't even get my good side," Alec complained.

Cindy scoffed. "All Original Cindy sees is your damn butt."

"Yeah, but my right cheek is my best feat— _stop hitting me_!"

Logan exhaled. He barely reacted to Alec and Cindy.

Alec jiggled the chair, rousing Logan. "Hey, all he's done so far is sent me a love letter and a really bad picture. Nothing else right?"

Logan looked pinched, but he offered a brittle smile. "Nothing with the police."

"Nothing on the street either," Cindy added. "People forget Original Cindy has ears and they talk. No one's been talking about some pain-in-the-ass dude leaping tall bounds."

"Hey! That's devastatingly _handsome_ pain-in-the-ass to you!"

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose. Alec shot Cindy a look. She frowned at Logan.

"You think it's something?" Cindy asked.

"He _always_ thinks it's something," Alec muttered. He immediately shot Cindy a glare. She lowered her hand. 

Alec shuffled over a few inches away, just in case. "I think this guy is fishing for a payout." And if he was lucky, the guy would only want cash. 

"The note certainly implies that." Logan agreed. His shoulders relaxed. "I could—"

"Nope."

Logan glowered at Alec. "If I can track him dow—"

"Nope."

Logan exhaled. "Dean—"

Alec got up to his feet. " _You_ insisted you wanted to go lone cowboy on your _Eyes Only_ stuff. Fine. I don't like it, but all right. This isn't _Eyes Only_ stuff. _This_ is mine."

Judging by the looks Cindy exchanged with Logan, maybe Alec came off a little whiny. Just a little.

"Look, let me track him down and see what this guy wants first before we go 'Oh my God, the sky is falling', okay?" Alec frowned when the two silently held a conversation on their own. 

"Okay?" Alec said, louder.

Reluctantly, they both nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: taking a break from ruining the turkey to post this before I am grossly late with my chapter. Again. Sorry for the short part! To those in America, happy Thanksgiving!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: **Sex** _(eyes tags)_ Okay, not really a warning. LOL. Brief non-con attempt mentioned.
> 
> Spoilers: mentions events earlier in this story, parallels "I am and I am Camera"

Someone was watching him watch Logan.

The creepy crawly feeling on the back of his scabbed neck was becoming a familiar one. 

Alec narrowed his eyes. He did nothing else. He stayed crouched on the rooftop edge, eye to his sniper scope like he was riveted to the tiny figures gathered in the alley across from him. 

To the right, there were decommissioned train cars piled up to form makeshift housing. Sagging cardboard doubling as doors flapped in the spring breeze. 

To the left, there was the edge of sector three, a once bustling bohemian neighborhood of artisans, now teeming with the smelly and despairing droves of day laborers. Concrete studios became day hotels. Warehouses hosted more humans than wares nowadays. Clotheslines zigzagged between buildings. They obscured the morning sun, prematurely sending the streets into shadow.

Logan was nodding, listening intently to the informant Matt Sung brought with him. The kid gestured with too thin arms inside too long sleeves. He handed Logan a file with unsteady hands. In return, Logan gave him a roll of money and a paper sack. Alec knew the bag contained the sandwiches Logan made this morning. Alec stuck the apple in it because the last time Logan met his informant Alec spied a little girl in a dirty brown dress huddled behind trash cans to wait for her brother to return. Whatever information the teen offered, the two kids seemed more grateful for the food.

As Alec watched Sung and Logan, he became aware of that itchy feeling between his shoulders intensifying. He quietly tilted the tiny mirror he carried and angled it just around his left arm. Blue skies. A couple of buildings. A seagull—there. The glint off a piece of glass. It was too large to be off a scope; maybe a camera lens. The guy was getting bolder.

Alec slipped his mirror into his pocket. He kept his back turned. He kept his shoulders relaxed. As casually as he could, he dragged over a duffel and pulled out a Russian MV-39 he'd _tweaked_. It was long, thin, looked like a blow gun with a handle. Long range. Quiet as a mouse. As accurate as he needed. He attached his scope on top, aimed...

And shot the corner of Matt Sung's left sleeve.

Sure enough, it galvanized Sung and Logan to move. But Alec didn't take the time to admire the way Logan pulled out his gun, how he pulled the boy behind him or how he jerked his chair accurately to where the shot originated. Alec had whipped around and aimed his next shot where he spotted the reflection.

Glass splintered. There was a yelp. Target acquired. Just not dead. Then again, Alec only loaded his gun with modified metal ball bearings.

By the time Alec reached the first sound he had triangulated, there was no one. 

Far away, a cat screeched, trash cans turned over, a car's brakes squealed. Alec listened, tracking his stalker as far as a hundred meters before it was too hard to make him out of a hundred other noises.

"Almost got you that time," Alec muttered as he quickly dismantled his weapon into tubes he could camouflage them later within his motorcycle's tubing. He tucked them into his messenger bag. After a check over the ledge to confirm Logan and company left, Alec ducked into the stairwell as hoverdrones buzzed near.

 

The index finger shoved through a hole in Matt Sung's coat.

"I can't have my wife patch this up again," Sung exasperated. His finger wiggled hello to Alec through the hole on his sleeve. He squinted at Alec. "You could have signaled me the warning. Like a bird call?"

Alec hooted like an owl. "Like that?"

Sung gave him a withering look. 

Alec balanced his feet on the bicycle and twirled the front wheel like Sketchy had showed him. 

"I was too far away for you to hear me anyway," Alec reported.

Sung blinked, taken aback. "How far were you?"

Alec straddled his bike again. He dropped his elbows on the handlebars. He grinned wolfishly at Sung.

Sung glanced down at his sleeve. He looked up at Alec. His mouth dropped opened.

"I don't miss," Alec told Sung.

Sung's mouth snapped shut. He studied his sleeve again. He heaved a sigh as he shrugged back into his long trench coat.

"This is my favorite coat," Sung grumbled. He gave Alec the stink eye. After a beat though, Sung relaxed.

"Either way...thanks."

Alec covered his surprise with a shrug. Sung was grateful for the weirdest things. "If you want, I'll shoot the other sleeve next time: even things out."

"Don't do me any favors." Sung picked the scorched hole; his mouth twisted unhappily. "Did you find out who was there? For us? For you?"

Alec raised his hand.

"Your stalker?"

"I'm a popular guy." Alec shrugged. His stomach churned. "Unless you guys are pissing off more people."

"Same people." 

"Oh good," Alec drawled. "The other scumbags might get jealous." He set his jaw, thinking. "Lists do any good?"

"They'll help." Sung's pinched expression, however, told another story. "Logan turned them over to his boss. _Eyes Only_ has been contacting as many as he can, but not every convict left a forwarding address with their parole officer."

It explained the late nights. Alec clenched his jaw. 

"It would help if—"

" _If_ Logan reads me in, yeah, I know," Alec bit out. He curled a hand around the handle. The rubber grip creaked inside his fist. "But you know how his Holiness gets."

Sung rubbed the back of his neck. Alec sorely wanted to copy him but didn't dare. 

"So business as usual, I guess," Sung breathed.

The bike's handle squeaked as it bent forward under Alec's grip.

"Yeah," Alec said evenly.

"Business as usual."

 

Alec looked away from the line of Logan's shoulders. His throat worked. Because Logan was grunting as he finished up his last set of adaptive sit-ups. Because his gray sweatshirt clung to the shape of a flat stomach tapering down to narrow hips. Because of the flush that traveled down to Logan's stomach, exposed the more his top rucked up. 

"Hey," Alec managed as he leaned against the opening to the exercise area.

Logan stopped mid-crunch, his upper body parallel to the floor. He turned his head just so, enough to offer Alec a flash of a smile.

"Hey." Logan sat up the rest of the way onto the elevated exercise bench. He caught the water bottle Alec tossed over. 

"Thought you were catching lunch with Herbal today." Logan loosened the ankle straps and gingerly pulled his legs out and around to dangle over the edge. He tilted his head back as he drank.

"Nah. Herbal's in some vegan kick this month." Alec ran his tongue across his lips as he watched a trickle of water escape the corner of Logan's mouth.

"He wanted me to try this pickled bean sprout burger over on Anchor Way." Alec made a face. "I wasn't about to ride all the way there for bean sprouts. I decided to grace you with my presence instead." He tracked Logan; the other made his way over to drop neatly into his waiting chair.

"Wasn't sure if you were going to be home," Alec remarked. He watched Logan drain the rest of the water bottle, his neck a long column of cord and muscle working as he swallowed. Suddenly, _Alec_ was thirsty. 

"Thought you got an appointment to do some skullduggery. I was just going to raid your fridge." Alec let his knuckles skim down Logan's neck when he rolled past. He noted how Logan shivered under his touch.

"Instead, I get a little porn, complete with a soundtrack." Alec openly leered. "How about we skip lunch?"

Logan shot him a look over his shoulder. 

"Seriously, that only makes me want to lick peanut butter off you, Heather."

Logan snorted. He ducked his head into the fridge.

"My meeting got cut short this morning." Logan's shoulders tensed under his damp shirt. "Went home to burn off the free time."

 _Or the adrenaline_ , Alec thought with a pang. He remembered how quick Logan responded. He remembered how Logan looked like he was going to throw bodily himself over his underage informant. 

"That sucks," Alec said around the growing lump in his throat. He rubbed his fingers. He could still feel the warmth of the rifle after he had fired. He stuck his hands into his jeans. 

"Got enough dirt for a hack at least?" Alec leaned into the island counter. He stared at the sagging neckline, dipping into a V to offer a glimpse of damp chest hair and a smooth ridge of collar bone. He grinned unrepentantly when Logan looked up from working his lunch magic and caught Alec openly staring.

"Not that kind of meeting. Just confirming some information." Logan arched an eyebrow; Alec didn't look away. Logan tore his gaze away with a clearing of his throat. 

"How's your end?" Logan paused at Alec's smirk and hastily added, "Your search, I mean."

Logan's flush from his workout returned with vigor under Alec's unabashed stare.

"We keep missing each other." Alec shrugged. He trailed behind Logan to the couch. "But I've nailed down a few places where he could be."

"You're planning on seeing him. Alone?" Logan frowned. 

"Aw. Jealous?"

"More like concerned." Logan set down the plate of what looked like roast beef sandwiches (hopefully without that horseradish) on the coffee table. "We still don't know what's his motives are. We should find ou—"

" _I'll_ find out," Alec interrupted as he dropped into the couch next to Logan. He ignored the frown casted his way as he picked up one sandwich. He peeled the bread back, noting the yellow smear of the horseradish. He made a face, passed the sandwich to Logan and took the other one. "My thing. Remember?"

Logan mumbled something as he bit into his food.

"Hey, that's the deal we agreed to." Alec turned around and caught Logan's gaze. "Unless you want to tell me why your meeting was cut short this morning?" He kept his face deliberately blank. He waited but was unsurprised when Logan didn't answer. 

Alec slumped into the couch. They ate their food in silence. Logan's shoulder was close enough to sense through Alec's t-shirt.

The roast beef was salty against the thin slices of tomato. Logan always gave Alec extra if he got them fresh that day. Today though, the sweet sharpness of the tomato stung the back of his throat.

"Do a lot of your meetings get cut short?" Alec asked quietly.

Next to Alec, Logan paused. 

"No," Logan murmured. He bumped Alec with his shoulder. Alec snorted and bumped back, mindful not to hit too hard. "I'm very careful not to risk the informants."

Alec's jaw clenched. 

"Your informants, but not you." 

Logan sighed. He lowered his sandwich, barely half done. Damn it, Alec should have kept his trap shut.

"I'm careful, Alec. If I am ever compromised, the inform—"

"Again, the _informants_. Not you." The sandwich squished in Alec's grip. Tomato juices bled out. He set his lunch down. 

"They risk their lives and their families trying to get the information—"

Alec twisted around but stop short of grabbing Logan by the shoulders. 

"What about you? Huh?" Alec's mouth contorted. "Or was sitting in the middle of the night, stalking out porno rings alone not considered a risk?"

A flush rose up Logan's face at the memory. "I told you. I'm careful—"

"Bronck."

Logan stopped. He faced forward.

Alec leaned in closer. He draped one arm across the couch, not quite touching Logan's suddenly rigid shoulders. 

"Was that being careful? I'm pretty sure your pal detective Sung wouldn't agree."

Logan's shoulders sagged. 

"I know," Logan said, defeated. "My fault he got caught in that."

Alec swallowed. "I wasn't saying you were..." His eyes shifted away. "That wasn't your fault."

Logan laughed humorlessly, his eyes dulling. "I'm pretty sure it was. I deliberately goaded Bronck in hopes he'd react. I should have realized anyone seen with me would get caught in the cross—"

Alec curled a hand around Logan's stiff arm.

"Hey." Alec gave the arm a shake. It was like trying to move a steel beam. "I wasn't trying to make you feel like shit," he murmured. "I only wanted to let you know you can't be careful all the time. I..." His hand drifted down and captured Logan's hand. He clutched it.

"You were alone in Cape Haven." A chill seeped under Alec's skin. He curled his grip tighter around Logan's hand. He rubbed a thumb over the hum of Logan's pulse. "I was here, eating your food, fondling all your stuff while you were..."

"I wasn't alone."

"Having this Sage kid with you wasn't exactly backup. Strategically..." Alec held Logan's hand with both of his and it didn't feel like it was enough. "Strategically..."

Logan's hand curled inside and lightly scratched Alec's palm. "I'm careful, Alec."

Was he? Alec thought of how Logan grabbed the informant, about to pull the boy under him. Alec thought about Bronck and how Logan planned to incense them enough to kill him so they couldn't torture him for the informant network.

Alec squeezed Logan's caught hand.

"I'll be _more_ careful," Logan said quietly.

Alec glanced down at the hand he held. There was an average of twenty seven bones in a human hand; twenty seven times someone could break and hurt just the hand alone. Twenty seven times to test the tolerance of life. 

"I could be careful with you," Alec blurted out.

Logan's hand flexed. Alec tightened his grip so it couldn't pull away. 

"But I know," Alec went on resigned, "That you don't want me involved." He reluctantly loosened his hold. "So, look, I promise to be careful and you promise to be careful. All right?"

Logan's hand remained within the cradle of Alec's hand. Slowly, it turned to dance light fingers on Alec's palms.

"I don't like it," Logan admitted.

"Well, surprise, surprise, I'm not exactly kicking up my heels over it either." Alec stared out the windows. The afternoon sun brightened the city below in an array of primary colors. It was almost blinding. Normal was probably pitching a bitch fest wondering where the fire truck Alec was. 

"You won't let me help you," Alec sighed, "I get why." He shook his head. "Sort of." 

Alec pulled Logan's hand to his lap. He tapped the line that curved around the base of Logan's thumb. He thought it was the lifeline. He hoped so. It looked long. 

"I don't like the idea this person knows this much about you and we know nothing about him." Logan sat back. He idly watched Alec trace the topography of his knuckles next.

"So far," Alec murmured as he brushed a finger over a faded line ringed around Logan's middle finger. Logan broke his finger once. Alec kissed the ghostly hurt. "He's sent me two more photos doing something awesome, wrote 'we should meet', and nothing else."

Logan exhaled. "The message never varies," he murmured. "Why now? What does he want? Why you?"

Alec arched an eyebrow at Logan. "Uh, hello? How awesome am I? Why not me?"

Logan scoffed. He retrieved his hand out of Alec's grasp and ran it over Alec's head.

"Aw," Alec whined. He reached up and gingerly felt the short strands. He thought he could still feel the warmth of Logan's hand lingering.

"Now you got crumbs and stuff all over." Alec dropped back to the couch; his arm flushed with Logan. He waggled the neglected sandwich until Logan took it. He made a face when Logan offered him the corner. Horseradish. Yuck.

"The _Eyes Only_ informant network might be able to find out more about him," Logan continued. He peeled the crust away from his sandwich and dangled it towards Alec.

"Right now your network is trying to figure out a bunch of things though." Alec took it after a pause. He folded the chewy strip and popped it in his mouth. "And so far nothing." At Logan's look, Alec pointed to his brow with a twirling finger.

"You get this frowny wrinkle on your forehead even when we're doing naked things." Alec smirked when Logan flushed. "Get used to the talk, Heather. I am not shy."

Logan harrumphed. He flipped a strip of bread crust towards Alec, bopping him on the nose. He smirked when Alec spit it out a beat later because he didn't notice the smudge of horseradish.

"Har har," Alec said as he sat forward to finish the rest of his sandwich. "Look, you save your superpowers for your _Eyes Only_ gig. Let your minions do your goody goody save the world stuff. I can handle one creeper with the hots for me."

Logan gave up on his sandwich. He stared at the remaining half on the coffee table.

"If he's not just a creeper?" Logan murmured.

Alec wanted to shrug, but he suspected it wouldn't go well with Logan. He turned sideways towards Logan again. Logan gazed back with troubled eyes in the shade of murky brown.

"You. Me. Canada. Living a life of crime and porn." Alec leaned in and brushed his mouth across Logan's. He didn't mind the burning bite of horseradish on Logan's lips. "Not getting rid of me that easy."

Logan smiled faintly. "Wasn't planning to." 

 

"Laundry detergent?"

Sketchy's eyebrow disappeared up into his multi-striped knit hat. He considered Alec, the satchel of goods in his hand and over to Original Cindy.

Cindy raised her hands. "Don't look over here. Original Cindy thought it was a waste." She poked the canvas sack Alec held. "Damn shame to trade all that for some soap if you ask us."

"Not soap," Alec exasperated. "Laundry detergent. Powder form. Preferably with a bleach component." At the dual stares, he shrugged. "I like clean clothes." He shook his knapsack again. 

"Hey, you said you were the best in the barter trade. You're telling me you can't get me laundry detergent with four bottles of Pre-Pulse Pinot Grigio, two bags of real coffee beans and a working radio?"

"I am the master," Sketchy confirmed. He took the satchel and tested its weight. "How much laundry detergent are we talking about here?"

Alec shrugged. "About ten pounds."

"T-ten pounds?"

"Preferably with a bleach component."

 

It turned out Alec has a favorite finger.

Alec groaned as Logan wrapped his right hand around his cock again. The fourth finger with the callus down to the middle knuckle was rough against sensitive skin. Coarse, thick calluses caught briefly as fingers pulled.

"I should..." Logan said breathlessly, "use more lotion."

"Don't you dare," Alec gasped. He shuddered as that patch coasted down his swollen cock with all the roughness of a fist. He rolled his hips, pressing into Logan's hand.

The wheelchair creaked as it inched back despite its brakes. It was never meant to hold two full grown men, especially not when one was straddling the seated one and frantically rocking into a not tight enough grip.

Logan looked thoroughly debauched. His mouth was pink and swollen; his neckline sagged down to reveal the bites and bruises along the top of a dark, dusty circle of skin. His flushed face was held to Alec's sternum as he breathed frantically.

Dinner plates were left uncollected after Alec stalked around the table to rest his knees on either side of Logan, trapping Logan in the chair. He attacked Logan's mouth, marked up his collarbone.

Logan retaliated with a pop of Alec's jeans buttons and a few pulls of his dick. The dexterity of those hands...

The fireplace crackled loudly against their moans. Logan's wheelchair was pushed up against the back of the couch as Alec fucked Logan's hand. His hands tugged strands of Logan's hair. It spurred Logan on. The other's breath grew shallow. His upper body shivered as feeling welled and rose.

Logan gasped out Alec's name as he crushed his face to Alec's abdomen.

Alec shook as he came. Thick ribbons of come coated Logan's hand and shirt. Alec hunched over Logan, trembling as Logan milked him dry even if it meant more come splattered over his throat, his chin, his mouth. God, Logan's mouth. Alec could feel Logan's moist exhales teasing the base of his cock. His undone jeans hung on his hips. Logan kept skimming the waistband with the tip of a pink tongue. 

"You're killing me," Alec groaned as Logan's tongue swiped a wet stripe along the jut of his pelvic bone. Alec crushed his lips to the gasping mouth as he sank down to kneel between Logan's knees. He wanted to pull Logan to the carpet. He wanted to rub his come all over Logan's body until the other only smelled like Alec and sex and _mine mine mine_ and—

With a growl, Alec reared up, biting, nibbling, tasting, arching Logan back. His hands slapped Logan's away from his returning erection. He grappled Logan, his fingers worrying come soaked fabric against Logan's body. He smeared the shirt against Logan's pecs, his belly, his throat.

Logan managed to snake a hand down to Alec's dick again, that wonderful fourth finger with its callused skin. Bolder, surer fingers with blunt nails curled around Alec and jerked and pulled harder. Alec bucked into that grip. He bit hard into a satin warm shoulder. Logan cried out in surprise. His grip shrank around Alec's cock with breathless strength and the strokes quickening until—

Alec threw his head back with a howl as he came again. He tugged Logan up to him, yanking him almost bodily off the chair. He latched onto a spot of soaked shirt, teeth capturing the nipple underneath. He ignored the writhing underneath his mouth as he tortured the nub into a hardened peak. He moved to the other, worrying and worrying the pebbled nipple until Logan came with a shout. He always sounded startled.

Breathing hard, Alec caught Logan as he sagged forward out of his chair. They dropped heavily to the carpet.

Alec spent the next few minutes lazily lapping up the streaks of come he marked Logan. Logan lay on the floor, hands drifting from the back of Alec's head, his bare hip and his mouth. His fingers dragged the beads of perspiration on Alec's skin. A sculptor's touch wandered down Alec's skin—touching, shaping, igniting something warm and tingling to life deep in Alec's bones.

"You've smelled different these days," Logan murmured.

Alec snickered as he pushed his nose into the soft skin under Logan's jaw. Stubble or not, the line of skin was always smooth, silken taut flesh that was exceptionally sens—

Logan moaned as Alec flicked his tongue across the skin. He panted as Alec suckled the secret spot until a purpling mark bloomed.

"Mm," Alec purred, "I could say the same about you." He shoved his nose to Logan's Adam's apple. He licked the bitter streak that splashed along the jugular. "I like this smell on you." He noisily took a deep sniff. "In fact, I think you should only smell like this from now on." 

Alec yanked up Logan's shirt. He rolled his hips, pressing his exposed groin into Logan's stomach.

"Jesus," Logan gasped even as his hands flew up to grip Alec's hips. "Already?"

"Thank the clever people of...you know..." Alec ground his erection across Logan's belly button. 

"I rather thank you." Logan palmed Alec's cock. "But I wasn't talking about that."

"Hm," Alec murmured distractedly as he slowly thrust into warm, capable hands. Christ, Logan could make a rock come with those hands. He held Alec like he was made of glass yet could grip like he was coaxing blood out of stone. 

"You've been..." Logan's voice stuttered as Alec bodily swayed into his hands. Pre-cum wept over his fingers. "You have been smelling like s-soap...a lot of— _Alec_."

Alec curled over Logan's fist to tongue the points he could see straining under Logan's shirt. He tugged at one, teeth grazing over over-sensitized flesh and Logan shuddered the same time Alec spilled all over him.

Somewhere, somehow, Logan's shirt was pulled off. Alec hummed as he finished tasting Logan from throat to belly and back up. He crushed his mouth to Logan, his tongue pushing the collected come past Logan's lips. The kiss deepened and along the way, Alec's shirt was thrown past the couch.

Breathing heavily, Logan laid there, his upper body awkwardly propped against the back of the couch. But he didn't seem inclined to move as he shakily wrapped his arms around Alec.

"Damn it," Logan wheezed. "What was I saying before?"

Alec sniggered. He rested his head on Logan's shoulder.

"You were saying how you liked how we smelled."

"Was I?" Logan asked dazed.

"Yup and you agreed how great it would be if I got you smelling like sex all da—okay! Okay!" Alec chuckled as he half-heartedly nudged Logan's hand away from pinching him on the ass again. "Soap! You said I smelled like soap."

"That's right," Logan murmured. He rubbed a thumb over where he had grabbed Alec. He smoothed a palm over the non-existent injury in apology. "Past two days."

Alec leaned into Logan's hand. He closed his eyes as he felt Logan's hand drifted down. He held his breath when his jeans slid lower, and the warmth of Logan's hand hovered over his entrance.

Abruptly, Logan's hand was gone. It moved to rub circles between Alec's shoulders.

"Breaking and entering Laundromats lately?" Logan guessed. His pointer finger traced Alec's shoulder blade.

"Not unless bad guys are laundering money in the literal sense." Alec shrugged. He enjoyed how it momentarily trapped Logan's finger there before it skimmed down the line of his spine. Tiny fires flared and defused with Logan's touch.

"Just a science experiment I'm doing," Alec murmured.

"Oh?"

"I'll tell you about it when it's complete." Alec smiled against the short silk that covered Logan's chest. 

"Right now, I want to conduct another experiment."

Alec kept one ear over Logan's steady heartbeat. His other ear rang with the sounds of the fire feebly crackling and Logan's breathy gasps as he coaxed Logan's cock to fill with almost bruising pulls.

"You feel this like before?" Alec murmured as he pushed his thumb along the vein under the cock. The length in his hand weakly filled, fragile and velvety hot in his grasp. He squeezed; he pulled. ""Can you feel my hand around you?"

Logan's breathing hitched.

"Yeah," Alec almost cooed as he continued. Under his ear, the heart pounded. "You can feel it. Enough to want it more."

Logan's hands curled around Alec's sides. He clutched like he was clinging to a lifesaver. 

Alec stayed draped partially over Logan, his hand between their bodies as he laid claim on Logan's cock.

"I like you like this: lying by the fire, letting me touch all I want, and I want. I want to touch your mouth, your neck, your skin. I could touch you all day and I know you'll let me. I could hold you down, work you up all night, take my time..."

"Alec," Logan choked out. His eyes rolled back as Alec massaged the captured cock to fullness.

"Yea, you would like that, my hands and mouth on you all day. Maybe you'll wake up still feeling me on your skin even when I'm not here..."

Logan's hands drifted up into Alec's hair. Alec slipped fingers under velvety sacs and pressed down on the fragile skin. When Logan didn't react, Alec smoothly returned his hand to pumping Logan instead, applying hard pressure. When he felt the cock respond, he went rougher, his hand running down the length with pressure just shy of pain.

With a shudder, Logan dropped his chin, covering his face into the top of Alec's head. He trembled as his cock shivered. Logan never looked down at himself. Alec always rolled a shoulder to block him from witnessing the weak stream of come, the all too quick release. Because Logan didn't need to see; only feel. 

Even though Alec knew Logan couldn't sense it, he lowered his head and dropped a gentle kiss on the softening cock, on the reddish patches of skin Alec couldn't avoid giving Logan sometimes. He dropped a kiss above the dark nest of hair, worked his way up the fading trail of hair, lingered on the lightly furred chest before returning to Logan's waiting mouth. 

Alec always made sure Logan saw that. 

Breathing unsteadily, Logan and Alec stayed on the carpet. Gradually, Alec could hear their breathing fall into sync. Absently, he thought it was pretty cool. He wondered why that never happened with anyone else.

Quietly, they watched the embers in the fireplace cool to ash. 

Logan exhaled, ruffling the top of Alec's head.

"When I asked if you were ready for dessert," Logan said drowsily, "I was referring to the pears in the fridge."

Alec snickered. He ran his front teeth over a nipple and felt it strain to harden against his lips. 

"We could have it for breakfast."

"Dessert for breakfast again?" Logan groaned as Alec grazed his teeth over the other nub. "I'm going to—ah, Alec—get fat..." He whimpered, his complaint petering off when Alec returned his attentions to the first nipple.

"Hardly." Alec ran a greedy hand down the left side of Logan's body. His fingers traced each shallow indent. "I shouldn't be able to count these." His brow furrowed. "You need to be in the mood more."

"This," Logan yelped when Alec latched onto his ear lobe, "isn't in the mood?"

"For food, not dessert."

Logan shivered. "Dessert's in the fridge."

Alec raised his head to smirk at Logan. "That's what you think." He wrapped arms around Logan, pulling him closer for another taste.

 

"Here, kitty, kitty."

Alec held his breath as he eyed the tiny mirror he set on the ledge. He could see the slip of a shadow edging closer. Closer...

Across at the abandoned gas station, there was a shout.

Mirror forgotten, Alec leaned forward. He abandoned his sniper scope and used his vision. He zoomed in on Sung and Logan. 

The informant had spooked. The brown envelope of money Logan tried to give her was left on the ground. Sung stood at the lot, shouting after the departing car. After a moment, Sung threw up his hands and turned back to Logan with a clearly frustrated look.

Logan's shoulders visibly slumped.

Alec turned to check behind him.

The shadow was gone.

"Damn it."

 

"Fifteen more pounds?" Sketchy was normally nonplussed about the requests he gets (there was a story about strawberry flavored cock rings Sketchy refused to share but was especially proud about). 

This time, Sketchy gaped at Alec.

Messengers swarmed around Normal's caged domain for their hot runs. Few looked their way. Even less glanced over to the sack that happened to be clucking and squawking in Alec's grip.

"Hey! No livestock on premises!"

Of course, _Normal_ noticed.

"I really, really like clean clothes," Alec repeated. He lifted his sack higher. "Like it enough to give you a spare tire, a gold watch, and three live chickens for it."

Outside, something plaintively bleated.

"Whose goat is that?" Normal was almost shrill.

Alec grinned at Sketchy. Behind him, Original Cindy rolled her eyes.

"Oh yeah, and that."

Sketchy scratched his bristly chin. He looked at the sack and sighed.

"Give me two days."

 

Alec held his breath.

Logan softly exhaled his.

Moving only his eyes, Alec glanced down at Logan slumped against his shoulder. His insides did funny leaps as Logan continued to sleep. 

Even though Logan said he would wait for him, Alec didn't expect him to be up. Security in the illegal gold processing plant was tougher than Alec expected. He returned to the penthouse at 0217, two and a half hour later than estimated. 

And yet there was Logan, with his eyeglasses skewed on his nose, the blue fleece blanket crumpled on his lap and slumped sideways on the couch facing the window.

Alec stood there, the little sachet of lifted gold dust in his hand. He suddenly wished he hadn't left at all. But it was either now or never as _Eyes Only_ was going to squeal on them in another hour.

Logan muttered. He squirmed against Alec's arm and slept on with a quiet wheeze.

Alec grinned goofily down at the mess of brown hair.

Okay, maybe not in another hour.

"Still smell like soap," Logan mumbled as he roused. He squinted as he woke further. "Hey."

Alec smirked. "Hey, yourself." He pouted. "You woke up too soon. I had all sorts of groping I wanted to do."

Logan yawned as he struggled to sit up. He stretched his arms over his head. His worn navy pullover rose briefly. He blinked cross-eyed when Alec gingerly pushed back up his spectacles before they slid off completely.

"How was the job?"

Alec shrugged. "Your intel was a tad outdated. They upgraded their security systems." He made a face. "And added two guard dogs."

"Damn." Logan rubbed a hand down Alec's thigh. "Sorry."

Alec crooked a smirk. "Their system still sucked anyway. People have got to realize a single power source alarm leaves them with no failsafe. And watch dogs should regularly be fed."

Logan chuckled throatily. Alec wished it wasn't because he could see Logan could barely keep his eyes open.

"You should go to bed." Alec nodded over his shoulder. "Unless you have to do the sixty seconds now, _Eyes Only_."

Logan sighed as he scratched his jaw. 

Alec's smile faded. He reached over and tugged down the pullover's neckline. He pursed his mouth at the bluish mark by the right shoulder ball joint.

"I don't remember putting that there." Alec skimmed a thumb over the warm mark.

Logan gently pushed Alec's hand away. He straightened his pullover with a wince.

Alec's throat squeezed. "What happened?"

"Word came in about one of the parolees I couldn't track down."

Alec had dropped his hand against his hip before it curled into a white-knuckled fist. 

"When?" Alec said calmly.

Logan shrugged. Alec caught the grimace. "After you left." He took his time rolling up the fleece blanket. "Thought I would confirm the address, maybe warn him." He shrugged again. He moved stiffly. "Took some convincing to get him to leave and hide elsewhere."

When Logan moved to transfer to his chair, Alec caught a whiff of burnt gunpowder. He bit the inside of his cheek.

"How much convincing?" Alec managed to keep his voice even.

"Ten thousand in unmarked bills and a bullet graze to his cheek," Logan said casually. Too casual to match the lines around his unsmiling mouth.

"Why the graze?"

Logan eased into his wheelchair and veered around the couch to the office area.

"Why the graze?" Alec said louder.

Treads squeaked to a halt.

"He thought I was his type," Logan said, clipped. "My gun convinced him otherwise."

"Son of a—"

"Alec."

"What?" Alec realized he was on his feet. He forced himself to sit down again.

"Clearly, I'm all right."

"Clearly," Alec muttered. Unbidden, his eyes drifted to the spot now hidden by the pullover. A feeling ballooned and butted painfully against his chest.

"I wished you called me," Alec blurted. Hearing himself, he started. "I mean..."

Logan rolled over to Alec. His mouth crooked to a faint smile. He reached past Alec and gingerly picked up the package of gold dust from the coffee table.

"You were busy," Logan reminded Alec, "you can't be in two places at the same time."

"I didn't have to be at _that_ place," Alec mumbled. He sat on his hands before he gave in to the temptation to knock the sachet out of Logan's hand. It would be a waste although coating Logan with a fine layer of gold dust was intriguing.

Alec shook his head before that appealing image could take over.

"Alec?"

"Nothing. No. Something." Alec sighed. "You could have told me."

"How? The call came in after you left. I wasn't about to interrupt you. There was no reason to think there was any danger." Logan carefully set the sachet on the coffee table.

It irked Alec how reasonable Logan sounded. And it ticked him off more that Logan was right. 

Alec reached over and slipped his hand into Logan's top, through the stretched out neckline, across to the heated injured flesh. He pressed. Logan made a face.

"Doesn't feel too bad," Alec murmured as he lowered his hand. He slid off the couch and crouched in front of the chair. He unlatched the leg rests and parted Logan's knees so he could kneel between them. "What did he try to do?"

Logan rotated his right shoulder to test it. "Thought it would be more fun if I were on the ground." He darkened. "I declined by shoving my gun to his dick. When he staggered back, I shot him in the cheek in case he wouldn't take no for an answer." He snorted. "I figured if he was hiding from his parole officer so he wouldn't have to keep paying him; the last thing he needed was a hoverdrone coming towards the shot or his dick shot off."

Alec stared at Logan.

Logan fidgeted. "What?"

Mouth dry, Alec blinked. He took in Logan's clenched jaw. His gut writhed in knots. 

"That...that is so hot," Alec managed. 

Logan started. His eyes widened as his body lost its stiff posture. "You're kidding."

"No. I mean, I knew you were badass, but seriously, I can so eat you up right now." Alec dropped his face over Logan's stomach, his chin pillowed on Logan's lap. Almond, coffee and paper swirled around Alec. He swallowed; gunpowder tainted Logan's scent. Why didn't he notice before?

Quietly laughing, Logan carded fingers through Alec's hair. 

Alec snaked his arms around Logan's middle. He felt Logan breathe. He crushed his face to Logan's middle and wished he could burrow in and feel Logan's heart beat as well.

"Wish I was there," Alec said with forced lightness. He rubbed his face against the thin pullover. He felt Logan's stomach flex under his cheek.

"Alec..."

"No, man, I wish I was there. I would love to sit there, jerking off, watching you take that asshole down..."

Logan scoffed. "Like you would just sit there."

"Uh, yeah? Guy doesn't sound like he'll be good for a threesome. Nah. Watching you being badass would be hotter."

Fingers gently tugged Alec's hair.

"Uh huh," Logan murmured. "Only reason you wanted to be there."

Alec inhaled. He forced himself not to gag at the acrid scent of spent gunpowder. It never went well with anything. Everything the scent touch decayed to smell like blood.

"Wanted to see that," Alec mumbled. Face screwing up against Logan's abdomen, Alec wrapped his arms tighter around Logan. "Wish I was there."

Logan curled his hand to the back of Alec's head. 

It almost felt like an apology.

 

"Finally."

Alec smirked as he crouched down to the pager he _accidentally_ left behind. He could see the faint smudges of a toe cap, a heel mark, a scuff in the pavement surrounding the abandoned pager.

"Took you long enough," Alec muttered as he retrieved his _Jam Pony_ pager. He shook the powder off the tiny device.

After a week, Alec was getting tired of smelling like soap too. He eyed the alley and waited for the clouds above him to float away from the moon.

It took a lot of bartering, a lot of time hogging up Original Cindy's kitchen and a few deliberate encounters with his stalker. But Alec had finally determined what distance his fan usually stayed back and with some zinc sulfide derived from a total of twenty two pounds of detergent, the trap was set.

The clouds drifted away. Moonlight cast down into the alley.

Alec grinned. He stretched his arms above him, reached back and pulled over a pair of night vision goggles over his eyes. It took all of the gold dust to get them.

There was an IR function in the visor, but Alec didn't activate it. He only needed the glass, his bio-engineered vision, the moonlight and—

A dashed and crooked line shone like silver. Zinc sulfide, often used as anti-theft ink, gleamed under Alec's cobbled together black light. It started from the ground where Alec had scattered a fine coat of it around his pager and tapered to a thin line that trailed ahead, stretching far in front of Alec.

Alec smirked as he pulled off his goggles. His eyes have adapted by now. He could easily pick out the sparkling trail only an X-5 can see.

"Gotcha," Alec murmured with a smile. 

 

"Street Sweeper?" Alec repeated, not sure he heard correctly. He eyed the cluttered room underneath the pigeon coop. Penthouse, it wasn't.

"Are you sure it's not that you _need_ a street sweeper?" Alec made a face at the greasy crate he sat on. It smelled like moldy cheese and overcooked onions.

It hadn't taken Alec long to find the guy. The zinc sulfide led him through sector five where it disappeared. But a figure in a ratty long coat sprinting away and leaping over ten foot fences was something no one forgets. A few twenties pointed Alec the right way until he picked up the zinc trail again. 

When Alec found the guy though, he didn't expect the guy to _hug_ him. Ew.

"It's a sobriquet, to protect our identities from our enemies." Sweeper (because Alec sure as hell wasn't going to call him _Street_ Sweeper, because, seriously?) ducked under another curtain of negatives. He kept darting wide brown eyes at Alec, his dirt smudged pudgy face making all sorts of faces as he jittered from foot to foot. There was some weird whirling sound each time he moved. 

"Uh huh." Alec folded his arms in front of him. "Namely me."

Sweeper halted. He spun around, his long coat flapping around his kegs. He gaped at Alec.

Alec has to admit; the guy was convincing. "So what do you want? Money?"

" _Money_?"

"Is there an echo?" Alec demanded. He hopped off the crate. "Why are you taking all those pictures of me?"

Sweeper's round face appeared flabbergasted. "Wait, I merely wanted to show you I was a friend, not foe. I'm like you!"

Doubtful. Alec studied him standing behind a table buried in weird camera parts. 

"Like me," Alec repeated.

If Sweeper nodded any harder, his head would fall off. "Yes! Defender of the city! To right wrong!"

Alec studied Sweeper as he babbled about destiny and how it was fated. He scanned the room. Other than a lot of junk, strips of film flailing under a window ventilation fan and smelling like pigeon crap; the only risk Alec deemed was tetanus. Maybe with a bonus of anthrax.

Determined harmless, albeit _weird_ , Alec relaxed the grip he had on the blade he tucked into his jacket pocket. The guy's hands were dirty, clumsy and fumbled too much to be skilled with handling firearms. He watched, bemused as Sweeper pulled out picture after picture of out of focus Alec in action. Maybe Original Cindy had it right the first time: the kook was an admirer. Flattering in a way. Kind of.

But then the asshole waved around Logan's photo.

Sweeper yipped as he suddenly dangled ten inches off the floor thanks to Alec's forearm rammed under his chin.

"You boast strength too," Sweeper wheezed. "That is excellent."

"All right," Alec snarled, "What's your game, huh? This isn't just some fan boy shit. Why do you have his picture?"

Logan's side profile wasn't in sharp contrast, but clear enough for Alec to see him in the alley, on the ground, pointing a gun on two assholes who wanted more than money for trying to rat on their boss.

Alec could still feel the slime and disgust crusted on his jeans and hands. He could still remember running through the alleys, guided to their location only by the sounds of Logan trying to fend for himself. He still remembered finding Logan on the ground, pointing a gun at him. All he could think of then was that he was alive.

Sweeper gagged as Alec hoisted him higher. 

"What the hell are you doing taking his picture? Talk." Alec's eyes narrowed. "Either you do or I'll _convince_ you and trust me, you will not like that." Out of the corner of his eye, Alec spotted no less than three things he could use that would make everything look like an accident. 

"What? No, I wasn't trying to do anything to your benefactor!" 

"My what?" Alec abruptly yanked back his arm. Sweeper collapsed into an ungainly heap by his feet.

"I originally noticed his ally and realized there were others like me, trying to save the innocent from the tyranny of evil, defending the helpless—"

"Blah, blah, fast forward to where you started playing peeping tom," Alec snapped. He eyed Sweeper as he got up shakily, hand to his throat.

"You have a disproportional strength index comparative to your muscle mass." Sweeper clumsily patted Alec's bicep with the hand not currently clasped around his reddening throat. At Alec's glare, he dropped his hand.

"Yes, ahem, after a few months of unobtrusive surveillance, I discovered my would-be ally have gone to parts unknown."

"Canada," Alec muttered.

"Ah! Our neighbor up North was in need of justice!" Sweeper grinned proudly like it was his idea. 

"I feared our city was left undefended so I'd decided to take up the mantle—"

Alec snatched Logan's photo off the table.

"I said fast forward," Alec snapped, "You're going backwards." He stalked towards Sweeper. 

Sweeper stumbled back a few steps until his back hit the wall of corrugated metal. The wall rattled behind him as Sweeper raised his hands.

"I meant you and your comrade no harm!" Sweeper cried, his voice a squeak now. "I merely wanted to ally with you!"

Alec stood toe to toe with Sweeper. Sweeper stood taller by a few inches, but at Alec's snarl, his shoulders slouched and he shrank. 

"Ally?" Alec bit out. He was breathing hard. He could feel it in his bones the urge to hurt, to ask questions that are answered with blood and sobbing. His chest expanded as he inhaled. When he exhaled, there was a dark satisfaction when Sweeper flinched.

"I want every last photo you took of him and me. _Now_."

Alec almost felt sorry for the guy when he tripped and skidded to his crooked tables, grimy fingers scrabbling to search. Ire returned, though, when Sweeper returned with too large of a stack in his shaking hands.

"That's it?" Alec said brusquely as he thumbed through the pile.

"Everything," Sweeper declared. "I always burn the negatives after these are developed to protect your identities."

Surprised, Alec looked up. "Yeah?" 

Sweeper bobbed his head eagerly. "I bury the ashes afterwards too."

"Uh...why?"

Sweeper puffed out his chest. "So the negatives can't be recovered. We must protect our identities so our enemies can't sabotage our battle for justice."

" _Okay_." 

A smile twitched briefly on Alec's face. The guy was a big goof after all. He glanced down at the photos in hand. His good humor faded at the photo of Bronck's men dragging Logan away; Alec doubled over in the grass. His failure in blurry black and white.

"I was too far away that day," Sweeper murmured, brown eyes downcast. "I tried to run after the van that took your benefactor but by the time I caught up with it, it was already abandoned."

Alec crumpled up the photo in his fist.

"Don't worry; _I_ caught up with the bastards later." Alec's hand reached up to pat him on the arm. He froze and dropped his hand.

Sweeper beamed anyway.

"So I prove to be of some aid?"

Alec was about to scoff when one photo caught his eye. He plucked it out by its corner.

"Ah," Sweeper breathed. "I believe this was after your predecessor left. I debated approaching him then to offer my allegiance but did not want to intrude on what looked like a private moment. A few weeks later, I never saw him again on the streets and mourned I lost my chance."

It was Logan, standing upright, resting heavily on a cane as he stood on one of the condemned beaches that lined Seattle's docks. There was no more federal money to worry about clean water and sand. The government had decided it was cheaper to just condemn everything as lost causes.

There was Logan, barefoot on the beach, both hands on a cane, staring out far away. Alec almost didn't recognize the cream colored sweater Logan wore. It hung looser these days than on the photo.

Logan wore the same lost look like when Alec first met him; visible even in black and white. Feet dug damp furrows in the sand. Alec supposed this was the medical treatment Logan received that had him walking again for a brief time. But there wasn't joy on Logan's face. Alec wondered if Logan had decided he wanted to feel the sand between his toes again. Alec could imagine him grinning down at his feet, happy for one brief moment before remembering whatever it was he was remembering. Most likely that guy Max, who ditched him for Canada.

Alec studied Sweeper. He looked back down at the photo. Slowly, he folded it in half and tucked it into his back pocket.

"He works alone," Alec told him. "I'm not part of his superhero gig." His chest twinge when Sweeper looked crestfallen. Alec slipped four fingers into his back pocket. He felt the stiff photo. An idea niggled. 

"But...there may be something you could help _me_ with."

Alec bit back a smirk when Sweeper brightened.

 

Logan was on the couch.

Alec blinked. He hung there on his bowline, swaying in front of his window. The alarm set since it was day.

But Logan was on the couch. Not hunched over his computer, not plastered to his phone, not busy doing his save-the-world stuff. Just sitting. On. His. Couch.

And looking at him.

Logan was supposed to be engrossed in whatever that was engrossing him that hour. Alec was going to waltz in, sneak a grope or two, and that was that.

There was a book on Logan's lap; a pen was clipped inside as if he had recently finished writing in it when Alec literally dropped in. Logan looked particularly scruffy today; his gray sweat clothes looked a little more sweaty and rumpled. Damn, Alec missed one of his workouts. 

Disengaging the alarm under Logan's arched eyebrow was _weird_. Alec fumbled a few times, stopping to glower through the glass at Logan, whose eyebrow only rose higher in response. The window squeaked when Alec slid it wider and hopped inside. He tripped a step before flailing out a "Ta da."

"Not one of your better times." Logan squinted at his watch. 

"Shut up," Alec grumbled, "I skipped breakfast, all right?" He pulled out the stack of photos from his pack. 

"Caught up with our buddy last night. I brought presents." Alec tossed the stack by the couch. He tried to grab for the journal on Logan's lap.

Logan smoothly tucked both the book and the photos under his arm before transferring to his chair.

"Come on!" Alec wiggled his fingers. Damn, he was so close. He dropped into the seat Logan vacated. "Not even a peek?"

"Damn," Logan muttered as he sorted through the photos on his lap. Absently, he snagged a pear from the counter. Without looking, he tossed it over his shoulder towards Alec.

Alec caught the fruit. He grinned at the round bellied treat. Cool. He took a big chomp as he vaulted neatly out of the couch. He went into the kitchen area.

"You're very photogenic," Alec offered around a mouthful of pear. It was juicy. It tasted like honey and a crisp glass of clean water.

Logan peered up at him over the rim of his glasses. No, that's not hot at all.

Alec leaned into the counter. He crossed his legs. Resting his elbows on the top, he licked and gnawed his way down to its core before speaking.

"Hey, he's been dealt with." Alec blinked when Logan rolled another pear his way. He caught it before it totter off the edge. He gestured with the fruit before he attack it.

"He was only a fan boy, thought we were mutants or something with superpowers. Thought we were, like, the best thing ever."

"Are these all of the photos?"

The one in his back pocket pressed against Alec.

"I got everything from him. Said he won't take any more." Alec popped his thumb in his mouth and licked it clean of sweet juice. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Logan hastily looking away.

"You're here early," Logan remarked as he moved to the office area. He pulled out a tall black bin from under the workstation. 

"Hot run on Third," Alec quipped. "I had to be there within two hours. Shortcuts took less than one." He grimaced when a paper shredder's grinding whine filled the space. 

"Seriously?" Alec complained. He stuck a finger in his ear as he crossed the room. "The guy gave us all his copies. No negatives. I checked. He pinky swear too."

"Just in case." Logan fed each one into the machine.

The corner of Alec's right eye twitched. Absently, he pressed down on his eyelid to calm it down.

"Did he only use a manual camera? Were all of these on film only?" Logan asked tersely as flipped each photo to check. A high pitched whine rose as the machine caught the edge of an offered photo. It grind and whirred as it munched.

"Uh yeah." Alec's other eye ticked annoyingly. He gnawed the pear and sucked the core briefly to capture every last drop of juice. "Do you have to do that _now_?"

"Did he develop these himself? Was he the only one who had access to these?"

Alec rubbed the corner of his left eye. "You know, that's getting annoying."

The whining rose higher and higher in pitch, clawing Alec's eardrums. Logan kept shoving glossy photos into the slot. It sang high, metallic, tugging at his skin with tiny pincers that hung in deep. It didn't pause. It didn't change its tune. Higher and higher, non-stop, grinding into bone, teeth spinning to reach his marro—

The wastebasket slammed into the wall with Alec's kick; the shredder detached and crashed into the glass partition. It shattered, exploding into dagger-like shards that flew everywhere.

Logan flinched.

Alec swore. He threw himself over Logan and lurched them both away from the sharp rain.

It was only seconds. Less. But Alec could hear the ringing of the glass splintering in his ears. He lay there on the floor, his arms tight around Logan's shoulders, their legs awkwardly tangled.

Logan's chair lay on its side, one wheel languidly spinning.

"Fuck," Alec breathed. "Sorry. I..." He gulped. He let go of Logan as he flipped onto his back. His arms folded over his eyes. 

Alec breathed out sharply, his lips pursed as he tried to slow down his racing heart.

Logan was gasping next to him. Alec could feel him shaking against his hip. His head was only now rolling off his chest. The length of Logan's body lined up against Alec's side, supine on the floor because Alec couldn't get his shit together.

Alec scrambled to his feet. He righted the wheelchair, checked to make sure he didn't screw it up in the process. 

While Logan carefully pulled himself back in the chair, Alec grabbed a broom from the kitchen, herded all the glass into another wastebasket. He prowled the area, head down to spot any pieces he may have missed. 

From inside his backpack by the coffee table, his _Jam Pony_ pager buzzed.

"I gotta blaze," Alec mumbled. He ran a hand through his hair. It was all sweaty somehow. He felt like he needed a shower.

"Alec..."

"Look," Alec spoke over whatever Logan was going to say. "I think I got all the glass. I'll throw it out when I go. Thanks for the pears, all right?"

"Alec..."

"I-I gotta go." Alec forced himself to meet Logan's eyes, which had swirled into an unnerving mossy green stare shadowed by his furrowed brow. 

"I gotta go," Alec repeated.

Logan studied him a beat. He wordlessly eased his wheelchair back to let Alec by to grab his backpack.

The glass crunched loudly in the wastebasket Alec cradled against him. He shrugged his backpack over his shoulder.

"I..." Alec's eyes flicked to the missing wall, the dent above the computers, the shredder in two pieces on the ground. His throat worked. He abruptly turned on his heels and walked out the door.

Logan's eyes stayed on his back the entire time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (wheeze) I made the deadline. For once! Yay!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters posted into one.
> 
> Warning: **Sex** (no, really, lol), cursing

The thread on his shirt's hem unraveled between Alec's fingers as he waited.

It wasn't a long wait. In fact, the door opened after his third hesitant knock.

Alec smiled, but it dropped quickly.

"I, uh, I left my rigging here."

Logan's face was blank. At least he wasn't making mopey faces at him like everyone else. Just before, Mrs. Moreno patted his arm on the way up in the elevator. After work, Original Cindy had even offered him _her peanut bowl_ at _Crash_. 

Alec rubbed a knuckle up and down the doorframe. "I called, to see if you were going to be home although I would have just gone in and get it anyway so I had hung up, but I, ah, didn't think you were going to pick up that fast and, um—"

"I made dinner," Logan finally said before he steered around. He left Alec blinking at the door.

"Oh." Alec shoved his hands into his pockets. He elbowed the door shut behind him. "Uh, cool?" 

Alec grimaced when he passed by the office area on the way to the kitchen. There was a gap where a wall partition used to be. The glass left on the frame like jagged teeth was cleared away. It left a gaping metal frame. It only made the absence all the more obvious.

It felt like a punch to the head. 

Alec averted his eyes to the kitchen island instead to watch Logan carefully pull the sauté pan out of the oven.

"So what's for dinner?" Alec brightened when the smell registered. "Roast chicken and sausage? It needs a name." 

"Wasn't naming your pork chops and beets enough?" Logan asked dryly as he stretched up to set the pan down on the counter between them. He winced when he bent to reach the plates on the lower cabinets. He exhaled sharply, resting his forehead on the drawer.

Alec ducked into the living room. He snagged the fleece blanket he spied crumpled on the couch. While Logan moved things to the dining table, Alec folded up the blanket into a tight roll.

"Lean forward," Alec instructed. He got a weird look from Logan but did as ordered; his torso bending far enough over that Alec could see the dark band of his boxer briefs peeking out of the back of his jeans.

Mouth dry, Alec tucked the roll against Logan's lower back. His fingers accidentally brushed against Logan's exposed side. Alec felt Logan twitched but he said nothing when he leaned back into the support.

Alec absently rubbed a hand on Logan's back above the blanket. He could feel the heat of cramping muscles under his palm.

"Better?" Alec murmured as he pressed a thumb down alongside Logan's spine. The trembling quieted.

Logan gave him another look Alec couldn't identify.

"What?"

"Nothing. This feels fine. Thanks."

"Sure." Alec shrugged as he dropped down into a chair. He waited until Logan situated himself across before breaking into the roasted chicken.

The wet sound of chicken bones snapping, juice spilling into the pan of sausage and apple stuffing, made Alec's stomach lurch. He set his jaw as he continued splitting the food between him and Logan. He could sense Logan watching him, but he ignored it because it took everything not gag to when Alec twisted the drumstick free from the main body. The slurping _pop_ of bone slipping out of joint almost made him drop the leg where it was. Instead, he set it on Logan's plate and then, with held breath, wrenched off the other drumstick for himself.

"Thanks," Logan murmured, mercifully not commenting on the fact Alec had piled a little too much on his plate. He nudged over a water bottle to Alec and poured himself a glass of white wine.

Alec mumbled unintelligibly and started eating. After a beat, he heard Logan doing the same.

Every so often, Alec glanced up from his dinner. Logan seemed focused on cutting his food into smaller bites but he did eat a piece every so often, even if it was with a critical frown.

No one talked. Forks against porcelain filled the silence between them. Alec studied his plate as he concentrated on his food, fork each piece, wiped it around the plate to soak up the sauce.

The longer they ate, the more Alec felt the silence hang over them like a time bomb. He kept checking to see if Logan was bracing to ask questions. For once, Logan seemed content to focus on his dinner. Alec rubbed his thumb over the top of his fork. He grimaced when the tines squawked across his plate.

"How did you know about my back?"

Alec started; because Logan finally spoke and it was a question he wasn't expecting. He looked up at unreadable eyes.

Logan's mouth curved briefly. "It's not something I thought people would notice." He grimaced as he shifted his weight. "It's not the first time you did something like this for me either."

"You've been fidgety more than usual." Alec shrugged. "And since I doubt you were trying to call my attention to your cute ass, figured your lower back must have been bothering you."

Logan blinked. "Oh." He went back to his dinner. He speared one piece and swirled it around his plate.

"Shrapnel," Logan said quietly. "From..."

"The shootout." Alec squirmed at the startled look. "I, ah, saw the footage. Back when you were in Cape Haven." He lifted a shoulder. "I thought you might be sick and tired of hearing apologies, though. They don't do squat."

Logan's mouth twisted to another weary smile. "I shouldn't be surprised," he murmured. "I suppose I was an enigma to you then."

 _Still are_ , Alec thought but he only offered another shrug. 

"There was a bullet fragment they couldn't get out with the first surgery. Too risky to try. It was next to three major arteries." Logan lifted his fork then lowered it, changing his mind. "There had been talk about the possibility it might cause future damage and I should have it routinely checked out, but I, ah..." 

"You were little busy as _Eyes Only_ ," Alec guessed.

Logan laughed, strained. "I'm that predictable, huh?" He took a big gulp of wine. 

"The fragment did eventually travel further up. Had emergency surgery to get it out, but..." 

"But?"

"An artery collapsed during the operation. I almost bled out on the table," Logan said casually. He wiped his mouth with a napkin, taking too much care to look nonchalant to be convincing. 

"My doctor warned me it might happen."

Now it was Alec who wasn't _in the mood_ for his food. He set the fork down carefully before his nerveless fingers dropped it.

"You look pretty good for a dead guy," Alec said as steady as he could.

"Donor," Logan said absently. His eyes clouded over. "The hospital ran out of my blood type but a donor stepped forward after the surgery. Leveled out my blood pressure." He gestured towards himself. "And here I am." He curled slightly trembling fingers around his wine glass. He drained it quickly.

Alec released the breath he didn't realized he was holding. Obviously Logan was fine, right in front of him. He lowered his hands to claw his thighs though.

"Wow," Alec huffed shakily, "I hope you threw, like, an obscene amount of money at the guy in thanks."

Logan's face shadowed. "Didn't stick around to see if the transfusion took." He leaned back into his chair. "I woke up alone."

Alec looked down at his food. 

Logan started grabbing the plates to put on his lap. 

"Anyway, the surgery got the fragment out but they had to cut into a lot of muscle to do it. There was some nerve damage. That's why my lower back bothers me at times. And the medical procedure I tried to keep my legs working only made the spasms worse so..." Logan chuckled unsteadily. "But I'm alive, I guess. The transfusion saved me."

It was said almost flippant, but Alec could make out the terseness hiding under the light tone.

"Glad the transfusion took," Alec fumbled out.

Logan paused. He gave Alec a faint smile that died too quickly and left his eyes dull. 

"Sure."

Sure? Alec eyed Logan warily while his plate was collected. But Logan met his look blandly, as if saying 'Look, I have nothing to hide' as he went to the kitchen. It was almost convincing; it was what fooled Alec into not making the connection with _Eyes Only_. The look was starting to piss Alec off.

Alec arched an eyebrow when Logan rolled past him with a new bottle of wine in his lap and a pair of long stemmed glasses.

"I can't get drunk," Alec reminded his back.

The wheelchair paused; Logan didn't turn around.

"Goes well with dessert." Logan nodded over his shoulder. "In the fridge."

Dessert turned out to be what looked like boiled pears with something crunchy sprinkled generously over it. It smelled good. The spicy, woodsy aroma of nutmeg and cinnamon filled his nostrils.

Despite the enticing scent, Alec wasn't sure why anyone would want to cook a perfectly good pear. He liked pears. And was fine eating them in that flaky pastry thing Logan made once. Hell, as is, the fruit was just as tasty.

Alec shrugged. Rich people and their food. He grabbed the two blue glazed bowls. He paused when he stepped away from the fridge and realized Logan wasn't by the couch, but sitting on the floor, out of his wheelchair, stoking a fire.

"Just in case," Logan echoed from before when Alec came over. 

Alec stared dumbly at the photos Logan tossed into the fire. Alec traded his bowls of dessert for a chance to play pyro. He sat cross-legged by the fire. The heat felt like a branding iron. Alec only hoped it was searing off the bad skin clinging to him.

Glassware tinkled, forks chimed as Logan distributed the pears and glasses of sweet smelling white wine. 

The pears were creamy when Alec pierced the boil-softened skin with his fork. He copied Logan, swirling the fruit into the crunchy honey golden bits before taking a bite. He pulled back the bowl to blink at it.

"Poached pears," Logan explained. He raised his wine glass. "Muscat. Pre-Pulse." 

The wine was syrupy, sweeter than Alec expected and would have normally liked. But as promised, the wine did go well with the pears. The wine has the tang of something sweet, fruity, yet offered the fizziness of champagne bubbles. 

"Still a waste of pear," Alec gestured with his fork before chunking out another glistening, snowy-white mound. 

Logan shrugged. "I would have put ice cream on top but that's hard to find these days. Dairy is at its premium." His face darkened. "People are lucky if they can even get a carton of milk nowadays."

"It's fine. I mean, it looks good," Alec hedged. He smiled. It felt too stretched on his face though. "You haven't poisoned me yet." He laughed awkwardly.

"Never," Logan said immediately with feeling. 

Alec's chuckle froze at the base of his throat. He could feel the heat from the fireplace spreading across his face.

Hearing himself, Logan dropped his eyes. He stared hard at the bowl, his fork listlessly tapping on the fruit as if checking for weak spots.

Alec hastily scooped more fruit into his mouth.

Between bites of dessert, Alec idly tossed more photos into the fire. Most of them were back shots, side profiles, shadows that may have or may not have been him or Logan.

Sometimes Logan hesitantly remarked on a photo, something about the location, how Sweeper must have taken the photo. Alec corrected him at times; the angles were wrong or the lighting suggested some place higher.

"This guy can get into tight places," Logan murmured as he tracked one photo Alec tossed in the fire. He frowned to himself. "I was pretty sure that location was secure when I met my informant."

"He can jump ten foot fences; he probably found spots no one can easily access." Alec watched flames licked the photo's edges, inching to the center.

"Did you find out how he was able to do what he does?" Logan darted a look to Alec, his brow furrowed. "Is he..."

Alec shook his head. "Pretty sure he's not. He doesn't fit the cookie cutter Manticore uses. I don't know. He insisted he's like me, but besides his ability to ignore how bad things smell around him; he comes off one hundred percent goofy to me." He bit his lower lip. "I'm trying to figure him out, but no, he's not a custom-made robot like me."

Logan's mouth pressed thin. "You're not a robot," he muttered, too low that Alec wasn't sure it was what he said.

"Whatever," Alec mumbled. He clamped both his hands over his crossed ankles. "Anyway, he's not an X-5. He's just...weird."

"Jumping at impossible heights is more than weird," Logan pointed out. "I wonder if he—" His words stuttered to a halt.

Logan peeled the next photo off the stack. A dark man stood very close to Logan's chair, his broad shoulders set, his eyes narrowed, fiercely intent even in the glossy flat.

"Bling?" Alec watched Logan's Adam Apple bob.

"Bling," Logan rasped. He hesitated.

"Keep it," Alec suggested.

Logan wordlessly shook his head. He tossed it into the fire. He stared at it as the blurry image shrank into dark ash.

"He's been taking pictures for a long time." Logan's jaw clenched. "I'd never noticed."

"Hey." Alec took the stack of photos from Logan. " _I_ didn't notice either until the night he called out. He was a tricky bastard to track." He flipped up the next shot. 

"See that angle? That's a sniper shot." Alec turned it back towards him. "Far enough away to remain undetected; close and high enough to..."

Alec's throat locked around the words he was going to say. His stomach churned. He went cold.

All Sweeper or anyone else needed was a good enough gun, steady enough hands, good enough angle to aim for a head sh—

The photo was crumpled and tossed into the hottest part of the flames.

Logan appeared thoughtful as he studied the disintegrating photo. "The way the photo was focused, it was probably taken from a gap between two structures. It looks to be long range; no one can make a shot from there easily." He glanced over to Alec. He reached over and gripped the closest knee.

"You'll need military grade weaponry to do any of that." Logan smiled briefly. 

Alec smirked darkly. He stuck out his hand. 

"Hey, I'm X-494, how ya doing?"

Before Alec could drop his hand, Logan captured it. Long fingers wrapped around Alec's.

"Could have sworn your name was Alec." Logan released his hand after a brief squeeze.

Warmth lingered; Alec curled his hand to keep it as he lowered it.

"Yeah, well, could have sworn your name was Heather."

The two chuckled weakly.

The rest of Alec's pear dissolved into a pool of juice and crumble topping. He swirled his fork into the mix as he tossed a photo of him entering _Jam Pony_ for the first time. Sweeper caught him standing at the doorway, one foot in, one foot out. He thought about Original Cindy and Sketchy rolling up the ramps with their bikes.

"We were made to be weapons."

Alec jumped slightly at the sound of his own voice. It was a hoarse creature that crawled out his throat.

"Maybe that's what they thought they were creating." Logan gazed thoughtfully at the fire. He swirled the wine in his glass, letting the honey toned liquid flare golden in the fire. "But life can't be created for a single purpose and it never goes as planned."

Alec scoffed. "That sounds very philosophical."

"No, speaking from experience." Logan's smile was brittle.

The pit of Alec's stomach soured. "Max."

A shadow flickered across Logan's face, but he nodded. 

Alec looked down at his lap. There was still half a stack. He wondered if Sweeper took any pictures of the guy. He wondered if he really wanted to see Max's face though.

"It's different," Alec finally said. "Your friend got out before Manticore..." His throat worked. "Manticore poured a bucket load of money into _upgrading_ us after the first ones went AWOL. I almost gave them their money's worth before I ditched." He rubbed a thumb across his fingers, the fingers Logan had wrapped his hand around before.

"Almost." Logan reached over and took a few photos from the stack. Alec fought not to lean in when the back of Logan's hand grazed along the line of his jeans, over his inner thigh.

"But not anymore." Logan gave each photo a glance before he tossed them in the fire. 

Alec stared at the fire greedily eating their faces. Damn, Sweeper got better over time. Flames burned through an almost luminescent shot of his side profile, the wool scarf obscuring the lower part of his face.

"Does that matter?" Alec said, almost absently, as he watched the fire eat the line of his nose, the gleam in his eyes.

"Yes."

The conviction in Logan's voice broke Alec's reverie. He looked up and held Logan's gaze.

"I'm sorry about your wall," Alec blurted. "Hell, it wasn't doing anything for your place anyway. All that glass and wood was way too modern mausoleum like."

Logan smiled faintly. "I'm trying not to take offense to my taste in interior decorating." He glanced around. "Went through a phase when I finally realized I needed to face reality and change some things to...adjust to my condition."

Out of the corner of Alec's eye, the kitchen island with the lower table stuck out like a sore thumb. Alec turned his head and stared at the fire until the glare made his eyes water.

"It's not that bad. A little too minimalist, maybe," Alec mumbled. "Could use some porn hanging on the walls to spruce up the place."

"I'll get on that," Logan said dryly.

Alec snorted half-heartedly. He flipped through the photos before chucking a pile in. He stared at the fire; he felt the crackling in his bones.

"They used to saw into our femurs." Alec poked a finger through the rest of the photographs. He could sense Logan staring at him, but he didn't look to see if he was right. "To access our marrow's stem cells and to teach our bodies how to heal from clean breaks faster." He stuck his fork in his mouth to suck the lingering remains of the dessert but when he tasted metal instead, he pulled it away, his throat working.

"I still hear it sometimes." Alec shrugged. "Some people get tinnitus, I get the greatest hits of miniature saw number five."

The fire popped in response. Alec distractedly brushed an ember off his jeans.

Logan slowly turned to watch the fire. He glided a finger around the rim of his wine glass. When it started to whine in a high note, Alec flinched. Logan abruptly pulled his hand away.

"For a while, in the beginning," Logan rasped, "I used to wake up and forget I..." He gestured to his legs stretched out in front of him. "I would sit up and then..." He laughed strangely. "Sometimes in my chair, I forget too. It was an awkward first few weeks."

Alec heard it before. Nevertheless, he found himself wiggling closer until he bumped shoulders with Logan.

"Sometimes I gotta remind myself not to scarf down my food." Alec poked a finger in the bowl and twirled the fork. "I forget that I don't just have ten minutes to eat anymore."

"I wake myself up trying to roll onto my side to sleep." 

Alec swallowed. "I still taste chlorine from their pool."

Logan rubbed his legs. "I sometimes have to feel if they're still there."

"Sometimes I think I can hear his god damn stopwatch," Alec choked out.

The weight of Logan's shoulder pressed into Alec's arm. "Sometimes, I think I can still feel something."

Alec glanced over. Logan held one last photo, his fingers stroking one spot over and over.

With a jolt, Alec realized it was a shot of Alec standing somewhere with Sketchy. He vaguely remembered Sketchy had once dragged him there to hold his spot in the gas line. The messenger brought back burritos in exchange. They stood on that line, Sketchy's gas can tucked protectively between their feet, their mouths full of spicy ground beef. Alec was grinning toothily at Sketchy, unabashed about the food all over his face as Sketchy sputtered because Alec had just told him he thought he tasted something other than beef in it.

Alec's throat felt tight when he turned back to the fire.

"I think you can feel a lot more than you think," Alec said carefully. "But I think you're scared shitless to find out for sure." He pretended he didn't see Logan fold up the photo. He thought of the one in his jeans' pocket. He had found some thick clear packing tape. He had pressed a layer of the transparent adhesive over Logan's photo, front and back, his thumb smoothing out any air bubbles. The stiff layer erased the fold crease down the middle. It felt a little weird in the back of his jeans; this hard square with its now pointy corners. But he liked the reminder it was there. 

"Maybe." Logan sighed. 

Alec let his weight pin Logan's shoulder to the couch. He turned, his mouth an exhale away from Logan's lips.

"What you've been feeling so far," Alec murmured, "it was good, wasn't it?"

Logan's eyes drifted to Alec's mouth then back up to his eyes. His lips parted. Alec could smell the sweet tang of the wine in his exhale.

"It was good," Logan agreed, his voice breathless. He rolled back his shoulder from under Alec. 

"It's going to get better," Alec said as he watched Logan stretch his arms above his head. 

Logan froze. He lowered his arms. His eyes slid over to Alec.

Alec held up his hands. "Slow. I know. I'm only saying I would like to see if there can be more, but I know. I know. Slow."

Logan's mouth twisted. "I'm not..." He sighed and sank back against the couch. He stared at the fading fire with a distant expression. 

Alec carefully eased closer to Logan. "You're not, like, having a 'Oh my God, he has a dick' crisis on me, are you?"

Logan snorted. He waved vaguely towards Alec. "Thank you. I forgot to add that to my list." He shook his head. "No, you being a guy weren't an issue that came to mind."

"So, you've been with a guy before." Something flared in Alec's gut at the thought of other hands, _not_ Alec's hands, had run claim on Logan's body.

Logan shook his head. Alec felt both a warm flutter in his chest and an icy lump in his throat.

Alec gulped as he faced the fireplace. He was acutely aware now of how close Logan was.

"Cool," Alec joked weakly. "I knew I was good. I mean, I got a lesbian to switch teams, didn't think—"

Logan interrupted with a half-choked chuckle. It sounded hysterical. "I don't have the urge to check out Matt Sung now."

"Better not," Alec muttered. He smiled brightly at Logan's eyebrow. "I mean, because he's married. That would be bad, _Eyes Only_."

Alec's smile faded. He swallowed. He dropped his hands inside the well of his crossed legs.

"Alec?"

"You might want to reconsider though; what if I freaked out over nothing again?" Alec whispered.

Logan ran a knuckle up Alec's thigh. "It wasn't nothing."

Alec deflated. He sagged sideways into Logan. "I almost took your head off."

Lips brushed against Alec's temples. "You didn't."

"I almost did." 

"I was once told almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades."

Alec wearily snorted. He studied the wadded charred lumps burning in the fire. "We're both really messed up, huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Logan said lightly. "I feel well-adjusted despite my sudden fondness for your dick."

Startled, Alec burst into laughter. He pressed his face into Logan's shaking shoulder. Alec could feel Logan's chuckles vibrating through him, sinking deep into his body. Logan's mirth curled warm in his insides like the first hot drink on a cold day. He brushed his mouth along a firm bicep and the edge of Logan's short sleeve. The muscle under his lips jumped.

"I kinda like your dick, too," Alec murmured. 

Logan sank to the carpet by the fire, Alec's hand cradling the back of his head as he lowered them both to the floor. Alec nibbled his way up Logan's shirt to rest his head on Logan's chest.

It was reminiscent of this morning, only there was no sharp ringing in Alec's ears, his limbs were loose where they were stiff before. Logan still breathed heavily under Alec, quickening as Alec stripped him of his shirt, short and panting when Logan stripped Alec of his. Logan lay on the carpet, just like before, but Alec no longer felt the urge to stay away, to avoid accidentally shattering or crushing or maiming. 

No, Alec only wanted to devour what stretched out underneath him now. He dropped his mouth over Logan's heart and suckled hard below a nipple. He ignored Logan's needy sounds as he applied more pressure on the spot. Alec growled and finished, parting with a wet _pop_.

A mark bloomed over where Logan's heart is. Alec thought he could see the purpling bruise throb frantically over a heart; a heart now marked as Alec's.

Alec smirked. "Also like your mouth. And your ears. And your left nipple. Oh, and your right."

"No accounting for taste," Logan gasped, responding a beat too late to what Alec said.

Logan shivered as Alec draped himself over Logan and began to attack the mentioned spots.

"Is that all?" Logan panted. Logan's fingers raked along Alec's sides. 

Alec raised his head. He smirked, kiss swollen lips felt burning on his face. 

"Nope," Alec breathed as he dove back in.

 

The fire was gone. Its embers cooled into ash that fluttered up when Alec blew into the hearth.

Alec carefully tucked a rolled fleece blanket under cramping back muscles.

Pain lines smoothed away from Logan's brow as he slept on. He lay supine on the carpet, his legs straight, his upper body loose, arms looped around Alec. Alec suspected before the shooting, Logan was a sprawled out, bed hogging sort of guy.

Logan's head was turned towards the fireplace, mouth partially opened. He had drifted off to a light sleep, his fingers that were drumming down Alec's scalp finally still.

The heart underneath Alec's ear thumped serenely. Steady, rhythmic, unchanging. Like a stopwatch. Only better.

Alec's head rolled on Logan's sweat matted chest. He focused past the couch, past the kitchen area. The metal frame that once held glass looked bereft as it gaped wide to show...

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Nothing stood behind the glass partition. Nothing of value; nothing of interest. A whole lot of nothing to show what a clusterfuck Alec was. Over a lousy shredder. Alec lost his shit over office supplies.

Alec rubbed his chin over the mark on Logan's chest.

Logan murmured sleepily.

"Sh," Alec whispered. "Go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you. I just..."

Logan's eyes opened a slit. Cloudy green looked down at Alec.

Alec gulped past the painful lump in his throat. "This morning. The glass. I—I...I'm—"

Logan's arms tightened around Alec, silencing him. Alec tried again, but Logan's hand curled around a bare shoulder. With a sigh that almost sounded like Alec's name, Logan drifted back to sleep.

Alec stared at Logan. He dropped his head down over the _thump-thump_.It sounded against his ear; the beat rippled down and soothed the pangs digging into his gut. 

"I think," Alec rasped, "I think I'm kinda fond of you, too."

Logan's fingers twitched on Alec's skin. 

As Alec sank into sleep, he smiled against Logan's warm skin.

 

"Hey, your boyfriend's here."

Alec blinked and looked over his shoulder. He groaned when he spotted the shadow hovering by the entrance instead. A grimy hand saluted sharply to Alec in such a fashion, Alec almost fired one back. When he caught himself mid-salute, he jammed his fists into his pockets. He glowered at Sweeper. Sweeper blanched and darted back outside.

"Aw," Sketchy chortled. "Is he shy?" 

Alec thumped a fist lightly on Sketchy's arm. The lanky messenger snickered.

Herbal, still smelling vaguely like the joint he had this morning, frowned towards the entrance.

"Is he bothering you, brother?" Herbal thumbed up his floppy knitted cap. He scowled.

Alec scoffed. "Hell yeah he bothers m—whoa, whoa, whoa, it's cool, man." Alec snagged Herbal's elbow before he could stalk off. "What happened to peace, love and Jah, man?"

Herbal grinned to Alec. "I would show him." He and Sketchy both lifted their fists.

Alec's chest did a funny, squirming thing; he grinned back. "Aw, guys. Thanks but it's all right. He's just a buddy of mine. _Weird_ , but harmless. He likes to drop by and say 'howdy'."

"Four days in a row? That's more of a courting gesture than morning salutations. My ladies loved it whenever I did that." Sketchy readjusted his black ball cap over his brown eyes. "Someone's in love with Heather here."

"He's not my boyfriend," Alec grumbled good-naturedly as he gave Sweeper a small nod when the goof timidly stuck his head in again. 

Alec rolled his eyes when Sweeper gave him an 'Okay' hand gesture and exaggerated finger pointing that he would be outside. 

"Stopping by to say 'howdy' is not a very buddy thing to do," Sketchy pointed out.

Alec batted his eyes at the messenger. "Don't be jealous. He means nothing to me. You're the only one for me, Calvin Simon Theodore."

Herbal snickered. Sketchy groaned and waved off Alec as he got on his bike. Alec bumped fists with Sketchy as he rode by, snickering when Normal predictably hollered and ducked out the double doors.

"My recon report from yesterday." Sweeper saluted sharply as soon as Alec stepped outside. It would have been impressive if it didn't look so ridiculous.

"Put your hand down," Alec hissed. He grabbed Sweeper by the elbow and jerked his hand down.

Sweeper's brown eyes widened and he stooped. "Oh yes. Incognito. Sorry." He placed a finger to his lips and shushed. Loudly.

For the hundredth time since he'd recruited the guy, Alec wanted to throttle him. He snapped his fingers.

"You know what? Forget it. Give me."

Sweeper's eyes darted left and right before he yanked out a stack of photos.

Alec scanned through the stack quickly, dismissing faces he knew already. 

"No sign of those guys from before?" Alec asked tersely as he paused at one with Logan, in his wheelchair, talking to a Steelhead Alec knew often liked things other than cash for whatever information he had. He didn't like the way the metal skull-plated freak had one hand on Logan's shoulder, crotch a little too close as he gestured with his other hand. Logan appeared unimpressed on the photo.

Alec folded that one for later.

"He hasn't been out as frequently as he used to." Sweeper appeared disappointed. "It didn't seem like our leader was followed the past few days."

Alec darted Sweeper a look. " _Our_ leader?" he repeated archly.

Sweeper once again did the zipping lips, loud shushing motion. The lens attached to his leather hood, bobbled frantically as he turned his head left and right in wide, sweeping motions.

Amateurs; he's working with god damn amateurs.

"He should be out today, meeting with informants," Alec said crisply. Sweeper nodded. At least the guy never took notes. He committed everything to memory. "Today is when he usually meets up with a guy named Louis on Hanson again. Then he sees a Detective Sung at around 1100. But the locations always changes. Wait outside his building after this. He should be heading out soon."

Sweeper looked serious as he readjusted his goggles. Alec screwed up his face; there was that odd whirring noise again when Sweeper spun on his heels. 

"I will report back anything of interest, fellow defender," Sweeper intoned over his shoulder. 

"Fellow what?" Alec sputtered as Sweeper garbled some weird quote and bounded off into his mission.

Alec stared after him for a bit. He then ducked into the tight alley next to _Jam Pony_ ; no one used the narrow space. He stood there and quietly burned the photos. He waited until the photos were ash. He kicked the remains, scattered them with the rest. He gathered the mixed debris: half went in the trash outside, the other half left spread out on the alley. The weather would take care of it. Done, he went back inside.

 

_"Hey."_

Alec grinned when the line connected only after the second ring. Logan sounded alert despite the hour.

"That was quick," Alec teased. "Were you waiting by the phone for my call?" He leaned his bike closer to the payphone. He glanced around, but most of the messengers were too busy ribbing and joking to notice or care.

"Hillside projects!" Normal hollered behind Alec. "Bip, bip, bip!"

 _"No hot runs this morning?"_ Logan returned. 

"Nah, for once, everyone came in on-time to clock in. I thought Normal was going to swoon." Alec could see Normal gesturing towards him wildly out of the corner of his eye. He turned his shoulder and stared at the graffiti on the wall instead. Eventually, Normal gave up and handed his hot run to someone else. "Thought I'd check to see if you missed me?"

 _"I saw you only a few days ago."_ Logan sounded weary but bemused.

"Yeah, but _I_ need my daily dose of naked you. I'm feeling depleted right now." Alec snickered at Logan's sigh. "Hey, I know you told me you were going to be swamped these few days; you got your _porn_ to do. And I needed to make my late night house calls anyway. Think you'll be free for lunch later today though? Or should I just raid your fridge for peanut butter again?"

Logan hesitated.

Alec pouted even though Logan couldn't see it. "Didn't you miss me?"

 _"No—I mean, yes, I did—What I meant was—"_ Logan huffed into the phone at Alec's snicker. 

Alec picked at the paper by the payphone. It was a flyer for a concert three years ago. Someone had plastered another flyer on top of it.

"If you're still busy," Alec said casually, "it's no big deal." He eyed his pager. Sweeper promised to call once Logan was on the move again. "Figured it be nice after being cooped up for so long."

 _"How did you know I was—Alec?"_ Logan's voice sharpened.

Oops. Alec made a face. Thinking quickly, Alec said "Saw Mrs. Moreno. She may have mentioned not seeing you around." 

_"Oh."_ Logan sighed. 

"Look if it's a bad time, I could just—"

_"No. It'll be nice."_

Alec grinned into the phone. "Oh yeah? Think it'll be nice too."

 _"I do have to step out for a few hours. I should be back by three though."_ Logan cleared his throat. _"There's more than just peanut butter here, you know."_

Alec straightened by the phone. "Ooh, was that an innuendo? Are we playing code words? Is peanut butter code for—"

 _"Peanut butter,"_ Logan cut in firmly. _"I only meant there are also anchovies here, too."_

Alec's leer leaked into his voice. "You are way more than just a little fishie to me, babe. Although I would very much like to gobble you up—"

Logan snorted. _"See you at three."_ He hung up abruptly.

Alec cradled the phone to his ear. He could still hear the echoes of Logan's laugh bouncing pleasantly in his ear. It wasn't a sound he would associate with Gloom Doom Cale, but he could get used to it. He tugged on a lobe. He smiled as he hung up. 

"Would anyone like to not get fired today?" Normal waved two mailing tubes in the air like nun chucks. He looked wild-eyed, leaning out of his fenced domain as if he would leap onto a bicycle himself. "Hot runs to Pike and Green!"

Alec took pity; he gestured he would take them. He was still grinning when he caught the two packages sailing towards his face.

 

It was 0328.

Alec frowned as he checked his watch again. Make that 0329.

"Seriously, Heather?" Alec griped. He sat on the edge of the kitchen island, juggling the two unopened jars of anchovies he found in the fridge filled with this morning's grocery deliveries.

The glass jars were the size of oranges; they rolled easily in Alec's hand like Chinese medicine balls. He spun them idly in his grip. He stared hard at the hallway and _not_ at the gaping metal frame hanging now only on its top hinge. 

The penthouse looked the same when Alec last saw it a few days ago. Interestingly enough, the ash from the photos were still a powdery silver mound inside the hearth. The couch was rumpled. When Alec dropped into the one facing the windows, he took a deep whiff of Logan's scent that rose in his wake.

Logan's gun was in his desk. His computers were lying dormant for their master. The blue fleece blanket and a pillow from the bedroom were jammed up at one end of the couch. A mug streaked with dried coffee sat cold and empty on the dining room table.

But no Logan.

Alec checked his watch again. It was 0331. He set his jaw. Okay, the guy was never punctual. He studied the living room. With a grimace, he slid off the counter and strode towards the phone on the small media cabinet under the flat screen.

 

 _"Sung."_ Matt Sung picked up at the second ring, alert, curt and very much alive.

The round glass jars chased each other in Alec's hand. He opened his mouth, made a face and eyed the telephone cradle.

 _"Hello?"_ Sung asked again. _"Logan?"_

Alec jerked the phone to his ear again. "Isn't he with you?" he demanded.

_"Dean?"_

Alec didn't bother with the niceties. "I thought Logan was meeting you today."

 _"He called and canceled. Said something came up."_ The frown was audible in Sung's voice. _"I thought you were shadowing him."_

"Hey, as freakish the thought is, I _do_ have a job." Alec scowled. He dug his pager out. It was dull, inactive. No one, not even from one high jumping, over eager fan boy. "But I—damn it. When did he call you?"

_"Around nine. Did you call him?"_

Chagrin rose up Alec's cheeks. He set the glass jars down before he dropped them.

"Not really," Alec mumbled. "I mean, I called him about lunch earlier. He said three, but it's—Look, I don't want to be calling him bitching he's late."

 _"Okay,"_ Sung drew out. " _Is this another thing I don't want to know about?"_

"Maybe."

Sung sighed. _"I'll call him. From what it sounded like, he didn't seem worried though."_

Alec checked his pager again. Still nothing. 

"Nah, I'll call him. I—hold on, I think that's him at the door right now."

_"Wait, are you in his apart—"_

"Later." Alec hung up on Sung's outburst when the door opened. He returned the phone to its cradle, sat on the edge of the couch's back and waited. 

The vise around Alec's chest loosened when the sound of a tread stuck briefly on the foyer's marble floor. He bit his lower lip, his eyes glued to the hallway for the wheelchair to appear. His cheeks ached though from the grin that wanted to break free.

Keys dropped. Its jangle was almost musical against the stone.

Alec's grin faded when he heard the muffled curse, the sharp intake before the keys were finally retrieved off the floor. He could hear the shallow breathing, ragged and harsh.

Before Alec could leap off the couch, the wheelchair entered the hallway. It creaked briefly then stopped.

"Oh." Logan breathed out in a whoosh. "Damn, I forgot we were meeting at..." He squinted at his cell phone. "Three o'clock." He grimaced. "Sorry. Something came up and I..." 

Logan trailed off with a wince and he steered for the kitchen.

Alec watched as minutely trembling fingers curled around the fridge's door handle.

"I had some anchovies delivered this morning before you called. I can toast some bread if you want." Logan sat ramrod straight as he studied the fridge's contents. "For once I actually don't have peanut butter." He laughed; his voice was strained as if worn thin over gravel. "We could order—"

"How bad is your back right now?" Alec said to the white knuckles curled around the handle.

Logan sat there staring into the fridge. Alec waited. 

A beat later, Logan exhaled shakily. His hand unfurled from its trembling grip on the handle.

"That obvious?" Logan rasped. He closed his eyes as he rested his head on the fridge door. "I had to pull over for a few hours. Too hard to drive."

Alec stayed by the island. His gut felt cold, his skin too tight and he knew if he turned around, he'll see the accusing empty frame.

"Is it because..." Alec swallowed the razor blades choking his throat. "I dragged you out of your chair pretty hard." Human bone was so fragile; Alec thought he could hear crackling in his ear.

Logan flicked a look over his shoulder to Alec. The movement cost too much; Logan faced forward quickly.

"If I say no," Logan murmured, "you wouldn't believe me anyway." He shut the fridge and rolled away from it. 

"You should have said something before." The words tasted sour, bile foul, on Alec's tongue.

"To be fair, it didn't bother me until the next day and even then, it was only...annoying." Logan grimaced as he wheeled up to Alec. "Next day though..."

Alec pressed his mouth thin. "Probably didn't help you slept on the couch," he guessed. He knew he hit his mark when Logan sighed. "Your couch is comfy, but not comfy enough for an all nighter."

Logan shrugged. He made a face when the gesture pulled muscles. "I have trouble sleeping throughout the night so I thought..." A shadow crossed his drawn features. "The couch was also lower, easier to transfer over."

Alec ran his finger across the counter. He remembered some nights feeling Logan start in his arms, breathing too deep to be asleep. He would lie still within Alec's hold for hours before he drifted back to sleep.

"So all that time when you said you were busy with your _Eyes Only_ stuff, you were really—"

"Sitting here, barely able to move and feeling sorry for myself." Logan laughed bitterly. "Trust me; I'm not good company then."

Alec snorted. "And I am?" He waved sharply behind him. "I _break_ things."

Logan edged closer. He rubbed a palm down the side of Alec's knee.

Alec exhaled, his throat aching when he did.

"Wish you said something."

"I thought it would pass. Usually does. I felt better last night so I went out today to see my informants. I was planning to visit my uncle Jonas about something but after moving around in the morning..." Logan winced. 

"Come on, forget lunch." Alec headed for the bedroom. After a pause, Logan followed.

Logan eyed his bed with a weary look. 

"A little early for a nap." Logan squeezed the hand rims of his chair. He took his time taking off his grip gloves.

"No such thing. I once caught Sketchy napping at _nine_ o'clock." Alec paused. "Then again, it _is_ Sketchy."

Logan tiredly scoffed. He reached down to his shoes. With a hiss, he straightened.

Alec sat down on the carpet by Logan's feet. Before he could reach the sneakers though, the wheelchair inched back.

"It's all right," Logan said lamely. "I, uh, I'll get them off...on the bed..."

Alec pulled his hands back. He stared at the bony ankles exposed just below the hem of Logan's jeans. Logan forgot his socks again.

"Sure," Alec said, subdued. "Okay."

Logan dropped a hand on Alec's shoulder. It sounded like Logan wanted to say something; Alec could hear him running his tongue over his lower lip, mouth parting...

The hand dropped as Logan edged closer to the bed.

Logan propped an elbow on the mattress. He hesitated. He braced, his back arching briefly towards the bed. He grunted and abruptly slouched back down.

Alec grimaced. "Sleeping your bony ass in the couch was a dumb idea."

"Seemed like a good idea at the time." Logan glared at his bed.

"Uh." Alec poked the carpet beneath him. "Want help? I promised not to grope you too much."

Logan's shoulders slumped. "No, I got this."

Maybe, but Alec's chest felt tight as he watched Logan's shoulders bunch to hoist himself up.

"There's nothing wrong with asking for help, you know."

Logan gave Alec an unreadable look over his shoulder.

"What?" Alec shuffled closer to Logan. He held up a hand. "I solemnly swear my hands will stay where they're supposed to."

Logan tracked Alec as he rose to stand on his knees. He reluctantly raised his arms, bracketing Alec's shoulders. 

Alec wrapped an arm around Logan's middle. He felt the other's back stiffening in response. He reached behind Logan with the other hand for the edge of the mattress. 

"You usually smell like coffee." Alec smoothed a palm down from Logan's ear to his shoulder. He tipped his head back to look at Logan.

Logan's eyes were smoky this close. His lips pressed together then parted.

"The caffeine was making it worse," Logan murmured. 

Alec leaned in to get better leverage. He took a deep breath into the short hairs behind Logan's ear. He smelled the soap. 

The solid feel of Logan's body breathing against Alec sent a ripple down his back and settled somewhere at the base of his spine. His arms flexed in response, pulling Logan harder against him.

Logan's breath caught. His arms cinched tighter around Alec.

Alec couldn't stop himself from pressing his lips onto the side of Logan's nape. 

"Ready?"

Logan swallowed. "I...I need a minute."

"Take all the time you need," Alec croaked.

Logan took a deep breath. Alec pressed his face to the crook of Logan's shoulder. He breathed in when Logan exhaled. 

The two stayed there, arms around each other. Alec thought the air around them stilled. He thought there was something right about how their breathing easily fell back into that familiar unified pattern. It sounded right in his ears.

"I'm ready." Logan sounded anything but, though. His arms curled tighter around Alec's shoulders before one reached back, breaking the circle and to Alec, the moment.

Alec blinked, momentarily disoriented, before he braced himself and gave Logan the necessary boost to haul himself up into the bed. His stomach clenched at the pained sound Logan couldn't stifle. He dropped back down on the carpet by Logan's feet, watching the other arrange himself and pull his legs to stretch out. 

Logan's breath stuttered against Alec. He thought about how they sat there on the carpet a few nights ago, the fire warm on their faces. And he thought about Logan's arms and their heavy weight on his shoulders.

But Alec also remembered how easy bones could break. He remembered how glass had rained over them. He remembered sniper shots and steady hands.

An aborted inhale drew Alec out of his thoughts. He grimaced; Logan was only able to tug one shoe off. He sat there, almost bent in half, his head hanging over his knees.

"Damn it," Logan bit out. "I can't...not even a god damn shoe..."

"Easy. Let me." 

"No. It's fine." Logan tugged his foot away from Alec. "I'll—" He blanched when he tried again. He sagged towards the side of the bed. Alec smoothly butted a shoulder in-between Logan and a humiliating fall.

Logan stared hard at his legs, his torso leaning onto Alec's shoulder. He closed his eyes and dropped his chin in defeat.

Alec wordlessly helped Logan out of his other shoe. He slipped off the jeans as well, one arm slipped under Logan's hips when Logan couldn't help. He kept it clinical, his hands economical because every joke, every comment he wanted to say died in his mouth each time Logan bit back a groan. Alec sat closer, Logan sagging forward to his chest, as he proceeded to pull Logan's henley over his head. 

Alec stopped.

"Shit," Alec breathed, his voice cracking. His hand shook as it hovered over the bruise that went up, past the whitish surgical scars. Muscles bunched under Alec's hand; skin was too hot, too taut under purplish red flesh.

"I would say it's not as bad as it looks," Logan murmured against Alec's shoulder. "But I hadn't been able to turn around and check."

Alec splayed a palm on the angry looking bruise. Logan flinched. Alec gulped and pressed down, carefully. Logan whimpered.

"Just checking your kidneys." Alec brushed his lips over Logan's temple resting against his jaw. "Been pissing blood?"

Logan huffed into the crook of Alec's neck. "I didn't fall out of my chair _that_ hard."

"Heather, it looks like I ran you over with your chair." Alec lightly ran his thumb up along Logan's spine, stuttering over the bumps and knots of scar tissue midway. 

Logan's hands clawed the bedspread beneath them.

Alec cupped Logan's sides and tentatively squeezed. Ribs flexed only minutely, but enough for the gnarled lump to unravel in Alec's throat.

"Ribs intact," Alec reported.

"Again," Logan said, strained, "I didn't fall out of my chair that hard."

"Technically," Alec reminded him. " _I_ pulled you out of that chair that hard."

"Only because of the glass."

"Glass that _I_ broke." Alec ran his palm down Logan's back, palm sweeping over the discolor that took up three hands span. He felt muscles jump, contracting even when there was no more room to contract.

Logan breathed harshly. The covers made a raw, scraping, tearing noise as his fingers dig deeper.

"Sh," Alec murmured."Come on, lie down." He felt Logan resisting. "You need sleep on a real bed and some good drugs in you."

"In my medicine cabinet—"

"You got squat." Alec eased Logan to lie flat. "I still have some of the stuff from last time."

Green eyes glazed with pain sharpened on Alec's face.

Alec shrugged. "I said I wouldn't leave the rest here; I never said I wouldn't carry them around with me." He smirked wearily at Logan's frown. 

Logan didn't look like he would be _in the mood_ for food anytime soon; nevertheless, Alec went into the kitchen and grabbed a slice of bread to go with the three white pills and a tall glass of water. 

Lying flat didn't seem to have helped Logan when Alec returned. Bloodshot eyes flew open the moment Alec entered the bedroom. 

Alec paused at the doorway. A vise squeezed around his chest as he stared at the bed, at Logan, at the lines drawn on his face.

"I know you probably won't feel like eating," Alec said. He found himself talking lower; it didn't make sense. Logan was wide awake. He gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed. "But you need to take something before the good stuff."

Alec stared at the nightstand while Logan ate the bread, took the pills and drained the glass. He looked cold in just his boxers; he watched Alec as the covers were pulled up to his chin.

"Sucks seeing you like this," Alec croaked. He stared at the top fold of the blanket. He idly smoothed it out. He smiled lopsidedly. "I wasn't thinking about food when we talked about me coming over for lunch."

"I hate you seeing me like this," Logan rasped. He blinked, eyelids dragging lower as the drugs must be kicking in. 

"...wheelchair guy..." Logan mumbled.

Alec's smile faded, not that he was trying really hard to keep it up. 

"Hell, I already knew that," Alec murmured. He fidgeted under the unnerving slit of green on his face. He traced the line of Logan's arm with a finger. "It doesn't change anything, you know." He rubbed the cool knuckles before tucking the hand under the covers. "I didn't come here to see the wheelchair; came to see you." 

Logan studied him with half-mast eyes, staring as if Alec was one of the files piled up high on his dining table. Alec tried to match his gaze. He couldn't. The lump in his throat grew and grew.

"The glass..." Alec started when Logan wove their hands together. He stared dumbly at their clasped hands. He gave an experimental squeeze. He felt lightheaded when Logan's hand gripped back.

"You should go back to work," Logan slurred. "I'm going to be out for a while." He blinked hard, trying to keep Alec in focus. 

"Maybe dinner?" Alec suggested, not moving. Logan still looked cold. He tugged the blanket higher. Maybe he should get the fleece.

Something dark and raw flickered across Logan's face.

"Maybe not tonight," Logan croaked. "Think these pills will put me out for a while."

Alec brushed bangs away from Logan's eyes."Want some company?"

There was a flash of pain that drew Alec's brow together.

"Pills not kicking in?"

"No, no, I..." Logan reached up for Alec's hand on his head. At the last minute, he pulled away. 

"I wish you didn't have to see me like this," Logan repeated.

Alec's brow knitted. "It's not the first time."

"It's different now that we're...I mean you and I..." Logan's throat worked. "To see me not even able to..." He sucked in his breath. He offered a brittle grimace.

"Told you I'm not good company right now." Logan's hand snuck out to hook two of Alec's fingers. It was a brief touch; they pulled away the moment Alec felt it.

Alec caught the escaping hand. He didn't say anything. Neither did Logan. Alec sat there on the bed, another apology in his mouth. He suspected there was one in Logan's too, apologies for things Alec wasn't sure why Logan thought needed apologizing for.

Outside, the pager in Alec's messenger bag beeped.

"You need to get back to work." Logan didn't remove his hand though.

Alec grunted. "Not really." He idly laced their fingers together and watched the knuckles in Logan's hand move under thin skin.

Logan stared at the ceiling, his throat working. His hand twitched in Alec's grasp. He closed his eyes and exhaled shakily. He seemed to have shrunk in the bed.

"I wish you didn't see me like this," Logan sighed. "But...thanks."

Alec pulled Logan's hand to his mouth. He kissed each knuckle. He said nothing as he cradled Logan's hand with both of his. He couldn't bring himself to let go, a voice inside screamed for him to hold tight.

Another tiny beep intruded.

"Alec..." Logan murmured sleepily.

"All right. All right. I'll stop freaking Normal out." Alec dropped a kiss on Logan's brow. "Rest up. I'll see you tomorrow." At Logan's hesitation, Alec paused. His stomach twisted. "Day after?"

Logan struggled to keep his eyes open. "I'm—"

"Not great company in this mood. Got it." Alec's face cracked when he grimaced. "I heard you the first time." He rubbed a hand over his neck. He breathed sharply through his nose.

Logan stared up at Alec. His half-mast expression was still intimidating.

"You know none of this matter to me, right?" Alec gestured vaguely towards Logan's wheelchair.

"For some reason, it doesn't," Logan agreed. "But...I can't help feeling like it should." He squeezed Alec's hand before pulling away. He looked like he wanted to roll to his side, but stopped short. His face twisted then smoothed out.

"Give me a few days." Logan smiled faintly. "Let me focus on _Eyes Only_ for now. Keep busy. Fight the fight. Blah, blah, woo—" His face screwed up. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"I need a little time." Logan cracked his eyes open and caught Alec's gaze. "Just to get my head back on straight."

Alec smiled tightly. "Guess you can't get into much trouble in bed," he said lightly. 

Logan abruptly yawned.

Alec snickered. "Yeah, scumbags all over are cowering in their boots and shitting in their pants right now." He swept his hand over the blanket on Logan's chest. "I'll pillage the hordes of the corrupt for now. There are a couple of black markets who missed me." He hesitated. "I will too. Er. Miss you, I mean. Try not to pine over me too much, Heather." When Logan's mouth wearily curled up at the corners, a lump rose in Alec's throat.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but I gotta say it anyway," Alec rasped. "I am sorry about the glass. I'm sorry I screwed up your back and I'm..." He gulped down his apologies when Logan struggled to keep his eyes open.

"Never mind." Alec brushed his mouth across Logan's. "I better blaze before Normal tries to get on a bike to deliver a hot run himself. I heard the last time he did ended in disaster." He rubbed his thumb along Logan's hairline. "He's lucky the cops had busted in to arrest the guy for murder."

Logan smiled crookedly. "You better go."

Alec found himself fighting to get up. He rose to his feet and watched Logan sink deeper into a drugged sleep. He stood longer past that. When his pager chirped outside, he set his jaw and turned on his heel abruptly. He grabbed his bag, his gear and headed for the window. He stopped and glanced behind over his shoulder.

Minutes later, Alec slid a plate of peanut butter sandwiches, crusts cut off, stacked precariously in a crooked tower, into the fridge. He scribbled ' _Be in a mood for these'_ on a post note and stuck it on the side of the gooey pile. 

Alec grunted as he considered the stack. He licked his fingers clean of peanut butter, shut the fridge and slipped back out the window.

 

"Will you cut it out?"

Alec glowered at Sweeper and felt the urge to kick him. Again. 

_"...against the ones who voted against him. The councilman seeks a fifth term, fueling his campaign with the bribes he accepted from the triads..."_

Sweeper, his dark eyes round and bright on his streaked face, stared enthralled at Cole's television over the makeshift bar. At least others appeared as interested if not sharing Sweeper's appearance of wanting to leap up and kiss the damn monitor.

"Dude." Alec elbowed him. "This isn't the first hack you saw today. Stop gawking. Eat your damn food."

To avoid Sweeper popping up at _Jam Pony_ again, Alec went to Sweeper's dump for the recon reports. The guy called his shelter of fences and forgotten duct work his cave of truth and justice. 

Uh. Right. Whatever.

Alec planned to get the report, like he had for the past four days. He caught Sweeper contemplating a dead pigeon he found outside his so called lair. The last thing Alec needed was his asset dying from food poisoning. He dragged Sweeper to Cole's. 

As Sweeper gobbled down the chicken and rice like he hasn't eaten in days—it was a strong possibility—Alec stared at the monitor long after the hack cut back into some sort of cop show.

"Do we need to devise a contingency plan?" Sweeper muffled, his cheeks stuffed with gravy drenched rice. "The councilman may retaliate."

"Will you just eat?" Alec glared. He checked around the makeshift eatery. No one looked their way. His shoulders didn't relax though. 

Sweeper hunched over. He looked odd with his shoulders turtled up to his ears, his cheeks puffed out in alarm. 

"Sorry," Sweeper hushed. He blinked towards Alec. "What is our plan of attack?"

Alec darkened. "We don't. We're only observing." At Sweeper's outraged look, Alec added quickly, "Our, ah, fearless leader needs more data before he decides."

Sweeper nodded gravely, "Then we'll endeavor to do so." He tucked the day old biscuit into his pocket. 

"Great. Endeavor away, big guy." Alec nudged over the extra bread Cole always slipped under the rice. It disappeared just as quickly into Sweeper's other pocket. "Hey, got a question for you."

Sweeper abruptly stopped eating. He looked up, his fork halfway up, a strand of chicken hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

Alec inwardly grimaced. The guy's attention was unnerving. He cracked a smile and gestured to him with a finger. 

"Why did you start doing your...you know." Alec crooked his finger to snap a picture. "World's screwed up, I know, but couldn't you have, I don't know, go do work as a photojournalist or something? You can take all the pictures you want. At least get paid for it." 

Sweeper set down his fork; he cleaned his mouth.

"Why do _you_ do what you do?" Sweeper countered, his voice was suddenly devoid of the usual over-eagerness. "Same as you; I wanted justice. I wanted to fix what was wrong because no one else did." He picked up his fork but didn't start eating again. "Destiny found me and I saw it wanted me to clean up the streets."

Alec resisted grimacing. He didn't have the heart to correct the guy. "Justice. Destiny. Right." He tapped his jaw. "And you thought stalking us was destiny."

Sweeper's smile was almost benevolent despite the dirt smudges that seemed permanently stained on his cheeks. 

"When I first saw your predecessor, I realized I wasn't alone in my fight." Sweeper pretended to punch the air. "It was a gratifying feeling to know someone else cared about the city and didn't give it up for lost." His brown eyes glittered as he remembered, "Then when I discovered _Eyes_ —"

Alec kicked him under the table, but instead of shin, his boot bounced back. Baffled, he glanced under the table. What the hell?

Nevertheless, it worked. Sweeper's mouth clamped shut. He winked at Alec.

Alec rolled his eyes.

"You're not with him," Sweeper observed. He gnawed on the chicken bone, chewing on the cartilage and sucking the marrow.

Alec answered with his eyes glued to the television. "Yeah, we're not joined at the hip, you know." He set his jaw as Sweeper diligently chomped through the cartilage of the second bone.

Appetite gone, Alec pushed his plate over. Sweeper beamed and attacked what was left on Alec's plate with loud slurps.

"You were in his company regularly in the recent weeks," Sweeper noted. "Did he give you a new assignment?" His brown eyes gleamed. "Can I contribute?"

Alec wiggled. Cole's stupid chairs were always lopsided.

"He didn't give me a new assignment," Alec muttered. He took a drink of the mug of soup Cole gave him with the food because last week, Alec may or may not have found the portly owner a working carburetor for the truck that towed his eatery. 

Alec made a face as he continued sipping. "He wanted some time to himself so I'm giving it to him." 

"Ah," Sweeper said. He nodded sagely. "A lover's quarrel."

Alec sputtered. Salty broth dribbled down his chin.

"We didn't—we're not..." Alec glowered at Sweeper.

Sweeper smiled beatifically back at Alec. 

"Shut up and eat your damn food," Alec grumbled. He kept his eyes on the screen behind Sweeper, but the show stayed uninterrupted throughout their meal.

 

There was a bar code on River's neck.

Alec narrowed his eyes. He lowered his beer as he surreptitiously tracked the brunette messenger to the center staging area: a space made by shoving four bar tables together and topped with a wooden pallet. 

River's normally long wavy dark locks were braided up today to swing like rope on the crown of her head. The bar code burned into Alec's retinas from where he watched. She straddled her bike to try and top Herbal's stunt. She failed, but she was laughing as she gave up her ten to Sketchy.

Under the guise of drinking his beer, Alec thought over what he knew. River was petite, athletic but also near-sighted as hell. He caught her popping in contacts every morning but she still ran into locker doors. Normal often griped about how slow she was, but ever mindful of the company's policy on diversity, kept her on.

River glanced his way with smiling dark eyes and winked. 

Alec froze.

The messenger never gave him a vibe she was a Manticore custom. Then again, X-5s were made to blend in when necessary. Alec watched as River tried another stunt, failed and lost another ten bucks. She sauntered off with Original Cindy, weaving through the crowds. She was drunk or made a convincing one.

Alec tipped the mug to his mouth again as he watched her. Her bar code flared like a fluorescent tag. Yet River appeared nonplussed about it. Her hair swung wildly on top of her head like the rope of a hangman's noose. 

"She's not interested."

Alec flicked his eyes up to Original Cindy. He grunted as she slid into the seat next to him. She tugged his peanut bowl away from him. She nodded towards River. She was cheering Sketchy on as he spun his ride's rear wheel like a gyroscope. 

"Not my type," Alec murmured. River was flushed as she stole a sip of Brake's beer.

"Yours is more blonde, hazel eyed, ass like—" Cindy smirked when Alec's glare snapped her way. "Original Cindy plays her own team, but she can still appreciate." She tossed a peanut into her red mouth. She decided on a cherry red lipstick today to match her sleek red knee high boots. 

"Although you've been moping around here past few nights. What gives?"

"He needed a few days," Alec muttered. He tracked River to the billiards tables. She waved a twenty, smacking it onto the felt. Someone handed her a cue stick.

A hand bopped the back of Alec's head.

"No playing in the hen house," Cindy snapped. "Besides, you are not her type."

Alec glowered at her. "I wasn't—wait, she's a lesbian, too?"

Cindy looked smug as she plucked out the last peanut in his bowl. "She will be."

"Ew, how does that even work—All right!" Alec veered his head out of target range. "I'm not thinking of hooking up with her." He leaned into Cindy. Cindy reluctantly copied him.

"Her neck," Alec said low. "Did you see it?"

To Alec's surprise, Cindy shrugged. "She got it yesterday."

"Wait. What?" Alec stared at River. Geez, she was even worst at pool, but as long as the beer kept flowing, she appeared happy.

"Said she wanted to make a statement like you. Sketchy thought it was good to represent how we're all for sale in this screwed up worl—are you okay?"

Alec had automatically reached for the back of his neck while Cindy spoke. When his fingers didn't feel the scratchy papery surface of his gauze pad, Alec froze.

Shit. _Shit_.

Cindy's eyes softened. "They saw it when you were changing two days ago. Thought it was cool. Original Cindy figured you were finally over that acid scrubbing nonsens—where are you going?"

There was a screaming in Alec's ears, high and thin like a steel circle with teeth spinning towards marrow. His skin shrank tight around him, stretching and threatening to tear if he moved. He felt paralyzed, yet his feet moved because he needed to move. _Now._

"I gotta..." 

Alec's eyes snapped towards the bar. The phone was being used. Were they making a call? To who?

His eyes whipped to the billiards tables. Wasn't Pete just over there? Where did he go? Who was he talking to? 

Alec tensed when the waitress approached, but a beat later, she walked past his table. 

The pair at four o'clock. He'd never seen them before.

Was it always this crowded in _Crash_?

The bartender was hired only two months ago. Why was he looking this way?

A hand touched his. Alec recoiled. He stood up so fast, his mug spun and crashed to the floor.

No one turned around, but it felt like everyone was looking. 

"Hey," Cindy murmured. She didn't try to touch Alec again. "It's all good."

Alec wanted to laugh because, seriously? All good? No. It wasn't all good. This was bad, so god damn screwed up bad; he could taste the gag against his tongue as they pry his eyelids open, the projection screen flashing into his retinas like a branding iron—

It wasn't clear if Alec said anything to Cindy. It wasn't clear if Cindy said anything back. He backtracked out one of exits, ducked into the alley. He had memorized possible escape routes by heart. His feet were automatic; his vision blurred as he avoided prying eyes. He drew up his collar as high as he could, hunch down and fled.

 

His exit plans never included Logan's window.

Yet here he was, dangling stories above Seattle, staring into the brightly lit penthouse. 

Alec's breath was harsh in his ears as he hovered next to the window that's been shut for the past week. The red light felt like an eye skewering him where he hung.

The glass rattled as he disarmed the alarm. His knees shook as he hooked over the sill to climb (fall) inside. 

Alec was already talking before Logan rolled out of his office.

"I know, I know, you wanted time to brood, I mean your shut window said enough, I checked every night all week, not that I'm a creeper, but I was just—"

Logan frowned. "What's wrong?"

Alec's hands flew as he gestured towards his neck. The bar code, that fucking bar code, felt like it glowed on his skin.

"I don't know when, I wasn't even—I was distracted—how did I not—but they saw it and I don't know how long I was walking around flashing—"

Logan looked alarmed as he edged closer. "Alec—"

Alec stumbled towards the bedroom. "We gotta blaze. We need to grab your things. My pack can take some stuff. Border patrols might be tighter now, but I could distract the sector cops and you drive through the gates. I got enough cash to get us to Can—"

" _Alec_."

Alec's throat shrank around his breath. He felt dizzy but he forced his feet to keep moving. But when he tried to go into the bedroom, Logan's wheelchair blocked his way.

Logan's hand cupped the back of Alec's thigh.

"What is it?"

"My bar code!" Alec burst out. "I—the bandage must have fell off—I usually check. I _always_ check, why the hell didn't I—I don't know how long—"

"The day you came back with the photos."

Alec stopped. "What?"

Logan's chair nudged Alec; its rubber tread prodded him away from the bedroom. 

Numbly, Alec let Logan steer him. His butt hit the back of the couch and he dropped on his ass to the carpet.

"What?" Alec repeated.

Logan's brow lined as he studied Alec. "I found the bandage after you left, but when you came back, you never mentioned it. I thought..."

"Over a week," Alec said, dazed. "I was walking around with this thing for—why didn't you say anything?"

Logan gazed down at Alec. "I thought you decided you were okay with it."

" _Okay with it_?" Alec waved towards himself. "Walking around with this damn 'Return to Sender' on my neck?"

"The bar code is low enough to hide inside your collar." Logan's mouth pursed. "It's always been low enough to hide behind your collar. If anything, the bandage and the scabbing were more conspicuous."

"So?" It seemed to take extra effort to shout from where he was sitting. Alec's lungs strained for air. "So it looked gross and stuff, but at least it didn't brand me one of their killers!"

Logan's eyes sharpened. "You're not a killer."

Alec scoffed bitterly. "Hate to disillusion you, but I got my first kill in before my voice even changed."

Logan's expression twisted; his eyes blurred to a moss green as he looked at Alec. "You were following orders." He wheeled closer. His bare toes touched Alec's drew up knees.

"Oh," Alec laughed roughly. His throat burned. "I followed _a lot_ of orders alright. Hell, I was their damn poster child on how to be a good little..." Alec banged his head back to the couch. 

"A week?" Alec breathed. "I've been..." He swallowed.

"Shit."

"You said 'they'."

"What?"

Logan's footrests rubbed up against Alec's shins. "You said 'they' saw. Who?"

Alec's Adam's apple bobbed. "Couple of guys at _Jam Pony_. They uh...one of them..." He laughed. It sounded choked in his ears.

"One of them thought it was cool and did that...t-thing to her neck like a tattoo; like it was something you _asked_ for like some fu—I thought it was another...thought they were here to extract me."

Logan crowded Alec against the couch. Normally, Alec would shove him back; the last thing he needed was an asshole trapping him anywhere. But this wasn't an asshole. 

The footrests parted with a quick flip of a lever. Unprompted, Logan wheeled closer until Alec was between his spread knees. 

With a groan, Alec dropped his face onto Logan's thigh. Almost immediately, Logan's warm hands slipped over his shoulders. One hand curled around the back of Alec's neck, covering the bar code.

Alec exhaled with a _whoosh_ and the tension, that taut vibration shoved up his spine, released. He reached up, his hands gripping the sides of Logan's shirt, pulling the other closer until Logan bodily cocooned him.

"I can't believe I didn't..." Alec felt bile souring the back of his throat. "All this time, those bastards could have snatched me up and anyone around me would have been..." 

"You're pretty vigilant when it came to Manticore." Logan rubbed deep circles into the base of Alec's skull. His other hand cupped the back of his skull and gently squeezed. "And you're not the only one watching for them."

The headache Alec didn't realize he had melted away. It left him feeling like his head could float away at any minute. He breathed in and out slowly. Logan's fingers rotated into his nape and scalp.

"I can't go back."

Alec's tongue burned; the taste of the words was foul in his mouth.

Logan's hand continued the massage. "You won't."

Alec burrowed his nose into the inseam of Logan's jeans.

"They'll put me in Psy-Ops. I can't go back in there." Alec felt a hitch in his chest. "They'll reprogram me. They'll make me forget Rachel. They'll make me forget everyone I met out here, even stupid Normal." His fingers dug hard into Logan's sides. If it hurt, Logan never reacted.

"They'll make me forget you."

Logan's hand tensed over Alec's skull. "They can't have you."

"They made me."

"Doesn't mean they own you." Logan lowered his head. He pressed his lips into Alec's hair.

Alec squeezed his eyes tight. "If word gets around—"

"Original Cindy alerted me a couple of days ago. She's been telling people you were trying to make a statement." Logan ruffled Alec's hair. "If you heard people thinking of getting one too, you may have started a new fashion trend instead."

Alec wearily snorted. 

"Matt Sung's also been keeping an ear out for any new bulletins as well. Nothing in your description." Logan's thumb pressed down on healed dark lines. Alec shivered.

"They can't have you," Logan repeated, his voice firmer.

Alec buried his face into Logan's lap and wished he felt as sure as Logan sounded.

 

"You missed curfew."

Alec could feel Logan's gaze on him when he finally straightened up. His knees, though, felt too rubbery; he stayed on the floor. His head felt three times its size.

There was a knot coiled hard and heavy in the bottom of Alec's gut. He rubbed his hands on his thighs. He stared at Logan's ankles by him. Bluish veins and fragile bone. 

"Better?" Logan murmured. He stayed back, respecting the distance Alec created.

Alec choked out a laugh. "I felt like I went to Lee's two days in a row." He ran a hand through his hair. He felt grimy; he'd somehow sweated through his clothes. Gross.

"I uh..." Alec felt the words burning at the base of his throat. "Is...is the guest room free? I'm feeling pretty gross and wiped. I wanna borrow your shower."

A flicker of understanding crossed Logan's face; he smiled faintly. "Always. The shirt you left here last time is in there too, in fact. There's a couple of spare things I left in there for whenever, well, for whenever you come by."

Alec flashed him a weak grin. "Cool." He shakily got up to his feet. Logan's wheelchair rolled close enough so Alec could clutch the back before he dropped back down on his ass. He turned and caught Logan looking towards the computer area.

The reminder erased the grin Alec tried hard to maintain. He followed Logan into the area, gulping.

"I could fix that for you."Alec waved at the empty space. 

Logan gave that direction a passing glance. He shrugged.

"Leave it. I was told the glass wasn't doing anything for the decor." 

Alec caught himself staring at his boots. "Oh. Okay." 

Logan frowned at his screen. Alec wanted to suggest porn if whatever the other saw on the screen was making him that grumpy. But it felt like it would scrape the dregs of his insides to get him to say it; it didn't sound funny in his head. It should. It should be freaking hilarious. At least, Alec felt like it could be. There's a bubble of laughter that wanted to burst free, but if it did, Alec worried he won't stop. 

Swallowing, Alec stared at the curve of Logan's ear. "Ah, are you working tonight?" he asked tentatively.

"Just for a bit," Logan muttered.

"It's past curfew," Alec reminded him. 

"Bad guys don't keep nine to five."

Alec scoffed half-heartedly. "Who does anymore?" He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Are you doing a hack tonight?"

Logan scowled at his screen. Maybe he should switch to porn.

"If the information pans out." Logan hesitated, his hands hovering over the keyboard. Uncertainty flickered over his features. "I could be a while."

Alec bit his lower lip. "Want me to go?"

"Curfew, remember?" Logan glanced over out of the corner of his eye. His hand twitched, aborting the move to reach over.

"Stay."

Smiling tentatively, Alec arched his eyebrows.

"Then can I watch?"

Logan blinked, taken aback. His ears pinked. "What? Uh, no." He cleared his throat and turned back to the screen.

"I'll keep very, very quiet." Alec rested his hip on the workstation.

"No, it's, you go ahead and take your shower, it'll be a while before I do my hack."

Alec made a face. "Okay, what was that all about?"

Logan fidgeted. "I, I'm not good with public speaking," he admitted.

"Seriously?" Alec smiled at the reddening ears. " _Eyes Only_ is shy? You deliver hacks every night to millions of people."

"That's different," Logan muttered. "It's just me and the camera. Not in front of an audience."

"Picture me naked," Alec suggested. "I hear that always work. Or if you can't imagine it, I'm more than happy to—"

A pen hit Alec squarely on the nose.

Alec tiredly smirked. "Your loss." 

Logan scoffed. "I'll survive."

Alec nodded absently. He stared down at his boots. Suddenly, he didn't know what to say.

"There's some fried rice in the fridge if you're hungry. It's from yesterday. It should still be good." Logan picked up his mug. He made a face into it. "And lots of cold coffee on the stove."

"Nah, I'm good." Alec raised a hand to his neck. He stopped midway and lowered his hand.

"No one made the connection, Alec," Logan said toward his computer. Emails and photos leapt in front of one another vying for Logan's attention. "You don't need to hide it." He turned around, ignoring his computer. "Not from me."

"Habit," Alec mumbled. "Just...it feels weird not covering it up, you know?"

"I know." Logan faced his desk again.

Alec scratched his jaw. In front of him, Logan's hands flew with a pianist's grace across the keys. Alec glanced over at the noise generators. "Want me to turn those on?"

"No, it's fine."

Alec blinked. "Really?"

Logan continued typing. He never looked up. "No point without..." Logan waved absently at the missing partition.

"Yah..." Alec rubbed the back of his neck. He fought not to shudder at the feel of uncovered, healed skin. "I'm just gonna use up all your hot water then."

The keys chittering paused. Logan glanced over his shoulder at Alec, his mouth a soft curve.

"Night, Alec."

Alec shook himself out of his reverie. He smiled back at Logan. "Um, yeah. Night."

 

_"Do not attempt to adjust your set..."_

Logan sounded different, No, _Eyes Only_ sounded different.

Alec lay on the guest bed. It took a few good scrubbings before he finally felt hum—well, less gross. Almond sweet soap and cotton swirled around him. 

His jeans were stiff with dirt and sweat. Currently, they're flopping around in the washing machine in the guest bath. Alec counted how many times the metal top button struck the interior. One. Two. Fifteen...

Alec stared blankly at the ceiling even as his body grew leaden. Yet his eyes felt no urge to close. They zipped left and right at every creak, groan and rattle. He kept his boots close. He kept the dagger under his pillow. He kept still—well, he _tried._ His fingers drummed a nervous beat on his right hip. 

Breathing as evenly as possible didn't help. The more Alec thought about how smooth the pillowcase felt against his neck, the quicker his breathing went.

Alec bit his lower lip. 

How the hell didn't he notice before? Right now, Alec could feel every stitch of his collar, every thread of the pillowcase, against his bar code. He could feel a tiny drop in temperate on his nape, no longer smothered under a layer of scab and gauze.

Alec scrubbed his face with his hands. Nobody said anything. Nobody pointed it out. 

Unless nobody was everybody and word had trickled down and they're just biding their time, waiting for a window of opportunity, a dark car trailing behind him, following him to _Jam Pony_ , to Cindy, to Sweeper, to—oh God— _Logan_.

Alec's fingers danced on his hip again, tapping, tapping as if burrowing to bone. He should leave, he should get away—

_"This is a Streaming Freedom Video bulletin..."_

Fingers stilled.

Without the noise generators, Logan's voice rang clear within the penthouse. It serenaded Alec with its smooth, deep, bass. Without the distortion, without the mechanical muffling, it sounded both like _Eyes Only_ and Logan. Each word was throaty, a rumble that came deep within Logan's core.

Alec gulped. Crap, Logan sounded pornographic. Dulcet tones trickled over his skin like possessive fingers. Molten heat started to pool in his groin. He shivered yet his skin flushed warm. 

_"...hack will last exactly sixty seconds..."_

This close, this clear, it felt like Logan's words ghosted over his body. Alec felt overheated, his skin snapped on too tight. He tugged at the bed sheets underneath him. He spread his legs a little.

_"...It cannot be traced, it cannot be stopped..."_

It was like Logan was above him, talking to him in that rolling tenor. Alec's hand wandered down to his flies. His thumb idly stroked the slip of his boxers. The pressure teased the line of his cock underneath. 

_"...the only free voice left in the city."_

Alec's breath caught as his hand fumbled for his cock. It was already hard, too hard, throbbing by the time he shakily pulled himself out of his boxers.

_"...found collaborating with the police..."_

The words held no appeal, at least not by their definition, but the throaty syllables rippled over him like a lover's touch. Alec's hips jerked as he wrapped a hand around his leaking cock.

Logan kept talking, even, unrushed, but careful not to waste his minute. He'll be finished soon.

Panting, Alec pulled at his erection. His balls drew tight against him in response. 

Despite Alec's relentless grip, it wasn't enough. Logan's hand always curled around Alec like they were handling something valuable and fragile. He has a curator's touch; his fingers careful yet focused on tracing every line, every flaw; not judging, only appraising. 

Logan's hands were rough at the fingertips, calluses from work, transparent scars that depicted a rejected privileged life. His hands spoke of damage from gripping the wheelchair too tight, typing into the computer too hard, working a little too long. 

But there were patches of soft skin as well; on Logan's palms, the skin below the pad of his thumb, the thin skin surrounding his nails. And every time, they had wrapped around Alec in a swirl of contradictory sensations.

Alec moaned under his breath as he feverishly tugged at his cock; he wished it was a different hand on him. He wished it was a hand textured with life touching him, talking to him in that soft raspy voice, eyes mossy green with intent and purpose.

Logan concluded his hack. It wasn't clear what he had said; it didn't matter. The syllables combined to a suite of sounds in Alec's head, like piano keys pressed in a flurry, Liszt's _Hungarian Rhapsody_ tumbling after each other. 

Alec groaned out Logan's name over and over as his hips snapped up into his hand. 

His hand clenched to a tighter curl. White exploded behind his eyes. Alec flexed his spine as he jerked himself into completion.

He came hard. So hard, he didn't hear the tread of an approaching wheelchair.

Alec flinched when the floor creaked outside the guest room. His head snapped up, but there was no knock at the door. He looked down at himself, boxers shoved low to his hips, the bottom half of his shirt bunched up to his armpits, his hand coated with come.

The door stayed shut. It stayed quiet. But Alec knew he heard it. And he knew Logan heard him.

 

_The ticking was loud in his ear._

_He sat there, watching the clock face eating away time, tick, tick, tick..._

_The room was dark, so dark he couldn't tell if the shapes in the room were shapes or artifacts floating in his eyes; ghosts or Manticore. Ghosts or demons. Either answer was bad._

_The stopwatch kept ticking away. He wondered what everybody was waiting for when he felt it: the femur, the longest bone in his body, calcifying, knitting, mending with a boiling heat._

_He was grateful for the gag; making a sound meant disapproval._

_Behind him, he could hear the crunch as mending bones realigned, reshaping a patchwork body._

_The healing took...it took long and when it was done, he was trembling and desperate for water. X-467 and X-483 were still mending. They were Phase three. He was only Phase two._

_Despite his failings, he was glad when his femur healed, shrinking back into his leg, muscle writhing back to shape. The boiling heat of the bone gave way to the heat of a fever, which quickly faded to a chill._

_The stopwatch paused._

_He shivered._

_"Not bad." Rare approval. "But he could do better. It has been a while."_

_Somehow, in the dark, the circular saw gleamed as it hovered over him._

_And somewhere behind him, the stopwatch started again. Tick, tick, tick..._

_"Welcome back, 494."_

 

"Alec?"

Alec almost retreated at the hesitant reply to his knock on the door. But he took a steadying breath and opened the door into Logan's bedroom before either of them changes their minds.

Logan looked cornered sitting up on his bed. He recovered quickly, his face sorting out into a concerned expression.

"What's wrong?" Logan's hand hovered over his laptop's keys.

Alec approached the bed like he would a landmine: slowly, carefully, measuring each step, counting the distance as he drew near, mind calculating what to do next that won't get everybody killed.

"Couldn't sleep," Alec mumbled. He scratched under his faded white t-shirt; Alec had left it behind once and took one of Logan's. Seeing it hanging cleaned in the middle of the guest room closet left him speechless. "Figured you were still up so I thought I'd come by and harass you."

Logan wordlessly shuffled over to the left. 

Alec blinked at the rumpled spot. 

"I'm not letting you sleep on my lap," Logan said wryly. "I'm working a bit more, but you're more than welcome to—"

Logan finished with a yelp, interrupted by an X-5 belly flopping onto the bed.

Alec rolled onto his back and stretched. He smiled unabashed at Logan, who glowered down at him over his eyeglasses.

"...to sit down and keep me company," Logan finished dryly. The corner of his mouth quirked up though.

"It's a bed." Alec wiggled deeper into the mattress. He kicked off his boots and crossed his ankles. "Beds aren't made for sitting." 

Logan cleared his throat and retrieved his laptop. 

Alec lay there listening with half mast eyes. Logan's typing, while annoying, was a familiar sound at least. He took a deep breath and exhaled. He tried to imagine the thrumming under his skin leaving with it.

"What are you working on?" Alec yawned. 

The typing paused. 

Alec scowled. "I know. I know. Need to know." He folded his arms behind his head. "I'm just making conversation." He smirked half-heartedly. "You know. Pillow talk."

Logan's pillow replied back with a light thump to Alec's face.

"Fine. Maybe you'll bore me to sleep." Alec made a show of yawning, but his stomach was still roiling too much to shut his eyes. He rolled to his side. He pressed his forehead to Logan's hip. He knew Logan might not feel it, but he did hear the typing slow briefly before starting up again.

After a few minutes of the keys clicking and clacking, Alec huffed. They were starting to sound like rattling bones and he swore he heard a tiny _tick, tick, tick_ behind it. 

"Could you stop for a breather?" Alec grumbled. "It's creeping me out."

To Alec's surprise, Logan did stop. In fact, he took off his glasses and set the laptop aside.

Alec stared hard at the seam that ran down the side of Logan's sweat pants. He pressed fingers into the thick mattress pad.

"Bad dream?"

"Maybe," Alec mumbled, not looking up. He was starting to wish Logan started typing into the thing again.

A hand dropped onto his shoulder. Logan didn't say anything. Alec could sense him sitting back on his headboard.

"Did you want to sleep?" Alec didn't move. "Give you back your bed."

"Thought you're here to harass me."

"You got too many clothes on for that."

Logan scoffed. 

"That never stopped you before."

"Yeah, well..." Alec shrugged.

Logan's hand rubbed Alec's shoulder.

"That bad, huh?" Logan guessed. 

"Can't stop thinking about..." Alec gestured vaguely towards his neck.

"It's fine." Logan continued moving his hand up and down Alec's shoulder, stroking it like a paint brush to canvas. Alec leaned his forehead harder against the hip. He felt a twinge when Logan never reacted. He craned his head back a fraction.

Alec could feel Logan's thumb tracing the wing of his shoulder blade. He stared at Logan's hip as he lay there on his side. Slowly, he pulled out his hand tucked under his cheek and reached over. He trailed a line across the exposed strip of skin Logan's top didn't cover. 

There was a stutter in Logan's touch. Alec slipped his hand into the sweatshirt. He felt around the lower knobs of Logan's spine. The skin was warm to his touch but thankfully, not overly warm from bruised muscles. He swept his hand back around and rested his palm possessively over the silken skin over the abdomen. 

"Thought you said I have too many clothes on for harassing," Logan murmured.

"Like you said: never stopped me before." Alec hummed as he stroked the satin taut skin that stretched over the jut of a pelvic bone peeking out of the waistband. He crooked a finger into the elastic of Logan's sweats. He pulled down the pants and briefs. He stared at the pale skin, the fold that marked where the hip and thigh meet. He could see the shadow of a soft cock quiet in a nest of hair.

"I know you were outside the room before," Alec said. He turned his hand and caressed the warm, dry skin there with his knuckles. He trailed from the base of the cock up to under Logan's ribcage. Logan's breath caught.

"I wanted to tell you I was done with the hack." 

Logan sounded breathless. He stopped stroking Alec's shoulder but left his hand there, an easy warm weight.

Alec palmed Logan's side again. He counted the shallow breaths under his touch.

"You sounded different from TV." 

Logan cleared his throat. "Voice modulator software. Even if I can't speak for some reason, it also has a cloning function so anyone could..." He shrugged. "But you knew that already when you reached out to Bronck."

Alec frowned. He rolled his head up. "You make it sound like anyone can jump in and be _Eyes Only_." 

Brow knitted, Logan answered slowly. "Anyone can. Contingency in case something happens to me. Someone could take over."

Alec's frown deepened. "You make yourself sound replaceable." 

Logan offered him a crooked small smile. "Contingency."

"Your contingency sucks," Alec said brusquely. He sat up next to Logan.

"I have to prepare for the worst." Logan absently rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. "Sooner or later, someone's bound to catch up to me." 

The resigned look on Logan's face drew Alec's hand to drop over his knee.

"I get it," Alec murmured. "Deep down, I always thought Manticore would catch up to me sooner or later." He gulped, but couldn't dislodge the lump in his throat. "I can't get rid of my damn bar code for too long and someone's going to cash in and rat me out."

Alec shrugged. "Hell, repeatedly ripping that mark off my neck might be wishful thinking; that if I wait them out, they'll stop looking."

Logan's eyes flicked over to Alec's hand on his knee. Dull green eyes slid away.

"I'd stopped wishing for anything a long time ago." 

Alec rubbed Logan's knee in small circles. 

Logan dropped a hand over Alec's, halting him.

"No point," Logan murmured. He gave Alec's captured hand a squeeze.

Alec opened his mouth.

"Who's Rachel?"

Alec stilled.

"How did you..."

Logan curled his grip tighter around Alec's hand. 

"When you came in here. You were panicking; you babbled about tattoos, going back and...Rachel."

Alec pouted at Logan. "I don't panic. And I don't babble." When Logan's look didn't waver, he sighed.

"There was this girl. Rach...Rachel. Her father was the target and I was to get close to my mark through her." 

Alec roughly scrubbed suddenly burning eyes. 

"I wished then, too, although if Manticore ever found out, that would have been a no-no."

Logan drew Alec's hand to his lap. He traced the bluish veins on Alec's hand.

"What did you wish for?"

Alec pulled up his knees. He stared past them to Logan's bedroom wall.

"I dunno...Wished I wasn't there to take them out; wished I was really there to teach her piano. Wished I could..." He lifted his shoulders.

"But then my mission was complete and she..." The echo of a ventilator burned Alec's ears. He gulped and forced the words through the broken glass in his throat.

"I was scheduled to come back in, get a clean slate—literally—and I wished then I could remember her. I didn't want their bullshit anymore. So I left. Said sayonara to their clubhouse and hit it out on my own."

Alec leaned against Logan's shoulder and soaked in the heat Logan radiated. 

"I wanted to remember her how _I_ wanted to remember her, not how they wanted me _not_ to remember her." Alec rested his chin on his knee.

Alec started when he felt a tentative touch on his hip.

"I'm sorry about Rachel."

 _Me too._ Alec closed his eyes as Logan's hand, his calloused yet gentle hand, brushed across the knuckles of his.

"They would erase everything," Alec rasped, "if I got back into their slimy paws. They have a multi-million restart button and they would wipe everything out." He looked over. "They would take everything away."

Logan's hand splayed over Alec's hip. "We wouldn't let that happen."

"We?"

"Matt Sung. Original Cindy. Sketchy. Herbal." Logan's voice wobbled at the end of the list. "M-me." He smiled tightly. "I'm sure even Normal would miss his favorite messenger."

"Ew," Alec joked weakly. "Normal coming to my rescue?" He bumped shoulders with Logan. "Nice to know you would run to my rescue."

Logan grimaced faintly. "I don't think I can _run_ to your rescue." A shadow crept over his eyes. He glanced down at his legs.

"Don't," Alec croaked when he felt Logan's hand edging back. He flipped his hand around and captured Logan's.

"Alec," Logan said, his face twisting.

"I was hoping you were done brooding." Alec rubbed Logan's hand between both of his. The fingers were icy cold all of the sudden. 

"I'm not brooding," Logan sighed. "I'm being realistic."

"Bullshit."

"Alec..." Logan looked pained. "What we have is great, but look at me. A simple fall out of my chair and I was down for the count. I—what can I offer you?"

"I heard you before," Alec said abruptly. His fingers tightened around Logan's. "And I know you heard me." He guided Logan's slack hand to rub the swell between his legs. Alec stifled a groan at the touch. He rolled his pelvis, grinding his groin against Logan's slack hand.

"This? That was from listening to you," Alec whispered. "You didn't even have to touch me."

Logan didn't look away as Alec slowly rocked up into Logan's slack hand. "You offer me a lot, a hell of a lot more than anyone I know. Everyone else takes, not you, not just sex."

Alec closed his eyes. "You know, I was listening to your hack. Your voice..." He held Logan's hand over his crotch. His mouth went dry as he remembered. He wondered if Logan could feel the fire rippling off his skin like a heat wave. 

Logan audibly swallowed. 

Something unknotted in Alec's gut. He cleared his throat, suddenly aware of how close they were, of Logan against his hip, of how green and smoky Logan's eyes were.

Alec straddled Logan's legs. Slowly, he slipped his hands up to Logan's upper arms. He could feel biceps flexing. Logan didn't push him off.

Heart hammering, mouth dry, Alec stared hard into Logan's wide eyes. 

A hair breadth away from Logan's mouth, Alec paused. He wet his mouth. His gaze drifted up to Logan's face.

Hesitantly, Logan leaned in the rest of the way.

The initial jolt melted away to a ripple that ran down Alec's body. He murmured his surprise but recovered quickly enough to move his hands up to Logan's shoulders. Dry lips hesitantly nipped at his lower lip. He groaned, angled his head and parted his mouth.

Logan slid in after a pause, groaning almost with relief. Their tongues battled briefly for dominance. Alec won, or Logan conceded, it didn't matter. Alec dove into his mouth, swiping a taste of the exhale that stuttered out.

Hands crept up to Alec's arms, loose, barely touching. They tightened when Alec pulled his mouth away and began licking and nibbling down the line of Logan's throat.

"There's so much I want to do for you," Alec mumbled as he laved the interesting dips and angles of Logan's clavicle. When he found the spot, the past hurt, he gave it extra attention, tasting the salty tang of Logan's skin. 

Logan convulsively swallowed as his head leaned back, baring his throat. His hands stroked down Alec's back, long capable fingers massaging Alec's spine, playing music on his skin.

There were too many clothes between them. There were too many places Alec wanted to touch but can't reach. He wiggled out of his shirt. He swept a hand under Logan, pulling his sweatpants and briefs until they were tangled around the ankles. He whined impatiently as he nosed the sagging neckline of Logan's sweatshirt, trying to reach more skin. 

Alec stopped attacking the gaping neckline. He proceeded to trail a hand down until he felt a pert nub under the worn fabric. He lowered his head, captured it and the cloth between his teeth.

"You could lie there and do nothing," Alec whispered as he rolled the caught nipple between his fingers. He ground the shirt against it. "And it'll be more than I ever want."

Logan's breath caught. His fingers dug into Alec's hip as Alec mouthed the area until it hardened and left raw and pebbled against the fabric. Then, Alec worked on the other, his palm rubbing circles on the damp sweatshirt over the nipple, brushing the material over it. 

In retaliation, Logan's fingers slipped into the back of Alec's boxers. Nimble fingers massaged the top of the cleft of his ass. The spot burned under Logan's touch as he pressed and released on the sensitive skin there.

"You're playing dirty," Alec groaned. He rolled his hips back, grinding into Logan's fingers. He went back to his attentions on Logan's other nipple, his teeth giving it a twist, his hand scrubbing the damp shirt over the other.

Logan's fingers twitched. He gasped. His head dropped onto Alec's shoulder. 

Alec growled, crowding Logan back, his hands greedy over the firm muscles and warm skin he could feel under him. It had been too long. Then, with renewed focus, Logan's fingers dove deeper, trailing Alec's crack and its thin skin. His hands eased Alec's boxers over his erection.

There was pause at the sight of Alec's flushed cock, erect and against his stomach, freed from the confines of his boxers.

"I missed this. A week was too long." Alec trailed tiny kisses down the side of Logan's face. He licked along a frown line he could feel forming between Logan's eyes. "We're good. You're good. This, you do this to me. You." He kissed the top of Logan's head when Logan buried his face into the crook of his shoulder, breathing hard.

"Alec..." Logan murmured against Alec's shoulder. "What do you...I...what do you want?"

Alec wanted to pull Logan down, cover his body with his. He wanted to undress Logan, with his mouth, trace the pulse coursing through Logan's body. He wanted...he wanted...

"I..." Alec ran his tongue across his lower lip. "I want to feel more of you." He made sure Logan saw his hand move, inching to his lower back. 

Logan's eyes widened. He paled. His breath quickened.

"I don't know if I..." Logan choked.

"Sh...Okay, not now. It's okay." Alec kissed Logan's mouth. He drew his hand out and took Logan's to his leaking cock. Logan closed his eyes, sagging into the bed as he took hold of Alec's erection.

With a soft whine, Alec rocked against Logan. His hands gripped the headboard behind Logan. Teeth tugging at an ear lobe, hands clawing the top edge of the headboard, Alec groaned Logan's name. 

"I don't want to forget this," Alec moaned. His hips surged forward, impatient as Logan took his time to tug his jeans lower, down to his thighs.

Heat surged throughout his body. Alec panted, his burning face pressed to the headboard as Logan began stroking him first with careful pulls. The strokes became firmer, tighter, harder when Alec started to whine.

"Don't let them take this away," Alec whimpered as he rocked. "You...you make sure you pull my plug before they...don't let them take you out of my head. Promise. Fucking promise."

"They can't have you," Logan rasped, his voice a broken whisper as Alec trapped him between his body and the headboard.

The headboard thumped against the wall as Alec fucked that breathless grip. Pre-come slicked Logan's hand but not quite enough; his hand was still a little dry, his pace uneven but Alec didn't _care_. He thrust into that dry grip, slicking it with the pre-come beading on his cock, spurn on by Logan's rapid breath against his throat.

Alec grit his teeth as he ground his hips, his cock, Logan's trapped fist against Logan's torso. The bed shook. His fingers dug into the wood but it wasn't enough to drown out the heady sensation of Logan's hand.

"Talk to me," Alec groaned into Logan's ear. His hips snapped frantically into Logan's grip. 

Breathless and tentative, Logan murmured into Alec's ear. Soft, hot breath skated across Alec's skin; soft exhales that told Alec how he looked on the bed, head thrown back as he used his fist to push Alec to completion.

It was faltering. There were times Logan paused to find the words. Plus, the flush in his ears was distracting. But the words were perfect; whatever they were. Alec rubbed his face against Logan's rough jaw, felt the words stutter out against him, felt the air forming the syllables vibrate underneath him.

Around him, touch and sound build up inside Alec. He picked up the pace, Logan tightened his grip.

With a growl, Alec surge forward with one hard thrust into Logan's fist. He cupped the back of Logan's head before it struck the wall.

Alec shouted wordlessly. Logan's hand flexed, glorious pressure squeezing bolts of pleasure and Alec's hands curled as he began a furious, hungry pace, pistoning into that perfect grip, invading Logan's space, crushing him to the headboard as he thrust into Logan's hand again. 

Groaning Logan's name, Alec came all over Logan's fist. Ropes of come spilled and splattered between them.

Logan trembled, caught in the whiplashing motions. He wrapped an arm around Alec's neck, his hand around Alec's cock. He gasped, winded, startled and maybe scared shitless as he held Alec tight like he was afraid Alec was shattering.

Maybe Alec was, his nerves were on fire, his blood boiling everywhere Logan touched. All he could think of, focus on, was Logan's hand, tight, slick with his come, and gripping him like he was holding him together.

With a choked whimper, Logan pressed his flushed face to Alec's throat. He shook, spine arching as his own orgasm rocked him. His hand flopped off Alec's still semi-erect cock.

As Logan shuddered, dazed and lethargic, Alec slipped his hands into Logan's top and slowly rolled it up.

Logan feebly helped him: raising rubbery arms, shifting weight. He tried to reach Alec's lips, but Alec interrupted each time he opened his mouth by nipping and licking here and there. The top was tossed...somewhere. Alec wasn't sure nor did he care as he gazed down Logan's chest. He swept his hands across, palms pressing deep so he could feel warm muscles, the crisp silk of chest hair, the satin feel of Logan's stomach bunching and clenching on contact.

Alec gripped Logan to him, maybe a little too hard as he ground his fading erection against Logan's chest. He rubbed his erection against coarse chest hair. His cock dripped over nipples straining pink and hard. He pulled Logan's body to him and felt the other trembling, spent after his orgasm. Alec came a second time with a groan. 

Uncertainty was creeping back into Logan. Alec could feel it in the tensing of sweat slicked muscles. He pressed a kiss to the side of Logan's mouth, down his throat, the spot on his clavicle that tasted sweeter than any other spot. 

"You don't know how good you look," Alec murmured, more to himself. He felt Logan fidget under him. Alec lowered his head, slid down Logan's body and pressed his mouth over Logan's belly button. 

There was a sharp intake of breath as Alec licked and tasted the streaks of white come that managed to get under the top and coat a faint white sheen over the stomach. His tongue darted out, lapped up the come, humming as he felt Logan shiver. Alec felt Logan's eyes on him; he wondered what Logan looked like. He didn't dare though. An unspoken agreement hung above them: no words, no eyes. Just touch, feel, only feel, and Alec could feel what Logan was afraid to say out loud. The _Why_ was sour on Logan's skin, thrumming under tensed limbs.

Trailing up between Logan's pecs, Alec's tongue swirled a glistening path to a nipple, lapping the come off the dusty rose nub until Logan was arching up to Alec's mouth. Then, to be a bastard, Alec tortured the other one, greedily tracing the outline with his tongue, laving it to the point Logan's hands flailed until they found Alec's head.

Fingers gingerly carded through Alec's hair rather than grab. Alec blinked, momentarily taken aback, unfamiliar with the cue. But when Logan's fingers cautiously massaged his scalp, Alec sank down across Logan's body and continued with tasting and savoring.

Eventually, Alec reached Logan's mouth. He dove in, nibbling on the kiss-swollen lower lip. He slipped his tongue in, giving Logan a taste of Alec's come, Logan's skin, their combined sweat. Alec's mouth sealed over Logan's, swallowed his moans, his thumbs rubbing and digging into muscles until Logan threw his head back with another startled cry.

It was easy to come to the image of that; Logan, flushed, disheveled and completely taken apart. Alec clamped his mouth over the joint of Logan's neck and came messily between them again.

Spent, Alec collapsed over Logan. He panted; he bobbed on top of Logan's heaving chest. He felt set adrift, unanchored, free. He slipped an arm under Logan, under his lower back. 

"Alec..."

"Shut up," Alec mumbled over a particularly tasty patch of skin under Logan's Adam's apple. "Tomorrow. You broke me."

There was a shaky, wet laugh. "I think you broke me first."

Alec hummed as he nosed the soft skin under Logan's ear. "You broke me better, Heather." He sighed though when the stickiness registered. "Hold that thought. Be right back." He kicked off his boxers from his ankles and hobbled bow-legged in the nude into Logan's bathroom.

A few rough pulls finished off Alec's cock. He didn't want to freak out Logan with its enthusiastic vote for yet another round. He glanced up and froze.

Being nude was nothing new. Hell, once, one guy paid five hundred just to stare at Alec in the buff for an hour. All right, it had been weird but saved Alec from wasting a perfectly good condom on him. 

But his neck...

Alec turned to his side and stared at his reflection of out of the corner of his eye. He could see the outer edges of his bar code. If he dropped his shoulder a bit more, he could see half of the dark and thick lines—

With a shudder, Alec turned back forward. The faucet squeaked loudly as he wet a hand towel. He cleaned himself up; he scrubbed at his bar code even if all it did was reddened the skin in the spaces in-between. The raw feeling made him feel better though. He took a deep breath before getting another damp towel.

Logan's eyes tracked him, well, his ass, as Alec padded back into bed. He said nothing as he accepted the hand towel and wiped himself down. He pulled his pants up, but gave up trying to figure out where Alec had tossed his top. He folded the hand towel into a damp triangle and put it on the nightstand. For some reason, Alec found it a little ridiculous; he grinned goofily at the towel. 

"I'm staying here," Alec announced before he unceremoniously dropped into the bed. The mattress bounced a little. He draped himself over Logan's body.

"Your guest room bed smells funny," Alec mumbled into Logan's stomach. 

"I wonder why," Logan muttered dryly. He tentatively reached down and stroked the back of Alec's head.

Alec shivered when a finger traced where he knew his barcode began. 

"Did that hurt?"

"No," Alec rolled into the space next to Logan. "Just weird."

Logan stared thoughtfully at the wall in front of the bed. Alec wordlessly flipped the covers with his foot over the bluish toes.

"We should call Original Cindy tomorrow."

Alec perked up. "Threesome?" He snickered at Logan's glower. It was more cute than intimidating when it was all sex-muddled and half-mast. And Logan's hair was a wild array of bangs. Alec wanted to run his hands through it, messing it up further.

"I have an idea."

" _Threesome_ ," Alec singsonged as he tugged Logan to lie on the bed.

Logan huffed, but slid down to lay flat. "Not that kind of an idea."

"You're no fun."

"That's too bad," Logan murmured. "Figured I couldn't keep your interest for too long."

Alec snorted. "Yeah, you're so boring, you're putting me to sleep." He reached over and ran his teeth over Logan's bare shoulder. 

Hazel softened to a smoky green as they skimmed Alec's face. Logan took a deep breath. 

"What time is your shift tomorrow?"

Alec yawned. "None. I'm not going back there." His stomach twisted though. 

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Alec gestured towards himself. "Dude."

"Alec." Logan slipped an arm under Alec's shoulders. His hand crept up to curl around the bar code. Alec squashed down the instinct to roll away from the touch.

"What time is your shift tomorrow?" Logan said firmly.

Alec blinked. "Uh, 1000 I think."

"Ask Cindy to come by at seven." Logan turned his head to stare sleepily at him. "I'll order us breakfast when we wake up. I only have peanut butter and fried rice."

Alec stared at Logan, speechless. 

Logan looked back, baffled. "What?"

"I want pancakes," Alec declared as he placed a kiss on Logan's shoulder. He gently coaxed Logan to roll onto his side, catching him and fidgeting closer so he could feel Logan breathe against his chest.

"There's a nice place down the block," Logan murmured. Hesitantly, he curled a hand over Alec's clasped ones over his stomach. "I think I can convince them to deliver."

"Must be nice being rich," Alec whispered into Logan's shoulder blade. He nosed the bony edge. "What are you getting?" He frowned when Logan paused. Alec squeezed Logan's middle. He could feel ribs bumping against his arm, too fragile skin stretching over too little.

Alec swallowed. He smashed his face to the back of Logan's neck.

"You could have a taste of my pancakes," Alec half pleaded, half whispered.

Logan sank back into Alec's arms. "Sure."

"And if we get whipped cream, we could smear it all over your—"

Logan was shaking with silent laughter. "Just pancakes would be fine." He paused. "I remember their waffles were good though."

Alec bit back a smile. "Get those too. And extra whipped cream in case you change—"

"Good night, Alec." Logan hastily shut the lamp, sending them into a comfortable darkness.

"Night," Alec murmured. He pressed his mouth onto the crook of Logan's shoulder, then his hair. Something warm unfurled in his chest when he heard Logan sigh. He rubbed his nose into Logan's hair, breathed deep and pulled Logan closer. He felt Logan relaxing further into him, flesh molding into his body.

"How's your back?" Alec slipped a hand into Logan's sweatpants and cupped a firm buttock, but when Logan didn't react, he smoothly traveled up to Logan's lower back instead. He nodded to himself; the skin felt warm from exertion, not from pain.

"I'm fine," Logan whispered.

Alec pulled Logan closer. "Liar."

"Fair enough, kettle."

Alec rolled his eyes. "We're both screwed up. Yippee." He sobered.

"Someone would have said something by now about your bar code." Logan rolled his shoulders back and their bodies slid further into place.

Alec's mouth flattened. "Or they're waiting for a bigger reward."

Logan skimmed Alec's clasped hands with his thumb. "No one's waiting."

"You sound sure." Alec's face contorted. 

" _Eyes Only_ is sure."

Alec laughed as best he could. "That's the same thing, you know." He abruptly sobered.

"You'll make sure, right? That they won't wipe me clean? I don't want to forget. About anyone." Alec pressed open mouthed kisses along Logan's nape. "Especially you."

"You're not going to forget anyone, Alec." Logan repeated it like a mantra.

Alec curled closer into Logan's body. 

"Sorry I interrupted your brooding," Alec mumbled.

Logan's hand gripped the back of Alec's neck.

"That's okay," Logan said casually. "I think I'm finished brooding."

Alec smiled faintly as he rubbed his nose against Logan's mouth.

"Cool."

"They're not getting you back, Alec."

Alec buried his face to Logan's shoulder blade."Sure."

Logan gripped Alec's fists with both hands. "They can't have you," he said fiercely.

A bubble burst inside Alec's chest. He inhaled deep. He could feel his heart settling, its trip hammer pace slowing.

"Okay." This time, it felt easier to say it.

Logan gripped Alec's fists tight and said nothing else.

Quiet breathing slipped back into its sync. Until...

"Seriously. Cindy, whipped cream, your ass. We could..."

Alec probably deserved the elbow into his ribs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(sigh)_ I over-estimated my ability to bake cookies, take care of my mother, do the holiday decorating, holiday shopping and be mother/wife/daughter at the same time. My deepest apologies: this fic fell wayside for it.
> 
> I won't be posting again until Jan 4th, Wednesday, I'm afraid because the holidays may still come around and attack. Eep!
> 
> Happy holidays to all!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sex (dubious consent), sex ( _lots_ of consent) and cursing
> 
> Spoilers: random mentions of canon origins
> 
> Much love and gratitude for your patience. Slightly longer part because this was two posts worth of fic.

Close to his ear, Logan groaned Alec's name.

Groggily, Alec tightened his arms around Logan. He dropped a kiss onto a sleep warm bare shoulder. He felt the other's shoulders settling back to his chest. Elbows poked him in his stomach and the swell of a buttock brushed against the growing erection in his boxers.

Alec rolled his hips forward and rubbed his cock against the loose fabric over Logan's ass.

Logan mumbled Alec's name again.

Squirming and twisting, Logan's sweatpants and Alec's boxers bunched with the friction. Alec gritted his teeth as the boxers' elastic ran across the base of his swollen cock. Heat exploded down the length everywhere Logan rubbed against him.

Eyes barely open, Alec sleepily rocked his groin into Logan's ass. His boxers slipped lower. The top of the dark hair that pointed to Alec's dick bristled against his skin as he ground his erection against worn cotton pants.

Alec murmured as he tugged Logan even closer. He fumbled out his cock. Under his breath, Logan mumbled Alec's name again. It sounded broken, a whisper that shivered down to Alec's toes.

Their bodies huddled under the covers, the bedroom dark around them, Alec let touch guide him. He hooked his chin over Logan's shoulder. Logan smelled of sleep and musk. Alec's leaking cock skimmed down Logan's bare back, leaving a trail of glistening pre-come down the sleek line, down to the soft indent of the crack of Logan's ass under his pants, before tucking under Logan's buttocks and between Logan's thighs. Soft cotton surrounded Alec's erection.

Logan continued to fidget, his pants twisting and rubbing around Alec's dick.

Alec swept his hands down Logan's sides, over hips before settling on Logan's flank. Alec groaned as the chafing around his cock grew. 

Cock weeping for release, trapped between Logan's thighs, Alec slowly began to thrust.

Logan breathed out Alec's name.

Alec whimpered. He thrust harder between Logan's legs. His hands bookended either side of Logan to keep the other's legs closed and tight around his cock. Logan's head swayed on the pillow as Alec's thrusting increased. The sweatpants bunched into an uncomfortable rope of fabric pressing into the crack of Logan's ass.

Logan's head tossed left and right on the pillow. His bangs plastered to the perspiration beading on his forehead. 

"Hold on," Alec groaned. He fumbled to get his hands around Logan's cock. His fingers, still clumsy with sleep, struggled to hook Logan's waistband lower. His hips kept snapping forward, franticly pistoning between Logan's thighs. Alec's cock felt swollen, too swollen, heavy and desperate for release.

Alec panted as he fought to slow down. The friction of cotton and Logan's thighs made his head spin. "I need to...hold on..."

Logan whimpered.

Ice crashed over Alec's body. 

Alec's eyes flew completely open. "Logan?"

Logan muttered Alec's name. He struggled briefly in Alec's loosening hold.

Alec jerked back, his cock deflating. 

No longer braced against Alec, Logan rolled. He woke immediately with a gasp and a flail of arms the moment he abruptly landed onto his back.

"Easy." Alec turned on the nearest lamp. He dropped a hand to Logan's heaving chest. As soon as he touched Logan though, touched his damp chest, Alec snatched his hand back. His palm burned with accusation. 

"Alec?" Logan slurred. He squinted at the ceiling.

Alec gulped. "You were having one hell of a dream."

Logan's cloudy green eyes cleared as they zeroed in on Alec. He sagged into the bed. He scrubbed his hands over his face, exhaling harshly behind them before they dropped to his sides. When he felt his own bare flank against his fingers, Logan raised his head off the pillow and glanced down.

"I..." Alec sat up on the edge of the bed. He couldn't look at Logan, at the sweatpants stained and bunched low enough to expose Logan's crotch, semi-erect because Alec pounded the poor guy into the mattress with his dick. He breathed out shakily. 

"I thought you were...I mean...I'm sorry." Alec's chin lowered to his chest.

Logan audibly swallowed. He tugged up his pants. 

Alec could feel his face flaring super hot when Logan gingerly felt the wet spots that darkened the inseam. His legs tensed, bracing to run.

"I take it that wasn't me then," Logan said; his voice revealed nothing.

Alec glanced down; his cock was exposed and still half hard. It jutted out of his crotch and damn it, he was flashing the guy after pretty much assaulting him in his sleep.

Flushing, Alec mumbled an apology as he tucked himself back in. He winced because at even semi-erect, his dick felt too raw and sensitive inside his boxers.

"I, uh..." Alec stood up, hunched over to alleviate the wire tight tension burning between his legs. He gestured feebly towards the en-suite bathroom. "I'll go take care of it in there."

"It's all right. Stay." Logan fidgeted closer to the edge of the bed. He reached over. His fingers trailed along the hem of Alec's boxers, heat skimming around Alec's skin.

Alec bit his lower lip.

Logan locked gazes with Alec as his fingers curled around a handful of his boxers and pulled.

Cotton pooled around Alec's ankles.

Alec numbly looked down at himself. With a heavy head, he looked back to Logan. Almost forest green eyes met him, unblinking and stark on his pale face.

"It's fine. Come here," Logan murmured.

Alec dropped his eyes. Mute, he shook his head. He couldn't bring himself to look at Logan again. Not when Logan wasn't pissed at him, for whatever reason. The softer Logan's voice went, the more Alec's stomach knotted into barb wire.

"I'll just..." Alec jerked his head towards the bathroom. 

Logan's hand shook as it reached over and cupped the back of Alec's knee. He tugged, prodding Alec to step out of his boxers and back towards the bed. Alec let him.

The bed creaked when Alec's knees landed on the mattress. It gave under his weight as he straddled Logan's middle. He stood on his knees, over Logan, his cock standing almost flushed against his stomach.

Logan stared at Alec. He palmed the side of Alec's left knee, idly rubbing his thumb on the skin under Alec's knee cap. He seemed to have come to a decision. He dropped his hand as he pulled himself to sit up with his elbows.

"Come here," Logan repeated, his voice hoarse. His throat worked as he watched Alec knee walked closer. His eyes drifted to Alec's cock. He ran his tongue over his lower lip.

Alec almost came right there.

"You," Alec managed through a suddenly dry mouth. 

"Must have been one hell of a dream."Alec choked out a laugh that was a little too high pitched. 

"It was." Logan smoothed his hand over Alec's flank. He stared, reading whatever it was he saw on Alec's skin. "You. I..."

Alec slipped fingers into Logan's messy hair. It was flat on the side he slept on. He carefully combed through the thick brown strands, shaping the hair to something less frantic.

"Then I should be the one to do this for you," Alec murmured as he ran fingers down the errant locks. It was fascinating how the brown changed to gold and black with a twist.

Logan squeezed his eyes shut. "No point. I probably wouldn't be able to feel it." He opened his eyes. His face tilted up. "No. I need to..." His hand on Alec faltered. "Need to know you're all right." 

Alec's brow knitted. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Logan exhaled sharply. His hand stilled on Alec's thigh, fingers spread to cover as much as his hand could. His breathing hitched. "I can still see you..." 

"See me what?" Alec dropped a hand over Logan's on his leg. "Hey, whatever it was. No big deal, all right? I'm fine. Hell, shouldn't _I_ be doing something for _you_? I practically—"

Logan shook his head.

Alec could see Logan's jaw flexing, testing itself and oh God, the idea of Logan's mouth made the heaviness between his legs painful enough to draw tears.

"You don't have to," Alec said weakly. "You shouldn't want to. Not after I—"

Logan smiled faintly as he reached over. He swirled his thumb on the bead of pre-come on the tip of Alec's cock. His thumb smeared it, slicking the head, trailing moisture down the length. Logan's hand drifted to the vein pulsing under Alec's cock, throbbing with Alec's racing heartbeat.

"You...you don't have to," Alec repeated. He tried to steady his voice, but it felt raw from simple _want_ , robbed of its strength with each delicate tracing of Logan's thumb.

"I don't have to," Logan murmured in agreement, but didn't let go. In fact, he curled his hand around the base of Alec's cock, his other hand splayed in the back of Alec's thigh. With gentle tugs, Logan coaxed Alec nearer. 

Logan closed his eyes as he leaned forward. He kissed the length of Alec's erection.

Alec whimpered. 

"I was thinking about those pancakes you told me about last night," Alec babbled. "I'm a suck—I mean, I have a weakness for— _Logan_..."

Logan gingerly nosed the hairs on Alec's crotch. He breathed deep before dropping a kiss on the skin above it.

"B-but if you feel like something else..." Alec swallowed a moan. His buttocks clenched as he fought not to thrust. "Who am I to ar—"

A hot exhale over the tip of Alec's cock was his only warning.

Heat engulfed Alec's erection. Logan's mouth was dry but Alec could feel saliva gathering in Logan's mouth. Moist heat coated the head of his cock as Logan tentatively suckled the tip.

Alec moaned. He pressed fists on the wall above Logan's head. He locked elbows so he wouldn't shove forward and glide into a hot mouth currently only able to take so much.

Dry lips stretched as Logan tried to relax his jaw further. Alec was sure he was going to come right there at the sight of Logan struggling to get all of Alec in, his cheeks hollowed out as he sucked.

Alec whimpered. He could feel his cock filling further in Logan's mouth. He could feel a line of drool escaping the corner of Logan's lips, trailing down Alec's inner thigh. Alec could feel Logan's jaw working. He slid in deeper.

Logan couldn't deep throat him, not yet, not when Alec knew this might be the other's first time doing this to another man. But Logan kept at it, lips pursed around Alec's cock as he tried to relax his throat more. 

Alec rested his forehead on the wall. He squeezed his eyes shut. He gasped. It felt like Logan was doing his best to pull everything out of Alec's body through his dick. The inexperienced mouth stuttered around Alec's cock as he slipped even deeper into Logan's throat, gliding across the rough velvet of Logan's tongue. There was a bit of teeth that scraped a little too hard. It hurt a little. It stung a little. 

It was fucking glorious. 

The edge of teeth ran against the pulsing vein and Alec couldn't stop himself: he gave a little thrust. Then another. He sank deeper. Drool ran down the sides of Logan's mouth, Alec's cock, Alec's thigh. Alec thrust again. And again. And again.

Logan gagged. But he only curled his hands under the folds where Alec's ass joined his thighs. His mouth still struggled to work around Alec's cock. The almost massaging sensations collected as fire and rushed to pool in Alec's dick.

"Wait," Alec gasped. He felt Logan starting to choke around his cock. "Wait. I...you..."

Logan's jaw briefly set then slackened more. His hands pulled Alec closer.

"Oh God." Alec's head reeled; he felt himself sliding all the way in. It felt like he was falling down a deep hole. It felt like he was still falling. Logan's throat clutched around his cock. Alec's skin shrank around his bones. He gasped. He shook. He thrust: frantic shallow movements as Logan wrapped his lips around a quivering length.

"Your mouth," Alec moaned as he moved carefully. His fists shook on the wall he propped himself against. His forehead throbbed where he rolled it on the wall. His hips began abortive jerks forward. No, he needed to slow down, careful, not too deep—shit, his mouth, oh God, his _mouth_. He could feel the edge of teeth running down his dick as he drowned in the most intense heat he's ever known, his cock jerking, twitching...

Alec cried out a warning. He only managed to pull back halfway before he came violently. He could feel Logan jerk when come flooded his mouth, spilling onto his chin, his cheeks as Alec tried to ease out. Alec felt thick ropes of his come splattering Logan's shoulder and face before he could pull free completely.

"Shit." Alec caught Logan by the shoulders. Logan dropped his head to Alec's hip with a wet cough. "Shit. I tried to—Are you all right?"

Logan coughed. He nodded shakily. With another cough, he briefly rested his head on Alec's hip as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Done, his face tilted up to Alec.

Alec stared at Logan, his mouth partially open. Logan gazed back. Half of his face was streaked with come. His lips were swollen, glistening with white. His cheeks were flushed from coughing. 

With a growl, Alec smashed his lips to Logan. He tasted the bitter come lingering in Logan's mouth. He breached that mouth with a demanding tongue. His arms wrapped around Logan's shoulders as he curled around Logan.

Logan groaned into Alec's mouth. Alec didn't release him. He kissed, he tasted, he crushed Logan to his body. It wasn't close enough.

Together, Alec and Logan eased down to the mattress. Alec didn't pull away from Logan's mouth though. He splayed his hands on either side of Logan's head as he slotted his body over Logan's. His cock leaped on contact, his erection renewed and grinding against Logan's hip.

Sweatpants and boxers were yanked down. Bare skin glided against each other. Hands grappled. Mouths crashed.

Alec groaned as he fervently rocked his cock into Logan's hip. Logan curled an arm around Alec's middle. As their bodies drew tight against each other, Alec slipped his erection in the spot Logan's arm made pressed against his own body.

Without being prompted, Logan pulled his arm flush to his side, squeezing around Alec's cock. Alec thrust eagerly into the gap Logan created. His hips snapped forward, his cock weeping as it was jerked between Logan's hip and flexed arm. 

Alec ran his tongue down the line of Logan's throat. He tasted come. He tasted the bitter, musky come he'd painted Logan with. His hips surged forward, colliding into Logan's body as his cock pounded into the space between hip and arm.

Logan uttered a sound: broken, needy and shocked as if he couldn't believe anyone could ever want or hunger him. As if the sleek, taut feel of his skin around Alec's cock wasn't boiling Alec alive. As if the bunched cords along his throat didn't beckon Alec to rake the edge of his teeth down its line. As if hearing him moaning Alec's name wasn't enough to—

Snarling, Alec yanked Logan to him, trapping the other between him and the mattress. Alec's hips repeatedly slapped up against Logan in a bruising pace. Alec ran his hands down Logan's back, fingers digging into the muscles he could feel bunching and straining. There was so much to touch, so much to taste. Alec buried his face into Logan's throat as he felt a swell of fire swirling and collecting at the pit of his stomach, flaring out to the tip of his cock.

Alec came again, between Logan's hip and arm; he came all over the mattress. He felt his come dribbling down Logan's back: staining him, _marking_ him. He bit into the crook of Logan's shoulder as his fingers greedily smeared his come all over Logan's body. He curled a stained hand around the soft cock between them and roughly jerked Logan off, picking up the pace at Logan's cries.

Logan threw back his head when he came; his body is vibrating as Alec suckled on the growing bruise on his shoulder.

Shuddering, eyes half mast, Logan let Alec roll him on his side. He lay in Alec's arms, blinking sleepily at him.

Alec didn't know what to say. He ran his tongue over his teeth; he remembered the taste of his own come in Logan's mouth. Alec ran an idle hand down a trembling back. He could feel his own come on Logan's skin. And suddenly, it wasn't enough.

Lazy fingers turned purposeful as they trailed down the strong line of Logan's back. They lingered on the top of the cleft of Logan's ass. 

Logan's eyes were more alert now, dark green with anxiety. 

"Could I?" Alec murmured as he stroked the hole carefully. There was no reaction to his touch. Logan's hands curled into Alec's biceps. 

"I don't know if I can..." Logan's eyes drifted over Alec's face. He locked gazes with Alec. His throat worked. He exhaled shakily.

"There's...there's lotion in the drawer." Logan smiled. Tried. His eyes tracked Alec reaching behind him to pull out the bottle on the end table. He said nothing as he watched Alec liberally coat his fingers.

The thick lotion smelled like Logan's soap. The almond scent seemed to swirl and settle deep inside Alec. Like Logan, Alec tried to smile, failed, but the attempt calmed Logan anyway. At least, Logan was trying real hard to look like it did.

Alec brushed his mouth over Logan's. Logan's lips felt cold; his skin felt chilled.

"No matter what," Alec murmured as he hugged Logan tight to him. He felt Logan rest his forehead in the crook of his shoulder. 

Logan's throat worked, but he didn't stop Alec as slicked fingers slipped between his ass cheeks. There was no response as Alec caressed the thin skin there.

Alec carefully stroked the skin under Logan's balls and drew an invisible line back up to the puckered entrance.

Logan said nothing. Most likely, he couldn't feel where Alec had touched him, but before Alec withdraw his hand, Logan fidgeted closer. 

"Relax," Alec whispered as the shaking against him took on a different meaning. 

Logan exhaled shakily and pressed his face to Alec's shoulder. 

Alec draped a leg over Logan's bent ones. He wound his arm under Logan until his hand splayed across the other's stiff shoulders.

"I'll stop if you want me to," Alec offered awkwardly because no one ever offered to him. 

Logan slumped into Alec. He didn't tell Alec to stop.

Alec took a deep breath. Logan did the same. And for a moment, the air stilled above them.

Muscles resisted when Alec probed the opening. He dropped his chin onto Logan's shoulder. He watched his own finger push into the hole. 

Alec swallowed. Logan was tight; he couldn't push his finger past the first knuckle. He pressed deeper.

Against Alec, Logan murmured.

"Hurt?" Alec croaked. His hand shook as he carefully withdrew. He glanced down at his fingers and relaxed.

"No, I...I thought I..." Logan's head rolled slightly. Alec could feel Logan's eyes on his chin. "Never mind. Nothing. I thought..." He made another sound when Alec pressed in again.

"You're tight." Alec's eyes burned. He should roll away. He could feel himself shaking. "Jesus, you're so tight." 

Logan exhaled as his fingers clasped behind Alec's back. He said nothing. He only brushed his mouth on Alec's throat.

"You sure?" Alec closed his eyes when Logan only kissed the line of his jaw. 

Heat teased Alec's finger as he prodded. Resistance again. He pressed on, pushing his finger deeper.

Muscles finally relaxed, relenting around Alec's finger and welcoming him into the dark heat.

Alec felt Logan exhaled again as if Alec was pushing his air out as Alec's finger sank down to the second knuckle.

"You okay?" Alec felt too large, too dry, too rough, too—he curled his arm, drawing Logan's slightly hunched body into him. "I'm not hurting you, right? Don't give me some line about not feeling it anyway. Trust me, even if you can't feel it, it can still hurt you. You'll tell me to stop if you think it is, right? You'll—"

"Alec," Logan murmured. He nosed the skin under Alec's jaw. "You're not hurting me." He mouthed Alec's jugular, coaxing the pulse to pound in Alec's ears. His fingers unfurled and kneaded Alec's lower back. 

Carefully, Alec slipped his finger all the way in. He felt Logan's breath caught against Alec's collar bone. Alec slowly turned his hand, his finger inside massaging, crooking until he found—

Logan shuddered. He uttered a surprised sound. When Alec did it again, Logan exhaled sharpply.. 

"Oh God..."

"You're feeling it. It's real," Alec promised Logan as he pressed down harder. Logan weakly clenched around his finger. Alec applied more pressure, careful not to press too hard. Between their bodies, Logan's cock sluggishly filled. 

Logan still sounded startled. His face turned into Alec's throat. He didn't look down at himself.

The vacuum in the room dissipated, yet Alec gasped against Logan. His finger moved more freely now, but Logan was still too tight for a second. Alec could feel the tendons and muscle, stiff with spasticity, fighting the invader moving cautiously inside. Logan's body clutched around Alec's finger stopping him from moving too fast or too deep. The lotion Alec covered his fingers with wasn't enough.

Against Alec, Logan shuddered as he was stroked; his cock was now semi hard and trapped between their bodies. Logan's body rocked as Alec began to thrust into the planes of his stomach, Alec's finger now moving roughly in and out of him.

Every time Logan's inner muscles tried to tighten around his finger, Alec's vision clouded. He felt Logan's cock, curved shyly and tucked into the fold of Alec's thigh and hip. He felt Logan's breathing quickening; pleasure and fear pushing the other to the edge of hyperventilating.

"Alec..."

"I got you..."

Logan's fingers dug into Alec's lower back as Alec worked two fingers into him now. Logan moaned as they scissored then curled inside him. Alec stretched places no one else touched. He massaged the hidden spot no one else ever did. He worked deeper to coax sensation, to the point the gland almost felt swollen.

Like a switch was turned on, Logan shuddered. Alec felt it around his fingers; a tremor that wasn't electrical, but no less charging.

White light blazed in front of Alec's eyes. He shifted until Logan's cock was trapped between his thighs. Alec's hips snapped up to help Logan thrust between his legs, his fingers jabbing Logan hard to push him forward as well.

Logan grunted as he crashed into Alec. His cock rammed hard between Alec's thighs, running under Alec's balls.

Alec felt himself hardening again, his balls drawing up against his body as Logan's cock grazed under them. He stopped murmuring encouragement. He ached. He wanted. He took.

And Logan gave. 

With a jerk, Logan's head banged into Alec's jaw. He bucked, butting up into Alec, his legs jerked, caught up in their entangled motions. 

Logan muttered Alec's name repeatedly. At times, they sounded like pleas. Other times, they sounded like promises. 

Alec swallowed each sound as they tumbled out of Logan's mouth. His two fingers thrust frantically into Logan. His body collided into Logan. Faster and deeper, Alec went. He could feel Logan's desperation. For what, he didn't know. Why, he was afraid to ask. Alec laid claim on every part of Logan's skin with his mouth, his cock, his hands...

With a jolt, Logan shouted, his upper body writhing as his cock twitched. Around Alec's fingers, muscles squeezed weakly.

Alec snarled, his hips surging forward. He came all over Logan's stomach. Alec groaned as Logan wrapped hands around his cock and milked him dry. 

Logan whimpered when Alec's fingers dove even deeper into Logan, into the over-sensitized body, stroking and stroking until Logan was sobbing out his final release. 

With an exhale, Logan burrowed closer into Alec's embrace seeking warmth. He dropped his head into the crook of Alec's shoulder. A shaky exhale ghosted over Alec's heated skin.

Alec kissed the top of Logan's head, his fingers twisting in one last time before slipping free. Logan made a small broken sound. Almost immediately, Alec felt cold all over, not just his fingers.

Logan lay curled into Alec. His legs stretched out awkwardly against Alec, half twisted from their exertions.

Alec peppered Logan's throat with kisses as he rearranged the other to lie comfortably on his back. Alec rolled onto his side, Logan's arm pillowing his cheek.

Silence stretched over them.

"Don't hate me," Alec finally mumbled. "But I really want to do that again."

Logan stared up at the ceiling. His hand, however, drifted over to Alec's spent cock.

"Not _now_." Alec cupped Logan's hand to keep it over his dick though. "Maybe in another hour?"

Logan stuttered out a laugh. "You're serious?"

"Okay, I was going for modest, but fuck that. Give me twenty—no, fiftee—nah, ten minutes. Give me ten minutes?"

Logan bit back a moan. His head lolled so he could look at Alec. 

"That really happened."

Alec gripped Logan's hand over his groin. He searched Logan's flushed face. A knot formed in Alec's throat. He had to clear his throat a few times before he could speak.

"Sorry it happened?"

Logan blinked and looked up at the ceiling. Before Alec could drop Logan's hand, it gave Alec an answering squeeze.

"Wasn't sure it could happen," Logan whispered. He abruptly shut his eyes. "I wasn't sure..."

Alec propped himself up on an elbow. He brushed his lips over Logan's mouth, under his red-rimmed eyes, trailing down his dry cheeks. Alec said nothing. Logan said nothing; he lay there as Alec kissed away hurts and pain and shadows.

When Logan opened his eyes again, they were clear.

"It happened," Logan breathed. "It was real." He trailed a hand down the length of Alec's spine. He briefly cupped a buttock cheek and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"To answer your question: no, not sorry it happened."

Alec smiled at Logan. He slowly smirked. Logan's eyebrow arched in response.

"Want me to remind you _what_ happened?" Alec swung a leg over Logan's body as he lowered himself.

"I thought you said ten minutes."

"Eh, give or take a minute or five."

 

"Oh my God, you dog."

Alec happily barked at Original Cindy when he opened the door. He stood there, unabashed in a clean pair of Logan's boxers because he may or may not have dirtied his own this morning when he woke up Logan again rather enthusiastically. Maybe he shouldn't have dressed first.

"Morning," Alec chirped. "Waffles?" He held out a plate of stacked golden circles towards Cindy. She stared at them with a scowl. 

"Where's Logan? It is too early in the morning for Original Cindy to deal with you." Cindy nudged the plate away and stomped in. 

"Oh, he's taking another shower," Alec told Cindy gleefully as he trailed behind her. When Cindy turned sharply on her heels to glower at Alec, he grinned at her.

"We have pancakes too."

Cindy muttered under her breath but made a beeline for the kitchen. 

Alec whistled as he unpacked the rest of the delivered food. He divided up the pancakes, the waffles and the eggs among three plates.

"Whipped cream?" Cindy said archly when she peeled the lid back on one of the containers.

"Hey," Alec whined. "That's mine. I might need that lat—all right! Here!" He pouted as Cindy took a generous mound to pile on top of her waffle. Begrudgingly, he tossed in some berries into her waffles as well. No point in stealing his whipped cream without blueberries. It was awesome with blueberries. Just like it would be awesome smeared all over Logan's c—

Cindy's hand came out of nowhere fast.

"Get that nasty look off your face," Cindy said as she cut a piece of waffle with her fork. She ignored Alec's scowl. "Original Cindy doesn't want to see that while she's eating." She shot Alec a look. She smirked.

Alec poked at his food. There was an odd warmth creeping up his ears.

"Shut up," Alec mumbled as he tugged at an ear, but the heat seemed to only spread. The corners of his mouth quirked up when Cindy playfully elbowed him.

"You all right?" 

"Hey, I am _so_ all right—" Alec's fork came up between Cindy's hand and his head. He squinted at her. Fine, see if he gave her the details or not. Party pooper.

Cindy turned away from her food. She looked at Alec with a frown. "Original Cindy never saw anyone blaze out of _Crash_ so fast."

Alec opened his mouth, but whatever joke he wanted to toss out died at the serious brown eyes. His mouth snapped shut. He dropped his gaze back to his food. He had caught himself before his hand rose up to pick at a scab that was no longer there.

Unable to think of anything else to do, Alec shrugged.

An arm slipped around Alec's shoulders.

Startled, Alec lifted up his head.

"Look." Cindy canted her head. "Original Cindy may not have the complete 411 on your business, but we know it's some pretty heavy shit." Her hand went up to the back of Alec's head. She didn't touch Alec's bar code. Not quite. But Alec shivered all the same.

"That thing on your neck..." Cindy paused when Alec flinched. Her voice gentled. "Original Cindy don't care if it's a bar code or a license plate or a receipt tattooed on your neck. No one's coming to get you. No one can." She gave her arm around Alec a tiny shake. "You think we're going to let them?" She ruffled Alec's head. "Or the others?" She smirked. "Or Logan?"

Alec smiled wanly. His head bobbed as he went along with Cindy's gentle shake. He poked at his food. Saying thank you felt meager on his tongue.

"Now," Cindy said briskly as she pulled back. "What did you two boys want Original Cindy so desperately for at butt o'clock in the morning?"

"Well, I was thinking you, me, Logan, whipped cream and that pretty gold scarf of yours tied around his—Why are you hitting me?" Alec stuck out his lower lip at her as he backed away. 

"Because you probably deserve it," Logan murmured as he rolled out of his bedroom, barely audible under the towel over his shower damp bangs. 

"Hey!"

To Alec's disappointment, Logan didn't wear the gray sweats Alec oh so helpfully laid out for him, but a cream colored henley and supple jeans. Logan fumbled out his thin rimmed glasses, missing the leer Alec threw his way. He did, however, catch Cindy's scowl at Alec and he threw a mild frown towards Alec as well.

Alec gave up and went back to his breakfast. He pulled a plate of pancakes away when he caught Cindy giving them a speculative look. He bared syrup stained teeth at her as he drew the plate to him.

"These are Logan's." Alec nodded towards another plate he filled with waffles and fruit. No raspberries though. He passed over Logan's plate as the other wheeled by. "These are yours but she already ate the whipped cream."

"Uh, thank you." Logan coughed as he hastily wheeled to the fridge for water. Head stuck in the appliance, he missed the eyebrow Cindy shot Alec.

Breakfast was consumed in silence with an occasional glower from Alec whenever Logan tried to put his fork down. Logan had eaten half his pancakes before Alec rescued the rest to smoosh together with his last waffle to make a sticky and sweet sandwich.

"That's disgusting," Cindy commented. She made a face when Alec gaped at her; his mouth was crammed with waffley goodness. She responded by throwing a used napkin at him. Ew.

"Well, I lost my appetite," Logan said.

"Did you ever have it in the first place?" Alec grumbled. He pointedly nodded towards the plate of waffles. 

Logan's knuckles briefly brushed the back of Alec's knees as he steered around Alec to get them.

The pancakes went down the wrong way as Alec's cock filled with interest. He sputtered as he shuffled sideways to stand behind the kitchen island.

"Tell us your plan, oh great and wise _Eyes Only_ ," Alec managed. He was torn between glowering at Logan as he innocently cut into the plate of waffles balanced on his lap and climbing into Logan's lap to lick the smear of red jam off his lower lip.

Original Cindy rolled her eyes. She reached down and hauled up what she was also carrying. A battered green toolbox rattled when it landed on the counter.

Alec arched an eyebrow at the steel kit. He gestured towards it with a fork loaded with pancake and scrambled eggs. 

"Uh, if you're thinking of fixing your wheels, might work better if you have them with you."

Cindy shot Alec a "Why do I put up with you" look before redirecting it to Logan.

"Him? Are you sure?" Cindy stuck a thumb towards Alec.

"Hey!" 

Logan's ears pinked. "The reason why I asked you over was because I have an idea—"

"Me too, but she deep sixed the idea of a three—All right! Put your hand down!"

"Cindy and I were talking," Logan started.

Alec beamed. "You two were talking about me? Seriously, if it's a threesome, we should—ow! Okay, never mind!" He rubbed the back of his neck. He shot Logan a look. "See what I put up with working there?"

Logan arched an eyebrow at Alec. "I didn't see anything."

Alec crossed his eyes at Logan. He blinked when Logan chuckled.

Cindy smirked, her eyes going from Alec to Logan. 

"What?" Alec grumbled.

Cindy wordlessly flipped the top back to reveal vials of makeup on the top tray. Alec screwed up his face.

"I think Logan here is more of a summer color," Alec quipped as he poked through the various bottles. He squinted at the nail colors. "Say, can we do Original Cindy's nails in this color? It'll go with the bra she's wearing right now."

Cindy flipped the toolbox lid shut. Alec yelped as he retracted his hand. She huffed as she folded her arms.

"Want to put some pants on so we can get started?"

"...Started on what?"

 

A few minutes later, Alec stared at the small hand mirror Original Cindy held up to show him the reflection of the back of his neck. 

"It's...good," Alec managed as he gazed at the skin tone. His keen eyesight could make out where the piece of silicon skin graft sealed over the sides of his bar code. He could make out the concealer and foundation Cindy applied. It was smudged and the tone was off, not quite matching, but it was close. It was perfect.

"Don't touch it," Cindy advised. "It's all day, my good stuff, but it'll smear when you sweat or touch it with your grubby hands." She smiled faintly at the mirror Alec held. "But it'll do."

Alec mutely nodded.

"How is it?" Logan wheeled in, stopping at the bathroom doorway. He smiled as Alec did a slow turn to show. "Looks good. No point completely covering it since everyone saw by now, but it's smaller now, not as noticeable. And since it's getting warm now, you could go with a lighter jacket or none at all. It wouldn't rub up against it."

"And I can touch it up whenever you need to," Cindy added.

Alec blinked at the mirror, eyes glued to the hand mirror, at his neck. 

"I'm going to finish my breakfast," Cindy suddenly said. "We're going to be late for work."

Alone in the bathroom, Logan rolled in until he was next to Alec.

"It's not a permanent solution," Logan murmured, his gaze on their reflections. "But at least out there, you don't have to hurt yourself to hide."

"It wasn't bad before," Alec said as he turned away from the mirror; he was starting to feel narcissistic staring too long. 

Logan scoffed. "Really?" He blinked when Alec kneeled down to stand between his knees.

Alec brushed a hand over Logan's top. He reveled in the worn softness that covered the hard muscle underneath. He felt Logan's breath caught as he smoothed his hand over a covered nipple.

"Thanks."

Logan smiled faintly. "At least you don't have to worry about finding another tattoo—"

"I meant for last night." Alec rose slightly to press his lips at the corner of a widened eye. "And this morning." He kissed the corner of the other eye. "You were amazing."

"I should be telling you that." Logan ran his thumb down Alec's side. "I...I didn't think I could..."

"Even if you couldn't, it would have been okay. All right? We would still be good. We were so good before. Great even." Alec brushed a finger across Logan's lower lip. He circled that lush lip, prodding until he slipped the tip in. His breath quickened when Logan gently sucked the tip before Alec pulled back.

"Maybe I should call in sick today," Alec murmured. 

Logan's brow furrowed. "Are you feeling all right?" His hands settled on Alec's shoulders.

Alec smirked as he leaned in. "I feel lightheaded." He grazed his mouth over Logan's throat. The rough stubble itched, tingled against his lips. "We should stay in bed."

Logan swallowed a tiny moan as Alec moved to mouth his shirt over a peaking nipple. The wheelchair creaked as he sagged back into it.

"Alec..."

"I should keep you in bed," Alec growled into the vulnerable skin of Logan's Adam's apple. He slipped hands under the shirt to feel shower damp skin. He felt muscles jumping at his touch. 

"So responsive," Alec purred. "Everywhere I touch..." He snaked his hands around Logan's back to settle possessively on Logan's shoulder blades. Alec sucked a spot at the junction of Logan's neck and shoulder. "The things I want to do to you. The things I want you to do to me..."

Alec pressed a bruising kiss on a spot, felt Logan shudder. He sucked harder, relentlessly. Logan's hands on his shoulders moved restlessly as Alec devoured that sweet spot, suckling until he felt the heat of a new bruise blooming on Logan's skin. 

"We should stay in bed," Alec whispered into the mark. Logan shuddered under his mouth. "I would take my time. I would make you scream again. Oh, I knew you would be a screamer. I would take you apart until you couldn't scream anymore."

Alec gentled his mouth, giving the spot one last kiss before pulling back. He smirked as he ran his fingers through Logan's hair, so it was less of a rat's nest.

Logan panted, his hands gripping the back of Alec's shirt. His pupils were overblown, his face flushed and his henley was bunched under his arms, exposing a flat stomach heaving to draw a breath.

Alec seriously considered calling in sick.

"We should...we should get back to work," Logan gasped. His hands reluctantly dropped but not before they ran down Alec's arms. "I...there's a few leads _Eyes Only_ need to check on." Logan tentatively smiled at Alec's frown. "I'll be okay."

"Sure." Alec forced himself to smile back. "Late night?"

Logan paused. "I...no...not really. Feel like dropping by for dinner tonight?"

A grin tugged at his face. Alec shrugged as he rose to his feet. "Sure. If you're doing nothing else. I could drop by." He slanted a look at Logan. "Nine?"

"Sounds good."

Alec hesitated as he was about to leave the bathroom. "Hey..."

"I'll be fine, Alec."

Alec rubbed a knuckle to the doorframe. "I'm doing deliveries all day in sector four if you want me to swing by anywhere."

"I'm not anywhere near there." 

"Think Normal might send me through Sector seven too since I know all the shortcuts."

Logan sighed. "Alec..."

"I know." Alec shot Logan a strained smile. "For my own good." He shoved his hands in his jeans. "I'll see you at nine then."

Logan's chair creaked as it rocked in place. "I..." Logan's voice firmed. 

"I was thinking steak. Maybe something classic like baked potato."

Alec was thinking of locking Logan in his bedroom. Instead, he nodded. "Sounds great." He forced himself to leer. "What's for dessert?"

Logan chuckled nervously.

 

He couldn't step into the door.

Alec's foot froze, his right foot barely on the threshold. Even from here, _Jam Pony_ 's morning hit him with a wall of sound.

"Pike and Murray! Which one of you idiots know the way?"

"...told him no way! Five, for sure..."

"So I hit a right and they were right there, waiting for me to—"

"Hot run! Bip, bip, bip!"

"She told me it was real!"

It felt like stepping foot in _Jam Pony_ for the first time. Everything sounded loud, voices fighting to get on top of each other, Normal scrambling to be heard above the all. 

"You going in or not, Dean?"

Alec's eyes slid over to Cindy. She rested her elbows on the handlebars of her bike. She ignored the grumbling around her as she stood parked in the middle of the ramp next to Alec.

"I better." Alec caught himself before shrugging. He could feel the graft sitting alien on his nape. "Normal sounds about ready to freak out."

"That's normal for Normal," Cindy snorted. "The man is always one step away from hysterical."

Alec took a step. He stopped. He stood there, jaw flexing as he squeezed the grips on his bike. 

"It's a breeze," Cindy murmured. 

Alec grunted.

Cindy didn't come closer, but her voice lowered anyway. "You let the wind carry you in. Original Cindy's got your back. No one's going to notice you."

"I think I've been dissed," Alec joked weakly. He sobered. His face pulled in all directions, trying to hold the smirk. But he couldn't; the back of his neck burned like the bar code was eating through the layers of silicon and make up.

An elbow jabbed Alec in the ribs. Alec had gripped his bike's handlebars before he jumped high into the air.

"You missed a spectacular stunt yesterday," Sketchy complained. He was unaware of how close he came to receiving a punch that would have shattered his jaw in a single blow. Alec had shoved his hands into his pockets before he completed his fists.

"Franklin did a flip and a—" Sketchy's fingers twisted in a failed attempt at show-and-tell. "Then he pulled a—" He spun on his heels. "Then Lee walked by in this tiny pair of leather shorts and wham!" 

"Brother nearly met Jah in a pool of bad beer," Herbal quipped, popping from behind. Alec twitched. "Looked for you but you were like smoke." He waggled his fingers in the air. "Poof and you were in the wind." He frowned. "You all right, brother?"

Alec smiled, strained. He could feel those damn lines on his neck, eating through Cindy's hard work, his t-shirt, the jacket and the collars he drew up. It was going to burn through, leaving him with a flimsy shield of ashes. 

Sketchy slapped Alec on the back. Alec bit the inside of his cheek before he snarled and did something rash like head butt him or something.

"Minty was looking for you too," Sketchy whispered in Alec's ear. He misread Alec's tensing; he waggled his eyebrows. "Heard she wanted to show you her tattoo. She copied River."

"Oh," Alec managed. "On her neck too?"

"Nah, man. She did it all the way down above her—" Sketchy yelped when Original Cindy twisted the messenger's ear, spinning him away from Alec and towards the doors.

"Don't you two have a hot run?" Cindy snapped. She swatted Sketchy and Herbal as they hopped on their bikes and sped off.

Alec stuck a finger in his ear to shake off the ringing. Sketchy can get surprisingly high pitched. He blinked after the two and slowly turned back to the bullpen.

Steward with his orange streaked hair was dodging half-hearted swings from Links. 

Someone banged a locker door. Another replied and suddenly, it was musical lockers in an upbeat tune in the men's changing room until Normal shut it down with a bellow.

A bike whizzed by, earning him the usual shout from Normal's caged throne.

River was tilting her head forward, one hand holding up her own dark braid to show off her bar code to another messenger.

Jake distractingly waved to Alec as he veered around Original Cindy to avoid TP because he'd glue the guy's locker shut again.

Normal stuck his head long enough to breathe package free air, called three messengers disillusioned losers and chucked a package marked 'Fragile' to Ming across the floor.

No one looked Alec's way.

The heat branding Alec's neck didn't go away; not completely. It throbbed vaguely. Alec doubted it would ever go away. He stood there numbly, watching everyone go by ignoring him.

A box bounced off Alec's shoulder.

"You! Chambers and Third! Bip, bip, bip!"

Well, not everyone.

Alec picked up the now dented hot run from the ground. As he straightened, he caught Original Cindy smirking out of the corner of his eye.

"Original Cindy doesn't say 'I told you so', but she doesn't mind if someone buys her dinner either."

Alec made a face. "Before payday?"

Cindy rolled her eyes. "Fine, a round at _Crash_."

"But the beers are full priced today," Alec whined half-heartedly as he eyed Cindy's profile. There was a nice pair of platinum hoops in 19P that would look way better on her.

"Beer _and_ your bowl of peanuts." Cindy poked Alec in the ribs. "Pay up, Dean."

At the name, Alec's stomach knotted. He pretended to cringe away from Cindy's finger. 

"What's it with you and the physical abuse?" Alec complained as he rubbed the non-existent hurt on his side. "I'm getting traumatized." 

"Don't get to that hot run in fifteen minutes," Normal hollered, almost shrill, "And I'll show you traumatized! Maybe you should have tattooed a _clock_ on your forehead instead. Bip, bip, bip!"

Alec choked around any quip he could think of.

"You're welcome." Cindy smirked.

"Shut up," Alec muttered, but he grinned back as he climbed back onto his bike.

 

"Interesting."

Alec tensed at Sweeper's thoughtful tone. He could feel the gaze on his neck. He fought the urge to hunch.

"Is it?" Alec said, deliberately casual as he picked up his sandwich: steak leftover from dinner last night thinly sliced with onions. Too bad Logan didn't include dessert. 

Then again, dessert last night was...

Alec's eyes briefly glazed over. He shook himself out of his reverie when Sweeper dropped on the bench across from him. The guy brightened when Alec tossed over half a wrapped sandwich. Logan didn't pause when Alec had announced he wanted two sandwiches today. And there was no hesitation either when Alec coaxed him to sit forward in his chair so Alec could slip slicked fingers up—

"Will I be getting one too?"

The growing weight between Alec's legs deflated as this morning's events popped in Alec's head. He glowered at Sweeper, half baffled.

"Get what?"

Sweeper glanced exaggeratedly to his left and his right. No one else dared to squat in the condemned school's playground for lunch. Nevertheless, Sweeper scanned their surroundings before he nodded behind him. He stuck a dirty thumb out and jerked it up towards his neck.

The food sat cold in Alec's gut. He gulped down the rest of the bite that had lodged in his throat.

"Trust me," Alec said curtly. He tore into the sandwich, but his appetite was gone. "You don't want this."

"I see," Sweeper said, downcast. "Your predecessor wore it as well. I assumed this was a symbol of your allegiance to our leader."

"It's a symbol all right," Alec bit out. He dropped his sandwich onto the oil barrel serving as their table. "It's not a nice symbol though."

Sweeper canted his head as he studied Alec. To Alec's surprise, he only uttered a meek "Oh" and went back to his food.

Alec peeled the crust on the second sandwich. He chewed on the strip of bread as he rewrapped it for Sweeper. The guy could have it later. Maybe eventually that stale pigeon meat breath would go away because, ew.

"Does it hurt?" Sweeper asked hesitantly. He looked solemnly at Alec, his food forgotten.

Alec sat on his hands before they went up to his neck. He paused, thinking it over. He shrugged.

"Not like it used to," Alec confessed, surprising himself. He blinked at the beaming grin Sweeper tossed his way.

"Excellent," Sweeper enthused. He went back to his food with renewed vigor.

Alec arched an eyebrow at Sweeper's weird hat. The attached lens bobbed wildly as Sweeper went "Nom nom nom" on the donated food.

"Yeah," Alec said as he caught himself grinning back at the weird guy. "Excellent."

 

When Dorothy woke up, she wept with joy.

Alec frowned.

"So it was all a dream?"

Logan didn't look at the movie playing on the screen. He sat stretched out across on the other end of the couch, typing on that damn laptop of his.

"In this version, yes."

Dorothy burst into song. Operatic strings whined in pace.

"Although," Logan said, grimacing as he finally looked up at the flat screen, "Dorothy didn't sing that or in Mandarin in the version I saw when I was a kid." He sighed as he pulled down his spectacles. "It's not quite the same since Hollywood's archives were auctioned off studio by studio."

Alec idly rubbed a hand down Logan's ankles; he pulled to his lap during the really weird song and dance the munchkins did. He thought they should have been happy the Wicked Witch was dead, but instead, the citizens chided Dorothy for killing their leader and usurping the stability of Oz. 

"I thought that book of yours had a crappy ending," Alec grumbled. He pressed his thumb around in massaging circles on the arch of Logan's foot, coaxing blood to move, to warm. "She still left them here."

"She wanted to go back," Logan murmured as he frowned at his screen. He slipped his spectacles back on, only his frown just deepened. "Dorothy wanted to go home."

"Then she wouldn't have wanted to leave in the first place," Alec reminded Logan. "Remember that stupid song about the crimson waves?"

Logan made a face.

"What?"

"I didn't know what she sang about, but I suspected they changed it. The original was 'Over the Rainbow'."

Alec blinked at Logan from his end of the couch. "You don't understand Mandarin?"

Logan shook his head. He tapped a few keys. "Not enough to get the colloquiums like you did."

Alec curled his hands around Logan's left foot. It felt chilled and the bruise from yesterday's workout was still a splotchy yellow. He absently ran a thumb down the Achilles's tendon. The foot twitched reflexively in response.

"If you didn't understand it, why get it?" 

"Only version I could find." Logan made a face. The keys chittered faster. "Most of the classics were redubbed and edited to suit the new owners' whims." The laptop bounced on Logan's thighs. "When our economy collapsed, our culture was sold off to the highest bidder."

"That sucks." Alec studied the remains of dinner on the coffee table. He weighted the benefits of eating the last garlic bread or the weight of Logan's feet on his lap. He leaned back into the couch; his hand wrapped possessively around a cool ankle.

"Wish I found the original," Logan murmured in agreement. "It's much better. Judy didn't sound as...preachy then."

"We didn't have to watch a movie, you know. Unless you wanted to show off your fancy flat screen."

Logan didn't look up from his computer, but his shoulders tensed under the navy sweatshirt. 

"Thought it might make a nice change," Logan mumbled. "Figured you're probably bored by now."

Alec boggled. "Bored? Of the dinner? You made _lasagna_ tonight. I could eat that _every day_." Alec stopped. "Wait. You meant...Oh." He brushed a hand up Logan's pale ankle. He reached over for the fleece blanket in the nearby wheelchair and flipped it over his lap and Logan's feet.

"I mean," Logan said awkwardly as he stared at the computer screen, "all we do is eat and, well—"

"Have fantastic sex multiple times," Alec said loudly. He sniggered when Logan's ears pinked. "Seriously?"

Logan shrugged again, his eyes glued to the screen.

"Are you watching porn without me?" Alec said in mock outrage. "We could have watched porn instead of some ungrateful chick boomeranging between Kansas and Oz?" He stretched out his arm and hooked two fingers onto the top edge of the laptop. He flipped it over. He stopped. 

The screen was dark.

Alec stared at the computer between them. After a beat, he shut it and wordlessly returned it to Logan.

Logan gripped the laptop with both hands. His shoulders slumped and he put the laptop on the coffee table. 

"We didn't have to see a movie," Alec repeated. He wanted to jump off the couch, because what the hell? He wanted to stomp out, get on his ride and zip through the curfew darkened streets. He wanted to, but he still has Logan's feet on hi—Oh.

Alec glanced down at the covered unmoving feet he had tugged over his lap when the movie began, when Logan had all of a sudden said there was something he forgot to do, when he had lowered his food, lowered his eyes, lowered his voice...

"They looked cold," Alec said lamely. He resisted moving Logan's feet off. Not when Logan was making a point _not_ to look.

"It's fine." Logan raised his eyes to meet Alec. They looked resigned. He grimaced faintly at Alec. "They're always cold."

Alec tucked folds of fleece tighter around Logan's feet. He dropped a hand to the ankle.

"Sorry," Alec fumbled. "I mean, you know how I'm always looking for a reason to molest you. I..." He shrugged. "Sorry."

Logan sighed. He shook his head. "No, I'm...it doesn't matter what you do. I can't feel it whether they're cold or hurt or..." He laughed awkwardly. "I usually have to doublecheck to make sure they're not caught under my chair.   
I constantly have to be sure they're not too cold, or I'll lose a toe to frostbite and not even realize it."

"I'm pretty sure," Alec said lightly, "you would notice if you lose one of your cute toes." He cupped the soft blanket lump. "At least, _I_ would notice. You have pretty feet. I mean, some guys have like these long freakish toes that look like fingers. There was this one guy with hair between them. I mean, on them, I've seen, but _between_ them? It's lik—"

"Alec, it's fine." Logan smiled self-deprecatingly. "I'm too sensitive about..." He vaguely waved towards his legs. "Over-compensating for...you know...the lack there of."

Alec dropped his eyes to the blue mound on his lap. He caressed one area where Logan's heels should be. They still felt cold on his thighs. He wanted to lower his mouth over them and breathe warmth into them.

"It's fine," Logan repeated. His unsteady voice betrayed him, though.

Alec drifted a finger from where Logan's big toe was. He swallowed as he thought about the weight on his lap, how they still felt cold under the fleece.

"Would it help," Alec murmured as he squeezed an ankle, "if I tell you when they're cold?"

Logan stilled.

Alec pinched a ripple of soft blue fabric. "I mean, in case you were wondering." He squeezed another ankle. "You can't feel it, but you can see it and hear about it when I tell you. Right?"

"...Right."

Alec stroked the blanket mound on his lap. "It sucks when your feet gets cold," he murmured.

Logan fidgeted to slump back into the armrest.

"You keep giving me frostbite in bed, man." 

A startled laugh broke free from Logan. "Sorry."

Alec pretended to shudder. "One time, your damn ice cubes almost froze my dick off."

"Okay, one, I doubt I'm that flexible to reach back there and two, someone here thinks highly of themselves." Logan chuckled. He watched Alec as he twisted around. "I'm pretty sure you're average length." 

"Hey!"

Logan's mouth parted. "Although, we should confirm that."

Alec carefully slid Logan's feet to the couch. He crawled up the couch and straddled Logan, his groin rocking into Logan's firm stomach. He knead Logan's shoulders and felt the last of the tension melt under his touch.

"Next time," Alec murmured as he leaned in, his growing bulge rubbing down the middle of Logan's chest, "forget the movie. You can never bore me. But if you really want to shake things up, show porn instead."

"I think," Logan breathed as Alec's mouth hovered over his throat, "there's enough porn going on here."

"Heather, there can never be enough porn."

 

"Jonas Cale."

Alec frowned at the newest handful of photos Sweeper turned in. He waved his half eaten burrito at the guy. Sweeper stared cross-eyed at it. "Again?"

Sweeper, his mouth full of shredded lettuce from his own burrito, nodded as he ate (or swallowed whole, geez).

The park bench Alec sat on groaned when he leaned forward to balance his food on a knee. He gave the seat a wary look. It was one of the few parks the city kept, but its maintenance was often more of an afterthought. And often only on paper. 

Alec picked up one photo. He squinted. 

A tall bored looking man stepped out of a limousine. Despite the grainy black and white quality, he looked like he wore a tailored suit; the kind hunched back tailors with twitchy fingers and loops of tape measure made. He was lean with an expertly trimmed cut that made his receding hairline attractive. He wore a modest paunch in his gut that spoke of a lifestyle that now included less gym and more caviar. His small eyes were cast downward; his mouth crooked up at the corner as if something amused him. He was also empty handed. Someone else held his briefcase for him. Alec suspected the guy never needed to carry his id and wallet either. 

Alec tracked the man's eye line into the next photo. He bristled.

Logan smiled tightly back to the other. He didn't wear a suit; he looked out of place on a street filled with people dressed in similar suits, carrying his or her own briefcase. He wore the pullover Alec saw him in this morning; the gray one that looked like it should and maybe once did, fit across his shoulders. Logan wore a blazer over it, thin enough Alec could tell he didn't take his gun with him. Alec wasn't sure if that reassured him or not.

"He's the CEO of Cale Industries," Sweeper supplied as Alec checked the next photo taken a little over an hour later. Logan shook hands with the man. He still wore that constrained smile. The other gazed down at Logan with the same damn little smirk. It didn't look like Logan said anything funny, though.

"It was a short meeting." Sweeper picked ribbons of shredded lettuce out of the wax paper and ate them as if they were burritos as well. "Our leader met this man in his own home two weeks ago; just as brief."

Sweeper sat on the same bench. He didn't notice how it creaked ominously when he bent forward into Alec's space.

"Cale Industries is our country's only supplier of hoverdrones; our mechanical sentries." Sweeper's eyes shone like lit coals. "Our eyes and ears watching over our citizens. Like us."

"Those things are not like us," Alec muttered darkly as he turned to the next picture. Logan stared after the departing car. He had stopped smiling. Alec thought he could see shadows lurking at the corners of Logan's mouth. 

"Do you think Jonas Cale is a part of this?"

Alec glanced up. "Part of what?"

The bench bowed under Alec when Sweeper fidgeted closer. A few more inches and he was going to be on Alec's lap. Ew.

"The hoverdrones. The cameras. Like us." Sweeper eagerly pointed to his weird helmet on his head. The lens bobbed. It flared white when it caught the afternoon sun. "Watching the neglected, the poor, the forgotten..."

"Doubt it." Alec went through the other photos, but nothing else drew his interest. "This Jonas Cale guy doesn't look like he likes to get his hands dirty: literally or not."

"I wonder what his connection with our leader is?" Sweeper mused out loud.

Alec shrugged. "Who knows? Our... _leader_ doesn't stay long enough to be anything. Maybe stuck around to be fed martinis and bullshit."

"What?"

"Nothing." Alec rose to his feet. The bench groaned in relief. Sweeper bobbed as it righted itself.

"Perhaps we should find out who Jonas Cale is?" Sweeper asked hopefully. 

Alec frowned. 

Sweeper canted his head. He appeared lopsided when the camera lens on top of his helmet sagged to the left.

"Jonas Cale could be an ally or foe," Sweeper said, his voice suddenly empty of his zeal. "Whoever he is to our comrade, he wasn't greeted with much enthusiasm or enjoyment." He looked at the photos Alec held in his fist. "Surely we should respond if he is a threat to our mission."

"Our mission," Alec muttered to himself. He checked his watch. Sung reported they were having a meeting in two hours. Unfortunately, Normal gave Alec a shift that ended in four. 

Alec took a deep breath. "Look, stick to our duties, okay? Surveillance only."

"But—"

Alec shook his head jerkily. "Just keep tailing the cute one," he advised. "I'll go check out Jonas Cale."

Sweeper hummed. He nodded as he gathered up the remains of lunch for later. "Our leader is indeed much more appealing to look at," he mused out loud. "He does make for a much pleasurable surveillance."

Alec's head whipped back to Sweeper. " _What_?"

Sweeper shot Alec a huge grin and bounced to his feet. He saluted so sharply, Alec was surprised the air didn't crack in its wake. Before Alec could say anything more, Sweeper beamed at Alec and with that strange whirring sound again, bounded off to seek out Logan. 

Alec glowered after Sweeper, his remark ringing in his head like a taunt. He took a step towards Sweeper's direction. His beeper interrupted his next step.

Shaking his head, muttering, Alec wasn't sure why the idea of sending Sweeper after Logan suddenly felt like a bad idea. He shot that direction one last blistering look before he headed back to work. He made a note to show up earlier for dinner with Logan. Just in case.

 

Even in the dark, Alec could make out Logan's hunched shoulders. They curled away from the cradle of his body. Logan sighed under his breath, his head shifting on the pillow for yet another vigil to wait for dawn.

Alec pressed their combined hands clasped over Logan's stomach.

"It's only four," Alec whispered, "Go back to sleep." He dropped a kiss on Logan's unblemished nape. Somehow, the patch of skin tasted sweeter than any place else.

"I wake you?" Logan mumbled. His thumb caressed Alec's wrist bones. He didn't pull his hand away from their combined grasp, but Alec could feel Logan's shoulders rolling forward.

Alec had been awake all night waiting for Logan's regular jolt back to wakefulness. Logan picked at most of his dinner before. The poor tiny laptop squawked each time he had pounded the keys. And Logan seemed determined to work past his gag reflex tonight; something Alec wished he could have taken advantage of. But he suspected it would have left him feeling like scum after or worst, like a Fifty.

With a kiss on Logan's shoulder, Alec leaned in so Logan could feel his leer.

"Nah. I thought I woke _you_ up with all my humping."

Logan choked out a weak chuckle. "No, but really? Already?"

"Hey, I told you I could go all night."

"You did go all night." Logan's sleepy rumble was a pleasant vibration against Alec's chest.

Alec grazed his mouth down a line between Logan's shoulders. "Technically, it wasn't all night because your buddy Sung called at 2300 and totally killed Round Three." He rubbed the tip of his nose along Logan's nape. "So if you're not waking up for round four, what's going on?"

"Nothing." The shrug was audible in Logan's voice even as he lay there, fitted into the curve of Alec's body. "Not the first time."

No. Alec rested his cheek on the sharp edge of a shoulder blade. He idly ran a hand down Logan's side and counted the subtle indents of too many unfinished meals. 

"Sing you to sleep?" Alec suggested. He pressed his face into Logan's sleep warm back.

Logan snorted. "I heard you sing before. Remember? Trying to put me to sleep or give me nightmares?"

"In my defense, do you know how hard it is to get the high notes in Mandarin? That Dorothy chick had some pipes for a girl in Kansas."

" _Wizard of Oz_ was dubbed by some of Beijing's leading opera singers." Logan's head rolled on the pillow as he rested more of his weight against Alec.

Alec's hand went up and down Logan's side, down his bare flank. He tucked Logan's feet between his.

"Your feet's cold," Alec murmured. "Colder than usual."

"They're not freezing your dick off, are they?" Logan pulled the hand Alec kept splayed over his stomach. Logan kissed the knuckles.

"Nope." Alec turned his hand and wove his fingers with Logan's. They always seemed to slot together effortlessly. 

"How about a bedtime story?" Alec squeezed their hands together. "There once was a young suitor from Kent, Whose dick was so long that it was be—"

Logan's elbow eased back in a gentle poke. "Only you would think a dirty limerick makes a suitable bedtime story."

Alec snickered. "Probably wouldn't make you too sleepy, huh?"

"Probably." 

Alec ground his renewed erection into Logan's lower back, above the splattering puckered surgical scars he could feel but could never bring himself to see. Logan's body always grew rigid whenever he thought Alec was near it.

Logan groaned as Alec's cock leaked a thin trail down the knobby slope of his back.

"If you think that's going to put me to sleep..."

Alec nipped the side of Logan's throat. "Figured if I make you come hard and plenty enough times, you'll fall right back to sleep."

Logan chuckled wearily. "So the plan is to exhaust me with sex?"

Alec hummed against Logan's shoulder. He connected the light cluster of freckles with his mouth.

"I could always keep you in bed, work my way up to four fingers." Alec ran his teeth down Logan's arm as he rutted into the arch of Logan's back. "You'll feel that. So tight, I'll barely fit. I'll fill you up, stretch you out so full; you'll end up fucking yourself every time you breathe deep and pull me in."

Logan sagged into Alec's hold, rocking as Alec ground his erection into his back. Pre-come dribbled down to the cleft of his ass. 

Alec snapped his hips harder against Logan. He kept an arm around Logan's middle, to keep him from rolling away, to keep him close as Alec slapped their bodies together in a sleepy dance.

"You felt it, didn't you?" Alec whispered into Logan's ear. "Tonight. You were amazing. Three fingers, deep in you, I thought you were going to suck me into your body. And you felt full. Did you feel full? Did you feel me taking over every inch of you inside?"

Logan whimpered.

Alec pulled Logan tight to his chest. He felt the weight and curve of Logan's buttocks on his thighs. The bed creaked as Alec picked up the pace, driving his cock to trace up the spine, pre-come slicking his path.

"Maybe I'll keep at it," Alec purred into Logan's ear, "even after you fall back to sleep. You would still be tight enough. Keep you stretched and full all day and night."

Logan's body bobbed along with Alec. He grunted as he moved with Alec, letting Alec's knees pressed against his to move his lower body as well.

Logan felt overheated, solid against Alec's chest. Their legs fitted flushed: knees to knees, feet to feet. Logan sat on Alec's quads like a chair, like he wasn't lying on his side in bed but was riding Alec.

"Oh God," Alec gasped. His motions grew frantic. The bed rattled briefly. Logan cried out as he bucked against Alec. Faster and faster Alec slammed against Logan, his fingers too busy pinching, tugging, laying claim to every part of Logan's skin to dive into Logan. He curled a fist around the semi-rigid cock and began to furiously pump Logan.

Logan threw his head back, bumping into Alec's chin as he came. A thin stream of come dampened Alec's fist. Another line of come trickled over Alec's fingers as he continued to jerk Logan off, his own cock grinding along Logan's spine. He kept at it, wrenching another cry from Logan and still, he continued until Logan whimpered for mercy.

Alec kissed Logan's damp nape. He ran the flat of his tongue down Logan's back and tasted the salty sweat. He felt Logan quivering: wrung out and sagging into the bed. He was limp, blinking heavy lidded at Alec as he was rolled onto his back.

"Be right back." Alec flicked a sweaty brown bang out of Logan's eyes. He padded into the connected bathroom. 

Cloudy green eyes tried to track Alec as he returned to bed with a damp washcloth.

"I should have tried that weeks ago," Alec teased as he wiped Logan down then himself.

"I don't think I would have survived," Logan slurred. He sighed as Alec nudged him back on his side and pressed into his back.

Alec buried his nose into Logan's hair. "Better than me singing you to sleep."

"Much," Logan yawned.

Alec smirked into Logan's neck.

"Think you could sleep now?" Alec murmured.

Logan nodded. 

After a few moments though, Logan sighed.

Alec traced Logan's pecs with a finger.

"That's some pretty loud sleeping you got going on there."

"Sorry." Logan squeezed the other hand around his middle. "Do you want to go into the other bedroom and get some sleep?"

Alec frowned. "I could have kept going before."

"No, no," Logan choked out. "I don't think I have anything more than that." He rolled his head back, fitting into the crook of Alec's shoulder.

In return, Alec dropped his chin on Logan's shoulder. He wanted to roll Logan to face him, yet the tensed body flushed against his chest warned him back.

"Seriously, you're right though. This isn't the first time." Alec wished Logan didn't feel so cold. He tugged the thick covers higher over both their ears. The room muted what little light the clock on the end table gave.

"I just...there are nights My head sometimes gets...crowded"

Alec felt the short hairs on Logan's chest. He lightly raked his nails over them. He could feel Logan's heart hammering far too fast for a man lying still.

"Is it _Eyes Only_? Your informants? That creepy security guard who keeps staring at you? I'll rip his balls out if I catch him looking at you like that again." Alec murmured. He rubbed a hand over Logan's heart: slow circles contradicting the frantic flutter against his palm.

"What is it?" Alec murmured. His gut knotted as Logan sighed, the sound too much like the first month they knew each other.

"I'm not asking to get read in on your business. I just..." Alec dropped feathery kisses across the line of Logan's shoulders. "The 0400 hours wake ups gotta stop, babe. What's going on? What are you thinking about?"

"Nothin—Everything." Logan took a deep breath Alec felt against his stomach. He hooked his chin over Logan's shoulder. He tried to match Logan's breathing. When they fell into sync, he felt Logan's heart calming.

"You want to be more specific?" Alec lowered his voice to a whisper for Logan's ears only. 

"Bling, Max, my uncle, my legs, what am I doing, should I be doing this, what I've done, what I should have done, my informants, my mission, everyone I failed, everyone I can't fail..." Logan drew in a shuddering breath. "Sometimes I can't even figure out what I'm thinking about. Sometimes I'm awake just trying to remember how to breathe."

"...Yikes. Now _I_ can't sleep." Alec rested his forehead on Logan's nape. 

"Sorry."

Alec kissed the pale line where Logan's hair ended.

"Turn it off." Alec moved his hands up, pulling Logan flush to his body. He mapped Logan's body by touch, fingers tracing the shape of obliques and pecs and rib cage. "All that stuff in your head. Turn it all off."

"It's not that easy."

"Sure. Just don't think about it. Your head? All that stuff inside? Ignore it."

"Like you?" Logan snapped.

Alec's hands stilled.

Logan exhaled sharply in the dark.

"Shit, I—"

"Yes I can," Alec said quickly because hearing Logan verbally fumble made his insides roil. "When I need to. Otherwise I would have bought it the first week I was Out."

Logan said nothing. His hands, however, found Alec's and gripped them tight.

Alec crushed his face to Logan's hair.

"I'm not a saint," Alec mumbled. "I wasn't cooked up to be one, but if I wanted to keep going Out here; I had to learn to turn it off."

"I don't think I know how." Logan sounded weary, far beyond the need for sleep. 

Alec dropped his cheek to the small of Logan's back.

"Close your eyes." Alec rubbed his face on the back. He blew softly on the skin. "Think about anything else. Think about Logan Cale, not _Eyes Only_."

"Logan Cale is _Eyes Only_."

Alec ran his tongue down the wing of a shoulder blade. "Wrong answer, but fine. Think about...Heather."

Logan scoffed. He wiggled his shoulders, pressing into Alec's exploring mouth.

"That reminds me," Logan mumbled. "Why _do_ you call me Heather?"

"Uh uh, that's thinking."

"You told me to _think_ about Heather."

Alec bit the soft lobe closest to him. Logan snorted.

"No, you were _thinking_ thinking. You were doing that doom gloom thing."

"My doom gloom thing?"

Alec nibbled the pale skin behind Logan's ear. He ignored his renewing erection, tucked between Logan's buttock cheeks. He focused on painting each stiff muscle knotted on Logan's shoulders with his mouth: kissing, nipping, biting until he could feel the tension slip away.

"I think my uncle is involved in something big," Logan suddenly rasped.

"You're thinking again."

"I've been trying to talk to him, but he's starting to rebuff me, ignoring my calls—"

"Sh, what did I say about thinking, Heather?" Alec rocked them together, swaying them in the bed. 

Logan shuddered in Alec's arms. "I'm not sure. Maybe he didn't know. I'm hoping, but—"

"Quiet." Alec smoothed a hand over Logan's chest, his fingers raking through the chest hair. The sharp silk felt cool against him as if the heat, the very life, was bleeding out of Logan like from a cut vein.

"Sh." Alec suddenly felt like Logan wasn't close enough. He threw a leg over Logan's flank. He wound his arms tighter around the other. He pulled Logan with him deeper into the covers. He wrapped himself around Logan, shushing whatever Logan muttered about. In the back of his mind, he filed it all away for later. For now, Alec tried to soak the distress he could feel bleeding out of Logan's bones.

Alec wanted to hear another voice fill the space. He blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"Do you think I should tell her?" 

Logan stilled, his words petering away.

"Your real name?" Logan always seemed to know right away what Alec was referring to.

Alec made a face. "What? No, not 494—"

Logan squeezed Alec's hands tight, interrupting him. "I meant Alec. _That's_ your real name."

Alec shook his head against the wing of Logan's shoulder blade. "It was a name someone sort of threw at me the first few months I was Out. I figured why the hell not and chose—"

"Precisely; _you_ chose it. Not them."

Alec rubbed his chin down the exposed neck. "I don't think that's how it works."

"You left them; you're no longer under their thumb, why the hell should you keep anything of theirs?" 

Alec stared at the knob of bone sitting under Logan's nape. He brushed his nose along the hair line.

Logan gripped Alec's hands tightly. He drew them up to his mouth and kissed the knuckles: his and Alec's.

"So you think I should tell her then? My name: Alec?"

Logan exhaled. "It's your name. It's your call."

Alec dropped his face into the crook of Logan's shoulder. He bit his lower lip.

"She's okay," Alec finally said. "And she knows about me being a custom made job, but she hasn't flipped out about it."

Logan hummed as he sank back further into Alec.

There was a cluster of darker spots on the round joint of Logan's right shoulder. Alec bent his head and connected the dots with his tongue. Logan shivered.

"I mean," Alec said softly as he traced the line of Logan's shoulder blade with the tip of his nose, "she's been pretty cool about the whole genetically modified stuff."

Logan tipped his head back; Alec nibbled down the skin behind his ear.

"She has a thing about hitting my head and she's a party pooper about a threesome though." Alec pouted when he felt Logan vibrate against him.

Alec grazed his teeth down the line of Logan's shoulder. 

"Shut up," Alec groused. "Those are serious concerns."

Logan nodded a little too quickly. Smart ass.

"You're lucky you're hot," Alec muttered. He latched onto the skin under Logan's ear and sucked hard at the skin until a bruise bloomed. "And she's pretty hot herself. For a lesbian. So I guess I can overlook the other things."

"How magnanimous of you."

Alec growled. He pulled Logan tight to him; tight enough Logan could feel his erection against his spine.

"My name is Alec," Alec tested it out loud.

"I've always been partial to it," Logan yawned.

Alec smiled into the side of Logan's throat. He wiggled, his hips gliding up Logan's back.

"You sure?" Alec murmured, "Not 'oh my God' or 'Over there' or 'Again'? You seem to like calling me that a lot."

Logan mumbled. He drew Alec's arms around him like a blanket.

Alec rested his forehead on Logan's nape.

"Think she'll be pissed?" Alec asked as they swayed together. He tucked Logan's feet against his calves now. He rubbed the captured feet briskly.

"Not for too long." Logan's head shifted restlessly on the pillow.

"There was a bunch of names I tried before," Alec said. "One time, I tried one every two hours. Lost track at one point, I had to write them down on my arm."

Sure enough, Logan's drowsy curiosity was piqued.

"What names did you try?"

Alec bit back a smirk. "First one I tried was John." At Logan's half-hearted groan, Alec snickered. "Yeah, yeah. I know. I tried Adam next, but that didn't seem to fit. Tried Sam, but someone called me 'Sammy' and I was like, yuck, no way. Next..."

Dropping his voice lower and lower, Alec listed the names he tried. He remembered each one. He remembered how they sat funnily on his tongue. He remembered how alien it sounded in his ears. But Alec had wanted a name. Any name to replace the snap to attention response to 494.

Then one day, after somehow getting caught trying to pick a hot chick's wallet, Alec found his name. He kept it close to him, like an extra piece of bread he stole from the commissary. He shared it with no one. He ran it in his head; his new mantra drowning out the ticking of a stopwatch. 

And then Alec told Logan. The first time Logan said his name, both Alec's stomach twisted. His chest expanded at the same time. 

"I liked it when you call me Alec," Alec whispered.

"...Your name..." Logan slurred.

Alec's smile widened. He kept his voice soft. He gentled his hips rocking forward until they ended up moving languidly, like an afterthought, their legs intertwined, arms braided to rest on Logan's flat stomach. Alec felt Logan sagging, melting, sinking...

"Night, night," Alec whispered. He stilled as he huddled closer. He breathed deep, the air around him whispering _Logan Logan Logan_. Their bodies slotted together, cocooned in the thickest blankets Alec ever had. The room was quiet, the city outside muted in the pre-dawn hours.

A few beats later, Logan began to snore in that wheezy, congested squeak of his, barely audible and only for Alec to hear.

"My name is Alec," Alec murmured.

Logan snuffled and slept on.

Alec's erection was gone by now, but the need to touch every part of Logan stayed. He fidgeted until it felt like even air couldn't come between them. He carefully reached behind to the nightstand and reset the alarm to an hour later. Done, he settled back against Logan.

A beat later...

"...'lec? What cree'y guard?"

"Go back to sleep, Heather."

 

When Original Cindy turned the light on, she stopped. She sighed.

"Original Cindy told you to stop doing that."

Alec wiggled his fingers at her from his perch on the rickety folding chair by her equally as unstable dining table. 

"Howdy." Alec hummed at the sight of the tight red cropped tee that matched her calf high boots. "Dinner date with Lyric?"

"River." Cindy looked smug as she threw her purse at Alec.

Alec caught it neatly. He stared at her aghast. "What? It's only been three weeks since you said you were going to try! You got her switching teams already?"

"Original Cindy didn't steal from your game." Cindy rolled her eyes as she stepped out of her boots."You weren't interested in her."

"I could have!"

Cindy snorted as she padded into her little kitchen.

"What?"

"You're bored of Logan already?"

"What? No! What are you sniffing?" Alec sputtered. "I'm just saying!"

"Uh huh." Cindy reached up. She paused.

"Where's Original Cindy's kettle?" Cindy lifted up the silver plated one. "And where did this fancy hoity-toity tin came from?"

"From the British Embassy," Alec supplied. "They had, like, a thousand of them. Real fancy silver. Like it? They have different sizes."

Cindy folded her arms in front of her.

"You know, when you do that, it makes your boobs—" Alec ducked when the kettle zipped his way.

"Hey! I hung upside a laser grid for twenty two minutes to get that!"

"Why?" Cindy demanded.

Alec retrieved the kettle. Luckily, it was made of sturdy stuff and came through unscathed. He smoothed a palm over its shiny round belly. 

"Well, I uh..." Alec reached up to his neck.

Cindy slapped Alec's hand away. "Don't touch that." She tsked when she checked. "You smeared all of Original Cindy's good work."

Alec laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, you said as long as I didn't sweat on it and stuff..." But Logan's tongue had teased a wet line down Alec's cock a few hours before, taking his damn time. Alec sweated as he fought back the urge to grab Logan by the hair and eagerly fuck that mouth.

"You," Cindy scolded as she went to get her box, "are a dog."

"I didn't say anything!"

"Your stupid face did."

"Shut up. I have a cute face," Alec grumbled as Cindy tipped his head forward. He squirmed; it still felt weird when it was anyone else besides Logan touching his bar code.

"You are nasty, just nasty," Cindy complained. "Every morning was bad enough, but nights, too? Original Cindy wants a raise."

Alec grimaced as Cindy's round tipped brush tapped foundation around the edges. "Hey, Logan's playing superhero with his informant tonight. I gotta be out later to ogle his ass otherwise I wouldn't have bothered you."

"You're _always_ bothering Original Cindy." Cindy dabbed a cotton ball over the lines to lighten them. "And what were you doing that had you sweating through the make up?"

"Um, do you really want me to answer that?" Alec yelped when Cindy tugged his ear sharply from behind. 

"Come on! When you put it _that_ way, my mind goes into the gutter!"

"Get it out of the gutter. Hold still," Cindy grumbled.

"Fine," Alec groused. "It wasn't like I was going to kiss and tell. It would have to be more show and tell beca—all right! Holding still!"

Cindy grumbled but continued with the cover up. 

Alec stared at her tiny kitchen. He noted she took what looked like old plantation shutters and repurposed them as cabinet doors.

"Almost there."

Alec grunted. He twitched when he felt Cindy dab the edges. He twitched again when a delicate hand went around cupping his chin to hold him still.

Light, almost tapping like sensations, danced along the edge of Alec's bar code. He jammed his fists over his knees when they began to jitter. He bit his lower lip when he felt Original Cindy's index finger smoothing down the edges of the new graft.

"Just a few more touches," Cindy murmured. "Hm? Original Cindy's right behind you. We're almost don—"

"Alec," Alec blurted out.

Behind him, Alec sensed Cindy pausing. 

Alec grimaced. He uncurled his fists on his knees.

"Uh..." Alec's hands bunched up again. Behind him, stooped over him like a storm cloud, Cindy was silent.

"My name's really...it's Alec. Okay? Not Dean." Alec squirmed. Maybe he should have waited until _after_ Original Cindy was done.

The silence behind Alec stretched. The air thickened above him. But he stayed put. His knees, however, ached to move.

Then, out of nowhere, a hand swatted up the back of Alec's head.

"Ow!" Alec cringed. His hands flew up towards his aching head, but they were slapped away.

"You'll smear it!"

"I was going to my head not my neck!"

"We didn't hit you that hard."

"It felt like _we_ did!" Alec started to twist around to glare at her. Hands grabbed him by the ears and kept him still.

"Giving me a concussion wasn't enough? Now you want to render me deaf, too?"

"Stop moving!"

"Then stop hitting me!"

"Would you rather Original Cindy kick your ass instead?" Cindy demanded.

Alec's shoulders slumped forward.

Cindy sighed. She dropped a hand over the top of Alec's head.

Alec blinked under the weight of Cindy's hand.

"Should have told you before," Alec mumbled, "But I didn't. It just never came up and stuff, you know?" He cringed inwardly. _Real smooth, Alec._

"Original Cindy already figured it wasn't Dean."

Alec arched an eyebrow. "Since when?"

"Dean Heather?" Cindy drawled. "It sounded like a porn name."

Alec snickered.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'll tell you next time."

"Next time?" Cindy sounded pleased. "So you're sticking around then, huh, _Alec_?"

Alec lifted a shoulder. Cindy chided him by flicking his ear. He muttered darkly but stayed put. He sat there, body taut, ready to spring out of his chair as Cindy did the finishing touches on his bar code.

"Thought Max was going to stick around too," Cindy suddenly said. Her tiny brush stuttered over Alec's skin but continued. "Thought we were tight. A lot of years and then, bam."

"Bam?"

"Came home, Max's stuff was gone. Got a visit at my new job a month later to let Original Cindy know there was still some alive and kicking going on."

Alec stared at Cindy's floor. The brush swept over the edges of his tattoo like a finger. He bit his lower lip.

"Max ever came by to Logan?"

The brush pulled away from Alec's skin.

"Done," Cindy announced. Behind Alec, her tool box clanged loudly shut.

Alec didn't move from his seat. He kept staring and staring at the floor. He noted the cracks in the planks. There were tiny flecks of sky blue paint from someone's past ambitions to pretty up the place. There was a nail bent out of shape between two strips of flooring. He should pry that out later.

"That's fucked up," Alec blurted. "Didn't he warrant goodbye sex at least?"

To Alec's surprise, there was no hand steering for the back of his neck. Cindy only sighed as she went back into her bedroom to put away her tool box. When she emerged, she steered right into the kitchen.

Alec blinked at the sight of a slightly dented bucket full of tea bags, jasmine tea to be precise.

"That's a lot of tea."

Cindy looked down at the bucket as if seeing it for the first time. 

"Guess we forgot and kept getting more." Cindy made a face. "Original Cindy is not a fan of tea."

Alec studied the bucket. He watched Cindy fixed him a cup, in the same mug she used last time he was here and the time before that. Boil, cool, steep, two minutes and the tea bag was fished it. She didn't bother saving it to be reused; she always made a new tea. He tracked her, the mug she held, the tiny green flag that read 'jasmine'. A bubble swelled at the base of his throat.

"It'll take me a while to drink all of that." 

The mug hovered between Cindy and Alec.

"Yeah?" Cindy's mouth twisted. She glanced down at the tea and blew briefly over the mug. She passed it over to him. "It's cool."

Alec wasn't sure if Cindy meant the tea or something else. He accepted the mug with both hands.

Cindy smirked at Alec, her brown eyes bright. She raised her own mug full of sweet smelling sake.

"To Alec."

Alec blinked. His mouth stretched across his face. He lifted his mug and tapped it against Cindy's. 

Together, they took a drink.

"Seriously, I thought you would be more pissed," Alec admitted later.

"Who said we weren't? You're taking over our Hester route this whole week."

" _What_? That street always smells like puke in the morning! Can't I just steal you another kettle?"

 

There was a naked man on a pedestal.

Alec made a face as he righted himself and landed soundlessly on the glacier white marble floor. He squinted, picking out the Grecian study of a discus athlete. It stood on its fancy stone pillar; it looked ready to take flight with its round disc.

" _Okay_." Alec's tongue stuck out. It looked bad upside _and_ right side up. The guy wore a fig leaf over his crotch and looked like a poster boy for Manticore with all its perfectly formed muscles and blank eyes. No accounting for a rich guy's taste. Lesbian orgy vases were way better.

The study Alec dropped into was paneled in rich dark mahogany and littered with chocolate brown leather seats. They surrounded a large wooden desk, turned as if expectantly for the speaker of the House to saunter in and do his spiel. There was a cold hearth in the center of the wall full of the floor to ceiling bookcases. He took a survey and grunted. They were filled with untouched first edition books. A few wouldn't go amiss.

Alec quickly scanned the space even though he knew Jonas Cale and his wife were out to meet their son at their fancy townhouse across town. The Cale heir apparent returned with his wife from a delayed two month long honeymoon. 

There were heavy, expensive statuettes and paintings that decorated gaps between floor to ceiling bookcases. There was even a gold watch, the real deal, left half tucked in a plush armchair, forgotten like an old sock. But it was the computer in the middle of the desk that beckoned. 

Alec wound his rigging and looped it across his shoulders as he approached the desk. He picked up one photo of a younger looking Jonas Cale, standing next to another man with Logan's eyes. He skimmed past the cluster of obligatory family photos, all poised and positioned the exact same way as if they had done this a hundred times before. He paused at one photo that stood in front of the others. It looked more candid; a young teenager stared far away at the bow of a boat, Jonas looking down at him fondly. 

Alec picked up the photo and traced the jaw line he'd kiss this very morning. The distant look was familiar. The absence of frown lines and furrowed brow was not.

Reluctantly, Alec pulled his hand away from the face. He wiped his prints off the photo framed in modest dark wood. There was a dusty outline at the far corner of the desk that matched the shape of the photo. But he set it back with the gold plated frames instead. He gave it one more look before facing his target.

Unlike his nephew, Jonas Cale didn't bother with extra security in his computer. Even though it was the newest German model, it was still vulnerable to little genetically engineered soldiers who learned how to read code before their ABCs. The industrial tycoon relied on the two layers of laser and heat grid systems throughout the house to guard him against attack. All he did to safeguard his computer was turn it off. Jonas Cale did password lock access to the Cale Industries servers, though.

Alec rolled his eyes when he sprinkled talc over the keyboard and the letters _J, O, N, A, S, C, L_ , and _E_ came out in almost iridescent white.

"Seriously?" Alec typed in _JONAS CALE_. Surprise, surprise, the screen blazed into life with the words _Admin Access Granted_. 

Ever aware of the time, Alec did a quick search for the most recently accessed files in its cache. It looked like Uncle Cale periodically checked the financials, a _different_ set of financials than the ones he passed along to his CFO. He reviewed the bank statements and noted the lines of transactions. 

Alec's frown deepened. Whatever Logan feared his uncle was into, it paid well. Holy shit, it paid very well. There were bi-weekly deposits, preceding the reports on sales spikes in the company. The profits were split three ways: Cale Industries, Jonas Cale and a long established trust fund payable to...

"Whoa, Heather," Alec murmured as he traced the funds. Even with the dollar's downturn with the Pulse, the fund was fat with profits from Cale Industries. 

"We could totally book for Canada with this," Alec murmured. His brow knitted as he jumped back to the other documents. The transactions were dummied up, duplicated and paid to slush funds, fake donations to equally fake charities. But all the documents showed were dollars and more dollars. For what?

"You and your secrets," Alec grumbled. The money looked suspicious, sure, but not enough to have riled up Logan. He pursed his lips, thinking. He switched from the Cale Industries bank statements and the trust fund, trust fund to Cale Industries and back. 

"Uncle Jonas has been naughty, but doing what?" Alec murmured. He narrowed his eyes. "Whatever it is, when Big Brother shuts him down, you'll go down with him like a sinking ship. All that money..." He bit his lower lip. His eyes went to each letter, each digit, each line. His finger ghosted Logan's name on the screen. He glanced back at the photo on the desk.

Jaw set, Alec cracked his knuckles and set to work.

 

It was déjà vu.

Alec paused, one leg still outside the gaping window when he spotted the shadow on the other end of the windows. The penthouse was shrouded in darkness; even the computers were dull and dark. This time, there was no gun on Logan's lap. Just a tumbler of what smelled like scotch.

"Thought we weren't going to have any brownouts tonight," Alec remarked as he finished climbing in.

"Thought I would make my own." The glass thumped emptily on the coffee table. "Thought it would help me see better."

"Wow, you're cryptic tonight. Very sexy. Me like." Alec shut the window behind him. "Figured you would be out all night in that dinner you mentioned though. I was going to strip naked and wait for you in bed with that tub of whipped cream..." He blinked when Logan rolled closer.

"Although if I knew you were going to get all decked out in a tux, I would have crashed the party to leer at you." Alec whistled as he stroked the sleek lapel. "Fancy. Bet it hugged your ass like..." Alec stopped. He dropped into the couch. He hooked a foot into the spokes of one of the wheels. Logan let Alec pull him closer.

"That bad, huh?" Alec murmured.

Logan reeked of the heavy stuff, the stuff that poured gold and left its drinkers bleak. His bowtie was undone along with the top two buttons. Alec could see Logan's throat working.

"It wasn't..." Logan cracked a smile that failed to reach his eyes, "as enlightening as I'd hope." He slowly undid his cuffs. "It's been nearly a year. I never showed up for my cousin's wedding. He tried calling a few times later, but at the time, I..." He shrugged. He concentrated hard in slipping out of his tailored jacket. 

Alec slipped his hands into the jacket as Logan pulled it off. He left his hands there, cradling Logan's ribcage, his fingers pressing into brushed smooth linen slipped over a trim torso.

"Then he went on his honeymoon a few months later." Logan's shrug drew his shirt up, slipping it over Alec's palms, sleek as silk. "He called me last week. Tried to guilt me to come out to see him then. I wasn't going to go, but..." The shirt rippled as he shouldered it off.

"But?" Alec prompted as he peeled off the shirt, unwrapping Logan layer after layer.

"Only way I could catch my uncle." Logan paused. A shadow flickered across his drawn face. "He's been avoiding my calls. He's never in the office now. I tried passing a message to him through his business partners, but even they..." He shook his head. "Let's just say the party was a lot more awkward than I expected when I showed up."

Alec pressed his lips together. He kept his eyes on Logan's undershirt instead.

"Is he why you're up at 0400?" Alec asked casually. "Should I be jealous?"

Logan choked. "Far from it." 

Alec knelt between Logan's legs. His right hand snaked around and settled on Logan's back above the scars.

"Not a fun party then, huh?" Alec's other hand pulled at the white undershirt. He smoothed a hand over the shirt and felt Logan's abdomen flex under his touch.

"Pretending the Pulse happened somewhere else; complain bitterly about the freshness of the canapés?" Logan's mouth twisted. He dropped his hands onto Alec's shoulders. 

"I rather stay here but..."

"Your uncle." Alec lifted his shoulders. He left his hands where they were and felt Logan take a deep breath.

"My uncle," Logan said, his voice unsteady. "I may need to do something rash."

Something knotted in Alec's gut. "Ran to Cape Haven rash or my whipped cream idea rash?"

Logan chuckled. It sounded forced.

"Nowhere nearly as fun. Nowhere nearly as many guns." Logan exhaled. He rubbed Alec's shoulders. "But necessary." He nodded to himself. "I'll be okay. I've been careful with what I have. I won't be buying any speedboats or jewelry after, but I won't starve."

_No, you won't_ , Alec thought fiercely. 

"Only jewelry I'm ever interested in are cock rings and maybe a little shiny for your nipples, but other than that." Alec's eyes drifted to Logan's chest. He rolled up Logan's shirt and tossed the worn cotton behind them. 

"Wasn't the jewelry I was thinking of," Logan murmured as he watched Alec draw closer.

"Mm, you should think about it. I think some strategically placed silver on you would be very nice." Alec stopped short of Logan's mouth. He bit back the snicker when he felt Logan's barely suppressed sigh. He made it up to Logan with an almost painful tweak of a nub. He soothed the hurt with a caressing thumb.

Logan pressed into Alec's touch, but after a moment, he sagged back into his chair. 

"Sorry," Logan rasped. He gestured towards himself. "I'm just..." He shook his head and started to straighten up in his chair.

Alec moved a hand to the middle of the other's chest. Logan blinked down at it numbly.

"Easy," Alec murmured. "While I'm always on board for that, we don't have to tonight. All right?"

Logan exhaled. He ran a hand through his hair, leaving wild spikes in its wake. 

Alec reached up and flattened the hair. When he pulled his hands away, he found Logan studying at him. 

"What?"

Logan opened his mouth. It snapped shut. His chest rose and what he said next came out in a whispered flurry.

"Did you still want to fuck me?"

Alec wanted to shout _Hell, yes_. Instead, he sat back on his heels. "What?" he repeated blankly.

Logan rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. His ears didn't pink, but his eyes wouldn't stay on Alec. 

"I know you've wanted to and we now know I can feel...something." Logan appeared unsure where to put his hands. "I thought maybe you—I mean, we..."

Alec scrubbed a hand over his mouth. "Uh, I'll probably kick myself for asking this—trust me, we're cooked up to be flexible enough to do that—but is this really the time to think about, uh, this?"

Logan slumped into his chair. "No, you're right. I don't know what I was—yes, I do. I was looking for a distraction and..." Guilt flickered across his face. "I'm an ass."

"No," Alec teased, "you _have_ a cute ass." He lifted a shoulder. "As much as I would love to keep your mind off crappy parties and awkward family reunions, it doesn't feel like the right time." Suddenly, he groaned.

"I can't believe I turned down sex." Alec dropped his head on Logan's lap. "What the hell, Heather? You've turned me into a monk!"

"I wouldn't go that far." Logan's fingers rested on Alec's head. They danced along Alec's scalp like piano keys. "Are you sure?"

"If you're asking me and not demanding me to fuck you, then it's not the time." Alec tilted his head up. "All right?"

"All right." Logan smiled crookedly. He skimmed the line of Alec's shoulders. "Did you want to crash in the guest room? I'm probably going to wake you again tonight."

Alec lifted his shoulders. "Doesn't bother me." He paused. "Unless you _want_ me to stay in the other room. I could always go back to my latest squat—"

"No." Logan carded a hand through Alec's hair. "Stay. If I wake you, go ahead and smother me with a pillow."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Okie dokie." He leaned in, meeting Logan halfway. The kiss was brief, yet Alec thought he could feel the warmth lingering on his lips as he pulled away. He found himself smiling lopsidedly at Logan. 

"So...Bed?"

Logan appeared as affected by the chaste kiss for whatever reason. He shook himself out of his daze and mutely nodded.

 

Alec stirred when Logan twitched again. Logan muttered Alec's name. This time, he only pulled Logan closer. He sandwiched Logan's feet between his.

"Sh," Alec whispered into the back of Logan's head. He stroked; fingers lightly scratching the sweat matted chest hair, petting the skin stretched over a pounding heart. "Sh, you're dreaming again."

Logan said nothing. He breathed loudly in the dark. He rolled his shoulders, burrowing deeper into the cocoon of the covers.

Alec briskly rubbed Logan's feet with his. Jesus, they were like ice again. He brushed his mouth down the angle of a shoulder blade. He paused at the chilled skin.

"Want me to grab you some socks or a shirt?" Alec offered.

Logan shook his head and grunted softly. He captured Alec's hands over his stomach and pulled them tighter to his belly.

Alec nosed the back of Logan's ear.

"Same dream?"

Logan lay there; his breathing was a ragged in and out sound stabbing the night. 

When Logan finally spoke, his voice sounded like it was dragged over broken glass.

"I failed. Again."

Alec rubbed his nose along the nape. "Failed? What do you mean?"

"Failed them." Logan sucked in his breath. "I should have...if they weren't helping me..."

"Sh." Alec wiggled closer until his chest was flushed to Logan's back. 

"Everything I touch turns to ash," Logan rasped. "And now my uncle...I suspected...I wondered how we could have done so well, better than everybody else, but I didn't want to be a part of it. I should have stayed involved somehow, but I had to stick to my goddamn mor—"

"Hey, hey, sh." Alec wished he was cooked up to know the words. He wished there was a protein strand in his DNA that could prime him to respond. He could feel Logan's heart hammering too fast as if punishing its master. And a cold lump in Alec's gut told him Logan would have welcomed it.

Alec could feel Logan breathe against him. He hummed and took a deep breath, his chest expanding against Logan's body. Gradually, Logan breathed in when Alec did, exhaled when Alec exhaled.

In the dark, in an hour that shouldn't feel this familiar, the two laid breathing together. The silence loosened its vise around them. Logan's harsh breaths slowed and slipped into pace with Alec's finally.

"You didn't fail anyone," Alec murmured after Logan's shaking quieted. " _Eyes Only_ saved people. _Logan Cale_ saved people."

For a moment, Logan was silent, but Alec knew he wasn't asleep. He brushed his nose, his mouth, over the pale line on the nape; left and right in a gentle rhythm. 

"Max." Logan audibly swallowed. "B...Bling. If they hadn't helped me. If only I kept them out—"

"That's on Manticore, not—"

"You," Logan choked out.

Alec stilled. "Me?" He closed his eyes against Logan's nape. "Your dream."

"I couldn't stop them from finding you." Logan gripped Alec's fingers so hard; they creaked. "I failed Bling. I failed Max. I'm going to fail you."

Alec kissed the knob of bone that started Logan's spine.

"You're not going to fail me," Alec murmured. He rolled up his hips so Logan could feel him gliding against him. "We're good together. We're not going to fail."

Logan laughed sadly.

"I wasn't talking about the sex."

Alec nipped the soft lobe of Logan's ear. 

"Me neither."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: at long last, my hard drive has been recovered (sort of) and in a 'new' laptop (kind of). Thank you so much for your patience as I tried to reconcile what parts I wrote by hand during my forced hiatus and what was already typed out. Hoping to post next Tuesday, March 3.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: SEX!
> 
> Okay, more of a promise than warning. LOL

When Logan cracked open his eyes, he started laughing.

Alec pouted as he stood by the side of the bed, tray in both hands.

"Well, that's gratitude," Alec huffed. "I ordered breakfast and stuff with your credit card. And this is the thanks I get?"

"That," Logan managed as he slipped on his glasses, "is a triple pressed silk tie from the _Zegna Bellimo_ pre-Pulse collection. That's over a hundred dollars."

Alec arched his eyebrow at the flimsy scrap of black bowtie neatly tied around his morning erection.

"This thing? It barely wrapped around me!"

"And now you're bragging." 

"Who's bragging?" 

Logan pulled himself up higher against the headboard. He watched the tray like it would jump up and say "Boo". 

"What's this?"

"Made you breakfast in bed." Alec hefted the tray higher with both hands. He gave Logan a modest kowtow. "Pancakes, waffles, eggs, coffee. Hey, that diner even has fresh berries today."

"You...made...breakfast." Logan still eyed the tray warily. 

"Yea, like in those sappy bodice ripping books Sketchy thinks no one knows he's reading." Alec gingerly set the tray on the bed before he sat next to it. He nodded towards himself.

"They didn't have whipped cream today so I thought I would substitute with some other dessert."

Logan sputtered around the toast tip he started nibbling on. "I hate to tell you this, but that," he pointed to Alec's fancied up cock, "does not taste sweet." 

"You know what I mean." Alec untied the bow around his dick. He tossed it over.

"Scarily enough, I do." Logan plucked the discarded tie off his lap. He scoffed when Alec bared jam-stained teeth at him.

"What's the occasion?" Logan contemplated the takeout container of pancakes and scrambled eggs. He looked like he was debating what he was in the mood for; hopefully both. 

"Figured you didn't eat anything in that sucky party of yours and we skipped dinner." Alec wished he didn't say anything when Logan lowered his fork. It looked like he wasn't in the mood for neither. Alec cut into the plate of waffles and swirled it in the fruit dotted syrup. 

"Thought breakfast was in order." Alec held up the fork towards Logan. The other looked at it, his expression deliberately blank.

"I mean," Alec said hastily. He inwardly winced at the plea he heard in his voice. "I slaved over the menu and phone and everything." He kept the fork still even though he wanted to prod it closer to Logan.

"Alec..."

"I got waffles if you want that instead." Alec could see his own knuckles turning white around the fork handle. "Eggs were pretty good. I didn't lick over them or anything."

"Alec—"

"Come on." Alec could feel himself close to shouting. "You gotta be in the mood for something."

Logan's eyes flicked from the fork to Alec.

Alec clamped his mouth shut because he wasn't sure why he wanted to yell at Logan to take the damn fork. Going Section Eight on the guy would be counterproductive.

The lines around Logan's eyes eased a fraction. He smiled crookedly at Alec.

"You're dripping syrup on the bed."

Alec looked numbly at the spots on the bed.

"Oh." Alec lowered the fork.

Logan confiscated the fork out of Alec's hand.

Alec bit back the weird ballooning urge to burst out into a huge grin. He settled back on the bed and took a fork of his own. As he chewed—eggs and waffles made a _great_ sandwich—Logan cleared his throat.

"Thanks." Logan speared more waffle and fruit for another bite. 

Alec hummed as he stabbed his fork through a blueberry as it made a run for the edge of the bed. "No problem. Thank your credit card. It paid for all this."

Logan snorted. "Ah. No, I meant for..." He lowered his fork. "For last night." 

Alec focused on chasing the last round berry in the container. "First time anyone ever thanked me for _not_ having sex with them." He stabbed the fruit, but it ended up crushed into a squishy splat. "Not sure how to feel about that."

Logan chuckled quietly. "Okay, it didn't come out right. I meant for staying, for...everything."

Alec wasn't sure what Logan meant by everything, but he liked the warm blur under Logan's words. They seemed to ripple and burrow under Alec's skin, settling like a blanket wrapped around his insides. He caught himself smiling lopsidedly as he made a forkful of food. He hastily shoved it in his mouth. 

"I needed that."

Alec made a face. "The no sex? Ouch."

Logan gave him a look he normally did over his glasses. Still hot even without the glasses on the nightstand. "No. The staying. Waking up and feeling you here." Logan tapped the back of his fork on Alec's knee. "It was nice."

"Oh, when you woke up and felt me feeling you up? I'll say that was ni—"

"Alec."

Alec gulped back the quip. He took care to pierce each piece of food to recreate the previous bite. It was a good bite. Great, even. It had pancakes. It had eggs. It ha—

Logan's fork tapped Alec's knee again. "I'm serious. Thank you. Last night was...it was a lot easier with you there."

Alec lifted his eyes and caught Logan looking at him, with a small smile Alec never saw before. It was a smile that was not big, not small. It ignited a curl of heat and settled in the pit of his stomach. His skin shivered into what Alec vaguely recognized might be goose pimples.

"Well..." Alec dropped his gaze, unsure how to respond. His ears felt hot. Thinking quickly, Alec raised his laden fork.

"If you want to thank me, try this."

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Okay?" He leaned in and dutifully ate off Alec's fork.

There was the strange desire to climb over and crush his mouth to Logan and lick that ridiculous berry juice off his chin. 

Logan chewed slowly, his eyes focused as if he was staring down his laptop. His brow knitted.

"Uh...what was that?"

Alec beamed. "The perfect bite. I just created it: a bit of waffle, a bit of pancake, some egg, two blueberries, apple butter, grape jelly and dipped in ketchup. Pretty awesome, huh?" He eagerly made another masterpiece. "Want some more?"

Logan coughed. "I'll ah, stick with the waffles." He took the plate off the tray and set it on his lap.

Alec shrugged as he made the next bite, sans waffles. Logan's loss. At least the guy was eating.

 

"I gave you an owl."

Alec grimaced as he watched the detective turn the extra foil packaged gyro around in his hands. He thought he'd save Sung a trip by getting the guy his usual Wednesday gyros. Hell, he even remembered the detective's extra sauce.

Sung was unimpressed by the free food Alec had left for him on his desk though. Then again, maybe he was pissed by the post note Alec stuck _inside_ his food. Sung staked out _Jam Pony_ at the end of Alec's shift, perched by his car, the extra gyro in his hand, a smear of tzatziki sauce on his herringbone tie. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Alec caught Sketchy veering a hard right to avoid them. Sung barely glanced over. Others nodded to Alec as they either headed off to a run or _Crash_. 

Alec climbed off his bike and braced for the incoming tirade. It looked like he was going to miss dinner at Logan's.

"I gave you a gyro," Alec offered in return. "Do you know how hard it was to get that during my lunch hour? They almost ran out of that funny yogurt sauce you like."  
_  
_ "I don't give those owls away; it takes my little girl a long time to make one." 

Alec ran his hand along his ride's handlebars. He studied the dashboard, looking for dirt.

"It's a nice owl," Alec mumbled. "I placed it somewhere real safe, too."

Sung's dark eyebrow rose. "You did?"

Alec mutely nodded. 

Sung's car creaked under the detective as he reached into his back pocket for the yellow square note.

 _"'By the way, the name is really Alec. Oops'_ ," Sung read. He squinted at Alec sitting cross-legged on the roof of another car.

"Oops?" Sung drawled.

Alec gave him a toothy grin. "Um...howdy?" He gestured towards the note. "At least I told you though, right?"

Sung checked the note in his hand. He sighed.

"I suppose." Sung made sure Alec saw him tear up the note into small pieces. He tossed half the confetti into the nearby garbage bin, the other half in the sewer grate under them. 

Alec eyed the grate to make sure all of the pieces were being washed out to sea.

"Thank you for telling me," Sung said quietly.

Alec blinked. People were grateful for the weirdest things.

"Uh sure," Alec said slowly. "Whatever." He shrugged. "I mean, you got me my bike." He thought of the hard case pressed up against his back from inside the messenger bag. "And the owl." 

Sung scoffed. He scratched his jaw. He squinted at Alec.

Alec sat up straighter. 

"What?"

"Logan asked me to keep an eye out for any new military bulletins," Sung said. His dark eyes darted around them before return to Alec. "Any reason why?"

Alec picked the unraveling thread on his jeans. He waved listlessly towards his neck.

"Ah."

Alec's eyebrows rose. 

"I only know of one other person who can free climb five stories, jump down a ten foot drop and wore a bar code like that." Sung pursed his lips.

"I assume Logan knows?"

"Well, _duh_."

Sung snorted. After a beat, he nodded. "Okay."

Alec narrowed his gaze. The detective stared back blandly. "That's it? Just 'okay'?"

Sung arched an eyebrow towards him.

Alec shook his head. "Man, you and Original Cindy. You two—"

"Wait, _she_ knows?" Sung stood up straighter against his car. He scowled. "You told her before me?"

Alec furrowed his brow. "Uh. Yeah?"

Sung squinted at him and there was that spark of reaction Alec expected Sung to have in the first place. He gave Alec the stink eye. "I gave you an owl."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Seriously?" He gestured to _Jam Pony_ behind him. "Dude, it's Original Cindy."

Behind them, Herbal yelped, Original Cindy's voice loud enough to cow Normal's bellow about no fighting on premises. A stray threat about someone's balls and satay floated out and abruptly, even Normal's voice muted.

Sung suddenly smirked and just like that, the angry expression smoothed away. 

Alec blinked. He curled and uncurled his fist. "So that's it?"

Sung lifted his shoulders again. Alec scowled. Sung wasn't sticking to the script in Alec's head; he wasted a good hour trying to figure out how Sung would react.

"Sorry," Sung drawled when Alec told him how irritating that was. He raised the wrapped gyro in his hands. "You did get me lunch." He glared at Alec without any heat, "And broke into my desk to do it." _Again_ was left unspoken above their heads.

"You weren't in." Alec gave Sung a cheeky grin. "And figured your food might get cold so I stuck it in your desk. Before someone tries to steal it." He sobered. "And I figured I owed you lunch or something because, you know…" 

Sung's mouth twitched up at a corner. "The owl."

Alec scratched the side of his jaw. "And Logan." At Sung's eyebrow, he added, "For watching his six and stuff."

"Funny," Sung said quietly, "I should be thanking _you_ that." The detective considered Alec. 

"What?" Alec asked warily. Maybe he should have splurged for the extra tomatoes for the gyros, after all.

A large hand unwound out of Sung's pockets and towards Alec.

"Matthew Sung."

Alec stared at the offered hand. Slowly, he reached over and clasped the detective's hand. Sung's handshake was firm.

"Alec."

"Alec…?" Sung trailed off, waiting.

Alec shrugged. "That's all I got. Sorry, man."

Sung grunted as he pulled his hand away. "If it's good enough for you; it's good enough for me." 

Alec caught himself before he reached up for the back of his neck. He shoved his hands in his pockets instead.

"So, ah," Alec said, "We're good?"

"We're good." Sung lifted up the gyro. "Thanks for lunch."

"No problem."

"Next time though, stop breaking into my desk."

"Now where's the fun in that?"

 

The bruise was turning purple.

Alec scowled at it. That was new. It wasn't there when he came back from meeting Sung. It wasn't there last night when Alec kissed his way down from Logan's throat to that silky patch of skin above Logan's pelvis.

The mottled stain on Logan's lower back peeked out from under the gray sweats. The top rose as Logan reached up to set the plates in the sink. What looked like what used to be a very tasty tri-color pasta dinner had gone into the garbage bin. The dishes rattled when they landed in the sink.

"Sorry I missed dinner again," Alec murmured as he rearranged his pack left under his window. A couple of watches from misbehaving citizens had slid to the bottom. The photos Sweeper took of Logan at the Cale mansion today were crumpled underneath his haul. He made a face when the fridge creaked when Logan pulled the door too hard.

"I was going to ask how your day was, but never mind."

"Long." Logan was curt, but when he glanced over, his mouth crooked to a small smile. "You're here late. I saved you some pasta if you're hungry."

"Awesome. Maybe later." Alec shook his backpack. "Needed to go out pillaging the city's scumbags of their ill-gotten gains. Gotta keep contributing to my retirement fund. AWOL robots don't get 401Ks." 

"You didn't feel like a robot last night," Logan remarked, almost absentmindedly as he squinted into the fridge. 

"Aw, Heather, you say the sweetest things."

Logan scoffed as he reached into the fridge and poke around things. He swore under his breath.

"What?" Alec scowled into his pack. One of the watches scratched the owl's hard carrying case. He fished it out and turned it around to examine it.

"I forgot to make dessert." Logan sighed. "Sorry."

"Hell, you're the only dessert I ever want," Alec muttered as he swept a hand over the case. The thick platinum band sliced right through the leather. Damn it.

"What?"

Alec lifted his eyes. For some reason, Logan stared at him, his ears pink.

"What's up?" Alec asked, brow knitting.

Logan roused out of whatever weird shock he was in. "N-nothing. I—What's that?"

Alec made a face as he held up the carrying case. He popped the cover to reveal the lopsided looking purple owl.

"That watch from 49 Center scratched up the case." Alec ran a finger down the scratch. "Why do people wear thick band watches anyway? Damn thing was heavy."

"Maybe they're compensating for something." Logan wheeled over to the couch. 

"Hell, considering the sizes of those jock straps, I'll say. What?" Alec grinned cheekily at Logan. "Most people hide valuables in their underwear drawer." He shuddered. 

"It's a dirty job, but someone gotta do it."

Logan snorted. He took the hard case and ran a hand over the surface. He opened the case to check inside. He grimaced.

Alec stared at the owl in Logan's grasp. He bit down the urge to grab for it. "That bad, huh?"

"If you're not too worried about getting water into it, it'll still be good enough." Logan handed it back to Alec. "But another crack like that and the case is no good." 

Alec smoothed a hand over the case. "Crap."

"It was never meant for long term duty. Just to make an expensive watch look more expensive." Logan studied Alec. "Sorry."

Alec shrugged as he readjusted the owl in its case. A little water wouldn't hurt it. Then again, the glazing wasn't completely baked. The purple had faded when he tried to clean it once and one of its painted eyes looked less crazed each week.

Logan cleared his throat.

"You..." Logan absently rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. "You could keep it here. I mean, in the guest room. There are a few shelves and drawers you could store it in. If you want."

Alec's eyes slid over to Logan. The other was suddenly fascinated with whatever was out the window.

"It's only a cheap piece of clay." Alec turned the figurine so its tiny beak was cushioned. "That detective pal of yours gave it to me." He snapped the case shut. "As a joke probably."

"Doubtful." Logan stared at the case Alec tossed it from his left hand to his right and back.

Alec stopped when he heard the little guy rattle inside. Maybe he should wrap it with something so it'll stay snug. "I never even saw an owl before. I don't think this is anatomically correct anyway."

Logan said nothing.

Alec poked the case. The figurine rattled inside again.

"Takes up a lot of space in my bag though," Alec said finally. He passed it over to Logan. Logan accepted it with both hands. "Throws me off balance. You know. When I..." He thumbs towards the coil of rigging under the window. 

"That's inconvenient." Logan opened the case. He looked inside, his face blank. 

"Damn right." Alec scowled at the crazed looking bird. "Balance is very important in doing high rise jobs. I could go splat."

"Going splat would be bad," Logan agreed solemnly.

Alec leaned into Logan's space, his arms snaking around the trim middle. Logan's wheelchair rolled closer until it struck the couch. Alec smoothed down hands to the other's knees. He detached the footrests and slipped a knee in-between Logan's.

"It would suck if I go splat." Alec ran a careful knuckle down Logan's back. Logan's spine curved along its touch. 

"I would prefer if you don't." Logan shut the case and skimmed it under Alec's chin.

"Maybe I should keep it here for you," Logan murmured. "Wouldn't want you to go splat."

Alec shrugged. He traced Logan's lips with his thumb.

"If you want." Alec dropped a kiss at the corner of Logan's mouth. 

Logan's mouth parted as he sealed it over Alec's. Their tongues batted each other before curling around in a perfect fit.

Alec carded a hand through Logan's hair. He froze when he felt the lump.

Logan stilled against Alec.

Alec inhaled slowly.

"Exactly how long a day was it?" Alec said evenly. Sweeper said Logan was in and out of the mansion in under two hours and went straight home. 

"Morning meeting then back here." Logan didn't pull away when Alec leaned even closer.

"Funny," Alec said evenly, "Doesn't sound like too long of a day." His hands cradled the back of Logan's head, fingers searching. It was a small lump. Logan didn't flinch. 

When Alec palmed the bruise down Logan's back though, the other hissed.

Logan nudged Alec back. He wordlessly straightened his shirt.

"Fell off the exercise platform during my PT," Logan said casually. "I was preoccupied. Should have been more careful."

Alec ignored Logan's warning look as he tugged up Logan's top. He muttered under his breath as he made out the faint impression of Logan's front wheel on his lower ribs.

"Did you lose consciousness?" Alec pressed Logan's lower belly, his sternum. The flesh rebounded warm, but not too warm, firm but not rigid. 

Alec sagged back into the couch. He eyed Logan.

"Preoccupied?" Alec repeated. "Like 'gee I wish Alec was here so we could rumple up the sheets again' preoccupied or 'I wonder what Alec's dick would taste like with peanut butter smeared over it' preoccupied?" At Logan's frown, Alec raised his hands.

"None of my goddamn business preoccupied. Gotcha."

Guilt flitted over Logan's face. He reached over and rubbed the top of Alec's knee.

"Sorry," Logan said lamely. "I just...Sorry..."

"Couldn't you just tell me?" Alec hated the plea he heard creeping up his voice. "Seriously, if _Eyes Only_ needs something, I could—"

"No," Logan said sharply. He deflated at Alec's look. 

"It...It was an _Eyes Only_ thing, but now, it's starting to become a Logan Cale thing." Logan's mouth twisted. "It's a little humiliating." 

"What? The perfect and moral-abiding Logan Cale has a skeleton in his closet? Big deal. So you're not perfect." Alec lightly punched Logan on the shoulder. "Don't worry; I think you're still pretty."

The corner of Logan's mouth quirked. "I'm not a saint, Alec."

" _Nooo_ , what your mouth did last night was all sin, babe."

Logan chuckled sadly. "No, I meant..." He scrubbed a hand over his face. When he pulled his hand away, he looked wearier. 

"I'm not doing the right thing. I keep thinking there's a way to fix this. I..." Logan dropped back deeper into his chair. He seemed smaller in his chair all of the sudden.

"I used to think everything was black and white. Bad guys go to jail. Criminals get punished. End of story." Logan smiled thinly at Alec.

"I've been finding myself swimming in a lot of gray lately."

Alec toed the carpet. "Guess me robbing the rich, spending until I'm poor doesn't help, huh?"

"I started thinking in gray long before you, Alec." Logan rubbed his forehead. "I only liked to _think_ I deal in black and white."

"I'm very good dancing in the gray," Alec murmured. He ran a finger down the tread of one wheel. There was a cut in the thick tire. He dug his finger into the gash to make sure it wasn't too deep. 

"I need to deal with this myself." Logan gently pulled Alec's hand away from the wheel. "Careful. You'll hurt yourself."

Alec stared at the tire. "I heal."

Logan squeezed Alec's captured hand. "But you'll still hurt first. Not worth it."

Alec met Logan's bleak eyes. "We're not talking about the chair."

Logan didn't blink. "I know."

"And you know no matter how careful you are, if they want to get me, they will."

Lines tightened at the corners of Logan's eyes. "They won't."

Alec snorted.

Logan's grip became almost painful. "They _won't_ , Alec."

Lost for words, Alec nodded. He shook his head.

"We're not talking about me."

"Yes, we are."

"Your uncle has nothing to do with Man—"

Logan's hand pulled back. "My uncle?" His voice sharpened. "What do you know about my uncle?" He leaned forward. "Alec?"

Alec lifted his shoulders. He schooled his face to a blank expression, but Logan had years of experience of _Eyes Only_ bred paranoia. His mouth thinned; he wasn't fooled.

"Alec..."

"You were talking about him," Alec muttered. He stared back at Logan, taking care his eyes didn't slide to either direction. He made sure not to stare directly at Logan either. When Alec deemed it was long enough to be convincing, he glanced away, pointedly to the bedroom. "Whenever you woke up. You never say much. Just bits here and there."

Logan studied Alec for a long moment. The terseness around his mouth eased and he relaxed. 

A pang struck Alec in the chest. He picked at Logan’s pants. 

"You could tell me more though." Alec smoothed his palms up Logan's thighs. Not too long ago, Logan would have flinched from the sight. Nowadays, Logan dropped his hands over Alec's instead. Not to stop him, maybe to feel what Alec felt.

"I could. I just…can't."

"No," Alec said darkly, "not can't."

"No," Logan agreed tiredly. "I _shouldn't_."

Alec narrowed his eyes towards Logan. "Look, I can take care—"

"Can we not talk about this?" Logan pinched the bridge of his nose. The smudges under his eyes stood out on his pale, stubble face. His shoulders sagged. "Please? Can we—not tonight. Not…"

Alec deflated.

"Sure." Alec palmed the small of Logan's back. He could feel the stiffness stretched too tightly above Logan's pelvis. "Not tonight." His mouth twisted into a thin grimace. 

"Back bothering you?"

Logan made a face. "I have a funny feeling it will later."

"Next time," Alec murmured, "I want to be here when you do your PT. All right?" He felt the muscles running down Logan's back tensed. He leaned in and nipped the corner of Logan's mouth.

"Nothing to see," Logan muttered.

"All that grunting and groaning and sweating? Very hot." Alec pressed fingers parallel to the line of Logan's back, past the scars Logan couldn't feel and Alec wouldn't see.

"Every time…" Alec's fingers dug deep into overheated flesh. Muscles quivered as blood was coaxed to flow.

"Every time?" Logan rested his head unto Alec's shoulder. He inhaled unsteadily. "Every time what?"

Alec leaned in, his hands still massaging, gripping, holding. His mouth skimmed the curve of Logan's ear. 

"Every time I see you here, working out, that body moving, those arms…" Alec growled. He nipped Logan's ear. "Wanted to pull you down, have you right there, get you sweating for a totally different reason."

Logan's hands wrapped around Alec's biceps; he squeezed them before trailing down to sweep palms over Alec's chest. Sure fingers found their target; he captured a nipple under Alec's shirt.

Alec groaned. He arched into Logan's hand. His shirt rubbed against the hardening nub. Logan rolled the nipple between his fingers, letting his touch and the shirt's texture ignite sparks under Alec's skin.

"What stopped you?" Logan whispered as he leaned in closer to torture the other nipple. He dropped a kiss on Alec's temples. 

"Wanted to…" Alec bit back a whimper when Logan stopped in order to brush his hands lower towards Alec's groin.

"Wanted to what?" The top button on Alec's jeans popped open. Warm fingers slipped into the constricting confines. A wave of heat skimmed over Alec's skin.

"Wanted to watch," Alec gasped as Logan pulled him out. "Wanted to watch you." He greedily nipped and licked down the strong neck. He whimpered when Logan began to leisurely pull his exposed cock.

"I like watching you," Logan murmured as he adjusted his grip. "Especially when you let me touch you like this." Alec stood on his knees, between his legs, trembling because it felt like Logan reached deep into his gut and jerked everything out. His skin shrank down to Logan's almost painfully tight fist. 

The wheelchair creaked. Alec's hips snapped forward into Logan's grip, fucking that perfect hand with its calluses and warm skin. Alec gripped the top of one wheel to ensure the brakes didn't snap off. His left thigh ached vaguely because he kept banging into the footrest he had turned away.

Logan murmured Alec's name. He looked flushed; sounded breathless. He moaned under his breath, hunching closer to Alec's other hand currently palming and torturing his nipples.

Beyond the roaring in Alec's ears, Alec thought he heard himself talking over Logan's soft, half awed whispering and promising. He heard himself tell Logan how much he wanted to yank Logan to the ground; come all over his chest and smear it all over Logan's trim body. He heard himself tell Logan how he wanted to drive deep into the other's body; with his fingers, his tongue, his cock. It didn't matter to Alec. He wanted to feel every delicious part of Logan; any way he can. He wanted to taste Logan; every chance they have. He wanted to stay with Logan; any way possible. He wanted…he wanted Logan. Now. Here. Everywhere.

Alec thought he heard himself promising; answer each whispered promise with a promise of his own. 

A sliver of ice stabbed Alec in the chest. What the hell was he doing? What the hell was he saying? But then Logan shuddered under Alec's hand. A small dark stain spotted his pants.

Alec growled. He moved on to the other nipple. He tugged at the sweats, pulling Logan closer to him. 

Logan's hands curled tighter on Alec's shoulders to keep from falling.

Alec yanked the pants down by the waistband. They caught briefly under Logan and the chair. Another hard yank that nearly unseated Logan freed the thin material. Wash worn material tangled around Logan's knees. 

Logan was left in his boxer briefs in his chair as Alec tugged and peeled every bit of clothing he could without dragging Logan off the chair. He continued to lick and bite all over Logan's heaving chest even as he unwrapped Logan.

Alec could still hear himself promising; he wanted to do this to Logan every day. He wanted to do this to Logan and no one else. Just Logan. Only Logan. 

Logan's head dropped back as Alec licked a line from his Adam's apple down to his sternum.

"Only you," Logan managed. He gasped when Alec slipped his hands under him and yanked him closer to the edge of his seat.

"No one else," Alec growled as he laved Logan's belly button. He shoved his hand down his own jeans and brought his cock back to a weeping hardness with a few impatient tugs. He groaned as he spilled all over his fingers.

Logan groaned as well when that soaked hand slipped back under him, damp fingers probing.

"No one else can do this to you," Alec whispered as he slipped the first finger all the way in, past the body's natural resistance, past stiff spastic muscles. 

Logan sagged into Alec. He whimpered as Alec stroked him inside.

"Two? Three? Only me." Alec breached Logan with two fingers now. He was careful, his hand wasn't slicked up enough for this, but he moved with enough roughness in Logan so the other could feel it.

Logan's forehead dropped forward unto Alec's shoulder. His legs were folded awkwardly between them. His upper body jerked as Alec thrust deeper into his body.

"Only me. All night. Who else can make you come three times? Four?" Alec didn't give Logan a chance to answer; he smashed his mouth over Logan's moans. He invaded that mouth with a demanding tongue, greedy hands, his cock grinding up along the inside of Logan's thigh. The friction of torn cotton, the smoothness of Logan's skin, the heat of that fuckable mouth; Alec needed more.

Logan keened into Alec's mouth when another finger joined in, filling him up. Muscles weakly clenched. Logan's breath shortened. His fingers dug painfully into Alec's muscled back as he rode Alec's fingers.

It still wasn't enough.

With a growl, Alec surged up to Logan's mouth. Only Logan tried to do the same. 

Their mouths collided with a hard clack of teeth. 

Logan jerked, Alec yelped. It wasn't clear who grabbed whom first but suddenly the wheelchair tipped forward, the brakes popping with the strain and Alec barely caught Logan in time before they went tumbling onto the carpet at the foot of the couch.

Alec stared up at the ceiling, Logan breathing hard on top of him and shit, he's just discovered a new kink because he never liked anyone on top of him before and here was Logan, surprisingly heavy, solid and panting by his ear and Alec's erection threatening to tear through his jeans.

Eyes met. Alec grinned crookedly.

"Oops?"

Logan huffed a laugh. He dropped his red face onto Alec's shoulder. He was a pleasant vibration against the length of Alec's body. He yelped when Alec rolled them, one hand cradling the back of his head.

"Sorry." Alec checked his hand for blood before his gaze greedily ate up the sight of Logan sprawled out on the carpet. He sucked in his breath. 

"You don't know how long I wanted to see you like this." Alec stretched, tugging his t-shirt off. He straddled Logan, his knees bracketing Logan's hips.

Logan's eyes widened when they drifted to Alec's straining crotch. 

"Again?" Logan looked vaguely freaked out. But his hand still wandered up to Alec's cock.

Unabashed, Alec shoved his denim and briefs lower until his cock sprang free. Alec wanted to touch but knew it would be over too quickly if he did.

"Ever since I saw you by the window," Alec murmured as he slipped hands under Logan's shoulders. "I couldn't stop thinking about you down here on the carpet..."

Alec pressed open-mouthed kisses to the skin. He swirled his tongue into Logan's belly button (he was an innie, fuck, how was that a turn on?), he nipped and tugged on the still erect nipples, he growled into the line of Logan's throat. 

Alec groaned his approval when Logan wrapped fingers around the swollen length again.

The touch snapped Alec's hips forward and he humped hard into Logan, pinning his dick and Logan's hand between their bodies. Logan stared up at him with wide eyes before they slipped half-mast.

Fingers curled, tightened and began to pull.

Alec whimpered against Logan's jaw as he fucked Logan's fist. His ass clenched, his balls shrinking back against him. Damn it, not yet.

Logan's shoulders bunched under Alec's touch. His quickening breath blew against Alec's temple as Alec returned his attentions to Logan's interesting clavicle. His tongue trailed the line of Logan's jugular, feeling the rapid pace. 

The fist around Alec was a steady grip, set in a pace that was both cruel and pleasurable. Alec ground his cock with Logan's fist into Logan's stomach. Pre-come left slick trails on taut muscles.

Logan's hand slipped off to clutch Alec's shoulders when Alec wiggled higher, his cock now gliding and grinding along the length of his torso, brushing against the straining nipples. 

Alec knew he was humping Logan's chest. He fought against putting all his weight on the other. Crisp chest hair tickled along his overheated cock. It was a sensation Alec knew he'll never forget; tiny pinpricks on his dick, hot and cold on skin that suddenly felt too thin, too stretched out, too full...

"Alec," Logan breathed, saying his name the way no one else could.

Alec shuddered and came hard. Long jets coated their bodies. Logan jerked underneath him, his fingers digging into Alec's hips. 

"Shit." Alec collapsed onto Logan's sticky chest. "Shit. Sorry. Misfire. Whoa. I shot off too early." His head reeled.

Logan soothed a hand over Alec's shoulder. "It's fine."

Alec shook his head. "No, you don't get it. I never misfired. Never. Hell, they made sure their good little soldiers learn not to run before the starting bell the moment our balls dropped." He propped himself a bit off of Logan with his elbows. He could feel Logan's bulge against him, already fading. Alec grimaced.

"Sorry."

Logan stared up at him, a swirl of unidentifiable emotions in his eyes. His face crumpled, just a little and while Alec was sure Logan wasn't going to cry, it looked like a close thing.

Hands looped around the back of his shoulders and pulled him down to Logan's chest.

"Gross," Alec whined. He rubbed his chin on the sticky mess though. _I did that_ , he thought and whoops, his cock started to salute him again.

Alec was pretty sure being ready for round three ( _and four! And six!_ ) would bum Logan out; especially since it looked like Logan never got to the second round. He wiggled, rubbing their chests together as he spoke into Logan's throat because Logan was still hugging him like a teddy bear—what the hell?

"Geez, Heather, never figured you for a cuddler or have such blatant disregard for cleanliness because this stuff is gonna get dried fast and then we'll be stuck together and you know how hard it is to get X-5 spunk off you? Like, you better have a—"

Logan sighed into his hair. "Shut up." 

Alec clamped his mouth shut. Fine. Logan Cale is a cuddler. _Eyes_ Only needed to do a hack on it. 

Logan's hands rubbed between Alec's shoulders. Alec's eyes dragged lower.

"Never again," Logan whispered thickly. "Never again, Alec. I won't let that happen." 

Logan swallowed and Alec lifted against the other's chest. He frowned, his cheek idly rubbing on Logan's damp chest. 

"I'm okay," Alec murmured because it felt like something he should say to whatever Logan was thinking. "I'm good."

A long sigh upset the top of Alec's hair. "You don't know what I'm talking about."

Alec shrugged.

"Doesn't matter." Logan's hands felt like they were lightly scratching up Alec's back. Alec hummed. He arched into the sensation. 

"That's nice," Alec mumbled. He laved a spot between Logan's pecs. The other tasted bitter, salty, sweet, Logan. He tasted like Logan: warm, breathing, alive, supple under Alec. 

Alec lapped up the white streaks that painted Logan's trim form. He tasted sweat in the shallow furrows of Logan's ribs. He tasted something deep, spicy and almost smooth on Logan's stomach; especially when the other sucked in his breath.

"You taste nice too." Alec ran his teeth over a peaked nub, straining hard and pink in a dark, rosy circle. He suckled, hard enough he needed to shift his weight over to keep Logan from arching up. He tasted the vibrations of Logan's mewl on his throat. He bit down on a spot on Logan's neck and felt the other sob with need. His hands slipped underneath Logan then began to wander.

There must have been some sort of vague sensation because Logan tensed when Alec's hands idly cradled his soft cock.

"Alec?"

"I want to taste you," Alec murmured. "All of you." He gave Logan's cock a careful squeeze. It sluggishly twitched.

"It's okay," Alec murmured when Logan's arms slackened around him. 

"Alec..." Logan's throat worked. His voice wobbled.

"It's all right," Alec kissed the bobbing Adam's apple as he slid lower.

"I..." Logan's hands clawed the carpet under him. "Alec, I don't think I can."

Alec kissed the center of his chest before stretching up to Logan's mouth to give him a taste.

Logan's breath stuttered and taking advantage, Alec crawled down to Logan's legs. He gingerly unrolled the pants tangled tightly around Logan's calves. He nudged the legs straight to stretch out comfortably.

Alec sat up, straddling Logan's hips. He gazed down at the lax cock in the dark nest of curls. A surge of emotion filled his chest when he glanced up and saw Logan's bleak eyes.

"Look at me," Alec whispered. "Just me, okay?" When green eyes shifted to his face, Alec slowly lowered his head. He nuzzled Logan's cock against his cheek. It twitched but he knew Logan couldn't feel it. Alec locked gazes with Logan as he parted his mouth and coax the cock inside.

It was strange to feel the limp cock, soft and almost fragile feeling in Alec's mouth. Usually the cocks Alec tolerated in his mouth were hard, already leaking, twitching. Thank God Alec lost his gag reflex ages ago in an undercover mission in Belize. Most johns were too eager to blow their load to let Alec give them their money's worth.

Pursing his lips, Alec worked them along the length. The flat of his tongue pushed the cock to the roof of his mouth. He slipped a thumb to its base, at the junction when he could feel the vein sluggishly pumping blood. He pressed harder, digging his thumb into the vein, pushing that pulsing beat into his mouth, into the captured cock.

The cock filled.

Alec kept his eyes on Logan as he hollowed out his cheeks. He suckled until he could feel the length hardening, aided by his thumb pressed firmly on the pulse point, herding blood deeper into the cock in his mouth.

Above him, Logan's stomach flexed, muscles bunched along his obliques. 

Wet, obscene sounds filled Alec's ears as he sucked. He could feel Logan's gaze boring through him. He widened his jaw and relaxed his throat further. His mouth stretched around the cock as Logan sank deeper. 

A broken "Alec" floated down to him. 

His jaw ached vaguely as he worked throat and tongue along the length. Two other fingers joined his thumb, ringing the base, pinching and massaging deeper by the vein.

The cock never fully hardened in his mouth, but Alec could feel himself responding all the same. The heaviness between his legs was agonizing. He didn't touch himself though. He kept one hand petting the clenching muscles of Logan's abdomen, the other applying pressure points to hopefully send enough of a signal to Logan.

It seemed to be working. He could see the flush crept up Logan's cheeks. Overblown emerald eyes were glued to Alec, his head an awkward angle. Alec wished he thought of grabbing the fleece blanket that was rolled up in the wheelchair and tuck it behind his head. 

Logan's hands flailed a bit, no longer clutching the carpet, now unsure where to go. One hand landed on top of Alec's on his stomach. He didn't intertwine them, but his fingers fell into the gaps Alec's splayed fingers made and they stayed there.

The other hand drifted to the top of Alec's head. 

The weight of Logan's hand on his head, curled lightly, careful yet loose made Alec's eyes burn for some reason. He hummed around the cock in his mouth, lightly scraping up and down the length with his teeth. He felt it quiver.

Alec tore his eyes away as he picked up the pace. His head bobbed up and down, taking Logan's cock even deeper. His own cock bobbed frantically against his stomach, leaking with neglect. 

When Alec felt the trembling underneath Logan's skin, the cock jerking, Alec pressed down on the base of the cock again with his thumb. When it grew semi-erect, Alec pulled his fingers away, smeared pre-come on them and abruptly breached Logan with them.

Logan sounded shocked when he cried out, his head rocking back, his shoulders stuttering helplessly. Alec continued his dual attacks: his jaw aching as he worked as much pressure around the cock and his fingers lancing across Logan's prostate without relent.

Alec's eyes slid shut as he relished the sensations: the fullness in his mouth, the warm clutch around his fingers, Logan's needy cries in his ears.

Logan's hands carded through Alec's head, never pushing him into his groin, but not pulling him away either. They almost danced on the back of Alec's head, fingers lingering, touching as if to check Alec was really here.

The touch ignited something deep n Alec's chest. A wave of—he wasn't sure what it was, but it told Alec that this, this would happen again for Logan. Logan would never doubt again. Logan would always know he was wanted.

Because Alec wanted. Fuck, he _wanted_ , maybe even needed if he allowed himself to dwell on it instead of coaxing Logan closer to the edge of a fire he could feel banking in his own gut, swelling, almost suffocating…

Alec groaned around Logan's cock as he came again, untouched, spilling over Logan's legs. Alec sucked harder, his fingers darting in deeper until he heard Logan's broken scream.

A weak stream wept out of Logan's dick which Alec slurped and gobbled greedily. He knew he was loud, louder than necessary. He let the cock slip out of his mouth, but moved his hand to it, furiously pumping and squeezing to milk Logan dry. His other hand slipped out of Logan to smear possessively on the slick come that coated the other's bare flank.

Before Logan could glance down at himself, Alec surged up. He crashed his mouth against Logan's slightly agape one, tongue darting, demanding Logan to taste himself in Alec.

"That was you," Alec said, almost snarling. He crushed his mouth to Logan's again. His tongue darted in, tastes mingling.

Between them, Logan's erection was gone but Alec's hands were slick with the remains. He clasped Logan's hand with his and caught Logan's eyes widening when he pressed both their hands on Alec's returning hard on.

"Feel that?" Alec whispered as he caught one tender ear lobe. He bit hard. Logan started. "That was becauseof you."

Alec didn't wait for a reply. He felt Logan shudder and that was good enough for him. With strokes hard enough to grind Logan across the carpet, Alec clamped their combined grasps on Alec's cock.

This time, it wasn't clear who came first.

 

Alec felt Logan stir against him. They were still on the carpet because somehow, Alec had kicked Logan's wheelchair away. Whoops. While Alec was raring to go for another round, poor Logan fell asleep on him. 

It would have been insulting if Alec hadn't felt so god damn smug.

Alec's right arm was growing numb. Even engineered DNA couldn't protect him from getting the circulation squashed out of you because there was a Logan-sized weight on it. Alec had slipped it under Logan's lower back when he caught Logan grimacing in his sleep. Okay, so Alec was watching, but hey, he wanted to see if Logan was awake for another go!

With his other less numb hand, Alec smoothed back the nest of bangs Logan never seemed to bother to trim. He traced the bow of Logan's lips, still swollen because kissing him was surprisingly as fun, if not more, than the hand job. Logan always tasted like coffee whenever Alec kissed him.

Alec did a perfunctory exam while Logan slept, checking to make sure nothing hurt because Logan wouldn't feel it. Even if he did, Alec suspected he wouldn't have complained about it either.

Logan's cock was red on some spots but no skin was broken. Alec felt the start of a rug burn on Logan's right butt check that Alec almost felt glad Logan couldn't feel it. Scattered bruises, _way_ too many hickies (when did Alec give him one _there_?) and the gummy, crusty streaks of dried cum were all that was left.

Alec caught himself grinning stupidly at Logan's bed (carpet?) head. 

Logan mumbled something, whatever dream he was having still clinging to him. His eyes peeled open, drifted lazily to consider his surroundings. His upper body fidgeted as his eyes wandered over to Alec.

Tentatively, Logan smiled.

Alec grinned lopsidedly back. He tapped Logan's chin with a finger.

"I think someone needs a shower," Alec teased. He looked down on himself and grimaced. "Or a hose down."

Logan made a face as well as he felt his own chest. 

"I suppose a shower is in order." Logan struggled up on his elbows. "And bed." He scowled at the carpet. "This is not as comfortable as it looked. I had it installed in case I ever fell." He shrugged, suddenly discomfited. "Wheelchairs and hardwood floors don't mix very well."

Alec studied the carpet, seeing it for the first time. He could feel the long fibers giving under him. It was plush. It was thick. It wasn't enough to cushion Logan if disaster strikes.

"I would catch you," Alec said, his eyes on the carpet, "Before you fall." He smoothed his palm across the thick weave. When he looked up, Alec caught Logan staring for some reason. "What? I mean, you don't want to land on this. God knows what gunk is on this thing."

Logan shook out of his shock. He glanced down at his come smeared chest. He lifted his eyes up towards Alec.

"Gunk?" Logan asked archly. At Alec's smirk, Logan rolled his eyes, but failed to hide his grin. He considered himself with a rueful look.

"A shower would be good."

The idea Logan went one way and Alec the other suddenly felt like a sour aftertaste in the back of his mouth.

Alec cleared his throat.

"We could…" Alec slid a thumb down a white streak that trailed Logan's obliques. He coughed. There was an inexplicable lump in his throat.

"We could shower together."

Logan's smile faded. He laughed strangely as he sat up higher, using the back of the couch for support. 

"That might be hard since I, ah, shower sitting down." Logan waved towards his legs. He shrugged, but failed to look nonchalant. 

Alec remained kneeling in front of Logan. He cupped the side of Logan's knee.

"You got a big shower," Alec murmured. He ducked his head to peer up to Logan's eyes. "Don't worry. Your bony knees and elbows can't really hurt me."

Logan scoffed, but his eyes remained downcast. He lifted them up to Alec. Green eyes searched Alec's face. What, Alec didn't know, but he held still, he didn't look away, he said nothing.

It appeared Logan came to some sort of decision. He exhaled unsteadily.

"Sure," Logan said as he reached back for his wheelchair. He shook his head when Alec leaned forward to help. When Logan was in his chair, any comments Alec thought about of Logan naked in the chair died at the sight of white knuckles curled around the wheels.

"Ready?" Logan asked, but he didn't wait for a reply as he turned around and steered for the bedroom.

Alec stared after Logan.

"Are you?" Alec murmured before following.

 

When they drew closer to the shower stall, Logan's chair slowed. 

Alec could feel Logan by his knee, stiff in his wheelchair, barely breathing. He wanted to tell Logan to forget it; it was fine if they didn't do this at all. Alec knew though, if he walked out of the bathroom now, it would never happen. And Logan would never mention it. 

Suddenly, Alec felt a heat bubbling up in his gut. Because it wasn't fair; they couldn't have this without a whole barrel of issues first. It wasn't fair that doing this was looked upon as a huge sacrifice on Alec's part; like Logan should be fucking grateful Alec would even look at him. Not when it really should be the other way around. 

Next to Alec, the wheelchair creaked as Logan leaned forward slide the shower curtain over. A pull down bench greeted them in a dark blue tiled stall.

Alec went to grab towels and spare boxers as per Logan's request. He took his time, a damn long time as he heard Logan ease over to the shower bench to slide across. Bare skin stuck briefly on dry surfaces. He flinched for Logan's sake. 

Aware of Logan's eyes on him, Alec reentered the en-suite. He stood by the entrance of the shower. For the first time he could remember, Alec fidgeted as he stood naked in front of Logan. 

Logan flashed a strained smile at Alec. He sat on the shower bench, looking small in the spacious stall. His skin looked pale against the dark blue tile. 

"So," Alec began awkwardly, but couldn't continue. 

"So," Logan said quietly. He tracked Alec stepping into the shower. He failed to hide a twitch when Alec tugged the shower curtain behind them. The curtain zipped loudly as it cut the shower away from the rest of the bathroom. 

Alec wondered if the pressing sensation around him was claustrophobia. He wondered if Logan felt the same when he caught Logan rolling back his shoulders.

"You want the shower or the handshower?" Alec offered awkwardly.

Logan glanced up; he shrugged then hesitated.

"I normally use the handshower but if you want to use the ceiling mounted, it can run both. I—" Logan took a deep breath. "Handshower's fine." 

The mosaic tile under Alec's toes felt cool. His toes curled as he stood in front of Logan. He felt tall, way too tall. He caught Logan craning his head up to look at him for the third time. He also caught Logan averting his gaze after for the third time.

The stall was spacious, but with Logan perched on the shower bench, Alec was crowded back. He could feel the knobs for the water temperature inches from his ass. If he took a step back, the back of his head would hit the handshower and its cradle. 

Wordlessly, Alec dropped to his knees. He slipped hands over Logan's calves and very gently parted the legs enough so he could kneel between them. His heels struck the shower wall. He was eyelevel to Logan's throat.

Logan sharply sucked in his breath. 

"What are you—" 

"Taking a shower with you," Alec murmured as he reached up and unhooked the handshower to set it on the bench. He ran the other hand across Logan's chest. The short hairs there, some wiry, some straight, brushed his palm sharp as glass. They also felt just as fragile. 

Logan dropped a hand on Alec's shoulder. It felt warm. It felt heavy. It felt like it belonged there. 

"You don't need to do this." 

"I don't need to do this," Alec echoed their conversation from weeks ago. He saw Logan's eyes crinkled at the corners. He smirked up at Logan. His hand wandered lower until it splayed over the abdomen. 

"You're not using me," Alec told Logan. He caught a flicker across Logan's expression. The smile wavered. "You always gave me a choice. And when you don't..." Alec playfully tweaked a nipple. Logan started. 

"It was always under some dumb, old fashioned, misguided idea that it's for my own good." 

Logan huffed. He tipped his head forward and rested it against Alec's. 

"Old fashioned?" Logan murmured. 

"Hell, man, surprised you didn't fling one of your expensive coats over a rain puddle for me." 

Logan snorted. "Rains three hundred and twenty days a year here. If I did every rain puddle, I'll have no clothes left." 

"Mm, now there's a nice idea." Alec slipped his hands around to clasp on Logan's lower back. 

"Alec—" 

"Sh." Alec mouthed along the rough jaw. Stubble scratched his cheek. He licked the seam under the lower lip. He hummed at the taste. 

"You always taste like—"

Logan chuckled quietly. "Coffee, I know."

"No, like you," Alec whispered as he reached behind them to turn on the main shower. 

Warm water splashed over their heads, sluiced over strong limbs and firm muscles. Alec licked droplets off Logan's throat. He tasted the water pooled in the shallow dips and curves of Logan's clavicle. 

Logan's hands swept over Alec's shoulders, water skimming both their bodies. His breath grew short, quickening as Alec tasted him, touched him. 

"You always smell like this," Alec breathed as he grabbed the bar of soap in the corner dish. He swept it over Logan's chest. He knead the pecs as he lathered up. He watched thick white foam cling briefly to Logan's body before sliding down to between the firm buttocks, pool on the dark tangle in Logan's groin, slither possessively down Logan's ankles. 

Alec smoothed more soap: across Logan's shoulders, down the strong line of Logan's throat. He felt himself hardening as Logan mirrored him with hesitant fingers. 

"No," Alec rasped when he felt Logan press in to reach for Alec's erection. He could feel the heat of Logan' hand, hovering to curl long, capable fingers around Alec. Alec wanted to lean into that touch; he wanted to thrust into that wet grip. 

Logan's hands retreated immediately; something Alec wanted to thank yet complain for.

Slick, almond smelling foam thickened under Alec's hands. He spread the suds across Logan's chest. He felt Logan do the same. He smoothed a creamy layer down Logan's back. The other copied him.

It was an odd dance: Logan sitting, Alec kneeling, damp bodies swaying towards each other as they washed. Water rained down over their heads, rinsing soap, old come down the drain. Alec hoped the shadows that often lurked in Logan's eyes would spin away too.

A thought niggled. Alec suddenly grinned which earned him a questioning eyebrow. He gathered up lather, massaging the trim body braced against him. He allowed himself a moment to enjoy Logan shivering against him in response. Then he reached up with his soapy harvest and dumped two heaping handfuls of soap on Logan's head.

Logan's laugh mingled with the shower's spray and Alec's cackle. Alec reached up and worked the suds into the brown locks. The hair stuck out in wild spikes. Alec didn't have a chance to enjoy his handiwork when Logan abruptly grabbed the handshower and sprayed his face.

It was a good thing Logan didn't aim lower. Alec had enough unpleasant memories of a disciplinary hose and a blast of ice water to his lower extremities when training wasn't up to Camp Manticore's standards. Nevertheless, the burst of water, Logan's deep throated chuckle startled Alec. A sound rose up his throat and Alec found himself laughing, full on laughing as he tried to snatch the handshower away without tackling a wet and naked Logan to the ground. 

The two wrestled briefly. Logan's upper body strength was considerable even if not a match to Alec, but the other made up with agility and—Whoa!

Alec started, edging away from the strange wiggly yet itchy sensation that spread under Logan's light fingers dancing up against his ribs. He stared down at himself.

"What the hell was that?" Alec squinted through the shower, but the water washing down his chest revealed nothing.

Logan chuckled. "I guess you're ticklish?" He reached for that spot again.

Alec boggled. He leaned _away_ from Logan's fingers.

"What? No way. That's not possible." Alec reached up to nudge the shower head away from pouring down over their eyes. He gestured towards himself. "That would have been splice and diced away!"

Logan pushed wet bangs away from his eyes. They were bright and as clear as Alec has ever seen them. 

"Somehow, I don't think they would have considered ticklishness a trait to filter out."

Alec rubbed a hand up and down the attack spot. Nothing. Huh. Just a fluke then. 

"They wouldn't have considered it strategically useful," Alec grumbled. He tried what Logan done and skipped light fingers across the spot, but still nothing. "Besides. False alarm. See? Nothing."

"That's not how it works." Logan smirked. "I don't think they were concerned with anyone sneaking up on you with a feather."

"Hey, you never kno—cut that out!"

Alec squeaked—no, he didn't squeak, damn it—as Logan found the exact spot again. That warm, squirming yet itchy feeling spread under Logan's clever fingers, spread down his sides and seemed to charge his spine because suddenly Alec found himself laughing, cursing and pleading at the same time he tried to twist away.

Logan took mercy and stopped finally. Alec collapsed against him. He held Logan's shoulders, still crouched between the other's legs. 

The two breathed hard as the shower cooled above their heads. Alec reluctantly pulled back to turn the water off. When he turned back to Logan, it was to a flushed face and almost forest green eyes. 

Alec snickered as he reached over. He smoothed over the droplets of water on Logan's shoulders. He tracked the moisture as they trailed down long muscles, the swell of biceps, the tapered fingers.

It seemed conversation died the moment the shower stopped. Alec stepped out of the shower and kneeled down in front of Logan's chair. A fluffy towel dropped over his head.

Logan took care drying Alec's hair as if each strand of hair was made of glass. Alec swiped his towel careful over Logan's lap, his groin. He could feel Logan watching him as he picked up Logan's right foot, set it on his thigh and rubbed the soft material over the arch, the toes, the heel.

There were still no words when they went back into the bedroom. They said nothing as they slipped into bed, into the spaces they claimed every night. There were no words when Alec rolled to straddle Logan, slipped his cock into Logan's mouth and let Logan drink every drop of him. He came, Logan swallowed. They were silent when Alec slipped his fingers into the dark heat of Logan's body. When Logan shuddered one more release, it was without a sound. It was still quiet when they settled back into bed on their sides, facing each other.

Alec ran his fingers through Logan's bangs. The lingering scent of almond rose. He smiled.

Logan, curled towards Alec, mirrored him. His hand curled under Alec's chin. His thumb gently traced the shape of Alec's mouth.

"Should you sleep on your back tonight?" Alec asked even when a part of him didn't want to. "That was a nasty bruise."

Logan shook his head. He studied Alec, his gaze dark and intense. He opened his mouth, but then it snapped shut.

Alec felt the top of his head. "Still got soap in my hair?"

"No. I—" Logan stroked Alec's face and throat. His mouth worked but nothing came out. His eyes swirled into a forest green that was breathtaking. 

Alec fidgeted closer until their noses almost touched. "What is it? Is it what was bothering you today? Your back?"

Logan took a deep breath. "Alec. I l—" A shadow flashed across his eyes. His hand stuttered over Alec's cheek. Logan screwed up to a strained smile.

"If I wake you again, don't forget. Feel free to smother me with a pillow."

Alec reached up and tweaked Logan's nose. "As if." He tapped a loose fist under Logan's chin. "One more late night wake up and I'll just exhaust you with sex again." He grinned wickedly as he pulled down Logan's hand to his crotch. "I'm up for it." 

Logan's eyes crinkled and he appeared to be at a loss for words. His eyes shone suspiciously.

Alec sobered. "Seriously, don't worry about it. You can't sleep, you can't sleep. Can't get rid of me that easy."

Abruptly, Logan leaned in and crushed his mouth to Alec's. Tongues battled, teeth clacked, lips slotted and the kiss went from fierce to gentle. 

When the two parted, Logan rested his forehead against Alec's.

Alec felt like something's changed; the air above them felt different on his skin tonight. Logan's kiss tasted different just now. A thin wire of ice burrowed into his gut. He studied Logan from this close vantage point. He couldn't see any physical difference. Not really. No, wait, the lines around Logan's mouth weren't as deep. His eyes seemed brighter. His touch felt more…reverent. 

The ice that settled inside Alec thawed.

"Get some sleep," Alec whispered. "Wake me if you want. Okay?"

Logan nodded. He sighed deeply as Alec rolled closer, tucking his head under Logan's chin. Their arms wrapped around each other, legs tucked into each other to fit like a puzzle. Alec felt Logan drift to sleep to the sound of his breathing. He found himself doing the same; Logan's regular pattern a lullaby in his ears.

Logan slept through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: Dear reader, your writer can't count or spackle plot holes well. (points to summary, muttering dire predictions) 
> 
> Head hanging,  
> I am so sorry.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sex, mentions dark thoughts, bad Manticore flashback and lots of cussing on Alec's part. Mentions things from "I Am and I Am A Camera", "Art Attack" and "Female Trouble"

"Yo, Heather! Your boyfriend's here!"

In the back row of the men's lockers, someone made loud kissy sounds.

Alec lightly banged his head on his locker door.

"Great," Alec muttered to Original Cindy next to him. "I told the idiot not to come her—Ow!" He grabbed the back of his head and whipped around to glare at Cindy.

"What the hell?"

Cindy grabbed Alec by the chin with her manicured purple nails. It matched her leggings. She huffed and turned his face to the front.

Alec blinked.

Logan sat in his chair waiting at the foot of the main ramp. He jerkily nodded to Sketchy and Herbal as they rode past. He sat in his chair, ramrod straight, arms rigid and poised over his wheels. He kept looking around while trying not to be obvious he was looking around. He acted like he was waiting for one of his informants. He also looked cold in the faded sweatshirt he threw over his tan henley. And damn it, Logan forgot his socks again.

Alec discovered he was at a loss on how to react. Logan looked out of place in _Jam Pony_. He acted as if he was debating on leaving. Alec was still trying to absorb the idea Logan was here.

Out of the corner of Alec's eye, he caught Cindy's smirk. 

"Shut up," Alec muttered. He tugged his collars higher on his windbreaker. He brushed his palms over his jeans. He cleared his throat. He coughed to get the odd itch out—

"You have got to be kidding," Cindy sighed.

Two well manicured hands planted square on Alec's shoulders and shoved.

Alec yelped as he stumbled out of the locker area with a lot less composure he planned on. He pivoted on his heels and shot Cindy a blistering look. Cindy folded her arms across her chest, leaned against the lockers and stared back unimpressed.

Alec grumbled under his breath as he turned back. He stopped.

A sound vibrated in his throat.

Normal, for whatever reason, had slunk out of his cage and was shaking Logan's hand with both of his. His headset was now around his neck.

Heat bloomed in Alec's gut and surged up to boil in his chest. He heard a rushing sound in his ears. He took a step forward.

Alec was promptly jerked back by the collars.

With a barely repressed snarl, Alec whipped around to the culprit and got a face full of cold water.

"What gives?" Alec sputtered as he scrubbed water off his face with his palm.

"Someone needed a cool down." Cindy tapped her now empty cup to Alec's nose. "You were growling."

Alec glowered at her. "No I wasn't."

"So you weren't going to go over there and knock Normal out of his imitation leather shoes?"

Alec shoved his fists deep into his pockets. All right, _maybe_ the thought had crossed his mind. He glanced over. His nostrils flared. Normal patted Logan on the shoulder, laughing about something. Messengers hawked at the Normal clone yukking it up like a regular human being.

"You're doing it again."

Alec clamped his mouth shut. He caught Cindy smirking.

"Since when were they such great buddies?" Alec grumbled. He didn't look over. His insides clenched when Normal chuckled. Beacon almost ran his bike into a garbage can when he heard.

"They're not." Cindy shrugged. "Normal was in a tight spot once over some delivery screw up. Someone told Logan and he knew a guy who knew a guy." She snorted. "The mens fight it out and Normal's skin stayed in one piece." She patted Alec on the arm. "The man is grateful, is all."

Alec made a face. Normal only needed to take one more step and he would be in Logan's lap. He set his jaw.

"He doesn't have to be _that_ grateful," Alec grumbled. He ground his teeth when Normal patted Logan on the shoulder. 

"Don't worry. We're pretty sure Normal's not his type." Cindy snickered. "Then again, Normal has been kicking it up with his on again, off again former man now a sci-fi lesbian. Logan there could be his type after all."

A molar inside Alec's mouth creaked. He ignored Cindy's knowing look as he sauntered over. He was carefully to keep his fists in his pockets, his stride measured and slow. His knees ached from the effort not to run.

"…owe you, Mr. Cale." Normal wrapped his grubby paws around Logan's hand in a vigorous handshake again. Logan chuckled awkwardly, but didn't pull his hand away. He sat there and let Normal molest his hand. Damn it. 

"I've given your account a discount as well." Normal declared it like it was a national holiday. "My own personal manager rate. If there's anything else you need, I am more than happy to personally—"

"I think he's good," Alec announced before Logan could think of something or Normal could offer anything more. He rested the side of his knee against the treads of one of the wheels. He grinned cheekily at Normal. " _Personally_ , I think this man crush of yours is kind of cute, Norm."

Normal harrumphed. He shook his hand free and glowered at Alec through his thick rims.

"Don't take too long of a personal call," Normal muttered as he retreated back to his cage. "You got a hot run in ten minutes."

"Wouldn't that make it a lukewarm run then?" Alec sloppily saluted Normal. As soon as the guy turned around, Alec bared his teeth. He made chomping motions at the back of his stupid head.

Turning back, Alec caught Logan studying him strangely.

Alec took a step back when he realized his knee was pushing into the wheelchair; he could feel an impression forming on his leg. He was one step away from climbing into Logan's lap himself, snarling Tank off because that shaven head perv was staring unabashedly at Logan's mouth from the locker area.

"Hey." Alec inwardly grimaced. 

Logan smiled. It dropped. He tried again. "Hey."

"Uh," Alec scratched his stomach under his t-shirt. He noted Logan's eyes drifting to there. Wisps of memory, of Logan's tongue lapping up the come this morning made Alec's stomach clench. 

Alec aborted a move to rub the back of his neck. He hastily dropped his hand to his sides instead. "Fancy meeting you here."

Logan shook out of his reverie. He winced. He looked as weird as Alec felt. "I was…around the area and uh…"

At the fringes of Alec's vision, he caught Sweeper peering around the front entrance into _Jam Pony_ looking for Logan. He spotted Alec with his target. He perked up and gave Alec an over-exuberant thumb up. He ducked when Logan looked about. In the distance, a bike squealed and an alley cat yowled, outraged.

Alec mentally groaned and made a note to throttle the guy later.

Logan's hands curled and uncurled around the wheels. He wore his grip gloves; Alec suspected the knuckles were bone white underneath. 

"So…" Alec wanted to bounce on the balls of his feet. He wanted to do something. The back of his neck tingled. Was everybody watching? Why was it suddenly so quiet here? Shouldn't those jerks be off on hot runs? Bip, bip, bip?

Logan's wheelchair rolled forward then retreated back. Alec wondered if Logan's back was bothering him again. Logan squirmed in his seat.

Alec waved feebly over his shoulder. "Ah, do you want a tour of the place?"

"No. That's fine. I've been here before and ah, well, no, that's fine."

"Okay." Alec's hands felt like they could punch through his pockets. He rocked on his heels. "We still on for dinner later?" At Logan's nod, Alec's brow furrowed. "Need me to deliver something?" His frown deepened at the headshake. " _Okay_ , then what's up? Unless…" He grinned. "I think the back office is empty around this time—"

A small package bounced off the back of Alec's head. His yelp was lost among Logan's sputtering and Normal's yowling to Cindy about property damage.

Alec clasped his hands to the back of his skull. He squinted at Logan.

"Seriously, what's going on besides me getting another concussion from her?"

Logan chuckled. His shoulders relaxed. He took a deep breath. "I was wondering if you were busy next Friday?"

Alec blinked. His grievous head wound forgotten, he lowered his hands. 

"I don't think so," Alec said slowly. He raised an eyebrow. 

"Planning something kinky?"

Logan shot Alec an exasperated look. Alec grinned because hell, it was hot and much better than Logan's normal gloomy brooding face.

"Not unless you count a black tie affair as kinky…" Logan's eyes dropped to Alec's crotch, remembering. Logan colored. He coughed as he hastily averted his eyes. 

"My uncle is planning on making some sort of announcement that night." Logan shrugged. "I wasn't invited originally, but my cousin has been complaining about me standing him up as his best man so…" His mouth twisted. "I was invited to catch up with him and I happened to only be free that night…"

"Geez, why can't you just crash a party like a normal person?" Alec complained. He shrugged. "Sure. Why not? I've been hankering for some of that fancy finger food they serve in those things." A thought struck. Alec brightened.

"Wait. That means you'll be wearing a tux, right?"

Logan's brow knitted. "It is. Are you going to be okay getting a—"

Alec waved him off. 

"14J," Alec simply said. He grinned; his eyebrows waggled. 

Logan rolled his eyes. A corner of his mouth quirked though. 

"Okay," Logan murmured. "So I…next Friday then? We could meet at my place at five and I'll drive us there."

Alec almost told Logan he already knew where the place was. He nodded hurriedly. "Sounds like fun."

"Hardly," Logan said dryly. "This is my family we're talking about here. The Cales invented snotty."

"If it gets me to see you in that tux again…" Alec leered. He sensed Normal staring hard at them from his cage, but he didn't berate Alec for the long personal call. In fact, Alec caught Normal out of the corner of his eye, leaning, his torso almost hanging out of his cage. 

Alec smoothly took a side step, blocking Logan from Normal. He schooled his expression, but knew Logan caught him, because his ears pinked. 

"I could come by earlier," Alec suggested. "Help you out of—I mean, _into_ your tux."

Behind them, a few mailing tubes clattered off the cage's ledge.

"We'll talk more about it over dinner? Nine o'clock?" Logan stammered as he wheeled backwards. No doubt the guy knew he was two seconds away from Alec climbing into his lap and sucking a mark deep into his bones so everyone who saw it would know to stay the fuck away.

Alec gave Logan a nod. A beat later, he frowned.

"Wait, you could have asked me tonight," Alec pointed out.

Logan's chair squawked to a halt. He stared wide-eyed at Alec; it looked like it hadn't occurred to him.

"Oh," Logan fumbled. "I was out, ah, working and I was thinking about it and thought…"

Alec's frown deepened. "Thought you were _working_ at Sector three today. That's halfway across tow—"

"So I'll see you at nine then? Great." Logan turned sharply and steered for the ramp.

Alec stared after Logan, baffled. Even when he saw Logan cleared the ramp okay, Sweeper slinking after him like the weird, goofy shadow that he was, he continued staring.

Finally, Normal's screeching drew Alec out of his reverie. He shot the entrance Logan left through one last puzzled look. He went to get his hot run before Normal howled his way into hysteria.

 

"…all I need to do is sign the paperwork and you'll file it with the courts?"

Alec paused halfway into the living room.

Logan sat rigid in his wheelchair by the computers. The monitors rattled, but Logan ignored them. He didn't notice Alec was here either. He nodded curtly to whoever was on the other side of the receiver.

"No, that's fine." The table creaked. One of the computer screens flickered. "What about Falkner? How much? Twenty grand?"

Alec's eyebrow rose high.

An odd _rat-a-tat-tat_ beat punctuated Logan's terse voice.

"I can get the cash to him tomorrow, but I want him to guarantee the injunction will go through. They're making the announcement next Friday and I—" Logan sighed. He nodded tiredly to the tinny voice in the phone.

"No, I know. I didn't want to do this, but…" Logan breathed out sharply.

Alec eyed the window behind him. He was about to climb up his line to give Logan a few minutes when the odd rattling beat underlying Logan's conversation registered. He dropped back into the living room and edged closer.

Sure enough, Logan was ramming the side of his legs under the station again as he listened with a pinched expression. Left, _bang_ , right, _bang_. Logan snapped his knees hard into the metallic legs, hard enough the monitors on top shook.

"Thanks for your help," Logan said wearily. "I'll pick up the paperwork tom—" He spotted Alec reflected on the computer screen. He stilled, but his posture didn't relax.

"I'll call you before I get there tomorrow. Ten? All right. Thanks again." Logan ended the call with a quick press of a button. He didn't turn around.

"I hope Chinese is okay," Logan said casually as he turned off his computers. "They'll deliver in an hour. I was working on something that took longer than I thought—"

"I take it you're not just crashing your uncle's party for the hors d'oeuvres then," Alec drawled.

Back still facing Alec, Logan flinched.

"Well, _you_ can," Logan said lightly. He backed out of the office area and returned the phone on its cradle. 

"Is this something for _Eyes On_ —"

"No." Logan shook his head as he steered for the kitchen. "I would never do that to you. I needed a, ah, companion for this thing otherwise my cousin was going to try and match me up with every single woman he can think of and I heard my ex—"

"Hey." Alec rested his elbows on the island counter. "If it is, I don't mind, okay? Hell, tell me what you need me to do and—"

"Alec." Logan turned away from the fridge. He met Alec's eyes. "I…I only wanted you there."

Alec's eyebrow rose. "To…?"

Logan shook his head. "Nothing. Just…Things are probably going to get awkward there and…" He shrugged. His mouth twisted ruefully. "I thought it would be nice to have a friendly face with me. I wanted you with me."

Alec blinked. There was a strange wiggly sensation in his gut. 

Unbidden, a smile Alec was sure looked goofy, broke free. "Yeah?"

Logan's eyes blurred into a soft green. His mouth twisted. "Yeah."

Alec drew invisible symbols on the counter. He found he couldn't stop grinning.

"Okay. Cool," Alec fumbled. He peered through half mast eyes and matched Logan's lopsided smile. "I know you said it wouldn't be, but it does sound like fun." 

Logan scoffed as he leaned back into his chair. "I'm glad it does for someone at least. The way I remembered: those things tended to get boring the minute the invitations were sent out."

Alec made a face. "That bad?"

"The last one of these things I'd been to was shortly after the Pulse. My aunt Margo spent the whole night telling everyone how scandalized she was that the caterers served Sockeye salmon instead of King."

"Seriously?" Alec boggled. "You guys were served _Sockeye_?" He smirked at Logan's look. "That doesn't sound too bad."

"Everyone else was asking if I was still enjoying my journalism _hobby_."

"Yeouch." Alec winced sympathetically. "If these things are usually that much fun, why go?" 

Logan's smile faded.

Grimacing, Alec nodded. "Your uncle?"

Logan sighed. "Hard to avoid me in the very party he's throwing." He sagged. He suddenly looked like someone had scraped over him with a scouring pad, trying to erase him. 

Alec went around the island. He kneeled in front of Logan's chair. With a flip of a lever and a tug, Alec drew Logan's chair closer until Alec sat between Logan's parted knees.

"It sounds like it's going to suck," Alec murmured. He captured Logan's stiff hands. The fingers were cold. He rubbed Logan's knee where he thought the table struck. He felt the heat of the bruising even through the thin pants. Alec made sure Logan watched Alec as he dropped a kiss over the abused joint.

"Well, maybe they'll remember the right salmon this time," Logan murmured. He smiled self-deprecatingly. "Not that I could ever tell the difference."

"Oh, that's easy. One's pinker than the other. I think." Alec smirked at Logan's weary chuckle. He rubbed Logan's knee. He winced, secretly glad Logan couldn't feel the knots Alec felt sitting on the top of the knee cap.

"What did they ever do to you?" Alec murmured to Logan's knees. He slowly folded up the pants to examine them.

Logan's chair rolled back a fraction. The pants cuffs fell out of Alec's grip.

"I…Habit," Logan said lamely. When Alec gazed up at him, Logan's eyes drifted to stare off to the side of his knees. "When the medical treatment started to fail, I…" He gestured towards his legs. "It was the only way to feel they were there." His mouth twisted at Alec's expression. "It doesn't hurt. Just a vague…ache."

Alec cupped one knee with both of his hands. He squeezed the joint and felt a spasm jolt throughout the limb. He applied pressure again and the leg twitched on reflex.

"You may not feel it," Alec murmured. A lump lodged in his throat when the other leg did the same. "But it still hurts." He rubbed his hands down the calves, the ankles Logan always failed to cover up. Alec squirmed closer until the weight of Logan's knees bracketed his shoulders.

"Would you stop doing that?" Alec asked. He looped his arms around Logan's middle. He dropped his head to rest on the gentle swell of Logan's lower abs. Alec listened to Logan breathe, a few inhales and exhales before he raised his head.

"Stop, all right?" Alec whispered. "Something hurts when you do that."

Mute, Logan nodded. 

Alec rubbed his hands up and down Logan's thighs. He tried to imagine blood running through the lower extremities. Logan always felt cold. 

"Sorry." Logan covered Alec's hands, stopping the massage. "Guess I'm not in the best of moods tonight. Been thinking about next Friday." He exhaled. 

"Maybe I shouldn't have asked you to come after all." Logan squeezed Alec's hands. "I'm being selfish."

"We could stay here," Alec offered. 

"Here?"

Alec's eyebrows went up and down. "I'll still wear my tux and you could wear yours." 

Logan smiled wanly, playing along. "Not much of a party with just the two of us. It'll still be boring."

"With the two of us? No way."Alec hummed as his lips brushed along Logan's inner thighs. He locked gazes, making sure Logan tracked Alec as he lowered his head to nip the worn cotton that covered the soft skin.

Logan's hands drifted to Alec's hair.

"What would we do then?" Logan murmured. His breath caught when Alec pulled up the edge of his henley and laved the area around his belly button.

"You? Nothing." Alec suckled a spot above Logan's groin. Logan moaned. Alec applied pressure, sucking and nipping until a bruise bloomed under his mouth.

"I would lay you out on the carpet," Alec purred into the bruise. "I would strip you with my teeth." He raked the edge of his teeth along the start of the dark hair nestled between Logan's legs. Logan audibly gulped.

"I would leave you naked on the floor," Alec slipped hands under Logan's butt and slid the other closer to the edge of his seat. Logan's fingers curled into Alec's hair. "I'll still have my tux on. You? I want you under me. I want you desperate. I want you hungry for me to do anything to you."

Logan moaned quietly as Alec kissed and licked up his obliques. 

"I would pull my dick out. You would suck me until your jaw cramps. Then, I'd come all over you. I'd mark you." 

Logan whimpered. Alec ignored him arching towards him, his nipples straining under his shirt.

"I'd bring you close, so close," Alec murmured as he continued to suck bruises up Logan's torso. "You'll want me everywhere, begging me, but I'll be too busy leaving my mark on you, cover you with my come. No one is going to be able to ignore what I did to you." 

Logan keened when Alec abruptly bit down on the lower edge of a pec. Logan feverishly tugged at Alec's hair, groaning as Alec mouthed the dark rosy skin circling the nub. Alec ignored the hardening peak, the nipple painfully hard and sensitive from neglect.

"Alec…Alec…"

"That's what you'll sound like. Begging me as I touched you, just enough to make you want more. You're always so responsive. I could keep you on the carpet and touch you all night and you would let me. I would get you all marked up. I want you smelling like my come. I want everybody to see you and know what I did to you, on you, in you. They'll take one look at you and know you lay there and let me do all those things."

Logan shuddered. Alec smirked. 

"Right here," Alec breathed. "We don't have to go anywhere. Just here, babe. I would keep you here all night. I would make you scream so hard, you're gonna have to do your hacks in captions all week."

Logan gulped. His head thrown back, body arched towards Alec's mouth, he looked thoroughly debauched. His mouth parted, working to get a word, a syllable out. With a stifled moan, he bit out.

"No…I-I, we…I can't."

Alec exhaled, unsurprised. At least he had fun trying to convince Logan. His dick was straining in his jeans. Geez, talking about it almost made him come. He sat back on his heels to admire his handwork. Logan sat slumped in his wheelchair, his legs limp around Alec, his cheeks flushed, his mouth pink and swollen.

"Yeah," Alec sighed. "I figured as much." He smirked. "Sure I can't convince you?"

Logan stared at Alec's mouth. His tongue flicked out and ran across the lower lip.

"You," Logan rasped. "You can certainly try."

 

Alec fought not to thrust.

Logan's wet mouth surrounded him. His velvety tongue swirled slowly around the head of Alec's cock, lingering at the slit, the tip running over it like it was mapping its shape. The rough and damp touch sent shockwaves of heat up Alec's back and settled in the base of his skull. Something primal chanted inside Alec as Logan's hands—those beautiful, graceful, callused hands—cradled Alec's balls as if they were made of glass.

Alec moaned his appreciation, unable to fully articulate to Logan how good it felt to feel his cock slide down Logan's hot throat. Logan's cock twitched shyly in his own mouth. Alec did give his thanks with a deep, massaging stroke inside Logan with his fingers.

With a shiver, Logan retaliated by gently scraping the edge of his teeth along the base of Alec's cock. He made a little sound as Alec filled further, forcing him to widen his mouth.

Tiny charges sparked along Alec's length as Logan showed Alec how well he's learned over the past few weeks: relaxing his jaw, humming on oversensitive skin as Alec slipped in further. Vibrations thrummed up and down Alec's cock. Alec whimpered and allowed himself a tiny thrust.

"Oh God," Alec muffled as he pursed his lips around the semi-rigid length in his own mouth. He applied as much pressure as he could with his jaw and tongue. Logan breathed sharply in response then began to suck hard, pulling Alec in, muscles working to deep throat him.

Alec showed his gratitude with a series of sharp thrusts of his fingers, striking across the swollen gland over and over. Logan mewled around Alec's cock which sent waves of head-spinning sensations up Alec's back and settled behind his eyes. Alec added a third finger; he bit back the groan when Logan volleyed with a pinch at Alec's balls. Alec replied with a blur of thrusts, twisting his fingers as they pistoned deep. He felt Logan writhed underneath him, shoulders shaking as Alec increased the pace, ruthlessly lancing across the prostate until Logan's cock became fully erected, weeping with need. And even then, Alec continued to drown Logan in sensation, so the other couldn't evaluate what he couldn't fully feel. Alec only wanted Logan to feel, feel _everything_. Alec touched, pressed, massaged without stop.

Logan began shuddering, moaning around Alec's cock making frantic thrusts into his throat. Logan's throat worked feverishly around Alec's cock and the hungry sounds that tumbled out with each sharp stroke of Alec's fingers. Logan's upper body was crushed into the mattress by Alec's lower body. Alec thrust and devoured relentlessly because he knew he could coax Logan to come a second time, because taking Logan apart on the dining table wasn't enough, because Logan felt close as he keened so desperately…

A light touch skimmed over Alec's hole, tentative, unsure, testing.

Alec violently jerked. He realized his mistake when Logan choked underneath him. Logan's cock slipped free from Alec's mouth as Alec carefully pulled out of Logan's mouth and swung off.

Logan coughed and coughed. He struggled to roll on his side, couldn't, turned his head over the edge of the bed and threw up.

"Fuck." Alec ignored the soiled carpet as he pulled Logan up to sit. The other, still coughing, slumped gratefully against Alec.

"Sorry. Sorry." Alec rubbed a hand up and down between Logan's shuddering shoulders. Each cough seemed to cut through Alec. He tugged Logan harder to him.

"Sorry," Alec babbled. "I wasn't expecting that. You gotta give a guy warning. I mean if you really want to do that, not that I need an engraved invitation that says "Hi, can you cordially invite me into your ass", a heads up and lots of booze—crap, I can't get drunk, but you know what I mean—"

Logan trembled against Alec. He'd stopped coughing, but his breathing was still harsh and ragged against Alec.

Alec blinked rapidly. His eyes burned. He felt cold all around and wondered how it would look if he put on his shir—wait, where _was_ his shirt? Crap, it might still be in the kitchen. Somewhere, along with Logan's soft gray sweats. He didn't give Logan a chance to clear the table before they had their dessert.

A hand shook as it lifted to curl loosely around Alec's right bicep. Logan rested his forehead on Alec's shoulder. He pant as he leaned upright within Alec's arms.

Alec's throat squeezed tight. He buried his face on the side of Logan's neck.

"I should brush my teeth," Logan rasped.

Alec shook his head. The smell wasn't that bad.

"I need to get a towel for the carpet," Logan wheezed.

Alec shrank his hold around Logan's middle. 

"Alec…" Logan carefully touched the back of Alec's hair. 

"I'm sorry," Alec mumbled into Logan's neck. 

Logan's hand tangled into Alec's hair, fingers sinking into the strands starting to come out of the high and tight cut Alec automatically gets the minute his hair dared to grow out of it. 

"I should have asked," Logan murmured by Alec's ear.

Alec shook his head. "It's only fair. I mean you let me, I should let you."

"We're only doing what you and I want to do." Logan was firm. He leaned back so he could look into Alec's eyes. "Only what we want to." He smiled briefly. "You've always telling me I could tell you to stop when I need it. Same goes to you."

Speechless, Alec stared at Logan. Green eyes reflected his wide-eyed expression. Unblinking, Alec's image gaped back at Alec.

Alec slipped his hands up Logan's back, parallel to the spine, up the strong line, never pausing at the feel of the puckered surgical scars along the way. His hands stopped on the broad planes of Logan's shoulders and he left them there, soaking in the warmth of Logan's skin.

"Thanks," Alec managed. 

Logan framed Alec's face with his hands. He nodded carefully as he pulled Alec closer, his mouth parting…

The two paused before pulling away from each other. Logan breathed into a cupped hand. He made a face.

"Toothbrush?" Alec suggested.

"Definitely."

 

_The heavy boots walked up and down the barracks. Cool blue eyes surveyed the line._

_"472, 415, 494, 498."_

_He took one step forward with the others. He saluted; a sharp hand over his eyes._

_The nod in returned was brief. The eyes lingered on each boy._

_"You remember the mission debrief on Senator Asyner?"_

_Of course they did. Word for word. Nevertheless, he nodded with the others._

_Another nod. Just as short. Because it was expected._

_"The senator has a crucial vote we need, to continue our mission. Our goal is to…persuade him to see it our way in the Discretionary fund meetings."_

_A timid voice, one Lydecker would have frowned upon, spoke up. "Sir, Colonel Lydecker insisted there was—"_

_"Lydecker is busy chasing after his failed experiments." The blue eyes oscillated from 472 and the rest. "This way is more expedient." The voice warmed. "These boys were trained to take orders. Weren't you?"_

_It seemed redundant, but they all nodded anyway._

_The tip of a pen traced the seam of his lower lip. It tapped 415's chin._

_There was a harrumph as those blue eyes patrolled behind the line of X5s. He could feel the eyes considering their backs. He suppressed a shiver._

_"415, 494, and 47—no, 498." The decision made was announced in a cool voice. "Report to training room five in the Ops bunker."_

_He nodded, because that's what he was supposed to do and marched out with 415 and 498._

_The others left on the line did not watch him leave._

Alec grunted as he jerked awake. His eyes peeled open.

Logan stared back with half mast eyes. 

Alec sleepily tugged Logan closer to him with the arm he had around Logan to keep him on his side. He burrowed deeper into the thick coverlet Logan must have pulled over their heads some time before. 

The additional layer of darkness soaked in the remnants of Alec's dream/memory. It sopped up the last bit of ickiness that clung to his skin. His limbs loosened from its locked position. 

"Couldn't sleep?" Alec murmured when his throat started working again. He slipped a knee between Logan's. He swung his other leg over Logan's bare flank. Logan, for once, felt as warm as a hot water bottle. Alec wiggled closer.

"Funny," Logan said quietly, "I was about to ask you that."

Alec blinked blearily at Logan. "I'm fine." His free hand drifted to Logan's jaw. There were no marks, but Alec took care smoothing his fingers over the invisible hurts around Logan's mouth.

"I'm sorry about before." Alec's thumb ran a line under Logan's lower lip. It reminded him too much of a pen tip tracing a mouth searching for imperfections. Alec moved his hand to a shoulder instead.

Logan cupped the back of Alec's head. He stroked the curve of Alec's skull, inspecting, measuring whatever the hell he always seemed to search for when they lay this close in the night. His fingers danced over the short strands of Alec's light hair. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Ice gnarled around Alec's insides. This time, _Alec_ wanted to throw up.

Logan read Alec's expression. He didn't pull his hand away from Alec's head, but his touches gentled further until they were barely there.

"Okay," Logan murmured. "Okay."

Alec could feel himself tensing despite of the reprieve.

"There's nothing to talk about," Alec muttered. He leaned into Logan's hand. The featherlike touches felt like Logan was fading and his skin crawled at the idea. Alec bumped his head against Logan's palm. The other scratched the back of Alec's head in response.

"But if there is." Logan hesitated, suddenly looking unsure. His hand stuttered over Alec's head. 

"There isn't." It tasted as sharp as it sounded in Alec's mouth. 

Alec wished Logan would stop looking like he was rolling over thin ice, like solid footing was invisible to him, like any minute the ground underneath was going to disintegrate. But there was nothing to talk about. Nothing to say. X-494 obeyed orders. X-494 did what needed to be done; X-494 learned what needed to be learned. And what Manticore failed to teach him, the corner of Wangle and Twelfth taught him the rest. 

"What did it feel like for you?" Alec blurted out because the silence between them hung too heavy inside their blanket cocoon.

Logan hesitated. His hand settled on the curve of Alec's nape. The edge of his hand brushed along the edge of Alec's bar code. Alec fought down the urge to roll away.

"Each time I touched you," Alec whispered, "Each time I filled you up with my fingers, each time I moved inside you, each time I made you come, what did it feel like?"

Logan audibly swallowed.

The words seemed to balloon in Alec's mouth. He wanted to ask if it had hurt at times, if Alec hadn't been careful enough.

"Like it wasn't enough," Logan croaked. "I could feel you in me, vaguely, but I could never be sure how much or how many…I…" His throat worked as if remembering the taste of Alec's cock. 

"It felt like it wasn't enough. It felt like I needed more."

Alec sagged deeper into the mattress. He shifted closer to Logan.

"Good," Alec rasped. He fought to keep his voice steady. "I tried to make sure it didn't hur—that it was good for you—"

"It always was."

"But," Alec said over Logan's immediate response, "I know sometimes I get pretty intense. I tried to slow down." Because no one ever did with him; because X-494 was only a sack of skin and bones waiting for programming. "But I know sometimes…sometimes, I get…"

Logan tugged Alec until their noses touched. Their foreheads tipped together.

"Don't," Logan whispered. He lolled his head, rocking his forehead across Alec's brow. "Don't slow down. When you don't, you feel so good, when you come, you looked so…to think I can give that to you…" His voice wobbled.

"You make me feel whole."

Alec's tongue darted out to trace the shape of Logan's perfect mouth.

"You're always whole to me," Alec whispered.

"I didn't feel whole to _me_."

Alec slotted into the hollow of Logan's curled body.

"You make me feel real," Alec said into Logan's throat.

Logan kissed the top of Alec's head.

"You're always real to me."

Alec breathed deep the scent of Logan's skin; the salty tang of life, the almost sweet-bitter hint of sex clinging to Logan's body.

"Don't let me hurt you," Alec said abruptly. "If you want me to stop, any time, _tell me_. Okay?" He raised his eyes, easily finding Logan's in the dark. 

Logan shook his head. "You never—"

"Don't. Let. Me. Hurt. You."

Logan paused. He squinted towards Alec. What the other saw in the dark, without his glasses, Alec didn't know.

Slowly, Logan nodded.

"Okay." Logan exhaled slowly. He dropped his forehead onto Alec's again. "All right." He cradled the back of Alec's neck, covering the bar code. It was a possessive touch of a smooth palm, rough callused fingers and warm skin wrapped around Alec's mark. 

Alec arched into Logan. He rocked over Logan's thigh. There was no response, no muscle tick as he ground his renewed erection into Logan's leg. He wiggled close enough to rub his chest against Logan's. He exhaled shakily as crisp chest hair teased and pricked his nipples.

Logan said nothing. His eyes were almost luminescent in the dark as he watched Alec rut against him with increasingly frantic thrusts.

Alec felt himself dripping all over Logan's body as he humped Logan's thigh, the friction burning, almost too much against his swollen cock. His nipples were now hard nubs as he strained to grind against Logan's chest for more. More, because it was never enough. 

Still silent, Logan simply wrapped his arms tighter around Alec. 

Their bodies crashed over and over. Alec bodily slapped against Logan. Logan merely held him. He rocked in the bed, caught in Alec's jerky movements. But he said nothing as he let Alec take his fill of Logan's body.

Only Logan wasn't really silent. As heat rushed through Alec's body, the buzzing in his ears softened and gave way to Logan murmuring quietly into Alec's ear. Soft, tentative, unsure yet a determined steady stream of reassurances of how good Alec felt, how Alec could take what he needed, how Alec could never hurt him.

Alec came with a choked cry, spilling messily over Logan's groin and stomach. Hands found its way to Alec's cock to milk him dry. He came when Logan used his clever hands. He came again when Logan lifted up his come soaked fingers and let Alec watch him lick them clean. And Alec crushed his mouth to Logan, rolled them over so his weight pinned Logan to the mattress. He stared at Logan's flushed face, his kiss swollen lips, the bruises that dotted Logan's skin.

An overwhelming surge swept over Alec. So swift, so huge, Alec choked. He hadn't felt like this since Rachel. He hadn't felt like this since he watched her father shakily pull the plug and the puff of the ventilator faded. He watched Rachel fade, lying there because X-494 followed orders so damn well—

"Don't let me hurt you."

Alec dropped his body across Logan. If he was heavy, Logan didn't complain. 

Arms wound around Alec's shoulders.

"You won't."

Alec squeezed his eyes shut as he buried his face into Logan's chest. He felt the faint steady thrum of Logan's heart. His stomach lurched at the thought that one day, he might not hear it.

Alec felt his breathing hitched. Weird. It was like something wanted to come out. He made to roll off Logan, but Logan's arms wrapped around him tighter.

"You won't, Alec."

Alec didn't nod. He didn't shake his head. He kept his ear pressed over Logan's heart and tried to believe what Logan's heart was telling him. 

 

Original Cindy whistled.

Alec bared his teeth at her. He cocked a pose and spread his arms out.

Cindy looked exceptionally tasty today in her tiny cropped gray t-shirt and red leather skirt, but Alec had to admit: he looked _way_ tastier in 14J's tuxedo. Unfortunately though, the food inspector gained a few inches in the wrong places thanks to his nightly rendezvous with a pastry chef, who was also secretly banging his other mistress. 14J was too distracted (or too horny) to realize Alec had helped himself to his old suit (and the bribes he hid in the toilet tank).

"Damn. Original Cindy almost wishes we were playing for the other team." At Alec's leer, Cindy added darkly, "Not anymore."

Alec pouted. He looked at the cracked mirror Cindy dragged out of her bedroom. He turned around, checked out his ass, clenched his butt and checked how it looked in the mirror again. He ignored the gagging sounds behind him.

"The guy must have had an ass the size of Texas," Alec complained. He pinched both sides of the pressed wool trousers. "There's enough room in here to fit Logan." Alec brightened. "Wait…"

Cindy's thimble bounced off the back of Alec's head. Luckily, she pulled out the needles first.

"Ouch," Alec whined. 

"Do you want Original Cindy's help or not?" Cindy demanded. "We're meeting River in two hours."

Alec bared his teeth at her. "Can I watch?" He cringed when Cindy glowered. "All right! Geez, you're no fun." He looked down at himself. The jacket fitted after a few strategic stitches by Cindy. The satin black material skimmed down his torso. The trousers, however, bunched up under the back hem. They looked like clown pants.

Original Cindy rolled her eyes when Alec told her. She gestured towards Alec.

"We can fix that." Cindy paused as she gave Alec another look.

"Well, we can fix the _pants_."

"Hey!"

Cindy snorted. "Relax. We have four days. Original Cindy will get you all pretty up for your date Friday." 

Alec froze mid-twist from checking out his ass in another angle. "What? This isn't a date."

"Um hm."

"It isn't," Alec insisted. "He's going to go all disgruntled prodigal son there and he thought he could use the company in case one of those rich people stab him with their tiny cocktail forks."

Cindy solemnly nodded.

Alec glared at her reflection. "Shut up."

Cindy smirked. "All right, you give us the 411. Why did our boy come down to _Jam Pony_ to ask you in person then?"

Alec narrowed his eyes towards the mirror. " _Our_ boy?"

"Chill. We have no interest." Cindy's reflection rolled her eyes at him. "Interesting, is all."

Alec frowned at the mirror. "What's interesting?" Shit, the shoulders still looked a little loose. He plucked at a lapel. He ignored the minute trembling in his fingers because he needed to buy fancy shoes and a tie first, not black market tryptophan. 

"Only seen Logan come around to _Jam Pony_ once," Cindy muttered. She lifted one shoulder. "Came to _Crash_ a couple of times, once when he was up and sort of about, but after Bling disappeared…" She shook her head. "Original Cindy thought it was interesting, that's all." 

Alec shrugged. "He said he was in the area." He brushed a palm down his front. The color looked a tad—Wait, was that _lipstick_? Damn it. He studied his reflection. He hadn't wore a tux since—

A vacant eyed boy with a severe high and tight cut stared back. 

Alec grimaced and pivoted away. Cindy watched him silently.

"You look good," Cindy said, serious all of the sudden. She studied Alec with deep chocolate brown eyes. Her mouth curved softly. 

"The top half does, at least," grumbled Alec. He scowled at the mirror over his shoulder. "My ass looks like it deflated lopsidedly."

"Alec."

Alec stiffened. He glanced over at the mirror. Cindy frowned mildly.

"You okay?"

Alec plucked at the buttonholes. He shrugged.

"You biting your nails about your date or your _date_?"

Alec made a face. "I don't bite my nails. You know how hard it is to crack a safe with gnawed out, gross looking nails?"

"Um hm."

"And I told you: not a date. Just dinner at his rich uncle's place. His Holiness and his personal revved up, faintly homicidal, hot rob—"

Cindy cast her eyes towards the ceiling. "It's fine."

"Is it?" Alec murmured without thinking. He pinched the fold of the lapel. He wondered if Logan was going to wear the same tux or was there another one hanging in his closet, forgotten and just as dusty? 

"You don't think so?"

Alec shrugged. He waved disparagingly towards his neck. 

"Bullshit." Cindy made a rude sound. "Original Cindy sees it as it is. We don't know how, but…You two fit."

"Well at least something does," Alec said darkly. He ignored the curl of warmth he got from what Cindy said. There were times it did feel like he and Logan slid into place like two dovetailed pieces. Then there were times when it felt like one or the other went the other way. He turned back to the mirror.

"He's still all need-to-know." Alec plucked at a button hole. It took two tries. He clenched his jaw and tried again. "Even now. He's wheeling around the city, pissing all the bad guys off solo."

"You said he thought it was for your own good; it was to keep Big Brother off your back." Cindy studied Alec's reflection. "Does it?"

Alec shrugged.

"You don't think it matters."

"If they had wanted me back, it wouldn't matter what he does or what I don't do," Alec muttered. "It's hard to hide all this awesomeness."

Cindy scoffed.

Alec ran a palm down his front and smoothed out the wrinkles he thought he could still see.

"Logan is trying to keep that from happening."

"Big Brother still holds the receipt." Alec gulped back the lump in his throat. "I'm still under warranty. And they don't like civilians taking their stuff." His shoulders dropped slightly. 

"I know it. I know _he_ knows it, but he still has that crazy delusion he can fight them back with a toothpick." Alec scowled into the mirror. "He's too into that martyrdom gig."

"That's not what he's into." Cindy folded her arms in front of her.

"Huh?"

Cindy muttered under her breath something that sounded disparaging against Alec's gender. She stepped up behind Alec. She ignored Alec waving his ass at her as she pinned the jacket back by the shoulders.

"That why you and your weird buddy been stalking Logan?" Cindy murmured in Alec's ear.

Alec blinked innocently at Cindy's reflection. "No?" He yelped when a tiny prick bit him in the butt.

"Oops."

Alec grumbled. 

"It's not stalking," muttered Alec. "Just proactive shit prevention because his internal magnet is still set to 'Trouble'." He rubbed the insulted spot on his rear. He glared at Cindy smirking in the mirror. "It's—"

"For his own good?"

Alec didn't blush, damn it. He shoved his shaky hands into the pockets.

"You think you can sew in a hidden pocket? I want to hide some C4 in there. And a dildo. Just in case." Alec exhaled when he looked up at Cindy's eyebrow. He bristled

"It's not the same."

"Isn't it?"

"He's not letting me help him. I—"

"Don't want him helping you."

Alec stopped.

"You two are idiots."

Alec swallowed. 

" _He's_ the idiot." The mirror blurred in front of Alec. He wanted to punch the face staring back at him. He wanted to break X-494's jaw and tell it to leave Logan alone. "He's a stupid, nosy, overly moralistic, squishy human who just happened to give _really_ good hea—okay!" 

Alec ducked away from Cindy's hand. He shot her hand a wary look as he straightened. He held still as Cindy tugged his sleeves straight to tweak the cuffs.

"Funny," Cindy drawled, "I think he could say the same thing about you."

"Well, maybe not the stupid and moralistic part, but I do give really good—okay, seriously, again with the head?" Alec rubbed the back of his head. He grimaced. 

Cindy stroked Alec's head in apology. She stepped back to study her work critically.

Alec shifted his weight from foot to foot. 

"Well?" Alec stammered because Cindy seemed to be staring right through him. "I'm good?"

"He thinks so." Cindy's smirk softened to something small and fond. 

Alec found himself ducking his head. 

"Yeah?" Alec murmured to his toes. 

"Last time we saw Logan, he was doing a lot better." Cindy's hand on Alec's arm was light, but he felt its weight sinking into his skin. "We know why." She elbowed Alec. "You're less jittery yourself."

Alec scratched his jaw. "So…you think we fit?"

"Stupid plus stupid adds up right." Cindy wiggled a hand in the air. "You two idiots fit like a glove."

Alec crooked a smile at her. "And this is a date?"

"We call it like we see it."

"Crap, should I get him flowers then?" Alec joked weakly.

Cindy snickered. "Only if you want the date to end early."

Alec looked glumly at his reflection. "It still might."

Cindy impatiently snapped her fingers towards him. "We'll fix that. Take the pants off—only the pants!" 

 

The phone picked up after three rings.

_"Alec?"_

Alec smiled into the receiver. He ignored the crazy behind him. _Jam Pony_ near quitting time tended to get rowdy—well, rowdier. Normal usually whips out his megaphone at this time to be heard.

"Got your present." The little envelope with the black bow tie came after his break via a smirking Original Cindy. There was no note, but Alec spent the rest of his shift touching the silk smooth fabric with his fingers. It also meant he could swing by Chinatown a day earlier. "I could have picked it up myself." He leered into the phone. "Don't you want to see if it fits?"

_"I think I got your neck size right."_

"I wasn't talking about my neck." Alec cackled at Logan's sigh. "Seriously, thanks. 14J's taste in neckwear was a little gross. I really could have picked it up later though." 

Alec straightened at the silence in the other end. "You're not going to be there."

_"One of my informants called in. I…I need to look into this. Tonight."_

Alec checked his watch. Three more hours until his shift ended. He originally wanted to hit Chinatown first to pick up his month of Tr—Screw it.

"When is it?" Alec asked casually. "We could meet up for a late dinner instead. Maybe a little dessert?"

_"…actually, I was heading out when you called."_

Cold water seemed to crash over Alec's head. "Now?" He checked the doorway for Sweeper, but there was no one lurking. 

_"Alec—"_

"I get off in a few hours," Alec said hastily before Logan could go off on his 'it's for your own good' speech again. "There's a stunt challenge over at _Crash_ tonight. I could check it out first. Maybe I'll pick up a couple of bucks there, ride up the ceiling or something." Yeah right and maybe wait around for Manticore to swoop in and go grabby hands at him.

_"Thinking of pulling a Linda Blair?"_

"Huh?"

_"Never mind. We need to have another movie night."_

"Ooh. Porn?"

_"No."_

Alec smirked. Logan's chuckle was low in his ears. It sent a ripple down his back. He adjusted his stance, huddling closer to the wall by the payphone because that pervert Brick was leering knowingly towards his way. Original Cindy put a stop to that by accidentally biking over the jerk's foot.

"So," Alec said louder to be heard above Normal's shrill "No biking on premises!", "I was thinking ten maybe? Think you'll be back by then?"

_"…I think so."_

Alec couldn't help himself. "You _sure_ you don't want company?"

_"Alec…"_

Alec's head vaguely pounded at the top of his skull. He wasn't sure if it was because he took a rationed dose or because Logan sounded resigned to argue with Alec, even if he later go off on his own anyway.

"Dude…you have a roomy backseat."

Logan laughed, half startled, half relieved. 

Alec scowled at the latter. He kept his voice light when he added, "Your car's surprisingly comfortable, babe. The things we could do…"

 _"I'm not giving my informant a peep show,"_ Logan said firmly. Alec could detect the edge of laughter in Logan's voice though. _"Flashing him is not how I normally pay my informants."_

The thought of some twitchy, skulking pervert getting his dues on Logan's skin flared hot in Alec's chest.

"Better not," Alec couldn't help snarling. 

The startled silence deflated the weird feeling ballooning in Alec's chest.

 _"Uh,"_ Logan sounded flustered, _"Ten sounds fine. It's a short meeting. In a public place. I don't foresee any problems."_

Alec hated the fact Logan was obviously trying to reassure him. 

"Sure," Alec said weakly. He rubbed his thumb across the payphone and the scraps of flyers that didn't come off completely. He watched dried up paper flutter off like yellow flakes. His hand twitched.

Alec shoved his hand in his pocket. He mentally mapped out the fastest route from _Jam Pony_ to Logan's place. 

"Want me to bring over pizza?"

 _"Sounds good."_

At least Logan sounded like he might be in the mood to entertain a slice tonight. Alec smiled wanly into the receiver. "You watch yourself. Make sure that cute ass of yours is back by ten."

 _"I don't understand this obsession of yours with my ass."_

"Babe, do you really want me to count the ways? Like how smooth and firm they sit in my han—"

 _"I'll see you at ten."_ Logan hurriedly hung up.

The dial tone droning in Alec's ear sounded so fatalistic. He looked at his watch again. He checked the door. His shoulders sagged.

"Watch yourself," Alec murmured into the receiver. Only the dial tone answered back.

Swallowing, Alec returned the phone to its cradle. He stared at the payphone, but it didn't ring. 

Finally, Alec forced himself to turn away from the payphone and caught the next hot run Normal threw at him.

 

As Alec glided down his line to his window, he smiled to himself when he saw the lights were on. Good, Logan could pay the pizza guy when he delivered later.

Alec's smile faded however, when he saw _Sweeper_ looming over a seated Logan in the dining area. He was gesturing wildly.

And then he started _pulling down his pants_.

"...not sure what I'm seeing here," Logan said, dazed. He didn't seem to hear Alec as he scrambled through the window.

Sweeper placed his fists on his hips as he rolled his pelvis towards Logan.

"Want to touch it?" Sweeper invited. He took a step closer.

With a snarl, Alec tackled Sweeper. They flew past Logan, backs sliding across the dining table. Files cascaded down. Logan shouted. Sweeper yelped. And something...whirred?

"Alec!" Logan wrapped two hands around Alec's raised fist. 

Alec blinked down at Sweeper. More accurately, at his crotch. Or lack of. 

"What the hell?" Alec gaped at what looked like long johns and a weird metal frame wrapped around the hips and legs.

"I may have compromised the mission," Sweeper said meekly, looking understandably freaked out about Alec straddling him, his fist inches from slamming into his throat.

"Why the hell were you taking your pants off?" Alec barked.

"I wanted to show him something in my pants!" Sweeper balked at Alec's growl. "No, no, there was nothing lewd with my intentions! I had something cool in my pants to show him!"

"Alec." Logan sounded deliberately mild. "It might be easier to let him explain off the floor."

Alec looked over to Logan's pursed mouth. He looked at Sweeper's face. 

He lowered his fist. 

"Fine," Alec grumbled. He climbed off Sweeper and watched him as the guy shakily got up. Sweeper hopped in place as he held his pants up with a fist.

The three stood in a semi-circle. 

Alec stared at Sweeper. Sweeper stared at them both. Logan stared at no one in particular.

Alec cleared his throat.

Logan's wheelchair creaked.

The last tower of files plopped off the dining table to join the rest on the floor.

"I'm guessing introductions aren't necessary?" Logan said evenly. "Alec?"

Sweeper blinked towards Alec. "I thought your name was Dean." He brightened. "Oh! A code name! For my assignment?"

"Assignment?" Logan repeated flatly.

Alec grimaced.

Out of nowhere, the phone rang.

Alec waved towards the phone. "That'll be Security calling about the pizza delivery coming up."

"Pizza!" Sweeper caught the crumpled wad of bills Alec chucked his way before bounding for the door.

"I hope you ordered enough for three," Logan said tightly.

Alec winced.

 

"So when you said you handled the situation…" Logan said low enough for Alec's ears only as he wheeled back so they could convene in the living room. His mouth pressed into a thin line. 

Alec rubbed the back of his neck.

"In my defense, I didn't think he was going to drop his pants."

Logan's chair turned sharply to face Alec. "He said he wanted to show me something."

"Yeah, I bet he did," Alec muttered. He smiled weakly at Logan's glower.

"It's really big," Sweeper offered as he returned with the pizza boxes balanced carefully in one hand. He set down the pizza on the dining table. "I thought he might be interested."

Alec's smile dropped. He set his jaw, turned on his heel.

Sweeper swept opened his arms and his pants fell to his ankles.

"Ta-da!"

"Again," Logan said, strained. He wheeled closer to Alec and settled one hand on his knee, maybe to grab Alec before he could jump on Sweeper's head. "What are we looking at here?"

Alec forced himself to look and not give into the urge to haul Logan over his shoulders and lock the guy in the bedroom. He scanned the thick black frame that wrapped around Sweeper's legs and—ew—crotch. 

Puzzle pieces began shuffling together: the tinny sound of gears, the rigid rebound, the high jumps.

Alec mentally slapped himself on the forehead.

"Exoskeleton suit." Alec reluctantly peeled away from Logan's hand and circled Sweeper. He made a face when Sweeper wiggled his ass as he turned to give them a full view.

"Military grade," Alec muttered to himself as he noted the gears on the hip joints. 

Past Sweeper, Logan tensed.

"But you're not military," Alec said hastily before Logan could grab the gun tucked between his leg and chair. "Definitely not military." 

"No, but I used to work in a military disposal unit." Sweeper beamed as if Alec paid him a compliment. Or bought him another burrito. 

"The government, in an effort to stay afloat after the Pulse, shut down half their military operations overnight." Logan flicked a glance towards Alec. His expression was unreadable. "Including a lot of classified projects." 

Alec shrugged. "Or so they say." He waved towards Sweeper. "A lot of stuff got mothballed. I'm guessing those things were going away for a rainy day." He scowled at Sweeper.

"Will you put your pants back on?"

"I was working in the warehouse, working the lift." Sweeper struggled to yank his pants up over the frame. A mix of whirs and squeaks serenaded them.

"So you stole these," Alec guessed. He made a face when Sweeper spun around, pants tumbling back down to his ankles.

"Oh no." Sweeper's eyes shone feverishly. "Destiny _gave_ them to me." 

Alec shot Logan a look as Sweeper told in a flurry of hands and words about how his lift crashed into the crates. He watched the side of Logan's face. Inwardly he winced at the set jaw. He swallowed when Logan didn’t look back.

"…and when Destiny saw it fit to cross our paths. I knew I was needed here!" Sweeper hastily yanked up his pants higher at Alec's look. "We fight for the same cause to save Seattle from the decay of the corrupt and the apathetic. I hope I've proved myself worthy."

"Prove yourself?" Logan repeated. His gaze dragged over to Alec. He narrowed his eyes. "I see."

Alec dropped into the couch. He stared at the reflection of Logan's chair on the windows.

"So perhaps I can be of use?" Sweeper finished with a hopeful look.

"I told you," Alec cut in, not turning around. "He works alone."

"I thought I did," Logan muttered. 

Alec winced.

Logan smiled tightly at Sweeper. "You seem to be helping Alec pretty well."

Sweeper did a kowtow. He scrambled for his pants when they tried to drop again. "I was honored he wanted my assistance in safeguarding the city and our leader."

"Leader?" Logan repeated flatly. "Safeguarding?"

Alec sagged deeper into the couch.

Sweeper finally caught on the terseness. He fumbled as he hiked his pants higher.

"I, uh," Sweeper stammered. "I need to see to my nightly patrol of the city. Yes! I will leave you two to your se—" He squawked at Alec frantically shaking his head and hands from behind Logan. Sweeper gulped; it looked the guy was going to choke on his aborted words.

"Thank you for your help before, Phil," Logan said sincerely. He rolled forward and offered his hand. Sweeper reached for it eagerly. His pants went back down in a plop.

" _Phil_? His first name is Stree—God damn it, pull up your pants before I staple them to your ass!"

Sweeper was trying to shake Logan's arm off while holding onto his pants with his fist at the same time. 

"It was an honor to finally meet you Mister _Eyes Only_ , not that I haven't met you before. After all those weeks on assignment following you, I feel like I've known you for—"

"I'll see you tomorrow," Alec hastened as he scrambled off the couch. "For your report, all right? Thanks for, uh, your vigilance."

"Of course! We who stan—oh, pardon—and sit alone in our watch of the city must always—"

"Okay, night. Bye." Alec hurried Sweeper out the door. He shoved a pizza box to the guy's hands. Sweeper brightened. "Don't use the elevators. Cameras. Fire stairs cameras on every five floors so watch out."

"Is the mission still ongoing?" Sweeper whispered, or at least he thought he whispered because Alec could feel Logan's glare increasing in intensity through his back.

"Tomorrow," Alec hissed as he shoved Sweeper out the door. He gave a sloppy salute—Lydecker was screaming in his head for that—in return to Sweeper's sharp one. He slammed the door. He stayed where he was to listen for Sweeper taking the stairs, not because Logan was worriedly quiet in the other room. 

Alec knocked his forehead on the door a few times. He took a deep breath before going back to the living room. 

 

The window gaped open when Alec had swung in to tackle Sweeper. Even though it was spring, the night air was still cold. He shut the window, armed the alarm and nudged his discarded rigging aside with his toe.

There was a peanut butter sandwich half eaten on the coffee table. Judging by the huge chomp marks, it wasn't Logan. 

Alec slowly turned around and found he was alone. Logan was in the kitchen, transferring the pizza onto plates. He blinked, unsure as he watched Logan pull milk out of the fridge as well.

The set jaw warded Alec off. He wanted to say something. He kept opening his mouth but each time, Logan's shoulders tensed and Alec's mouth would snap shut. He slumped against the back of the couch and stared at his boots.

Moments later, as the space filled with the smell of reheated cheese and spicy sauce, the wheelchair's shadow crossed over Alec's boots.

Alec raised his eyes. He blinked at the glass of goat's milk Logan extended out.

"Cindy said your hands were shaking a little last night," Logan said evenly. "And Phil mentioned it looked like you were having a headache this morning."

"Oh. I thought I had more pills in my locker. Didn't have any in my pack when I, uh..." Alec reached for the glass. When his fingers tapped the glass instead of curling, Alec dropped his hand.

"Shit," Alec mumbled.

"Careful." Logan pressed the glass to Alec's hands. He kept his hand over Alec's, warm and steady, as he helped guide the glass to Alec's lips.

Before Logan could pull back, Alec caught his wrist holding the now empty glass.

"Phil, huh?" Alec said lightly.

"You recruited him to be observant." A brief smile flittered across Logan's face. It died quickly. Alec's stomach lurched. 

"Look, I—"

"I have more pills in the medicine cabinet," Logan said abruptly. "Why don't you take some? I'll heat up some more goats' milk."

It felt like Alec was on a fast descending elevator. The bottom fell out from under him without warning. He leaned forward.

Logan's chair inched back.

"Logan. Listen—"

"You need to take the pills." Logan wheeled towards the kitchen. "You should go take them now."

Alec stared at Logan's back, throat working. He swallowed, nodding even though Logan couldn't see it. Alec levered off the couch and headed into the bedroom.

 

"I was about to shoot him."

Alec almost dropped his slice when Logan finally spoke. Dinner had been a terse, silent meal. The pizza, while warm and gooey, kept getting stuck in Alec's throat.

"What?" Alec managed as he gulped down. 

"I was finishing up with my informant when I heard a sound." Logan set down his fork as well. "I was about to fire when Phil showed up, babbling about how I needed to get out of there."

"Phil?" Alec screwed up his face.

"His name," Logan's eyes skewered Alec. "You never asked?"

Chastened, Alec shook his head. "We didn't exactly bond. I recruited him as an asset, not to be besties. I needed him to—"

"Follow me around and take pictures," Logan interrupted.

Alec grabbed another slice and took his time folding the slice into a square. He bit off a cheesy corner. 

"Yeah," Alec said, subdued.

Logan inhaled sharply. "He could have been killed. If someone caught him hanging around, they would assume he was part of—"

"They didn't." Alec took a huge bite of cheese and crust. "We never caught him back then. With that exoskeleton of his, he could get into a lot of out of reach places."

Logan dropped his eyes and glared at his second slice. Luckily, he's been too pissed off to not be 'in the mood' for pizza.

Alec chewed slowly. He kept looking over his glass to Logan, but he couldn't get a read off the bowed head. Shoulders slumping, Alec concentrated on his food. It was like he could hear the ticking of time counting down. He absently tugged at his ear.

"You seemed surprised at the exoskeleton," Logan said finally. 

Alec shrugged. "I knew he wasn't souped up like me. I heard something mechanical in his gait, but hadn't been able to figure out what. I had my theories though." He fidgeted. "I thought maybe he had prosthetic legs, but asking him about them…" He made a point not to look at Logan's chair because while it didn't bother him, asking Phil felt like it would hurt Logan all the same. 

"Theories," Logan repeated. "Yet you recruited him before you figured it out." He sat back and pushed his plate away. "Not like you to trust him so quickly."

Alec frowned. "I don't. But I recognized he would make a good asset and at the time, I was getting…" He cleared his throat. He looked directly at Logan, jaw set. "I couldn't be two places at once."

Logan winced. "Alec, you can't—"

"No, _you_ can't," Alec snapped. "Don't look at me like that. I'm not talking about you being able to do your save-the-world gig, I'm talking about doing it _alone_." 

Logan pursed his lips. "I told you—"

"Yeah, you have. Lots of time. Bullshit still sounds like bullshit no matter how many ways you say it."

"So you decided to take it upon yourself to have me followed? You lied to me when you would stay out of—"

"You didn't want _me_ in your business, but you didn't say anything about him."

Logan's mouth pressed thin. "And when he _reports_ back to you?"

Alec fixed his eyes on Logan. "Like when Cindy reports back to _you_?" He snorted. "My shaky hands? Not something that comes up in casual conversation."

"She doesn't tell me everything. She only tells me what she thinks I need to know in case I can help."

Alec's chin jutted out. "Exactly."

Logan exhaled. "Alec, you can't help. You know that. You can't risk drawing attention to yourself."

"I don't need to draw anything. If they were still looking, I could scratch my balls and a platoon of X-5s would drop down from the sky. But they're not looking."

"So scrubbing _acid_ on your bar code every few weeks was just for fun?" Logan's mouth pressed thing.

Even now, the back of Alec's neck burned with the memory. He covered it with a shrug. "Preventive measures."

"That's what I'm trying to do."

Alec's laugh tasted bitter in his mouth. "No, that's what you keep _telling_ yourself that's what you're trying to do." He darkened. "It's not just me though, is it? You don't want help from anybody unless you're telling me Matt Sung knows about everywhere you go, all the time." The pressure in Alec's chest built when Logan's mouth tightened at the corners. "Yeah, thought so."

Appetite gone, Alec shoved his plate away. He paused when a thought struck. Alec reviewed the conversation. 

"Why did you need to get out of there?"

Taken aback, Logan uttered a "What?"

" _Phil_ was following you for weeks, why did he break cover now?"

Logan's expression shuttered.

Alec's stomach lurched. He swore. "Shit. Someone else _was_ following you."

"Maybe. Phil thought so."

"Those jacked up muscle heads again?" 

"Maybe."

" _Maybe_?" Shouting was a close thing.

Logan pinched a spot between his eyes. "There are several cases _Eyes Only_ is working on. It's hard to pinpoint a suspect."

"You know, you're not making a convincing case for yourself."

Logan set his palms flat on the table; he looked ready to push off. 

"I'm handling it," Logan said tightly.

"Sure. You handled Bronck just fine—"

"Are we back to this again?"

"Hey! Eidetic memory here!" Alec gritted his teeth at Logan's unreadable expression. "I was only taking surveillance. I let you have all the fun being badass."

Logan sighed. "Even still, Alec, you shouldn't have had him following me at all. He could have gotten killed."

"You're right," Alec muttered. "He could have been killed. I shouldn't have him following you. _I_ should have been following you."

Logan looked at him sharply. 

"What if those crazy, irate Steelhead wannabes came out to say 'Howdy' again? What if it was one of _Eyes Only's_ other cases? How many bullets you think you can fire off before they grab you?" 

The sour taste of memory of Logan shoved into a van, of Bronck nonchalantly talking about selling Logan like he was a piece of meat, spurred the words tumbling out of Alec's mouth.

"How long do you think you can last an interrogation? How long before they pull out another hostage to make you talk? What if you did talk? What about _Eyes Only's_ informant network?"

"There's a contin—"

" _Fuck your contingency plan?"_

Logan hardened. His hands flexed towards making fists. He made a visible effort to unfurl his hands. He looked like a god damn Buddha, a constipated one.

"Alec…" Logan shook his head wearily. "Why do we keep coming back to this?"

Manticore trained Alec to see three steps ahead. He could see the chasm they were both going to fall into. He took a deep breath and forced his jaw to unclench. He lowered his voice.

"Look, I wasn't interfering, I wasn't poking my nose into _Eyes Only_ 's investigations, I only told Sweep— _Phil_ , to take some photos of you and make sure you weren't naked in any of them." 

Logan's eyebrow twitched.

Encouraged, Alec spread opens his hands. "Look, it wasn't even me stalking you. All right? I got someone to stalk for me: a stalker proxy! That's gotta count for something, right?"

Logan scrubbed his mouth with a hand, but Alec caught the upturned corner of his lips.

"And believe me, I am pretty much regretting my decision about recruiting him. If I knew the guy was going to strip in front of you the minute you batted your eyes—"

Logan made a sound. "In his defense, he had 'something cool in his pants to show me'."

"Yeah, if he kept waving his crotch in your face like that," Alec grumbled, "I'd have something cool to show him too: my fist." Alec bristled at the eyebrow arched his way. "What?"

Logan smiled wanly. "Nothing. I…" He shook his head. "No, wait. We…This isn't nothing. We keep going back to this and getting nowhere. This, Alec, this can't continue."

The ground reeled under Alec's feet. 

"What?" Alec managed.

"The watching, the following me around, putting yourself at risk."

Oh. Alec gulped down the urge to vomit that came out of nowhere. 

Logan made to reach for Alec's hands. He retreated before he completed the move.

"If I ask you to stop," Logan said quietly. "No more following me, not you, not Phil, no one, would you do it?"

Alec didn't hesitate. "No."

Logan looked pained.

"I'm not sorry. And I'm not going to stop," Alec murmured. "You're just going to have to suck it up that someone gives a shit whether you live or die." His eyes snapped up at Logan's hitched breath.

"Someone has to," Alec said, low. "Because apparently you don't." His throat worked when Logan shook his head. "No as in I'm wrong that you don't give a shit?" He got up and went around to Logan's side. He sat down in a chair next to him.

"Or no as in you don't believe someone does?"

Alec swallowed as he gripped Logan's chair and carefully turned it towards him.

"Which one is it?" Alec whispered. He grabbed Logan's wrists. He rubbed them together and squeezed the cool fingers. The bones seemed to grate together when he did. 

"Which one is it?" Alec repeated. He could hear the pleading creeping into his voice. 

Logan must have heard it too. He lifted his dull eyes from their combined hands. He gazed into Alec's face. He tried for a smile, maybe for a reassuring one, but it looked so tired, Alec's gut clenched as if someone had punched it.

"Sometimes I don't even know," Logan admitted.

Alec's throat worked. He gripped Logan's hands hard and it wasn't right at all that Logan looked surprised at that, that he glanced down as if he was surprised Alec's hands were still there.

"Okay," Alec croaked because it felt like something needed to be said. He held on tight. "Okay."

 

Finishing dinner felt pointless now yet ending the night early felt too much like giving up as well. Alec followed Logan into the living room. There, in the dark, the city outside a carpet of privileged lights, Alec coaxed Logan to lie down on the couch. There, in the living room, reminiscence of the first time they met, Alec took Logan apart with his mouth and greedy fingers. He tasted Logan's skin, he tasted Logan's mouth, he tasted Logan's breath. He devoured Logan's moans, swallowed his gasps as he fucked Logan's fist hard. He didn't give Logan a chance to think. After Logan shuddered through his orgasm, Alec took him apart again, driving Logan to oversensitivity. 

Alec fucked Logan's fist again and again. Hard enough Logan's palm flushed and cramped. Hard enough, Alec's thighs ached with the strain. Hard enough, Alec came over his chest and stomach, his come painting Logan to remind him someone else touched him, someone else gave a damn.

Then, as they both panted in the dark, Alec did it again.

 

The couch was a tight fit. Logan ended up sandwiched between Alec and the couch. Their legs were tangled together, Alec's feet braided with Logan's cold ones. He looped an arm under Logan's back and draped one arm over his stomach.

Alec didn't want to ever move.

Logan's head rested on the armrest, his shoulder acting as a pillow for Alec's head. His skin was warm, the chest hair matted with drying sweat under Alec's cheek. He splayed a possessive hand between Alec's shoulders. The other rested over Alec's on his stomach.

Alec's clothes were...somewhere, maybe bundled with Logan's. Logan's glasses were carefully folded in the wheelchair. 

Even though it was dark, Alec could make out Logan staring at the ceiling. 

Alec stroked the side of Logan's face. His knuckles lingered on the rough stubble gathered on Logan's jaw.

"Hey," Alec murmured. "Want to continue this in bed? I think our backs will thank us for it."

Logan hesitated.

"You need to get back to work?" Alec settled fingertips on Logan's mouth. He felt his lips parted.

Logan exhaled sharply. "I should."

Alec grazed his teeth over the contours of Logan's right pec. Logan fidgeted. 

"You sure about that?" Alec reached behind and stroked the puckered hole. "You're still wet and you're finally a little looser." He slipped two fingers into that dark heat. He felt Logan shudder. "You're still sensitive, aren't you? Maybe I wouldn't need three fingers to make you come again."

Logan's breath quickened. 

"Do you still need more?" Alec murmured as he stroked the warmth inside. The lube was still slick around him. He felt Logan's cock trapped between them filling slowly. Alec applied more pressure.

"Alec..." Logan's hands curled on Alec's shoulders. "Oh God…"

"Can you feel it?" Alec whispered. "Can you feel how much I give a damn about you?" He nibbled Logan's ear. His fingers darted in and out in a series of deep jabs. Logan gasped into his ear.

Alec caught the soft lobe between his teeth. He tugged even as his fingers left Logan's body to wrap around Logan's semi hard cock.

Logan whimpered Alec's name.

"Do you know how much I wanted to keep you here?" Alec murmured as he roughly pumped Logan. "I keep imagining you out there: all those eyes looking at you, all those hands touching you…" His voice wobbled. "H-hurting you." 

Logan whispered Alec's name now. He turned towards Alec.

Sighing, Alec settled back against Logan. 

"I'm not apologizing," Alec muttered. "Not for that." He knew they both understood it wasn't for the heady smell of sex between them.

"It's too dangerous to get you involved," Logan croaked. He dropped his head onto Alec's shoulders. He exhaled, breath catching as Alec jerked him off, pulling until a thin trickle wept over Alec's fingers.

"Like you're picking daisies to do your hacks." Alec wrapped his arm tighter around Logan. He wished it wasn't so easier to wind around his middle.

"Damn it, Logan, next time I'm cramming a steak down your throat." Alec ran a hand down Logan's ribs. "I shouldn't be able to count these."

Logan exhaled. "Sorry."

Alec frowned against his skin. "Why the hell are you apologizing to me?"

"I...I don't know..." Logan absently rubbed a circle over Alec's shoulders. "Everything seemed to taste like ash before." He closed his eyes when Alec started tapping his fingers down the length of his body.

"Trying to taste anything then felt like it was so much work," Logan said, low. "And when it became clear what must have happened to Bling, because of me, the thought of trying to taste anything felt…exhausting."

Alec rubbed his fingers down the sleek skin of Logan's belly and the soft vulnerable fold that joined his hip and thigh. He felt Logan relaxing under his touch. 

"Everything tasted the same in Manticore," Alec said at last. He traced Logan's belly button with a finger, dipping and circling. Logan's stomach tensed minutely under his touch.

"You get the same gray colored protein enriched, modified meal three times a day or, if you screwed up, none at all." Alec's fingers walked up Logan's stomach. "They were kind of like that: all or nothing."

Alec pressed in closer to Logan. "When I was sent out, you know, out there, I still ate their nutrition bars, ate their stuff, never touched foods from Outside. They didn't want us tasting it."

"They kept everything within their control." Logan should have sounded sleepy. It was late enough. It was easier to tell him, mind half-muzzled in the dark.

"First day I left," Alec forced himself to go on, "I took nothing with me except some tryptophan and a roll of twenties. First food I bought was a burger."

Logan's hand was drawing something on Alec's skin. "What did it taste like?"

Alec paused. He ran the tip of his tongue across his lower lip. "It tasted salty, greasy, way too overcooked. I never had ketchup or mustard before. Man, I piled that crap on that night."

Logan's chuckle was a pleasant sensation on his skin.

Alec pressed his mouth onto Logan's shoulder. "Then I threw up a couple of hours later."

The body underneath him stilled.

"Man, what a waste." Alec idly brushed a finger along Logan's clavicle, lingering on the dent. "My body wasn't used to anything but that proportioned nutritional garbage." He felt Logan's arm slip around him. "Took me a few days, but we X-5s adapt."

A hesitant kiss dropped on top of Alec's head. Logan exhaled unsteadily into Alec's hair.

Alec frowned. "I'm not like traumatized or anything. I don't miss Manticore cuisine either." He shrugged. "But these days, I'm willing to try everything, taste everything. The idea of tasting that formulated stuff again makes me want to throw up now."

"Now I wish I served you more than pizza tonight."

Alec flicked the tip of Logan's nose.

Logan drowsily snorted. He settled against Alec. Despite his claims he needed to work, Logan made no move.

"Seriously," Alec whispered. "Let's go to bed. I wouldn't mind tasting you for a few hours."

Logan poked Alec in the ribs.

"Oh my God, you have such bony fingers. I think you stabbed me."

Another poke. Alec wheezed.

"I think that punctured something. Quick, give me CPR."

After the _CPR_ was administered, Alec wiggled closer to bracket Logan between him and the couch. He didn't mention the bedroom again. Logan said nothing more about working.

The dark suspended everything around them. It invited no sound, no arguments, no lies. It was just dark. It was only them, here on the couch, in the quiet apartment, in a brown-out Seattle, in fucked up U.S of A. 

Alec dreaded the coming daybreak's intrusion, slicing into their vacuum, reminding them of things still unsettled between them. 

"It's not that I don't give a damn about my life," Logan suddenly said. He stared blankly at the ceiling. 

Alec could make out Logan blinking rapidly in the dark. 

"I'm not using protecting you as an excuse," Logan murmured. "I'm not trying to leave you out of it, or anyone else, because I don't give a damn about what happens to me."

Alec moved until his ear was over Logan's heart.

"I give more of a damn about what happens to _you_. To everyone."

Alec dropped a soft kiss over the skin stretched over a fragile heart beat.

"Sometimes," Logan said softly, "it just feels like so much work to care about my own life as well." He covered his eyes with his forearm. 

Alec pressed his lips to Logan's chin. "Then let someone else do it."

Logan scoffed tiredly. 

Alec wanted to gather Logan up like a puzzle, collected all the jagged pieces Logan gave up trying to make fit; he wanted to hunch over Logan, shield every inch of raw, exposed skin until Logan became whole again.

"Let me care."

Logan slowly lowered his arm.

Alec was grateful for the dark. He spoke to Logan's throat. His fingers stuttered over Logan's body.

"You watch over who you think you need to watch over." Alec stroked Logan's throat slowly. He felt every swallow.

"Let me watch over you." Alec caressed Logan's pec, over the _thump-thump_ he never tired of hearing. 

"I won't interfere," Alec went on. "Not unless it goes south. Just…let me, well, let us, watch over you. Let me give a damn about you. Okay?" He wrote Logan's name, then _Alec_ over the same spot. Even though it was too dark to see, Alec propped himself higher on his elbow and stared into Logan's eyes.

Somehow, Logan found Alec's gaze. His hands curled around Alec's shoulders. 

"Even if you say no," Alec whispered, "we both know I'll find a way to keep an eye on you." He brushed his lips down Logan's jaws. "I'll be okay. You're looking out for me, right?"

Logan's fingers dug into Alec in affirmation. 

"Always," Logan said hoarsely. He closed his eyes. His throat worked.

"All right," Logan croaked. "All right. Just promise me you'll only watch, you won't get involved, you won't—"

Alec nuzzled his nose over Logan's. Absently, he thought about a fancy mansion with its fancy desk with its computer. He pushed it aside as he cupped Logan's face with both hands.

"Promise," Alec murmured before lowering his mouth over Logan's to seal the deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(hangs head)_ There is no point for a rerun of apologies, but yes, **...**


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: implied underaged sex (dub con), prostitution and death. Nothing graphic, but by no means pleasant. _Please_ heed my warning!
> 
> Spoilers: dialogue adapted from _I Am And A Camera_ and _The Berrisford Agenda_

Sweeper looked like he was going to cry.

Alec took a step back. He couldn't go far; Sweeper's numerous crates and makeshift drying racks for film were everywhere. It was like standing in the center of some rusty Stonehenge. He wondered where the guy slept. He had offered Sweeper the latest hole he squatted in; he spent more nights with Logan these days anyway. But Sweeper had balked and refused.

"I am honored." Sweeper held the box with both hands; Alec had swapped it for his latest surveillance photos. "This represents a new stage in our partnership."

Brown eyes glittered a little too brightly. Alec edged further back. Sweeper looked like he wanted to use his exoskeleton and jump all the way to Alec for a hug.

"Come on, man," Alec said awkwardly, "It's only breakfast."

Sweeper glanced down the take out box of eggs and pancakes Alec had skimmed—and Logan pretended not to notice—off the unusually huge meal delivered to the penthouse a few hours ago. They woke up tangled within their embrace this morning. And then no one felt inclined to move to do something as mundane as breakfast.

Alec was stunned to realize he would have been fine doing nothing more than watch Logan sleep. Weird. He didn't think catching the guy drooling and wuffling quietly into his pillow riveting. There was an inexplicable urge to ruffle Logan's hair. And when Logan sleepily blinked awake, Alec was grinning stupidly at him. The thing was though, Logan had smiled back. 

But there still were juts and angles and sharp edges to Logan that made Alec's gut lurch whenever he ran a possessive hand over them. And they weren't going away by skipping meals. 

"I know the discovery of my assignment ended our mission." Sweeper stared woefully at the food. 

"More like tweaked it a bit," muttered Alec. A compromise was made this morning: Alec wouldn't send Sweeper in to trail Logan until after his ten o'clock appointment. And Alec wouldn't ask Logan why he needed to meet his attorney with twenty grand in unmarked, non-sequential bills. They shook hands on the agreement by way of Logan finishing his plate and Alec finishing _him_ off, leaving him naked and spent on the couch. Fun times.

"Our leader was not aggrieved with us then?" Sweeper asked. 

"Aggrieved?" Alec made a face. "With me, maybe. You?" He waved towards the food. "Nah. Go eat."

Sweeper cradled the box to his chest.

"Seriously, man. What's with vigilantes and the need to not eat? I'm losing a kilo just looking at you people."

Sweeper canted his head. That funny camera attachment went the other way.

"What about you?"

"Huh?"

Sweeper shifted from foot to foot. Servos whined and a gear along Sweeper's left knee squeaked. 

Alec stared at Sweeper, waiting.

"What?" Alec asked loudly when it looked like Sweeper was playing statue.

"I failed our mission," Sweeper declared. "Are _you_ aggrieved with me?"

"Me?" Alec gaped at Sweeper. 

"You told me to watch our leader without revealing myself." Sweeper's attached lens drooped with his mouth. "I failed the assignment."

_"Eliminate the target tomorrow. According to reports, he takes his daughter to school in the morning."_

No, failure was missing the target. Failure was unable to hold his breath in that damn pool for longer than thirteen minutes and nine seconds. Failure meant shoved into a sterile white room and your eyes taped open. 

Failure was not stopping her from getting into the ca—Failure wasn't allowed.

"Trust me," Alec said gruffly. His eyes slid away to study a crack on the wall behind Sweeper. "If I was upset over a failed mission, you would know it the second you dropped the dime." His jaw flexed. Despite his words, Alec heard the stopwatch ticking in his ears, the weight of Lydecker's disappointment boring a bloody hole in his back. 

_"You're not in charge of this mission, 494. Your job, and your only thought, is to follow our orders."_

Alec rolled back his shoulders. 

"No," Alec said. It sounded too loud in his ears. He forced his voice lower, but he couldn't soften the rasp in his voice.

"You didn't fail any mission. We're still in sentry mode. Our objectives remain intact," Alec told Sweeper. "I'm not…aggrieved. It's fine. Seriously, man. Eat up. Wasting food is not cool."

Immediately, a pancake was devoured/consumed/absorbed. Alec's eyebrow rose. Sweeper gnawed on a sausage link with way too much enthusiasm for questionable meat byproduct. 

"Regardless, I regret my actions." Sweeper held up a sausage like a tiny, salty sword. "At the time, I thought there was imminent danger. I overreacted."

Alec shrugged. "Stop parading in front of him in your skivvies and we're square."

Sweeper stopped chewing. He stared solemnly at Alec. It was hard to take the guy seriously though with egg on his dirt smudged chin.

"I would never encroach on your property," Sweeper said gravely. He blinked at Alec's sputter.

"What? No! I mean, don't encroach, but I'm not like saying I thought you would, not that you could, but— _Geez_ —I don't own the guy."

Sweeper's thick brow furrowed. "Are you sure? I detected a rise in pheromones when you were in his presence."

Alec's jaw dropped. " _What?_ " He squinted at the vigilante. "Are you sure you weren't born out of a blender or something? You can sme—" When Sweeper grinned cheekily, Alec's eyebrow rose.

"Ha ha. Congratulations, you discovered your sense of humor." Alec smirked. "Watch it. Pretty soon, people might think you're funny."

Sweeper guffawed. He piled eggs and sausage onto a pancake which he rolled up and happily ate it like a burrito. 

Alec hopped on the cleanest crate in Sweeper's dump. He perched on it and watched Swee—no, _Phil_. Logan made some sort of frowny face every time Alec referred to the guy by his alias. He reminded Alec Phil was a man—albeit a strange man—whose family must miss or wonder about him.

A pang stirred in Alec's gut. He wondered if anyone in his platoon—his so-called siblings as Logan seemed to think of them as—wondered where _he_ went after Berrisford. Or did Manticore wipe X-494 out of their minds with some clever subliminal sessions and a bone saw? 

Alec looked around the cluttered hovel, seeing it truly for the first time. He wondered if it was Logan had said; was there someone wondering where Phil gone? He looked past the stacks of stained boxes and salvaged metal parts and saw the gaps in between the junk. There were no neighbors, no brats crying they were hungry, no one banging kettles around to make jasmine tea, not even a little old lady watching Chinese hockey upstairs.

The place looked kind of lonely.

Phil's loud munching and the _thump-thump_ sound of the ventilating fans filled the silence.

Alec idly kicked back. His heels struck the pile of boxes under the one he sat on. He watched Sweeper cutting a bite of egg into two smaller pieces. Alec cleared his throat.

"So, uh, Phil, right?"

"You can call me Street Sweeper." Phil stopped eating long enough to come up for air. Alec wondered what the guy ate when Alec wasn't buying him burritos.

"Secret identities and such," Sweeper said. "Right, Dean?"

Alec grimaced. "About that…" He gestured towards himself. "Alec is fine."

"No code name?" 

Alec's shoulders lifted. "Nah. Just…Alec. Dean was only a…" He fidgeted on the crate.

"Look, it's Alec, all right?"

Sweeper frowned mildly. The last of the sausage dangled in his grip. "That might not be a good idea. We don't want the enemy to find us."

"The…enemy?"

The sausage wagged in the air with each count. 

"The corrupt, the apathetic, the thieves in the night, the murderers who walk brazen in the daylight."

"Oh." It was like listening to a grubbier version of Logan Cale. Only there was less cute, less brooding and less coffee.

"They won't. The enemy. They won't find me. Well. Us." Still, a flicker of electricity crawled under Alec's skin. Sweeper's enemies sounded more warm and fuzzier than Alec's. He absently scratched a spot on his neck. "He won't let that happen." 

Alec blinked when he heard himself. That came out of nowhere. It sounded right in his ears though. 

Sweeper chewed thoughtfully. "Our leader is resourceful." His eyes darted left and right. He lowered his voice. " _Eyes Only_ has watched over this city well despite his infirmity." 

Alec resisted rolling his eyes. "Your place is secure. I checked. I always do." Plus, a little soldering here and there sealed up most of the holes and cracks. So no one can listen in. And if the welds kept out more of the wind and rain too; well bonus secondary effect. 

Sweeper beamed at Alec. "Your vigilance is appreciated, fellow crime fighter!"

"Yup, that's me. Crime fighter. Yippee." Alec snorted. "Don't get carried away. I'm no _Eyes_ Only."

"True." Sweeper wiped his mouth with a dirty sleeve. "There is only one." His eyes glazed over. "His dedication is admirable."

The growl lodged in Alec's chest was large enough to choke around. He exhaled slowly. Logan would not like his personal stalker stomped into itty bitty pieces.

"What about you?" Alec asked before he did something Logan would regret later. 

"Me?" The other appeared surprised at the question. 

"I mean, we know why our… _leader_ …does it: downtrodden, disillusioned, blah, blah, blah. But what about you? All that stuff about destiny? Really? Did you have to interview for that?" Alec glanced around. He made a face.

"Because it doesn't look like it pays real well." Alec nodded towards the droopy camera headgear. "Your photos were good. You caught some good stuff. Maybe a journalist or something? You can still fight the fight and you'll get paid. I think His Holiness knows some people."

Sweeper smiled, clearly flattered. He tugged at a dangling chin strap.

"I'm not much of a writer," Sweeper mumbled. He mimed a pen scribbling in the air. "I'm a voracious reader though." 

"Er, you could be a photojournalist then," Alec said, thinking quickly. He made a face at the surroundings. "Gotta be better than this." 

Sweeper studied Alec for a beat. There was something sobering about his expression now.

With a nod to himself, Sweeper left the crate he used as a table for the food. Despite how much the guy went _nom, nom, nom_ over it, he didn't glance behind him at the remaining food now.

Eyebrow arched, Alec tracked the other as he took something off one of the pillars. He squinted at the column, zeroing in on one littered surface. It was filled with yellowed photos of the same person. He said nothing as Sweeper made his way back, the retrieved item cradled in his cupped hands.

Wordlessly, Alec took the brittle photo at Sweeper's mute prodding. He studied the picture of a smiling little girl; he glanced back at Phil.

"You two have the same eyes, similar jaw line. Your sister," Alec guessed.

Brown eyes were glued to the photo Alec held. "Francesca. She was nine when I took that picture." A shy smile flitted across his round face. "With my first camera."

"Nice name." Alec handed the print back. "Older? Younger?"

"Younger." Sweeper smoothed out the square with his fingertips. He was careful not to leave smudges on it.

Alec glanced back at the pillar wallpapered with her photos. He turned back to the photo in the other's hands.

Oh.

"Sorry, man," Alec offered, lamely. Because what else is there to say? Because platitudes and sympathies did squat. Dead was dead.

"I couldn't stay after her death," Sweeper murmured. He looked like another person when he's not smiling. He stroked the photo before he set it down on the table behind him, away from the food. Despite the shadows cast over his face, the guy suddenly looked young. He looked lost.

"She wouldn't be deceased if it weren't for me."

For a brief moment, the words felt like an echo rattling in Alec's head. He gripped his knees and tried not to think about pianos, car bombs and ventilators. "How long ago did you leave?"

"Eight years, two months, seven days." 

Alec nodded, more to himself. In a sense, Sweeper was older then. He was Out longer than Alec had.

"Long time," Alec commented. He hesitated. "What happened?"

Sweeper fumbled with the photo, turning it around and around at the corners.

Alec scratched his chin. "Hey. If you don't want to talk about it, it's fine."

Sweeper's lips curled up but the smile dropped quickly. 

"We were just kids." Sweeper cleared his throat. He flicked a guilty look at the box of food he consumed. "Our mother worked three jobs so we could have two square meals a day." 

"The Pulse took a lot of money out of a lot of pockets." Alec thought about the warm barracks and tasteless food that came even after the Pulse happened. The lights had flickered a lot after that event. Training was cut short for three whole days before it was back to business. Manticore pitched more of a shit fit when the First Ones and Logan's Max went AWOL.

"Fran…" Sweeper faltered over her name. "She wasn't a well child. She couldn't walk right or talk very well. So I did all of that for her." 

"That's what brothers do," Alec offered hesitantly. Hell if he knew that was true though. His so-called _brother_ went on some serial killing rampage and inking dead priests' necks. But it sounded like a thing Logan would say. He said it because Phil stared at his ratty boots like Logan stared into his fireplace.

Phil tried another smile. The guy may be weird, but he was a polite weirdo. 

"So…She got sick?" Alec wished he hadn't asked because Phil sagged where he stood. He looked like he might melt into a puddle like that witch did in Logan's _Wizard of Oz_ movie.

"Men broke in to steal our television," Phil scuffed his toe into the uneven floor. A gear in the exoskeleton whined. 

"She got scared and wouldn't stop crying. I told them they could take whatever they wanted."

Alec's insides chilled. He wondered if this was what Logan had felt with Bling: dreading what must have happened, not wanting to know for sure yet not knowing made his insides twist.

"The more the men kept yelling at my sister to shut up, the more scared she got." Phil blinked rapidly at his boots. Alec stared at his own. 

"Then one of 'em hit her."

Alec's breath left in a whoosh.

Phil was barely audible under the metallic thumps of the fans' blades. 

"She didn't make any more noise after that."

Alec bit his lower lip. He kept his eyes down, giving Phil the chance to wipe the suspicious moisture in his eyes.

"I was in charge." Phil sniffled loudly. Alec continued studying his boots. 

"I was her big brother. I was in charge. My sister couldn't help herself, but I should have calmed her down or stopped them. These men…" Phil exhaled, his voice stronger.

"That's why I do this, to try and make up for what I didn't do back then." Phil's mouth twisted. "In a way, she showed me my destiny."

Alec wondered what freakish destiny _his_ cooked up life tried to show him. What did Rachel's death showed him other than how good 494 was at his job?

"I wish she wasn't the one to show me," Phil murmured. "But if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have left. And then I wouldn't have been working at the warehouse and then—"

"Enter, Street Sweeper," Alec finished.

Phil's grin was more a grimace, but Alec thought it counted.

"So that's your superhero origins, huh?" Alec ventured tentatively. He was relieved when Phil brightened somewhat. The guy was still kind of ragged around the edges, but at least he didn't look or sound like he was going to burst into tears. Alec wasn't sure how to respond if it happens. 

"I was a late bloomer." Phil canted his head. "And you? When did you discover your powers? What happened? You get bit by a spider? Struck by lightning?"

"My powers?"

Phil mimicked jumping with loud sound effects. His arms flailed in a parody of Alec taking a swing. 

"It was drilled into me at a very young age," Alec quipped. He pressed a thumb into his jeans, over the line of his femur, over the phantom ache. "But like you, destiny bitch slapped me with reality."

"Oh. Did someone important to you die?" Phil's fingers scrambled for the photo again.

Alec's stomach did a flip. "She was…Someone died…yeah, she was important. Guess you could say she showed me my destiny."

Phil studied Alec. "You left someplace, too."

Alec grimaced. He aborted a move to reach up to his neck.

"No," Alec corrected Phil. The words felt strange leaving his mouth. "I escaped."

Phil's eyebrow furrowed. "Escaped?" His eyes rounded. "Were you captured by the enemy?"

No, he _was_ the enemy. 

Alec held his tongue. He shrugged. 

Phil set the photo back down. "Then we share a common past and future. We both want to stop the monsters destroying our city."

Alec squirmed, but he didn't correct Phil.

Phil's gaze glittered. He tilted back the camera lens dangling dangerously close to his eyes. The crooked headgear gave him a maniacal look.

"They take and corrupt and kill," Phil said. A thread of anger twisted in his voice. "Without remorse, driven by greed." He gestured to his legs. "Monsters. I knew when I was given this, I needed to stop them."

Alec swallowed. "Monsters, huh?"

"Did you know even our own government employs such beasts?" 

Breakfast gurgled painfully in Alec's gut. "The government, huh?"

Phil was growing louder. "Agents of the corrupt. Possibly ninjas."

"Uh…ninjas?"

Phil karate-chopped the air. He nearly took his own eye out. "Or assassins."

A lump lodged in Alec's throat. "Assassins?"

"Death in their blood, killing at every strike. Armies of them, lurking to strike. Monsters of a corrupt and unsympathetic government."

Alec checked around the hideout. The walls vibrated _Monster_ around them before the fans' noise swallowed the echoes.

_"You're not in charge of this mission, 494. Your job, and your only thought, is to follow our orders."_

"They're not all…Some could have been only following orders, you know." Alec cringed at the sound of his voice. It was like he could hear the lie underneath. It didn't drown out the echo in his head. 

Phil shook his head vehemently. "A poor excuse to do evil." The guy's posture snapped straight. Lydecker would have been proud. 

_He stood there, watching as she climbed into the car with Berrisford. He turned away before the door shut. When the heat from the blast touched his neck, he flinched._

_"Well done, 494," a voice breathed into his earwig. "Wait in the location for extraction."_

_"Y-yes sir."_

"Yeah, it is kind of a poor excuse, huh?"Alec averted his eyes. He stared at the photo behind Phil. Alec wished he had a picture of Rachel, but he left everything in the grass where he hid, waiting for the extraction.

Phil paused. He smiled faintly at Alec as he calmed down. "But we found ourselves here, our paths crossed, fighting the same fight: fighting the evil in our city. You, me and _Eyes Only_."

Alec's face felt like it was cracking when he smirked wanly. "Funny how destiny works." 

Phil nodded, the familiar eager bobbing back sent the odd lens attachment askew again. "Destiny works in mysterious ways." He shut the box of food and carefully set it aside. He rubbed his left palm down his pants. His leg chirped and twittered in a whirl of gears and sprockets in response.

"It is an honor to be in this fight with you." Phil stuck out his hand. There was a smudge of what looked like ink and ketchup on his knuckles he couldn't completely rub off.

Alec's hand met Phil's halfway.

"Uh, yeah. Likewise." 

"I am looking forward to working with you. It's an honor, a privilege to be allowed into your noble cause."

"Seriously, enough with all the honor and noble stuff." Alec made a face. He wished Phil stopped looking like Alec was all shiny and sparkly like. It felt weird; like a shirt he wasn't meant to wear but did anyway. It was kind of nice, in a weird, unaccustomed sort of way. It didn't give him a warm, wiggly feeling like whenever Logan glanced over with that soft smile. 

Still, it was nice. 

Alec waved Phil off. "And dial down on all that 'Yippee' and 'Yay' attitude, will ya? Yeesh."

"I can't help it. Destiny has granted me such an opportunity!" Phil spread his arms wide and yikes, there was a real possibility of a hug looming.

"We're banded together to retake our future! It lies in the hands of a trio of superheroes brought together by destiny!" Phil flapped his arms like he was taking flight. "Destiny!"

Alec snorted. "Yeah. Destiny is a funny sort of bitch like that."

Phil dropped his arms. He frowned. "You shouldn't malign her, Dean. She works in ways, leading us down roads we may not immediately understand—"

"Uh huh. I told you. Just call me Alec."

"But we should stay incognito lest our enemies rally together and—"

"Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, finish your damn food. Can't meet destiny on an empty stomach, Phil."

 

Someone took his corner.

Normal's frenetic _bip, bip, bip_ sent Alec out to 49 Wangle today. Alec normally would have ridden past the spot, pedaling in a furious pace to get back to _Jam Pony_. He had spotted the shadow edging a corner he long thought abandoned. And when he saw the figure under the familiar torn canopy, something hard slammed against his ribs at the sight.

Alec stared at the guy, no, _kid_ , standing on the corner of Wangle and Twelfth in front of what used to be a coffee shop. The windows were cloudy with grit and old _For Rent_ flyers. It was the best spot in the entire network of alleys and broken buildings. It was in-between sector gates. The street lamps were long in disrepair. It was dark. It was isolated. It was perfect for a dirty old man trying to get his rocks off without the risk of being recognized. 

The kid leaned into the brick wall, legs crossed, his pointy chin jutted out, his big brown eyes tracking each prospective customer under too long frosted tipped brunette bangs. He wore a shirt that looked too tight to be his and jeans too big to stay on his narrow hips. His hands looked too large for his body. His mouth was pink, unmarked (for now) and pursed like he was about to blow out a candle. He wore a wide eyed look borne out of hunger; yet another post-Pulse citizen desperate to pay the bills. The kid looked like he was lost and looking for his mommy. Judging the way the kid winked at people walking by, he was well aware of how he looked and was more than willing to exploit it.

Alec hid at the opposite corner and watched the kid's sly smile dim as each potential john walked past him without a second glance. He swallowed as the kid bit his lower lip; he was no doubt thinking about the hours slipping away without so much as a Twenty slipped into his pocket.

The bike creaked forward as Alec leaned his weight into the pedals.

This wasn't his business. Hell, Alec closed shop. If the kid wanted to take his spot, fine. It was a primo spot; plenty of pervs and cock deniers shuffle by. Alec didn't need it. Breaking and entering was lucrative enough and his meals were coming from _Chez Cale_ so his expenses were—

Shit.

Alec tensed when he saw him lurking in the early evening's shadows across from Twelfth; a man with greasy blonde hair and in a worn gray suit once considered expensive. He had introduced himself as Mr. Smith to some. Uh huh. Sure.

The oversized ring on Smith's right middle finger was familiar. The class ring shaped like a lion's head had left a dent on a couple of guys before they got paid for getting down on their knees. He heard Walker never came back to his piece of Harren Street after Smith took more than the Twenty they had agreed upon. 

Alec never crossed paths with Smith, but he'd always made a point to keep an ear on the ground and an eye on all the exits. X5s were adaptable, not stupid. He once saw Smith lingering by his corner, circling the perimeter like some kind of perverted shark. The guy never approached Alec though. Too bad, Alec would have very much liked to put a dent or ten on _him_ , no matter how short he was on Tryptophan.

Even from the distance, Alec caught the moment Smith spotted the new kid. The slicked head tilted to consider the newcomer. Gray eyes traced the outline of the bony frame. 

Thin lips curved. 

The tip of a tongue flicked out.

A hand reached down, caressing under the safety of a broken street lamp diagonal from the corner. Smith fondled himself through his slacks as he watched another uninterested john walk by.

Alec looked at the kid. He looked at Smith. His jaw clenched. He gripped the handlebars. 

Normal was probably freaking out right now. The _Jam Pony's_ pager rang three times since Alec stopped. 

The bicycle rolled forward another inch.

Alec needed to pick up dinner at _The Green Pearl_ ; Logan absentmindedly commented during lunch of having a craving for their seafood fried rice. He planned on dropping by with it while Logan was still _in the mood_ for it.

The pedals squeaked as they rotated. The bicycle edged out of Alec's hiding place.

It wasn't his business anyway. Wait, he already—well, it wasn't. If the kid wanted to make his money that way, it wasn't Alec's concern. It wasn't Alec's spot anymore. Hell, kudos to the idiot for grabbing the spot before Nadine did. She'd had her eye on that place—

After a moment of indecision, Smith broke cover and trotted towards the kid.

Alec was at the corner before his bike completely fell onto the pavement. His fist clenched around Smith's tie before those gray eyes registered Alec.

"What the fuck!" The kid's hollering sank in. Alec found himself with his fist up high, ready to deliver another blow. 

Smith didn't flinch. He was already out after the first punch.

Alec stared at the mottled and bloody face below him, blubbering because even unconscious, Smith was freaking the fuck out and babbling to save his miserable life.

"Look, was that your…he came over on his own. I didn't do anything to lead him on…"

Alec dropped Smith, not caring if the sack of meat landed on a puddle of…let's just say the guy deserved it.

"I didn't do anything." Glowering, braver now that the plummeting was over, the kid stared defiantly at Alec. "The guy came over here on his own."

Alec stared at the narrowed nut brown eyes. 

"How old are you?" Alec blurted out.

"Enough." The youth glared at Alec. "You a cop?"

Alec snorted. "You're lucky. No. Otherwise, this piece of sicko would be the least of your worries."

Eyes flicked over to Smith crumpled on the sidewalk.

"He owe you money?" 

"Kid, he owed _everybody_ money around here." 

"I'm not a kid." Lips pulled back, the other snapped at Alec. After a beat, he paused.

"Unless…you want me to be."

Alec's upper lip curled back in disgust. He avoided the reaching hand.

"You have no idea," Alec muttered. His stomach curdled at the leer twisting the young face.

"Oh," the other purred. "But I do. Unless that's your thing. Hm? You coming over to save poor clueless me from the big nasty? That what you like?" After a pause, the kid's eyes gleamed.

"Let me guess: that's what both of you like? Him playing the big, bad jerk and you the white knight?"

"I'm not with him," Alec snapped. His gut churned at the smirk. He wanted to slap it off the kid's face.

"So it was a race to get here first." The youngster clapped slowly, each sound louder than the first. "Congrats. You win." 

Alec scoffed. "And what would you have done if _he_ got here first?"

Eyes darkened to smoke. "Whatever his wallet wants." The kid flicked an eye up and down the length of Alec's body. "Whatever your wallet wants, to—"

Words choked off when Alec slapped his hands on narrow shoulders and shoved the kid to his knees.

"And if I wanted this?" Alec snarled. "Or if _he_ wanted this?"

"Customer's always rig—" The glare rounded into huge eyes when Alec slammed the kid back to the brick wall. 

Next to them, Smith gurgled. Alec kicked him to remind him to shut the hell up.

"And if he wanted this?" Alec hissed. He ignored the wide-eyed stare. "And if he wanted to slap you around? What's the going rate these days, huh? Fifty? What if he wanted more than a Fifty? Maybe he wanted a Hundred? You willing to go that far? What if the guy wanted more than that? What if he was willing to take more, toss a Ten on your broken ass on this corner, huh?"

"What the hell is it to you?" The kid struggled to shrug off Alec's hands. It was a good try, but he was no match for Alec's souped up genetics. 

"Get off!" Doubt crept into the kid's eyes as each attempt to wiggle free failed. "What are you—Let go!"

Alec ducked his head lower to the other's ear.

"And what if I don't?"

The kid stilled. He gaped at Alec with huge eyes. He started to shake.

"Are…are you going to kill me?"

Alec snatched his hands back. 

Freed, the kid shoved Alec hard. 

Reeling, Alec staggered back. He numbly stared at the man child running down the alley.

"Fricking psycho!" the kid shouted over his shoulder. He never stopped though, skidding on garbage as he gamboled around a corner.

Alec stayed where he was. Hopefully the roll of twenties he tucked into the kid's jeans before would keep him out of Wangle and Twelfth for a while.

By his feet, Smith groaned. He cringed when he opened swollen eyes and saw Alec looming over him.

"Please," Smith mumbled. He raised a pair of broken hands towards Alec. "I didn't do anything to you."

"You couldn't even if you wanted to," Alec muttered. Smith shook like Alec had shouted. 

Alec stared down at Smith. His stomach knotted at the fear gawking back at him. The greasy locks were all over the guy's head like a mangled nest of snakes. He kept trying to press further back into the wall.

"What do you want?" Smith blathered. He flapped his hands to ward Alec back. "Please, I have money." 

Alec couldn't feel any satisfaction at the sight of Smith cowering, looking like he was a whimper away from pissing on himself. Standing tall over Smith made Alec feel ten inches small.

Tight-lipped, Alec crouched down. Smith made pathetic whimpering noises when Alec dropped to his eye level. 

"Don't kill me. Just…just take it. Oh God, oh God, don't kill me. P-please."

"I'm not going to—" Alec sucked in his breath. Smith was too busy crying to hear Alec. His arms flailed when Alec roughly shook him.

"Calm down! I'm not—Listen to me! All right…Simon Tallman." Alec waved Smith's wallet at him. "I'm taking this as compensation for all the guys you got your literal kicks out of." He tapped the fat wallet on Tallman's head. Tallman shrank back as much as his bruised body would let him. 

"You don't come back. You got that?" Alec breathed, "You don't even drive by here. Otherwise…" Alec glanced at Tallman's sector pass. "I'll be stopping by 278 Richmond Lane, apartment PA2," Alec smiled thinly.

"I find out you even _thought_ about coming here…" Alec forced himself to tap Tallman on the forehead despite the churning in his gut. Tallman blanched; he looked like he was going to drop into a dead faint.

"And we'll be having this talk again. In depth. In case you needed reminding."

Tallman babbled promises. Alec thought he might have promised his left ball as well.

Alec watched Tallman limp away, three grand poorer, bloodshot eyes cast over his shaking shoulders to make sure Alec wasn't following.

It was an odd sense of déjà vu to stand here. Alec avoided catching anyone's eye. His hands ached. Alec thought his hands should have hurt more as he tracked Tallman half stumbling, half staggering away from Alec.

 _"Nice work, X5-494."_  
  
Alone on Wangle and Twelfth, Alec felt inexplicably hollow. 

 

_When it was over, X-494 knew what needed to be done._

_He knew the injury couldn't show a clean break. It needed to show fragmentation along C-4 and C-3. It needed to show Senator Rutherford met an unfortunate accident after a questionable encounter with a questionable youth in a questionable location._

_He also needed to be quick. He was given an exit window of forty five minutes. There was seven minutes left. The senator had to first take a pill tonight._

_He waited until the target was finished. He waited until the target groaned its completion. He waited until the target rolled over and fell asleep._

_He didn't shower. There needed to be evidence of impropriety. There was no concern for traceable DNA. He didn't exist._

_X-494 wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He carefully straddled the target. His hands didn't reach around its thick neck, but he was able to position his fingers over the important points._

_There was a bitterness in the back of his throat that demanded he acknowledge. He glanced at the ornate table top clock._

_Five minutes, thirty one seconds._

_He ignored the taste on his tongue._

_The target stirred, protruding fat belly jiggling while it snored._

_He felt bile bubbling up from the base of his throat._

_He looked at the clock again._

_Four minutes, twenty seconds._

_He gulped it all back._

_He leaned in to compensate for the lack of mass. His CO said next time, it would be easier. As his fingers dug into tendons, ligatures, flesh, a quickening pulse, his own throat clenched to dam the sourness burning up to his nostrils._

_With a gurgle and a gasp, his target's eyes shot open._

_X-494's fingers pressed in._

_Hissss. Ssssnap._

_There was a foul smell. The target soiled itself during the dislocation of C-4. Human bodies fight for life in the messiest ways. Bodily functions rally when limbs couldn't._

_His nostrils flared at the stench. He ignored the empty brown eyes gawping at him. They were bloodshot; they were fixed on the space where he once stood over. The target was the only witness to X-494._

_As he dragged the corpse to the bathroom, his stomach churned oddly. When he rearranged stiff limbs to the approximate position, his throat worked. The taste of bitter and sour writhed in his mouth, wanting to get out._

_He worked quickly. He slipped on his shoes. He knocked over a few items to tell the story they needed to tell; Rutherford 's final moments needed to be undignified. He played the recording of the senator shouting; it was extracted from his filibuster last week when he voted against funding Bill S-173. He played the two second clip by the door. When he heard people clamoring up the stairs, he slipped out the window. He climbed to the roof using fingers clawing the lines of bricks._

_When he reached the roof, he finally recognized what his body had wanted to do. It had wanted to throw up. In fact, it had wanted to since the senator slipped him a keycard and a hundred in the dinner party._

_He ignored it as he raced to leap across to the next roof._

_There was only one minute and five seconds left._

 

Alec came fully awake at the sight of the blood on Logan's face.

"…back with me?" Logan had managed to free himself from their nightly tangle. He sat up, torso awkwardly twisted towards Alec. His hands were loose by his sides, projecting a non-threatening appearance. He didn't seem to notice blood dribbled from his nose, over his chin and onto the rumpled fancy bed sheets.

"Wha?" Alec felt like he was trying to push back cotton swathed around his thoughts. It was an unsettling feeling, one he didn't appreciate as he stared up into Logan's face. There was red mark already ballooning against Logan's nose, pushing up under a very concerned green eye and discoloring the soft skin underneath. Alec reached up and saw the blood on his knuckles.

Logan nudged Alec's hand down. "I keep forgetting you're not suppose to wake someone by— _Alec, wait, it's okay_!"

Alec vaulted off the bed even as his mind supplied the images of Logan's bloody nose and the suspicious stripped discoloring around Logan's throat. He nearly tripped on the blanket around his ankles. He couldn't hear Logan over the buzzing in his ears. 

The blanket gave up trying to trip Alec somewhere near the threshold entering the en-suite. He felt the almost bristly bite of air conditioning on his bare ass as he dropped to his knees. His knees ached, but the burning in his throat rivaled it as Alec threw up what felt like a decade's worth of…of everything.

There was the feeling of clammy flesh against Alec's fingertips that shouldn't be there. His ears rang with the sounds of wet snaps that should have long faded. His stomach churned with a sensation he long ignored since he was only X-494.

After what felt like forever, Alec finished. He panted over the toilet bowl. And a beat later, he heard Logan anxiously calling his name.

"Yeah," Alec rasped. "Give me a sec."

The bed creaked.

"Just give me a second," Alec said. He could hear the plea in his own voice.

The bed silenced.

Alec flushed the toilet. He brushed his teeth. He smacked his lips together. He made a face and brushed his teeth again. Done, he stared at the mirror and saw himself a foot shorter, face rounder, eyes blank.

"I'm gonna grab a shower," Alec called out abruptly. He turned on his heels and ducked into the shower stall. 

Logan said nothing.

The water was too sharp on Alec's skin. First it was too hot so he cranked it the other way and now it was too cold.

The icy water was sobering though. Alec thought about Logan's blood seeping off his knuckles and swirling down the drain. He thought about Logan's nose and the blood dripping onto the sheets.

He thought about Rutherford and his leer and his filthy mouth. He didn't bleed.

Alec cranked the water back the other way. He hissed as steam rose and water stung.

Alec took a shower then, too. Because Rutherford needed a few minutes for his pill to kick in. Because 494's skin kept crawling wherever the senator gazed upon him. He took a hot shower then; advantages of a hotel bought out by the Japanese after the Pulse. Hot, steaming water left pink, almost raw spots on 494's skin. He left the shower when his target called to him impatiently.

He wanted to take a shower after, too.

But he had his orders. And that's why he was the best, right? Because 494 followed orders so fucking well. 

_"He's very good."_

_"Yes, sir. He's picked it up even quicker than we hoped."_

The shower squawked when Alec wrenched the knob too hard to shut the water. It wasn't enough to drown the piano notes in his ear, though. And it sure as hell wasn't enough to drown out Rutherford's last gasps.

Alec dried himself quickly, briskly scrubbing the fuzzy fabric over spots that itched over and over. He grabbed a washcloth and held it under the cold water in the sink. He squeezed the excess and clutching it with both hands, he padded back into the bedroom.

The bed sheets were already swapped out. Alec stared stupidly at the new sheets.

"You were in there for over an hour." Logan was back on his side of the bed, the blanket drawn up to his lap. 

"Oh." Alec blinked when he felt cool water dripping on his toes. He unwound his white knuckled grip on the towel. He stuck his hand out. "Uh, here. We—you should get the swelling down."

Logan tentatively touched his nose. He grimaced. 

"It's not broken," Logan confirmed. He glanced over to Alec. He smiled faintly. It looked gruesome with the line of dried blood on his chin. "I knew better not to wake you up that way." He gingerly set the cool damp fabric to his cheek. He winced. 

"I think it'll be fine by Friday." 

"I, uh…" Alec waved wordlessly at Logan. "Sorry."

"Come here." Logan's request was quiet, but firm. It left no room for argument.

Alec was rooted on the spot. "That's probably not a good idea." 

"It never is on paper." Logan studied Alec. Half of his face was shrouded by the towel. His eyes blurred with understanding. His mouth twisted. 

"You have many talents, Alec, but sleeping standing up is not one of them."

Alec huffed out a laugh. "I uh…believe it or not, I can't sleep now. That seafood rice must have gone bad."

"Funny," Logan remarked as he pulled the towel away, "you barely touched it tonight."

Alec made a face. Oh yeah, right. "I thought I'll go for a spin around Seattle."

"After curfew?" 

Crap. Alec wished he thought to retrieve his boxers. He was suddenly aware of how exposed he was standing at the foot of the bed. He waved a hand towards the bedroom door.

"I'll just…visit my owl in the guestroom. Make sure you didn't dent it or anything."

Logan sat back against the headboard. He stared at Alec with an unreadable expression.

"Do you think going into the guest room would make you feel better or is it supposed to make _me_ feel better?"

Alec winced. His eyes drifted up to the reddish mark swelling up under Logan's eye. His eyes couldn't stay on the bruised flesh. His eyes dropped, landing on Logan's throat. His stomach churned at the sight of the marks on the tender underside of Logan's chin. He couldn't look at that either. Alec stared at the carpet instead.

"A little bit of both," Alec admitted.

Logan's gaze was heavy on Alec's skin. He waited for Logan to bid him good night. He braced to walk away.

"Alec, just come here." Logan didn't say anything else. He tracked Alec crawling up the bed. Logan slid down and let Alec ease him to lie on his side. After a pause, Alec followed after he shut the lights. Under the cloak of darkness, it felt easier to be this close to Logan. But before Alec could roll in either direction, unsure if he dared face Logan or cover him with his body, Logan dropped a hand on Alec's stomach.

The hand was warm, caressing, drawing symbols, poetry, formulas. Alec wasn't sure. He rolled his hips towards Logan's touch.

"What do you need?" Logan asked, hushed. 

Alec needed the bitter taste out of his throat. He needed his skin to stop feeling like it's tight on some spots, sagging on others. He needed to stop feeling like 494 was digging into his skin, trying to break out.

Logan swept a hand up Alec's flank. The light pressure was non-existent, but Alec let it guide him to shimmy closer. He felt the hand linger on spots, steering him until he was tucked under Logan's chin. He snaked his arms around Logan's middle and held on in case the bed dropped out from under them.

Alec blinked against the pinprick sensations of Logan's chest hair against his eyes. He skimmed a finger over Logan's hole. The other was still loose and wet from before. He stroked the puckered entrance, wishing, longing, aching.

Logan didn't react to the feather touch; he never could. Alec pulled his hand away and cupped the back of Logan's head instead.

Murmuring Alec's name, Logan dropped kisses on the corner of Alec's eye, his mouth, the bridge of his nose, the pout of his lower lip, the jut of his cheekbone.

With a jolt, Alec realized Logan mouthed the parts Alec kissed on Logan. Each light brush of Logan's lips was an echo of what Alec tasted on Logan's body.

Alec squeezed his eyes shut. Logan pressed a kiss on each shut lid.

"I…" Alec owed Logan something. He needed to fill the spaces Logan allowed to fall mute in between his cleansing kisses.

"I was…"

Logan kissed Alec's mouth. He kissed the tight lines etched around the mouth.

"You were young." Logan brushed his lips over Alec's chin.

"You were obeying orders." Logan's mouth lingered at the corner of Alec's lips.

Alec jerked. Logan tightened his hold before Alec could pull away.

"How?" Alec rasped.

"You were mumbling in your sleep." 

Alec tensed. He lay stiff in Logan's arms.

"Hell of a dream," Alec croaked.

Logan exhaled, his breath ruffling Alec's hair.

"I thought you said you didn't dream."

Groaning, Alec pressed gritty eyes to the crook of Logan's shoulders.

"Sorry," Alec mumbled. "I…it's all fucked up. I…I'm fucked up."

Logan's arms tightened around Alec. He said nothing.

"I ah…something our new mascot said this morning…got me thinking…" Alec inhaled deep and filled his lungs full of Logan's scents of musk, almond and coffee.

"I did a lot of things before that I'm not…" Alec blinked hard. He slid down and buried his face into Logan's chest instead. Logan smelled of cotton sheets and sweat. 

Logan's arms were warm and heavy around Alec. They stayed where they were. Logan was silent, breathing against Alec.

"I followed orders so damn well," Alec choked out. 

Logan's hands splayed over Alec's shoulder blades, bracing him, maybe sealing him away from all the shit in the world.

"You had no choice."

Alec snorted. He stayed curled inside Logan's hold.

"Didn't I? I could have…I could have not done it, any of it, all of it." Alec stared out in the space under Logan's arm. The bedroom was dark, dark enough, it felt like conversations couldn't be louder than a whisper. But Alec couldn't enjoy it. Not when his genetically enhanced vision automatically compensated for the lack of light. He saw everything, even the reddish scratches on Logan's right arm; he must have tried to restrain Alec. Idiot. Alec could have torn his arm off.

"I should have just…not do it," Alec whispered as he stared at the shallow scratches around Logan's elbow.

"You know they would never had allow that."

Alec sniffed. He could feel Logan lining up to his body. Alec swung his leg over Logan's, tangling them closer to each other.

"No," Alec admitted, "No, you're right. Go against the herd of lemmings and they'll either send me to Psy-Ops or deactivate me in the world's most expensive do-over." Alec set his jaw. "My so-called _sibling_ as you put it is proof enough. Start killing priests and snap, dead, do-over, _ka-ching_ , no worries, we made a backup."

Logan shivered. Alec tugged the covers until it was over their heads.

"Thank God they didn't do that to you."

"Nope," Alec said bitterly, "there was no need. X-494 was a good little robot for them. Ten-hut and all that bullshit." He sighed as he rubbed his jaw over Logan's chest. "I was so fucked up then."

Logan arched his shoulders back, pressing into Alec's touch briefly before hunching over him again.

"But you're fine now." 

Was he? Alec's eyes burned. He tilted his face up. And again, somehow, Logan was able to find his gaze in the dark.

"You don't think I'm fine, do you?" Alec murmured. 

Logan rested his chin on top of Alec's head. He breathed out slowly.

"Well…you don't think I'm fine either."

Alec pulled back even though he wanted to rub his jaw over the sharp silken hairs. He felt Logan still. 

"I was..." Alec's throat worked but the rest wouldn't come out. 

"Was." Logan tugged Alec back towards him. Their mouths brushed against each other, tantalizing, searching, but never completing the connection. "Was, Alec. _Was_." 

Alec exhaled, regretfully avoiding the lips seeking his. He gazed into eyes that never seemed to settle with one color, catching both light and emotion. 

"I guess I should talk about this." Alec swallowed. 

Logan's mouth twisted. "Should. But do you _want_ to?" 

The closeness between them demanded honesty. 

"No," Alec admitted. "Not really. Not now." 

Logan cupped Alec's jaw. His thumb brushed under Alec's eye. 

"Okay." 

Alec blinked. "That's it?" 

"I have secrets too. Be hypocritical of me to demand full disclosure." Logan traced the shape of Alec's mouth with the callused index finger. 

"But tell me when you _want_ to. Okay?" 

Alec nodded. The knot twisting inside loosened and he took a steadying breath. 

"Thanks." 

Logan kissed Alec's forehead in response. 

Alec groaned as he buried his face into the crook of Logan's shoulder. Logan tightened his arms around Alec. They went back to sleep, closely wound into each other, their bodies pressed together to allow no more dreams or memories between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was almost _not _a chapter. Originally a throwaway line about Alec's past, I realized as unpleasant the subject matter was, I needed to do more than referenced Alec's past with a brief line. I deleted this chapter, rewrote it, deleted it again. The deadline came and went and yet I was still on the fence on whether this chapter was needed or not.__
> 
>  
> 
> _  
> _Ultimately, I needed Alec comforted, I needed him to start acknowledging it. I needed Sweeper's past to be more than five measly minutes in the episode. Hence, this chapter was born._  
>  _
> 
>  
> 
> _  
> _Thank you for indulging me on this._  
>  _


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers: (takes deep breath) Dialogue and scenes adapted from "Out", "Art Attack", "I Am And I Am A Camera", "Berrisford Agenda", chapter 23, chapter 24, _and_ random bits of season one I currently can't think of after staying up for thirty hours. 
> 
> Warning: Alec's past, Alec's potty mouth, attempted non-con, dub-con and bad verb tenses (head hanging)

_"Remember his face."_

_A photo was shown; quickly, because he didn't require more with his memory._

_"You learned well, X5-494." A lighter flashed. A cigar burned in the dimmed training room. "We're assigning you to this mission."_

_He didn't reply. He didn't thank him. He accepted it with blank eyes and a numb mind._

_"Senator Asyner's attending a charity dinner this evening. You need to make sure he sees you."_

_The orders demanded a response. He nodded dutifully._

_"Yes sir."_

_When the voice left, X5-494 finally dared to wipe his arm across an aching mouth._

Alec's eyes drifted open. He studied the darkness around him. The blanket drawn over his head was thick, blue and smelled like wood, paper and almonds. 

The darkness wasn't complete though. There were slivers of light between the edge of the blanket and the bed. Alec left the bedroom door open so he could listen for intruders because the security system on the windows was a joke. The city was enjoying a rare night absent of brownouts. The night lights flared through the penthouse's windows like a flashbomb.

The combination resulted in a sphere of shadows that swirled above. Alec grimaced. He wanted to throw the blanket off and disintegrate the shades around him. They were starting to look like faces, familiar faces he wanted more than anything to forget.

But the small world Alec was huddled in was also warm, soft against his skin and wrapped around him with a different sort of familiarity he still struggled to understand. 

Alec wanted to move. And yet, he did not.

Against Alec, a body shifted, realigning to the natural fit lost when Alec had fidgeted. Shadows played on a smooth back. Heat emulated from a body of supple strength. Alec's keen eyesight picked out a small cluster of moles on a patch of skin along the wing of a shoulder blade. He still puzzled over why it always tasted different than the other places he liked to nip and lave.

Alec took a deep breath. 

Promptly, the body held to Alec's chest did the same.

Alec sighed.

His internal clock told Alec he slept for ten minutes tonight. Fifteen, tops. 

_"Have you been briefed on your target, X5-494?"_

_"Yes, sir. Robert Berrisford."_

Alec lay in the dark, heart hammering, mind spinning, ears ringing. He woke up to the strains of a B flat scale fading in his ear and the stench of burning fuel irritating his nose. The back of his throat tasted sour, like he had thrown up the mushroom pasta Logan made tonight. He gulped over and over; it reminded him of another taste…

_"Report to training room five in the Ops bunker."_

Alec squirmed closer to the back he was pressed against.

Logan's sleeping form was tucked into Alec. Alec could make out the shadows of a bruise Logan failed to mention Alec gave him last night. It was a purple, almost black, stain along the top edge of a shoulder blade. Alec caught him flinching whenever he shrugged. Logan insisted it wasn't broken though and in fact, would only stiffen up by the dinner party tomorrow night. Logan was probably right; he would be okay by Friday. Alec tried not to think too much about how Logan knew so much about injuries.

Their clasped hands were tight over Logan's stomach; Alec could feel the other's groin; a thatch of dark hairs teasing along his hands, the soft cock hidden yet a tantalizing heat. It beckoned for Alec's touch; a rough pull, a possessive hand tugging and jerking until it filled and Logan cried out in breathless need.

Alec kept his hands intertwined with Logan's even though he wanted to rock along Logan's broad back, his cock tucked between buttock cheeks, his hands pumping Logan in strong, relentless pulls. He wanted to run his teeth along the knobby line of bones that stretched from the spine and disappeared into the skull. The skin was stretched thin over the most vulnerable junction of the human body. The skin was clean of any bar codes and tasted like salt, iron tangy like life and Logan's soap.

Logan murmured. He sagged back, huddling deeper into Alec's cradle. His ass gently brushed against Alec's returning erection.

Closing his eyes, Alec dropped his face over Logan's nape. He breathed in deep the scent. He filled his lungs with the smell of sweat, of musk, of cotton. There wasn't the sour tang of fear hanging over them. Just sleep and the almost stale taste of exhales into pillows.

_"You need to make sure he sees you."_

No one whispered into Alec's ear; no PA crackling into a concrete training room. Logan was lax in his arms. He didn't struggle, nor was he rigid and immobile, waiting for the next move.

_"Report to training room five in the Ops bunker."_

Alec rocked, his hips rolling to slide his cock up along Logan's tailbone. He felt Logan breathe against him, mumbling sleepily, those long capable fingers twitching as they tightened over Alec's. 

Blood stirred. Breath quickened. Muscles tightened in want, not in apprehension. Memories fled, replaced by want. Need. Hungry. The promise of oblivion by way of a rush of heat in his blood, spurred Alec's hips to surge forward.

Logan swayed languidly under Alec's motions. They moved with the buoyancy of a night tide; they moved as if there was one body, not two.

Alec gingerly ran his fingers through Logan's chest hair. He marveled at the sensation; Logan's belly and back was smooth in contrast. He lightly raked his nails through the sweat matted hair. 

Logan moaned in his sleep.

A kiss behind Logan's ear calmed him. Alec soaked in the heat of Logan's body. Alec's skin shrank around him. He felt small, maybe small enough to burrow deep into Logan's body, maybe small enough to sink under Logan's skin so he could emerge as something new. Holometabolism. Yes, Alec liked the sound of it; wiggling out as something less of a monster, less of a killer, maybe something that could look Logan in the eye without flinching. 

_"Report to training room five in the Ops bunker."_

Alec squeezed his eyes tight. He panted, drowning out the decisive voice that herded him and three others like sacks of meat. Two had resisted; they had failed. Alec never saw them again. He was told he had passed. He was told he should be proud.

_"Your only thought is to follow our orders."_

"Shut up. Shut up," Alec muttered into Logan's nape. He rolled his hips harder into Logan's back. His own lower back ached as his pelvis grinded against the firm curve of Logan's ass.

Pre-come left trails of glistening moisture on Logan's lower back and the cleft of his buttocks. The other didn't react to it, but he did whimper and sigh as Alec ground against him, skin to skin, pulse to pulse.

Alec laved the vulnerable sweet spot behind Logan's ear. He felt Logan shiver, upper torso trembling as sensation teased past his Morpheus. Alec petted Logan's chest, his lips nibbling the wet lobe as he slipped his swollen cock between Logan's cheeks. He rubbed his erection against the thin skin, pre-come drooling over the puckered entrance. The slicked skin tingled on contact. Alec thrust harder as he gasped into Logan's hair. 

_Harder, just a bit more, angle him higher, almost…almost…_

The bed creaked. Logan muttered, fidgeted. 

"Relax," Alec whispered automatically. "I got you. God, you feel so good. So goo—Just let me. I got you. I got you. Trust me…"

Logan quieted. He melted into Alec's thrusts in a slump.

Alec froze.

Ice flooded Alec's veins. His erection was gone; as if it was never there. Alec's stomach soured as he stared at the unmarked nape inches from his nose.

Still asleep, boneless, unresisting, Logan's body had bobbed under Alec's administrations. He lay curled within Alec's hold as his body was tasted, used without his awareness, without his voice. And with a few whispered words, a few touches, Logan stopped fighting even the littlest protest; in a way, he rolled over to bare his belly for the kill.

Alec shuddered. He pressed his eyes into Logan's hair. He couldn't tell if the stinging was from the sharp strands of Logan's hair or something else. He'd almost…

"Shit," Alec croaked into Logan's shoulder. "I…sorry. I…I'm a fucking bast—s-sorry. Sorry."

Chest heaving, Alec gingerly pulled his arms out from around Logan. He scrubbed his eyes with the back of his hand as he sat up. He caught Logan by the shoulders before the other rolled. He gently settled Logan on his back.

Logan frowned to himself. His hands flexed and unflexed. He mumbled.

"Sh, didn't mean to wake you." Alec stroked the side of Logan's face. He had to stop when his fingers shook too hard. When they steadied, Alec tentatively reached over and trailed his fingers down the profile again.

Lines smoothed away under Alec's touch. 

If anything, it made Alec feel worst. He swallowed convulsively. He cupped Logan's jaw. It suddenly felt forbidden; he was trespassing.

Logan's head lolled and leaned into Alec's touch.

Alec dropped his head. His forehead briefly touched Logan's.

"Go back to sleep," Alec whispered. 

A slit of green cracked open, aimlessly searching. When it landed on Alec, Logan's eyes slid back shut again. 

Alec ran a finger down Logan's jaw over and over, tracing the outline of stubble skin. He drew Logan's name across the furrowed brow, languid vowels and consonants until the worried lines ironed out.

"Alec…" Logan mumbled, questioning.

"It's fine." Alec pressed his lips to an eyebrow struggling to twitch up into the hairline. He kissed the downward tilt forming at the corner of Logan's mouth. It tasted illicit, yet Alec couldn't stop himself because he was a fucking greedy bastard.

"Wha…" Logan's stubbornness intruded. Eyes struggled to open.

"Sh…go back to sleep, babe."

Logan sighed as he relaxed back into slumber. Alec wasn't envious at all.

Carefully, Alec swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He pulled the covers up to Logan's chin. Then, he tucked the fleece blanket around Logan's cold feet. He sat on the bed, his hands curled around Logan's wrapped feet. His eyes traced up the length of Logan's body under the covers. When Alec's eyes reached Logan's face, he flinched. Logan slept on, clueless to what happened to him. To what Alec did…

Alec snatched his hands back. He bit his lower lip until he tasted blood, but it didn't feel like it was enough. Stomach churning, a lump heavy on his chest, Alec rose to his feet and left.

 

Unfortunately, curfew has been a bitch the past few weeks. A spin around the city in a brisk motorcycle ride at hundred thirty miles per hour, while tempting, was out. Alec shrugged back into his discarded t-shirt and his boxers and ducked into the guestroom instead.

Alec left the lights off. He didn't need them as he ran a hand down the width of the short bookshelf opposite the bed. The second shelf held a few books Alec _borrowed_ from Logan's shelves because ogling Logan during his hacks got boring after the third time. If only Logan took his advice to do the hacks naked. Boo.

The stray wistful thought sank and Alec's musing smile dropped. He clenched his jaw. He scrubbed his palms over his face.

"You're a real piece, 494," Alec muttered. He paced the area in front of the bed. The more his head spun, the more his bare feet made furrows into the rug that lay out in the center of a room as big as Cindy's apartment. 

Rutherford's empty eyes contorted to Rachel's hurt ones to the blank ones of his _trainers_ who marched in to prep the chosen X5s. 

_"Good job, X5-494."_

The bed creaked when Alec kicked a corner. Bare foot be damned.

Alec brushed a sweaty palm under his shirt. His face twisted at the crusty feel of dried come on his stomach; smeared from where his cock wept over Logan's body. Crap, Logan was probably stained, dirtied, because 494 thought it was a great idea to fuck the guy in his slee—

With a growl, Alec kicked the short bookcase. Immediately, he yipped because, _ow_ , bare toes but he deserved it and so much more.

A book shook out of its precarious home and dropped. The book's spine struck the hardwood floor before it flipped face up on the rug by Alec's throbbing foot with a muffled _plop_.

Alec stared at the book by his feet.

_I, Robot._

Choked laughter cut through the room. Alec bit back the hysteria. He canted his head, but nothing stirred in Logan's bedroom. In fact, Logan started that wuffling-wheezing combination Logan vehemently denied doing.

Alec picked up the paperback. He smoothed back the tape on the spine. The book was in two pieces when he had found it. A little girl struggled to tear it in half to toss into a fire to cook the foiled wrapped yams. The two meager lumps sat in the center of a hearth made of rags and scavenged books from a nearby condemned library. It was already missing a dozen pages. He gave the child twenty bucks and his burrito for it.

Logan didn't think it was funny when Alec showed it to him though. But Alec pointed out at least it was a book he legitimately bought with his own money ( _maybe_ ).

And seriously. A book about robots? Freaking hilarious.

Alec idly flipped through the pages. He debated finishing it because the vibrating in his bones told him he wasn't getting any more sleep tonight. He squinted at a yellowed page and the words on top.

_"You are the only one responsible for your own wants."_

Throat working, Alec shut the book. He turned back to the shelves to return it to its place. He blinked.

There seemed to be more books than Alec remembered. The shelf was full where before, Alec had shoved his _Jam Pony_ bike helmet into the shelf to keep the books from sliding. His helmet was sent back the next day, via messenger— _funny, Heather_ —with no note. 

Alec stooped down and squinted at the volumes shoved in-between the _Wizard of Oz_ and a book of poetry from an obscure English man who wrote nothing about the misery of war. Some weren't in English and Alec knew Logan couldn't read Mandarin or Russian. Alec had offered to teach him, but for whatever reason, Logan didn't think learning the words _cock_ and _blowjob_ in Chinese and Russian was useful. 

Snorting to himself, Alec tipped one spine towards him and read its title in the dark. He didn't recognize the title as one in the approved Manticore reading list. Then again, unless it was on military maneuvers and hard sciences, good old Manticore saw no reason for the others.

There was a musty, damp paper smell to the books as Alec pulled each out and inspected them. He pressed one book to his nose and inhaled.

In the back of Alec's mind the tinny, almost tinnitus quality, sound of a car exploding dipped an octave lower. The acrid sensation of fuel burning numbed. The taste in his mouth faded.

Alec sat down on the bed. He stared at the books he gathered on his lap. They were old, beat up, some were missing chunks.

They were his.

A lump formed in Alec's throat. He thought about a book X-327 once found. She read bits of it every night about rabbits and rebellion. Lydecker found the book and X-327 went away for a few days. When she came back, she only stared at them blankly whenever one of the platoon inquired to what happened to Fiver and Hazel.

Alec rolled to his side. He let the books cascade to the floor, one by one and let the scent of paper and dust float up. He rubbed one eye. Damn things were dusty. He curled in the center of his bed, but it felt wrong and he didn't get it.

The mattress was firm, even, with the cushioning foam that adjusted to his every position. The blankets were thick, heady with the odor of cotton and detergent. They were smooth, tight weaves of thread that felt like silk on his exposed legs and arms. And there were pillows; a whole squadron of pillows that took up a third of the bed.

It was a nice bed. Hell. It was a _great_ bed.

When Alec realized he was staring out in the dark but there was no one staring back, no one breathing rhythmically on his face, he rolled supine instead. He closed his eyes, one of the books tucked under his chin. He took another deep breath. After a moment though, Alec's eyes opened. 

Alec sighed.

Remnants of the dream (memory) returned. They clung to him; stiff and sticky, a stain only he could see on his skin. Alec's flesh still crawled with the memory of Rutherford's eyes going from speculative to shock to then nothing at all. He had navigated through several rooftops before he was extracted. His handler chided him for cutting it close. X-494 promised to do better. And he did the very next week.

Pulling the book closer, almost to his mouth, Alec swallowed convulsively. Phil said following orders was a poor excuse. Unfortunately, X-494 did it so well. 

_"Have you been briefed on your target, X5-494?"_

Alec squeezed his eyes shut. Great. As if his head wasn't already crowded with Rutherford's perverted stare, now he could smell a wisp of her shampoo. And the smoke was back. Oh no, let's not forget the smell of burning gasoline. 

"Damn it, Phil," Alec muttered. Stupid Phil and all his spiel on monsters and dirtbags and scum, oh my. Alec tasted bitter and soot since yesterday. 

Now, it felt like it was all Alec could taste: the taste of lust spoiling like rotting cheese on his tongue, the bite of smoke and heat from the explosion, the sourness that burned his nostrils when his CO praised him for a job well done on Rutherford. On Rachel. On everyone and everything.

Alec squashed the book to his nose. He smacked his lips, pinched his nose but the taste and stench wouldn't go away. He stared at the ceiling, book on his chest and thought about Logan venturing out somewhere to get books he couldn't read.

Throat tight, Alec looked around and spotted the goofy ceramic owl Sung gave him. It sat on a tiny wood pedestal on the bottom shelf, a circle of crushed velvet cushioning its feet. It stared up at Alec with its disproportioned eyes and its chipped painted face. It gaped at Alec, as if asking _How the hell did I get here?_

Alec rolled on his belly—a no-no according to Manticore for leaving your six unguarded. He craned his neck and stared at the owl Sung gave. 

The owl stood on its nest of velvet and wood, unblinkingly looking at Alec asking "Now what?"

"I don't know," Alec murmured. He didn't feel silly answering the little guy. 

 

Alec crept back into the bedroom. His toes curled into the carpet as he considered the sleeping figure on the bed. He could make out his face, turned slightly towards his left as if to listen to what Alec was saying. He lay on his back where Alec left him, the covers still pulled to his chin, arms folded over his stomach. 

With a grunt, Logan slept on, oblivious to the scrutiny. His brow knitted every so often. His hands curled and opened as if grabbing something. He stayed on his back though, unable to roll over unaided.

Logan's hair was flattened on his right where he had laid on the pillow to rest against Alec. His bangs stood up in wild spikes as a result and left Logan looking a little crazed.

There was drool at the corner of Logan's mouth. Logan rolled his eyes whenever Alec told him he was trying to drown Alec in his sleep. And _ew, not attractive, Heather_ , no way, because sometimes it was annoying to wake up to a small wet spot by his nose.

The shadows in the bedroom highlighted the subtle bump at the bridge of Logan's nose, where his eyeglasses had often sat too heavily on the ridge. It gave him a pitched look. It was distracting, too, because his glasses kept sliding down Logan's nose and damn it, if Logan pushed them up one more time, Alec was going to glue them on his cute asymmetrical face.

Logan constantly needed to shave the moment it hits 1800. He always started out smooth shaven, sleek and soft against Alec's lips, but the minute it hits 1800…Boom, hello, scruffy.

Alec rubbed his knuckles over his own jaw. 

Shuffling closer, Alec stood by the side of the bed. He gazed down on Logan. 

The guy was moral to a fault. Ate enough only to sustain a squirrel. He snored yet denied it. He sometimes drooled, but denied that too. And his face was too pale under his bangs. And his Holiness needed a haircut before his bangs poke him in his eye.

Alec couldn't stop watching him. His feet stayed rooted to the spot. His fingers itched to reach over to touch.

Logan grumbled something under his breath. He scrunched up his nose. A sleepy snort interrupted the muffled wheeze. 

An overwhelming feeling bubbled in the base of Alec's throat. He was standing too close to Logan, yet he wanted to plaster himself to the other's body. The bruises from Alec's dream (nightmare, no, memory) were vivid marks on Logan's face and throat. Alec grimaced at the sight. His eyes kept darting away from the accusation.

Logan made a face. His hand idly scratched the blanket over his stomach. Eyes still closed, Logan mumbled questioningly for Alec.

Alec twitched towards Logan. Then his jaw clenched and he twisted away.

A hand drifted over, not quite capturing, fingertips searching and brushing across Alec's knuckles. Then, too heavy to hold up, the arm dropped limply on the bed.

Alec stilled. 

With a groan under his breath, Alec slipped into the covers and huddled close to Logan's side. 

Logan's arm languidly lifted. Alec wiggled closer.

Alec dropped his head on Logan's sleep warm shoulder. His ear automatically found the spot where the _thump-thump_ sang quietly to his ear. He rested his cheek against Logan's lower ribs and felt the other's belly softly rise and fall as he breathed.

Logan was furnace hot against Alec's ribs, expanding gently in a pattern almost hypnotic. Alec rolled his head, rocking over the trim torso until it felt like he found a spot to burrow into. He stayed there, half on top of Logan, a leg slipped in-between Logan's, hands idly stroking the smooth silk under the belly button. 

Alec listened to Logan breathe. After a moment, he took a deep breath of his own. 

"So how long you're gonna pretend to be sleeping?" 

A drowsy chuckle ruffled the top of Alec's head. 

"What gave me away?" 

Alec tilted his head up, unwilling to pull away from the steady _staccato_ humming under his ear. Logan's eyes were shut, but even the long lashes couldn't completely hide the intense hazel look. 

"If you were really asleep, you do this wheezy snoring thing." Alec made a lazy circle around his own nose with a finger. 

"I don't snore." Even half-asleep, Logan sounded miffed. Alec was tempted to kiss Logan on the tip of said nose. 

"Nah. You don't snore like..." Alec's mouth gaped open and he let out a sound cousin to a freight train. Logan rumbled underneath Alec. It felt nice. "More like a whistling thing. Just through the left nostril." Alec bared his teeth. Logan tugged the back of Alec's hair. "It's kinda cute, actually. Like 'D'aw, let me pinch your cheek' cute." Alec reached up and... 

Logan started under Alec. He vibrated with silent laughter. 

"That wasn't my cheek, Alec." 

Alec leered up. "Thanks for the anatomy lesson." And he pinched the other one because he believed in equal opportunity and all that. 

"Can't sleep?" Logan reached up and carded a lazy hand through Alec's hair. 

Alec leaned into Logan's hand briefly before he pulled away.

"Nope," Alec said brightly, "That's your job." 

"You've been bothered by something ever since you came back from meeting Phil." Logan's fingers tightened in Alec's hair. He let go quickly. His hand drifted to settle large and hot between Alec's shoulders.

"What happened?"

"Nothing." Alec mouthed the tender skin under Logan's jaw. "I think we're out of lube. Mind if we use that lotion of yours?" He ran the edge of his teeth over a nipple. When Logan opened his mouth to speak, Alec captured the other and worried it until Logan shuddered. The nubs pebbled pink and aching. 

Logan groggily groaned.

"Alec, it's late."

"Don't mind me." Alec teased the nipple until he felt Logan's breath quickening. He snaked a hand between them and gripped Logan's cock. "Just having myself a midnight snack." 

Logan retaliated with a knuckle running down between Alec's pecs, all the way down to the base of his cock. Alec hummed, arched into the touch. He groaned when Logan didn't finish his journey and pulled away. 

"Come on," Alec pleaded. "You can't leave me hanging." He thrust against Logan's side. He knew Logan could feel Alec's cock, leaking and hard, grounding into his obliques.

"Alec, we should talk about— _Alec_." Logan shivered as Alec roughly jerked him off, pulling hard enough to lift his pelvis off the mattress.

"Nothing to talk about." Alec nibbled, laved and tongued Logan's ear. His hands furiously pumped Logan's cock until it filled and rose semi-erect. 

"I can think of better uses of my mouth," Alec managed. He crushed his lips to Logan's, teeth crashing, his hands tugging and yanking. Logan moaned, unable to say anything more when Alec's tongue darted into his hot mouth.

"I don't want to talk," Alec said when they parted. He bit Logan's lower lip. "I just want…okay?"

Green eyes darkened to a smoky jade as they considered Alec. Without another word, Logan relaxed under Alec, his hips still jerking forward into Alec's double fists.

Cold water struck hard. Alec's hands dropped. He reared back, but Logan's hand on his arm stopped him from completely rolling out of bed.

"Stop that!" Alec snapped. He shoved at Logan's shoulder, careful not to completely roll him. Alec gave Logan enough bruises.

"Stop what?" Logan propped himself up with an elbow.

"Stop…just stop, okay?" Alec finished lamely. He sat up. He shook off Logan's hand, but didn't try to leave the bed anymore. "I'm not going to force you into anything. Stop acting like…" Alec sat cross-legged next to Logan.

"Stop stop fighting against me," Alec mumbled.

Logan pulled himself higher until he propped himself against the headboard.

"Fighting against you?" Logan echoed. "Alec, why the hell would I ever be fighting against you when we…" He waved a hand between them and the bed.

Alec's shoulders slumped. He lowered his eyes. They drifted to Logan's groin. He tore his eyes away from the flushed cock, red in some spots where Alec gripped too hard.

"Alec?" Logan sounded too alert now, wide awake. "Why would I be fighting against you?"

"If I forced you or something," Alec mumbled. He couldn't look past Logan's stomach.

" _Forced_ me?"

Alec gestured towards Logan. "Like, I don't know. I mean, let's face it. I'm not a ninety eight pound weakling and pretty much horny as hell twenty four seven. And I like you a lot, a lot a lot and it would suck if I come at you like this—"

Alec lurched over to demonstrate. Logan edged back…

And promptly knocked Alec off the bed with a push.

Alec gaped from his new position on the floor.

The lamp clicked on. Logan peered over the edge of the bed.

"You were saying?" Logan said archly.

"I wasn't ready! What if I came at you like—"

Without pause, Logan grabbed Alec by the ears, gave them a twist that sparked needles into his face and flipped Alec onto the bed.

Then with a shove, he rolled Alec off the bed. Again. 

Holy shit.

"Upper body strength," Logan said dryly from his throne high aloft the mattress. "In my business, there are too many degenerates curious about what it would be like to fuck a guy in a wheelchair. They tend to hear 'yes' when I say 'no'." 

A hard lump boiled in Alec's gut. "How often did you have to say no?" he bit out as he staggered to his feet.

"Why do you think you'll force me into anything?" Logan ignored the question. At Alec's look rising above the bed, he added, "Not as many times as you think. Not as far as you fear."

The fire in Alec banked.

"If I really wanted to," Alec said, his throat tight, "You wouldn't have been able to stop me."

"No," Logan agreed too readily and too calmly. "But it's not going to happen."

Alec stared at the bed sheets, unable to speak. 

"Now," Logan said, deceptively mild, "Why again did you think you would force me?"

Alec shook his head. He shrugged.

"What happened at Phil's?" Logan said sharply.

Alec winced. "Nothing." He rubbed the back of his neck. It seemed to burn on contact. He dropped his hand. "We were talking, you know, stuff, about monsters, I'm kinda like, I mean, you gotta admit—"

"He called you a _monster_?"

Alec blinked at the sudden hardness in Logan's tone. He looked up. Logan's face was flushed, his knuckles bone white clutched around the sheets.

"What? No! He didn't call me a—Will you stop looking like that? What's with the 'Grr' face? It's kinda hot, but you're not beating anyone down all naked and sexy like that!" Alec waved (flailed) his hands towards Logan's expression.

"Seriously, we were talking and I don't know, I got to thinking…about stuff."

Logan's hands uncurled their claws around the sheets. He slumped back to the headboard. 

"You? Thinking?" Logan's lips twisted. "That's never good."

"Howdy, pot!" Alec shot back. He dropped heavily on the edge of the bed. He slumped forward.

"I don't know, man. I…did you ever think how fucking hilarious it is that a freaked out killing machine is working besides you; the very thing you and howdy-doody-American-pie Phil are fighting against?"

"First off," Logan said slowly, "You're not a 'freaked out killing machine'." He reached over and trailed a gentle finger down Alec's spine.

"Second, who said anything about working with me?" 

Alec grunted. "You know what I mean."

"No," Logan sighed. "I don't. Alec, you're not a monster. You're not a machine. You're a beautiful man who seemed content to settle with me."

"Wow. Is that how we're gonna deal with my issues by revisiting yours?" Alec twisted around by the torso. He splayed a palm on Logan's chest.

"I didn't settle and you're not exactly ugly. Far from it. And yes." Alec smirked.

"I'm pretty damn beautiful, aren't I?"

A pillow answered.

Alec snickered as he let Logan tug him down to bed. He wrapped himself to the line of Logan's body. When his cock brushed over the firm curve of Logan's ass, his amusement died.

Logan stilled. He rested his weight back until he was sitting on Alec's thighs, his buttocks pressing down on Alec's returning erection.

"Babe," Alec choked out a warning.

"I trust you." Logan rolled his head back, baring his throat. "I trust you more than myself at times. Alec, I lo—Alec, you can't hurt me. You're not the monster they intended you to be."

Alec sniffed loudly. He wrapped shaky arms around Logan's middle. 

"You better be right about this," Alec said in a muffled voice against Logan's throat.

Immediately, Logan captured his hands. He wove his fingers through Alec's to form a knot of strength. He pulled their combined grasps to his heart.

"You were never a monster," Logan murmured. "You were only led to believe you were."

Alec exhaled unsteadily. "Keep telling me that and I might believe you one day, Heather."

"I will. I'll send out an hourly hack if I have to." Logan kissed their clasped hands. "Get some sleep." 

"If I wanted sleep, I would have stayed in the guest room." 

"Yet here you are." 

Alec stayed draped over Logan. He tracked the sensation of Logan's fingers intertwined with his. 

"Yeah," Alec said, subdued. "Here I am." 

Logan kissed his hand again.

Alec dropped his forehead to Logan's nape and stayed there as he drifted to the lullaby of Logan's breathing.

As Alec's world turned gray and fuzzy, Logan cleared his throat.

"Alec?"

Alec murmured an "Hm?"

"I like you a lot too."

 

He couldn't stop staring.

Alec gawked at his reflection on the cloudy mirror. Herbal took the one off the women's bathroom wall and set it down so Alec could check out his lower half. Two mirrors precariously hanging on the wall by the _Jam Pony_ payphone, showing two disconnected images. Like puzzle pieces cobbled together despite not quite fitting.

"Damn," Alec breathed. "Somehow, I look even hotter."

Original Cindy snorted as she tugged at the black material down Alec's back, careful not to smudge the concealer over his bar code and skin graft. The few strategic darts she sown into the tux pulled the material enough to let it sit perfectly on Alec's broad shoulders.

In the back, someone whistled. Moments later, Herbal cut the guy off mid-whistle. 

Alec continued to stare at the two mirrors on the wall. They weren't aligned. Both halves looked like they belonged to someone else. It reminded Alec of a book he once found in Logan's place. Frank-something. Oh yeah.

Frankenstein.

Swallowing, Alec sidestepped until he couldn't see himself anymore.

"What?" Cindy scrutinized Alec with a seamstress's eye. 

"Maybe I shouldn't go," Alec mumbled as he started to unbutton the jacket. "All those rich people and I can't swipe anything that might give me gas."

"Break off your date?" Cindy arched an eyebrow at him. "At the last minute?"

"I got work to do," Alec protested, "Bip, bip, bip?"

"Sketchy and Original Cindy will pick up your hot runs." Cindy nudged and prodded Alec back to the mirrors. "We got this." She punched Alec on the arm.

"Man asks you out on a date. You can't diss him like that."

Alec shrugged. He stared at the gap between the two mirrors, where his belt should be. "He'll understand."

"No, he won't."

Alec glared at Original Cindy. "So I should drop everything just because the man wants to take me to some fancy dinner?"

Cindy smirked. She swiveled Alec towards the mirrors. "How civilization works, hon. Original Cindy knows it takes two. Don't matter how many Xs or Ys we got."

Alec rubbed his thumb down a lapel. 

Cindy bopped him on the head. "So go."

Alec continued to shrug out of the jacket. "Maybe I shou—Ow! What the hell?"

Jacket hanging off one arm, Alec cradled the back of his head with his other hand. He glared at Cindy over his shoulder.

"He figured you might say something like that." Original Cindy folded her arms across her chest, smug like she hit home with River.

"So he told you to give me a concussion?"

"If that's what we need to do to knock some sense into you."

"Kissing has the same effect, especially if you use some tong— _Okay_!" Alec darted away when Cindy's eyebrow arched; a prelude to some cranium busting. He struggled back into his jacket. He stared back at himself in the mismatched mirrors. He sagged.

"You're thinking too much." Cindy's hands dropped onto Alec's shoulders. She smoothed down the jacket and tweaked the cuffs. "Your gender was never meant to do that. The mens don't have the DNA to think sense."

Alec screwed up his face. He wanted to quip he didn't know _what_ DNA he got, but the joke dried up in his throat. The last time he wore a tux…

Muscle memory guided his hands up to tie the perfect bow at the base of his throat. He ran his thumb across the satin material. A taut wire wrapped around his chest loosened. It felt different. His last tie was coarse on his small hands, too stiff from too much starch and the wire threaded around the strip in case 494 needed to improvise a garrote.

"He has good taste," Cindy hummed as she inspected Alec's handiwork from behind. Her red lips pursed as she inspected the collars. 

"Yeah, he does. Look who he asked?" Alec joked weakly.

"Then maybe you shouldn't keep him waiting?" Original Cindy nudged him around.

Alec glanced past the locker room area. At the double doors, on top of the ramp, Logan lingered by the door. His suit hugged him everywhere it should and begged to be peeled off. The scrap of satin around the base of Logan's throat teased Alec from the distance. 

Logan's wheelchair rocked back and forth a fraction as he politely listened to Sketchy talk about his newest venture. He fiddled with his cuffs, his tapered fingers rubbing a cuff link in a way that left Alec's mouth dry. Logan glanced into _Jam Pony_ every so often, hands on the hand rims, his eyes uncertain. It was that look that compelled Alec to step out of the locker room. 

When Logan spotted Alec, his shoulders relaxed. His eyes crinkled at the corners; Sketchy stopped talking when he realized Logan was no longer listening.

"Ready?" Logan mouthed from across the space. 

Alec gave a thumbs up in reply. However, there was a knot in his gut as he went over and joined him. 

 

"Almost there."

Alec repeatedly stopped himself from telling Logan where to make a turn or suggest a different route. He made a point to look around, pretending to be interested in where they were going. He smoothed a palm down his slacks. 

Cindy needed to let down the in seam, take in the waist in order for the outfit to fit right. But despite all her eye to detail and skill, Alec felt like the suit sat wrong on his frame. It felt like a loose skin, waiting to be shed.

"You look nice."

Glancing over, Alec caught Logan facing back forward again. Logan fidgeted in his seat.

"Did the suit fit?" Logan stammered. His cheeks flushed a pink Alec wanted to lick off.

"Fits like a glove now." Alec brushed an inspecting hand down his front. "Cindy needed to let down the inseam though. It was loose around the crotch. I mean, I like air conditioning, but that was like swinging wild and free there." He wiggled deeper into his seat. 

"Nice and snug now."

"That's, um, that's good. Great. I—Sorry. I know we said meet at my place, but Original Cindy called me, said I better get down to—I mean, you look nic—wait, I already said that." 

There was something about the way Logan stumbled over his words that made Alec want to pull Logan to his lap and kiss his babbling away. Whatever churning left in his gut calmed.

Alec smiled lopsidedly at the driver.

"And you look good enough to molest."

The car shimmied as Logan sputtered out a "Thanks."

Mercifully, the car stayed on its course (and on the road). And a more comfortable silence dropped over them in the car.

Out of the corner of Alec's eye, he caught Logan opening his mouth to speak, give up and return to his driving with renewed focus. Alec suspected if he suggested they go out for pizza instead, the idea wouldn't be vetoed.

The only thing stopping Alec from volunteering the alternative is the sight of Logan clenching the steering wheel, his hands jerky as they flipped the levers for gas and brake. Logan kept glancing up at the rear mirror, at the wheelchair folded up in the backseat. Then his eyes would tear away as if he wasn't looking in the first place. 

"Is Phil on duty tonight?"

Alec grimaced. Logan sounded like he was forcing the words through his teeth yet trying real hard to sound nonchalant at the same time. It made Logan sound asthmatic. 

"He uh, he'll be there," Alec said carefully. Most likely, the guy already staked out a place in the bushes somewhere. Maybe in the gardens six o'clock of the main entrance.

Logan grunted. 

"What?"

"I wasn't sure." Logan shrugged one shoulder. "I didn't see him following us."

Alec inwardly winced. "Yeah, if you can spot him, he wouldn't be good at his job now, would he?"

Logan murmured a wordless sound of agreement. "I should have given you two the address ahead of time." Chagrin was audible in his voice. "It didn't occur to me until now."

"Don't worry." Alec stared hard at the side mirror. He could sense Logan checking his way. He kept his eyes on the side view. "He'll catch up."

"Should I slow dow—"

"No, no. Nah. He uh…he likes the challenge." Alec avoided Logan's direction. He rubbed his thumb on the glove compartment where he knew Logan kept an extra weapon. 

"Oh." Logan's puzzlement hung over them.

"Yeah. He's funny that way," Alec finished lamely. He hurriedly added when Logan opened his mouth. "So what do the all powerful, filthy rich Cales do to have a good time? Pre-pulse wine? Cavier? Orgies on piles of money?"

Logan choked out a laugh. "Oh God, no."

"Damn, I was looking forward to some sex over large denominational bills."

Logan rolled his eyes. "My uncle Jonas is rumored to be making some sort of announcement to the members of the board. A third of them are Cales." He made a face. "Whatever it is, Uncle Jonas is keeping hushed about it."

Alec gasped. He slapped a hand to his chest. "There's a secret _Eyes Only_ knew nothing about?" 

"It's called _Eyes Only_ , Alec, not _All Eyes_."

" _No_ , that sounds way too much like voyeurism."

"Alec!" Logan was laughing now. "I'm trying to drive!"

" _Sorry_ ," Alec drawled. He sank back into the passenger seat, smirking as he felt Logan's body heat close to him. He spied the upturned corners of Logan's mouth. He thought of the back seat. He thought of how he could lean Logan back, peeling and unzipping brushed sleek black—

"No," Logan said firmly.

The heated haze that swirled around Alec's heat fled. He glared at the sexy party pooper, who kept his eyes firmly forward. 

"What?" Alec said innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Logan didn't look over but his lips curled up. "Me? I wasn't talk about anything. _You_ , on the other hand, I have a pretty good idea what you were _thinking_."

"Moi? I was only thinking how it was a shame we gotta go listen to some speech, eat fancy food when I totally could eat you out on the side of that road there. Or that road. Or that corn— _Ooh_ , how about that one? I never did it on a park bench before."

"We're not listening to a speech." Logan managed to sound both scandalized and amused.

"Crap, your uncle is not going to act out his speech, is he? Because I know you rich folks have this thing about art and culture, but mimes make me gag and wanna punch something."

"He's not…" Logan breathed out sharply through his nose. "I'm going to _stop_ him."

" _Okay_." Alec pressed his mouth together. "So we're going to crash a party."

"Yes, so no sex," Logan said firmly.

Alec sputtered in mock outrage. "I wasn't thinking about—"

Alec caught Logan flicking a glance towards him. Specifically, his tenting slacks. 

Oops. Alec closed his legs to clamp down on the heat gathering between his legs.

"I was calculating the square feet of your backseat." Alec arched his back as he stretched out his arms. His left arm reached and dropped over Logan's shoulders. "Math makes me hot."

Logan snickered quietly. Alec felt the last of the tension bleed away under his arm.

"Math makes you hot," Logan repeated.

"Uh huh. Plus, minus, multiplication— _oh baby_. Cosines? Shit, I need a drink of water."

The car fishtailed briefly until Logan managed to get his chuckles under control. 

"Maybe I should get you a Calculus book for your birthday," Logan chuckled.

"Forget it. The Leibniz's notation? You're gonna hear me _sing_." Alec pretended to fan himself with his hands. "I could go all night!"

"And you don't already?"

"Mm, you've seen nothing yet until you whisper sweet inverse operations in my ear." Alec snorted. "Luckily for you though, you won't have to get me one of those things."

"Oh?"

"Don't know my birthday. Manticore didn't believe in cake and candles and presents." Alec arched his back for a good stretch. Damn, sitting in a car was different after striding a motorcycle all that time.

Logan fell silent for some reason. He squinted hard through the windshield. 

Alec frowned at the road ahead. The high beams weren't enough to light up highways long neglected in a collapsed infrastructure. The meager light bounced off Logan's eyeglasses; his eyes look darker, intense.

"Can you see?" Alec asked worriedly.

" _Yes_ ," Logan said with sudden ferocity.

Baffled, Alec sat back and watched Logan drive.

 

Even visiting it for the second time around, it was impressive.

Alec whistled as he stared up the mansion and _not_ at the second floor window that was his entry point. It was the only window dark. 

"Damn." 

"Home sweet home," Logan said with forced lightness as he rolled up next to Alec. He needed to valet his own car because the staff only gaped at the levers when the vehicle pulled up. "That used to have a gazebo, marking the entrance." He pointed to the gardens to their left. Alec thought he caught the gleam of a camera lens. He was tempted to tell Logan to smile and wave at the birdie.

"Before the Pulse, they used to have a small maze in there." Logan smiled tightly as the sound of hammering began behind them. "They had to let go the gardening team after the Crash, but they kept Carl, the head groundskeeper."

Alec's jaw flexed as the sounds of the temporary ramp grew loud enough to draw the attention of guests lingering outside the front steps. He stepped closer, his hip bumping into a stiff shoulder. He lowered his head.

"Think it's private in there?" Alec whispered. He nipped the curve of an ear.

Against Alec, the shoulder shook.

"Not private enough for what you're thinking," Logan managed, smiling wanly.

Alec batted his eyes at Logan. "I was thinking chess."

"Of course." Logan ran the edge of his thumb down the length of Alec's trousers. 

"Mr. Cale!" A broad shouldered man with a military stride headed for them in a direct line. Alec felt Logan tense the same time he did.

The newcomer's gray suit didn't hide his holster, but then again, maybe that was the point. A path cleared for him as he cut through the crowds of uniformed wait staff and caterers without apology. He approached Logan and Alec with a fake smile that must have hung on his grizzly face for the past few hours. 

"Andrew Dathers, head of security." Dathers stooped down too low and awkwardly shook Logan's hand. "We were told to expect you and your…" The man checked his clipboard with a frown. "I'm sorry, we don't seem to have your name, Mister—"

"Dean Heather," Alec said smoothly, rolling the last half of his alias with a flourish. Logan twitched next to him. "I'm an associate of Mister Cale's."

"I wasn't sure if he was coming so I didn't include his name when I first RSVPed." Logan jumped in smoothly.

Alec watched Dathers size him up and the bored expression Alec kept on his face.

"Is the ramp ready?" Logan said, suddenly.

Dathers steered his attention back to Logan. "Yes, sir. Do you need any assistance going up the ram—"

"We got this." Alec dropped a hand onto Logan's stiff shoulder. He made no move towards the chair as Logan steered for the temporary ramp. Alec kept bumping into the right wheel with his knee though, nudging it up the slope whenever the wheelchair faltered.

"Assholes," Alec muttered darkly. The ramp wobbled under their combined weights. He could sense the curious stares towards their way. Alec wanted to push Logan, help him up the rest of the way. But Logan didn't ask so Alec didn't.

"Seriously," Alec said loud enough only for Logan to hear. 

"We totally could have been playing _chess_ in that garden instead."

Logan laughed, huffing as he coaxed the chair to finish its journey.

 

"There you are. I was wondering where you've been hiding yourself, Junior. I used to have no problem picking you out in a crowd." 

Alec braced himself when Logan took a steadying breath. He watched Logan's face contort from the somber expression he wore when he was speaking to some board members to a smiling visage that looked painful to keep up.

"Uncle Jonas," Logan greeted as he turned his chair around. "Uncle Jonas, I would like you to meet—"

"Yes, Dean Heather." The familiar tall and lean figure shared Logan's hazel eyes. Only these stayed a cool and disinterested green as they swept over him. "Word has it you're Logan's _date_." 

"He asked, I came," Alec offered. He rolled his syllables out with a subtle accent again. He felt Logan's narrowed eyes on him. Alec slipped his hand to the back of Logan's shoulder and gave it a faint press before reaching out to shake Jonas Cale's. The handshake was firm, cool and dry. Either the senior Cale was genuinely pleased to see Logan or the guy was a damn good actor. 

The senior Cale canted his head. "Hm, I can't place the accent. France? Germany?"

Alec responded with a little shoulder shrug. "A mix of both, I'm afraid. My business requires me to stay in many places. I pick up languages quickly the longer I stay. This year, it is Greece." He ignored the weight of Logan's stare as he tilted his champagne glass in salute. "Nice. I didn't think the EU permitted this many bottles of _Krug Clos du Mesnil_ out of Europe since the collapse of the American trade agreements. 2010?" He could feel Logan staring. He tilted the glass up to the light, drawing Jonas's eyes to it. As the uncle looked up, Alec used his other hand and pinched Logan's closest arm. Hard.

Logan coughed. Thankfully though, he stopped trying to skewer Alec with his glare. 

Jonas Cale shook his head, amused, but Alec caught the twitch of surprise before the business man covered it up with his press release smile. 

"Close. It's 2009."

Alec arched an eyebrow. He knew exactly what year it was; an assignment in the French embassy long ago placed him as a sommelier. 

"Pre Pulse," Alec murmured, sounding appropriately impressed. He could feel Logan fidgeting, his shoulders bumping into Alec's leg. He knew Logan was internally bristling; they were drinking black market champagne and eating expensive food. Yet to get here, Logan drove through two sectors where Alec knew he spotted several kids rummaging the trash for food.

"I'm impressed," Alec said out loud. Unseen, he brushed a knuckle over Logan's nape. He soothed the rigidness he felt in Logan's neck.

"Only the best for his guests," Logan commented, his voice steady and convincingly pleasant. "You're pulling all the stops, Uncle Jonas." 

"It's a special occasion." Jonas studied Alec with new interest. "You're a man of discerning taste."

Alec shrugged again. "I'm not a fan of chardonnay usually. I'm more a _blanc du noir_ myself." To Logan, Alec said airily. "We should try my _Bollinger Vielles Vignes_ 2004\. If you like it, you should take a bottle."

Logan coughed out a "Thank you" before he covered it with a gulp of champagne. Oops, maybe they should have reviewed the game plan before coming here. Wait, there was _no_ game plan before. But Alec was getting pissed off at all the "poor guy" looks people gave Alec the moment they noticed he was with Logan. As if their over tweaked, partially facial paralyzed, silicone stuffed dates were so hot.

Now Jonas stood a little taller, his smile broader as he eyed Alec speculatively.

"I take it you don't dabble in writing like Junior here." Jonas's eyes brightened, no longer bored and Geez, Alec felt like a piece of cheese in a mouse trap. 

"I am a fan, but I lack Logan's skill for the written verse." Alec seethed inside when Jonas scoffed. The older man patted Logan on the shoulder.

"Yes, Junior here enjoyed offending all the wrong people during his college years. We'd hoped he'd grow out of it after he graduated and work in the family business as I'm sure his father would have wanted." Jonas chuckled. "But instead, he went to work for that newspaper with the funny name. What was that? Pee pee?"

"TPFP." Logan's mouth twisted to a wan smile. His eyes appeared weary. "The Pacific Free Press." 

"Free," Jonas scoffed lightly. "You broke your Aunt Margo's heart when she heard. She was looking forward to see you take your father's place on the board."

Logan's eyes flattened even though his smile stayed in place. "Maybe if Cale Industries had stayed in the direction they first started in and not privatizing public safe—" 

Alec dropped a hand on the back of Logan's shoulder, his body angled so the touch stayed hidden. 

Logan abruptly stopped. He cleared his throat.

"But you may get your wish after all," Logan said lightly. His eyes, however, appeared older than his face.

Jonas's smile never wavered. "The injunction, you mean?"

Logan tensed under Alec's palm.

The senior Cale shrugged one shoulder. "Oh yes, I heard about that. Pity."

"Pity?" Logan seemed to turn to stone under Alec's hand.

"Yes, I—" Jonas spotted someone behind them. His smile turned almost gleeful. Alec was tempted to knock the smarmy grin off the narrow jawed face.

"Johnson! Over here!" Jonas didn't raise his voice, but Logan flinched under Alec's touch as if he did. Logan gripped the wheelchair and slowly turned to greet the portly man waddling through the crowds. There was a red splotch of cocktail sauce on his lapel. The suit moved whenever the man did, stretched over his round body so tightly, Alec thought he heard the material creak.

"Jonas! Great party!" Left, right, left, right, the man labored to reach them. He was out of breath by the time he shook Jonas's hand.

"Judge Reinhold," Logan said evenly. "I wasn't aware you were a shareholder of Cale Industries."

Alec tensed at the name. He fought back the urge to narrow his eyes on the man. Reinhold squinted at Logan; his brown eyes were slightly unfocused from too much champagne.

"Oh," Reinhold chortled. "Neither was I! But turned out the missus was a shrewd woman when she was alive—God rest her soul. She had invested in quite a few shares and squirreled it away for a rainy day." His cheeks jiggled as he chuckled. "A rainy day in Seattle! Ha ha!" He pounded Jonas's back a little too hard. Alec caught Jonas suppressing a grimace, his smile still firmly in place.

"Were it not for Jonas's clever accountants, I never would have known!" Reinhold winked at Logan. "Guess we're sitting on a pretty penny here, hm?"

"Johnson," Jonas said the name slowly as if savoring it. He clapped a hand on Reinhold's meaty back. "I would like you to meet my nephew, Logan."

"Logan?" Reinhold brightened. "You're sitting on a _bigger_ penny then! Ha ha. No offense…" He waved a thick fingered hand dismissively towards Logan's chair. He paused.

"Logan. Logan—yes! The injunction to stop the elections!" Reinhold held his protruding stomach when he chuckled. "There was no need. No election. Ha ha!"

Logan's face cracked into a polite grimace. "I see."

Jonas nodded as Reinhold guffawed. Alec caught the older Cale making a face when the judge snorted at his own joke.

"The board has unanimously agreed my son Bennett would make a wonderful new CEO."

Logan's knuckles around the hand rails bleached. Alec stepped closer to Logan. The brakes dug into the side of Alec's knee. 

Jonas shrugged modestly. "Sadly, I finally realized it was my time to go. Your aunt Margo has been begging me to retire for so long." He twirled the champagne glass he held. "I think my son is ready to inherit _all_ of the business matters for Cale Industries." He tapped a finger to his smirk.

"But it's not official. Not until the end of the fiscal month. But I couldn't wait to share the good news in another…" Jonas checked his watch. "Two hours." He gestured grandly towards their surroundings. "In the meantime, eat, drink, talk! I'm sure you have a lot to catch up with your cousin Bennett, Junior. After all, Bennett was so disappointed his best man couldn't show up at his wedding."

Logan smiled tightly. Alec marveled how calm Logan sounded.

"That's a good idea. I should go congratulate Bennett." Logan nodded stiffly to Reinhold. 

"We must meet again," Jonas said brightly. "I've enjoyed our weekly martini lunches. No more Cale business though, I'm afraid. That will be all in Bennett's court at the starting bell in the stock exchange in a few days."

"I'm sure you'll find some way to stay involved with the family business, Uncle Jonas." Alec could feel Logan vibrating minutely against his hip. He wanted to wrap his arms around Logan and soak the tremors away from Logan's skin.

"Oh no." Jonas waved his free hand in the air. "Your Aunt Margo insists I leave everything to Bennett. I'll just be like you, Junior: sitting back and depositing my monthly interest check."

Reinhold nearly choked on a shrimp puff as he chuckled. Alec was sorry the fat bastard was able to finally swallow it down.

"I should find Bennett," Logan repeated. He turned his chair around. He froze when Jonas spoke up again.

"Junior? That reminds me. Johnson mentioned your lawyer left something in his office last week."

Reinfold harrumphed. His mouth was stuffed with the salmon crepes. He sounded like a wheezing elephant.

"Huh? Oh yes. Very forgetful of him." Reinhold cleared his throat or swallowed a platter of scallop mousse. Alec couldn't tell. He kept his eyes on the back of Logan's head.

"Your attorney needs to be careful," Reinhold drawled as he gulped down his food to be heard. "Leaving things in a judge's chambers?" The man tutted. "Someone could misunderstand; someone might misread whatever was left. Be a shame if your friend was disbarred over a misunderstanding, son."

"I see." Logan turned around, mouth smiling, his eyes dark and unblinking. "I'll let him know he forgot something. Thank you, judge."

"Think nothing of it," Reinhold waved Logan's response off. He eyed a platter going by. "Say, is that caviar?"

"Russian." Jonas gestured the waiter to stop.

"Mm, Russian?"

"If it's to your liking, I think there are a few cases left if you want. We always order too much for these things."

Alec didn't wait to hear Reinhold's reply. He turned around, screwing up his face at the meaty clap of Reinhold's hands. He followed Logan through the crowds, his eyes glued to Logan's stiff back. 

 

The guard stopped them at the corridor.

Alec considered the square jaw and almost chunky frame in the poorly fitted cranberry red blazer. He shifted his left foot. A well placed kick could shatter the femur and the heel of his hand shoved under the voice box should be able to take him down quiet—

"…looking for the bathrooms," Logan finished.

Huh. That could work, too.

"Mr. Cale requested all non-event related rooms are to be cordoned off." The guard flicked a look at the wheelchair. His mouth pressed thin in thought.

"It's all right." Logan smiled. "I used to live here. I know my way around and avoid disrupting my uncle's guests."

"I really shouldn't allow you to wander in there," the guard hedged. He slipped his hands in his pockets.

Logan didn't pause; he pulled out a folded fifty and tucked it into the pocket of the blazer.

The guard tracked the money going into his pocket with keen brown eyes.

"Well," the guard said slowly, "if this is really an emergency." He studied Logan's chair, his lips pursed.

"None of the bathrooms on this floor have grab bars though." The guard appeared discomfited. "I could get someone to help you—"

"That's all right," Alec cut in before the guard could tap into his earwig, "I can help him." He pointed to the left. "We were told that bathroom could accommodate us."

Next to Alec, Logan's shoulders tensed. Alec inwardly winced as he imagined the possible headache brewing inside.

The guard looked both relieved and annoyed. "The west annex? Yes, your chair should fit." He spoke, however, to Alec, not Logan. Alec wanted to slam a fist into that angular jaw and pitch the eyes downward.

"Thank you," Logan said as he rolled forward an inch towards the direction.

The guard paused, checking his watch before he reluctantly offered. "I can take you ther—"

"No, no, we got it. Thanks." Alec dropped his hand over Logan's shoulder. 

"Thank you," Logan repeated as he squeezed the hand rails and propelled forward.

"If you're sure…" The guard was already peeking in his pocket to see if the money was still there.

Alec didn't bother replying. He waved a hand over his shoulder as he walked along Logan and tried not to look like he was running.

 

The sound of water bounced off the marble floors and walls.

The bathroom was _ridiculous_. He thought Logan's en-suite was large; it was a closet in comparison. There was a small whirlpool big enough to fit three people, a shower large enough for three as well and a steam bath to fit the other half dozen someone apparently thought would be using the bathroom at the same time.

A double vanity took up the width on one wall, the toilet in a discrete watercloset in the corner. There were paintings, a few sitting chairs and a goddamn bidet that took up the rest of the space.

Alec boggled at the gold veined stone statue of a naked lady balancing a marble basket on her head. It was a rich guy's take on an appropriate vessel for clean hand towels. His eyes slid away to look at something else. They landed on Logan tucked as close as he could to the sink.

"Why are we—" Alec clamped his mouth shut when Logan's hand snapped up in the air.

Logan continued splashing water on his face. He needed to lean dangerously forward to the sink to get enough of a reach. When Alec offered to help, Logan shook his head jerkily. So Alec stood guard instead by the door, his left foot jammed up against the door in case someone tries to get in. 

The sound of water and Logan's harsh breathing made Alec squirm. 

"Geez," Alec commented to fill the space with something else, "how many people did your uncle thought was going to use this all at once? A couple more naked, porny statues and it screams orgy, you know?"

A water-logged scoff replied.

"I mean, look at that. Why do you need a shower _and_ a—" 

"How long ago were you here?"

If anything, the resignation in Logan's voice was worse than the yelling Alec imagined.

Alec closed his eyes briefly. "What gave me away?"

Logan took care in picking out one of the rolled up hand towels.

"You knew where the bathrooms were before the guard could say anything." Logan wiped his hands one finger at a time. "And you knew which one was the biggest."

It felt hard to squeeze the words out from Alec's throat. "What if I said it was before I met you?"

"I wouldn't have believed you. Annex was still being built." Logan exhaled sharply. He tossed the hand towel into a basket set on the floor. 

Alec's eye twitched at the sound of wet cotton flopping down onto a pile of equally damp towels.

"I appreciate you not telling me that." Logan pulled down his glasses. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Damn it."

Alec flinched. He opened his mouth. "I—"

"Nine days."

Alec's mouth snapped shut. 

"Uh…what?" Alec managed.

"I was insisting on the hoverdrone footage and documentation on its programming. And he gave me too many excuses. And I just…let him." Logan's expression twisted. "He knew if I returned to the board of directors, if the injunction had worked, the elections would have halted so I could have time to put my name on the ballot. And as part of the board, I could have better access."

Logan left the faucet running to block their voices. The gurgling water wasn't enough to drown out the anger in Logan's voice.

"I doubt what you needed are in the company servers," Alec pointed out.

"I know. I know. But I would have been able to access the doctored company reports and present them to the board, highlighting the discrepancies." Logan slipped his glasses back on. The lenses seemed to magnify the pain in Logan's eyes.

"But now, in nine days, he's turning the whole mess over to Bennett because he knew, he _knew_ , I wouldn't insist then and drag Bennett through the mud."

"Bennett's one of the good guys, huh?" Alec leaned back on the edge of the counter, closer to Logan.

Logan nodded heavily. "I now need to get into Uncle Jonas's personal computer, access any files he might have kept off company servers, but he changes location of his home office every month." He quirked a weary smile. "Paranoia's genetic, I guess."

Alec bit his lower lip.

"A week or so before you found out about Phil," Alec said finally. "So technically, it was before I promised to not…interfere. I mean…" He tapped a finger to the counter. The stone clicked against him, but didn't echo. It sounded dead, dulled. It sounded exactly what Alec expected it to: like a husked out piece of dead Earth.

"When I was here…" Alec cleared his throat. He felt Logan's gaze on him. "The office was in this section, three doors down on your left." He pointed over his shoulder. "Think it might still be there?"

"Could be. Uncle Jonas likes his schedules."

"I could—"

"No."

Alec grimaced. 

Logan's hand palmed the side of Alec's knee. "I know what files to look for. It'll take too long to explain which ones to you." He held up a small thumb drive and with a magician's nimbleness, made it disappear from his hand. "I need you to keep an eye out, circulate the party, make excuses for my absence."

Alec's throat shrank. "What if they changed offices again?"

"Then I find the new spot."

Logan sounded freakishly calm, which only made Alec ground his teeth more. 

"If they discover you—"

"What would they do?" Logan lifted his shoulders. He squinted at Alec. His mouth twisted as he gestured to his legs.

"I'm just a guy in a wheelchair who needs help even to take a piss." Logan laughed hollowly. "People tend to believe that easily with this chair."

Alec wanted to dunk his head under the running water. It felt like his brains were boiling.

"Logan—"

"Keep an eye out." Logan rubbed a line down Alec's leg. "If I don't show up in thirty minutes—"

"Ten."

Logan narrowed his eyes at Alec. "Thirty."

"No way." A lot of hurt could happen in one thousand and eight hundred seconds. "Ten."

Logan breathed out sharply. "Twenty."

"Do you know how long it takes to bleed out and for organs to— _Ten_."

Logan shook his head. "Damn it, Alec. It'll take me two minutes at least to figure out his password and then—"

"Cale Jonas, and his corporate id number, all small caps, and it's ten or I'm gonna carry you out on my shoulder, hollering we'll be busy in the garden, do not disturb."

A flush rose up Logan's cheeks. He glared at Alec.

"I'm not coming out in ten; it's not enough time." Logan's glare eased at whatever he saw on Alec's face. "Fifteen."

Alec swallowed. "A human body can go into shock in—"

"Fifteen, Alec." Logan captured one of Alec's fists. "I'll meet you back there in fifteen."

The lump that was steadily growing in Alec's stomach felt like it was pulling him down to the ground. To hell with ten, he wanted them to leave _now_.

"Okay," Alec rasped. "You come out in fifteen or I'm going in there and breaking every rent-a-cop's leg until I find you."

Startled hazel eyes blinked up at Alec and Christ, Alec's insides were _screaming_ not to let Logan go.

"Fifteen." Logan gripped Alec's hand tight. Strong, sure fingers wiggled into Alec's cold fist and pried it to uncurl.

"Fifteen," Logan murmured, "Or you'll come get me."

"Damn straight."

 

_Eight minutes, thirty three seconds._

Alec avoided looking back at the doorway again. He smiled politely at a guest. Expensive wig, way too much plastic surgery, fake gems mixed in with real ones in her choker, the woman was the fourth one to gush on about how lovely it was Logan could find someone who didn't mind his "unfortunate condition".

Sourly, Alec wondered how much a _faux pas_ it would be to point out how _lovely_ her paste rubies looked against her diamonds.

_Nine minutes, eight seconds._

The next one toyed with a locket around her wrinkled neck and monopolized Alec's concentration. She went on and on about how Logan had _such_ promise, it was a pity what had happened to him and if only he dropped this silly writing thing and moved back home so they could get him proper care.

Alec wanted to snatch the passing silver tray and swing it at the next person who commented how "glad" he or she were.

Then maybe Alec wouldn't think about how it was _ten minutes, eleven seconds—Damn it, Heather_.

"…must be bored."

Huh? Alec tore his eyes away from tracking the guards orbiting the party. He blinked when he realized a tall blonde replaced a widow with her partially fake jewelry. Rich people pretending they were still rich in a post Pulse economy. Geez.

Unlike half the females in the room, the newcomer wore her short hair simply styled and a spaghetti strapped satin black top with her linen pants. She was practically over-dressed.

"Daphne." A fine boned hand extended out expectantly. 

"Dean He—"

"I know. Logan's date from Europe with the expensive champagne taste." Daphne's handshake was cool, almost non-existent in Alec's grip. "Word gets around."

"Seems unfair," Alec complained half-seriously. "Everyone seems to know everything about me, but I know nothing about you."

Daphne tilted her head, her ruby red lips curved into a mysterious small smile. "I was his fiancée. Well, _ex_ fiancée."

Alec's stomach lurched. 

"Oh," Alec said casually. Then, because _eleven minutes, five seconds_ was making him grumpy, Alec added "Logan's never mentioned you."

To Alec's surprise, Daphne only chuckled. "Why should he? It was a long time ago, before he graduated with his Masters." Her pale eyebrow rose. "Where's our boy anyway?"

Alec pretended to sigh. "Smoozing, glad handing, whatever you call it these days."

To Alec's relief, Daphne accepted it with a smirk.

"Or berating us for our _bourgeoisie_ ways." Daphne gestured disparagingly at the crowd with her glass. "I'm surprised Logan didn't get a rash coming in here. This place reeked snob." Daphne pretended to rub the side of her neck. "I hope someone has an Epi pen."

Alec grinned. "At the risk of endangering my standing here, why were you an _ex_ fiancée?"

Daphne's mouth pulled to a sly smile. "I thought it was because our tastes ran differently, but…" She openly measured Alec from head to toe. "Hm, I'm beginning to realize we both have the same tastes."

Alec darkened. "You're beautiful, but no thank you."

Before Alec could turn on his heel—because _twelve minutes, forty one seconds, where the hell are you_ —Daphne snagged his elbow.

"I think you misunderstood me." Daphne's smile was smaller now, but not mocking. "I meant we both like to play in our own teams."

Alec stared blankly at Daphne. Her smile broadened as his eyes widened.

"Yeah?" Alec waggled his eyebrows.

Daphne winked. 

Alec felt lightheaded, giddy, as he chuckled awkwardly. He scratched his jaw.

"You don't know what you're missing," Alec quipped.

Daphne's eyes softened. "As long as Logan isn't." She patted Alec in the arm. "I'm still looking. But I'm glad he found it. Logan's a good guy."

Alec grinned goofily at her. "He's grown on me."

Daphne smirked. "I can see that." She clinked glasses with Alec. 

"You know…" Alec said slowly. "There's someone you got to meet. I'm sure she can introduce you to some people." Or keep her for herself; Cindy was started to get that wandering look again. He eyed her. 

"You ever been to _Crash_?"

"Can't say that I have." Daphne arched an elegant eyebrow. 

"You play pool?"

Daphne's eyebrow rose higher. "Depends on who I'm playing with."

Alec grinned. "You should come check it out."

"Maybe I will." Daphne glanced past Alec's shoulder.

Alec felt Logan coming even before the sticky tread of his chair reached him. The back of his neck seemed to relax, releasing its hold on the taut wire that had been vibrating down his back. It started thrumming the moment they left the bathroom and Logan went left but Alec was forced to go right. 

The tension dissolved and it was like another head rush, one that left him wobbly enough he needed to lock his knees. Logan moved the very air around the room, pressure lifted and swelled around him. Alec suspected if he closed his eyes, he would always know where Logan is.

"Fourteen minutes and seven seconds," Alec snipped when Logan quietly rolled up to him. He spared Logan a glance. He frowned inwardly at the lines around Logan's mouth.

Even Daphne sensed Logan's mood. Her smile wavered, but she put on a good show: covering her sudden uncertainty with the tip of her glass.

"Your date was feeling abandoned, Logan," Daphne murmured. "I had to rescue him from your great aunt Harriet."

Alec pretended to shudder. "I thought she was going to pinch me."

Logan's mouth reluctantly twitched. "She used to pinch my cheeks all the time."

"Uh…I don't think we're talking about the same cheeks."

Daphne choked behind her champagne glass. 

Logan's smile though, dropped. At Alec's frown, he tried again, but his eyes were…

Alec found himself shuffling closer. But when he slipped a hand behind Logan's shoulders, the other's posture stiffened abruptly.

Startled, Alec dropped his hand. He recovered by slipping his hand in his jacket.

Next to Alec, he vaguely heard Logan and Daphne talking, their tones casual, their words polite. Yet Logan's back looked painfully straight. Alec's lower back ached in sympathy.

"I think I want to call it an early night," Alec murmured. He made a show of trying to cover up a yawn. He didn't miss the grateful look Logan shot him. And something uncoiled inside him when Logan finally looked over.

"You don't want to stay for Jonas's grand event?" Daphne wrinkled her nose. "Take me with you?" she said jokingly.

Despite the fact Daphne made it clear she was an _ex_ and will pretty much stay that way, heat flared deep in Alec's belly.

"Not really into threesomes," Alec quipped, keeping it only loud enough for Daphne and Logan to hear. Alec lightly left his hand on Logan's shoulder. He ignored how it tensed under him and the implication of it squeezed painfully in Alec's chest.

Logan sputtered and Daphne snickered.

"We'll talk next time then." Daphne shook Alec's hand. Alec averted his eyes when she stooped down to kiss Logan's cheek.

" _Crash_ ," Alec reminded Daphne. He wondered about the look Logan gave him. "Don't forget."

Daphne winked and sauntered back into the crowd.

Alec turned to Logan. 

Logan gave Alec a strange look. He opened his mouth to say something only to shake his head a second later.

"Come on," Logan murmured. His eyes darted to the guards still circulating the party. "We should go."

Alec sobered. He nodded and followed Logan through the crowds, his legs brushing against the wheels occasionally.

 

Alec wished Logan would say something.

Logan was silent as they went to his car. He was mute as he transferred himself into the driver's seat. Alec could feel Logan watching him through the rear view mirror as he folded up the wheelchair to stow it in the back. The Cale mansion shrank in the side mirror, the roads rumbled back into the broken city roads and _still_ , Logan held his tongue.

Alec studied Logan's side profile. His eyes traced the set jaw. He noted the minute movements as Logan's jaw shifted, teeth silently grinding together.

"Hey, I—"

Logan shook his head jerkily. He checked the mirror. His mouth thinned; his eyes went back to the road.

The sector gates rose up the horizon in front of them. Alec sat on his hands and silently fumed as he watched the cop do his usual patronizing bullshit about how Logan missed curfew, blah blah blah but given his _condition_ , they could make an exception for him and his _friend_.

Logan thanked him with a folded up fifty slipped into their handshake.

Alec relaxed as the gates looked far away in the mirror.

"Logan, I—"

"What did you do with the money?"

Alec wished Logan was yelling. He wished Logan was angry. Instead, the other sounded calm.

"I didn't take your money," Alec watched for the play of emotions on Logan's face. He wondered why there weren't any. He slouched into the car seat. He twisted the bowtie he had undone as soon as they left.

"I know."

Startled, Alec gaped at Logan. "Oh. Uh…I thought maybe you thought I…well…"

"I'm starting to realize I know you a lot better than I thought I did." Logan's mouth quirked wearily at the corner.

"Okay." Alec knitted his brow together. "Yay?"

Logan exhaled slowly. "When I saw the records of the trust fund and the retro-dated instructions, I knew it was your doing…" His hand twitched, floated over to Alec, but went back to the wheel instead.

"But I never thought you took the money for yourself."

Warmth curled in Alec's gut. That giddy, swirling heady feeling settled over him again. He caught himself staring at Logan. 

"I um…I just moved it a little."

"You moved a couple of million dollars into an undisclosed account in what I assume is a non-extraditable country, to be transferred back to a new account completely unrelated to Cale Industries."

"Uh…yeah. That." Alec grinned sheepishly at the look Logan slid his way. "We weren't cooked up to be hackers, but in a pinch, we know how to cover up things." His smile faded when Logan turned back forward.

"You're…" Alec gave in to the urge to rub the back of his neck. The piece of latex skin over the bar code peeled off easily in his hands. He fiddled with it, tearing it into strips. 

"You're a lot less pissed I thought you would be."

The sigh this time was long and drawn out. Alec flinched.

"Believe me, the first few minutes in front of the computer, when I saw that…" Logan shook his head. "Pissed is a milder word for it." Logan's hands curled around the steering wheel like he was holding on for dear life.

"Alec, if what I've read from Uncle Jonas's files and what I've learned…" Logan's face contorted. Alec thought it looked like Logan wanted to throw up.

"Alec, it's blood money." 

Alec grunted. "Probably."

" _Probably_?"

"Look, maybe your trust fund got a little fatter because of whatever nefarious thing your uncle did. But that's not on you."

Logan's knuckles were stark against the dark steering wheel. 

"It's not like you were spending that money on babes, caviar and the fast life. _I_ would have." Alec crumpled the skin graft. 

"Hell, you don't even buy porn," Alec grumbled half-heartedly. "You're a saint. Do you know how freaking annoying that is?"

Logan snorted. He sobered immediately. His bleak eyes stared out into the windshield. "Alec, I get what you're saying, but that doesn't justify—"

"What? You spending every dime of it on your crusade, on your life's work? Because it is, isn't it? Your life's work. _Eyes Only_ saved a lot of people." Alec wished Logan would look at him. He get why Logan couldn't with the driving and oh my god, squirrel on the road, what the fuck, but Alec wished Logan stopped staring out the front like the answers were out there. 

"You were going to out Cale Industries with _Eyes Only_ , weren't you?"

Logan made a pained sound that sank like a razor blade under Alec's skin.

"When I started suspecting my uncle had something to do with the killings, something to do with a side project with the hoverdrones…" Logan's car rolled over a pothole, cutting off his gruff words.

"And if _Eyes Only_ says something?"

"The government steps in, everybody acts all shocked." Logan smiled grimly. "Then they seize the assets of Cale Industries in a show of civic outrage: confiscate the company, the trust."

Alec grunted. "Exactly."

"Alec—"

"No, don't _Alec_ me. I knew when I saw those files, saw how they were funneling the profits to the various trust funds to stay legit on paper…" Alec sucked in his breath.

"I thought you might—no, I _knew_ you were going to react this way." Alec spied Logan's arms flexing in response.

"You were going to say, 'To hell with it' and pull an _Eyes Only_ on your uncle anyway." Alec grimaced when Logan flinched. "I'm right, aren't I?"

"My decision wasn't as cavalier as you made it. I gave my uncle every chance to redeem himself. I asked him to help me." The steering wheel creaked under Logan's grip.

"He swore he didn’t know what was going on. Lied right to my face. Didn’t even blink."

"So you're going to do a righteous 'Fuck you' by turning your nose on your money and squeal, let Big Brother shut it all down?"

"Rather than let him and his cronies skate off. It's the right thing to do—"

"Newsflash," Alec rasped, "The right thing to do _died_ when the Pulse hit and munched up all your ones and zeroes." He balled up a fist and thumped it on the passenger door. "Not much you can do when you're dead broke. Been there, got the damn t-shirt and a bunch of icky memories for it." 

"I own my apartment. Got some art I can sell. I would have been all right. And Cale Industries would have been out of the murder business for good."

Alec grunted. "Great, you had a contingency plan for going broke, too. Why am I not surprised?"

"Alec, this lifestyle of mine...a lot of people died to enrich Cale Industries and my net worth..."

"Again. Not on you." Alec wanted to reach over and shake Logan. "That money? Yeah, it's dirty. Could have been even _before_ the Pulse, but the thing is, you're doing some good with it." 

Alec gestured towards the window, at the broken streets whizzing by.

"How much good you think you could do selling a bunch of pictures?" Alec narrowed his eyes. "Or is this some white guy, rich man's fancier way of self-flagellation?" 

Logan's voice sharpened. "I'm not trying to punish myself."

Alec grunted. "You sure? You don't have the scars or the cuts to show for it, but I can hear that whip whaling on you." He lowered his voice. 

"No one's going to think you're a hypocrite if you keep that money, babe."

Logan swallowed convulsively. "I’ve been living a lie. That money, it came from bad things, Alec, very bad things. How could I possibly use something like that, knowing where it came from?"

Alec felt cold. He absently rubbed his arms. 

"So…was I living a lie, too?"

Startled, Logan shot Alec a wide-eyed look.

Alec picked at the thread Original Cindy made to take in the inseam.

"I was made from very bad things," Alec said quietly. The words clawed out of his throat. It felt like sandpaper scraping up his tongue.

"I try not to, you know, do those things anymore, but…" Alec shrugged.

"I came from pretty nasty stuff, from a place with nasty intentions." Alec smiled bitterly. "They made a monster, but I'm trying not to stay a monster, but if you're saying…"

Logan's hand dropped on Alec's knee.

"If I say it's not the same thing?" Logan rasped, "Would you believe me?"

"Mm, nope, probably not." Alec gripped Logan's hand, keeping it there. "If I said no one is going to prosecute you for keeping that money to keep fighting the good fight, would you believe me?"

Logan swallowed.

"Give that money a chance to fix things," Alec murmured. "Some good can come out of it, right?"

Logan sucked in his breath. Alec squeezed the other hand tight. The captured fingers bleached in his grip.

"Second chances, babe," Alec said quietly. "No one judging us except the ones in the car." He gulped. "If you really want to do this, I'll…I'll put the money back. We'll figure something out, but babe, I'm learning stuff's only bad by what you do with it. Right?"

Slowly, tentatively, Logan's hand squeezed back.

"All right," Logan said, subdued. "Keep the money where it is. I…" He blinked rapidly. "I might need help too." He fumbled. "My uncle, he couldn't be working alone, but I was so focused on trying to persuade…"

Alec pulled Logan's hand to his mouth. "We'll talk about it tomorrow, okay?"

A crooked smile cracked on Logan's drawn face. "Okay."

Alec loosened his grip. He grinned when Logan didn't move his hand, opting to use his left to navigate the gas and brake levers. He sagged back into the passenger seat and watched the sparse street lights play with the contours of Logan's face.

"Question."

"Hm?"

"If you were broke and have to liquidate, what were you going to sell first?"

A more natural fitting smirk curved on Logan's face.

"Well…I was thinking your orgy vases."

"You _bitch_."

Logan laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the most exciting chapter, I know. 
> 
> Your patience is _always_ appreciated.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Nothing pivoting, just lots of sex and talking as we build up to the AU events of "I Am and I Am A Camera"

Alec woke when Logan almost broke his nose.

With a sleepy grunt, Alec roused in time to duck Logan's restless head rocking back towards his nose again. He didn't let go of Logan; he just leaned his head out of the way.

Waking up this way was nothing new. Hell, it felt like they took turns on who will have a bad night next.

"You're okay," Alec murmured from a safe distance on the bed. He carefully rubbed a soothing line down Logan's sweat damp spine. "Hey, it's oka—Whoa!" He yelped when an elbow came a little too close to something vulnerable.

Shoulders jerking as if breaking free from a hold, Logan fought his demons with his eyes shut, his jaw set and his mouth bleeding. 

Logan had bitten his lip.

Swearing, Alec reached one hand behind him to turn on the lamp; the other curled over Logan's shoulder.

Logan's mumbling was louder now, angrier. His words, while unclear, held the blunt tone of a bark. Alec thought he heard Logan curse. He thought he heard Logan beg.

"Hey, it's okay…come on." Alec slumped over Logan's twitching body to still him before the other rolled off the bed. There was a flutter in the base of Alec's throat as he fought the urge to grab Logan by the shoulders and just violently shake him, shake the raw sawing sounds out of Logan. He sounded like a cornered animal who hasn't realized it was dead yet.

Finally, Alec couldn't take the choked off syllables of the dying. He pressed his mouth to the other's ear.

" _Logan!_ "

With a gasp, Logan jerked. He stared out of his side of the bed. He panted. 

Alec stayed draped over Logan. His legs sandwiched Logan's, his arms were wound tight around Logan's middle, his mouth moved rapidly against Logan's ear. He wasn't sure what he was saying. He stopped caring when Logan began that horribly wounded noise.

"…it's okay…it's okay…" 

Alec didn't know what else to tell Logan. He rubbed his palms down Logan's heaving chest. Up and down, as if he could soothe the pounding beat slamming against Logan's ribs.

"…lec?" Logan sounded hoarse like he'd been shouting. Maybe he had.

"Yeah." Alec pressed his lips to Logan's hair. "God, you're soaked. Bad one?"

Logan choked. He shuddered. 

Alec wrapped his limbs tighter around Logan while the other shook himself apart. He rubbed his chin on Logan's shoulder. He felt Logan tremble; it didn't go away.

"I…give me a minute," Logan croaked. He pulled himself out of Alec's hold and sat up.

Alec felt cold the second Logan's body eased away from his. He stayed on his side, brow furrowed as he watched Logan drop his face in his hands. He waited as Logan took a shuddering breath, then another, before scrubbing his face with his palms. When Logan pulled his hands away, Alec noted it didn't help.

"I know we don't always want to talk about them," Alec murmured. 

Logan coughed. He held up a hand and shook his head.

"I know, but—" Alec reached out a hand to lightly splay on Logan's lower back. When Logan violently shuddered, Alec sat up.

"Shit." Alec ran his hands down Logan's arms. "You're _freezing_." 

Goosepimples were down Logan's arms. He felt cold and clammy. His shivering released droplets of sweat pooled in Logan's clavicle and skimmed down the lean body. They looked like tears. 

"I'll be fine," Logan muttered. He rubbed his arms absently. "Just need a minute to get my head in order."

Alec sat cross-legged next to him. He waited, which, hey, personal feat. But when he caught Logan shivering for the third time, he couldn't ignore the thrumming in his limbs to move.

"Come on." Alec yanked the covers free from their legs. He wrapped Logan in the blankets. He half-bodily hauled Logan into the nearby wheelchair. Logan blinked dazedly up at Alec.

Alec's skin prickled when Logan didn't protest Alec taking hold of the wheelchair. He steered Logan into the en-suite, holding back from running even though his guts knotted the longer Logan stayed silent. He looked at the shower; he looked at the tub. When he caught Logan shivering again, he made his decision.

"I can't get into that," Logan protested feebly when he roused further to the sight of Alec filling the bathtub.

"Let me worry about it." Alec glanced at Logan's feet. He didn't like how blue they looked. "The hot water works better in submersion."

Logan fell silent which Alec decided was a lot worse. He kept checking over his shoulder, catching Logan under a mound of blankets staring bleakly at the tub.

When Alec determined the tub was filled to what was needed, he paused. He sat on his heels and turned slowly to Logan.

"Let me do the work, okay?" Alec said softly. "Just this once."

Bloodshot eyes swirled gold then a brown that was almost black. Logan glanced at the bathtub. His jaw shifted, mouth moving as he debated. Another shiver racked his frame and Logan's shoulders slumped.

Alec sat on the edge of the tub. He made no move as Logan's wheelchair edged closer.

The blankets dropped to the floor abruptly as if daring anyone to say anything. Logan sat hunched over, skin waxen, looking too small, too vulnerable in the chair.

Alec stayed where he was, watching as Logan rolled to the bathtub, inch by inch like he was marching to his execution. Their knees met, knocking briefly, but only one feeling it. 

Logan leaned forward. Alec mirrored him. Their arms met in the middle and settled on each other's hips and backs. Without a word, Alec tucked his arms under Logan's legs and swung him over to Alec's lap. Alec wished there was a more dignified way that wouldn't stiffen Logan into a stiff doll in Alec's arms. Carefully—because Logan felt like he would balk any minute—Alec lowered them both into the tub.

Warm, almost too hot, water rose as they sank. Steam fizzled up, obscuring their view but not drowning out the clear sound of displaced water spilling over the edge and onto the tiled floor.

Alec positioned himself, Logan gingerly twisting until he sat between Alec's legs. Together, they leaned back on one end of the tub.

Water continued spilling, waterfalls crashing to the floor and escaping into the drain in the center of the bathroom.

Logan was heavy. And yet, he wasn't. Alec tentatively snaked an arm around Logan's stomach. Logan sat, supported against Alec, his upper body rigid and slightly away. They silently watched the water dribble over the side.

Bath water sloshed. It spilled noisily to the tiles. The water in the tub rose, escaped, before settling back into a smooth surface. Alec could see their legs stretched out across the tub, their hands folded over. The submerged image distorted. It reminded Alec too much of a larger pool that tasted of chlorine, the muffled ticking of a stopwatch, of people drowning to the left and right of him because they didn't have permission to break surface.

Shaking his head free from memory, Alec rested his chin on Logan's shoulder.

Water violently rocked and reeled over the side.

Logan took a deep breath.

Water rippled in his wake and splashed over the edge.

 _Plop, plop, plop_.

"Damn Archimedes," Alec muttered, unable to help himself.

Logan's shoulders jittered. He slumped into Alec and laughed.

Alec grinned into Logan's hair. Brown strands were dark, soaking up the water and curling up to poke Alec against his cheek. 

"Please," Logan rasped when he settled down, "don't jump out of the tub shrieking 'Eureka.'"

"Jump out of a tub where there's a very naked you in it? Are you crazy?"

Logan scooped up water and flung it at him. Alec sputtered.

"Ingrate." Alec pulled Logan closer. He swallowed as the firm curve of Logan's ass pressed into his groin. Logan didn't react, of course, which quelled the fire stirring in Alec's gut. That and the fact Logan was still shaking, albeit not as violently as before.

Alec kept one arm curled around Logan's middle. He cupped his other hand and dipped into the warm water.

Water sluiced over Logan's broad shoulders and down his arms. He didn't twitch. He didn't flinch. He sat against Alec, slouched over as if Alec's arm was the only thing holding him above the surface. 

The temperature was hot. The bathtub was deep enough to keep the water warm. Sweat trickled down Alec's face. His arm was flushed from the heat. 

But Logan was still shivering.

Alec rubbed soothing circles over Logan's abdomen as he poured water over every inch of skin not submerged in the tub. He wiggled, his legs bracketing either side of Logan's legs, and let Logan sink deeper.

Logan twitched.

"I got ya…" Alec's nose nuzzled the spot behind Logan's ear. "I got ya…"

Logan's arms floated languidly in the bath before lining up over Alec's arms. 

Together, the limbs moved as water continued to run down Logan's chest. It spilled between their bodies. Ripples displaced the water to the edge and dripped over like tears.

Against Alec, Logan seemed to have settled, his body relaxing into a boneless slump. His skin was finally pink; supple to the touch. Logan's head lolled, his temple bumping against Alec's jaw.

Alec kissed Logan's hair. He kissed the top of Logan's ear. He mouthed the firm line of Logan's neck. His hand kept scooping up water and pouring it over Logan's body. Somehow, it felt right: the unspoken agreement to stay quiet and let the water serenade them.

Logan rested his head against Alec's chin. He kept his arms over Alec's, letting Alec guide him in the water, swimming, treading water together.

"Better?" Alec murmured. He nuzzled Logan's hair. "You stopped shaking."

Logan grunted.

Undeterred, Alec stirred the water around with his free hand. They silently watched ripples ebb away from their bodies before smoothing out to glass.

After a beat, Logan stirred the water around with a strike of his hand.

Disturbed water knocked to the sides, spilling, splashing.

Alec didn't comment. He poured water down Logan's head and let it stream down his back. He swiped his palm across damp shoulders. He let it stay there, in the small of Logan's back. He could feel the vibrating strain in Logan's spine as it remained rigid.

"Talk to me," Alec murmured. He let a handful of bath water sluice down Logan's upper chest. He massaged the pecs with the heel of his hand. He lowered his hand and rubbed slow circles into Logan's stomach. Muscles tensed then relaxed under Alec's palm.

With a stifled groan, Logan turned his head on Alec's shoulder. His nose shoved into Alec's throat.

"Relax," Alec soothed, "I got you."

Logan's breathing was ragged to Alec's ears. Alec wrapped his other arm around Logan and let himself bob slightly in the water with Logan. 

"I was in the city morgue," Logan whispered, but it sounded loud in the space. They both flinched.

Alec trickled more water down Logan's chest. His fingers chased after the moisture, nails lightly scratching muscles as they went. He suppressed a start when Logan finally continued after falling silent for so long.

"I saw myself in front of a gurney…" Logan swallowed hard; it felt like a jab against Alec's sternum. 

"I thought 'I know what this is' but I couldn't stop myself from going closer." Logan's shoulders tensed in memory. 

Alec dropped a soft kiss on Logan's hunched shoulder.

"I remembered thinking this was me. I led Bli—I did this."

Alec closed his eyes briefly. He rested his forehead on the top of Logan's head. 

"Babe…" 

"…it wasn't Bling."

Alec's eyes flew open. With both arms around Logan, Alec drew up his knees and wrapped his legs around the shuddering body.

"It didn't happen," Alec murmured. "It didn't happen…"

"They took you right in front of me," Logan went on as if Alec didn't say anything. "They nailed my useless legs to the ground and made me watch them cut you open. They—"

"It didn't happen."

"God, your screams…" 

"Sh…It didn't happen…" Alec wished he could turn Logan around so the other could see him. He tightened his hold on Logan, pulling him close to his body. Water splashed. Water spilled. Water cooled. Alec didn't _care._

Logan shook his head. He dropped it back to Alec's shoulder. His eyes were closed.

Alec twisted, prodded Logan until he sat on Alec's thighs, his body curled sideways into Alec's. Water sloshed loudly in their wake, but not loud enough to drown out Logan's harsh breathing.

Tugging Logan flushed to his chest didn't feel like it was enough. Alec's mouth traced the topography of Logan's face, his hands clasped together around Logan.

"Look. Look," Alec whispered. He kissed Logan's shut eyes. "I'm right here. Look."

Red rimmed eyes cracked open. Logan's eyes were a dull brown, ringed with gold.

Alec smiled tightly. He palmed the side of Logan's face.

"Hey." 

Logan smiled weakly.

"Hey," Logan rasped. He wearily dropped his head on Alec's shoulder.

Alec rubbed Logan's arm up and down.

"Are you really okay with this?" Alec said finally. He felt Logan stir against him. "Me involved in your cases, in the stuff going on with your uncle?" He breathed out sharply. "I know I said we talk about it tomorrow—well, technically it _is_ tomorrow, but…" His forehead tipped forward to rest on Logan's hair.

"I guess tonight shows I'm not okay with it, not really." Logan's head nudged back. He rolled his shoulders to fit against Alec's body. 

Alec swallowed hard. "We both know if I promise to stay out of it, I'll be lying out of my ass." He pulled Logan tight to him. Water rippled. "I need you to be okay with this."

Logan sighed heavily. "You come back from each mission in one piece and I'll be okay. Eventually."

Alec murmured over Logan's jaw.

"I'll always come back."

Logan craned up and pressed his mouth to Alec's. The moment their lips met, Alec thought his skin tingled on contact. Logan's lips were soft from the bath and heat. Alec licked Logan's lower lip before dipping his head lower. Logan cupped the back of Alec's head and jaw and pulled him closer to crush their mouths together. His eyes were wide open now, stark and desperate. His hands curled, tugging Alec's hair almost painfully.

Alec sank into the kiss with a groan. He suckled on Logan's lip before pressing in closer for a taste of Logan's mouth.

Their kiss turned frantic, soft nips sharpening to bites, gasps rolling into half-choked names, tongues battling for dominance, bodies gliding then grinding for more contact.

A small voice in the back of Alec's mind said maybe they should stop; he recognized the need to be lost in sex rather than everything else. But he tasted Logan's skin, the droplets of water tinged with salt and that small voice fled. He tugged Logan harder to him. Water flew up on impact when their chests collided and he forgot why stopping might be significant.

Alec gripped Logan's ass hard, his fingers searching, finding, breaching…

"Yes," Logan groaned. Muscles relaxed from the water; it accepted Alec's finger without resistance.

Logan's breath stuttered. He writhed in Alec's grip. He leaned back, his weight sinking Alec's finger deeper into that hot clench.

Alec's vision blurred as he added another finger. Logan moaned his approval. Alec drew up his knees again, trapping Logan between them, keeping him afloat and freeing Alec's other hand to…

Logan arched when Alec caught his cock in an iron grip. Alec abandoned finesse for a brutal pace. He fisted Logan's cock; he urged it to fill; he pulled and tugged as his other hand breached Logan again and again with three fingers.

Water crashed against tub and bodies as Logan's upper body thrashed. He slammed into Alec when a tug around his erection jerked him forward; he snapped back when Alec's fingers crooked sharp and deep in his body.

Logan cried out Alec's name over and over. It sounded like a prayer. He curled hands on Alec's biceps as he rode the double assaults. He half sobbed when he came, dropping heavily onto Alec as he collapsed.

Alec panted. He had come somewhere before, but already his cock was stiffening for more. He felt Logan's hands searching, petting him in the water. Alec was dizzy with want. 

A moan escaped Alec's lips as long fingers wrapped around him and began the long leisurely pull Logan always started with. It was like Logan was testing the weight of Alec's cock, deeming it worthy as his grip tightened and his strokes sped up to something that rivaled Alec's.

Alec's legs clenched around Logan, wrapped around Logan's middle so tight, Alec was amazed he wasn't squeezing the air out of him. 

Logan slumped against Alec. His upper body was boneless, yet his hand was firm and sure. His words were a warm, moist tease into Alec's ear. Nothing made complete sentences. Words were often broken off. Nothing spelled out and made sense.

But Alec understood him. He wrapped his arms around Logan, one hand slipping back to burrow deep into Logan's body. He rocked into Logan's fist even as his fingers piston into that tight channel.

"I'm right here," Alec whispered over and over. "I'm right here, babe. Not going anywhere. You won't let them. I know. I know you have my back." 

Logan shuddered as Alec's fingers lanced across his prostate, milking him and wringing every sensation he could. Alec fucked Logan's hand even as his hand claimed Logan. The slick skin slipped against each other. Wet bodies glided, seeking to fit. Alec wrapped legs and an arm around Logan, wishing as he did many times before he could bury Logan under his skin and somehow still burrow under Logan's.

A sharp thrust struck deep into Logan's insides; Logan threw his head back. He cried out Alec's name; his fist spasmed and squeezed Alec. The grip was so tight; Alec felt himself coming with such force he startled himself. The violence of his orgasm felt strong despite the water. He shook, coming between their bodies in thick ribbons, clouding the water. He was barely able to hold on as Logan came with equal force.

Dazed, Alec let Logan's body weigh him down. They briefly sank below the surface before Alec pulled them back up.

Alec panted. He rested his head on the tub edge. Logan laid heavily on him, twisted awkwardly in his lap, head lolling on Alec's wet shoulder. Logan gasped, winded. 

The bathroom blurred the longer Alec stared at the ceiling. Water from the taps burbled, cooler now because even a fancy building like Logan's suffered water limits in a bankrupt, post Pulse metropolis.

Logan fidgeted. Alec bit back a moan. He felt heat stirring in the pit of his stomach the more Logan moved against him. He draped his arms loosely around Logan's shoulders. Part of him was raring to go again; another part just wanted to curl around Logan and sleep for a week. His eyes drifted closed. He savored the water, lukewarm, but calm and almost like silk on his skin.

A hand cradled Alec's dick, squeezing, lifting…

Alec's eyes flew open when he felt himself resting against the cleft of Logan's ass. Unfortunately, he was trained to react suddenly and strongly to anything. 

So when Alec felt his cock sliding in-between Logan's buttock cheeks and brushing against the other's entrance, Alec overreacted.

Body jerking forward, arms flailing, Alec's knees knocked into Logan's ribs. Logan started, slipped out of Alec's grip and sank into the tub. A flurry of bubbles rose to the surface.

Shit.

Alec grabbed the arms that shot out of the water slapping around for the tub edge. Logan pulled himself up the same time Alec yanked him up and they crashed into each other. Hard.

Logan's head smacked Alec's chin. The room flared a brilliant white. Alec yelped, clutched Logan before he sank again. Chin throbbing, ass slipping, Alec fell back, his shoulders slapping into the water.

There was a small roar as an Alec made tsunami made a break for the tub. Water poured over the edge, leaving only a few inches of water to barely cover their tangled legs. 

Logan's face was smashed into Alec's collar bone, his arms spread. His right arm was pinned between Alec's arm and the bathtub; the other draped dripping over the edge; his right knee was dangerously close to Alec's dick.

The drain on the floor burped as the last of the bath water got sucked away. Droplets of water splashed loudly as they dripped over the tub edge and down to the tiny puddles below. The steam long dissipated. It was starting to get cold. 

Alec and Logan lay in the emptied bathtub, wheezing simultaneously, too twisted around each other to move. Alec thought it was a damn shame they weren't breathless for a more enjoyable reason.

A spot on Alec's nose itched. He couldn't reach it because one hand was trapped between their bodies and it took too much effort to move the other hand currently draped over Logan's cute bare ass. But damn his nose itched!

"Stupid Archimedes," Logan mumbled into Alec's shoulder.

Alec hugged Logan tighter to his chest and howled with laughter. A few moments later, Logan joined him.

 

Logan didn't notice Alec.

Alec sat backwards on the couch, his chin resting on his folded arms. He watched from his angle into the exercise room. He smirked to himself when Logan finished up his bicep curls. He enjoyed how Logan's gray sweat pants grew damp and clung to the other's legs, especially around the quads and the swell between them. He counted silently as Logan did his adaptive sit ups next. His eyebrow rose when Logan went past his usual five sets and went on to his sixth and seventh without pause.

The flashdrive sat heavy in Alec's back pocket. It reminded him why he wasn't only here to ogle at a sweaty Logan this morning. It also suggested why Logan seemed to be determined to push past his endurance and drive himself into the ground. 

"Hey," Alec called out when Logan started on yet another set. 

Logan abruptly stopped. He sat hunched over on the elevated platform. Sweat dripped from unruly brown bangs. Logan's hair looked almost black with perspiration.

"You're late," Logan rasped as he tugged his top over his head. Alec watched, his mouth dry, as Logan absently wiped down his chest and shoulders with the top. His chest hair was matted with sweat and his pecs heaved even though the sets were done. 

"Seventeen minutes late, to be exact." Logan reached behind him for a towel. He placed the terry material over his face and breathed out sharply. 

Alec grimaced. He aimed for the fridge.

"Sorry about that. The rent-a-cops over at your uncle's office switched around rotations today. Took an additional five minute overlap on shifts." Alec scanned the fridge and grabbed the sandwiches Logan made for lunch, two bottles of water and a pear. "I got some files from R and D though."

"You should have aborted," Logan said, his voice sharp despite being buried in a face towel. Logan pulled the material away and wiped his brow. Despite his exertions, he was surprisingly pale.

Alec frowned as he dumped the stuff on the kitchen island.

"Abort? Because of a shift change? It was onl— _Shit_!"

Alec seen it before Logan realized it himself: a tremor racking Logan's arm, a muscle spasm along the triceps, buckling the elbow supporting Logan as he readied to drop into his chair.

The exercise platform scraped loudly when Alec's hip banged into it in his haste to reach Logan. He caught Logan as he pitched sideways. Logan slammed into Alec with a grunt. It felt like Logan hung in midair briefly before Alec found himself with an armful of Logan.

A band squeezed around Alec's skull, threatening to pop his head off his shoulders. He stood, frozen in his tracks, his arms wrapped tight under Logan's arms. He panted, unsure why he was as winded as Logan sounded. 

Alec gulped and pressed his face into Logan's trembling shoulder. 

After another long moment, Logan stirred. He seemed to have recovered from whatever it was. Alec eased Logan back onto the platform.

"Thanks." Logan pulled away quicker, He tried to drag himself to the safety of the center of the platform, but his arms folded again. He gave up and rested his forehead on Alec's shoulder. "Shit."

"Agreed," Alec managed. He curled his hands on Logan's elbows. 

Alec could feel the strain shaking deep within Logan's bones. He could feel his heart slamming into his ribs. He hadn't felt like this even when he was almost cornered by one of the guards (he was not going to tell Logan about that). He dropped his chin on top of Logan's head. 

Logan breathed out slowly. It only felt right Alec did the same.

They remained there: Alec standing between Logan's knees, Logan half slumped into Alec. The air felt thick. Hell, the air _tasted_ thick. Alec thought he could feel the sweat and the lingering sour tang of fear. 

"How long were you on this thing?" Alec murmured. He massaged the tendons connected to Logan's elbows. He felt them twitch and vibrate as Alec coaxed the tension to seep away.

"You were late." Logan sounded like he was half asleep.

Alec took a step closer. He felt Logan exhale unsteadily against his throat. He absently rubbed up and down Logan's arms.

"Sorry," Alec whispered. "I didn't think seventeen minutes was a big deal."

Logan choked out a bitter laugh. "It shouldn't be." 

Alec's hands moved down and clasped over Logan's lower back. 

"I think we need me to go to the other lab," Alec said softly. "All I found in this one was the encrypted list of the engineers who wrote the adapted software."

Logan huffed against Alec. He nodded. 

"Yeah. Okay."

Alec shrank his hold around Logan. He felt Logan's damp chest on his shirt. He pulled Logan closer and felt his shirt getting wet.

"Are you going to do this each time I'm running a mission?" Alec crossed his arms on Logan's back. He felt Logan buried his face into Alec's shoulder.

"Check the night shift supervisor," Logan murmured. "The records I pulled showed an uptick in power usage _after_ working hours."

"They're testing out something when everyone is gone for the day," Alec agreed. "And you didn't answer my question."

Logan huffed on Alec's chest. "Thought you like me all hot and sweaty after my workout."

"Hate to tell you this, but it's less sexy when paired off with a broken neck." Alec hunched over Logan's form, his arms tightening. 

"Look, this isn't the first time I was poking into your business. Only this time it's with your blessing."

"Or curse," Logan muttered.

Alec dropped his chin on Logan's shoulder.

Logan exhaled unevenly against Alec.

"I'll make sure I'm not late again," Alec whispered.

Logan shakily raised his hands and clapped them on Alec's arms.

"You can't promise that."

"Did sweat get into your ears? Because I could have sworn I just did."

Logan placed a hand on Alec's chest and gently pushed him back.

"You and I both know anything can go wrong when I send you out there."

Alec grimaced. He tracked Logan as the other shifted his weight from hip to hip. This time, he transferred quickly into the chair. The vise around Alec's chest didn't go away though. 

"I'm good at what I do," Alec said to Logan's back as he wheeled towards the wrapped sandwiches Alec dropped on the floor.

Logan grunted as he bends down. "Alec, I appreciate trying to calm down my hysterics—"

"Whoa, you were hysterical? Damn, I missed it. Totally would have offered you CPR."

Logan shot Alec a look over his shoulder. Alec was tempted to climb into Logan's lap and demonstrate his first aid skills.

Alec crouched down in front of Logan and picked up the food. He held up one sandwich, his other hand curled into a loose fist which he used to bop Logan on the shoulder.

"I get it," Alec murmured. "You worry. That's your thing. I…" He ducked his head. "How much of an asshole would I be if I said it's kinda nice? To have someone worry. Even if there's no need?"

Logan carded his fingers through Alec's hair. His touch danced over Alec's skull.

"Need or not," Logan said. "I worry. It's my thing. Or so I've been told." 

"You know, you got two other—"

"No," Logan said sharply.

Alec rocked back on his heels. "I know I told you I'm good at what I do, but that detective of yours and Phil could be useful."

Logan shook his head. "Bad enough I got you into this mess—"

"What mess? This? Babe, I've been sent to clean up messes. _This_ is nothing." Alec tipped his head into Logan's hand cradling his face. 

"I need to think about it," Logan rasped. He sagged back in the chair.

Alec kissed Logan's palm before it pulled away.

It was distracting to see Logan, sweaty, boneless, without his shirt. A dark trail of hair disappeared into the sagging waistline of Logan's pants. It gaped open, over the planes of a hard stomach, clinging to the gentle swell of—

"You're not wearing any underwear," Alec blurted out. Damn it. His dick has the worse timing ever; his jeans shrank around him, pressing his stirring erection into the soft cotton of his briefs and the sharp contours of a zipper.

Logan plucked his pants open and blinked distractedly inside. 

"Oh. I guess I'm not." Logan gave Alec a look. He scratched his jaw as he unwrapped his sandwich. "I was keeping my eye on the clock; I forgot."

Alec's mouth went dry.

Something flickered in Logan's eyes. He straightened in the chair.

"What?" 

"Could you, uh, do that more often?" Alec half-squeaked. 

Logan arched an eyebrow. Bemused, he glanced down at his lap again. His mouth twitched.

"Well," Logan murmured. "I suppose…" His thumb traced the seam of Alec's lips. "If you promise to come back safe and sound each time, I think I could remember to forget about the…" He shrugged.

Alec's mouth snapped shut. He gaped at Logan.

"Dude, are you trying to bribe with _sex_?"

Uncertainty drifted over Logan. He smiled cautiously.

"Is…is it working?"

"Put down that sandwich and let me show you."

 

 

Phil looked like he was either about to pee in his pants, swoon or both.

Alec held up a dirt stained hand to halt whatever babbling the guy was about to verbally vomit on him. He smelled like the sewers. Hell, he was pretty sure he still wore half of Seattle's sewers in his drenched clothing. He was stinky, sore and hungry. He wanted a shower, pizza and Logan; better if at the same time.

Despite the palm in front of him, Phil didn't take the hint. In a choir of spinning gears and frantic noises, Phil headed right for the window and hauled Alec the rest of the way into the living room.

"Hey! What the hell?" Alec glowered at Phil as he hopped away. He brushed his hands down his rigging. 

"Watch it! This stuff isn't cheap!" Well, the place Alec stole them from wasn't cheap.

"You're late!" Phil's brown eyes were doing a ping pong thing as he looked at Alec then to the side. "When you told me to report you were running late, you failed to mention you were going to be _this_ late. Now he's going to see why you were late and I was too late to tell him I could go myself, but by then it was too late and now you're here but he's not and…"

Alec frowned. He brushed back bangs plastered over his ears. It didn't help. 

"What?" Alec asked blankly. He glanced around the room.

"Where is our fearless leader?" Alec's eyes narrowed. He mentally reviewed Phil's babble.

"How long ago?"

Phil held up his hand and wiggled all his fingers.

"Damn it." Squishy boots forgotten, Alec bolted for the door.

 

 

Alec ran into Logan as his car headed for the exit.

Okay, Logan's car ran into _Alec_ as it headed for the exit.

Alec had burst out of level P2, his sodden boots skidding briefly on the ramp. He searched for Logan's car. He blinked, struck aback by the sight of Logan's silver hatchback steering right for him. 

There was a screech of brakes. A flash of headlights. Logan's pale face snapped back as he wrenched down the brake lever.

Years of Lydecker's twisted screwed up training galvanized Alec's feet before Alec's _Oops_ registered. He jumped, hip lightly bumping the hood as Alec neatly rolled up and over Logan's car. He landed on his feet, of course. By the time Alec realized what had and almost happened, he was gaping at Logan's mud streaked license plate.

Let's hear it for Manticore. Yay?

Alec slipped as he scrabbles for the driver's door. He yanked it open.

And ducked.

"Hey!" Alec yelped as Logan's fist sailed past where his chin would have been. He stared up from his crouched position.

Logan was breathing heavy, face white, one fist still on the wheel. His eyeglasses were missing. 

"Where the hell were you?" Logan's red rimmed eyes glared at Alec. He faced forward again like he was going to drive off regardless.

Alec grimaced. 

Harsh breathing occupied the space between them. Alec stayed huddled next to the driver's side.

"You okay?" Logan asked, clipped. He uncurled his hand from the steering wheel with visible difficulty.

Alec wasn't sure if Logan was asking about the mission or the car. It didn't look like Logan knew either. He nodded and hoped that answer was enough.

"You came out of nowhere," Logan offered by way of apology.

"I was trying to catch you before you headed to the lab." Alec stayed balanced on the balls of his feet by the driver's seat. He gripped the top of the driver's seat. The leather creaked. "I…Phil said you were goin—why the hell didn't you stay put?" 

Alec reached in with his other hand and flipped open Logan's jacket.

Logan grabbed both ends of his coat and tugged it shut. But not before Alec caught sight of the double holsters.

"Christ, Log—"

"You were late."

Alec's mouth pressed thin. "I was late the last three missions, too. But I always came bac—"

Logan snapped his glare to Alec.

"Alec, you were _two hours_ late."

Alec's words died. He dropped his head. 

"Yeah," Alec murmured. "I…yeah…"

"You okay?" 

This time, Logan's question was softer, the initial edge gone.

Alec shrugged one shoulder. "Had to change my escape route." He hesitated then decided the hell with it.

"Two of those hyped up friends of ours were patrolling the perimeter."

Logan's eyes whipped to Alec. 

"I don't have my glasses on," Logan said tersely. "Are you hurt?"

Alec shrugged. "Couple of scrapes, but I'm still pretty. Thought I better avoid too much one on one time with them though until I can get more intel on them." He made a face. 

"I took the long way around so I wouldn't lead them back to you. Ended up in sector nine and had to make my way back on foot." Thank god Alec left his ride in Logan's garage. He just had it tuned. 

Logan's hand peeled away Alec's collars. Fingers prodded his throat, inspecting, anchoring.

"They spotted you?"

"Not long enough to get my face." Alec shook his head. "I tripped an alarm. Wasn't in the plans I took this morning." 

Logan frowned. "New security measures this close to a change in CEOs? I don't like it."

Alec blew out through his nose. "Couldn't get anything from the lab. I got squat."

Logan stroked the side of Alec's face. Alec shivered. He tilted his head against the hand tracing his jaw.

"You made it back," Logan murmured. "That's not nothing."

Alec's face twisted. "Yeah, but you needed the original footage from the drones. You—"

"Can figure out something else." Logan left his hand curled around the side of Alec's neck. "I still have three days before my uncle steps down."

Alec slipped a palm under Logan's shirt. He felt Logan breathe, his abdomen warm and firm against Alec's hand. The heat of Logan's skin rippled down Alec's arm like a flick of a flame.

" _We_ still have three days," Alec said.

Logan dropped a hand over Alec's and nodded.

 

Phil bounced on his feet in the living room. When he spotted Alec coming in, the vigilante ran over. His exoskeleton whirred manically as he crossed the room.

"Well?"

Alec wiggled out of his wet jacket.

"Ran into him downstairs." Alec made a face as he held his coat away with two fingers. Ew. "He's parking and getting dinner from next door."

The flaps on Phil's dorky hat flapped wildly.

"No, no, obviously you intersected and stopped our leader from his rescue mission. Otherwise, you would not be—" Phil yanked down his headgear before the attached lens hit him on the nose. 

"I meant what happened to you?"

Alec blinked blankly at Phil. He found himself under earnest brown eyes.

"We were concerned," Phil confessed as he wrung his hat. "We feared you may have fallen astray by the enemy." He gestured towards the computer area. "He feared worse." 

Phil frowned. "I'm not sure what he thought could possibly be worse." His shoulders slumped. "I offered to find you, but he insisted I remain by the computers. I was to initiate self-destruct—"

" _A what_?" Alec's jacket dropped to the hardwood with a wet _plop_.

"No, no!" Phil's hands wildly gestured in the air. "Not self destruct as in _boom_." His hands flailed out to mimic an explosion. "The _Eyes Only_ network." 

Phil puffed up his chest. It made him look like he was about to let out a giant fart. "He entrusted me with the password. I swore to secrecy no one would know the password was _H38th_ —Oops."

Alec rolled his eyes. A part of him was grinning like an idiot though. He shrugged.

"The lab changed up their security measures." Alec wiggled a finger in his ear. "Had to go underground. Literally."

"Our target?" Phil leaned in. He was still mauling his funny hat.

Alec wished Phil didn't refer to the lab's mainframe as a target. The familiar word sat heavy in his gut. He cleared his throat a few times.

"Had to abort." Alec scowled to himself. There must be another way to get the unedited hoverdrone footage. Jonas Cale had too much time to hide the evidence while he danced around Logan. "It's out there. I know it. The boss is too much a paperwork guy to not have stuff in triplicate. We'll find it."

"Then our mission was not a failure?" Phil brightened up like someone gave him an extra burrito.

Alec grunted. He toed off one boot. It slurped as it fell from his foot. Yuck.

"No, I think tonight was a bust." Alec arched an eyebrow when Phil placed his hands on either side of Alec.

"I am gratified you returned," Phil said seriously. 

"Thanks," Alec quipped. "I'm gratified I returned, too." He eyed Phil warily when the other didn't release him.

"Uh, we're not going to hug, are we?"

Phil took a deep breath. He clapped Alec's arms before taking a step back.

"Of course not," Phil said solemnly. His eyes suddenly twinkled and his mouth spread into a cheeky grin.

"You smell like pee."

"Hey!" Alec barked, laughing at the same time. Phil cackled. His ratty long coat flapped around him as he darted for the door.

Alec sent Phil on his way with a shove from his foot on the joker's ass. Phil hooted as he stumbled forward a few steps.

"See how you smell slinking in the sewers for two hours!" Alec called after him. He couldn't stop grinning even as he rolled his eyes when Phil abruptly snapped to attention to Logan pushing through the front door. Flustered, Logan stammered out a "Thank you" to whatever Phil said. 

Alec's stomach growled at the smell of melted cheese, tomato sauce an—yes! Extra anchovies!

"Slinking in the sewers for two hours?" Logan repeated the moment he spotted Alec dripping in the middle of the living room.

Alec winced at the frown directed to his head to toe. He scratched the back of his head and— _gross_ —that was not a pleasant feeling.

"Maybe I should shower first?" 

 

"…Are…Are you _purring_?"

Alec frowned around the folded triangle of pizza. He tipped his head back and glowered. But it mustn't have been too intimidating upside down because Logan only moved the towel lower and vigorously scrubbed his forehead.

Sputtering, Alec twisted away from where he sat cross-legged on the carpet. He squirmed back from the couch and the comfortable spot between Logan's knees. He set down his food on the coffee table.

"No, I wasn't purring." Alec ran a hand through his hair. It was still damp from the shower. He glared at Logan. "Why did you stop?"

Logan smirked faintly for whatever reason. He gestured towards the spot on the carpet.

Muttering, Alec returned to settle back between Logan's knees, the couch solid against him, Logan's calves bookending him, the pizza warm in his mouth.

Logan's plate was left ignored on the coffee table. It was steaming before, but now it was a gummy mess. Logan made no mention on whether he was _in the mood_ for pizza. Alec caught his hands twitching when he studied Alec's jacket before throwing it in the wash. So Alec didn't press him about the pizza; he didn't refuse when Logan offered to dry his hair when he came out of the shower. 

Both didn't mention Logan took an unusually long time rubbing the thick cotton through Alec's hair. Nor did either of them pointed out Logan was surreptitiously checking Alec for worse scrapes. Alec sat there, chewing his pizza, blinking sleepily at the light touch in his hair, the weight of Logan's legs on either side of him.

"Two hours?" Logan asked quietly.

"Give or take a smelly minute." Alec tore a piece of green dotted pizza and dangled it over his head at Logan.

"You put broccoli in my anchovies," Alec whined. "It's ruining my fishies."

After a beat, Logan plucked the piece out of Alec's hand.

Alec bit back the smirk when quiet chewing reached his ears.

"Were you followed?" Logan sighed as another piece of pizza contaminated with broccoli materialized.

"For a couple of meters." Alec tore off a hunk of pizza crust and dipped it in the complimentary marinara sauce. "A couple of hoverdrones, but they couldn't fit through the manhole openings." 

_The high pitched whine of rotors contorted into the sharp whirs of a bone saw. Alec held his breath, eyes fixed on the grate, waiting for the drones to float on by. He felt the river of sewage swirling around his boots. His jeans grew heavy as they sopped up the disgusting water…_

Logan's towel smoothed over Alec's barcode. The makeup and graft had peeled off in the shower. Logan rubbed gently over the naked bar code.

The metallic buzz eased. Alec no longer tasted metal in his mouth.

"Could hear them banging the grates. They tried to get in, but I knew they didn't fit. But there was no chance to pull one in and dismantle."

Logan said nothing, but Alec heard his unsteady breath as he dropped a dry bath towel over Alec's shoulders.

"I planned for this, babe," Alec murmured. "Those guys were a surprise, but I prepared for in case the hoverdrones were active in the labs."

Alec darkened. 

"Speaking about our admirers: our _friends_ apparently couldn't leave the premises. Heard their radios telling them to stand down before they could give chase."

Logan's toweling paused. "So like before when I fired my gun. They needed to remain undetected."

"Ding, ding, ding! Give the man a prize!" Alec crowed. He brandished another chunk of pizza over his head.

"So how did my uncle find them?" Logan said, his mouth full of pizza. There was something about it that made Alec grin.

"You thought they were from South Africa, right?" Alec bumped his head against the towel now slack against his cheek. "Dude, I'm still wet!"

Logan scoffed but went back to rubbing the towel into Alec's hair. 

"Cale Industries does have contacts in South Africa. They've been trying to sell the hoverdrone business to the government there." Logan carefully dragged the towel behind Alec's left ear.

A little shiver shimmied down on contact and wiggled hot and sharp behind Alec's balls. He squirmed.

Logan paused. "Two hours in the sewers though?"

Alec leaned back so he could crane his head back. He stared up at Logan. He hated the lines that creased the corners of Logan's eyes.

"It was just a precaution." Alec reached up and rubbed at the furrows folding Logan's mouth. "There were a few hoverdrones in the lab too. I think they were running field tests on those."

Logan stilled. Alec could feel Logan's mouth tightening under his fingertips.

"Field tests?" Logan breathed out harshly. "Those could be like the ones with the missing footage."

"Two for two, babe." Alec waved another piece of pizza. Logan grumbled but took it.

"Could be." Alec peeled an anchovy off his new slice and popped it in his mouth. "I still can't find the specs on those modifications mentioned in your uncle's computer." His jaw set. "The paper trail is all spread out. Your uncle's been busy."

Alec made a face when he saw Logan bunched the towel in his fist. "He's had plenty of time to bury the skeletons."

The hitch in Logan's voice hastened Alec to say, "Phil thinks those newspaper articles warning the public about the early releases got something to do with it."

"Phil?" Logan said tightly.

Alec rubbed his bare knee. "Hey, he started looking into this stuff before he found us. He might be able to get more intel." At the heavy silence behind him, Alec tentatively added, "The police might have stuff too, like forensics. They don't keep all of that on the servers for you to hack."

"Alec…"

"Think about it," Alec pressed. "I'm awesome, but there's only one of me."

Logan skimmed a thumb over Alec's ear lobe. "One's more than enough."

Alec wanted to turn around and nip Logan's thumb.

"I know it's a lot," Alec said low. "Going from solo to two and now possibly four? But time's running out. Three days. Whatever is going down, it's going down soon."

Logan nodded jerkily. From Alec's angle, he caught the way Logan's throat muscles move.

Alec leaned back against Logan's legs.

"I know you can watch out for all of us." Alec stared straight ahead. He stared at Logan's reflection on the window. "You watched out for me." At Logan's scoff, Alec twisted around. He rested his chin on the couch between Logan's knees.

"So you're saying you don't?" Alec raised an eyebrow at Logan.

Logan slipped his fingers through Alec's hair. Alec's eyes slid down at the touch.

"There's always Canada, you know," Alec murmured. The fingers massaging his scalp faltered but continued soon after.

"You and me in a life of crime and porn?" Logan sounded weary but amused.

"Hell, yeah. Ditch it all. Screw everybody and blaze for the border." Alec tipped his eyes up. "But I don't think _Eyes Only_ can do that, can he?"

Logan smiled tightly. "He wants to. He does."

Alec held Logan's gaze. After a beat, Logan broke off when he dropped his eyes.

"If they're testing out hoverdrones; they could be trying them out to film whatever they do to kill." 

Alec pressed his mouth together. "You know, if I track one of those giant hockey pucks down, I can track it to the next target, follow it after it's done and see where home base is." He couldn't look at Logan when he heard the sharp intake of breath. "See who's holding the leash, track it back to where the missing footage." 

"Alec, we can't do that."

"It'll be the evidence you need." Alec rested his head against Logan's knee. He could feel Logan's eyes on top of his head.

"Least amount of people at risk," Alec went on. His stomach churned. "And we'll get the evidence we need to shut your uncle down."

"Except one person would be dead, possibly more."

Alec flexed his jaw. Logan was saying everything Alec knew he would say. He went for the final blow.

"They're just ex-cons." Alec forced himself to look up. 

Logan's eyes were almost black with emotion. Alec inwardly flinched but refused to look away.

Logan's shoulders abruptly slumped.

"I'll call them in tomorrow," Alec guessed. "Nothing more than intel. Okay?"

Logan nodded woodenly.

Alec snagged Logan's hands. They were chilled when he kissed the fingers.

"You got our backs. I know you do."

Logan would only nod again. His head dropped to his chin. He took a shuddering breath before raising his gaze.

"If only I just…" Logan's eyes were wider, pale with an emotion Alec understood too well.

"Hey." Alec sat up and turned to face Logan. He gripped Logan's hands and drew them to lie knotted between them.

"I was busy trying to save my family's name rather than save the lives of—"

"No," Alec said firmly. "You were trying to give that uncle of yours a second chance. Second chances. Remember, babe?" He squeezed Logan's cold hands. He kissed their clasped hands. He blew into the cold fingers curled stiffly in Alec's grasp. 

"If I didn't have my head in my ass—"

Alec scoffed. "Dude, I'm flexible and even I can't pull that move off." He rubbed his cheek on their combined hands. "You weren't trying to look the other way. You were pulling an _Eyes Only_ on your uncle. He just didn't appreciate it."

"Pulling an _Eyes Only_?" Logan repeated.

"You know: make them see the error of their ways, inspire them to save kittens from trees, help grannies cross the road…" Alec smiled against their hands when Logan scoffed, the lines smoothing out from his eyes.

"You can’t save them all," Alec murmured. He grimaced when Logan flinched as if slapped. "No. Hey." Alec pulled Logan forward. He rose to his knees as he rested his forehead to Logan's. 

"You know what I mean." Alec lightly pressed his mouth to the grim downward tilt to Logan's. "Your uncle, Cale Industries. You try to save everyone on this planet. Even if the scumbags don't deserve it. You still think they're worth saving." He stroked Logan's throat. He found the words struggling to shape.

"It's…It's what I lo—like about you the most: you're a sucker for lost causes like me," Alec croaked. He bent his head, diving in before he could hear Logan's reply.

Logan's mouth parted. He deepened the kiss, his hands clutching Alec's painfully tight. He slouched into Alec, his lips tracing the side of Alec's face, his jaw, his chin. It felt like Logan was trying to memorize Alec by taste; it made Alec feel like a person someone wanted to remember. Here, as Logan kissed his eyelids, his nose, Alec wasn't a deliberate ghost, he wasn't X-494. Here, he was _Alec_. He was Logan's Alec as Logan was his.

Alec groaned as he rose to his feet and sat next to Logan. He gripped Logan's shoulders and savored the feel of him; he felt Logan's heat sinking into his skin like a rush of clean, unmodified blood. 

Logan shuddered as Alec unraveled their hands and slipped his hand under worn cotton to splay on Logan's lower back. He rocked his growing erection on Logan's thigh. When he realized what he was doing, Alec shifted.

"No," Logan croaked. "It's okay. I want to see."

Alec stared hard into Logan's eyes. He saw eyes growing darker as they drifted to Alec's erection straining against his boxers. He saw Logan's mouth parted when Alec tentatively brushed up against Logan's clothed thigh. Alec couldn't help it; he groaned.

"Let me see you, Alec." Callused fingers settled on Alec's sides. 

Alec rolled his hips forward. His cock jumped as it glided over the rough fabric of Logan's jeans. Firm, coarse, immoveable, Logan's leg somehow felt boiling hot against Alec's dick. He ground his erection into Logan's thigh. The friction, the heat of Logan's gaze on him, sent bolts down Alec's spine and pooled into a growing fire behind Alec's balls.

Logan didn't say anything, which was good because Alec suspected hearing Logan's throaty gravel right now would sending him coming. And he didn't want to come yet. Not when it might mean the feel of Logan's firm body might pull away from his cock too soon.

Alec bit back a whimper as he rocked. His legs tightened around Logan's thigh. His boxers bunched between his legs as he humped Logan's leg with growing desperation.

"So beautiful like this. I wish I could…so beautiful, Alec…"

There was a soft, awed sounding murmur; Alec's name spilled out from a lush, pink mouth. There was something riveting watching syllables tumble out of that lower lip swollen from kisses and teeth. Alec's name came out of that mouth like something new. 

Logan's hands framed Alec's hips. His eyes were smoky, glued to Alec's face rather than the proceedings below. When Alec carded his fingers through Logan's hair, Logan moaned.

The sound spurred Alec on. He feverishly ground his erection into Logan's thigh. He groaned and panted as he went. He tugged Logan's hair as he rode the muscular leg. He felt Logan sagging back into the couch. Alec eagerly followed, his hips jerking forward, his hands pulling at Logan's hair, greedy for more than a handhold. He felt Logan breathe underneath him, lungs expanding, stomach muscles quivering.

The friction was both enough and not. Alec growled as he tugged Logan to him. His tongue dove into the wet cavern of Logan's mouth. Their bodies jerked under Alec's hips.

Logan kept his hands on Alec's hips, thumbs stroking the thin skin stretched over Alec's pelvis. Alec could see nipples hardened to nubs, straining under Logan's shirt. He pulled one hand down from Logan's hair. He reached in, caught shirt and nipple between two knuckles. With a twist of a wrist, Alec tortured the teat in his grip, teasing and pulling until Logan nearly sobbed out his release.

It was the sound of Logan's wrecked voice, the tremulous quality when he breathed out "Alec" that sent ripples down to his cock. Alec shuddered, his head rolling back and came. 

Logan slid down to the couch under the weight of Alec and their orgasms. He held onto Alec's hips, his own body bouncing under the motions of Alec riding hard against his leg again.

"Alec…"

A snarl strangled out of Alec's mouth. He clawed the top button of Logan's jeans. The other understood and shakily tried to help Alec pull his jeans off his legs. Denim tugged down legs and tossed aside. A shirt was yanked over Logan's head and followed.

Alec palmed Logan's soft cock. He wished he could make Logan feel it without hurting him, without roughly pulling to coax blood to flow and fill. He hoped he could make Logan feel without the bruises often left behind.

Logan patted Alec on his flank. He looked rueful as if he could read Alec's thoughts. His large hand petted Alec's covered cock. He slid the tip of his thumb over Alec's boxers, up the underside of Alec's aching dick. 

Alec's hard-on returned in full force. He hunched over by the waist to alleviate the oppressive heat painfully pulling between his legs.

Lightning arched wherever Logan touched. Alec bit his lower lip. He rolled his pelvis towards Logan's hand. His dick jumped on contact. 

Logan gripped Alec through his boxers briefly. Then, he let go.

With a groan, Alec leaned forward chasing the touch, Cool air met his cock. Logan pulled down Alec's shorts. Alec growled and kicked them away. His erection sprang free: flushed, leaking and sliding up Logan's now bare thigh.

Pre-come smeared across Logan's leg. Alec rutted into that satiny skin. He felt faint short hairs sprinkled down Logan's leg. They prickled, light fingers, as Alec swayed, brushing along his over-sensitized length. He shuddered.

"God, you feel so good…"

Logan said nothing. He wrapped his hands around Alec's arms. He held on as Alec ground into Logan, pinning him the couch. Logan only stared at Alec, his eyes drifting down to watch Alec's cock grinding across his leg.

Alec thrust and thrust, panting as he bucked into Logan. He slapped his hands on Logan's shoulders. He hunched over, dipping down long enough to share a slow kiss before he straightened up. He began to pick up the pace. He groaned as the friction grew. The couch creaked as Alec bodily slammed into Logan, his hips snapping forward. He came for a second time. This time, Alec's come painted Logan's stomach. 

White stains smeared messily between their bodies, Alec increased his pace, his lower back straining as he savored the sight of come on Logan.

Alec shuddered through his third one. He collapsed on top of Logan. They lay on the couch, breathing heavily.

Logan stroked Alec's shoulder, his hand tracing the sharp wing of his shoulder blade.

"I need another shower," Alec mumbled. 

Logan sleepily snorted. Then, the corner of his mouth upturned, he nodded.

"Ha ha." 

 

No one touched the burritos.

Alec wished it was a euphemism. He wished it meant an extra burrito for lunch, yay. But nope. The rolled treats sat on the car hood uneaten, Matt Sung on one side, Phil on the other.

"So uh…" Alec shoved his hands into his jeans. "I guess introductions all around. Uh, this is Ph—"

"I'm Street Sweeper."

" _Fine_ ," Alec sighed. He gestured towards Sung.

"This is Matt Sun—"

" _Lieutenant_ Matt Sung."

"Oh hey, you got promoted? High five!" Alec rolled his eyes when his raised hand was ignored. He plastered a grin.

"Look, I got us lunch. Great, right?"

Sung squinted at the foil wrapped offerings.

"Thought you were going to get me a gyro," Sung muttered.

Phil stood taller. "What's wrong with burritos?"

"Seriously, guys?" Alec huffed. "I thought we better meet up, make up a secret handshake, coordinate…" His eyes narrowed when the two idiots continued making mean eyes on each other.

"So how did you meet Dean?" Sung asked slowly, ignoring Alec.

"His name's not Dean," Phil replied smugly. "That's just his code name."

Sung shrugged. He smirked. "I know. It's Alec."

Phil's head whipped towards Alec. " _He knows_? But he works for Big Brother!"

Sung scowled. "And you?"

"Surveillance," Phil shot back before Alec could say "Professional stalker."

"Surveillance," Sung repeated. He eyed the lens skewed on top of Phil's head. "With that?"

"It takes excellent pictures. I was recruited last month to aid in the campaign of justice."

Sung shot Alec a look. "I've been working with him for three months." 

"Guys," Alec groaned. "Are you kidding me? You two are not pretty enough to make this flattering."

"How do we know we can trust this agent of corruption—"

" _What did you call me_?"

Alec tugged his hair with both fists. He wondered how bad it would be to smash their heads together.

"Dude and…and Phil, knock it off." Alec growled. "I didn't call you guys here for a beat down or see who the better do-gooder is." He picked up a wrapped burrito and waved it between them. "I wanted to talk to you guys about contingencies."

Two pairs of eyes broke from their staring match and dragged over to Alec.

Alec tossed over pagers he may or may not have taken from _Jam Pony_. Poor Normal was hoarse by the time he finished yelling when he realized he was a few short in inventory.

"It's a private line Logan set up," Alec explained as the two turned it around in their hands. "Only we three, Logan or _Eyes Only_ will be calling in." He darkened.

"If something comes up or a bad is going down, use that," Alec muttered. 

"You need an extra hand?" Sung examined the pager.

" _We_ need the help." At Sung's eyebrow, Alec clarified, "No more lone gun man for Logan."

"About time," Sung murmured. 

Phil studied Sung like he was a bad burrito. 

Alec sighed loudly. 

"One of the good guys, Phi—"

" _Street Sweeper_!"

" _Phil_." Alec ignored the guy's squawk. He stared at Phil. Widened brown eyes gaped back.

"The police never came when we called," Phil said in a small voice. "We couldn't afford to pay the protection fees."

Alec felt a stirring in his gut. His spine lost its ramrod posture. 

Sung's glower faded. He exchanged a look with Alec, who nodded to Phil.

"Not all police are like that," Alec murmured. "Logan thinks he's all right." He felt Sung glance his way, so he added, with a shrug, "He has weird taste in ties, but he's on the by and by." When Phil still looked unsure, Alec threw in the final gauntlet. 

"Also, Original Cindy says he's cute. For a male." Alec bared his teeth at Sung's surprised, but pleased smirk. "I still think I'm cuter."

To Alec's amusement and "What the hell", Phil begrudgingly nodded. 

Alec eyed the two.

"So do I have to put you two in separate corners?"

Sung and Phil studied each other. Slowly, they both extended out a hand and shook on it.

 

 

"It was like waiting for one of them to lift up a leg and pee around me," Alec complained.

Logan chuckled as he pulled his shirt over his head. 

"You're exaggerating."

"No, man. I mean there was actual nostril flaring going on. All that cave man shit going on would have been a total turn on if those two did anything for me." 

"Nostril flaring?" Logan repeated as he eased down on one elbow.

Alec sank down into the bed. He guided Logan down and helped him lie on his side. Alec plastered himself on Logan's back. He grinned suddenly and pressed his face to Logan's nape. Loudly, Alec blew through his nose onto Logan's neck.

Logan sputtered, laughing. He pulled back an elbow and jabbed Alec.

"Ow. Bitch. You break it; you can't play with it."

Logan snorted. "You're exaggerating again. I was nowhere near—"

Alec leered as he stretched up, rolled his hips and slid his erection up Logan's spine. 

Logan shivered.

"You were saying?" Alec drawled.

Logan sagged back into Alec, back arching, body shifting.

Alec's cock skimmed the cleft of Logan's ass before slipping in-between.

Alec yelped. "Shit! Sorry!" He rocked back, his cock a safe distance away from the satin skin, smooth round firm…

"Alec?"

The heat that clouded Alec's vision fizzled. He blinked back dazed at Logan looking over his shoulder at him.

"Nothing." Alec pressed the heel of his hand on the base of his cock. He kept one hand on Logan's shoulder, the other itching to run a palm down his swollen length.

Logan stirred.

"Want me to help you with that?" Logan said softly. He fidgeted, his buttocks weakly flexing as they shifted closer again.

"Hang on, I'll help turn you around." Alec eased Logan to face the other way. He paused at the intense look. "What?"

Logan opened his mouth. He shook his head. He smiled faintly.

"What is it?" 

"Nothing. I…nothing. Never mind."

Alec leaned in until their noses lightly bumped together.

"Are you all right?" Alec smoothed a palm down Logan's sides. 

A shadow drifted over Logan. He shook his head again.

Alec exhaled. "You thinking about our new guys?"

Logan's mouth tightened. His jaw worked. Slowly, he nodded.

"Was it really necessary?"

"To keep them all looped in? I think so." Alec ran a hand through Logan's hair. "Strategically, having assets in all venues assure us the widest possible information net." His lips grazed over Logan's jaw.

"Sung's going to keep an eye and ear out for bulletins, divert the authorities when we need it. Old Phil is going to do visual recon for you. And I'm going to be your very own pain in the ass." Alec swallowed hard. "No more Bronck scenarios. No more of your _contingency_ plans."

Logan's mouth twisted. "Alec—"

"I mean it," Alec cut in. "No more, babe." He cupped Logan's jaw. 

"You got a team now, whether you like it or not."

Logan studied Alec. He sighed, his body slumping deeper into the mattress. His mouth twisted unhappily, but at least he nodded.

"Now," Alec whispered. He rolled his hips forward. "Where were we?"

Logan's eyebrow rose. His lips curved as Alec bumped his erection towards Logan's hands.

Alec bit off a groan when Logan's hand finally wrapped around him. He rocked forward in tiny, hungry thrusts. He curled around Logan's loose fist. After he came, he pulled Logan closer, their teeth clacking together when they kissed.

"No more doing this alone. No more solo," Alec moaned as he lined up his cock with Logan's. He felt Logan shudder as he pumped their lengths together. "We'll go where you point. You can't ignore us now. We're not going anywhere."

Logan burrowed into Alec after he came. His breath was ragged; he didn't speak.

Alec tucked a knee between Logan's, his arms wrapped around the other's shoulders. Alec peppered Logan's face with light kisses.

Logan murmured sleepy sounds, broken words warm on Alec's skin. 

There was a quiet coiled inside Alec's gut when he watched Logan drifting to sleep. Logan tucked an elbow under his cheek. His breath whistled quietly between his teeth. Alec wanted to pull Logan into his lap. Alec wanted to bury himself into Logan and feel him breathe from the inside. He looked at Logan, really looked at him and thought of how much he wanted to believe this was it for Alec. 

Alec wiggled closer. He pressed his nose into the soft underside of Logan's chin.

Logan mumbled, his head lolling to allow Alec in closer.

Watching Logan's throat as he breathe, Alec stroked the bristly stubble on Logan's jaw. Under the safety of Logan's congested snuffling and the shadows of the bedroom, the words sitting at the base of his throat finally bubbled free.

" _I'm_ not going anywhere."

 

 

_"Clear."_

"All clear here," Alec reported to the eyes on the ground. He ducked back around the lopsided chimney stack of the building he perched on. He eyed a gray, narrow building five hundred meters away. 

"All clear on your end?"

Alec saw a far away Phil on a rooftop give Alec's direction a thumbs up.

"Keep your head down," Alec muttered, knowing full well the military grade ear pieces would pick up on his irritation. "Stop giving the enemy decent head shots."

Phil abruptly ducked. In the distance, a few pissed off pigeons flapped away.

Alec rolled his eyes. He changed channels and whistled softly: one long note then two shorts.

Down on the ground, in the middle of what used to be a fancy courtyard for a hotel, a semi-circle clearing stood out. The five-star hotel burned to the ground during the riots right after the Pulse hit. Now it was just a maze of charred concrete and twisted girders. The rest was picked clean by desperate scavengers. All remained were perfect clusters of debris. Great for hiding: for the good guys and bad.

At three o'clock, Sung emerged. His shoulders were relaxed, but Alec saw the alert dark eyes checking the area.

"That's good." Alec murmured. "You checked your blind spot first."

Sung didn't look Alec's way. He only gave a barely discernible nod.

"And not give away my location. You're doing great, man. I'll be sure to ask for extra sauce on your gyro next week."

Sung responded with a flip of a finger before tucking it into his suit pocket.

"Not cool, man. Not cool." Alec snickered. He eyed the other direction.

Logan's silhouette slowly separated from the half wall that once served as the front entrance. Alec could tell by the stiff posture Logan was still unhappy about all of this.

"Looking good, babe," Alec murmured, low. Through his scope, he caught Logan rubbing the ear that held the earwig. "A little too loud?" 

_"No, it's fine…It's like you're right next to me."_

"Ooh, does it sound like I'm breathing in your ear?"

Logan scoffed but didn't reply.

Alec smirked. "Sung's a couple of feet ahead. Meet him behind that pillar. I want to see if I can still pick you up all right when you're not in line of sight. I'm going to try these things out. Hang on."

After pointing to Phil to stay down, (the guy kept looking out of his hideout at the proceedings below) Alec leaped across the gap into the next building. He asked a few questions. He nodded at the clear answers. He barely glanced down as he made the jump back. He waved frantically at Phil to stay down. The guy gaped open-mouthed at Alec for some reason.

Alec checked behind him. He blinked at the twelve feet space that hung between the two buildings. Oh. He shrugged at Phil and gestured to the ground again. Geez.

Phil saluted, his headgear lens dipping down in a kowtow. In another blink, Phil dropped out of view.

Alec covered his face with his palm. He sighed. He shook himself out of the urge to dart over to Phil to smack him upside on the head.

"Going inside," Alec reported. "Three flights down. Let's see if they work inside."

Alec tried again, nodding at the responses. He checked out the window into the courtyard. He grinned.

"Mm, I like that shirt on you, babe," Alec cooed. He drank in the wash worn green Henley. "And I always did like those jeans."

Logan huffed. The sound shimmied and burrowed hot under Alec's skin. 

"Ooh, do that again."

 _"When you said you wanted to do a test run,"_ Logan murmured. _"I thought you meant testing out the ear pieces' range, not their sound quality."_

"I am," Alec quipped as he jogged back up to the roof. "Keep talking."

" _About what?_ " Logan heeded Alec's caution about too much info in the open lines.

"I don't know. Weather, what's for lunch, are you wearing any under—"

" _We're having stew._ "

Alec snorted as he took the rickety stairs three steps at a time. "You're no fun," he complained. "Keep talking."

_"I still think this is a bad idea."_

Alec groaned. "Seriously? Wasn't I convincing enough this morning?"

_"Were we talking? I don't remember a lot of talking."_

Alec leered as he reached the top.

Logan chuckled. _"I see that."_

"No, you can't." 

_"All right. I know what face you're making."_

A slight crackle snapped in Alec's ear. He frowned.

"Did you guys hear that?"

A trio of affirmatives deepened Alec's frown. Damn it.

"Hold it right there," Alec ordered. He grimaced. Lydecker's stern voice echoed in his ear. "Um, please."

Logan stopped a few feet away from Sung.

 _"Abort?"_ Logan waited for Alec's signal.

Alec peered over the roof edge. He looked to the skies. He checked his receiver again. But when the frequency line on the display rolled on in a steady line, Alec relaxed. He whistled again: one long, two short.

 _"Okay,"_ Logan murmured. His wheelchair edged forward.

"Keep talking," Alec ordered. He ignored how he sounded to his own ears. He ignored the echo of a stopwatch. "Everyone else's lines are good. Yours keep blipping."

_"Interference from the chair?"_

"Not from a titanium frame." Alec bit his lower lip. "Maybe you got a faulty one. Damn it, I'm going to kill that metal bird brain. I knew going to a Steelhead for stuff like this was iffy."

_"Better than your idea to break into a military base and stealing some."_

Alec grimaced at Logan's clipped tone. He peered through the scope and yup; Logan sat rigid in his chair next to Sung. The detective shifted from foot to foot, eyes everywhere but Logan.

Logan sighed into Alec's piece.

_"A part probably needs cleaning. I'll take a look at it later."_

Alec brightened. "I love it when you get all hands on. Can I help?"

The tension was audibly gone from Logan's tone when he replied.

_"Not if I want to get any work done."_

"Aw, you never let me have any fun."

_"Yes, last night was a chore."_

"It was! Your fat ass almost pushed me off that couch!"

_"You've never had a problem with my butt before."_

Alec made sure Logan could hear his leer. "Want me to show you just how much I _don't_ have a problem with your ass?"

Logan's line crackled again. _"Sure."_

Alec blinked. He pulled out the earwig and frowned at it. 

"Sorry." Alec tucked the piece back in. "You want to repeat that? The stupid bit went on the fritz." His brow knitted at the silence. "Uh, hello?"

Logan sighed. _"Nothing. I…it was nothing."_

"You sure? You feeling okay?"

_"A little frustrated, but all right."_

"Huh?" Alec glanced down at the street below for answers. Logan shook his head and Sung looked like he needed the bathroom. The detective kept fidgeting.

"All right, boys and Phil, what's going on?"

 _"Never mind,"_ Logan fumbled. _"Are we done with the tests? I should get back and get my tools."_

Alec smirked. "Tools or _tools_?"

Logan groaned.

Sung's long-suffering voice popped in.

_"You do know we can hear you two?"_

"Test over. Go to radio silence," Alec hurriedly said. He cleaned the scene, watched Logan and Sung part ways and checked no one was following Phil as the idiot bounced away in his exoskeleton. 

After confirming no one was trailing after Logan or Sung's cars as well, Alec blazed out of there. Absently, he wondered about the odd flustered tone in Logan's voice. But he dropped the thought as he straddled his bike and hurried after Logan to keep him in sight.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sex, talks about sex, Alec's not so spectacular upbringing and this may border dangerously like an after school special. If they made one, um, for slash. LOL

If this keeps up, Alec is going to pop.

Perched on the top of the sofa, Alec glowered—or leered because his insides were taking turns—at the scene in the computer area.

Muttering to himself since he left the shower, Logan was hunched over his keyboard, his head tipped sideways to sandwich the phone between his ear and shoulder. He seemed to have forgotten he was still damp. The phone call came as soon as Logan rolled out, his head hooded in a fluffy towel. 

Logan also forgot his earpiece; Alec had plucked it out and tossed it…somewhere. They were too busy marking each other's throats to note where it had landed. Unfortunately, _Eyes Only_ didn't take breaks due to equipment issues.

"No, I understand…"

Not really. Logan didn't get it; he kept shooting baffled looks to Alec. It was hard for Alec not to react whenever Logan fidgets to straighten his clothes. Logan's freshly showered body made everything…clingy.

Alec flipped back to leering now. The faded gray top was plastered to Logan's skin. The edges of Logan's hairline curled up along the nape. The back of Logan's neck was a smooth, unblemished and pale strip of skin that begged to be licked. The matching sweatpants Logan had hastily rolled over his legs twisted around his muscular quads, bunched up under his knees. The shortened hem revealed bony ankles that never fail to make Alec squirm each time he saw them.

And yes. No underwear.

Alec really liked those gray sweats.

"No, you didn't call at a bad time…"

Alec switched back to glaring now because _hell_ yeah, the informant's call came at a bad time. Really bad time. Huge bad time. Almost as huge as the throbbing weight between his legs. Alec was about to lick every droplet that lazily trailed down Logan's chest when the cell phone had chirped for Logan's attention.

"…meet tonight? Yes, I think that's a good idea."

Alec cleared his throat. Logan ignored him.

"…Six?" 

Alec coughed loudly like an asthmatic.

Logan glanced over.

Alec raised an eyebrow as he slowly plucked at his jeans' zipper. He pulled it down, letting the worn denim hang precariously on his hips. He gave a little thrust into the air and his jeans slipped down another inch. He smiled at Logan as he reached down a hand and cupped himself.

Underwear was over-rated.

Logan swallowed hard. It did interesting things to his throat. 

"Uh…" Logan fumbled at whatever his informant told him. "No, nothing. I uh, what time did we agreed? Seven? Oh. S-six?" His eyes drifted to Alec's sly smile. "M-maybe seven would be better?"

Alec sucked on two fingers, pulling them out with a wet _pop_. His mouth curved to a smirk as he trailed those damp digits down to his cock. 

Humming, Alec pumped slowly. His dick twitched and filled under Logan's unblinking gaze. He moaned as he lazily rolled his hips towards his loose fist.

Logan's throat worked. His lips parted then closed.

Alec swiped his thumb over the pearl of pre-come beading at the slit. His eyes fixed on Logan, Alec slipped the glistening tip of his thumb into his mouth.

"Uh….could, um, you make it eight?"

Alec's smile widened.

"Actually, make that nine."

Alec pounced as soon as Logan hastily tossed the phone to the desk. 

 

Logan's moan bounced inside the car.

Alec smiled against the heaving chest under his cheek. Logan's fingers curled tight into Alec's hair as Alec ducked back under the loose beige polo. He licked and nipped the chest down to a quivering stomach. His tongue swirled and dipped into Logan's belly button again.

"Alec…I…" 

There was something arousing about hearing Logan, aka _Eyes Only_ , reduced to this broken, stammering mess. Logan had relented to Alec's constant molestations after the informant had left. They stopped at a service road five miles from the meeting place. The file was safely tucked away in a secret slot carved into the passenger door. Logan's gun was stowed back into the glove compartment. Alec's scope was tucked back into the back seat. The wheelchair was folded up in the back.

And Logan's jeans were yanked down to the car floor.

Alec had shoved the driver's seat as far back as it could go. He wiggled his jeans down to his knees. He didn't even need to jerk off: the sight of Logan spread out, moaning and unraveling was enough. He knelt in the foot well. He rolled the jeans completely off Logan's legs, freeing those lovely pale ankles to bookend Alec. 

"That's it," Alec coaxed as he slipped his hands under Logan's buttocks to ease him down a fraction. Logan obliged with glazed eyes and a wiggle of hips.

"Maybe we should—"

Alec sealed his mouth over Logan's. He hummed in approval when Logan took the hint and shut up.

"Good," Alec purred. "You're learning." He stopped when he heard himself. A colder voice superimposed over his. 

_"You're learning, X-494. Good."_

Alec roughly shook his head.

"Alec?"

"Nothing." Alec surged up to Logan's mouth, biting and tasting that lush lower lip, suckling until the furrow between Logan's eyes faded. Logan was left whimpering when they parted.

There was a tremor thrumming in Logan's body as he tracked Alec lowering his mouth to his semi-erect cock. Logan's breath caught. His fingers tightened in Alec's hair, loosening when Alec whined.

"Beautiful," Alec murmured. His front teeth ran sharply across the skin at the base of Logan's cock. Logan grunted. Alec slipped a spit slicked hand behind Logan's balls, pinching, caressing until he found his goal. 

It felt like Logan's body recognized Alec at first touch. Logan's tight entrance yielded to Alec's finger with little resistance. It took Alec's second finger with almost greedy ease. Logan feebly rolled his hips forward as best he could, Alec's fingers slipped deeper in and the velvety heat seeped into Alec's bones. A rush of heat roared down Alec's limbs and he was fully erect and aching despite the cramped huddle between Logan's knees.

"Gorgeous." Alec gazed down Logan's body. He greedily skimmed hands down the trim torso. He savored how Logan's breathing hitched, muscles playing under his palms.

Doubt still lined the corners of Logan's eyes. Alec wished they would go away; Alec wished Logan stopped bracing to feel absolutely nothing. 

"You're doing good," Alec murmured. He squashed down the shudder he wanted to make at the eerie echo. It wasn't the same, damn it. X-494 wasn't being prepped here. X-494 could go fuck itself and leave them alone.

_"Remember the debriefing, X-494. Report to the training room."_

"Alec…" Logan moaned.

Alec mentally shook his head. The walls retreated and he was in the car again, Logan stretched out between his legs, the air hot and steamy instead of cool and sterile.

"Damn it, Alec," Logan half whimpered, half groaned as Alec straddled him and did nothing else. He reached for Alec's cock.

"No, no." Alec tapped Logan's hands away. "I told you. If your guy showed up late, you're mine. I'm driving. You sit back and relax."

"You call this driving?" Logan rasped. He arched his lower back, his exposed groin beckoning. "I think your engine stalled."

Alec growled. He nipped Logan's lower lip. 

"Stalled, huh?" Alec made sure Logan's eyes followed as Alec's mouth lowered. Alec gently kissed the furred balls he cradled in his other hand before engulfing Logan's cock.

Logan garbled a cry that sounded like Alec's name. It banished the almost singsong chant _X-494, X-494_ from Alec's head. He flattened his tongue, pushed Logan's cock to the roof of his mouth and let Logan's gasps drown out the rest of the noise. Logan's voice rose higher as he watched Alec deep throat him. But it was choked off when Alec's fingers breached him. 

It was a blur of sensations Alec enjoyed giving Logan: the sharp strikes into that writhing body, the hard wet suction around the length, the rough pulls on the cock to keep it full, to remind Logan what he felt was real.

Logan's fingers fumbled through Alec's hair. They pulled then tugged as Alec noisily slurped around Logan's dick. The fingers gentled after a few seconds; caressing Alec as he swallowed the weak stream of come.

Those same fingers swept down Alec's back as Alec climbed up Logan's body. They traced the outline of Alec's hip, lingering on the thin fold of skin that joined it to his torso. 

"Come on," Alec breathed. He thrust his hips forward, unabashed, aching because Logan always touched him like it was the first time.

Heat fizzled in Alec's ears as relief rushed when Logan finally curled his hand around Alec's flushed dick. Alec rocked into the fist, impatient for more. But Logan took his time like he always did. It didn't matter if it was in the soft darkness of Logan's bedroom or the raw black of a forgotten path lit only by the broken lights of a broken world.

Logan whispered Alec's name. Still awed, still hushed as if he feared he would dispel what swirled around them.

Alec clamped his hands down on Logan's shoulders. He moored himself to Logan's body; he wasn't going anywhere. He would tell, he would _show_ , he would bury it deep underneath Logan's skin until the idea exorcised Logan's doubt away.

"Tighter," Alec groaned. His own hands left bruising dots on Logan's shoulders. 

Logan's hand continued its leisurely pull. 

Alec dropped his chin on top of Logan's head. The car roof pressed down on him. Alec's lower back twinged from the cramped position over Logan. His knees clamped hard against Logan's sides. His hands dug deeper into strong muscles.

"Make me feel it," Alec hissed into Logan's hair. "Make me feel like you want me here."

Logan's hand twitched.

Alec mouthed errant strands of Logan's hair, tugging them hard with his teeth. He crushed his mouth to Logan's ear.

"Make me feel how much you want me here as much as I want you."

Logan's hand faltered. Then, it snapped like a vise around Alec's erection.

The pace sped up in a grip Alec gladly slammed his hips into. He fucked that glorious hand, his lips peppering kisses all over Logan's face. He collapsed on top of Logan. Chests brushed. Skin ignited. Memory retreated. Bodies writhed against each other. Heat rolled down Alec's spine, released all over Logan's fist, but gathered quickly again when he dazedly felt Logan breathed "Alec" against his skin. Alec arched his back, his hips snapping forward again and he thrust his renewed erection into Logan's fist. He feverishly pounded into the grip, his ears ringing with Logan's gasps. 

Logan's fist was trapped between their bodies. Logan's other hand went from bracing on Alec's hip to frantically skimming down the line of Alec's back, fingers ironing down his damp white t-shirt.

Words, more whispered promises, filled the car. They tumbled into a hum, into a white noise that curled familiar and pleasant to Alec's ears. He wanted to echo those promises, but their pronunciations still tasted alien on his tongue, like a new language to master. He tried to show Logan instead: fingers plunging back deep into Logan's body, teeth nipping and biting and marking, mouth tasting the other's skin. Yet, it felt inadequate; why did it feel like what he did and what Logan said were woefully unequal? 

Logan mouthed Alec's shirt, hungrily latching onto Alec's nipple. Logan pressed damp kisses on cotton; lips captured shirt and teat, teeth teasing with a sharp sweetness that clouded Alec's vision.

And then, Logan worked on the other.

Growling, Alec yanked up Logan's polo all the way, bunching it under the other's arms. A button flew into the backseat. Logan groaned first in protest, then with need. 

Alec thrust his cock still in Logan's grip, across Logan's bared chest. He kept an unrelenting pace, sweat slipping between their bodies. Alec's shirt was soaked by now. He watched a droplet of sweat splashed down to Logan's throat, trickling down a taut dark nub before clinging to the mat of chest hair.

"Good, so good…" Alec muttered over and over. Logan's hand cinched tighter, claiming ownership like he knew Alec wouldn’t refute him.

Alec rutted into the lightly furred chest, dragging Logan's fist with him. He unfurled his hands, looped his arms around, his fingers drifting back down, searching, kneading…

Logan threw his head back. He groaned as Alec's fingers breached him with a sharp thrust, the other hand pinching and claiming Logan's cock.

Stroke against stroke, Alec and Logan pumped each other's cocks with a force that could almost count as retaliatory. 

When Logan jerked his hand up, Alec volleyed with a thumb pressed to the base of Logan's cock and a crook of his fingers inside Logan. 

When Alec tugged Logan's cock with a twist, Logan responded with both fists wrapped around Alec's. Pulling and tugging in a rapid succession that left Alec shuddering when the other stopped.

Elbows bumped into each other. Teeth nipped and clacked. The car was hot around them; it reeked of sex. It was thick on Alec's tongue. His insides knotted for more. He sped up; fingers, fist, mouth. Logan nearly wailed, his body over-sensitized, heart hammering beneath Alec's body. 

"Come on," Alec chanted close to Logan's ear. The other breathlessly sobbed as Alec twisted his fingers inside Logan and delivered a trio of thrusts that reduced even those sounds to a broken keen.

"One more." Alec's tongue licked a hot stripe down Logan's sternum. "One more. You can give me one more. You're not done yet."

Logan's head lolled back. He weakly shook his head but didn't push Alec away. He whimpered as he feebly shifted his weight in his seat, desperately trying, trying so hard to give Alec more, his body weakly clenching around Alec's fingers. Alec's vision blurred watching the other try.

Alec tenderly kissed Logan on the forehead, his hands still pumping, pistoning and taking.

"You're so good. God, you're so good…"

" _Alec_."

"One more. Yeah, you can, come on, almost there, almost…" 

"Oh God, I-I don't think I c-can."

Alec's fingers buried deeper into Logan, striking, scissoring, stretching and filling…

"God," Logan whimpered. His body shivered around Alec's fingers, his heat licking at Alec's fingertips. 

Alec burrowed closer, crowded Logan into the seat, his fingers breaching Logan again and again. 

"Alec. I wish I could. But I…I…"

"One more," Alec cooed as he picked up the pace. "You're so hot around me, babe. You feel so good. I can stay inside you all day. You can do it. One more. I can feel it in you. Come on."

Logan feebly shook his head. His body, however, curled closer into Alec. Logan trembled.

"I don't think I— _Alec_!"

Logan _screamed_ Alec's name, his head striking the back of his seat with an audible _thump_. The raw sound sank icy sharp into Alec's bones. Alec came for the third time with a shout of his own that left him hoarse. He finished both of them off with a shaky fist, spilling thick come over both their groins, mixing his with a weaker stream, mixed until there was no way to tell whom it belonged to. Because it didn't belong to one. Not just one. Not in the car. Not on their bodies. Not lying together in bed at night.

As Logan shuddered through the last of his orgasm, Alec gathered him up and rolled until they lay on their sides in the driver's seat.

The car around them was hot, almost stifling with a musky scent. One of the seatbelt buckles dug into Alec's thigh. The compartment between the driver and passenger's seat was a hard and unyielding surface against Alec's back. His left pelvis was starting to ache. His shoulders were up in an odd shrugging fashion, held in place by being squashed up into the driver's seat. Alec felt hot, cramped and in truth, sticky where he was.

Head tucked in the cradle formed by the seat and Alec's shoulder, Logan stayed turned towards Alec. One leg was folded awkwardly under him. Logan's right arm was trapped under Alec's body; the other pinned between the two of them. 

Yet, neither wanted to move.

Logan panted inches from Alec's face. The flush on his cheeks begged for attention. Alec licked the pink painted over stubble. When Logan started shaking with laughter, Alec continued with exaggerated slurping sounds.

"We should, we should—Alec!" Logan yelped when Alec stuck a wet tongue into Logan's ear. 

"Sorry," Alec quipped, not sorry at all, "You were saying?" He lapped at the streaks of come on Logan's chest. The thought of his come smeared messily over Logan, his claim of flesh and blood, his goddamn proof of purchase, proof of _Mineminemine_ , made Alec's dick twitch.

"Again?" Logan grumbled drowsily as Alec's renewing interest ground into his stomach. "I can't. Really." He patted Alec's cock like it was a big dog. When Alec huddled closer, Logan nudged him back.

"Alec." Logan half whimpered. He pressed closer to Alec almost by reflex, shuddered and then feebly tried to push Alec away again. "No. We shouldn't—the files…we should, I mean…"

Alec took pity. Mindful of the deadline looming with Logan and his uncle, he reluctantly stopped. He smirked at the disappointed sound Logan couldn't stifle.

"You're right. We should head back." Alec shoved his nose into the drying mess across the planes of Logan's chest. "You're nice and loose, though. And you taste like min—I mean, I need to keep you in bed for the rest of the night after you're done. I wonder if I can make you scream again, Heather."

"Bed sounds goo— _No_ , Alec, wait. Later," Logan murmured. He sounded dazed, but in a husky way that drew a hum from Alec. Logan exhaled a moan when Alec pressed lips to his throat. Any more protests about work weren't forthcoming. Logan cradled Alec's dick, fingers lightly stroking. He tugged carefully, lower towards his belly.

"I wouldn't mind trying something new, too." Logan feebly attempted to lift his pelvis. 

Alec smoothed a palm down the firm curve of Logan's buttocks. He tugged the other's groin towards his cock.

"Good idea," Alec cooed. He palmed Logan's ass. His mouth watered at the sensation of firm flesh heavy in his hand. He slipped a finger into Logan's lips.

"I think we can try four now." Alec grew lightheaded when Logan sucked the digit. "You feel so good. You can take three. Yeah, let's try four. Babe, I'm going to have you come so ha—what?" 

Logan's mouth parted around Alec's finger with a _pop_. He blinked up, heavy-lidded and for some reason, surprised.

Alec's brow knitted. 

" _Okay_ , is that a no to four?" Alec squeezed Logan's buttocks together. He petted a cheek. He felt a twinge in his gut when Logan didn't react. He gave the satiny skin another stroke before regretfully pulling back. "What's the look for?"

Logan's mouth snapped shut. His head dropped back to his seat. He stared at the car roof. After a beat, he scoffed and shook his head.

Alec's frown deepened. He twisted around and dropped into the passenger seat. He mentally reviewed their conversation.

"Uh. Did you want me to switch it up and use my left hand instead? It's fine, too. We were cooked up to be ambidextrous."

"No, what I meant—" Logan closed his eyes. He smiled self-deprecatingly as he struggled to straighten up in the driver's seat. "Never mind. Let's go before we miss curfew."

Alec pursed his lips. The longer he looked, the pinker Logan's cheeks flushed. Alec found himself mentally flailing and his stomach knotted as he struggled to make a guess. 

Unless…

Alec swallowed.

"Er." Alec squirmed. "You didn't want me to…ah…spank you or anything, did you?" he asked haltering.

Logan nearly slipped off the driver's seat as he struggled to tug his jeans back up. " _What_?"

"I know I talked a lot about the feather thing…" One of the girls Alec had picked up once liked it, bound, unable to struggle but it left an odd taste in his mouth afterwards. It made for post-coital buzz kill. "Babe, you and I both know I'm about thirty percent all talk, seventy percent coc—" Alec's eyes widened. "Oh crap, you're not into that leather stuff, are you?" 

"Feather? Wait, _leather_?"

"So that's a yes to leather? Did you have a preference? Lamb? Cow? Horse?"

"No!" Logan looked like he was trying to squeeze himself out the driver's door. He gaped at Alec, flush gone. "Why are we—Oh. Is that something you, um, I mean…"

"Me? No! I thought—you said you wanted to try something new!"

"I said new, not _avant-garde_!"

Alec stopped. "Oh."

Logan sagged into his seat.

Alec felt a weird flush creeping up his neck again. Logan seemed to invite that reaction out of Alec a lot. He alternated between trying to get dressed and waving a hand towards Logan in an effort to banish the now _very_ awkward air hanging between them.

_Wow. Kinky sex talk doubles as cockblocking, who knew?_

"How did we ever get on this topic?" Logan rubbed his forehead. He was pink around the ears. At least he didn't look like his head was going to boil off his shoulders.

Alec grunted. He focused on his jeans. 

"You." Logan sounded hesitant. "You didn't want that, did you?"

Alec made a face. "Not really." He glanced over to Logan. 

"Not because it's you. Well, sort of because of you." The thought of tying Logan up, his hand marking Logan's skin with hurt made _Alec_ hurt in his gut. "Look, I'm just saying if you're feeling the urge to play naughty boy and me as your…" 

Alec screwed up his face. "I'm not really into that corporeal punishment, yes sir, kinky stuff." He had enough of that as a baby robot, thank you very mucho. 

Logan started and he looked over to Alec, his hands still on his polo's hem. 

Shit, Alec said that out loud.

"Oh geez, don't give that look! I'm not a box of kittens in the rain. I'm only saying that if that's what you were talking about; it's not my thing, all right?"

Logan swallowed. He nodded as he finished pulling his polo back down.

"Wait, so was that nod for the spanking or a nod for _no_ spanking?"

Logan dropped his forehead onto the steering wheel. He sat up with a jerk when the car honked resentfully. He cast his eyes ceilingward.

Alec wasn't sure what the hell was going on. How did they go from talking about round four, five, _nine_ in Logan's bed to naughty play to this weird eye avoidance? And he wasn't sure why Logan was turning even redder in the ears and throat, but Alec was tempted to straddle Logan again to see if he could lick it off.

"Let's just head back," Logan said. His mouth crooked to an odd weary smirk. He glanced over to Alec, chuckled to himself and somehow turned even redder.

"Okay," Alec drawled out slowly. He finished straightening up so he would look more like a PCA to a sector cop, not a guy who just came three times in a tiny hatchback car.

The car rumbled as it turned out from the service road. Tiny stones skittered away under its wake. The streets were mind-numbingly empty. Quiet. 

Until…

"So…That was fun," Alec said brightly. "We got some dirt on your uncle _and_ some awesome naked time. When's the next time you're meeting an informant?"

Logan barely recovered from his sputtering in time to give his id to the sector cop. 

 

It wasn't a surprise when Logan jerked against him.

Alec blinked blearily from where he had rested his cheek on the smooth plane of Logan's shoulder. He murmured, his mouth brushing down the knobby line of Logan's spine.

"I wake you?" Logan's question floated out hoarse in the dark.

Alec kissed the base of Logan's neck. He said nothing.

Logan sharply inhaled as if Alec did. "In a few hours…"

"Sh," Alec whispered. He drew his knees higher to slot under Logan's. He tightened his arms over Logan's stomach. He pulled Logan in, tucked him closer to his body.

"You'll figure something out." Alec rubbed his foot against a cool ankle. Logan always woke up cold. "Go back to sleep."

"If only those files—"

"Yeah, I was hoping those files had something, too."

"I waited too long to do anything. I should have—"

"No, no. Sh…" Alec's hand spread over Logan's abdomen. He rubbed small massaging circles. 

Logan shuddered. He curled his hands around Alec's wrists to still them.

Alec dropped another kiss, a softer one, to Logan's nape. He nipped at the hairline, teeth grazing down to an ear lobe.

Logan's hands loosened.

"You tried," Alec murmured. He alternated between nips and kisses. "And I know you're going to keep working on making it right. We can't do anything about tomorrow morning, but that's only one day." He huddled closer to Logan's back. He gathered up limbs and cradled Logan to his body. 

"We'll regroup." Alec nuzzled the small of Logan's back. "You'll figure something out, _Eyes Only_."

Logan sagged into the shape of Alec's body. He lay on his side, unmoving, still stiff if at least not as tense as before. Alec knew there was no way he could coax Logan back to sleep. He held Logan, his nose pressed to Logan's hair; his legs in-between Logan's. He exhaled slowly, felt Logan do the same and supposed this was close enough to sleep for either of them.

The dark slipped into something quieter; something Alec thought they could both breathe easier under. The thick blankets drawn high to their shoulders was a comfortable weight that swallowed up sound. Alec squinted in the dark, his sight making out the small cluster of moles on Logan's shoulder. He felt Logan inhale and exhale against his chest. Idly, Alec gave the flat stomach a scratch.

Logan's hands suddenly clasped tighter around Alec's.

"Thank you," Logan croaked.

Brow furrowed, Alec mentally shrugged and only replied with a kiss on Logan's shoulder. 

 

_"…here comes Bennett Cale to ring the opening bell. It is in honor of the changing of the guard as the new CEO of Cale Industries, the technological division of Cale Conglomerate. The Dow in response has…"_

Phil fidgeted, his egg sandwich forgotten in his hands. 

Alec glowered at the screen, his own breakfast cooling on the grease dotted paper plate. He was tempted to throw his boot at the television perched precariously on top of a tower of old apple crates. The announcement aired uninterrupted by any hack and droned on about all the fine and dandy things _Cale Industries_ invented, including the freaky hoverdrones. The cheering and the ringing bell made his skin shrink painfully tight over his bones. Jonas Cale held up his hand clasped to his son's hand in a form of an elitist's fist pump. 

_"…changeover made official today despite rumored opposition. The Board of Directors refused to confirm who among the ranks would have…"_

"Did we fail?" Phil murmured sadly. He looked around the makeshift diner made from strategically hammered corrugated sheet metal. 

No one looked up from their food. Most were hunkered over the stacked wooden pallets that worked as tables. Only one or two looked up to glare at the television screen for a few blinks before returning back to their food. Then again, the downtrodden usually didn't have much interest in the ongoings of rich folks; they only want to know where their next dollar was coming from. 

Alec gnawed a corner off his sandwich. Damn it, the owner switched out the ham for something else again.

Phil appeared crestfallen. He poked his food with a dirt smudged finger. Even the camera lens perched on his head drooped.

"Don't waste food," Alec muttered. He nodded towards Phil's plate. "And the mission isn't over." 

"But—"

Alec shook his head jerkily. Phil's mouth audibly snapped shut. 

"Our guy has a plan," Alec murmured. Although Alec imagined it was a bitch now with Jonas Cale retiring and all the departments shuffled around. 

Alec wished Logan told him what he planned to do this morning. Alec woke up to Logan hunched over his tiny laptop computer, his fingers a blur over his keyboard. Alec wanted to stay. He was taken aback when Logan vetoed it.

"Is that why we have no new orders?" Phil asked through his food. "Is our leader on a solo mission?"

"No, he's not—will you chew with your mouth closed? And no, he's not going solo." _He better not be._ "He has a plan." 

It burned sour in the back of Alec's throat that he couldn't fill in the blanks.

"Need to know," Alec said finally.

Phil frowned. He looked like he smelled a fart. 

Alec's shoulders slumped.

"Yeah," Alec grumbled, "I know."

 

Alec almost turned his bike around when he spotted Sung.

"Seriously?" Alec whined as he rolled closer to _Jam Pony_. "You're ruining my rep showing up here. Why do you think I gave you guys those beeping things?"

Sung arched an eyebrow at Alec. He didn't straighten up from his lean next to the front entrance. He was nonplussed at the dirty looks Herbal and Sketchy gave him as they rode by.

"Did you hear from him?" Sung asked by way of greeting.

Alec darkened.

"No," Alec grumbled.

"They just announced—"

"I know." The bike squawked when Alec dug its front wheel deep into the pavement. 

Sung pursed his lips. "What does Logan's boss say about this?"

Alec set his jaw. "Only that he's working on something."

"And Logan?"

Alec's expression twisted. "Same thing."

Sung grunted. "So we do nothing?"

Alec squeezed the handlebars until his palms ached. 

"No, I'm pretty sure someone is doing something." 

 

The slouch over the keyboard was a familiar one. So were the thuds of a knee banging into a desk.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," Alec said quietly. He dropped down from the window sill. His rigging slithered down into a coiled pile on the carpet. His backpack fell with a muffled _thump_.

The knocking beat stopped.

"Oh," Logan said. He stared blankly at his lap. "I didn't realize I—" He deliberately angled his chair towards the living area. "Thought you were grabbing a beer with Original Cindy?"

Alec shrugged. "She and River are having some _discussion_." He made a face as he made air quotes with his fingers. "I was getting hives from all the emo, so I blazed out of there." 

Logan wanly smiled before he turned back towards his desk. 

The clatter of keys grated Alec's nerves. The corner of his left eye twitched. 

"Been in here all day?" Alec smoothed out the tick with his thumb. He walked over to the office area. He stood behind Logan. He could see his reflection on the inactive monitors sitting on the higher shelves.

Logan grunted. He gave his fingers a shake to get the circulation back before typing again. Lines of code flashed by.

Alec arched an eyebrow at the screen. "I'm not a hacker, but isn't that—"

"Yes," Logan said curtly. The keystrokes faltered. "I might have a plan."

Alec studied the rigid line across Logan's shoulders. Tentatively, Alec dropped his hands on them.

Fingers paused over keys.

"You don't look too happy about it." Alec gave the corded muscles he could feel a brief squeeze. Something under Logan's skin jumped; Alec applied more pressure to the tensed line.

Logan's shoulders sagged under Alec's palms.

"There you go," Alec murmured. He dug the heels of his hands into the firm flesh wrapped around Logan's shoulders. He pressed in and pushed out, following the pulse he felt thrumming under the skin.

Logan slumped further. His head rolled to rest against one of Alec's arms.

"Better?" Alec asked as he continued his massage.

Logan mutely nodded.

There was a cord that bulged out from under Logan's jaw and snarled down the line of his shoulders. When Alec applied pressure down the tendon, Logan whimpered.

"You were here all day," Alec guessed as he worked on the other. It felt like digging into stone. Alec's neck ached in sympathy. "You should have taken a break."

"I needed to figure this out." Logan curled a hand around Alec's wrists, halting him. 

Alec sighed. He dropped his arms over Logan's shoulders, resting his cheek on Logan's from behind. His chest bloomed with heat when Logan turned his head and nipped Alec's jaw. 

Bumping his chin towards Logan's jaw, Alec considered the screen before them. His lower back creaked from stooping too long, but he couldn't bring himself to pull away when he felt Logan rest his head against his cheek.

"What have you got so far?" Alec wrapped his arms around Logan's neck. He tipped his head against Logan and stared at the screen. "And what does it have to do with you hacking into your cousin's bank accounts?"

"Diversionary tactics." Logan reached over and tapped out a line of code. 

Another screen popped up. 

Alec huffed close to Logan's ear. "Cheater. That was my idea first." 

Logan leaned forward to type some more. He gagged briefly when his Adam's Apple bumped up against Alec's crossed arms.

Quickly, Alec dropped his arms. He swung around to lean lightly against the edge of the desk.

Logan glanced up at Alec, his brow furrowed.

Alec reached over and lightly tapped a loose fist on the other's jaw. Logan blinked.

"I thought up the dummy accounts first. This is plagiarism, you know." Alec poked Logan on the nose. "Isn't that like the ultimate no-no for you writers?"

Logan's stare was unnerving, but Alec's question drew him back to the screen.

"Not really." Logan's fingers flew across the keyboard. More screens dutifully materialized, overlapping each other as more popped up.

"And unlike you," Logan said with forced lightness, "While yours was discrete enough they'll miss it, mine would be obvious. Very obvious."

Alec twisted his torso to consider the screens.

"You know." Alec pursed his lips. "It'll only work if there are a few hard copies backing this up."

"I know."

At Logan's terse answer, Alec bit his lower lip, thinking. "That bank has a shitty alarm system. I can be in and out before you finish making dinner."

The typing stopped.

Logan's expression was pinched.

"I can't ask you to do that."

Alec shrugged. "You didn't. I'm offering." He inwardly frowned when he heard Logan's breath picked up. "If you make dinner."

"Hey." Alec tapped his boot on one of Logan's wheels. Logan numbly looked at Alec's shoe.

"It's an easy in and out." Alec wished Logan stopped looking like he wanted to escape back into the bedroom with his damn laptop. "Just give me the paperwork to back all this up and I'll get it done."

Logan shook his head. "It's only an idea. It might not even—"

Alec crouched next to Logan. He pulled Logan's hands away from the keyboard. 

"No more solo, remember?" Alec murmured. He rubbed Logan's hands together. The fingers felt cold and stiff. "Let me do this for you. This isn't the first mission. Nor it's going to be the last." 

Logan exhaled shakily. He squeezed Alec's hands.

"Before I'm done making dinner, huh?" Logan's mouth twisted into a facsimile of a smile. "You sound pretty sure."

"I may or may not have broken into those vaults once upon a time." Alec's grin was unrepentant. "I needed new boots."

Logan chuckled. It was almost convincing if it weren't for the lines at the corners of his eyes.

Alec kissed their combined hands on Logan's lap. Logan breathed out harshly before dipping his head to drop a kiss on Alec's brow.

"Two hours?"

"For _that_ place? Eh. Make it one."

 

It only took forty-three minutes.

Alec frowned at his window gaped wide open. The spring breeze that chilled Seattle for days howled into the penthouse frigid and biting.

"Hey," Alec murmured at the figure huddled in one end of the couch. He shut the window behind him. 

"Hey," Logan rasped. He nodded towards the covered dishes on the coffee table. "I'm already done making dinner." Logan's mouth quirked wearily at the corners. Too quickly, his lips flattened back out. 

Alec peered under the lids. He scoffed. 

"When I said I would be back before dinner: I meant dinner dinner. Reheating our Chinese food from last night doesn't count."

Logan lifted a snifter he cradled with both hands. "Left me plenty of time for this, though."

The faint taint of licorice and bitters swirled stronger the closer Alec approached Logan. 

Alec sighed as he shrugged out of his rigging and jacket. He dropped down on the couch next to Logan. Even though Logan's body was close, it still felt cold. He snagged the crumpled fleece blanket on the other end of the couch and threw it over Logan's legs.

"Heating dinner doesn't take long with that fancy kitchen of yours," Alec remarked. He did a mental calculation, frowned at Logan's glass; the equation came up with a sum that deepened Alec's scowl.

"How much did you have to drink?"

"Enough that all I could manage was reheat food."

Alec grabbed the glass before it tipped the rest of the honey colored brandy down Logan's throat. He glared at the glass, a muscle in his jaw jumping. With a mutter, he downed the rest of it. Done, he turned back and caught Logan studying him.

"What?" Alec couldn't help snapping.

"I wasn't drinking because you were out on a mission."

Alec blinked. He looked dumbly at the empty glass. "Oh." He made a face.

"It wasn't because you liked the taste, was it? Because it tasted like pee."

Logan snorted tiredly. He reached down to the carpet for the rest of the brandy.

Alec grabbed it and poured Logan two fingers worth. He clinked the bottle to Logan's glass and drained the rest before Logan could make grabby hands at it. Alec screwed up his face.

"Thought you said it tasted like pee?"

Alec shot a one eyed glare at Logan while he wiped his mouth with the back of a hand. "Yeah, well, maybe I'm acquiring a rich people's taste. Soon, I'm going to be craving for those fishy smelling egg thin—"

"I wasn't drinking because I sent you out on a mission."

Alec slumped into the couch. "So you said."

Logan sagged into the cushions next to Alec. His shoulder nudged into Alec's like it was seeking warmth. 

"I was drinking because tomorrow…" Logan abruptly drained his glass. He rolled the snifter in his hands.

"Tomorrow." Logan shook his head. He appeared nauseated, but Alec knew it wasn't from the brandy.

"Tomorrow," Alec echoed. 

Logan dropped his head on Alec's shoulder, his body leaning into Alec. 

Alec relaxed under a sensation he realized was starting to feel as familiar as the feel of his own hand. He hesitantly reached out and draped an arm around Logan's hunched shoulders. He was rewarded with Logan's drawn out sigh.

"You think it'll work?" Alec murmured. He barely gave dinner a glance. The weight of Logan against him seemed to fill him up.

"I almost hope it doesn't," Logan rasped.

Alec pressed his lips to Logan's hair. He settled against Logan and waited with him for tomorrow.

 

" _This just in…_ "

Alec glanced up on reflex. But the news anchorwoman didn't disappear in a flick; there was no static popping in or a voice intoning about freedom, hacking, voice, etc. The blue stock ticker banner for the Heng Sang index stopped scrolling on the television screen. 

All around the makeshift café, no one paused from their greasy, too salty, questionable sausage and egg sandwiches.

Even though it wasn't a surprise, Alec's stomach still lurched.

" _…a press release from Cale Industries announced there will be a delay in the changeover from current CEO Jonas Cale to his son Bennett Cale…_ "

_Ah hell, Heather._

Alec darted a look over to Phil. The guy stared at the screen with strips of egg hanging out of his opened mouth.

" _Anonymous tip to the SEC points to newly appointed CEO, Bennett Cale with being involved with insider trading. Investigators have discovered an unreported bank account…"_

"Isn't that—"

Alec shushed him.

 _"…all proceedings on hold until further investigation …Jonas Cale will resume as CEO…_ "

"He did it," Alec breathed. 

" _Eyes Only_?" Phil whispered. At Alec's hiss, he ducked his head. He stretched his head out across the table. Alec reluctantly mirrored him.

Phil glanced at Alec and back to the screen again.

"Is this a new plan?" Phil said low. "What now?"

Alec's brow furrowed as he checked the screen as stock exchanges began sloping downwards, turning from green to red. Bennet Cale's smiling visage showed up off the shoulder of the newscaster with red "Arrested" underneath.

"Now," Alec murmured, "We wait for _their_ move."

 

When Alec lowered himself down to Logan's floor, his window was already open.

Sitting by the gap, eyes forward, Logan greeted Alec with a toneless, "I framed him."

The rigging groaned when it halted. Alec hung on his bowline. He curled his fingers on the sill.

"Yeah." Alec didn't know what else to say.

Logan made no move to roll back from Alec's window. He sat in his wheelchair; a fleece blanket was tucked sloppily over his lap once more. He was dressed in navy sweats this time. Again, no socks. He looked small and cold.

"The evidence…" Logan exhaled. His breath smelled faintly of alcohol again, but his face was pale this time. It made the smudges under his eyes stand out like fresh bruises.

"I couldn't trace it back to my uncle. We were running out of time. I needed more time—" 

"I know," Alec cut in gruffly. "This is what we figured would happen after I planted those forms yesterday." He still wasn't sure how comfortable he felt about Logan's lack of surprise that he could learn Bennett Cale's signature within minutes. 

Logan looked away, his throat working.

"We knew this would happen when we did this," Alec said, stressing the word 'we' because he'll be damned if Heather hoarded the guilt and jammed it into his own belly. He wished Logan would lean towards him. He wished he could swing through his window, pull Logan to the ground, strip him out of his clothes and kill the shadows buried deep inside Logan like a barcode. But Logan blocked the window. He filled it with the weight of guilt in his eyes.

"How good is our proof?" Alec tightened his grip on the sill but didn't go in. 

"Good," Logan admitted. "But not good enough once a prosecutor has a real look at it, but…" A shadow crossed over Logan's face. "Money to the right people and the case could still go on for days. Weeks. The board would never go for my cousin as CEO during this. If ever. He would be out of the line of fire."

Alec pulled closer to the window. He hooked his forearm over the sill to prevent his line from swinging him back.

Logan stared at Alec's arm with longing, but he didn't reach over.

"Bennett's a good man." Logan rubbed down his thighs absently. "He doesn't deserve this."

"No," Alec agreed because deep down, he knew saying anything else would be a lie Logan would see through. And Alec suspected that would be worse. 

"No, he probably didn't deserve it," Alec said bluntly. "And yeah, framing your cousin so your uncle couldn't use him as some fancy corporate hostage was a dick move…" He waited until Logan's face smoothed away from the grimace he made. Alec flexed his arms and drew in until his face could feel the heat of the living room.

"But," Alec murmured, "It was also a necessary move. It was either your cousin's paycheck or more people dead."

Logan's eyes drifted up to Alec. The dull gaze darkened in proximity. 

"I know what _Eyes_ —no, what _Logan Cale_ would choose."

Logan dropped his head to rest on Alec's arm on the sill.

Alec's rigging swayed. His ass was freezing hanging (because despite what Heather said, he doesn't dangle) outside in the early spring night. His arms started to cramp.

Nevertheless, Alec only dipped his head down and dropped a kiss on Logan's hair. He nuzzled the strands, his nose stroking left and right in lieu of his hands.

"Do you want me to come in?" Alec mouthed on what he could see of Logan's temples. The skin felt vulnerable, paler and thinner tonight.

"Let me in," Alec whispered on the skin. He breathed out on Logan's temple and watched a few short strands ruffled in his wake.

Logan raised his head. His eyes were too large, too dark and too weary for his face. He slipped his hands over Alec's. He squeezed, pressing Alec's grip tighter to the sill.

"I think I already have," Logan croaked.

Alec knitted his brow. "You sure?" He wiggled his ass for good measure. The harness jangled. "My nuts are starting to ice over out here."

Logan huffed out a laugh. "I meant…" He curled his hands around Alec's wrists briefly. He rolled back. "Never mind. Maybe I can help warm them up?"

Alec mourned the loss of Logan's hands on his skin. They were warmer than any gloves he ever was fortunate enough to own. But he hesitated swinging a leg in. It was an odd feeling; they've been here before on opposite sides of the window.

"You sure?" Alec fixed his gaze at Logan, now a few feet away. "Do you want me here?"

Logan's smile was weary yet bright.

"Yes, I want you."

Alec slipped through the window gap. As he shut the window, set the alarm, followed Logan into the kitchen to find something Logan was _in the mood_ for, Alec couldn't shake the feeling there was a whole other conversation he just missed.

 

When Alec felt the swell of Logan's buttocks brushing against his cock, he froze.

"Whoops." Alec rolled off the bed. It was a nice way to wake up in the morning, sure, but he wasn't expecting it. Alec's arm shot out to keep Logan on his side.

Logan blinked blearily over his shoulder. He hastily turned back around.

Alec scrubbed his face.

"Sorry," Alec muttered. He smoothed a palm down Logan's arm. "I didn't like, you know…" He checked. His stomach calmed when it appeared Logan escaped unmolested, his skin unmarred with rashes or come.

Logan sighed, but for whatever reason, he sounded amused.

"What?"

Logan carefully rolled until he was on his back. Unlike Alec, he looked wide awake.

Alec frowned to himself. He had felt Logan jerking awake several times since the announcement a few nights ago. He scanned Logan's face, categorized the smudges under Logan's eyes, the lingering pallor of his rough cheeks, the lines at the corners of his mouth.

"…be sorry."

"Huh?" Alec shook out of his mental examination when he caught the tail end of whatever Logan was saying. He grinned sheepishly at Logan.

"You know how distracting a naked you can be." Alec snickered at Logan's eye roll. "No, seriously, I'm all ears now. And all arms and legs and dic—okay!" Alec gulped back a chortle as he dodged a swipe towards his head. "I'm listening now. Really. I swear on my good boots." 

Logan's exasperation faded. He looked fidgety now. He pulled himself to sit up against the headboard. He glanced over to Alec. Then, very primly, pulled the covers higher over his lap. Boo.

"I said…" Logan took a deep breath. "I said what if I don't want you to be sorry?"

Alec canted his head. 

Logan's ears tipped pink. "I mean," he fumbled, "what if you don't have to keep apologizing? You could…go right ahead."

"Go right ahead," Alec echoed. "With what?"

Logan groaned. His head dropped back to the headboard.

"Babe, it's five in the morning, as perfect as I am, I'm still not much of an A.M person. You're gonna have to either speak English or show me and could I put in a vote now for the showing me?"

Logan shot Alec a glare.

"Heather, hate to tell you this but doing that naked only makes me want to shove my tongue down your throat."

"That's all?" 

Alec's eyebrow rose. "You know it's not. Hell, tongue, fingers, I'm pretty much happy to have you for breakfast, lunch and dinner."

Logan scrubbed his face with his hands. He mumbled behind them.

"What?"

Logan kept his face covered a beat longer. Then, he abruptly pulled his hands down.

"I said what about your dick?"

Alec leered. "I'm more than happy to put that down your throat, too."

"What if I didn't want it in my, er, throat?" 

Alec's eyes drifted to Logan's torso. There were red patches along his side.

Logan tugged the covers lower. Alec's brain short-circuited briefly.

"I mean…" Logan's hand went up. The slow wave in the air caught Alec's attention. In a trance, Alec tracked it as it glide down Logan's side, around, lower, lowering to slip underneath the firm flesh.

"I don't know what it has to do with where you want my dick," Alec murmured, his eyes transfixed to Logan's wrist. His cock twitched at what his imagination conjured up: long, neat fingers teasing a loosened hole slicked with lu—

"Fuck!" Alec yelped as he flailed to get away from the sharp pinch to his balls and to stay upright on the bed.

"Exactly!" Logan exasperated.

Alec stopped short. He rubbed the injured spot. He stared at Logan. He stared at the flush that returned; it started with Logan's cheeks then his jaw and the line of Logan's neck. He looked numbly at his own lap.

"You once said you could wait," Logan said awkwardly. He scratched his chin. "What if I asked you not to wait anymore?"

A swell of heat rose in Alec's chest. He felt his dick filling and stiffening with interest.

"Oh," Alec said lamely. "You meant— _oh_."

Unbidden, the thought of sliding into Logan with something other than his fingers, into that warm and dark clutch, rose up like a heatwave.

Alec tugged the edge of the blanket over his lap now.

Logan stared blatantly at Alec's crotch. "And that answers my question if you're still interested."

"Interested?" Alec wiggled back next to Logan. He bumped shoulders with Logan. "Is this why you've been acting so weird lately? You're weird, but usually in a mopey, dopey sort of way, not…" He shimmied on the spot, hip checking Logan.

Logan groaned. He pressed the heels of his hands over his eyes. "I was never good at these things." He lowered his hands and smirked ruefully at Alec.

"If all else failed, I was going to throw a tube of lube at your head."

Alec rolled his eyes. "That'll get the message across, thanks." He snorted when Logan elbowed him. They chuckled, but the longer they looked at each other, the longer Alec didn't find it funny anymore. 

"Remember what I said? You're ready when you stopped asking if we should." Alec tilted his head as he considered Logan.

"Are you telling me you're ready?"

Logan smiled faintly. "You didn't get the message the past few weeks? I should have put it in a hack."

" _Yeah_ , Freedom Streaming bulletin, sixty seconds of that cute ass pressed up on the screen. I'll be too busy punching out every guy who saw it."

"What?"

"Nothing." Alec splayed a hand over Logan's stomach. His thumb massaged small circles in the soft skin just under Logan's belly button.

"So…you're ready?" Alec murmured. "You want this?"

"I do," Logan whispered. He sucked in his breath and Alec's hand sank lower, slipping down to his groin. "I do. Alec, I'm ready now. _Now_."

Logan's voice was throaty, a whisper than skimmed down Alec's back like a caress. But Alec caught Logan averting his eyes when Alec curled a loose hand around the already fading morning erection.

"It doesn't matter." Alec pulled away from the softening cock. Logan made a small sound, his pelvis valiantly trying to tilt up to Alec's hand.

"It does," Logan insisted. He attempted to slide down the bed. He made a frustrated sound when Alec stopped him. "Alec?"

"I wasn't lying. It doesn't matter." Alec gripped Logan's hand. "What we have now is good."

"But you believe we could have something better," Logan countered.

Alec opened his mouth to deny it, but at Logan's unblinking gaze, he shrugged.

"I think so," Alec confessed. "You respond so well to everything else. God, if only you could see how you look when I…" He cleared his throat.

"But we don't need this." Alec dropped his other hand over Logan's. "I meant it. Only when you're ready." He studied Logan.

"What?"

Alec cleared his throat. "I gotta question the timing of this too." He caressed Logan's knuckles. "Why now?" 

A cold inkling wormed into Alec's throat. He swallowed, but the wiggling sensation hardened to a lump.

"I know things with your uncle, your cousin…" Alec forced himself not to avert his eyes. He pressed down on Logan's hand carefully.

"If you need a distraction, it doesn't have to be this. There's so much we could do instead. Whatever you're comfortable with."

Logan turned his hand and gripped Alec's hand tightly.

"I would _never_ use you like that."

"Who's using me?" Alec squeezed Logan's hand back. "I'm offering. Anything you want."

Logan's mouth twisted. He leaned in and kissed the corner of Alec's mouth. He withdrew before Alec could chase those lips for more.

"It wasn't because I wanted to keep my mind off of it." Logan pulled Alec's hand to his lap. His thumb grazed over each one of Alec's fingers. "It felt like it was time. I don't know when it started." Logan massaged Alec's hand. "Each time we…it felt like I wanted, no, needed more."

"More?"

Logan nodded wordlessly.

"Uh, more as in 'Gee, I wished Alec would steal me pretty and shiny things' or more as in 'Oh my God, three fingers isn't enough anymore, _gimme'_?"

Logan choked out a laugh. "Neither." He glanced sideways at Alec. 

"More like 'Gee, I wish Alec would fuck me into the mattress like he said he would.'"

Alec shuddered. "Okay. You are no longer allowed to say the f-word because that just looked wrong coming out of Your Holiness's mouth." He laughed awkwardly. 

"So…" Alec wiggled his fingers in Logan's grip. "You think you're ready, huh?"

Logan didn't answer verbally. He pulled Alec's hand to his lips.

Alec could hear himself, chuckling a tad high-pitched. 

"Okay. Wow. Uh. Cool."

"Cool?" Logan echoed. He arched an eyebrow at Alec.

"What's that look for?"

"I thought your response would be more…enthusiastic." A shadow flickered over Logan's expression and smoothed out the nervous little smile.

"Apparently, I'm the only one ready for this." Logan's hand twitched around Alec's. "You don't want to anymore?"

"No. I do. I don't know. I just…To be honest…" Alec smiled ruefully at Logan. "I was hoping if and when you're ready; you would give me some advanced notice." At Logan's eyebrow, Alec squirmed.

"I was going to get some things." Alec's cheeks burned when Logan's other eyebrow rose as well. He lifted a hand towards his neck before he remembered. He dropped his hand hastily. He could feel Logan's gaze on him.

"Aw," Alec muttered. "I was thinking for your first time, maybe I should something fancy, some flowers and stuff."

"Flowers and stuff?" Logan repeated.

Crap, it felt like Alec ran a 100K in three hours flat. He felt flushed all over.

"Original Cindy knows someone with some edible massage oils," Alec muttered.

"You told _Original Cindy_?" Mortification replaced amusement. 

Alec squinted at Logan. He made a face when Logan's wide-eyed expression registered.

"What? No. _Hell_ no. I don't kiss and tell!"

"Since when?"

Alec jabbed Logan in the ribs. "She just mentioned she and her girl were going to try some and I thought…" Alec stared hard at the carpet below. "It sounded interesting and I—can we go back to you and your sudden decision for the next, I mean—" Geez, what were they going to call it?

"The final frontier?" Alec finished lamely.

Logan stared. 

"The top of the mountain?"

Logan stared some more. 

"Home base?"

Then, Logan started to laugh.

The vibrations against Alec felt nice. He grinned lopsidedly at Logan.

"Well, what would you call it?" Alec teased. "The horizontal tango?"

Logan gulped back his mirth. He pressed his hands to his eyes again as his shoulders shook uncontrollably. 

"Or is it tab A and—"

"Please," Logan managed. "Don't even finish that one. The names I heard in those videos were bad enough."

Now Alec's brow flew up. "Videos?" 

Logan's chuckles died abruptly. His eyes darted left and right. He sighed when Alec poked him with a hard elbow.

"I was curious about how it looked or…or feel." Logan's smile turned strained. "In case I couldn't…"

Alec gaped at Logan.

Logan frowned. "Alec?"

A bubble grew then burst in Alec's throat; he blurted out the first thing in his mind.

"You…you watched _porn_?"

Logan chuckled nervously. "You and I both know I'm new to—"

" _Without me_?"

Logan sputtered to a halt. "What?"

Alec jabbed Logan in the chest. "I can't believe you watched porn without me. That was our thing, Heather!"

"We have a thing about watching porn?" Somehow, Logan managed to not appear ridiculous folding his arms in front of his naked chest.

"I thought our thing was _doing_ porn."

"Dude, it's _all_ porn: watching, doing, thinking—"

" _Thinking_?" Logan looked like he couldn't decide if he was amused or offended. His face twisted and Alec suddenly wanted to kiss his nose. 

"How can we think porn together—"

"Easy! A mirror, cheesy stripper music and some chocolate flavored lube!"

" _What_?"

"Don't interrupt! No porn without me!" Alec mock glowered at Logan's aghast expression.

Alec abruptly sobered. "I…look, if you had questions…" Alec picked at the covers under him. "You could have asked me. I mean, given my experience and…and stuff…"

Logan stilled Alec's hand worrying the quilt's seam.

"I was curious, that's all," Logan said quietly, "On how I'm supposed to react." He shrugged, discomfited. "Just in case."

Alec's stomach lurched. His mouth pressed thin. 

"You mean in case you need to fake it?" Alec shot Logan a look. "In case you need to _pretend_ you were enjoying yourself, pretend you want this?"

Logan's eyes widened. "No, I…" He slumped into the pillows behind him. 

"In case it wasn't enough," Logan croaked.

Alec's chest cinched around his heart.

"Of course it's not enough."

Logan deflated.

"I can never get enough of you."

Logan's eyes flew up.

Alec leaned in and pressed a kiss at the corner of Logan's mouth.

"I can't get enough kissing you." Alec swept his palms over Logan's chest. "Touching you." His hands curled behind Logan's head. "Feeling you. Tasting you." 

Logan's hands drifted up to curl loosely around Alec's wrists.

"I…" Alec struggled for words, caught under Logan's wide eyes. "I don't know what it is about you. I can't get enough. The more I kiss you, the more I want to kiss you again." He straddled Logan, his every move tracked by a green gaze that darkened the closer he came. He traced the bow of Logan's lips.

"The more I touch you, the more I think about when I can touch you again."

Alec placed his hands on either side of Logan's ribcage. He soaked in the _thump-thump_ fluttering against his palm, the feel of Logan's lungs expanding in life-giving breath.

"This," Alec whispered. "I can't get enough of this." He kissed the corner of Logan's mouth. He nipped, licked the tiny patch of dry skin, tongue pushing and laving the seam of Logan's lower lip, coaxing it to curve up. He slipped his arms around Logan's shoulders, eased him flat on the bed. He settled until he was lying across Logan's body, their legs tangled together, their cocks huddled against each other. Alec kept his hands on Logan's sides; he felt Logan's heartbeat quickening after Alec peppered his throat with kisses.

"I'll always want more." Alec gently rocked against Logan, his cock brushing along a flat stomach. He rubbed his nipples across Logan and hummed when Logan gave a shiver that seeped into Alec's bones.

"Whatever you want to give me…" Heat gathered in tiny flames as Logan nibbled a line down Alec's chest. 

Alec arched his back, leaning his chest to Logan's mouth. Logan heard his silent plea; the flicks of Logan's tongue sparked fires on the dusky circles around Alec's nipples. Another wet flick, the sharp tease of teeth and liquid heat rippled down Alec's body, churn in his belly, pooling, swelling down to his cock.

Groaning, Alec rocked his erection over the hard planes of Logan's stomach. He shivered as his length skimmed over the trace of dark hair that trailed into Logan's groin. He ground into Logan's body. He felt more than heard Logan gasp. He dropped his head, the tip of his nose touching Logan's flushed face. He prodded Logan's left arm until it stayed tight to its side. Alec eagerly guided the head of his cock into the tight passage Logan created and thrust.

It's enough and it's not enough as Alec's hips snapped forward into the pressed flesh. He could feel sweat pooled into the dimples on top of his buttocks. His lower back felt coiled tight, too tight, as the muscles flexed to sustain Alec's relentless pace.

Logan's skin, despite the lingering perspiration, was a little dry and there were moments Alec thought he should slow down, because he was going to leave rashes on Logan again, because he didn't want pain and pleasure to be interchangeable. He didn't want Logan to feel pain, not with this; it was going to be different for Logan. It was going to be _better_.

Tapered fingers dug into Alec's biceps, deeper until it felt like it could touch bone before Logan came with a broken cry. It still sounded startled.

Alec eased out. He roughly pumped his cock and came all over Logan's chest, splattering the other's chin. He whimpered when a warm and callused hand wrapped around him and milked him dry. The touch was loose, so gentle; it was nothing like Alec had ever felt. He came again from it; Logan's name tumbling out of his lips.

Winded, Alec settled into Logan, trapping the other between him and the mattress.

Logan idly drew whorls on Alec's back. The symbols sank into Alec hot and everlasting.

Alec squirmed closer. He shoved his head under Logan's chin. He butted into Logan, who tipped his head obligingly. Alec gripped Logan by the hips and ground his renewing erection into Logan's crotch.

The mattress creaked as Alec rocked, crushing Logan deeper into the bed, his pelvis slamming forward in sharp snaps spurred on by Logan's breathy cries. 

"This," Alec growled. He lifted onto his elbows, his body slapping harder into Logan. "I can't get enough of this. I can't get enough of watching you come."

Logan curled his hands on Alec's biceps. He kept trying to say Alec's name; the syllables choked off as he gasped and moaned.

Watching Logan come apart for the second time was better than the first; Logan's voice always rose with Alec's thrusts. Logan's body always thrummed as his next orgasm ripped through him. Logan always shook after like he was trying to wring out a third.

Alec's teeth latched onto the crook of Logan's shoulder. He buried his face into the curve as his hips rocked forward. He wanted to hear Logan like this: reduced to breathy, needy, sometimes animalistic sounds.

"Oh God," Logan gasped, even as he feebly tried to roll his pelvis up towards Alec. Logan panted softly into Alec's throat.

"Alec," Logan groaned. "I want this and more. I…" Warm hands slipped over Alec's shoulders. "I want to try. I do. Now. Alec, damn it. I'm ready _now_."

"Sh." Alec gently pushed Logan to lie flat on his back before Logan could curl towards him; before Alec forgot himself and took what was offered. Because he would. He could feel his body thrumming with need, his blood singing to take, to _take_ , his cock pistoning into the molten heat pinned underneath him, his hands clamped over Logan's wrists, his grip iron tight like shackl—

Abruptly, Alec's returning erection deflated against Logan's thigh. 

Alec carefully eased off Logan's body. He caught Logan's gaze dulling as it drifted to Alec's groin and he knew he was caught.

"But you're not," Logan said tonelessly. He smiled tightly. "The irony is a little funny." Logan didn't look like he wanted to laugh, though.

"I'm ready and I'm not." Alec splayed a hand on Logan's chest. He massaged the defined pecs, smeared his come all over. He liked how it glistened on Logan; droplets of possession clinging to the wiry strands of chest hair. "I know I was pretty verbally about what I want and I thought the minute you said yes, I would be keeping you in this bed all week, but…" 

Alec laughed awkwardly. "Yeah. The irony." 

"Let me get used to the idea, okay?" Alec kissed Logan's throat. Logan tipped his head back. Alec nipped his favorite sweet spot of skin on Logan's collar bone.

"Let me get some stuff ready, okay?"

"Oh no," Logan moaned as Alec nibbled his way down to a come stained nipple. He strained up towards Alec's mouth. "No flowers. No candles. Please."

"All right," Alec murmured, "But I want this to be special. I want to take my time for you." He tilted his head up. Logan's expression wasn't shadowed. Instead, he looked rather thoughtful. Alec wasn't sure if that was good or not.

"It will be your first time. I want…" Alec dropped his eyes. He palmed a pec. Logan inhaled deep, his chest arching up to his touch.

"I want to be careful with you. Otherwise, it would never be good. Not really. You can watch all the videos you want, read all the research you want, react the way you were ordered to…but it'll never be good. Ever. And…" Alec's face burrowed into Logan's rough jaw.

"I want it to be good for you. Your first time. Someone should at least—I want to give you that."

Logan was silent for a long time. Alec didn't dare look up, to see what face Logan wore. Instead, he lay there, body lined up with Logan's, nose pressed against the jugular.

"This means a lot to you." Logan's words ruffled the hair on top of Alec's head. 

Alec shrugged. He relished the feel of Logan breathing, chest pushing against Alec with each inhale. He didn't think about manuals, videos and a bored voice ordering him to report to—No, he didn't think about it.

"I do want it," Logan said suddenly, his voice hushed as if they had agreed on a veil of quiet. "I thought about it a lot. I know you're worried. Thank you." He palmed Alec's cheek. "Okay, slow. We'll go slow. But how slow?"

Alec's lips grazed along Logan's clavicle. He lingered on the ghost of a hurt; he wondered if Logan would ever tell him about how he broke his collar bone. 

"We're not on a deadline." Alec trailed the back of his fingers down Logan's side. He felt Logan's breath stutter under him. 

"Okay," Logan said, a little breathless.

Alec kissed the tender skin under Logan's chin. He sighed as he settled back over Logan's heart. He listened to it beat serenely under his ear. Logan brushed a hand down Alec's back. Dark memory, echoes of a sterile room faded with each gentle stroke until Alec felt boneless.

"I'm still pissed you watched porn without me, though." Alec crushed his pout against Logan's jaw. He felt Logan chuckle.

"To be honest, it wasn't all it cracked up to be."

"Really? Too vanilla?"

Logan rumbled under Alec. "God, no, unless vanilla was used as a lube—"

" _Ooh_ , there's an idea."

Alec yelped when Logan tweaked his right nipple.

"I'm only saying! You can learn a lot from those videos!"

"Alec, I don't think there's much I can learn from a feather, a smoothie—"

"Aw man, you watched _Slurpie_?"

"…Of course, you know what I'm talking about."

Alec grinned at Logan's exasperated voice. He hummed as Logan scratched the base of his skull. That man with his clever fingers.

"Hey, did you watch all of his stuff?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I thought you didn't like kinky?"

"There are several layers of kink I'm okay with, like the one with the ice cream and—"

"No, no, no." Logan's body shook. "I'm happy to make dessert, not _be_ dessert."

"You're no fun." Alec smirked. "How about the feather?"

"No."

"Ice cube?"

"No."

"Skirt?"

" _No_ ," Logan replied before Alec could finish. He chuckled when Alec lifted up his head and scowled at him. He narrowed his eyes when Alec suddenly smirked.

"What about the one with the socks?"

Logan blanched. "Was that even possible?"

Alec's eyebrows waggled at Logan, who flushed a sexy sort of red that went down his neck and—Mm.

"No." Logan was cute in his denial at times. His voice went a touch higher; his breath is quicker. He begged to be kissed over and over whenever he looked so baffled.

"You better believe it. That guy? All the way. It's low budget; you think they can afford to CGI the hell out of it?"

"But the way it—"

"Yup."

"And when he put it on his—"

" _Oh yeah_."

Logan appeared both horrified and impressed. Alec was pretty sure a tiny little freak out was happening behind those forest green eyes. Alec sealed his mouth over Logan's slack one. His tongue darted in deeper until Logan began to return the kiss.

After some fun friction, some petting (despite what Logan claimed, he _did not purr_ ), the two parted with a wet smack.

Logan blinked, the dazed eyes clearing.

"I still say it isn't possible."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Not everything's a conspiracy, _Eyes Only_. Especially the naked ones." He leered at Logan.

"I'll be more than happy to debunk that with you one day." Alec rolled Logan's nipple between his index and thumb. He closed his eyes and enjoyed how Logan writhed under him. When he opened his eyes again, he continued, breathless.

"But for now…" Alec cupped Logan's face. There was something dizzying about how Logan met his eyes unflinching, without prejudice. He looked at Alec as if there was nothing else to see.

"We'll take it slow. And when it happens, we'll take it careful. I want…" Alec swallowed. "Let me make this good for you. Okay?"

Logan craned up and brushed his mouth across Alec's chin. "You already make it good for me, but…okay."

Alec felt his insides unwind. The wire down his spine uncoiled. He sagged over Logan. He felt Logan wrap his arms around his shoulders. Alec should roll off the guy because he could feel Logan sweating from being pinned between an X5 and his mattress. But Alec was feeling greedy. He wanted to feel Logan's heartbeat sing under his cheek for a few more seconds. Or a few more minutes. Maybe an hour. Or two.

The body underneath Alec stilled in sleep. Alec slipped an arm under Logan's shoulders. He gathered the other to him, tucked a leg between Logan's and shoved his nose to the flutter that flowed through Logan's jugular.

Logan murmured. His head lolled to rest on top of Alec's.

Alec's eyes burned. He found himself clutching Logan like a hard won prize.

"It will be better for you," Alec vowed into the warm satin skin of Logan's shoulder. 

Logan mumbled in his sleep, but Alec felt it was good enough.

Alec closed his eyes and slept tucked under Logan's chin, his promise to the other ringing in his ears like a lullaby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely hope this was worth the delay. I am working hard to make sure this doesn't happen again. Thank you all for your patience, your understanding and your readership.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: cursing, implied dub-con (non-graphic) and prostitution.

_He wasn't sure how to react._

_He watched the projector screen as slide after slide debriefed him on what to expect._

_Possible bleeding. Consult section 4R6 for appropriate action. Be advised any action is dependent on the status of the mission first._

_Lubrication recommended if available. Refer to Kit 1G7 if accessible._

_Never resist._

_Always agree to what the mark requests._

_Preparing for possible activity requires following Medical prep 2B9 Protocols. Kit 2B9-K must be used for the early relaxation of the sp—_

_"X-494?"_

_He blinked to adjust from the glaring overhead lights to the blinding rectangle of light shining out the open door. The other three candidates did not look away from the debrief. After all, they weren't called._

_Gray eyes searched his face, perhaps seeking a reaction, a response to the forty six card presentation. Up front, the narrative touched upon the possible toys they may encounter and how to react accordingly to avoid compromising their covers._

_The gray eyes narrowed as its face pulled into a grimace._

_"Better you than me," the gray eyes muttered under his breath. X-494 heard him anyway, but he did not respond. He stared straight ahead; he wondered why he was called but wasn't given any orders. Lydecker wouldn't waste time, but he was away in Washington and the senior staff didn't want to waste time either._

_"You're done with the refresher course?" Gray eyes asked with a look of distaste._

_He nodded. He has seen it twice before. Once with the rest of his platoon, the second time during Psy-Ops. He knew well enough to know the next slide would be discussing reading their marks' body language. Pupil dilation suggests a mark's interest. Perspiration in zones A and F indicates an increase in—_

_"You're to report to Training room B."_

_This time, 494 reacted. He canted his head a fraction._

_Gray eyes scowled. It was unclear if it was due to his infraction of commenting or due to what he told him._

_"X-276's performance was unsatisfactory. He was disqualified from the mission."_

_Behind Gray eyes, he caught the glimpse of a black body bag dragged down the corridor. It bumped a corner and made a soft, fleshy sound before it was taken further away._

_"Don't disappoint us, X-494." Gray eyes stepped to the side. "Much depends on the success of the mission."_

_"Yes sir," he said dutifully as he walked past in steady, measured steps._

_A warm hand clapped on his narrow shoulders._

_"Good boy."_

_This time, X-494 did grimace._

Alec muttered under his breath as he woke. He blinked crusty eyes until sleep evaporated. Lydecker would be pissing in his pants if he saw how lethargic their 494 were. Alec wasn't sure when he stopped going from sleep to fully awake in a blink.

Yawning, Alec squeezed his eyes shut because today, the bed was nice and firm. It was thick enough Alec couldn't feel the ground beneath or its gnarled coils. He wiggled his toes because he didn't have to sleep with his boots on. He let his back arch a little, his morning erection gently bouncing off his stomach. His mouth gaped wide as he let out another yawn. Ripples skimmed down his limbs as he stretched. He felt warm, lazy and craving pancakes. He buried his face into a shoulder.

Logan mumbled. He rolled his shoulders within Alec's embrace. He didn't pull away; he leaned until his sleep warm back pressed into Alec's chest. Smooth skin teased Alec's nipples with pressure and heat.

Alec hummed. "'orning," he said into Logan's nape. He groaned as Logan fidgeted in reply. The play of his shoulders skimmed over Alec's pecs. Alec pressed harder into Logan, his nipples straining for more skin, more Logan.

Quietly, in the dawn of day, they rocked in the bed. Logan, held carefully, swayed with Alec. His legs, tangled with Alec's, brushed across cotton smooth sheets. Their legs on sleek sheets made a shushing noise as the bed creaked under their bodies. 

Logan's arms, strong and thick yet sinuous in their grace, were braided with Alec's over his stomach. They tightened their hold forbidding Alec from letting go. As if Alec ever would.

Alec felt his erection slip between Logan's buttocks. He felt the dry skin there; the fragile, thin skin stretched over Logan's entrance.

"No," Logan rasped when Alec started pulling away. "No, it's fine…please…"

Alec exhaled slowly. He gingerly held Logan as he rolled his hips into Logan's ass, his erection weeping as it brushed up and down that vulnerable skin. Every so often, Alec felt Logan's opening catch at his cock with its puckered ring.

"I shouldn't," Alec murmured even as his hips moved with increasing speed. The bed below them groaned. "We talked about this. Loga—we…we need to wait."

Logan pushed Alec's fists down to his cock.

"Just this," Logan whispered. His head dropped back into Alec's shoulder. Feverish green eyes gazed up. "Just this."

"Do you feel it?" Alec curled a hand around Logan and began to pull in pace with his thrusts. 

"Some." It wasn't clear if Logan meant Alec's cock or his hand. Logan made a quiet moan that tiptoed down Alec's spine with hot needles. Logan murmured; breathless words that held no meaning except for want. Need.

Impossibly, Alec's dick swells even more as it stayed tuck between Logan's cheeks, rubbing and grinding. Logan's hole felt like a fingertip grazing down Alec's length. He felt engorged now, too large, too thick, too hot; aching and burning from the inside out.

"Shit," Alec gasped. He wrapped one arm around Logan's chest to lock him in place. His other hand tightened to an almost bloodless fist around Logan's cock. It felt like his fist was combating with his dick pace for pace, pull for thrust, faster and faster.

Logan uttered a quiet whine. He feebly tried to snap his hips forward then rear back. His back quivered with the effort. 

"We should stop," Alec whimpered. He hunched his lower back away, but his body seemed to have a mind of its own. His arm tugged Logan too close. His fist pumped Logan too hard. His dick ground into Logan's buttocks with too much force, too much speed, as Logan lay trapped within Alec's hold, ass tilted up as he was bent over the lab table, straps digging into the back of his thighs as trainer X-318 marched in to stand between his spread legs and—

With a jolt, Alec stopped, hands shoving Logan away as he jerked back. He caught Logan by the shoulder before the other could fall off the edge of the bed from Alec's blow, but not before the stomach dropping crashing sound.

"Fuck! Sorry! Sorry, you all right?" Alec sat up. His erection throbbed painfully as he scrambled up on the bed.

"Fine," Logan gritted out. He cupped his left eye. Alec's push had slammed him into the corner of the nightstand on his side of the bed. He groaned. He batted Alec's hands away. "No, really, I'm fin— _Alec_ , let me sit up first before hitting me again, please?"

"Not funny!" Alec snapped, but he waited until Logan situated himself against the headboard. He slapped his hands around Logan's biceps. He hissed when he pried Logan's hand away from his face. 

"That is going to be a rainbow in a few hours." Alec held up a finger. "Track it." He watched Logan's eyes squinted at the finger going left and right. 

"Look at me." Alec turned on a lamp and shone into Logan's bleary eyes. He grunted but didn't relax. "All right. Pupils even." He held out his hands to test Logan's grip. "Grab my—"

Logan's hands covered Alec's fists. He didn't squeeze them like he was supposed to. He only left his hands on top of Alec's.

Alec realized then his hands were shaking; worst than if he had skipped a few doses of tryptophan.

"Damn it." Alec yanked his fists away. He pressed them to his gritty eyes. "Fuck."

Logan said nothing. He slipped his hands over Alec's knees.

"What was it?" Logan asked. Alec flinched at the careful tone. "What did I do?"

Alec's hands dropped. He gaped at Logan. " _You_?"

"What was the trigger?"

Alec's lips pulled back. " _Trigger_? Seriously?" He fidgeted violently. Logan's hands slipped off and dropped to the bed. Almost immediately, Alec missed their heat.

Logan pursed his lips, but thankfully he didn't press. 

"I'm gonna…" Alec waved dismissively at his erection, because damn it, it didn't go away.

"Let me." Logan trailed gentle fingers down Alec's thigh.

Alec's mouth went dry. He shook his head. "You don't have to."

"I know." Logan captured an ankle and tugged Alec closer.

"I'll jerk off in the—"

"And let me miss all the fun?" Logan curled a hand around Alec's other ankle.

"Dude, I just walloped you."

"The nightstand did. Not you." Logan pulled harder, and Alec slid closer.

"Going a little caveman on me, Heather?"

"If I could throw you over my shoulders, I would."

Alec waggled his eyebrows. At Logan's expression, though, he deflated.

"Really. It's fine. I can—"

"Alec." Logan stared unblinkingly at Alec. 

The heat pooled in Alec's belly clashed with the icy vise around his throat. He met Logan's gaze, those patient green, brown, gold eyes.

Mouth dry, Alec nodded.

Slowly, Alec rose to his knees and straddled Logan's legs. He stared down at Logan, at his own flushed cock almost tapping Logan on the cheek. He cupped Logan's face; his thumb traced the patch of hurt he could feel boiling under his touch.

"If I was a better person," Alec croaked, "I would stop you." 

Logan made a pleased sound. His eyes slid shut as he— _oh God_ —nuzzled Alec's cock. Sharp stubble scorched fire down Alec's length.

Alec whimpered.

"You don't need to be better," Logan murmured as he breathed on the base of Alec's cock. He murmured pleased sounds when Alec helplessly thrust into the air shy of Logan's mouth.

"You're everything I could ever want." Dry lips ghosted from base to head. Shy puffs of air teased the sensitized skin stretched over Alec's dick.

Alec gritted his teeth. He curled his fists over the top of the headboard. He wanted to thrust. He wanted to run his erection down Logan's face and let his rough jaw prickle Alec's flesh with a thousand needles. He wanted to come all over the sleek and taut skin, smeared ownership all over Logan and lick it off those sharp cheekbones. 

Logan reached up and cupped Alec's balls. He tipped his head up, his expression thoughtful. He stroked Alec's length with agonizingly slow strokes. Before Alec could protest or offer to retreat to the bathroom again, Logan's lips parted.

"Shit," Alec stuttered as he slipped into Logan's mouth. 

Alec could feel the cock's head heavy on Logan's tongue. The room spun. Logan's mouth was dry but still unbelievably hot. Alec could feel saliva gathering in Logan's mouth. He felt Logan's tongue curling at the sides, wrapping around the flushed tip and—

"Jesus!" Alec gripped the headboard to stop from thrusting. Logan suckled the head of Alec's cock with flicks of his tongue. The tip of his tongue lingered on the cock's slit. Velvety, liquid hot texture wiggled as if trying to burrow into Alec's dick.

Alec heard himself swearing, gasping, moaning as Logan leisurely licked and worked his way down the length. His hands, his beautiful fingers with their blunt tips, the callus on his index finger just shy of too rough, stroked Alec. His fingers danced as if they flew over a keyboard, pressing and gliding up the flushed length. Logan slipped the tip of his finger into his mouth. Alec watched, his own mouth slack, breath caught as Logan pushed his finger in deeper, pulled it out to linger on his lower lip and pushed it back in again. Lips stretched around the cock and finger.

"God, you look…" Alec rasped, his voice wrecked. Hell, _he_ felt wrecked. All of his nerves gathered at the base of his cock. He _ached_. He stooped over Logan, his thighs gripping Logan's sides, his buttocks quivering as he fought not to thrust. Because he wanted to thrust; thrust up into that boiling cavern. He wanted to slide into that beautiful throat stretched up in a strong line. He wanted to spill into that beautiful body and watch Logan swallow every drop before Alec fucked that gorgeous mouth again and again, deeper, and possess Logan's breath wispy against his skin as he breathed through his nose. Fuck, Logan felt like molten fire around him; liquid heat that boiled his skin, the pressure around the weeping head so perfect, so relentless—

Logan relaxed his jaw, took a deep breath and…

" _Logan_ ," Alec moaned. He dropped his head forward to the wall as he felt himself sliding down, down, down. He sank into that incredible heat. 

Logan swallowed, and the muscles squeezed around Alec. Pressure grew behind Alec's eyes as Logan switched from the light, teasing suction to a ruthless one.

"Christ," Alec swore as he swayed into Logan's mouth. "You're…fuck…I…"

A thrumming brewed at the joints of Alec's hips. His knees shook. His elbows threatened to fold. He looked down at Logan, at his rough cheeks hollowed out as he did his best to take all of Alec in. Logan's eyes were closed as his lips shrank around Alec's dick like a band, tongue massaging Alec, trapping his cock between his tongue and the roof of his mouth. Logan's head bobbed slightly, his Adam's Apple moved, his cheeks flushed as he sucked what felt like Alec's tainted DNA through his bones. 

Logan's eyes opened. They languidly rolled up to Alec.

A sharp twist to Alec's balls surged him forward in surprise. Logan gagged briefly as the head abruptly hit the back of his throat. He went back to pulling everything out of Alec's through his dick.

Alec choked. Logan's mouth…Oxygen seemed to have fled the bedroom. He felt numb and tingly at the same time.

A calloused finger brushed over the stretched tight skin of Alec's perineum. It paused when Alec tensed, but it travelled no further to his ass. It made tiny circles on the spot instead. Over and over, skimming in one stroke, massaging and pressing the next.

Alec could feel the pressure growing from the base of his cock. He tried to ease out, but Logan clamped one hand on Alec's thigh, another back to his balls. Alec keened as both hands began rubbing and squeezing; kneading his sac and leg like a lump of clay.

"Wait, I— _fuck_ —I'm going to, babe, I'm going to—"

Logan didn't stop. He blinked up heavy lidded at Alec and in fact, increased his suctions. Obscene wet sounds filled Alec's ears.

Something snapped inside Alec. He felt a growl at the base of his throat. He pried one hand off the now splintered headboard. He curled it over the back of Logan's head; possessive and demanding. 

Logan hummed and tried to get the rest of Alec in.

Alec rolled up his hips, deeper into that squeezing sensation. Drool escaped the corner of Logan's mouth. Alec gave a little thrust.

Mouth stretched around Alec's cock, Logan made a little moan and worked fervently to take in another inch. His Adam's Apple bobbed as his jaw flexed.

Alec tugged at the unruly hair as he rocked his hips forward. He gave a little push, his cock pressing and curling back Logan's upper lip as it slipped in deeper. Logan increased suction in response.

A band shrank around Alec's head, threatening to pop as the sounds of Logan suckling and swallowing Alec took over the growing buzzing in Alec's ears. With a whine, Alec swayed forward again. And again.

A tentative pace quickly dissolved to a frantic one. Alec held Logan's head still with a clawed hand, the other on Logan's shoulder to remind himself not to go too hard, not too deep. And he tried. Fuck, he tried. Alec aborted the deeper thrusts, and his lower back strained from the effort. He kept it slow, careful. He trembled with the effort not to snatch up what was Logan offering and fuck his fill of that glorious mouth.

It didn't help Logan took Alec's cock with such noisy enthusiasm. Muffled moaning was barely audible behind Alec's babbling. Yes, Alec was babbling because Logan's mouth. His _mouth_.

While Alec fucked Logan's mouth with a desperate hand on Logan's shoulder to rein himself, Logan cradled and tortured Alec's balls with one hand. The other hand was curled around the back of Alec's thigh. He periodically pulled the limb towards him; he ground his chest against Alec's leg with a friction that left parts of his chest red.

Alec chanted Logan's name as he thrust into Logan's mouth. A warm knot grew in his tailbone and seemed to swell up and down his cock, growing, boiling him inside out.

"Logan," Alec gasped, and it was all the warning he could manage before he came forcefully down Logan's throat.

Logan started, easing back, unable to swallow so much come, but before Alec could slip free, Logan tugged at Alec's balls as he engulfed the twitching cock again to valiantly drink every drop.

Alec groaned. Logan looked filthy with streaks of come on his chin, lips pursed and pink around a cock still hard even after coming. He fisted Logan's hair harder. 

_Mine_. 

Alec ran his hands over Logan's face and wiped the line of come dribbling out of the corner of Logan's mouth.

Logan murmured at Alec's touch but kept sucking, milking Alec dry. Unfortunately, the silken wet sensation reignited Alec's cock.

"Oh God, stop, stop, stop," Alec groaned. He grabbed Logan by the chin, halting him. Alec sort of hates himself right now. He slipped free. He nearly comes to the vision of his cock sliding free of Logan's pink lips, glistening white streaks lingering.

"If you keep this up, _I'll_ get it up and seriously, this could go all day." Alec swooped in and crushed his mouth to Logan's. He moaned at the taste, _his_ taste, lingering on Logan's tongue. Alec gripped the back of Logan's head again. He wrapped legs around Logan's torso and pulled him down to the bed.

Tongues and teeth battled. Hands greedily smoothed over skin. Alec kissed like he devoured: swallowing every exhale, tongue darting in for every taste, teeth nibbling until Logan cried out into Alec's mouth.

"You," Alec growled, but he couldn't say anything more as he gripped Logan's cock. He pulled until it felt like he was physically ripping each breathless, hungry moan out of Logan's body.

Logan tasted like Alec everywhere. Alec's come left streaks on Logan's throat, splattered on his chest, pooled in the dips and valleys of his clavicle. Alec cleaned every inch with his tongue. He brought Logan off with a double fist. And as Logan writhed in his orgasm, Alec breached him with one, then two fingers and crushed Logan to the mattress as he brought Logan back to the edge until Logan begged to be finished off once more.

Watching Logan as he came was a heady feeling. He watched the clever words disintegrate into needy sounds. He watched those clever hands flail in the air, curling, reaching, clutching. He watched Logan's tensed posture reduce to the boneless slump Alec enjoyed gathering up and tuck against him. 

Logan shuddered as Alec coaxed him to completion. He trembled inside Alec's arms until the last of his orgasm faded away. He sleepily gave his already softening cock a glance before looking away, his throat working.

Alec dropped a kiss on Logan's brow, his nose, his cheeks until those green eyes cleared and tilted up to him instead.

"Thank you," Alec murmured. He trailed a finger down Logan's cock. It was velvety soft. He petted it on its head. He weighed it in his cupped palm. "Every time you come…" Alec wiggled down and dropped a kiss above Logan's groin. He blew softly at the dark hairs.

"You always looked so amazing," Alec whispered. "I'll never tire of watching you come like that."

"Funny," Logan countered hoarsely, "I was going to say the same thing about you." 

Alec dropped tiny kisses up Logan's stomach, his throat and finally back up to Logan's mouth.

"I taste me." Alec ran his thumb over the seam of Logan's lips.

"I do too." Logan carded Alec's hair.

Alec stared at Logan's flushed face. His scrutiny drifted up to Logan's eye. The skin was already a mottled red and purple stain stretched over a puffy eye. He grimaced.

"I'm sorry."

"I know." Logan settled a hand on Alec's back. He tugged Alec to settle over him.

"I'm sorry," Alec repeated, his cheek over Logan's heart. He lifted his head. He traced the outer edge of a purpling bruise with a shaky finger. He opened his mouth. He shut it again. He sucked in his breath.

"It…before…it wasn't you." Alec dropped his eyes. He brushed his hand across Logan's chest.

"I know." Logan dropped an arm around Alec's shoulders. 

The bedroom was quiet save for their breathing. Alec stayed half draped over Logan, cheek over the other's heart, his hands absently mapping out the defined muscles of Logan's stomach.

Logan's chest rose and fell under Alec. He said nothing, but Alec could sense the contemplative look sent his way.

"X-5s…" Alec exhaled in a whoosh. "They trained us for all possible scenarios."

Logan was silent. His arm stayed loose around Alec.

"It's training. It's not fun, never is, but..." Alec turned his head. He stared hard at the skin stretched over Logan's navel. He studied the sparse dark hairs that pointed to Logan's groin.

Alec shrugged. "I can't say I didn't make use of their trainingeither. It gets the job done. It was useful when I left, too." And kept his pockets full of rolled up bills. 

"Did they hurt you?" 

Alec wasn't sure if Logan was asking about Manticore or his various Fifties and Hundreds. 

"Only hurts if you don't prepare for it."

Logan's arm tightened around Alec.

Alec exhaled sharply. "I'm not—it wasn't like I was…" He sat up to lean against Logan's shoulder; his knee pressed into Logan's side. He lifted a shoulder.

"It was for the missions."

"The missions," Logan repeated evenly. He struggled up on his elbows. "Alec."

"Stop," Alec said sharply. "I'm not trying to get your sympathy or make excuses; I'm only trying to explain why sometimes there are certain things that don't get my rocks off. Don't make this a big deal."

"Don't make this—" Logan pulled himself up to the headboard. He scrubbed his face with his hands. 

"Alec, what they did was—"

"Was what every custom build X-5 had to learn," Alec cut in firmly. He glared at Logan. "You once said I didn't have to talk about any of this if I didn't want to."

Logan made a face. His shoulders sagged. "I did."

Alec relaxed a little. "Well, I don't. All right? Because it happened. Done. I passed their version of sex education 101. I graduated from Manticore. The end." Alec rolled his eyes. "We're cooked up to be adaptable and fast learners. I learned. I adapted. X-494 upgraded to two point—"

"Stop referring yourself as…" Logan gripped Alec's ankle. "You're not their creation."

"There's a test tube somewhere out there that says otherwise."

"All right. They had a hand in your birth, but what made you _you_ wasn't just…" Logan's expression twisted.

Alec's throat shrank around the words he tried to spit out. They came out harsher than they should have.

"You can say it: we're made of guns, blood and sex. That nursery rhythm about puppy tails and sugar and spice? Completely bogus."

Logan stared at Alec, dismayed.

"That's not what I was going to say."

"Why not?" It felt like Alec needed to _push_ the words out. His eyes burned with the effort. "I think that's the recipe Manticore used to make us. All those years spent training—"

"You don't have to take everything they forced on you and dismiss it as _training_. It's clear it was a traumatiz—"

Alec snorted. "Seriously? You want to go there?"

Logan waved towards his own face.

Alec looked away. "I said I was sorry." He clutched the sheets under him. 

"I'm not traumatized, boo hoo, woe is me, find the highest building to leap off from. I dealt with it and moved on. All right? I'm out there. Surviving. Living. At least, I'm not hiding in my fancy penthouse." Immediately, Alec inwardly grimaced. 

Logan stilled. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Alec set his mouth. "Nothing." He squirmed to slide off the bed. "I should—"

Logan sat up higher. 

"Alec," Logan called out. "Don't."

Alec's feet dangled over the edge of the bed. He stared at them and the carpet. When Logan called out his name again, Alec blew out through his nose. He directed his answer to the carpet underneath him.

"I'm saying I've dealt with whatever shit you think I'm not handling while you're still lurking in the damn shadows."

"I'm not an agoraphobic. I go out."

Alec scoffed. "Sure. For _Eyes Only_." 

"That's not true." Logan's protest sounded feeble. Alec knew Logan heard it as well because he fell silent after that.

Alec took a steadying breath. He twisted around to face Logan.

"When do you ever go out for fun?"

"Fun?" Logan said it like it was a new word. He pronounced it haltering and with an arched eyebrow. "Alec, we're living in a post Pulse world. The life I knew all my life has been chopped up, auctioned off and shipped away. No one can afford _fun_ anymore."

"Bullshit." 

"How is this suddenly about me?" Logan demanded. He stared disbelievingly at Alec. 

"It's always been about you!" Alec froze.

Logan gaped at Alec like a rabbit caught under a hawk's hungry intent. He tried to speak, failed and he glanced away.

"I don't see how what you went through has anything to do with me."

It didn't. Yet it did. Alec's mouth soured as he imagined himself _training_ Logan, strapped in so he wouldn't struggle, cameras observing to compare 494's refractory time to 417 and 498's.

"I'm not saying it does," Alec managed. He took a deep breath. "But I know better than you what to expect if we—"

" _When_ we."

God, Alec wished Logan didn't look so determined. He smiled tightly and nodded.

"Right. When. Look, I don't talk about it because it doesn't bother me, but there were times…" Alec gestured towards Logan's bruised face. "We do stuff that kind of reminds me of what I had to do and it gets me thinking about what I might be doing to you and…" He swallowed.

"… _that_ bothers me." Alec held up a hand at Logan's expression. 

"Don't ask me what kind of stuff."

Logan exhaled softly. "Alec, I want to help you, but I don't know how unless you tell me." 

"What is there to help?" Alec waved his hands in the air. "Am I sending out SOSs here?"

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose. When he winced, though, something in Alec's gut squirmed. 

"I know I said when you're ready," Logan said in a defeated voice, "but why am I getting the feeling you're not going to tell me ever?"

Alec's shoulders slumped.

"Isn't what you already know about me enough?" Alec asked, his throat working. "Why fuck this up with full disclosure?"

Logan wrapped a hand around Alec's nape. He drew Alec in until their foreheads touched.

"Nothing you tell me will change this," Logan murmured. 

Alec blinked rapidly. 

"I want to keep this," Alec whispered within their huddled bodies.

Logan tipped up his head and dropped a kiss on Alec's brow.

"Me too."

"I…telling you stuff is not going to reboot me, you know."

"I'm not asking you to change. Just asking to know."

Alec scoffed. "This is an _Eyes Only_ thing, right? You journalists are always nosey."

"No. This is a Logan Cale thing."

Alec's retort died. "Oh." 

Logan's breath teased the tip of Alec's nose. It was slow and steady; patient and undemanding. Alec felt a pang at the base of his throat. He couldn't tell if it was an ache to tell Logan or an ache to not. 

Alec ran the tip of his tongue across Logan's lips. There was a lingering bitterness from Logan's mouth, from Logan's lips pursed tight around his cock. 

Logan gently rocked his forehead left and right against Alec's. He murmured meaningless sounds; they slipped under Alec's skin and slowly unfurled. Tendrils of warmth seeped out over Alec's skin.

Alec wished they could stay bent into each other like this forever. And right now, right here, Alec knew if he asked, Logan would keep them this way. Somehow that made it easier to speak.

"I…" Alec reluctantly pulled back. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Tell you what, if you do this one thing for me, I'll…I'll come clean. With everything. All the sordid details you've been imagining."

"I'll do it." Logan didn't even pause.

Alec mentally floundered, taken aback by the quick response.

"Oh. Uh, cool. Great. Super." Alec's nape itched like a bitch. He said the first thing that popped into his head.

"Friday. Four nights from now. Er…Nine o'clock at _Crash_. You. Me. Billiards table. A couple of beers. Then dinner. But not back at your place, though. _Outside_." Alec pulled back and caught Logan's startled expression. "A date."

"A d-date?" Logan glanced down at his lap. His mouth set and he lifted his eyes.

"All right."

Alec's smile faltered at the pinched expression. He almost took it back. He reached over and grabbed Logan's hands.

"Hey." Alec peered up at Logan's face. "We've been kind of doing things in reverse, you know?" He grinned lopsidedly when the corners of Logan's mouth lifted. "According to Original Cindy, people get naked _after_ a date."

Logan huffed out an unsteady laugh. He smiled tightly.

"So…nine then?" 

Alec grinned. "It's a date, Heather."

Logan abruptly shoved Alec off the bed.

"What the hell?" Alec yelped.

Logan arched an eyebrow over the edge of the bed. "We were doing it backwards after all," he said wryly. "We should hold off until _after_ the date."

Alec gaped up at Logan. "Are you kidding me? You already showed me like your ankle and everything."

"Well, our first date and all." Logan leaned back to the headboard. He blinked when he noticed the cracked wood above him. He leaned over the bed edge and glowered at Alec.

"You know," Alec pointed out hastily. He made a face because bare ass on the carpet? Ew. "Technically, our first date? Was the dinner thing we had here. And our last date? That was the fancy finger food dinner thing at your uncle's." Whoops. Mentioning back-stabbing, money greedy, betraying uncle slash father figure? Probably a buzzkill.

Surprisingly, Logan only sounded amused when he murmured. "No. I suppose you're right."

Alec growled as he crawled up the bed, his eyes intent on Logan's chest.

Logan laughed when a lapful of Alec tumbled him back down to the bed. 

 

"When you paged me," Sung said, "I was expecting something else." He sat down on the trunk of his car. He mournfully looked at the wrapped gyro with extra sauce in his hands. 

Alec chuckled awkwardly. His bike creaked as it edged up the curb before rolling back. The once vibrant park's cobblestones were hell on bike tires. Inside his _Jam Pony_ bag, his work pager buzzed. Alec ignored it. He zeroed in on Sung. 

"Come on. You're married. Don't you know any food place that's—I don't know…datish?"

"Datish?" Sung repeated. He gave Alec the stink-eye. It made him look constipated. Not that Alec was going to tell the detective that. Not when Alec was hoping Sung wouldn't be stingy with his intel.

"You know, where two people go eat before they get naked for desser—"

Sung frantically waved his hands at Alec in a macho version of the _Ew, oh my God, no_ gesture.

Alec sighed loudly. "You're like a thousand years older than me. You can't be squeamish about sex."

"Only if it's sex with you."

Alec perked up. "You had fantasies about having sex with me? _Ooh_. But what will the missus say?"

Sung gave Alec a blistering look.

"Nothing. She'll just shoot you."

Alec smirked.

Sung slumped. He hefted his freebie lunch.

"What?"

"I thought you and Logan were already…" Sung fidgeted.

"Logan and I what? Got naked? Got raunchy? Did the down and dirty?"

Hands flailed towards Alec again.

"Okay, seriously? You're like a thousand and five. The birds and the bees shouldn't be shocking." Alec grinned. "Or is that the bees and the bees?"

Sung appeared tempted to throw a perfectly good gyro at Alec. "I'm thirty-four," he growled.

" _Wow_ , I was only kidding about the thousand years old thing."

Sung grumbled. "And how old are you? Two?"

"Har har. Who knows? We don't mark our years with cake and balloons. I could be sixteen or sixty." Alec paused. "Er, don't tell Logan that. His Holiness might start feeling like he's a perv in either direction."

Sung gave Alec a weird look.

"What? Did you think we were sitting in his bedroom playing Canasta every night?"

Sung shook his head.

" _What?_ "

"I didn't know…" Sung roughly shook his head again. "Never mind."

Alec was starting to wish he asked Original Cindy instead. "Well?" he demanded. "Do you know any place that won't give him food poisoning, the people aren't condescending a-holes and is wheelchair accessible?"

Sung smiled faintly. "Ah."

Alec threw up his hands. Seriously, he was taking back the gyro.

Sung went over to Alec. He clapped Alec on the arm. Alec blankly looked down at his arm.

"I may know a place," Sung said, smiling.

 

The tea kettle missed Alec by an inch. 

"Hey!"

"Why are you breaking into Original Cindy's place again?" Cindy demanded. Her arm was still up, ready to throw the iron next.

Alec grinned brightly from his casual lean against her bedroom door. "You're home early. Is River was staying the night today?"

Cindy's expression shuddered. The iron lowered. "No," she said shortly.

"No?"

"As in never ever."

Alec's face fell. "Uh oh." He glanced over to her kitchenette. 

"Sake?"

"Sake," Cindy confirmed. She stomped over to her cabinets. Pottery rattled as she yanked down sake and teabags. She set them on the countertop with more force than necessary. 

Alec dragged over her makeshift table to the center and rearranged her patched up beanbag. He smoothed down a fraying corner of duct tape. He'll need to break in next time and fix that. He set the crinkly plastic bag down with a _thump_.

"What you got for us?" Cindy asked warily when she came over with her booze and his tea.

Alec sniffed the light scent of jasmine wafting out of the chipped green striped mug he started to think of as his. It reminded him of far away flowers and fresh cut wood. He curled both hands around the mug and gestured with it towards the bag of food.

"Dinner," Alec announced. "Chinese food from _Wonton Square_. On Howard and Pice?"

Cindy hummed her approval. When she peered into the bag, however, her approval turned into shock.

"We can't eat all of that!"

"What? The three of us?" Alec said innocently. He chortled when Cindy waved a threatening hand towards him. "I'll give Phil the leftovers. The guy could stand to eat something else besides burritos."

Cindy wrinkled her nose as she plucked up a small carton. Garlic and chili flakes flooded out of the container in a steamy escape for their MSG lives.

"Five spice chicken," Alec supplied. "Real chicken too."

Cindy pulled out the next two containers.

"The one that smells like citrus is Orange Beef. That weird shape box is tofu. Er, that box you just took out is some sort of mystery meat. But a lot of people were ordering it."

"It smells like feet!"

"Maybe it's a delicacy?"

Cindy pulled out more and more pint sized containers and foil wrapped packages. Her elegant eyebrow arched higher and higher. Alec squirmed as her tiny table filled.

Done, Cindy considered everything on the table. She folded her arms in front of her, blocking Alec's admiration of the low cut sparkly pink tank stretched over her chest. Her brown eyes flicked left and right as she counted.

When Cindy's count reached ten, she dragged her scrutiny to Alec.

Alec bared his teeth in a grin. Cindy's expression didn't twitch; Alec squirmed.

"I didn't know what you'd like so I got a little bit of everything."

Cindy pursed her mouth.

"I was getting tired of raiding Logan's fridge for leftovers, you know. And the daily breakfast burrito with Phil was getting old. One week, I belched and tasted eggs and refried beans the whole day. I think Herbal thought I was puffing it up with his Jah."

Cindy shifted her weight, her left hip tilted up.

"You know whenever you do that, your left boob looks kind of bigger than the right. Cockeyed boobs are a real turn off." Alec grabbed a pagoda stamped grease stained carton. "Do you want some orange beef?"

Cindy's eyes flicked to the offered food and floated back up to Alec.

The carton wavered in mid-air.

"You're not going vegan on me again, are you? Because last time, I was farting alfalfa sprouts all week."

When Cindy still didn't react, Alec sighed. Loudly.

"Can you at least try the food and tell me which ones won't kill your stomach?" Alec stared glumly at the crowded table. "I'm pretty much customized to eat anything and survive, but some guys are pickier eaters. Some of this stuff might not be as tasty as I think."

The narrow eyed look softened.

"Ah," Cindy murmured.

"Okay, what is up with that? Sung said the same thing."

Like a switch, Cindy's amused little smile flipped to a scowl.

"You went to the detective man before you came to Original Cindy?"

"No! I mean…maybe?" Alec's smile faltered. He held up another container in front of him.

"I think this one could be Logan's favorite?"

Cindy heaved a sigh.

"Give us those chopsticks."

Alec beamed. He plucked a paper wrapped pair out of the bag. He separated the pieces down the seam with an easy _snap_. Cindy snatched the chopsticks from his extended hand. She didn't appear impressed when Alec whined about splinters.

Cartons were swapped, vetoed, tried again before Alec dared to speak up.

"Thanks."

"Shut up and give us your damn fortune cookie."

"What? You already ate yours!" 

 

Alec reached Logan's wheelchair in three steps the moment he spotted the reddening mark all the way from his window. 

"What happened?" Alec demanded as he crouched down for a better look. He caught Logan by the chin when he reached him. "Who the hell did this?" 

"It's nothing," Logan grumbled. He tolerated Alec turning his head left and right one turn before brushing his hands away. "I'm all right."

"You said you were meeting with your uncle for lunch. You said you didn't need any of us to—" Alec stilled. The size of the injured flesh in proportion to Jonas's size rattled around Alec's head like an equation. The total he got made his vision flare white hot.

A growl erupted as Alec rose to his feet.

Logan's hand whipped out and grabbed Alec's wrists.

"Don't," Logan said. His grip tightened. "Alec, we talked. It got heated and Uncle Jonas…" Logan shrugged. "I think he was more shocked than I was when he slapped me." He smiled bitterly. "The Cales aren't normally so crass."

Alec stood there, his chest heaving. Distantly, he acknowledged Logan was right. It was nothing; the mark would fade in a day under a regimen of ice. But something boiled under his skin, threatening to burst free the longer he stared at the mark. His knees and elbows wanted to lock in place and brace to strike at something or someone. He was about to shake off Logan's hand when Logan yanked hard enough to rock Alec a step back.

"All right, all right," Alec relented. He dropped back to the carpet by Logan's chair. He took a deep breath.

"Alec…"

"I know. I won't." Alec gazed up at Logan and the red bloomed on the other's cheek. It was under the fading yellowish bruises of Logan's eye. His chest thudded with a pang that momentarily left him breathless.

"Ah hell, Heather." With a huff, Alec settled his head on Logan's lap and breathed deep. 

Above Alec, Logan stilled. A beat later, his hands tentatively dropped on Alec's head.

Alec soaked in the feel of Logan's fingers carding through his hair in careful strokes as if searching for something. He slipped his arms around Logan's middle, but he was careful not to pull him off his chair. Alec wanted to carry Logan down to the carpet and run his hands over every inch of skin to make sure they weren't purpled and hurt either. Instead, he kept his arms around Logan and felt Logan breathe quietly by his ear.

"Should have taken one of us with you," Alec mumbled. He blinked drowsily as Logan's fingers dug into his scalp in tiny, soothing circles.

"That should be interesting," Logan said wryly. "In the middle of the salad course, after I accused my uncle of throwing his only son to the wolves and just before he slaps me, Phil bounces in and talk him to death."

Alec buried his smirk on Logan's knee. "Yeah, you might have a point there." He rubbed the small of Logan's back. He absently wondered how much of it Logan felt. He tilted his head up and saw his answer in the sight of Logan's eyes sliding shut, his body sagging back to press into Alec's hands.

"What happened?" Alec said into Logan's jeans. He buried the question there so it could be heard or ignored.

The fingers exploring Alec's hair paused.

"It's like I said," Logan said lightly. Alec wasn't fooled. "I told my uncle he was a bastard for using his son Bennett as a sacrificial lamb for his own profit; he said I was betraying everything the Cale family worked for."

Logan said Cale family like it was only a name read in a newspaper. His voice breezed through the name a little too fast. 

Alec tugged Logan carefully towards the edge of the wheelchair. He burrowed into Logan's stomach and breathed deep. 

"This is it," Logan murmured. "The point of no return."

For some reason, Logan didn't sound like he was referring to his uncle.

Alec's arms tightened around Logan and stayed there, steadily breathing and pretending he didn't feel Logan's fingers shaking as they brushed against Alec's ear.

 

_"T-thank you."_

_He fashioned a smirk despite how he ached. He rolled the six hundred and tucked it into his front pocket. It took two tries. Today. Today, he can finally find that wizened bastard Ju in Chinatown and get his stash of tryptophan._

_Hundred shakily peeled the condom off his dick. He gave it a faint look of disgust as he let it drop on the pavement. He didn't give it a second glance as he struggled to pat himself back into appearing like the hard working loyal husband and father of two. His cell, most likely his wife, rang twice. Hundred didn't pick up because he was preoccupied._

_494, on the other hand, tracked where the evidence had landed. He noted the location so he could toss a match to it later. He needed to destroy whatever DNA was there. He wan—needed to remove any proof he was here, in this filthy and dark alley, accepting money for something he swore he would never do again because it had been six days on a third of a dose and he was three hundred twenty short._

_"Will you be here again?" The slyness Hundred acted was gone and the voice has higher, anxious and hungry._

_He shrugged in reply. It was better for business than a definite "Oh hell, no." The tryptophan will run out again soon._

_A well-manicured hand reached out. 494 stared at it, momentarily mystified at the smooth hand of an elite._

_"I…thank you. I know I asked before and you always said no. Really, it was a, that is, it was great, I—h-here."_

_Something crumpled was pressed into his hand. The Hundred stumbled away as if he feared it would be given back._

_He stared down numbly at the fifty in his hand. He curled his fingers around it and felt it sharp and biting in his palm. It was new, crisp and—he squinted at it and snorted._

_Yup. Counterfeit._

_He shifted his weight to his other foot to ease the ache he tried to ignore in his lower back. He crumpled up the fifty and jammed it down with the rest of his money. Someone out there would be too greedy to check it closely. He rolled his shoulders back. He grimaced. He ached all over and his fingers trembled as he did up his jeans._

_Fuck it, he was taking the day off._

_The flame had scalded his fingers before he dropped it on the discarded condom. It burned red then blue, shriveling until it was a black, wrinkled wad of nothing. He stared at it until the flame died. He glanced to his left, to his right and left._

_A few minutes later he came back and stomped his boot on the remains over and over until the evidence disintegrated away._

 

Alec didn't want to move.

There was a moment, between dreaming (remembering) and waking when things get sort of…mixed up. He felt…things in places he knew he shouldn't, yet he could also feel the body fitted against him warm and solid and _Logan_. He was left with his limbs locked; torn between trying to escape and burrowing closer.

Muscles eventually released him from the semi-waking paralysis. Phantom aches retreated back into memory where they belonged. But the tacky, gross and crawling sensation lingered. Because dreams (memories) were fucked up like that.

Alec buried his face into Logan's shoulders. He pulled his hands in over Logan's stomach and drew him closer. He crossed his ankles, tucking Logan's chilled toes against his calves. 

Logan mumbled. He wiggled, body sluggish because it recognized it was still too early in the morning.

Alec turned, resting his cheek on Logan's nape. He breathed at the knot at the base of the skull.

Logan's shoulders shook. A drowsy snort followed.

An eyebrow arched, Alec smirked. He pursed his lips and blew on that clean patch of skin again.

Logan squirmed.

Smile broadening, Alec's tongue flicked and licked tiny circles on the skin.

"All right! All right!" Logan chuckled as he swallowed back what suspiciously sounded like a giggle. Which only made Alec want to hear it again; he pressed forward his attack. Logan was laughing now, fidgeting to pull his neck away from the assault, laughing too hard to succeed. He ended up rolled onto his back. 

The teasing touches became grappling as hands skimmed, petted, stroked. Mouths retaliated hot on each other's skin. Names were murmured and hung sacred in the air above them.

Alec dropped over Logan with his head on Logan's heaving chest. He grinned up at the flushed face.

"Morning." Alec's thumb rubbed over a nipple, massaging the dark circle until the nub hardened in response. His eyes slanted up. Logan's breath quickened under Alec; his eyes fixed on Alec's face.

"Morning," Logan whispered. He smiled; a sloppy, tiny curve on lips still slack with sleep. His face was pink on the side he slept on, his eyes were a rare jade and unguarded under a messy fringe of bangs. Logan looked different at the edges of the day: still dazed with sleep and not sobered with his damning sense of responsibility. It was a different Logan lying next to Alec; a Logan Alec was confident Logan never showed anyone else.

Alec's stomach did a little flip. He caught himself staring long enough that his eyes burned; like staring up at the sun too long. His face felt overly warm, his eyes smarting at the corners and yet he stole one more look to commit it to memory.

"What time is it?" Logan yawned as he propped himself up on his elbows.

"Time for pancakes," Alec announced as he stretched. His arms reached past his head. He wiggled his fingers closest to Logan's face. He barked out a laugh when Logan tried to nip them.

"Again?" Logan remarked. 

"This time, I want to try the ones with banana," Alec decided. He arched his body, hands reaching, reaching, reaching. He ruffled through Logan's hair. He grinned when Logan sputtered.

"You really need a haircut. You're looking more like a Heather every day." Alec's eyes glazed over. "You ever thought about wearing women's un—"

"No." Logan vetoed Alec's brilliant idea with a hasty 'No' and wide, mortified eyes.

Alec snorted. "Come on! A little lacey thing, maybe wrapped around your cock?" He rolled to sit up against the headboard. He watched Logan do the same. He leaned in to meet Logan's mouth. He puckered up exaggeratedly. When he talked through it, his voice came out like a strangled squeaky mouse.

"Maybe something with satin?" Alec suggested or tried.

Logan made a sound that came off both bemused and exasperated. "I don't think that's how you wear—" He stilled; his mouth was a hair's breadth away from Alec's mouth. 

Alec's pursed lips smoothed out. He caught Logan's swallow; the other's eyes dimmed in front of him.

"What's the matter?" Alec reached out and cupped Logan's elbow. He was startled to feel Logan minutely flinch. "Is it your back?"

"No. Uh…back's fine." Logan flashed Alec a quick smile; it looked pained. It only made Alec's insides knot further. 

"Hey." Alec moved to grip Logan's wrist now. "Seriously, what is it?"

"I, uh, I need to brush my teeth." Logan averted his gaze. His eyes were dark with an emotion Alec didn't like. 

Alec sat up further. "Your morning breath never bothered me before." He exhaled into his cupped hands. He grimaced. If anything, _he_ should be fleeing to a toothbrush, stat. 

Logan's face contorted. "Not my morning breath." He sagged back into the headboard. All traces of the small smile were gone. He waved jerkily towards his legs.

Alec looked over his shoulder. 

Oh.

Logan tugged the covers higher over his lap, but not before Alec caught the sight of his erection flushed and pink, curved up from his groin. 

Alec traced the top edge of the blanket. He hooked a finger into the covers and pulled.

"It happens sometimes," Alec murmured. 

Logan's hands held on the covers tighter when Alec tugged. "Only sometimes." His voice was unsteady. "Let me deal with it like I always do."

"Go into the bathroom and ignore it until it goes away?" Alec yanked harder. He could have torn the cover out of Logan's death grip, but he held back when he saw the whitened knuckles.

"It goes away," Logan said bitterly. "It always does."

Alec stopped trying to take the blanket. "I hear you in the bathroom, you know." He dropped a hand to Logan's covered groin.

The blanket hitched higher, past Logan's navel. He looked faintly ill.

"Oh," Logan managed weakly.

"You don't always ignore it."

Logan's face contorted. He looked tempted to deny it. He glanced up at Alec. His shoulders slumped.

"No," Logan admitted in a hoarse voice. "But it goes away quickly once I deal with it." He let go of the covers. 

"I can hear how you _deal_ with it." Alec's throat bobbed. There were times he wanted to kick down the bathroom door and stop Logan. 

"Look, morning wood is just—"

"Biology?" Logan smiled self-deprecatingly. He gestured towards Alec. 

Alec shook his head. "Okay, in the mornings, when I'm up, I'm usually _up_." For once, he was grateful for his _dreams_ ; his dick hung limp between his legs when he woke this morning. 

"But…" Alec waved between them. His insides knotted. "If it bothered you, we, I mean, you didn't have to help me—"

"Yours didn't bother me," Logan hastened to say. " _Mine_ did." He gripped Alec's hand and gave it a shake. "Alec, I enjoy doing that for you." 

Logan's hold on Alec's hand was almost bloodless. His voice thickened with an urgency Alec didn't understand. 

"Alec." Logan leaned into Alec. He stared into Alec's eyes. "You didn't make me do anything I didn't want. Really."

Alec sharply exhaled; he was surprised to realize his chest had tightened with the thought of every morning he rolled Logan onto his back and forced him to…He gulped back the bile he felt bubbling in the back of his throat.

"Alec?" Logan's tone sharpened; it drew Alec back to anxious eyes.

"Yeah." Alec shook his head. The room settled around him; the walls retreated back. "I…yeah…good. Great."

Logan's hands loosened around Alec's.

Alec's thumb brushed over Logan's knuckles.

"It wouldn't have bothered me to help you." Alec pulled Logan's hands to his lips. He kissed each digit before letting go. "Better than hearing you…" He made a face as he made a fist. He punched the air in short, rough jabs. His gut clenched in memory. He lowered his hands at Logan's expression.

"Like I said, I could hear you." 

"You never said." Logan dropped his eyes.

"I was waiting for you to tell me why you would rather hurt yourself in the bathroom getting yourself off than letting me help you."

"I'm not hurting myself."

"Babe, sometimes you come out of there _bruised_." Alec slipped an arm around Logan. He exhaled when Logan slumped against him. 

"Sometimes I can't tell," Logan said. His tone was nonchalant, but Alec wasn't fooled. His arm moved down to wrap around Logan's middle. 

"You feel something," Alec reminded him. "Whenever I…"

Logan said nothing.

Alec's arm curled around Logan tighter. "You do, right?"

"I don't know." 

" _You don't know_?" Alec's arm slacked as he stared; something cold well deep in his chest.

"No, that didn't come out right. I…" Logan slumped into Alec. He rubbed the arm around him. "I do feel something with you, Alec. I feel—God—I feel so much."

Alec watched Logan blink rapidly in the dark, but he doubted Logan was trying to focus on anything in particular.

"What do you feel when you do it?" Alec prodded.

Logan closed his eyes, his expression contorting as if in physical pain.

"I feel it in my hands and there are times I think I can feel my _hand_ on it, but I don't know if I'm really sensing my hand, if it's wishful thinkin—I get it done as fast and hard as possible. Get it over with."

Alec wanted to pull Logan hard against him. He wanted to kiss Logan all over his cheeks, his shut eyes and the pained twist of his mouth. He kept Logan flushed against him. 

"You never took the time to give yourself a hand job or, um, finger yourself." 

Mute, Logan shook his head against Alec's shoulder.

Alec kissed the top of Logan's head.

"Can you show me now?" Alec whispered. "Can you touch yourself for me?"

Logan tensed.

Alec pulled the covers. 

Logan's hand whipped out to stop him.

Alec shuffled closer, closer until he could settle behind Logan's stiff posture. Logan trembled as Alec moved until he could keep Logan between his spread legs.

"What are you—"

"Sh," Alec murmured. He tugged Logan close until they were flushed back to chest, until his dick tucked between their bodies and he was able to wrap his arms around Logan. He reached around their bodies and ripped the blankets out of Logan's white-knuckled grip.

Logan shook his head, already vetoing what Alec was about to say. He pushed Alec's hands away as they drifted to his. Alec caught one hand. He mouthed the back of Logan's ear. He dropped feather light kisses along Logan's neck as he guided the captured hand to Logan's already softening erection.

At the first touch, Logan snatched his hand back as if burned.

"Show me," Alec whispered. He brushed his nose along Logan's nape. He hooked his chin over Logan's shoulder. He drew up his knees and bracketed Logan. He surrounded Logan with loose, relaxed limbs.

Logan swallowed and reached, but as soon as he felt the dying erection, he lost his nerve.

Alec caught Logan's hand as it retreated. He murmured quietly into Logan's ears, soft encouragements as he pulled Logan's hand back towards his own cock.

"It's okay," Alec whispered as he watched Logan shakily wrapped fingers around himself. "That's it. No, no…" He stilled the ruthless pace he saw Logan's hand flexing to do.

"This isn't a punishment." The broken off sob wormed into Alec's gut; he almost stopped. "This isn't about getting it over with quickly. Slow."

Logan's fist loosened. Cautiously, he swept his grip up to the cock's head.

"Good," Alec murmured. His hand drifted down to Logan's elbow. He left it there, no longer guiding. "Longer. Right, like that. Do you feel that?"

Logan shook his head immediately and his pace faltered.

"Look at yourself." 

Logan's chin dipped lower. He shook his head again.

Alec brushed the bangs away from Logan's eyes. He rested his head against Logan's throat. Raw, breathy gasps clawed out of Logan; sounds of a dying animal. 

"Look," Alec whispered. He tipped his head against Logan, prodding him to open his eyes. "You're gorgeous, you know. Your hands felt like sin on me. See how they wrap around you? Do you feel it?"

Logan jerked, his shoulders stuttering. "I don't know. I don't kno—Alec, I could feel it in my hand, but I don't know if—"

Alec wrapped his arm across Logan's chest so they could stay hunched into each other.

"You're not feeling it," Alec murmured, "because you're telling yourself you _can't_ feel it. But I know you can. I feel you respond to me every time and—ah, ah, ah." He cut off the protest with a kiss on the side of his throat. "No, it's not a reflex. Not just. I know it's more."

"Maybe it's just you," Logan protested weakly. He tentatively ran his thumb down the vein under his cock. He made a tiny sound.

Alec nipped a soft lobe.

"Flatterer. Not just me." Alec hummed as he watched. "Tighter. Not too tight. Hold it like you hold mine." He lightly touched Logan's knuckles, guiding the strokes from base to tip. He curled a loose fist around Logan's grip as it flexed around a slowly filling cock.

The pace quickened and slowed under Alec's direction. Logan's breathing grew shallow. Alec kept encouraging him to look, to gaze at those beautiful hands pumping the pink cock, squeezing the base, massaging the bead of pre-come over the head and smearing it down the entire length.

Alec's cock, caught between their bodies, started to twitch with interest as he watched Logan's hands touched where Alec longed to touch. Logan made tiny gasps, disbelieving yet needy sounds as he pumped, filled and hungered.

"Alec…" Logan sounded scared.

"You're doing fine. God, you look…keep going…"

Alec felt himself rocking into Logan, his dick grounding into the cleft of the other's ass. His skin overheated as Logan's fist hurried its pace, spurned not by self-loathing, but his own need for completion now. 

"Your hands…" Alec breathed. His hips rocked forward, driving his erection up along Logan's spine. Perspiration slicked back and chest. Suddenly, it was impossible to hold back. Alec tucked his cock into the tight space between Logan's buttocks and the mattress. He began to thrust feverishly. He heard himself telling Logan to keep going: harder and faster, to match pace with Alec because the sight of him, the sight of Logan and his hands and his cock and the sound of his voice…

A voice inside warned Alec to slow down; there wasn't enough to slick skin against Alec's relentless pace as he fucked into the constricting confines created by body and bed. Against him, Logan moaned as he jerked and swayed, caught between his own fist and the jostling Alec couldn't help but make.

Alec came hard, under Logan's buttocks, under his balls, over the sheets. He thrusted hard once more, felt Logan jump against him. He growled, his hips still slapping against Logan. Logan's arms flexed as his fist sped up. Alec's lower back ached with the strain. He wrapped arms and legs around Logan and drew them down on their sides.

"Don't stop," Alec growled as he pistoned between Logan's thighs from behind in pace with Logan's fist. 

"So beautiful," Alec groaned as his cock hardened between Logan's legs. He rammed his erection repeatedly, running bitingly sharp under Logan's balls. He felt them shrinking tight to Logan's body, tantalizing on Alec's skin. He, no, _they_ were so close, almost there—

Logan cried out as he came, writhing on his side, held in place by Alec's arms and legs. He shook as he came. Alec slapped a hand over Logan's. Together, they milked Logan dry.

Their combined breaths were loud in the space. It rivaled the roaring in Alec's ears that he almost missed the stifled sound Logan made into the mattress.

Alec flinched. He wrapped his arms around Logan's chest. He pulled Logan into the cradle of his body. Logan was shaking.

"Did I hurt you?" Alec could feel the friction burns on the back of Logan's thighs hot against his legs. "Shit. Babe, are you—"

"I felt it."

Alec stilled. A knot in his gut uncoiled. He sagged against Logan's back. He rubbed his chin along the quivering lines of Logan's shoulders. 

"I know," Alec murmured. He kissed the damp skin on the knobby nape. "I felt it too."

Logan said nothing else. He stayed lying on his side, inside Alec's protective circle, his face pressed into the mattress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter existed, deleted, was revamped. I wished I could ignore Alec's upbringing, but the story and his journey said it needed to be told. Some parts were upsetting (to me). I sincerely hope it was all right with you, my dear reader.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: strong language, graphic violence and (surprise surprise) SEX
> 
> Mentions previous AU events of "Cape Haven", dialogue from "Out", "Rising" and "Red". With a sprinkle of Marvel and DC comics.

"Ow. Ow ow ow."

Alec rolled his eyes from his seat on a barrel. After the initial _What the hell_ reaction he first had when he found Phil picking glass out of his arm, Alec was now only feeling exasperated towards the goofball.

Glass tinkled as Phil gingerly plucked out another splinter with the dirtiest tweezers Alec ever saw. 

"This," Alec told him, "is what you get for trying to see if you can fly."

The lens on top of Phil's headgear bobbed erratically. He gestured wildly with the tweezers in his hand.

"I wasn't trying to fly!" Phil protested. At Alec's look, he lowered the utensil.

The lens suddenly drooped with Phil's shoulders. "I was trying to catch up." 

"Catch up?" Alec repeated. "To what?"

"To whom," Phil corrected. He squirmed. "To you, actually."

"Me?" Alec's eyebrow rose. 

"Were we in a race I didn't know about? Because I was kind of busy this morning doing…" Alec's thighs flexed in memory of what— _whom_ —he was doing a few hours ago. And he pretty much owed Logan a shirt. And a headboard. And maybe a pillowcase; he still think that one wasn't his fault, though. 

"Stuff," Alec finished lamely. He fidgeted, adjusting himself under the guise of moving his _Jam Pony_ satchel over his lap.

Phil scratched his jaw. 

"No race," Phil mumbled. "Just trying to stay par to course with your skill set and—"

Alec held up the foiled wrapped reason he was here at 0730 in the morning.

"Dude, maybe you should eat the burrito first? Because you're not making a lot of sense."

"How high can you jump?" Phil blurted out.

Alec scrunched up his face at the non-sequitur. "Okay. Random." He shrugged. "I don't know." _Three point six one meters_. "A couple of feet?"

"When you were in the alley, our first point of contact, you leaped up to the fire escape on the second floor," Phil reminded him. "That was maybe nine, ten feet—"

 _Eleven point nine feet_ , Alec mentally corrected him. Outside, he cut Phil off.

"What does it matter?"

"I can only reach ten feet six inches."

Alec frowned. "So?"

Phil slumped. He set down the tweezers on the table. He sat there and supported his hurt arm with the other.

"I'm not much help, am I?"

Alec was taken aback. He rolled possible responses in his head; he ended up stammering, "What?"

Phil looked strangely unlike himself when he smiled grimly, the jovial and often over-exuberant demeanor now a somber mien. 

"I'm neither a detective nor a hacker or…" Phil shrugged. He pulled off his headgear and worried the worn leather in his ink smudged hands.

"I read a lot and take pictures."

"You take good pictures." Alec gestured towards the curtains of film swaying under the drafty space. "There's stuff here no one else ever got. Hell, we didn't know you were watching until you came forward." A detail that still irked Alec. He was careful not to let it leak into his voice. 

Phil smiled wanly at the almost-compliment. 

"I thought…" The leather squeaked as Phil wrung the material with both hands. "If I could offer something more to the team…" Phil's shoulders jittered up and down.

"So you figured trying to jump freakishly high from fire escape to fire escape would make a useful contribution to the…team?" Alec asked skeptically.

Phil pulled a face. He chuckled awkwardly; he scratched his ear. 

"When you put it that way…"

Alec ran a hand through his hair. He was momentarily startled to realize his high and tight cut was now long enough to grip. He shook out of his reverie.

"You went hop, hop, and smash into the third floor." Alec folded his arms. "You're lucky that building is empty in the mornings. Those crystal smoking squatters wouldn't have appreciated you crashing into their party."

Phil sighed. He nodded glumly.

Alec leaped from the barrel. He paced around one of the numerous work tables (crates) Phil set up to dry his developed photos. He trailed a finger over a faraway shot Phil took of him and Logan coming out of the mansion.

"Any tips on how I can build up on my powers?" Phil stared at Alec with such a hopeful look; Alec cringed.

"Sure," Alec quipped. "Get Big Brother to slice and splice your DNA up with some feline proteins. They've figured out the shedding problem, but every few months, there might be an issue when you get super hor—" He snapped his mouth shut because _what the fuck_? He twisted around to face Phil head-on. His chin stuck out, daring Phil to say anything. 

"Oh." Phil blinked at Alec. His mouth opened and closed; he looked like one of the fishes Alec once spotted in an aquarium, although, at the time, Alec was busying tracking an assemblyman. 

Phil had stared a few beats before he recovered.

Alec caught himself holding his breath. He forced himself to exhale and look away because it didn't bother him what they thought. No. Still, Alec studied Phil's blank expression. He waited. 

"No radioactive spider then?" 

Alec started. "What?"

Phil's hands attached at the heels to mime a creepy crawler.

"I assumed with your strength and speed that perhaps you were a mutant, granted your powers when you were bitten by a radioactive spider or other experimental creatures."

Sometimes Alec felt like _he_ was the experimental creature. He smiled, tight lipped and small, as he jumped over one of Phil's tables, somersaulted and landed on his feet inches from Phil's position.

Wide eyed and slack jawed, Phil gaped.

"No spider," Alec said brightly. "Just mutant."

Phil narrowed his eyes, considering.

Alec felt the line of his back grow rigid under the gaze. 

"What?" Alec bit out.

"Do you glow in the dark?"

"Uh…no." At least Alec didn't think so. He scratched a spot above his bar code. He eyed Phil warily. 

Phil leaned into Alec's personal space. The lens on Phil's hat bonked Alec on top of his skull.

"Do you crave various fresh human organs or fluid on a daily basis?"

Alec made a face. He reared back, his face twisted. "What? Ew. No!"

"Do you have a tail?"

Groaning, Alec thumped Phil on his good arm. 

Phil straightened in his seat. He nodded to himself.

"Not a mutant then." Phil lightly punched back Alec in the arm. He grinned toothily. "A mere, if not extraordinary, mortal like the rest of us."

Alec digested the words. He darted another look at Phil, but Phil still looked like Phil: all yippee, huzzah and goofy.

The tension that kept Alec's back ramrod straight fled. His shoulders relaxed. He felt oddly giddy.

Alec shoved at Phil. A whirl of gears replied as Phil struggled to stay seated.

"You are so weird," Alec scoffed.

"So says the man who eats the number five combo."

"Hey! There is nothing wrong with a pickles and cheese sandwich!"

 

"…nothing left to say to you, but I'm sure there's plenty to say to Bennett."

Alec winced as he hung outside his window. With the window opened a slit (alarm off _again_ —Damn it, Logan), Logan's rising tone drifted through still sharp, still angry. 

When it sounded like the conversation was over, Alec slid his window open as noisily as possible. He swung a leg in just as Logan wheeled by.

"Hey," Alec called out. To his surprise, Logan didn't stop.

"Hey," Logan greeted back curtly as he steered for the exercise area. "There's food in the fridge if you want lunch, I—" He shook his head roughly. 

"Give me a few minutes?" Logan gestured towards his office then towards the exercise area.

"Yeah sure, no big." Alec tracked Logan to the raised platform. He refocused on the fridge once Logan laboriously got on the exercise surface.

"Can't stay too long, anyway," Alec called out. He peered into the refrigerator and did a quick survey. "Normal has this _awesome_ idea to make sure everyone report back in after their lunch hour; make sure all we take _is_ just an hour."

A soft grunt replied.

Alec leaned back to catch a glimpse. Mm, Logan was doing sit-ups again. 

"Figured I'll just raid your fridge and have some _fun_ quality time with you tonight, if that's all right," Alec continued as he pulled out bread, meats and the half a head of lettuce browning behind the row of peanut butter and— _yes_!—anchovies. 

"Sure," Logan puffed as he sped through his third set. 

Alec frowned. He stopped mid-way making his lunch.

"You're ripping through those sets pretty quick, babe." Alec added a few extra slices of meat in Logan's sandwich. "What's up?"

"My uncle," Logan bit out as he sat up. He strapped weights around his ankles.

Logan tried to straighten his leg from the knee. Logan couldn't manage more than fifteen degrees of extensions. He trembled when he was done, though. Logan glared at his legs and tried again. His foot jittered as muscles attempted to fire, only to spasm instead.

"Easy, babe," Alec murmured. His gut twisted, sharp and profound, as he watched.

Logan uttered a noise when he managed five reps in the set. He switched legs, did five as well. He gritted his teeth, his hand digging into his left knee.

"Damn it," Logan wheezed out.

Alec took a deep breath. He set down the knife and bread.

"Are you pissed at the fact you pulled off only five or pissed off at your uncle?"

"Both." Logan sat on the elevated bench, slumped forward. He scowled at his knees.

Alec wanted to go over. Logan must have sensed it because he shot Alec a hooded look through the opened partitions. He shook his head; his eyes were green and dull.

Swallowing, Alec lowered his gaze and built the third sandwich.

"It looked like you were more pissed off at yourself," Alec muttered. He kept his eyes on the food as he slathered mustard and mayo on the bread slice.

Logan sighed. He didn't respond. He positioned himself back to doing sit-ups. 

"Anything I can do?" Alec murmured.

"No," Logan said curtly, strained as he completed his set.

Alec grimaced. He cut the sandwiches in half. The knife hit the marble countertop with a loud ring. 

"Not yet," Logan added, his voice softer.

Alec glanced over in time to see Logan hastily looking away. 

Ducking his head, Alec picked up one half of his sandwich.

The bread was chewy and the salami Alec piled on with the cheese overpowered the saltiness of the anchovies he had tucked in-between the filling. Mm. He'll try the anchovies with peanut butter next time.

"Sorry," Logan offered as he continued. "That phone call was not…pleasant." He grimaced as he pulled up to complete a rep, his abdomen quivering with the strain. Logan began slowing down. He paused, screwed up his face and his pace picked up again.

"I figured." Alec chewed thoughtfully. "No more polite talk and martinis, huh?"

Logan jerkily shook his head. Up and down he went. 

"On the bright side," Alec chimed cheerfully, "I get to see you all sweaty and groaning."

Logan huffed out a laugh. He shot Alec a rueful look. "I know we said lunch. I just needed…" Logan sat up and waved towards himself. 

Alec shrugged. "I've been known to hit a Steelhead or five whenever the urge strikes."

"I'll leave those body altering hoodlums to you." Logan stopped, chest heaving as he took a drink of water from the bottle Alec tossed over. 

"Goodie." Alec pointed to the sandwiches. He picked up one half and took a test bite.

"Protein. Eat."

Logan made a face. "I saw you pull out the anchovies before."

"You have no taste, but don't worry. You don't get to have any of my excellent salami, anchovy and cheese sandwich. I only made you a boring salami and cheese one." 

"Thank God," Logan chuckled.

Alec wished Logan would stop exercising and get his cute ass over here to eat. Then again, Logan was wearing the gray sweats and they were all clingy and bunched up in all the right places whenever Logan worked through a set.

"Food's here whenever you're, ah, done." Alec rested his elbows on the counter. "Carry on with your exercise porn, Heather. Up the volume on the grunting and moaning, though."

Logan wheezed, his laugh reedy but brighter now. The shadows on his face retreated; a red flush from his exertions took its place.

Alec's Adam's apple bobbed. Logan's breathing took on a ragged quality that made Alec's skin shiver tight around him. He zeroed in on the droplets of sweat trailing down Logan's cheekbones, sliding down to linger on his jaw line before falling down, disappearing into that too loose neckline. 

Heat bloomed in the pit of Alec's stomach and rushed down to his dick. He reached down and palmed his growing erection through his jeans.

Logan continued with his routine. Thankfully, he slowed his pace when his quads started shuddering.

Alec absently stroked the hard line of his dick under denim as Logan did his biceps curls. Fire flared at the contact of Alec's thumb. It pressed down on his zipper; friction, pressure and the overly heated confines of his jeans seemed to cinch tight around his dick. By the time Logan was done with his set, Alec was lightheaded and breathing hard.

"I'll probably skip lunch," Logan said, glancing over with a tight-lipped smile.

A bucket of cold water crashed over Alec. He frowned.

"Seriously, that bony ass look is starting to get old." Alec tapped the plate of sandwiches.

"Look, I even cut the crusts off and put on that mustard and mayo stuff you like."

Logan moved back to sit ups. He paused in position and glanced over. His smile softened to something less pained.

"After my session," Logan promised.

"Whatever," Alec grumbled. He pressed the heel of his hand over his erection, already going down since Logan had said he wasn't _in the mood_ again, because damn it, Logan was hardly ever in the mood and there were times Alec wanted to straddle the guy and force feed him until his damn cheekbones no longer looked sharp enough to cu—

A faint beeping trilled for Alec's attention. He scowled at his messenger bag by his feet.

"Normal?" Logan panted as he continued his sit-ups.

Alec sighed. "Normal. My lunch hour actually ended five minutes ago."

"An hour for lunch," Logan remarked breathlessly. There was something appealing about the heat flush on his face. "Imagine that."

"Har har," Alec shot back. He made no move towards his bag, though. He watched Logan's top ride up, revealing a strip of sleek muscle flexing and flattening, obliques squeezing as Logan hinged up at the hips.

"I should blaze out of here," Alec murmured as his eyes tracked Logan as he sat up, sat down, sat up, sat down. "Gotta play by the rules if I want Normal to let me off on time tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Logan huffed out as he beat out a rapid set of sit ups.

Alec leaned on the kitchen island for a better look. He idly wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. 

" _Crash_? Dinner? _Dessert_?" Alec threw in an audible leer to the last part. 

Logan hesitated, body perfectly parallel to the floor. 

Alec's stomach soured. 

"Uh…" Alec straightened. He watched Logan slowly complete his sit up. Done, Logan hunched forward on the platform.

"That's right," Logan said blankly. "It's tomorrow." He took his time scrubbing his face dry with a towel. 

"I need to figure this out," Logan said awkwardly. "I mean, my uncle, there are some connections I'm not seeing. I think he has a backer, who's pressuring him to—"

"If you need to cancel," Alec said because watching Logan verbally fumble always left a pang in his chest, "It's fine. You shouldn't need to reorganize your entire life just because some guy wants to buy you dinner."

"You're not just _some_ guy, Alec."

A bright light seemed to wiggle deep inside Alec's chest. He shifted his weight. He caught himself grinning at nothing in particular.

"Yeah," Alec quipped. "I'm pretty damn special, huh?"

"I think so."

Alec's smile wavered. He rubbed the back of his neck before he could stop himself.

"Oh. Okay. Uh, t-thanks." Alec peered up.

Logan was turned towards him, partially hidden by the various glass partitions that carved out the spaces. But Alec could see the tiny smile; his eyes were crinkled to match despite the shadows weeks of stress has left on his face.

Alec tentatively smiled back and Logan's widened.

"So, ah, tomorrow?" Alec ventured.

"I'll be there."

 

"Would it be easier on my back or on my side when you fuck me?"

Alec had asked Logan to pass the bread. _That_ wasn't the answer he was expecting.

The bread basket tipped out of Alec's nerveless fingers and spilled onto the platter that held the remains of an experimental chicken curry. Logan was heavy-handed with the marsala and tomatoes tonight. Alec ate it anyway because— _Dude_ —Logan Cale could make the bottom of his boot tasty.

"Wait—What? When I—ah, on your sid—wait, hold up." Alec collapsed back into his chair. He glared across the dining table.

Logan calmly collected each dinner roll and dropped them back into the basket. He glanced up and looked too wide eyed. He almost pulled off completely guileless, if it weren't for the fact he was moaning filth as he bucked on Alec's lap while Alec talked him through fingering himself. 

The vocabulary Logan knew…

"Bitch." Alec accused. He tossed his napkin at Logan, who chuckled as he batted it away. Alec shook his head.

"At least you waited until I was done eating," Alec grumbled. He paused when it occurred to him. He cast a leer Logan's way.

"Although, a little CPR wouldn't hurt anyone."

Logan rolled his eyes. He tore a piece of bread and dipped it into the marsala. He nibbled on it; he made a face.

Alec tapped his fork on the table because he wasn't sure how they went from discussing using Phil to follow Jonas to…well, _that_.

Logan finally stopped. He sighed as he leaned back into his chair.

"I needed to stop thinking about this situation with my uncle Jonas, so I did some research."

"You mean porn." Alec waggled his eyebrows.

Logan flushed. "No. _Research_." He gestured feebly towards his computer. "I was reading about sex with, um, someone like…me." His hand stuttered as it moved towards himself, specifically, his legs.

Alec sobered. "What we did was no different than if we did it with…" He stopped before he said 'anyone else.' The idea that either one of them would do the things they do with someone other than themselves…He set down his fork.

"I mean," Alec said gruffly, "if this was before we and I were, not that it was, I mean it was good, hell, it was sex, but you and I are way bet—What we do is no different is all I'm saying."

Logan smiled faintly. "I can't exactly go down on my hands and knees, Alec."

Alec swallowed back the sour taste welling up his throat.

"I wouldn't want you to or, you know, bend over or…" Alec squirmed in his seat. "Look, don't worry about that. That's not…not my thing anyway, all right?"

A flurry of emotions flickered across Logan's face. After a beat, his eyes fixed on Alec, Logan nodded.

"It'll probably be better on your side, though," Alec muttered. "For the first time. Less strain on the flexor muscles upon, it keeps your spine in a—less chance of…" He took a deep breath. "There are things we probably should debrief on, what to expect…"

_"…if the angle isn't correct. There may be some rectal…I mean, there could most likely be… "_

_X-494 noted their instructor stuttered as he considered the four round cheeked faces staring back._

_"Look…" No name was given when the instructor entered the room. He was a slight man; one 494 deemed would be ineffectual in the field. They were told he was a specialist. His hands were smooth and they shook when he set each slide down in the projector. He always looked ill when he pulled out each corresponding item of their kit. His pale complexion appeared grayer whenever he was done with the latest session._

_"What they're asking you to do…" Their instructor pulled down his glasses. He was near-sighted, severely so; he would be of no use in night ops._

_"You have a choice, you know?" the instructor burst out. He waved his hands towards the screen. The slide instructing lubrication and how to use kit 3J-R if it was accessible overlapped on the instructor's long face. The instructor was supposed to pick a volunteer to demonstrate. He didn't finish the presentation._

_"You don't have to do this! What these people are asking of you—"_

_The door flung open. He watched impassively with the others as the instructor was dragged out of the room. The man was still shouting even as he was dragged down the same corridor others were taken through._

_"X-317, 498, 494, 511, you are dismissed." A stone faced lieutenant stood in front of the projector. The words 'penetration' and 'lubrication' shown distorted across their SO's chest._

_"We will debrief tomorrow 0500. Disregard what you have learned today. The information is not pertinent to our mission."_

_No one nodded. It was understood. He stood up with the others, waited at parade rest until they were individually dismissed. When it was his turn, he stepped out and for some reason, he found himself give the hallway the instructor was taken a passing glance._

_He never saw the man again._

"Jesus, Alec."

Alec blinked. Logan stared at him, his mouth partially opened.

"What?" Alec said. 

"Refer to what kit?" Logan managed out. "Possible bowel…" He shook his head. Logan looked faintly ill.

 _Fuck_.

Alec grimaced. "Manticore sex 101 covers all the bases," he said lamely when he realized he must have parroted the slides back to Logan in verbatim.

Logan wiped a hand across his mouth.

Alec laughed shortly. It felt strange coming out in his throat.

"Guess that means you're not interested anymore, huh?"

Logan squeezed his eyes shut. He exhaled slowly through his mouth.

"On the contrary," Logan murmured, "I've never been more interested."

Alec stared. "W-wait. What?"

Logan's eyes were strained; his smile was small, but he locked gazes with Alec.

"I want it to be with you, Alec. I've never been surer." 

Logan reached over and captured Alec's hand.

It felt like Alec's spine lost all its strength. He sat dizzy and boneless in his chair. He stared numbly at Logan's fingers clutching his in such a tight grip.

"Figured you be running for the hills after that," Alec confessed. He turned his palm up and wove their fingers together. "Manticore doesn't have a flair for writing. Their…instructional stuff is pretty much to the point. Not much left to the imagination." He laughed abruptly, harshly.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure they spliced imagination out of our DNA."

Logan squeezed Alec's hand. "I don't know. You were pretty imaginative last night."

Alec snorted. "You naked on the bed can be pretty inspiring." He leaned forward as he pulled their clasped hands closer.

"Don't let me hurt you," Alec whispered. He stared at the faded, thin scars on Logan's knuckles. Logan's hand had calluses, scars, patches of smooth skin along with roughness. Logan has seen battle, in his own way, yet the hand in Alec's grip never felt so fragile.

"Promise me," Alec said with sudden fierceness. "When we do this, you make sure I can't hurt you. You tell me to stop. Okay? If it gets to be too much, starts to feel weird, or you can't breathe or I'm too heavy on you, you stop me, damn it. Tell me to stop or if I don't—Maybe you should keep your gun under the pillow again—"

" _Alec_."

Alec lifted his suddenly heavy head. Logan clutched Alec's hand with both of his now. He held on as if he was dangling over the edge of something very high and completely bottomless.

"Promise me," Alec croaked.

"Alec, you would never intentionally—"

" _Promise me_ , damn it!"

Logan stopped short. 

"All right," Logan said, subdued. "I promise."

Alec lost all strength in his hands. He nodded. It felt like he did far too many laps around a track; his limbs felt liquidized, his eyes burned.

"Alec."

Logan was next to Alec now instead of across the table. The shock that was on his face before was gone. Logan looked at Alec with nothing Alec thought he should.

Alec sighed as he turned. Logan wheeled closer until Alec's knees were tucked between his. It was a bit of a stretch, but Alec slumped forward; he buried his face in the crook of Logan's shoulder.

Logan wrapped his arms around Alec's shoulders.

There was an inexplicable urge to straddle Logan in his chair, tuck his head under Logan's chin and stay there. But Alec knew it was impractical. He was too heavy; it could cut off Logan's already compromised circulation and it was stupid.

"Let's go to bed," Logan murmured.

Alec scoffed against Logan. "As incredible as it sounds, I don't think I'm _up_ for it, babe."

Logan's arms curled tighter around Alec. "Just for sleep."

"Don't think I could sleep either."

"Just to be there with me."

Alec pulled away. Logan's arms loosened and dropped. His hands cupped Alec's elbows.

The food on the table was cold and smelled like it. The bread let out a faint yeasty smell and bound to be too hard in an hour. But Logan didn't give the table a glance. He looked at Alec like he was the only thing in the room. 

Alec nodded.

"Yeah," Alec rasps. "That sounds good."

No one slept that night. Alec spent the entire time listening to the subtle whisper of Logan's hand stroking down Alec's back. He supposed Logan thought it could soothe the memories away, the bad taste in Alec's mouth, maybe explain why Alec _couldn't stop remembering_. But Logan was human and Alec…not quite, so the technique was somewhat lacking. 

It felt nice, though.

 

"Is that what you're wearing?"

Alec arched an eyebrow towards Phil's own ensemble of a long flappy tan coat and a brown coveralls from a utility company no longer in existence after the Pulse.

"You should talk," Alec retorted. He nodded towards the mess collecting on Phil's front. "Are you trying to add that breakfast burrito to your attire?"

Phil checked; he picked thin green ribbons of shredded lettuce off his jumpsuit. He crammed them into his mouth as he continued. 

"Perhaps something with a tie?" Phil canted his head as he considered Alec. 

"Or something with buttons?"

Alec arched an eyebrow. He stared down at his own chest. He looked back up. Phil seemed to have forgotten about his burrito. The guy sat across from the crate watching expectantly.

"All right, what's with the sudden interest in my wardrobe?" The customers around them gave them a dirty look when Alec spread his arms wide. 

Phil pursed his lips. "In my experience," he demurred, "you're a little too casual."

" _In your experience_?"

"In the literature I've read," Phil quickly amended.

"You read _comic books_."

"Brilliantly written comic books!"

Alec folded his arms. "All right, I'll bite. What great wisdom has your reading gained?"

Phil straightened from his hunch over his daily burrito. He looked like he was ready to give his report. He coughed behind his fist. The lens attached to his hat bobbed.

" _Well?_ "

Phil held up a finger.

"Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark would dress up for their dates."

Alec blinked. "Who?"

Phil's eyes bulged. "You don't know who they are?" He sputtered.

Alec leaned away from possible burrito spray. "Not exactly. Will you chew and swallow please?"

"How could you—they're only the key figures in a universe—well, dependent on which version because of parallel and if Reed Richards was involved or—"

Alec kicked Phil. His foot ached vaguely as it bounced off the hidden exoskeleton. It did the job, though; Phil's babbling stopped.

"Where I came from, reading consisted mostly of manuals," Alec said. He mentally reviewed Phil's verbal spew.

"Wait. Date? What do you know about it?"

"Well, Detective Sung may have mentioned it when he caught me following—"

"You were _following_ him? What the hell?"

"I was only confirming if he was a trustworthy ally!" Phil held up his hands at Alec's glower. "I was concerned he might be involved in nefarious ways with the case at hand." He lowered his voice as he explained. "I thought I could contribute this way to the team."

Alec wiped his palm down his face. "Phil, teams don't—" He stopped because he wasn't sure how to complete that sentence. He doubted platoons were similar to teams. They sure as hell didn't have daily breakfast burrito meetings.

"Go back to the date thing," Alec said instead. "What the hell, man? Are you guys talking about me? Should I be flattered or creeped out? Wait, I think I'm creeped out."

"We may or may not have discussed the significance of your date tonight."

Phil looked shifty. Alec rolled his eyes.

"Uh huh. And what _significance_ have you guys determined?"

"Much." Phil's eyes gleamed the way every time Alec gave him an assignment. 

Alec scoffed. "It's beer at _Crash_ and dinner. We have dinner all the time. Hell, last night! Not exactly life altering."

"Are you sure about that?"

Alec's retort died on his lips. His hand twitched to go up to the back of his neck.

Phil smugly went back to his burrito.

 

Alec exhaled when he finally spotted Logan at 2058 hours. To be fair, Alec has been nursing his first beer under Original Cindy's smirk since 1950 hours. But that was only because he was thirsty. 

It didn't matter how many were in _Crash_ tonight. It didn't matter how loud it was in _Crash_. It was like a buzzing against Alec's skin, pulling his gaze towards Logan the moment Logan appeared at the entrance. It was gut instinct, or whatever Manticore had hammered (cut/spliced/tweaked) into Alec. Not unlike guided by a sniper scope (although the comparison made Alec's insides churn) Alec found he was already searching even before he knew what he was searching for. He suspected it was only with Logan though. 

Veering around drunk _Jam Pony_ messengers, even more inebriated and more handsy patrons and the wait staff, Alec crossed the bar. He told himself he went at a clipped pace because he feared Logan was going to head for the proverbial hills, not because of the fluttering in his stomach.

A foot away from Logan, Alec halted. He couldn't take another step. He stood there; his feet was stuck to the sticky floor. He stared at Logan.

Logan stared back.

Alec cleared his throat. The words wouldn't come out. He felt strangled; the neck line around his shirt shrank around his Adam's apple.

"You came," Alec blurted. He clamped his mouth shut. _Real smart, Dean_.

Logan smiled, but it dropped too quickly. Alec watched him visibly tried again, but it looked just as strained.

"You asked."

The back of Alec's neck itched. He aborted the move to rub his nape. By the look on Logan's face, he didn't stop it in time.

Something eased in Logan's expression; his smile seemed more relaxed now, if not lopsided. His chair edged closer. Alec blinked when he felt Logan's fingers brush along the knuckles of the hand Alec was trying to keep down.

"Nice tie," Logan commented lightly. His eyes swept up Alec's attire: a dark gray striped silk over a white button down. He had mentally flailed and ultimately decided on jeans and an aviator's jacket he got from a motor part swap with Sketchy. He may have possibly taken it out of a cop's patrol car. Maybe. Most likely. 

Logan looked down at his own outfit. He wore his green henley and dark jeans. And despite it was warming up in the late spring, he opted for the black blazer.

"I think I'm under dressed," Logan said with a nervous laugh. "I didn't realize this was a tie thing."

"No, I think you look great. I mean, this thing?" Alec poked a finger into the knot and unraveled the tie with a tug. "The tie? Not a thing. Really. I uh, figured it might be useful. For later." He threw in a leer as he hastily rolled up the tie and stuck it in his pockets to return to 11B later.

Logan shot Alec a look and an eyebrow. Luckily, he didn't call on Alec's bullshit. 

"Buy me a drink?" Logan murmured, barely audible in _Crash_. Alec heard it anyway like it was against his ear.

Alec turned his hand and captured Logan's. He felt a squeeze, light, almost as shaky as his insides felt. Somehow, that made things less freaky.

"Only if you buy the next round," Alec quipped. He held his breath, waiting for Logan's response.

There was no apprehension lurking in Logan's hazel eyes. They crinkled up.

"Deal."

 

The eight ball lingered, lingered, tittering indecisively. Table? Hole? Table?

After one more wobble, the eight ball tipped into the corner pocket.

Around the table, cheers rose, money was exchanged, backs were slapped.

Alec gaped at the traitorous ball. Slowly, he dragged his stare to his opponent.

Logan serenely chalked up his cue. He nodded towards Original Cindy at whatever she said.

"So," Cindy drawled as she stepped back to lean on the wall. She slapped Sketchy's hand tiptoeing towards her beer. "We count two out of three?"

"Actually," Logan murmured as he rolled closer to the billiards table to inspect the felt. "Three. He hasn't won yet."

Alec snapped his mouth shut as snickers swirled around him. Whatever irritation he felt evaporated when Logan cast a smirk his way. 

"I bought you two rounds," Alec grumbled half-heartedly. He grabbed the triangle and the balls on his side of the table. He tipped the triangle towards Logan and caught every ball Logan rolled his way. "Doesn't that give me a pity game at least?"

"Yes," Logan agreed easily. "You did buy me two rounds, but you also ate both of my bowls of peanuts."

"You said you weren't hungry yet!"

Logan chuckled as he steered to the side to break.

"I'm not betting against Logan this time," Sketchy grumbled good-naturedly as he smoothed out a ten and slapped it onto Herbal's palm. He wagged a finger at Alec. "You, good sir, are usually a sure thing."

Alec shrugged. "What can I say? The man has a good eye for angles."

"Only because he's already eye level," someone in the back muttered.

Alec froze. He flicked a glance towards Logan, who didn't give the impression that he heard. He glanced over his shoulder, but he couldn't pinpoint the speaker. When he turned back, he caught Cindy shaking her head. She subtly nodded towards three o'clock. When Alec checked, there was Herbal, his arm around someone's shoulders. He gave a thumbs up over his shoulder without looking as the pair steered for the exit.

"Are we going to play or are you still busy trying to defend my honor?"

Alec grimaced. He glanced over. Logan stared intently at the cue ball, his cue stick perfectly balanced in his fingers. He was a rigid line of tensed shoulders and back as he leaned forward in his seat to break.

"I'm trying to delay losing one more time," Alec whined.

Logan's shoulders relaxed. He shot Alec a sheepish smile. His cue slid through the cradle of his fingers in a way that made Alec's mouth run dry. The careful flex of muscles down Logan's back made Alec's stomach clench.

With a sharp _clack_ , Logan scattered the balls, got two in and proceeded to win. Again.

Damn it.

Alec glowered at Logan. The other leaned back into his chair. With a smirk, Logan accepted the fold of money Cindy slipped him; his share of the winnings.

"That's not sexy at all," Alec told Logan.

Logan laughed.

 

For once, it felt okay not to say anything.

Ever mindful of curfew, Alec and Logan left _Crash_ to head for dinner. Logan looked dazed as Cindy, Sketchy, Herbal and a few others shook hands, patted shoulders and wrestled promises from him to come back next time. Alec didn't know whether he wanted to hug them or throttle them as some got way too close to Logan for Alec's comfort. When Sketchy remarked Logan wasn't bad looking for a guy, Cindy slipped a finger through Alec's belt loop before he could do something stupid like lunge at the messenger and stomp on his goofy hat.

Not like Alec was going to do something as stupid as that. He was going to straddle Logan in his chair and stick his tongue down Logan's throat, kiss Logan until everyone got the memo to back off, _mineminemine_.

See? Nothing stupid.

"This was nice," Logan finally said as he wheeled in pace with Alec. His bag hung crisscross behind him. He kept his eyes on the ground; alleyways were usually littered with cracks and missing chunks of concrete. And decent lighting. There was one street lamp in the middle of the alley, sagging as if kowtowing to the ramshackle building in front of it.

"I hope you don't mean this." Alec made a face. "I'm pretty sure we can get tetanus just from _breathing_ in here." He gestured to their surroundings.

"One too many Steelheads were lurking on the other side of _Crash_." Logan grimaced though when one of his wheels splashed over a puddle. Something sour smelling rose up with the droplets.

"I rather knock a few Steelheads than get my boots covered in—ugh—I think we're going to have to hose down your chair before they let us in to dinner."

"Maybe hose _me_ down," Logan agreed. "But no, I wasn't talking about this." Logan's face screwed up in a way Alec wanted to kiss the other's nose.

"I haven't been in _Crash_ for a while." Logan cast a long look to Alec. "Except the one time when you were moping."

"I wasn't moping," Alec protested. He grinned when Logan snorted. "I was contemplating that gorgeous body of yours."

"Original Cindy told me three people stole peanuts off your bowl and you didn't blink."

"What? Who?" Alec pounded a fist into his other palm. 

Logan elbowed Alec by his hip. 

"What I'm trying to say is…" Logan started to take a deep breath. He glanced around them, made a face and thought against it. 

"I didn't know what to expect." Logan shrugged as he veered around a chunk of pavement that jutted out of the neglected concrete. "It was nice, norma—it…it was good."

"Don't sound so surprised," Alec said. He whistled to Logan, pointing out a crack only he could see in the dark. Logan obligingly steered around the spot Alec indicated.

"I thought…" Logan shrugged. "I was playing pool in Cape Haven, trying to get Sage to talk to me. The people there weren't as friendly."

"They're not all assholes in _Crash_." Alec kicked a soda can at the mention of Cape Haven. The can skittered away a few inches and spun on its mangled body. He thought of Phil and his usual rant about cleaning up the streets. He angled his foot, tipped the can and kicked it to the brick wall where it bounced into a lidless dumpster. 

"The guys there are pretty decent," Alec went on as he did the same with a beer can a step away. Geez, people can't walk the two feet over to throw stuff out? "I've been to other bars and yeah, not as fun."

"And if there are any assholes," Logan said lightly, "Herbal would just _escort_ them out too."

Alec glanced over, but Logan was still squinting at the ground.

"Hey." Alec stopped. "I didn't tell them to…I heard that jerk and by the time I looked up, Herbal and Cindy were already—"

"It's okay." Logan looked up. His eyes were bright, his mouth smiling. "It's fine."

Alec found himself grinning goofily. "Yeah?"

Logan reached over and gripped Alec's hand. "Yeah."

"Cool." Alec continued his way, Logan's chair making that sticky tread sound next to him. He missed the heat and pressure of Logan's hand around his. He wished they could walk like that, but Logan couldn't steer properly one-handed.

"So where are we going for dinner?" 

Alec bounced the next can up and down on his elbow. "There's this place Sung told me about that does awesome sweet and sour pork—" 

The can bounced off Alec's elbow and clattered to the floor.

Logan stilled next to him.

"It's kind of rowdy there," Alec went on smoothly as he went behind Logan's chair. He grabbed Logan's backpack and swung it over his own shoulder. He pressed a knee to the seat, through to Logan's lower back.

"Oh?" Logan remarked, not missing a beat. His arms flexed as he pushed the wheels forward. The treads shimmied briefly over filth as the pace quickened. "Maybe it's a good thing I brought my gun?"

Alec gripped Logan's shoulder. He squeezed it one, no, _two_ times. Fuck.

"Could be useful," Alec said out loud. He heard his words bounce off the walls. He heard a boot scrape in response to them but nothing more. He wished he hadn't left his pack at the foot of their bed. The blade tucked in his boot felt woefully small now. 

"I thought the rest of the guys were meeting us here." Alec made a show of checking his watch. He tilted it, catching the meager light of the only street lamp around. He squinted at the watch face, turning his wrist and—there! On the fire escape above them and at the doorway behind them, two shadows crouched to avoid the light. He caught a glint of a watchful eye, unblinking and steady.

"I could give them a call," Logan offered. He took his backpack Alec offered. "They must be stuck in the precinct." The cellphone chimed loudly as Logan dialed the pagers. 

Alec pressed his palm against the buzzing device in his pocket to muffle the responding alert. 

"They're just around the corner," Logan reported loudly.

Alec's back coiled. He felt the urge to grit his teeth. He could feel them watching. He couldn't hear their breaths any more as if they were holding them, but that was impossible because no one cou—

Shit.

Alec whipped out a foot, kicking the can. It sailed past him and bounced off the first guy's chest.

"Aw man, you again?" Alec groaned when he recognized the close to the skull buzz cuts and blank eyes. "Seriously?"

The tallest of the two appeared to be their leader. Barrel-chested with an odd scar that cut horizontal on his brow, the leader said nothing. He clopped closer.

"I'm calling you Uno and Dos," Alec decided. "You discuss among yourselves who gets which one. Personally, I say Tres is a way cooler name."

Behind Alec, a gun cocked into readiness.

"I know bullets don't hurt you much," Logan said low. "But I'm pretty sure a bullet to your head could still take you down."

"Can you make sure you don't get them in the eyeballs?" Alec complained. He spread his stance inch by inch, his knees bracing. "It makes the grossest sound; like pulverized grapes. Yuck."

Uno canted his head. He took a step forward.

A bullet spat concrete by his feet.

"Nice shot," Alec commented as he curled his hands. His knuckles cracked. 

Neither empty eyed thug reacted. Alec's skin crawled as their silence stretched.

"Who are you working for?" Logan asked. His gun oscillated between the two. 

Uno stared unblinking as if boring right through Logan. 

"It's the shirt," Alec said at the side of his mouth. "It accentuates that cute ass of yours."

The two didn't look at Alec.

"I am getting seriously offended here." Alec spread his arms wide and took a step in front of Logan. "This does nothing for you? Really?" He hopped another step forward. The two stared past him at Logan. 

"It's the glasses, isn't it? He's got that brainy, geeky—"

A muffled thump of a heavy object dropping from a tall height behind him galvanized Alec into action.

Or maybe it was Logan's gun firing into said unmovable object.

Alec threw forward his fist at Uno's nose, but it was caught inches from the scarred face. Before Alec could jerk back, Dos collided into his ribs with his head.

"Alec!"

Metal clattered as dumpsters tipped over. Alec caught a glimpse of Logan's assailant staggering back, one hand to his throat. But he didn't fall. He charged forward, a silent force, jerking back from another shot to his shoulder. His foot snapped out.

Logan's chair skidded across the alley and collided with Alec's ankles. 

Alec exploded back up on his feet, only to be double-teamed by Uno and Dos. They crashed into the wall. Brick dented under their combined weights.

A roundhouse kick caught Dos in the chin. One of Alec's punches finally broke through Uno's defenses and barreled into his chest.

Alec felt the spray of blood. He heard the crunch of bone.

No one fell down.

Alec flipped backwards, catching the two in the teeth with his boots. The two staggered back with jerky limbs. They remained upright. As Uno lurched forward, Alec grabbed his blade out of his boot and threw.

Uno toppled into Dos, unable to stay on his feet when the blade pierced his left thigh.

There was no way to retrieve the knife. Dos lumbered back to his feet. Uno was still trying.

Alec didn't care. He rolled into a landing, was up on his feet and running towards the one straddled over a prone Logan.

_Break the knee. Jump to shoulders. Snap the neck._

The list rattled off in Alec's head. He slid into a crouch, grabbed the closest knee and threw everything he had into the punch.

Fire crackled under Alec's fist as one of his knuckles popped. Nerves flared. His hand spasmed. Alec ignored it as he wrapped his legs around the guy's middle. The silver tie whipped out of his pocket. Silk snapped as Alec wrapped it around a thick neck. 

Tres ignored him. He tugged up Logan by the throat and slammed him back to the pavement. 

Logan coughed as the hand around him squeezed. He swung his gun across Tres's bloodied jaw.

Tres's head didn't snap back.

Alec snarled. His shoulders pulled back as he applied pressure.

Tres faltered.

Logan's hand dropped to the ground.

Alec pulled and pulled until he heard the hissing _snap_. He ignored how his stomach roiled at the familiar sound. He ignored how his limbs moved without thought; already back to Uno and Dos before their comrade even dropped to the ground. Alec's feet pounded as he raced towards them. They were charging him as well. Without a sound, their faces locked in an almost serene expression still fixed on Logan lying unmoving on the ground.

With a roar, Alec aimed for Uno. His hand ached, but he knew if he hit hard enough in a certain way, he could stop a heart. He just needed to hit hard enough, past breaking ribs, past the pain in his knuckles. 

He'll break both of his goddamn hands if he has to.

Behind Alec, Logan fired: one, two, five. The bullets zipped past Alec, so close Alec felt a sliver of heat on his cheek. 

Dos's head snapped back. He fell. 

Three bullets to the head and neck would do that.

Uno's expression flickered; a reaction finally registered and the thick brick red scar across his brow folded. He stared at Dos. He then stared at Alec. He turned around and ran.

Alec wanted to give chase. His feet thrummed to beat the pavement towards his target. But he could hear Logan wheezing behind him. He skidded to a halt. His chest heaved as he stared at Uno escaping at a good clip. Alec memorized his face, his stride, the very shape of him. Alec curled a fist as he committed that bastard to memory.

Done, Alec pivoted on his heels and ran back.

By the time Alec reached Logan, the other had already pulled himself sloppily into his wheelchair. Logan held up a hand, sensing Alec's barrage of questions. He gulped in a breath before shaking his head.

"Throat's sore," Logan rasped. "Ribs. Not broken, only bruised. Think my head is bleeding a little, but I don't feel dizzy." Logan glanced up at Alec.

Alec held up his right hand and let it dangle on the wrist. He made a face.

Logan grimaced. He glanced past Alec but quickly averted his eyes. 

"Yeah," Alec said. "He is."

Logan nodded to himself. He wheeled over to the third guy. Alec made a face when he realized Tres was lying face down on a patch of dried—ew.

"I shot him twice before, but he didn't go down," Logan croaked as he leaned down for a closer look. 

Alec darkened. "It didn't look like he felt it either." He checked the other corpse with a boot. A twinge flared when he did. Ouch. Guess his own ribs got a good knocking too. "Him as well." He curled and uncurled his good hand. "But your guy felt it when I choked him."

Logan winced at the reminder. He reached down towards the head. "They didn't appear to be high on anything, but they acted like—"

A hand shot up and snapped around Logan's wrist.

"Shit!" Alec spun around. 

Logan was yanked off his chair. He grunted when he landed. He rolled, but a meaty fist punched him flat on his back. The third assailant climbed over Logan. He moved erratically, his limbs twitching. But his double grip around Logan's throat was steel.

It happened the time it took Alec to reach Logan. Tres didn't even look up when Alec's foot slashed across the air and connected with his bleeding shoulder.

Alec tried to grab Tres's neck again, but the column seemed to have lost all muscle tone, floppy and loose. He growled as he tried to get an arm on the guy to haul him off. 

Without a word, the attacker rocked his head back. He managed to smash his skull into Alec's nose. 

A wet _crack_ filled Alec's ears. 

Alec staggered back. He tasted blood. He heard Logan gurgling in alarm. He heard Logan's gun clattering away, out of reach. Alec ignored how the ground reeled under his feet. He lunged for Tres again. 

Tres twisted at the torso, his head still in an obscene tilt. He bled from his nose and eyes. But his bloodshot eyes were still able to zero in on Alec. With a swift double punch, he sent Alec crashing into the only standing street light.

Trash cans clang. Pain ignited down the back of Alec's legs. Lights flickered. The head of the lamp toppled like a fell tree. Sparks flew out of a shattered bulb. Exposed wires danced on the concrete, flailing with live electricity. 

But all Alec was aware were the harsh choking sounds in front of him. 

Alec shouted wordlessly as he staggered to his feet. He stood swaying as he scanned for Logan's gun, a weapon, _anything._ He spotted something else and his lips curled back.

"Gotcha, you bastard," Alec snarled.

Their attacker paused. He glanced up, but couldn't react fast enough to see Alec leap out of the darkness and jammed the still sparking wires into the guy's ears.

Tres writhed as thousands of volts surged through his body. Blue light arced as skin slowly spotted black. Alec slipped his arms under Logan's arms and dragged him away from the tableau. Logan weakly grasped Alec's arm to sit up, but he couldn't manage it. Alec tugged Logan to his side. His back struck the wall before they stopped.

The two watched, numb, as the third man convulsed, dropped to his knees and died where he knelt. 

Alec stared at the third man; rigor mortis set in with the cooked corpse on its knees. Alec's nostrils flared at the smell of burnt flesh and singed hair.

"Jesus," Logan gasped. Logan's breathing sawed in the night; it sounded like it hurt to breathe. " _Now_ is he dead?"

Alec clutched Logan to his chest. Logan looped an arm behind and around Alec's neck. 

"I think so," Alec murmured as he tipped his head to Logan. He held up Logan against him. He reluctantly let go as he rose to his feet to find the wheelchair. He squinted at the smoldering body. 

"Are you sure?" Logan wheezed. "I shot him twice and he didn't even stop."

Without a sound, the smoky body tipped over to the ground.

The two gaped at the charred lump.

" _Pretty_ sure. Yup, he's a goner." 

Alec stood between Logan and bad guy anyway. He waited a beat before retrieving the wheelchair. He gave the chair a cursory check, straightened an axle with his good hand and set it by Logan. He wanted to scoop up Logan and head for the car, but Alec's hand was feeling three times its size and Logan was doubling, tripling before him. Crap, looked like he has a concussion, too.

Logan struggled back into his wheelchair. His breathing was harsh. It sounded loud, too loud, in the alley. They both flinched.

"We need to go," Alec muttered. He found he needed to rest a hip against Logan's chair to stay upright. "Even if no one called the cops, a hoverdrone would have heard that." He studied Logan's sweating face.

"Are you able to drive?"

"If I go three miles an hour and you tell me when to stop at lights."

Fuck. Alec swallowed convulsively. "Maybe in another minute. Sure."

Despite the wheezing, Logan's voice sharpened. "Alec?"

"Concussion. Yeah. It's already going away. Too bad, I was enjoying seeing three of you." Alec leaned away from the chair. He grimaced as he tried to rotate his wrist. "I can't help you drive though."

Logan rolled closer to the body.

"Oh gross, seriously, if you stink up the car, I'm walking."

Logan squinted. He frowned at something.

"What?"

"Think you can help me put him in the trunk?"

" _What?_ "

 

Alec's knee jittered in place as he watched the man in a full bodied wheelchair roll up to Logan. He wanted to avert his eyes as Logan's informant approached the other.

Logan drove them to a building that looked abandoned on the outside but was surprisingly well lit and clean on the inside. Alec had wondered about the wider doors and small ramps, but once Logan introduced him to Sebastian, it made sense.

Sebastian and his assistant didn't appear surprised to see them this late. Nor did Sebastian's assistant bat an eye when Logan hoarsely requested a few ice packs and the first aid kit.

Logan's informant watched as Alec attended to Logan then sitting still as Logan treated him even though Alec argued he was going to be fine in an hour or so. Logan pointed out it was still an hour away.

Sebastian didn't react to their conversation. Then again, it was hard to tell. Sebastian—whatever happened to him, everyone was tightlipped about it—was expressionless, his face trapped in the same inability as the rest of his body. He was quiet. He looked quiet. His chair dwarfed him. His hair was a long, unruly mess of faded brown hair and his arms and legs sat in the chair too loosely like a rag doll. His olive green sweater hung off his thin shoulders because no matter how much you can eat, atropy will always try to shrink the muscles to something painfully smaller, something painfully faded. 

If Logan's bullets then had been higher…

Alec swallowed. He forced himself to stare straight ahead.

Sebastian tipped his head to the side, into a voice synthesizer.

" _You are right, Logan. I've done some research. It does look to be military, but not ours._ "

Logan was tensed in his chair. The icepack bound to his sides dripped with condensation. He had refused to let Alec borrow one of the rooms to examine him closer or wrap his ribs. 

"I'm thinking South African," Logan said. "It's the only government wealthy enough to bankroll something like this." 

_"The footage you sent me concurs_." Despite the inability to move, Sebastian's eyes were alert when they zeroed in on Logan. " _Where did you get the footage_?"

Logan exhaled. "Two men with similar MOs broke into a safehouse last year and killed a Bruno Anselmo, who was going to turn state's evidence against Mayor Steckler." A shadow crossed Logan's face. "Five police detectives were killed as well."

" _Anselmo_?" Sebastian canted his head into his device, his brown eyes thoughtful. His mouth didn't, couldn't move, but his eyes studied Logan with intensity. Alec rose to his feet and settled next to Logan.

"Hey," Alec murmured. He rubbed his thumb down Logan's wrist.

Logan glanced over, his smile strained.

"I'll tell you later," Logan promised.

Alec felt Sebastian watching. When Alec leaned back, he thought he saw Sebastian's eyes crinkled towards him, but when he checked, Sebastian was fixed on the monitor. On the screen, a man in an isolation suit waddled towards Alec's crispy critter with a scalpel.

Manticore trained the squeamish out of their robots, but Alec found he still couldn't watch as the man made cuts to the back of the body's neck. 

Sebastian tapped his head to the other side and the video zoomed in on the item pulled out of the body.

" _Bingo_."

Logan narrowed his eyes. "Is that…"

Alec felt his insides knot as he considered the gnarled nest of black wires. 

A blink later, the mess unraveled and wound into a screw as thick as a pinky finger.

" _That_ was in his neck?" Alec made a face. And he thought his bar code was bad. 

"That would explain the sudden uptick in communed death row inmates." Logan darkened. "Budget cuts." At Alec's eyebrow, Logan grimaced. "That thing is an implant. The men on death row in South Africa? _Eyes Only_ suspected they volunteered to have it put in them."

"So they let their government…experiment on them?" Alec said slowly. " _Willingly_?"

Logan slipped a hand around Alec's knee.

" _That’s where the implant is inserted. In the trade, these guys are known as the Red Series_."

"Soldiers modified to be all they can be." Logan rubbed Alec's knee. 

"So they're like…Steelheads?" Alec's head spun.

Sebastian stared at Alec. " _The implant burrows into the brain stem—blocks the pain receptors so they don’t feel anything. They become hyper-adrenalized, which makes them incredibly strong, essentially fearless._ "

Alec winced. "Yea. I saw Logan put two bullets in the guy. I was pretty sure I finished him off. The guy was like a zombie. Nothing fazed him. And they walloped a punch." He rotated his hand. It was sore, but slowly healing. 

"They can't feel anything at all?" Alec checked the monitor. "That can't last too long."

"It doesn't," Logan said darkly.

" _They burn out in six months, a year tops. The South Africans have been trying to fix the problem by re-engineering their DNA._ "

Alec flinched.

"So what are they doing here, rather than trying to fix this?" Logan studied the screen. "Unless they've decided there's nothing more they can do."

"There is," Alec muttered. "If they can marry state-of-the-art transgenic science with neural-implant technology."

Logan sharply looked over to Alec.

Alec checked with Sebastian. 

Sebastian's head rocked to the other side.

_"He was not the target. I think they were originally here looking for another biosynth."_

The name _Max_ was left unsaid.

 

"I don't think I want to eat barbecue ever again," Alec announced as soon as he closed the door. He sniffed his jacket and made a face. 

"Or fried chicken. Is that weird? That guy smelled nothing like…" Alec stopped by the kitchen island. Logan sat in front of the fridge. He was staring at it.

"You okay?" Alec asked as he set down the take out bags.

Logan stirred. "Huh? Oh, just wondering what we should have for dinner."

Alec poked the bags on the counter. "I'm hoping Chinese because I don't think this stuff can survive too long in there." He plucked up a citrus smelling carton. 

"Orange beef? And I checked. It really is beef. Moo."

"That's right. We bought…uh…" Logan chuckled awkwardly. "Dining table all right? Or we can eat by the couch again. I found a couple of movies you might like."

"Logan."

Back to Alec, Logan's shoulders slumped.

Alec breathed out sharply. "What's going on?"

Back still to Alec, Logan rolled his shoulders back. He tried to peer into the fridge again but gave up. He took his time closing the door, his chair going back. When he turned again, he appeared resigned to find Alec still staring and waiting.

"I think my uncle hired them to kill me," Logan murmured.

Hearing Logan say it somehow made it real; more so, like a thrumming under Alec's skin, vibrating for him to react.

Alec swallowed. "You sure? Your buddy thinks they're trying to find Manticore alumni."

Logan went to the lower cabinets of the island. He pulled out more plates than they needed, but Alec didn't stop him. 

"They were here since last year. Plenty of opportunities to try before. They could still be trying to find a fix, but in the meantime, it looks like they're running a side operation of assassinations to keep them solvent."

"More likely whoever their handler is," Alec added.

Logan nodded jerkily. He veered into the dining room, stopped, backtracked then aimed for the couch. He stopped again.

"I don't know my uncle anymore," Logan said. He wheeled himself over to the couch.

Alec wished he could say something, something that would fix it like tape to a slashed tire. But he found himself at a loss for words. He picked up the food and headed over instead.

 

Dinner was a quiet affair. And while Logan ate a good portion of his food, Alec noted it was done automatically. Alec doubted Logan even knew what he tasted.

Leftovers put away; they went into the shower together. Logan revived a bit then, his eyes focused as his hands roamed Alec's body, searching for hurt. He lingered on Alec's once broken hand. He kissed every knuckle. It felt like he was apologizing.

Alec did the same: hands spread over Logan, over the too warm and tender spots, down Logan's hair, carefully over the red band around Logan's throat. 

They stayed silent, touching, not kissing. And when done, Alec dried Logan off. He took his time. Logan did the same with him. By unspoken agreement, they went to bed. Alec tucked Logan into him, his back warm on Logan's broad back. Alec thought about family and slaps and shadows stalking Logan. He pulled Logan even closer and tried to let Logan's steady breathing lull him to sleep.

 

The nightmares weren't a surprise. 

Who had it, was.

"Sorry. Sorry," Alec gasped. "Ah fuck, not agai—Sorry." He pulled his face from where he had crushed it into. Logan's shoulder was red, the mark already fading. Alec jolted awake when he heard the pained grunt; he had wrapped his arms a little too tight around Logan's healing ribs. 

Alec carefully settled Logan on his back before he sat up in the bed. He shivered.

"I'm all right," Logan panted. "Just need to catch my breath." He pressed a hand to his diaphragm, covering the purple blotches painted on his sides. 

Alec pulled his knees up. He dropped his face on his knees and took deep cleansing breaths. Or at least he tried.

A hand tentatively touched the curve of his spine. He flinched. The hand felt hot like a branding iron.

Logan's hand snatched back.

Alec smoothed his hand down Logan's chest. He lingered on the crisp chest hair, giving the spot a light scratch.

"I'm gonna…" Alec dipped his head and brushed his mouth across Logan's. "Go back to sleep. I'm gonna play peeping tom on your neighbors for a bit."

Logan's brow furrowed. "Alec…"

"No, no, I…I need to settle down before I go back to bed. Otherwise, I'll be molesting you in my sleep again." Alec reluctantly pulled his hand away. He let his fingertips trail over a nipple, over a bicep before he climbed out of bed. He shook out his boxers, put them on and padded out of the bedroom, all the while feeling Logan's eyes on the back of his head.

 

Logan's neighbors were boring.

Alec sat on Logan's couch, half sliding down, his legs spread, his arms folded over his stomach. He watched the building across from Logan. 

The bedroom door opened. Alec closed his eyes, unsurprised yet the sound of the tread across carpet knotted his insides the closer it came.

Logan had copied Alec and pulled on boxers. He wheeled closer. He said nothing.

Alec heard the soft grunts as Logan transferred over to the couch. He felt the cushions dip as Logan situated himself next to Alec.

Something sharp and almost metal tasting unraveled in Alec's chest when Logan's shoulder rested next to him. He opened his eyes. He glanced over, but Logan was looking out the windows. Alec faced forward and did the same.

Together, the two watched nothing in particular.

It was still night in Seattle, still late enough for the slit of the moon to shine dominant in the sky and drown out all the stars. The penthouse windows were airtight, but Alec could still make out the strains of the city beyond them. It didn't matter what time it was; someone somewhere was bound to be fighting for every piece they could have.

Logan's arm was flushed against his; his fingers were loosely curled between them. He made no move to touch Alec. He made no move to talk to Alec. 

"So what are our neighbors doing?" Logan murmured, his eyes fixed forward.

Alec leaned forward, squinted and grunted.

"Doing unspeakable things to his wife with that cucumber. Kinda hot."

Logan barked out a laugh. He bumped shoulders with Alec.

Alec sagged back, leaning briefly against Logan. 

Logan kissed Alec on top of his head and went back to watching nothing.

"Well…That date last night kinda sucked, huh?" Alec murmured. He tracked the teeny red blinking lights slipping across the sky. He wondered what rich dude was able to afford that. He wondered if Manticore got around to mixing up an upgraded X series who can look up and see that high up. 

"I don't know," Logan said lightly. "Getting hunted down by suicidal former death row inmates made for an interesting date."

Alec scoffed. "Sung and Phil didn't seem to think so when they got to your buddy's place."

"I think it has more to do with asking them to dispose of what was left of, uh…"

"Tres."

"Huh?"

"Never mind." Alec slipped his arm around Logan's middle. He palmed Logan's ribs and stayed slumped against Logan, feeling him breathe against his palm. 

"They got the drop on us yesterday," Alec whispered. His throat squeezed at the memory of feeling too slow, too inadequate and too far away. He swallowed. "I almost didn't—"

"Don't." Logan leaned heavily against Alec. Alec savored the solid feel of Logan.

"So ah…" Alec rubbed his hand up and down Logan's side. He felt a chest expand with breath and found it easier to breathe himself.

"I guess a second date is out, huh?"

Logan snorted. "Maybe after we recover from this one? Maybe one more day of sleeping in. Less homicidal mercenaries, please."

"Yea. They're _so_ not invited next time." 

Logan's chuckles rumbled against Alec's side. He closed his eyes and let the vibrations wash over him. 

"That wasn't how I planned it," Alec admitted. "There was going to be a spin around the park behind your place before heading back up here. Ice packs and aspirin weren't in the original plans."

"A spin around the park? After curfew?" Logan knocked their shoulders together again. "You live dangerously."

"Sorry, _Eyes Only_ , I think that's you."

Logan shrugged carefully.

Alec turned and kissed the ball of Logan's shoulder. Logan tentatively dropped an arm around Alec's shoulders. Alec tightened the one around Logan's middle. He heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Am I hurting you?" Alec wanted to pull Logan closer. He wanted to count the ribs, count the cluster of freckles and measure the whitish scars along his spine. 

"Never," Logan said immediately.

"I was talking about your ribs."

"I was talking about everything else, Alec."

Alec wasn't sure of what to say. He wanted to recite the list he kept in his head; a mental tally of all the hurts and bruises he left on Logan's skin. He hadn't stop counting since the first time he laid hands on Logan, back when he thought Logan had sold him out to Lydecker. He kept a ledger, marked in red, ever since a bag of tryptophan tumbled out of his pocket. 

Logan, maybe sensing the turmoil souring Alec's insides, dropped another kiss on Alec's head. He kept his arm around Alec. His arm, first loose with uncertainty, was now stretched around Alec, keeping him tucked to his side.

It was weird sitting on the couch, skin to skin, body heat warm enough to make Alec sweat, yet he didn't feel the usual hunger to taste and kiss. He felt loose limbed, fuzzy in his belly and strangely lethargic. But he didn't question it. Alec didn't want it to end.

Despite Alec's wishes, the longer they sat there, the more Logan's hand idly wrote symbols on Alec's shoulder, the question that nagged him since Sebastian's kept intruding. 

"I don't get it," Alec exhaled. 

Logan made a questioning sound.

Alec stared balefully at the windows.

"It's been bothering you," Logan murmured. He rubbed Alec's shoulder in soothing circles. 

"Hell, yea, I planned that date thing for a long time." 

"Alec."

Jaw set, Alec kept glaring at the window. Everyone across the building were asleep. Like him and Logan should be.

Logan continued writing cryptic answers on Alec's skin.

"How…" Alec croaked. "How the hell does anyone let Big Brother go fuck around with your body like that? Willingly become a monster?"

Logan murmured inaudibly and tugged Alec nearer.

Alec pulled Logan closer in return. He rested his cheek on Logan's arm and turned to watch Logan's chest expand and fill with life.

"I mean, your friend said, what was it? Six months?"

"A year, tops," Logan correctly darkly. His throat worked. "One year."

"A year." The building across from them blurred. Alec blinked rapidly. "They stepped up, volunteered to become monsters like me, in exchange for no death row? No chair? No needles?"

"You're not a monster."

"We were both screwed around by our governments. We were both engineered to be very good at killing."

Logan's fingers pressed into Alec's shoulder. "It's not the same."

Alec grunted.

"Alec, it's not." Logan exhaled. "You didn't choose to be the way you were. Manti—they had you at birth. These men…they had a choice: the implant or the chair."

"I would have picked the chair," Alec muttered to himself, but when Logan stiffened against him, Alec knew Logan heard him.

"You got away; you made the choice to be your own person, to be more than what they had intended." Logan pulled away to look at Alec in the eyes. 

"You're probably more human than any one of us."

Alec wanted to roll his eyes, but he froze at the look Logan gave him. Unblinking, dark, so god damn sure. Alec's breath caught. 

Logan cupped Alec's face. "I know it'll take a long time to convince you that you're not a monster, but I'm willing to try. For as long as you'll let me."

The hand on Alec's jaw felt hot, its heat seeping into his core, tendrils igniting more blooms of heat everywhere it touched. His insides twisted, writhed as if he hadn't eaten in days. The longer he felt Logan's heat on him, the more he craved for…so much more.

Alec placed a hand over Logan's, keeping it on his face. He leaned in and gingerly brushed his mouth over Logan's. 

Logan's mouth parted in invitation. Alec pressed in, tongue seeking, tasting. Logan's hand dropped from Alec's jaw to curl around Alec's neck, instinctively over the bar code, covering it from mean, all-seeing eyes. It was a quiet claim of ownership; no one else was allowed to touch Alec's mark. No one else.

Alec turned Logan in his arms as they sank back across the length of the couch. Alec could feel Logan watching him as he slipped an arm under Logan's knees and pulled his legs to stretch out under Alec.

"You're so perfect," Alec murmured to Logan's skin as he nipped his way up from Logan's belly button to Logan's mouth. "You taste so good." He framed Logan's shoulders with his hands. He pulled Logan up, brought a heaving chest to his mouth, careful not to put pressure on his ribs and latched onto a teat. Alec teased the nipple, laved and nipped and suckled until Logan's hands clawed the back of his arms. Then, as fingers dug painfully into Alec's biceps, he moved on to the other.

Logan gasped out Alec's name again and again as he hung off Alec's arms. He shuddered, his upper body writhing. He looked like he was unsure if he wanted to crush Alec closer or get away from Alec's mouth. His stomach fluttered as he panted, hot against Alec's crotch.

Alec's boxers tented on contact. He rocked his covered erection into Logan's stomach. He still held Logan up by his shoulders, his mouth latched on to Logan's throat now. He pulled back with a wet _pop_ to admire the red mark there. Because it wasn't a bruise like the others. This was his mark on Logan. A mark no one else can give.

With a growl, Alec dove in. 

Logan shuddered. His boxers slipped lower and lower to his thighs as they swayed on the couch, as Alec ground his cock into Logan's body, pressing him deeper into the cushions.

It wasn't enough. It wasn't. Alec tasted the salty sweetness of Logan's skin. He felt the weak stream of come damping their bellies. He felt cotton tore in his hands as he ripped their boxers off. He felt Logan breathe against him; here and whole and _alive_. He felt Logan underneath him, his heart hammering like it was fight or flight. Yet Logan's hands curled on Alec's arms chanted _staystaystay_.

It wasn't enough.

Alec's eyes burned. His skin burned. His _cock_ burned. The more he touched; the more it became _not enough_. 

"Logan," Alec pleaded, but he wasn't sure for what. He was afraid to look deeper in himself to find out.

Logan raised his head obligingly towards Alec. His eyes fell shut when their mouths sealed. 

Hands swept over bodies; limbs flexing and wounding to wrap. Their bodies settled on the couch, their movements gentled. It felt like a pause hung over them. It felt like the very room around them held its breath, waiting.

Alec felt Logan tracing the shape of his brow with his mouth. He smoothed a thumb under the seam of Logan's mouth. He felt that mouth part once more. He felt the warm exhale when Logan murmured his name. 

Logan pried a hand off Alec's arm with a faint pat over what Alec suspected where bruises. Logan curled fingers around Alec's wrist and pulled, lower and lower, between their bodies, under Logan's balls and…

Yes. 

Alec's throat closed up. Logan's grip kept his hand there, between Logan's legs, under the velvety weight of his sac, just shy of the puckered entrance.

Words died in Alec's throat. He could only nod. Deep down, a voice insisted something should be said. The voice was stifled when Logan reached under the cushions with his other hand and pulled out very familiar packets. 

Here. Alec should say something now, throw in a leer because Logan stashed lube and condoms under the couch cushions and how sexy was that and they should be playing porn soundtracks because it didn't get any more po—

 _Shut the hell up, Alec._  
  
Thoughts fled. Words evaporated. Vision misted over. All Alec could think of was yes. _Yes_. This. This was what was missing right now. This is what his skin, his bones, his body ached for.

Without pulling away, Alec blindly reached for the packets of lube and condom.

As Alec carefully parted Logan's legs wider to kneel in-between, he felt Logan's eyes on him. Specifically, on his flushed cock leaking against his stomach. Logan reached out. 

Alec wasn't sure if he wanted to lean into the callused touch or away before it was over too soon. The silent stare, though, made it a near thing. He avoided the heated gaze as he carefully lifted Logan's hips to tuck one of the throw pillows under his lower back. Done, Alec sat back on his haunches. He nearly came from the image before him. 

Logan lay under Alec, naked, his limbs loose and spread like an offering. His skin was pink in spots either from hurts or Alec's mouth. He looked…he looked far more exposed than Alec had ever seen him. But unafraid.

It was the lack of fear that humbled Alec; it kept him from surging forward to take what lay before him.

"It'll hurt at first," Alec murmured. Suddenly, Alec was painfully aware of how he must look: on his knees between Logan's legs, his cock large, maybe too large—oh God, he might tear Logan apart—dripping pre-come on Logan's abdomen, marking the body as his. 

Alec hunched forward. He cupped Logan's face with both hands. He kissed the other deeply as he rolled his hips into Logan's abdomen. 

"I'll make it better, though," Alec whispered as he nipped his way down the side of Logan's face. "It'll hurt a little, but it'll get better. I swear it'll feel good for you. I'll make sure. I w-will." 

Hands tentatively confiscated the packets Alec left trapped between their bodies. Alec held his breath as he felt Logan roll the condom over his rigid cock, barely letting it snap over the sensitized flesh. 

"You b-bitch," Alec breathed, "You've done this before, haven't you?" 

A strangled chuckle replied. 

Alec chewed his lower lip to stifle the whimper when Logan's hands curled around Alec. Hands slicked up with lube; Logan smeared it over Alec's dick with light touches. 

"No," Alec gasped as he straightened away from Logan's hands with regret. "Better not." He moaned when Logan pulled away, only to settle lube damp hands on Alec's thighs. The hands lingered to make tantalizing circles around Alec's quads, moving up to the fold between hip and thigh. 

"Fuck," Alec whimpered as he rocked away from the touch. 

"That's the idea," Logan said lightly. His voice wobbled too much to be glib. 

Alec huffed out an unsteady sound. He fumbled to tear the last packet of lube and squeezed the gel over trembling fingers. It took two tries. 

Logan's mouth parted as Alec's finger breached him. He kept his eyes closed as he tried to map out where Alec's finger was. 

"Alec," Logan murmured, unsure. His eyes opened; they were very green, very wide. "I..." 

"I'm not trying to go too deep or too hard," Alec assured him. "That's why you don't feel it as much. I'm trying to loosen you up first." He gulped as he added another finger. "You're really tight." 

Logan waved vaguely towards himself. Alec nodded shakily. 

"I mean," Alec stammered as he stroked the slicked insides with three fingers, the lube warming on contact. Logan was tight around him, a constricting liquid heat that seemed to go to Alec's cock at the thought it around his cock. Was Logan ever this tight before? 

"You..." Alec struggled to continue. His throat felt too small for his words. "You were always tight. And you felt good, so good, babe, but fingers are way different than a dick. It's like trying to—" 

"Alec?" Logan groaned as Alec's fingers lanced across the sensitive gland inside. 

"Yeah?" 

"I thought you were going to show me, not narrate through it." Logan's cheeks flushed as his head lolled to consider Alec. His hand drifted down to Alec's cupped between his parted legs. Tentative fingers traced where they were joined. 

"We both know I'm always going to be too tight," Logan murmured. His index finger, the one with the callus that always traced the underside of Alec's cock, skimmed the spot where Alec's fingers connected with him. He prodded, pushed and coaxed Alec's digits in deeper.

Together, Alec and Logan moaned. When Alec carefully scissored his fingers, he felt Logan weakly clench around him. A band constricted around Alec's head.

When Alec carefully pulled his fingers away, they felt cold and ached with the loss. Logan breathed out slowly a low and disappointed sound.

"I felt that," Logan whispered. "When you left." He made a face. "I didn't like that. Never did."

Alec kissed Logan in apology.

Logan sighed against Alec's mouth.

Alec felt the weight of Logan's knee against his flank. He felt his sweat trickling down the limb as he leaned in. He folded Logan's knee and pinned it between him and the couch. Somehow, it seemed right tucked against him. A well of something soft, something overwhelming and warm cascaded through Alec when he gazed down at Logan. And suddenly, he really needed to say something. Anything.

"Hey, Heather," Alec whispered. Inside, he flinched because, really? 

Logan's eyes crinkled at the corners. He looked at ease despite lying there, spread so open, so vulnerable. He reached up, his hand steadier than Alec's as he stroked Alec's bare flank.

"Hey yourself, Dean."

Alec bit his lower lip as he guided the head of his cock. He felt Logan's stare on his bowed head; when he looked up to smile reassuringly at the other, Logan smiled back. 

The tremors in Alec's hand worsened as if the tryptophan he took a few days ago was squat, expired, but no. Logan always made a point to get a new supply, even if the remainder was only a week off. Alec once caught him tossing the only recently expired pills when he thought Alec wasn't looking. 

The memory steadied Alec's hand. A ripple of warmth wove around his hand, stilling the shakes and filled him with resolve. This would be better for Logan. No mission prep to seduce a politician. There was no dark room, no voice out of the ceiling, no hum of sterile air recycling into the training room. 

No. 

Alec curled a hand around Logan's side. He felt obliques flex. Not in reaction to any sensation, but bracing for the lack of one. 

All of the sudden, Alec wanted to stop. Because Logan was healing even if he insisted he was better now. Because they didn't need this. He wanted to kiss up to Logan's mouth, let the other taste him. He wanted to brush a hand down Logan's sides, glide over the satin heat of Logan's skin. But he also wanted the shadow always lurking in Logan's gaze gone; always wondering, questioning, always fearing. 

"I got you," Alec murmured. He smoothed his thumb over the thin skin stretched over the entrance. He leaned forward and his cock met the expected resistance. He brushed a finger on the puckered ring before pressing in again. 

Logan twitched. 

Alec almost reared back. "You okay? Is it your ribs?" 

Logan stared up at the ceiling, silently gauging. His brow knitted. Slowly, he shook his head. 

The wire wrapped around Alec's chest started choking Alec. 

"Shit, if I'm hurting you, if you feel even a little bit of—" 

"Alec." Logan reached out a hand. Alec captured it immediately. Their hands settled on Logan's stomach. 

"It wasn't pain." Logan squeezed Alec's cold fingers. "I thought I felt...you." 

Alec swallowed. "Oh. G-good. I mean, that's…that's great. Me? Did you mean me as in me or as in _Me_?" 

Logan's brow knitted together. "Huh?" He tugged their combined hands up to his chest, pulling Alec closer. 

Hint taken, Alec leaned in, fingers still trembling as he guided the head of his cock against the entrance again. 

Tight muscles squeezed the tip of Alec's cock with scalding resistance. Logan fidgeted around his shoulders. Even he can't mistake the insistent pressure to be anything else. 

The band around Alec's head shrank the more he pressed in or tried. Jesus, Logan was _tight_ , tighter than he ever was. Fuck, Alec should have tried to loosen him more. He should have taken it slower. They shouldn't be doing this. They—

A shiver seemed to coil around Alec's cock as the blunt head finally breached the opening. Alec sank in an inch. He wanted to breathe out in relief and pull out. 

"You okay?" Alec asked, strained because it was like sinking into Logan's hot mouth. He could feel the heat even through the condom. The urge to thrust thrummed in the back of his hips. His thighs quivered from trying to hold still. 

"Are you?" Logan countered breathlessly. He closed his eyes. He breathed out slowly. 

"Talk to me," Alec pleaded, "Don't let me hurt you. What are you feeling?" 

Logan dragged their clasped hands down to his groin. Logan's cock rose shyly, brushing against Alec's knuckles. 

"Here," Logan gasped. He opened his eyes and fixed them on Alec. "I feel you. Here." 

Alec clutched Logan's fingers. He felt the bristly points of the dark hair, the velvety silk of Logan's cock. He let himself sink another inch. He watched their hands move up a fraction. 

"What do I feel like?" Alec whispered as he leaned in, sliding deeper into Logan's body, their hands crawling up into the dark tangle of Logan's groin. 

"You...you..." Logan swallowed. Alec stared, transfixed, as Logan's Adam's apple moved. 

"It's vague, it's..." Logan shuddered when Alec was halfway in. "It feels like you're everywhere. It feels like—oh _God—_ "He jammed their combined hands to a spot below his belly button.

"You feel like you're here," Logan moaned, "you feel like you're everywhere." His free hand clawed the couch under him. "You feel big." His mouth opened and closed. "You feel lik— _Alec_." 

Alec whimpered. "You are so goddamn tight and not tight enough," he told Logan as he struggled to slide completely in. "Fuck, you're such a contra...contra..." Crap, what was the word? 

Logan didn't help Alec. His neck arched in a strong corded line. His breath was harsh, loud and hung raw between them. He held Alec's hand tight to his belly, to the point Alec was sure he'll feel his own dick sliding home, deeper into—

Together, Alec and Logan groaned as Alec sheathed completely into Logan's body. Fire rippled from Alec's cock, down to his tailbone, boiling every bit of skin as he drowned in the most intoxicating sensation he has ever felt. 

Alec held still to let Logan adjust. Logan pulsed around his cock. Alec's skin thrummed, shrinking around him.

Logan panted, his grasp around Alec's fingers loosening. 

"Babe," Alec pleaded, because while he wanted to thrust, cut into that breathtaking heat, Logan's silence unnerved him. "What are you feeling?"

Logan's fingers squeezed hard enough to crush Alec's fingers. 

"Logan, does it hurt? I swear to God, talk to me, you promised you wouldn't let me hurt you—"

Logan grimaced. 

"It doesn't hurt now," Logan murmured.

The furrow between Logan's brow screamed otherwise. Alec carefully rolled his hips back to withdraw when Logan whimpered.

"No," Logan said. "No. It burned a little in the beginning, but—damn it—will you _move_?"

Alec froze. "Huh?"

Logan's eyes flew open. His hand uncurled from the cushion and clamped around the back of Alec's thigh. He pulled, pushing Alec as he weakly tried to lift up his pelvis. 

Oh.

Alec gingerly gave a little thrust. He gasped, his own voice nearly drowning out Logan's groan because this, _this_. 

A _click_ thrummed in Alec's head, as loud as the echo of Lydecker's stopwatch, but sang sweeter in Alec's ears. When his hips rolled forward again, deeper into the unique clench of Logan's body around him, something felt _right_. So god damn right and perfect and sweet and sharp and—

The next thrust was bolder. Logan's sounds took on a hungrier edge. He held their combined fists higher. He drew their clasped hands over his thumping heart.

"Here," Logan breathed. "I want to feel it here."

Alec tried.

Somewhere in-between caution and want, Alec's pace quickened. Logan's cries rose, breathy, wordless, needing, wanting, demanding, surrounding. They swirled around Alec, filled his veins and he found he couldn't, _can't_ stop.

"Logan!" Alec gasped out. But he wasn't sure if it was a warning. Or a plea. Maybe it was both. Because as his hips snapped forward, Logan held on to their hands to his chest as he chanted yes over and over again.

Raw. 

It's how Alec felt as he leaned in, gathering up Logan as careful as he could with his free arm. He felt himself moving, far harder and deeper he knew was advised. Logan's hand clawed Alec's thigh in a demand for more. His grip drew blood, but Alec didn't care. He couldn't. There was no room for anything else besides Logan. Logan's body, the fire around Alec's cock, the needy breathless sounds Logan made…

White flared behind Alec's eyes, brighter than he knew was possible, bright enough to prick at the corners of his eyes. He came. He came hard and no, he wanted to let Logan come first, give this to Logan.

"Sorry, I'm sorry," Alec choked as he fell onto Logan, his hips still jerking forward in tiny, frantic thrusts. He was already hard again, pistoning into Logan and he wanted to give this to Logan. Let Logan come first, but instead he selfishly took and took.

Alec pressed burning eyes into Logan's shoulder. He felt their hands pinned between their bodies; Logan never released them.

"Move," Logan begged. "Alec. Please…"

Alec obliged because he was a greedy bastard because his cock was full, hard, filling Logan and still moving because it wasn't enough. Damn it, 494, how was it not enough? He whimpered, nonsensical words in Logan's ear as he squashed Logan to the couch and just took everything Logan offered him. Alec dove into him as he wrapped a hand around Logan's weeping and fully erect cock.

With a shudder, Logan came at one particularly hard thrust. He _wailed_ when he came again as Alec continued to drive into his trembling body. It felt like a sweet hurt when he finally slowed his thrusts. And when he withdrew, Logan made a disappointed sound that tempted Alec to sink deep into Logan's body again.

Alec lay on top of Logan, too winded to try and ease his weight off Logan's ribs. Ragged breaths filled his ears.

A knot hardened in Alec's chest. Was it good? Did Logan's ribs hurt? Was Logan bleeding? 

Logan kissed the corner of Alec's mouth. 

"Thank you."

Speechless, Alec buried his face into Logan's throat. Logan released Alec's hand and wrapped both of his around Alec's shoulders. Logan whispered into Alec's ear, recounting what he liked best, how it only hurt when Alec was gone inside him and left him empty. 

A stinging pain, an echo of a hurt, phantom welts of straps that held Alec down, faded, twinging vaguely like a healing cut. Alec hugged Logan to him, wrapped his legs around Logan's and felt Logan wiggle to get just as close.

"Let me take you to bed," Alec whispered. 

Logan curled into Alec and nodded.

 

The second time around felt like the first. And uniquely like nothing else because this time, they were doing it again. Again, like it was something they knew they'll always do. Sinking back into Logan's dark heat felt like a revelation. Curled around Logan's back as Alec thrust felt like something bright and new and beautiful. As they lay on their sides, their bodies swaying languidly on the bed; it felt like a promise.

Alec's eyes burned for some reason. He pressed them between Logan's shoulders as he rocked slow and deep into Logan's body. He echoed Logan's words, "Thank you, thank you" over and over as he thrust.

Logan held on their hands, over his heart again. He said nothing, but his skin tasted content, it tasted of Alec's, of Logan's, of them. 

This time, Alec and Logan came together. This time, they didn't shout. They breathed out each other's name. If there was such thing as magic, Alec thought it sounded like they completed an incantation. A spell uttered to bind them both. Complete, locking into place and everything that Alec imagined could feel right absolutely did.

Logan drifted asleep in Alec's arms. Alec stayed up to memorize the flushes on Logan's skin. After a few hours, Alec eased Logan to his back. He kissed the tiny furrow on Logan's sleeping face. He kissed the downward tilt of Logan's lips. He kissed every spot that twitched as he wiggled free from their entangled limbs. He dropped one more kiss to Logan's eyes as he eased off the bed.

Alec ended up walking backwards out of the bedroom, his eyes on Logan as he silently picked up his discarded clothing. He swallowed hard as he slipped out the window. 

The sun was creeping up, warming Seattle's streets as Alec rappelled down the building with a purpose in mind.

Hours later, Logan woke up alone in his bed. He burst out laughing when he realized he was covered with a hundred tiny pink birthday candles, three jars worth of 14K's floral potpourri, Alec grinning wolfishly at the foot of the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've repeatedly bemoaned this was the hardest scent to write. I can now confidently say the last scene was. I flailed between seven versions of Alec and Logan coming together, because this wasn't a matter of a first for Logan, but for Alec as well. 
> 
> I hope I succeeded.
> 
> Biggest hurtle (for them AND for me) is over, the plot, actual plot thickens as we zoom to the end of Book 2.
> 
> Bear with me. Almost there...


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sex. Lots of sex. And Alec's past training rears its ugly head. Implied dub-con, underaged sex.

There was a rose petal on Logan's cheek.

Alec grinned as he considered the man next to him. He plucked out the potpourri flake and flicked it to the side with the rest of the stragglers he found. He ruffled Logan's brown bed head. 

Done, Alec rested his chin on the heel of his hand, his elbow bent to prop him off the mattress. 

After finding Alec's impromptu gift—and promptly making Alec clean it all up, _spoilsport_ —Logan and Alec had agreed a few more hours of sleep was in order.

Well, they _did_ sleep. 

Eventually. 

Alec hovered a light finger from the top of Logan's head, down to his scruffy jaw, down to his chin where there was a faint divot under the seam of his lower lip. Logan had sheepishly confessed it was from a misguided romantic gesture of climbing up a rose trellis, a carnation tucked in his shirt and too many beers sloshing in his belly. The pursued girl wasn't amused (especially since she was busy being _pursued_ by another); the RA for the dorms wasn't amused as well.

Logan furrowed his brow, his mouth parting in a sleepy mutter as Alec traced the shape of his jaw and mouth again. 

It was rare for Logan to sleep so soundly, his forehead smooth and unworried. There was something about the way Logan slept, his arms boneless, his shoulders broad and loose against the sheets. Even with the straight, almost too straight position of his legs, Logan was the image of a wanton sprawl. He looked like he was spilled onto the bed, begging to be gathered up to a warm body.

Logan made a sleepy snort; his slightly congested nose gave it a whistling quality that made Alec grin. He tapped Logan's nose with a finger. He snickered when Logan's nose wrinkled in response.

"Sh," Alec murmured. "Go back to sleep, babe."

With a sigh, Logan settled.

Time was at a standstill around them. There was something quiet about lying here in the dark. It felt like time suspended over their heads, waiting for permission to start again. Alec felt a twist in his insides at the thought. He liked the idea that everything stopped. They were hidden away, where time forgot; here, in the bed, with Logan. No _Eyes Only_ , no Manticore, no 494. Just them; Dean and Heather.

Even though the clock on the nightstand gleamed the hour, it felt neither day or night in here. Alec knew the moment Logan was awake, though; the day would snap back on track.

Alec's smile faded.

What then?

Alec eased down to lie prone next to Logan, his chin pillowed by his arms. He considered Logan, his eyes tracing the Logan's profile. It was both strong and vulnerable at the same time. Well, at least to him.

"What now?" Alec murmured. "Is something different now?" He shook his head. Of course, it was different now. They've truly taken a step more to somewhere. Logan let Alec slip into his body, believing Alec could make it better, believing it wouldn't hurt. Believing if he wanted 494 to stop, it would. But Logan didn't want to stop and Alec kept falling deeper into Logan that felt both endless and too short at the same time.

Alec fidgeted. His cock stirred. It was both painful and a relief to lie on his stomach down on the mattress. His dick filled at the memory of sliding into Logan; the warm clutch pulsed around Alec's cock was nothing he thought it would ever feel like. Dark heat had throbbed around Alec's erection, telegraphing a message Alec was afraid to translate. Yet he wanted to stay dovetailed with Logan, fitting like he belonged in this screwed up world with all the messy emotions a real boy would have. And maybe feel what a real boy would feel, where sex and death weren't interchangeable and—

_Zip it, 494._

Something hot pricked at the corners of Alec's eyes. He absently rubbed his nose over his folded arms.

Something changed. Or something _should_ change. Right? They took the next step, or so the cliché dictates, so what now?

Alec supposed whatever it was between him and Logan would adjust, adapt to the newest dimension added to the jumble of what they have. He's been through a lot of morning-after awkwardness with whoever he'd hooked up with; he hoped Logan wouldn't wake up distant or bored, already trying to hurry Alec out of bed—

No.

Not Logan, Alec decided. He gazed at Logan with a small smile. He brushed a palm across Logan's bangs, snickering when it freed yet another tiny rose petal.

Alec knew Logan wasn't going to be one of those who wake up already regretting, desperately trying to politely kick Alec out of his bed. Not that Alec minded before. He usually needed a bed to squat for the night. He knew how to sway someone to slip a little extra tryptophan or cash his way or let him stay the night, borrow their shower to purge the ickiness too many Fifties tended to give him. Whoever he had picked up normally wanted Alec to leave in the morning. Alec was okay with that because he didn't want to stay.

But Alec wanted to stay this time. He wanted to lie on his side, run his hand down smooth skin and watch Logan wake up. He wanted to kiss Logan and his morning breath and run a possessive hand down the sleek line of Logan's back. He wanted…he wanted a lot of things. What he wanted hung heavy on his tongue, unfamiliar tasting and bittersweet. 

Alec ran his tongue around the cavern of his own mouth. He studied the shape of Logan's. The lower lip was lush, pink from when Alec had nibbled—

"I can feel you molesting me with your eyes, Alec."

Alec started because _shit_ , he didn't notice Logan's breath quicken or his muscles minutely flexing or…

A hand drifted over and dropped on top of Alec's head. 

Thoughts evaporated. Alec swallowed a groan as Logan, eyes still closed, gave him an idle head scratch. His long fingers pressed into Alec's scalp and tiptoed down to a spot behind Alec's ear, the hint of a nail skimming the thin skin stretched over the auditory part of the temporal bone, more specifically, the uh, the…

Alec groaned. He pressed his eyes over his folded arms as Logan's wicked massage sent ripples of pleasure down his back, flaring at end of his tailbone, pooling heat in his groin.

The bed creaked as Alec humped his erection into the mattress with frantic little snaps.

"Huh," Logan murmured, eyes shut, fingers pure evil, his mouth crooked. "Interesting."

Alec grunted as his hips rocked deeper into the bed. Logan bobbed up and down as the mattress dipped.

"You," Alec accused breathlessly, but he didn't finish his threat as Logan's fingers slipped down to the back of his ear, the side of his neck and traced the edges of his bar code without having to look.

With a groan, Alec came in a rush of heat that left him dizzy and unsatisfied. He eased off from the wet spot and straddled Logan.

Logan blinked up at him, half mast eyes travelling up and down Alec's face.

No. Logan was not like everyone else. He's better. 

Alec felt the uneasy stirring in his stomach calm. He cupped Logan's face with his hands. Whatever comes next, Alec was going to hold on with both hands. 

"Hey," Alec murmured. There was so much he wanted to say, yet this felt like the only thing to say.

Logan stared up, further awake, his eyes clear and bright and focused on Alec.

Green eyes crinkled into gems as Logan smiled.

"Hey."

And somehow, that felt so god damn right. 

 

"Flowers?" Sung repeated. 

Sung and Phil exchanged a look. Burrito and gyro were forgotten.

Very deliberately, Sung set down his lunch on the weathered picnic table that survived the city park's neglect and sub sequential scavenger raids for anything sellable.

Not to be out done, Phil hastily wiped his mouth free of hot sauce and set his food down as well. He stared unblinkingly at Alec, his round face expectant.

Alec rolled his eyes. "Never mind. It was just a question."

Sung looked pained. "Well, _my_ question is how did we went from Phil's—"

"Street Sweeper."

"…fine, _Street Sweeper's_ report on the assistant DA to whether you should get Logan flowers?" Sung gave Alec the stink eye.

Phil squinted at Alec. "Are you still trying to woo him? I thought you two were already enjoying the carnal pleasures of—"

"Whoa, whoa!"

"I didn't need to know that!"

Sung and Alec simultaneously wildly flapped their hands at Phil. Alec, because seriously? Woo? Wha? Wait! And Sung, because the detective, for whatever reason, was content in thinking of him and Logan only in a non-sexy sort of way.

"I'm wondering, after our date last week, maybe I should, I don't know, get him some flowers and stuff." Since Alec did, well, became Logan's first. Like, for real, first. But he wasn't going to share that detail with anyone.

"I mean, we've done stuff before, but never officially went out on an actual date before we tear each other's clothes off. It's usual eat, naked and—" Alec glowered at the pair looking everywhere but him.

"Are you guys even listening?"

Sung held his forehead up with a hand.

"Still don't want to know," Sung bemoaned. "Can we go back to _Eyes Only_ or Jonas Cale? Please?"

"Seriously, you're a detective. You're, like, ancient. You've seen the worse Seattle's has to offer and you're squeamish about _this_?"

"I don't want to associate Logan with sex."

A growl rumbled in Alec's throat. Sung has a point.

"You better not."

 

"Thanks for the flower?"

Logan left it as a question mark, punctuated by an arched eyebrow that echoed his bemusement. He made a show of putting the dark red rose in one of their lesbian vases. It looked woeful, stooping in its long stem in a vase meant to hold a dozen.

"Welcome," Alec said brightly. "Phil got it out of Sparks's garden after he was done trailing guy." Actually, Phil got a bunch for Original Cindy; Alec hasn't the heart to tell him he was barking up the wrong gender.

Logan frowned into the fridge. "Speaking of which. Did he see anything?"

"He took a couple of pictures of Sparks accepting some envelopes, but no cash was visible." Alec shrugged. "Could be bribes."

"Maybe," Logan murmured. He reached into the fridge. He made an inquiring noise towards Alec, a long baguette loaf in his hands. He smirked when Alec eagerly nodded his head; Logan pulled out garlic and butter as well.

"I'll have Matt check the courts. I'll see if the filings line up with any deposits Sparks made." Logan frowned; he missed his daily quota of taking down bad guys.

"Shoot," Alec mourned. "So no _Eyes Only_ hack tonight?" 

"Tomorrow if everything pans out and no, I'm not doing it naked."

"Just your shirt off?"

"No."

"Your jeans? You only film the eyes anyway. You could totally go free down there. I could just kneel out of sight and—"

"Alec!" Logan sputtered around his chuckles. "No!"

"Aw, you're no fun," Alec pretended to grumble. His eyes dropped back to where he was stirring. Logan had gang pressed Alec as soon as he swung in through his window after work. Pasta with ground beef. Alec doublechecked the meat was the mooing kind when Logan wasn't looking. 

Alec waved the sauce soaked spoon towards Logan. He watched Logan nibble the tip for a taste. There was a flick of a pink tongue swiping across Logan's lower lip. Alec's stomach twisted into knots, his mouth drying as Logan leaned in for another try. 

After a beat, Logan shook his head. Alec pouted and went back to moving the spoon left and right in the deep pot. Look, he's cooking. Whatever.

The conversation bounced back and forth as Alec stirred and Logan busied himself with whatever kitchen magic he was doing. Their voices were low even though there was no one to complain if they were loud. 

It felt nice.

It wasn't nothing they haven't done before. It was weird, though. It felt like something new was in the room. New, but fitted like it should have been there all along. Alec caught Logan smiling to himself as he cut up the bread. When Alec turned back to the stove, he realized he was doing the same. Alec scratched the back of his head, grinning as he wiggled his toes on the cool hardwood floor. 

"Don't let it burn," Logan reminded Alec as he wheeled around to slide the bread slices into the oven next to him.

Alec scoffed. Then yelped because sure enough, he caught a whiff of carbon.

Logan snickered. He elbowed Alec on the hip. Alec reached over and ran his fingers through Logan's hair, fluffing the mess up until Logan fled with a squeak of his chair.

Alec snickered as he watched out of the corner of his eye. Logan grumbled as he patted down his hair and finger combed bangs away from his eyes. He readjusted his askew spectacles and shot Alec a glare that was half-hearted at best.

"Shouldn't this be different?" Alec blurted out. He inwardly winced and clamped his mouth shut.

"Different?" Logan echoed. His eyebrow rose. He looked down at his chest, at the wash worn blue pullover that clung appealingly to Logan's torso.

"Not that. I meant…" Alec gestured between them. "Now that we've…" He stared at Logan meaningfully, his eyebrow arched high.

Logan flushed. "Oh." He ducked his head into the cabinet that stored the plates. "Different? How so?"

"I dunno," Alec fumbled. He wished he stuck with only the stirring. "I mean, should we be like, different now? Like, mushy and gross and stuff?"

A startled sputter almost knocked Logan into the cabinet door. "What?"

Alec shrugged. He could feel heat creeping up his neck. He shifted from foot to foot.

"We had sex," Alec fumbled. "I, er, and you, we've had sex before, but since last week—" He blew out through his nose. "It's like when we first kissed." His cock stirred at the reminder. "We sort of…leveled up after that, in an emo sort of way."

"In an emo sort of way?"

The spoon banged around the pot. "You know what? Forget it—"

"Is that's why the rose?" Logan rolled closer until he could touch Alec's knee. 

Alec's shoulders lifted and dropped. 

Logan's smile was audible in his voice. "Alec, you didn't need to get me a flower."

"You didn't like the flower?" Shit, maybe Logan was more of an orchid kind of guy. Those were fancy enough.

"No, I mean, yes! The flower was nice. I just…" Logan exhaled through his nose as he struggled for words.

"I don't think we have to change the way we are." Logan was warm against Alec's hip. Alec absently stroked Logan's neck with the back of a finger. 

Logan leaned in. "Maybe just…we'll be more."

Alec's finger stuttered against Logan's throat. "More?"

"Us, only intensified." Logan shifted uneasily in his chair. "I mean if we both want."

"More, huh?" Alec murmured. "I guess that makes sense, I think. Kind of like turning the dial up on us?"

"I hope so." Logan's hand brushed down Alec's thigh. "I would like that."

Alec looked over, his mouth crooked goofily. "Me too."

Logan leaned in and kissed the side of Alec's knee. Alec shuddered. He could feel the shape of Logan's mouth through his jeans. He stooped and dropped a kiss on top of Logan's head and thought, if this was what Logan meant by more, he was okay with it. 

A throat delicately cleared.

"Plus, I hoped it also meant more sex."

"Well, duh."

 

"You want me to slave over a hot stove again?"

Alec grinned, unrepentant, even as he made a show of putting the wooden spoon into the tall pot. He had came through the window, proceeded to enthusiastically and messily greet Logan howdy. When he pulled back, he discovered Logan had stuck a wooden spoon in his hand before he could use said hand to dispose Logan of his t-shirt.

"It's just stirring." Logan gave a little eyeroll. He balanced the tiny laptop on his thighs as he steered around the kitchen. He alternated from reading what was on the screen and what was in the fridge. After a grunt, he closed the laptop and tucked it between his leg and chair.

"Normal was riding our asses about our lunch hours again. I think I got tinnitus from his nagging." Alec pretended to sag. "This is hard work on an empty stomach."

"I was running late. Informant for the German mob spooked."

"Aw crap, did Phil freak them out again with his jibber about destiny and cleaning up the streets?"

Logan snorted. "Thought I'll get it started and throw in some extra vegetables." He nodded towards the stove. "I figured even you can't ruin that."

"I made one tiny mistake—"

"Alec, the pot melted," Logan chuckled, "you were boiling water."

Grumbling, but biting back a smirk, Alec blinked into the pot of thick brown liquid. He peered into the pot. Bits of what looked like beef bobbed in a thick brown liquid. He thought he saw carrot too. 

"Stew," Logan explained, catching Alec's expression. "It was faster." He stacked bowls and the finished bread on his lap to wheel over. 

"Damn, I was looking forward to that duck thing you were telling me about this morning." Alec poked at what looked like a potato chunk. It bobbed once before sinking. Alec stirred and it popped back above the surface. Intrigued, Alec did it again.

"Magrat de Canard?" 

" _Magret de Canard_ ," Alec absently correctly as he watched the chunk of potato make a valiant effort to stay afloat. Three months posing as a French diplomat's son left him a perfect rolling accent. He blinked, hearing it slip over his words without a cue. He scowled to himself and dropped his eyes into the pot. The spoon scrapped noisily at the bottom of the pot.

Logan made no comment about the smooth foreign syllables. When he passed by Alec to get to the fridge, though, he cupped the back of Alec's calf to calm the bounce Alec didn't realize his knee was doing.

"Why…" Alec bit back the sound he wanted to make when Logan's hand pulled away. "Why were you running late anyway if that guy was a bust?"

Dishes clattered as Logan set up the table. Silverware rattled despite Logan setting them down deliberately slow.

Alec turned off the stove and turned towards Logan. He watched Logan for a bit before clearing his throat.

"There's only two of us tonight, right?"

Logan checked the table and finally saw the four place settings. He made a face and started to remove the extra.

Alec raised his voice higher to be heard above the clatter. "Why were you running late?"

Logan exhaled. "Went to see Bennett. He's been staying under the radar since he posted bail."

Alec grimaced. "That must have been an interesting conversation."

"It was. Eventually." Logan's pinched expression tilted up towards Alec.

"Had to speak to my Aunt Margo and Bennett's wife first. They weren't happy when I came to see him."

"They knew you blew the whistle?" Alec frowned. "What happened to anonymous tip?"

"Jonas," Logan replied in a clipped tone. 

Alec winced. He scanned Logan up and down.

"Not that I'm complaining, but you look relatively intact."

Logan lifted up a shoulder. "Cale women show more restraint. Or because of this." Logan patted his wheelchair. "Although Aunt Margo started getting…" A smile twisted on Logan's face. "She threw my mother's locket at me at one point." He laughed, strained. "At least it saved me the trouble of figuring out how to ask for it back." 

"I know you said you didn't want any of us to tag along whenever you go see your family," Alec murmured. "But I wished you had asked me to go with you."

Logan cracked a tired smile. "As much as I try denying it, they are family. They wouldn't hurt m—" He abruptly laughed. "What am I saying? A few weeks ago, I was proven wrong."

Alec took a step forward, but stopped. Logan sat too stiffly in the chair. 

Logan grimaced in an attempt to smile again, but he gave up. He shook his head and went back to the dishes. 

"Sorry," Logan offered. "Can we don't talk about it for now?" He darted a look to Alec, his expression hooded. It was a familiar look; one that used to prelude an escape to a computer, to the _click-clack_ typing of keys.

Alec gripped the pot with both hands. He slowly set the pot down on the table, taking his time as he shaped the words in his mouth.

"For now," Alec said more to the stew. "But I'm not leaving."

Logan's hand returned to cup behind Alec's knee. It was answer enough.

 

"He didn't believe me."

Alec exhaled slowly when Logan gave up the pretense of eating. He set down his fork after three bites.

"What did you tell him?" Alec dipped his bread into the thick liquid pooled at the bottom of his bowl. After the chunk turned brown and fragrant with stew, he stretched it across the table to Logan. After some hesitation (and a scowl from Alec), Logan took the piece with obvious reluctance.

"I told him about the early releases, how they were killed without any witnesses. I told him about _Cale Industries's_ separate set of accounts and the untraceable deposits." Logan tore into the stew soaked bread. He chewed slowly.

"You told him about the Red soldiers," Alec guessed.

Logan nodded miserably.

Alec sat back in his chair. "And he didn't believe you?" He darkened. "I thought you said he was one of the good guys?"

"He's also Jonas Cale's son." Logan finished the bread, pausing when Alec offered another. He shot Alec a look before taking that piece. He ate that piece slowly as well.

"So what now?"

Logan stopped chewing. He glanced up at Alec, his face shadowed. He took his time washing down his food with the glass of red wine he was refilling all night. Done, he swirled the last slick bit of wine in his glass, turning his glass round and round until it was coated in a blood red sheen.

"I don't know," Logan finally said. "I asked for his help. He asked me to get out."

"You asked the guy to rat out on his father." 

Logan nodded. He reached for the wine bottle. He blinked when he realized it was empty. His shoulders slumped. He sagged back into the wheelchair. He ran his palms over his face.

"You're right," Logan said, muffled behind his hands. "I hoped if I could get Bennett on my side, we could pressure Jonas to stop." His jaw set. Logan lowered his hands.

"I'd been going about this wrong." Logan stared at the dinner neglected on the table. "I've been trying to stop Jonas. Maybe I should try and stop _Cale Industries_."

"Wasn't that what you've been doing?"

Logan shook his head. "I was trying to get Jonas to turn over whatever clandestine project he was working on. Then I thought taking him off the Board of Directors would cripple his access to the project. I'm certain he's only a pawn, following someone else's lead in exchange for keeping _Cale Industries_ where they are now. I was trying to give him a chance to fix this."

"But?" 

Logan's hands curled and uncurled on the table. "I don't think he wants to fix this. Whoever is pulling Jonas's strings is powerful enough to push my uncle into murdering members of his own family." Logan shrugged, his mouth twisted.

"Even if it is only the black sheep of the family." Logan laughed strangely. "He used to say I was his favorite black sheep." He stared at his dinner like he wanted to throw it. "I do the hack, reveal everything _Eyes Only_ have, the people send an outcry and the politicians will have to listen if they want to be re-elected next term."

Alec's stomach sank. "Government stepping in, shutting down everything? Do we have enough to force their hand?"

"Not really." Logan's mouth pressed thin. "Even if there isn't any at all, it's an opportunity the politicians can't resist: showing the country how decisive they can still be in the face of economic disaster. They would shut down all levels. Wouldn't matter if that division was involved or not." Grimacing, Logan ran a hand through his hair; it left him looking lost.

"It's not really fair, but it will make our government look good and they'll sell hard on how it's the right thing to do to distract the people from realizing the ramifications."

"Sounds like them," Alec murmured. "I've never known Big Brother to be understanding."

" _Cale Industries_ provides jobs for hundreds in Seattle alone. Something like this…" Logan took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Alec fidgeted in his seat. "Not to be an ass about this, but you know they'll freeze all the accounts once you do this. All of them."

Logan grimaced. "Good thing you set up my trust fund to move before that happens."

Alec squirmed.

"It' all right, Alec." Logan's mouth was twisted in a self-deprecating smile. "You were right: that money can still do a lot of good, especially once _Cale Industries_ falls under legal hell, the people of this city are going to need every bit."

"Hey," Alec murmured. "You sure there isn't another way?" His gut churned during Logan's talk. He heard the self-loathing in Logan's voice. He thought he could see the image of Logan from months before with the shadow bruised eyes superimposed over the one sitting before Alec. 

"Bennet could dissolve that department, cut off whatever research they were doing with the murdered convicts. It wouldn't stop the killings. Just slow it down enough until we find the ones directly responsible. But for him to do that…" Logan exhaled. "I had hoped to make Bennett see it my way."

"Well, framing him first probably didn't leave him with a warm, fuzzy feeling about you."

Logan chuckled sadly.

"No."

Alec bit his lower lip.

"In Manti—we were taught assets made for the best internal disruptions." Alec couldn't look at Logan. "If we can recruit your cousin into an asset, there's still a way to save what we can of _Cale_."

"I already tried." Logan's laugh was thin and weary. 

"I…" Alec rubbed his finger across the grain of the dining table. "I could try." He smiled tersely. "We were trained to be persuasive."

"No." Logan's chair creaked as he tucked closer so he could reach across to Alec. "I don't want you to do that."

"It'll be fine." Alec's face seemed to crack when he stretched his mouth wider in what he thought was a reassuring smile. "I won't hurt him." At least not too bad. Scars eventually fade with time.

Logan grabbed Alec's hand, halting its left-right travels across the table.

Alec looked up.

"No," Logan repeated it with a firm voice. The shadows were gone from under Logan's eyes. He gazed back to Alec with intensity.

Alec swallowed. "I would be okay with it."

"I wouldn't." Logan gave Alec's hand a brief squeeze before sitting back. "I'm going to try talking to Bennett again. Show him what I have." 

"Uncle Jonas had his chance." Regret flitted across Logan's face. "Bennett would do the right thing even if his father won't. I just need to convince him his father isn't who he thinks he is."

"It'll be easier," Alec murmured, "If I was the one who…convinced him."

Logan's eyes crinkled as he considered Alec.

"Easier for me," Logan countered. "But not for you."

"Good enough."

"Not to me." 

 

It wasn't clear who sighed when Alec slipped free of Logan's body. 

"Hate when you do that," Logan mumbled into his pillow.

Alec peppered Logan's damp nape with kisses. He could smell the lingering spices of the stew the shower couldn't complete wash away. He peeled off his condom without looking. Logan wiggled and sat up with Alec's help. He gazed back at Alec heavy lidded, a flush on many tempting parts of his body, his mouth a drowsy curve that begged for another kiss.

"Hang on," Alec murmured before he gave in to the urge to climb over Logan and do it all over again, taste the smoky salt of his skin, still heated from stretching so perfectly into Alec's thrusts. He tied the condom, padded into the en-suite and tossed the used condom in the trash. When he returned with a cloth, he found Logan staring thoughtfully at him.

"What?"

Logan shook his head. He gestured Alec to come closer, snagging the washcloth from his hands.

Alec and Logan regularly took turns cleaning each other after sex. He liked skimming the fabric down Logan's body, watch the other's nipples harden in response to Alec's attentions. 

Logan always took his time at a pace that was both exquisite and painful. His large hand was warm even through the cloth he held. He'd let the material drag briefly over the planes and angles of Alec's body, swirling it around in tiny circles at certain spots. 

Alec curled on his side; his head pillowed on Logan's thigh. He watched Logan wipe down Alec's bare flank even though his skin was clean of come. He hummed as Logan pressed down on the fabric and let the texture and the heat of his palm smooth up his side, over his ribs and back down again. 

"Feels good," Alec encouraged as Logan's touch wandered lower, to the fold under his buttocks. Logan didn't linger, though, giving Alec's cheeks a feather light wipe before the cloth traveled up his side again.

Alec felt a twinge when he realized he had tensed up minutely when Logan drifted closer to his ass. He glanced up. Logan gazed down at Alec with those same dark eyes and a soft curl of his mouth.

"Sorry," Alec mumbled. He turned and pressed his face to Logan's stomach. He nosed the short hairs that trailed down to Logan's groin. Alec rested his cheek on the supple skin under the navel, a gentle swell of muscles Logan couldn't strengthen due to his condition. The area felt vulnerable against Alec's lips.

Logan stopped rubbing the cloth down Alec's body. He dropped a hand on Alec's hair.

Alec stared out into the darkness their bodies created. He felt Logan breathing slow and steady underneath him. He felt Logan's hand, loose and nonthreatening, combing through his hair. He felt Logan's other hand on top of his where he had set it on Logan's thigh.

It was quiet, except in Alec's head.

"You never asked," Alec said abruptly. "After the date, I said you could ask me about…stuff." His throat vaguely burned from forcing the words out. 

"Technically, we didn't finish the date," Logan countered lightly. "Unless you planned on homicidal mercenaries in your itinerary."

Alec snorted into Logan's navel. He turned until he was staring at the underside of Logan's chin. 

"Go ahead." Alec squashed down the tremor he could hear in his voice. "Ask away. Deal's a deal."

Logan's hand, caught under Alec's hair, gave his scalp a gentle scratch before pulling free. He cupped it under Alec's jaw. Both hands. As if he was trying to keep Alec's head above water. 

It felt like they were treading water. The longer Alec waited for Logan to respond, the more it felt like he was floating on something rocky, something that bobbed way too much to trust standing on. 

Logan lowered his head and kissed Alec's brow. He prodded, his hands insistent yet gentle, coaxing Alec to sit up. He said nothing, his hands murmuring across Alec's skin with light pressure, skimming over skin that will never scar, never blemish.

"They hurt you," Logan whispered as his hands continued to measure the shape of Alec. "No, don't deny it."

Alec felt Logan's touch like a passing breeze. "I wasn't." His throat worked. "Yea, they weren't the nurturing type."

Logan's hands stilled over Alec's shoulders. He gazed into Alec's eyes. Alec locked onto Logan and there was a moment when neither one of them breathed.

Alec averted his eyes. He heard Logan take a shuddering breath. The moment was gone.

"I don't need to know," Logan said unsteadily. "I…Alec, I see how they were hurting you every day—"

Alec scoffed. 

"Alec," Logan said sharply.

Startled, Alec glanced over. Logan was suddenly too close, his eyes too piercing. Alec almost pushed Logan away. 

"I know I had pushed, but I realized," Logan rested his brow against Alec's. "I'm sorry."

Alec closed his eyes. He listened to Logan breathe in and out.

"There was this room," Alec began. 

"Alec, you don't have to—"

Alec shook his head jerkily, halting Logan's protests.

"After we hit puberty, I mean, the moment our balls dropped, they…"

Logan slipped his arms around Alec.

"Sex…" Alec swallowed hard. "They cooked us up pretty for a reason. Sex was…we were taught sex was a tactic."

Logan's hands pressed deep into Alec's lower back.

Alec ran his tongue across his lower lip. "When there was a mission and a target with particular tastes, we all go to this room and they show us these slides. Over and over. I think I'd seen those damn things five times before I was…qualified for a mission they had in mind." 

Fingers dug deeper into muscle. Alec heaved a sigh. He tried to sit away, but Logan's arms tightened around him.

A lump grew and grew in Alec's throat.

"The room…" Alec gulped hard. "It had this table and kind of a shackle thing you step up to…" He shrugged. There was a spot between his shoulders that knotted painfully when his shoulders tried to lift. "They kept the room cold, which was stupid because your muscles tense up with the temperature drop and you're supposed to relax in…"

Alec slumped against Logan. He soaked up the solid feel before he pulled away.

"So yea. This room. You prep yourself, follow the instructions they're telling you on the loudspeaker, door opens, your t-trainer comes in and…"

Logan breathed out harshly. His forehead rolled over Alec's. Bone against bone. It vaguely hurt. 

"No flowers. No candles for me," Alec croaked. "But my performance was acceptable enough to be read in on the mission. So all in all, not a bad day's work." 

Logan choked. For some reason, he sounded angry.

"It wasn't terrible," Alec said in a small voice. "It just wasn't great either. But orders were orders."

Logan muttered, "Orders" in a dark voice. Alec averted his eyes and pretended not to hear.

Alec cleared his throat. "He…h-he was a sen—"

"No names," Logan murmured softly. He rubbed his hands up and down Alec's back. "I don't need names." He tipped his head up. "Like I know you don't need apologies."

Alec's back ached when he shrugged. "Sorry isn't going to do anything. It's done. I did my job. I left. The guy was dead."

"Wasn't your job to do," Logan said as he finally pulled away. Alec almost chased after that careful touch.

"I'm pretty sure it was for me," Alec said numbly. "Or at least it was, at the time." He brushed his palms down Logan's stubble jaw. He closed his eyes and felt the tiny pinpricks skimming over his palms.

"You don't have to do any of it anymore." Logan touched his lips to each of Alec's eyes. It felt like a benediction. Alec felt lighter and lighter with each kiss. The weight that sat heavy on his chest lifted.

"Yea." The answer tasted funny when Alec said them. "I'm done." He wove his fingers with Logan's. 

Logan covered their hands with his free one.

"No more," Logan whispered. "Never again, Alec. You're done."

"I'm…I'm done," Alec repeated wonderingly. 

Logan's fingers squeezed around Alec's.

Alec abruptly twisted around. He crushed his mouth to Logan's. Teeth clacked together. There was a brief struggle for dominance. And even though Logan's mouth softened against Alec's nips and licks, it felt like _Alec_ was yielding.

"I'm done," Alec mumbled as he surged up, his weight leaning into Logan. The cracked headboard behind Logan groaned as the combined force pressed into the surface. 

Alec curled his hands around Logan's wrists. He drew the captured hands high above Logan's head. He kept kissing Logan or maybe it was the other way around; Logan's lips chased after Alec's, inch for inch, breath for breath.

"Everything I do now," Alec breathed as he pinned Logan's crossed wrists above them with one hand. "I want to do it. Me."

"I want this," Alec whispered. He cupped Logan's jaw with his free hand. 

"Not my job anymore." Alec kissed the smooth skin stretched around Logan's shoulder socket. His hand slipped down to Logan's cock. He started off cradling Logan's balls in his hand. He weighed them, pinched and rolled them in his palm. 

"No orders," Logan whispered. He shuddered when Alec dug his fingers into the dark nest of hair in his groin. Logan whimpered. He struggled, half-heartedly, under Alec's enhanced strength. "What do you want to do now?"

"This." Alec gave the velvety sacs a squeeze. 

Logan stared down, entranced. He was unable to feel it, but Alec felt Logan's cock stirring at the sight of Alec's fingers massaging him between his legs. 

"I want to do this." Alec tugged, his thumb roughly running down the length of Logan's cock. It twitched under the hard line Alec dug along the vein. 

Logan's breath caught. He gasped as his head fell back. His throat worked as he swallowed convulsively. 

"Look at you," Alec breathed. "I want to do this to you. I want to. Me."

"Only you," Logan groaned. "Alec. I-I…" His shoulders rolled back, his upper body arching when Alec pinched a pink bud and rolled the hardening nipple between his two fingers.

Alec's blood thrummed hot inside, like a shot of heated adrenaline coursed through his veins. Logan writhed in place, his hands still high above him, the muscles of his shoulders and wrapped around his arms bunched, flexed, quivered. Alec could see the flight or flight instinct boiling under Logan's skin.

"Alec," Logan half sobbed, fidgeting after Alec abandoned his chest. He choked when Alec wrapped his hand around his cock, flushed a dark pink, half curved into the fold of his hip.

"No one told me to do this." Alec dragged his grip down the length, squeezing as he went. 

Logan's cock weakly filled further.

"I do this because I want to," Alec went on. His fist jerked up. Logan bounced on the bed, a keen ripped from his lips when Alec did it again in three rapid strokes. 

"Because I want this. Me." 

Alec released Logan's hands. They fell onto his shoulders.

"And I want this," Logan panted. "You."

"Only me."

Logan shuddered as Alec latched onto the junction of his neck. His freed hands smoothed over Alec's shoulders, pulling him closer.

"Only you."

Logan whimpered as Alec ran his tight fist over Logan's cock in short then long strokes. He squeezed the head, dug his thumb carefully into the spongy tip. His arms flexed as he ruthlessly pumped Logan, even after a thin stream of come spilled over Alec's fist.

"Never again," Alec breathed. "They can't make me do anything." He let his eye drop as his voice smoothed to a purr

"No one's making me do this to you," Alec growled. He yanked Logan's head toward him. "Or this."

Alec straddled Logan's legs as he moved the other to lie down on his back. He could hear the hum of a PA system thrumming at the base of his skull. No!

"No one," Alec hissed. He leaned into Logan, his cock grinding into Logan's stomach. He rocked into Logan, his hips snapping into Logan's pelvis, crushing him to the mattress. Logan's groans, the bed's creaks and Alec's ragged breathing drowned out the cold instructions that echoed in a sterile room in Alec's head.

"Alec," Logan moaned. His hands clawed Alec's sides. It wasn't clear if he was trying to pull Alec forward or back. "Alec. I-I…please." He peeled a hand off Alec's hip and flailed towards the nightstand, not quite reaching. He gave up, his head craning to kiss.

"Don't…don't need it," Logan gasped against Alec's mouth. "Now, Alec, _please_."

Alec nearly yanked the top drawer off its rails. He shook out the remaining packet of lube and condom onto the bed. He shook as Logan nipped, raked the edge of his teeth over his lower lip. Alec wanted, no, wait…

"Logan," Alec moaned as he fumbled to get the packets open with one very shaky hand.

Logan swore against Alec's skin. His hips rolled up as best he could. Bristly hairs teased Alec's flushed cock. Precome dribbled down Logan's inner thighs.

"Alec," Logan gritted out. "Alec, damn it if you don't—oh God—please, please, Christ, Alec, _do something_."

Alec's fingers shook as he squirted the last packet of lube over his fingers. He shuddered when his fingers easily slipped into Logan's loosened hole. He felt the vibrations around him when he stabbed deep into Logan's body, twisting just so.

Logan's moan sounded filthy and startled at the same time. It sank deep into Alec's bones like a live charge moving his limbs.

"No one's forcing me to do this." Alec rolled a condom over his erection. He kissed Logan hard; He slipped a hand under Logan's hips, lifting him up to settle his ass on a hastily positioned pillow. His weight settled over Logan's body, pressing him into the mattress so deep, Logan could only buck weakly against Alec when Alec's cock breached him in a single, hard stroke.

Logan's fingers dug into Alec's biceps as Alec began to move. His mouth gaped open, soundless and wide as Alec's hips surged forwad.

"No one's telling me to do this." Alec shoved a hand under Logan's hips, jerking him up over Alec's lap now. He spread Logan over his thighs. He clasped his hands over Logan's upper quads, gripping Logan like a possession, tugging him up, higher, his cock inching impossibly deeper. They both groaned when Alec bottomed out, the velvet of Logan's buttocks brushing against Alec's balls.

Alec thrust; a palm splayed across Logan's quivering stomach. He hitched his hip, angled just so…

Like a charge coursing his body, Logan thrashed, his mouth slack as he mewled. 

"I want this," Alec hissed as his strokes grew erratic. He gripped Logan's thighs with a bloodless hold. He bucked with Logan as he drove forward, fucked into Logan, hips frantically moving deeper and harder because no one was making him, no one was ordering him. This was theirs. No one else's.

"I want this," Alec gasped as he slammed into Logan, hard enough he almost slipped out. He collapsed on top of Logan, head spinning as Logan tried to squeeze around him. Sweat plastered brown bangs over Logan's eyes. He gasped under Alec. Logan's fingers drew blood after he came because Alec continued to piston deep into Logan, through their orgasms, lancing into oversensitized flesh. Alec dove deep into Logan, prespiration pooling between their bodies. His ears rang with Logan's hoarse cries; Logan came a second time, shouting Alec's name in a desperate plea that drew goosebumps down Alec's back.

Words died in Alec's mouth, his defense shriveled up when Logan yanked him closer by the arms, his demand clear.

"No one's making me do this," Alec vowed as he gathered up Logan and proceeded to break him down to pieces again.

 

"Shit."

Logan lifted his head off the pillow groggily. "What?"

Ice churned in Alec's gut as he looked down at himself in dismay, His throat squeezed shut.

"It broke."

Logan's brow knitted together. He squinted myopically to where Alec still knelt between his legs. With his cheeks still flushed, his hair a mess of spikes, Logan looked like how Alec felt. 

Alec waved towards himself. He tried to keep his hand steady, but it must not have worked because Logan pulled himself up higher with his elbows.

"Alec?"

"The condom broke." Alec brushed a finger against Logan's opening. Sure enough, his finger pulled away glistening not with lube, but with his come.

"Fuck."

Logan smiled ruefully. "Yes, we did." His smile faded when he focused on Alec. "What is it?"

For a smart guy, Logan was dim at times. Alec's hand jerked towards himself again.

"I may have been new to all this, but I'm pretty sure I can't get pregnant." Logan's attempt at levity dropped. His brow furrowed. 

"Alec, I don't get it. We didn't need or use one before for, you know, other things..."

Great, now Alec thought about all the other stuff they've done and the flood of twisting and writhing feeling was rising up his throat like bile. He thought back to how he used to breach Logan with his fingers, coat him with his come. Alec took Logan, without thought, driven by hunger and he never once thought to…

Alec dropped his head into his head.

"Crap," Alec bleated. "Look, I've not been the most celibate of guys before. Hell, you know I used to, you know, whatever, but it's not like, I was always careful. I try to be. I always made them use a condom—but they're not always hands off and—"

"Alec."

Alec blearily looked up at Logan. 

Logan dropped a hand on Alec's ankle. He rubbed it up and down to his foot. 

"You can't get sick," Logan said in a tone Alec thought was too calm.

"But you can," Alec croaked. 

Logan didn't look like he got it. Alec wanted to shake the other by the shoulders. 

"I can't catch anything," Alec stammered. He suddenly wanted to scoop up Logan and hide him…somewhere, anywhere, far away from him. "Hell, once, one of my Fif— _clients_ threw up on me because he was too horny to let flu stop him from—but I never got sick, but that stuff can stick to me for, I don't know—"

"Alec. Alec," Logan reached over and wrapped his hands around Alec's arms.

Whatever bubbling in Alec's throat frothed violently the longer Alec tried to explain and Logan just couldn't— _wouldn't_ get it.

"Damn it, I can't get sick, but I can get _you_ sick!" Alec shouted. He tugged the broken condom off his spent cock. He wanted to throw it far away, but instead, he disposed of it like he did with the others. He came out of the bathroom and stood at the foot of the bed.

Logan studied Alec from the bed. 

"How long has it been?" Logan asked bluntly.

Alec blinked. "What?"

Logan's cheeks pinked, but he gestured towards Alec.

"When you needed to…for money."

"Fuck, Logan, just say it. I was blowing random dicks for cash." Alec inwardly flinched.

"I told you, I don't judge."

"Maybe you should have," Alec muttered. He dropped heavily to the bed, shy of Logan's chilled toes. He tossed a corner of the covers over the feet. He stared at the carpet.

"How long ago?" Logan pressed.

Alec thought back. He poked at the covers under him.

"Last year," Alec mumbled finally. "Around October, after I ran into you in that alley when you were doing your _Eyes Only_ thing."

"Oh." For some reason, Logan sounded…pleased? "I hadn't—I mean, I didn't realize it was…" Logan cleared his throat. 

"Alec, that was months ago. It's been almost a year since you first came here."

Alec's mouth twisted. He glanced over his shoulder. "You mean when I first broke into your place to rob you?"

Logan's lips quirked at a corner. "Your words, not mine. I was trying to be diplomatic."

"Wow, _Eyes Only_ watching what he says? Quick, we need to do a vid hack to let the world know."

Logan swung a pillow at Alec. It bounced off Alec's head.

Strained chuckles hung between them.

"Alec," Logan murmured. "If you were carrying anything, I would have been sick by now."

"We didn't get to know each other in the naked away until this year," Alec pointed out.

"To which, two or more months had already passed."

Alec gritted his teeth. "Do you have to sound so God damn reasonable about this?" He shuffled closer, by Logan's knees. He felt Logan reaching for his hand. Alec turned over his palm and let Logan grip tight.

"I know," Alec said, heaving a sigh. His head dropped to his chin. "It makes sense. It does. I can't help feeling like, what if…"

"You can't get me sick. You can't hurt me, Alec."

Alec stiffened. 

"That's what this is all about." 

Alec shrugged, his eyes downcast.

Logan squeezed Alec's hand. "All right. Would you feel better if I get tested? They're not going to find anything, but I'm suspecting unless you have it in writing, nothing else is going to convince you."

Alec breathed out loudly. His shoulders rose up and dropped hard enough to leave an ache in his back.

"You got someone in mind?"

"Sam Carr. At _Metro Medical_ hospital. He was overseeing my care after my accident." Logan hesitated. "He knew about Max, too. About working for _Eyes Only_ , as well. Bling recommended him."

Alec swallowed convulsively. It felt like the insides of his throat stuck together.

"You trust him?"

"I do," Logan said. "He's a good guy."

Alec picked under his nail. He stared at them; the pink crescents, skin flushed with blood, possibly carrying filth and a perv's—

"Can he test me?"

Alec could feel Logan's startled eyes on him.

"Alec, you can't get sick."

Alec grunted. "But I can carry. And it's like you said: I'm not going to believe it until it's on paper." He grimaced. "I can give him a sample. I rather not walk in for an appointment."

Logan was quiet for a moment.

"You don't need to do this, Alec."

Alec shook his head jerkily. "We should be sure. Let me try to find someone who can play vampire on me."

"I can do it," Logan said quietly. "I can get what we need if you want me to do this."

Alec gripped Logan's hand bruising tight. He said nothing.

"All right," Logan murmured. "We'll do this tomorrow."

Alec swallowed hard.

Logan breathed out. "They're not going to find anything, Alec."

Alec closed his eyes and nodded.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: **unprotected sex** , violence, cursing, did I mention the sex?
> 
> Spoilers: mentions events of _Berrisford Agenda_ and parallels _I Am And A Camera_

This wasn't a date.

Nevertheless, Alec had the urge to pull out the silvery blue tie rolled up inside his messenger bag. Original Cindy had insisted it would fly well with the cream oxford button down he wore over his new (well, new to him) black jeans. Normal gave him an arched eyebrow when he came in this morning and declared it was nice that someone finally read the company's dress code policy.

Alec had batted his eyes, cooed to Normal he was wearing it just for him and asked if he was free for lunch.

Normal replied by throwing a wadded up sexual harassment pamphlet at Alec's face. He stayed within the safety of his cage for the rest of the day.

Logan picked up Alec after work in his car. And there may have been some heavy patting and groping under the shadow of a bridge somewhere. Ever mindful of the impending blood test results, though, Alec stopped Logan before his hands reached Alec's zipper. Logan shot Alec a frustrated look but eased off; much to Alec's regret and relief. The next look Logan slid his way, however, held a smoky promise that left Alec's mouth dry.

But this wasn't a date. Nope. Dates didn't include the shoulder holster Alec felt when he slipped his hands into Logan's black denim jacket.

"Um…"

Alec glanced over. Logan faced forward in the driver's seat, but he kept glancing over to Alec. 

"This morning…When I asked if you were busy later…" Logan hedged. 

Alec snorted. "Relax. I figured when you asked that, I was your second choice in following up this lead. I only wore this ensemble to screw with Normal's mind." He leaned back in the passenger seat, his hands folded behind his head.

"Phil is following up on that rumor about the cage fighters. And Sung can't be caught harassing one of the early release convicts. Especially since the list wasn't going to be published in the papers until next week."

"Oh." For some reason, Logan appeared disappointed. He cleared his throat. "You look nice, though."

Alec leered. "More than when I'm not in it?"

Logan's lips curved.

"No," Logan murmured, "I like the other look, too."

Logan's voice lowered to a burr that trailed down Alec's back like the raspy burn of stubble skimming skin. Alec fidgeted.

"Sure we have to do this tonight, Heather?" Alec whispered and blatantly adjusted himself in front of Logan. Alec spread his legs a little. He wiggled, enough to flash the not-so-subtle bulge. 

Logan swallowed.

"Best…best chance we have in catching whoever is doing this in the act," Logan murmured. He pressed his lips together. His eyes flicked over to Alec.

"Too bad." Alec pressed the heel of his hand against his jeans covering his cock. He exhaled slowly as he dug in and pressed down the length of his dick. 

"Alec." Logan huffed out an unsteady chuckle. "We really can't stop the car again."

"I know."

"Besides, the car's barely has the room for—"

"Not true, with you on my lap, we fit just fine."

Logan breathed out sharply. His cheeks were flushed. "You're the one who stopped us before."

Alec bumped the back of his head on his headrest. Oh yeah. He swallowed. "Don't remind me." 

"I was fine about stopping for a few minutes to—"

"I know, I know!" 

On the one hand, Alec wanted to congratulate himself for his self control. On the other, he wanted to smack himself upside on the head.

"Okay," Alec said with an exaggerated sigh, "I'll behave." 

"Thank you," Logan chuckled. "Anyway, we're almost there." He scanned the road. The glint in his eyes hardened as his mouth pursed. "If the listed address was real, that is."

"Wasn't that the requirement for early release?"

"No one checks all of them to see if they're legit." Logan squeezed the steering wheel. "And the right amount of dollars to anyone on the parole board and someone forgets to do the verifications before releasing a medium risk criminal out." He breathed out sharply. 

"God only knows how many are out there without anyone caring to check up on them. Those who deserve a second chance are neglected because of manpower. And those who don't deserve a second chance are out there, possibly…" Logan shook his head. His jaw tensed; it looked painful. 

Alec reached over and smoothed over the twitching bicep visible under the faded olive henley with a loose fist.

"Hey," Alec murmured. "We can only fix one broken thing at a time, all right?"

Logan's exhale escaped with a _whoosh_. His arms relaxed, no longer ramrod straight over the steering wheel.

"Yeah?" Alec continued running his knuckles down the length of Logan's arm.

"Yeah." Logan shot Alec a strained smile. "Sorry. It just seems like it never ends. It feels like every time I do win one; I lose a thousand. At times, it feels pointless to get out of bed."

A wiggling settled in Alec's gut. He forced himself to smirk rather than give in to the need to pull Logan close and curl over him until this screwed up world fixes itself.

"I think it's pointless to have you get out of bed, too," Alec purred, "Especially when there is so much we could be doing _in_ bed."

Logan scoffed. He looked over, his mouth twisted. 

"Thanks." Logan turned back to the road.

Alec pretended not to hear. He leaned back into his seat.

"How are you going to convince…" Alec checked the list Sung gave him yesterday. "Joey Spanks—wow, he must have been popular as a kid—to ditch his digs and go into hiding?"

"The usual. Money. Life is in danger. And if all else fails…" Logan flicked a narrowed eye glance to his glove compartment.

Alec reached over and opened the door. Empty. He arched an eyebrow at Logan.

"Really?" Alec drawled. 

A corner of Logan's mouth quirked up.

Rolling his eyes, Alec reached in with his right hand. He tapped around and sure enough, the side wall was decidedly not flat. With everything in black felt, the bin looked empty at first glance.

A quick tug and the false wall fell out. Logan's Pelican .37 dropped neatly into Alec's palm.

"Hey, baby," Alec crooned as he pulled out the familiar weapon. He kept it below the dashboard's sightlines. He slid back its spine and checked the bullet in the chamber. He pulled out the mag, noted the number of bullets: one in the chamber, twelve in the clip. He squinted, zeroing in on one of the bullets' rim. He peeled one from the clip and sniffed it.

Alec almost dropped the tiny shell when he recognized the sharp tang of gunpowder mixed with…something else.

"Whoa."

Logan smiled grimly. "I figured if we run across a Red soldier again, more firepower is in order. I have one more clip of these in my jacket."

Alec held the projectile between his index and thumb.

"One in the gut and they'll implode from the inside out. Velocity and delivery could punch one of these through a few walls. I've only seen these for long range sniper rifles, though. I didn't think they made them for a .37 in the States."

"They didn't."

Alec tilted the bullet. He squinted at the manufacturer's markings. He whistled. 

" _Sugoi_ ," Alec breathed. At Logan's eyebrow, he shrugged.

"Undercover as a staff sous chef in the Japanese embassy. I picked up a few things."

"And yet you can't boil water," Logan remarked with a smirk.

"Hey! Your stove is, like, mega complicated. What is up with that?" Alec slotted the bullet back into the clip. He slid the mag into the Pelican, chocked it back and calculated how it felt in his hands. His mouth pursed as he compared it to Logan's hands.

"Pelicans have shorter recoil, lower muzzle rise than those old Glocks," Alec said as he turned the pistol around. "But it felt like the spring in here needs tightening. Vibration felt off." He hesitated to return the gun to its hiding place. 

"Russians made a .35 that might be better," Alec said quietly. "If you're firing from chair level, its muzzle rise and spring back will compensate for the angle you're firing. You know. From the chair."

Logan was silent for a beat. He nodded.

"Makes sense," Logan murmured. "I had that gun from…from before."

The word _before_ hung heavy between them.

"It's something I haven't taken into consideration. Thanks." Logan's hand curled and uncurled like it wanted to reach over to Alec. But Logan needed both hands on the wheel to be near the gas and brake levers.

"There's a guy on Hendericks I could get one from." Alec grimaced when Logan's gaze whipped over. "Now hold on, capeless crusader, he deals only in small shit. He's decent. For a dealer, that is. Guns not normally his thing. But if someone was hungry enough to sell one, he'll buy it out of his own pocket. He refuses to sell it back on the street."

Alec fidgeted. "He'll sell one to me, though. He owes me a favor."

"All right." Logan breathed out. "Let's get it from him."

Alec bit his lower lip in thought.

"Listen, I didn't pass along his name because the guy was small time and he wasn't—"

"It's fine, Alec." Logan smiled wearily at him. "One broken thing at a time, right?"

Alec's fingers drifted over the cool knuckles around the steering wheel.

"Right."

Silence fell in the car as they drew closer to the block where Joey Spanks registered with his parole officer.

"Feels weird, doesn't it?" Alec said finally.

"What does?"

"I think this is the first time we've done _Eyes Only_ business together." Alec shrugged at Logan's look. "Not that I wanted to before, but it used to be you and Phil or Sung."

"Is that why you wore the nice shirt?" Logan murmured, his lips twitching at the corners.

"Nope. Just screwing with Normal's mind, told ya."

"Mm hm…who owned an iron?"

"Original Cin—" Alec's mouth snapped shut.

Logan chuckled.

"Don't make me take out my tie," Alec warned. "It goes with this sexy ensemble."

"Oh God, please don't," Logan deadpanned.

"It's blue and silk and…" Alec paused, an idea forming.

"Uh oh." Logan sounded only half kidding. "What's that look for?"

"I thought of another use for the tie," Alec purred.

Logan's shoulders shook.

"Does that mean we're not having the apple cobbler for dessert tonight?"

Alec pouted exaggeratedly. "That's right. Wait. This changes things." He snickered when Logan growled. "No, but hold that thought anyway. We should stick with the cobbler for now." He sobered. "When do the blood tests come back?"

Logan exhaled. "That's all I've heard for the past two days."

Alec shrugged.

"Alec—"

"Babe, we agreed." Alec's stomach churned. "I want to be sure we're both clean and I didn't give you anything."

"You didn't."

"You change your _Eyes Only_ contact number every month. You make sure your informants rarely meet each other or the same place twice in a row. You drop box coded messages to us about where we're meeting." Alec breathed out harshly through his teeth. "Why aren't you been super careful about _this_?"

"Because you didn't hurt me."

Alec gnashed his teeth. "That's not what I'm worried about."

"Isn't it?" Logan didn't look over. His fingers uncurled from the steering wheel in a brief stretch before they gripped the wheel again.

"Look, we gave Sam the samples. He promised he'll fast track it, but it can still be morning before he can tell us anything."

"And he's doing it himself?"

Logan nodded. "No one else will see your blood sample, Alec."

Alec unclenched the clawlike grip on his knees. He didn't realize it until the pain registered. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Logan's eyes flitting over to him, brow furrowed.

"Good," Alec joked weakly. "I don't want people looking at my stuff. I'm shy."

"Yes," Logan said dryly, thankfully playing along, "I got that when you paraded around the kitchen naked once."

"Hey! You were moaning 'Coffee, coffee, need caffeine' in your sleep. It was adorable in a pathetic sort of way. I was trying to be hospitable."

Logan snorted. "Alec, I ended up making my own coffee anyway."

Alec folded his arms. 

"That's because you have a weird coffee machine," Alec grumbled. "It hates me. Watch, I'm taking it out soon."

"How did you even get coffee grounds on the ceiling?"

"Practice?" 

Headlights skim past them and the laughter stopped immediately.

"That was a truck. Was that him?" Logan's mouth flattened. "We're only a block away and this is the only road in or out of that site."

Alec twisted around. His eyesight easily picked out the driver and the license plate.

"Not the right make or model; not our guy." Alec shook his head. "Civilian."

"Um." Logan sounded amused, his terseness gone. "May I remind you we're civilians, too?"

Alec rubbed the back of his neck. He hastily tucked his hand under his butt.

"Civilian and a half maybe," Alec relented. He held up the hand he wasn't sitting on when Logan shot him a look.

"I know. I'm no longer the poster child for the big, bad M, but let's not deny I got some special stuff running through my body."

"Well," Logan said lightly. "I won't deny you have a special body." His eyes slid over, a deep emerald ringed with gold that trailed up Alec's body, lingering on the face before tearing away.

Alec suppressed the shiver under his skin. He folded his arms across his chest. 

"Nice try, Heather, but nope, no nookie until the test results."

The car shimmied. 

"Nookie?" Logan managed as he straightened up from his hunch over the steering wheel. His voice cracked as he fought to get his laughter and the car under control. "How did that get into your vocabulary?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "I think Phil is catching."

"Why was he saying nook— _Please_ don't tell me you've been talking to him about us."

"Ew! No! But the guy's too fascinated with us. Every morning it was like Burrito Q and A with him."

The half built apartment tower rose in the windshield. Whatever Logan wanted to say died as the car slowed to a halt.

Alec scanned the area. The building was a skeleton of what it could have been if the money hadn't run out. The surrounding radius was a sand filled lot, one earmarked to be an expansive residential parking structure. The original billboard that boasted a gleaming trio of seaglass buildings hung dirty and lopsided against a fence. It used to run around the entire construction site perimeter; it now stood red with rust and gouged by scavengers. 

"We're here," Logan said needlessly.

"I've squatted here once." Alec craned his neck. Orange tarp flapped in some spots. Other gaps were filled with salvaged plywood.

"What do you remember about this place?"

"Three working elevators. All the fire exits were boarded up then. Unless everyone in there finally agreed to pay the protection fee, those exits should still be blocked up." Alec nodded as he quickly counted the lights that filled the structure. "Looks like only the first three floors are occupied." 

"The other floors were never completed; probably not safe enough to stay in."

"Or the people in there not desperate enough yet to move up."

Alec's lips pressed together when he passed over Logan's gun handle first.

"Unless whoever is doing this can fly, the only entry point is with the elevators. If the address is right, Spanks is on the second floor, northwest corner." Alec squinted up towards the building again. He grunted as he noted only a few lights were on.

"Doesn't look like a lot of people in that area." Alec avoided looking at Logan as he heard the gun _snick_ into readiness. The pistol slid into Logan's shoulder holster with a hush of metal against leather.

"We'll get Spanks to a safehouse in Sector two," Logan murmured. "That building was in probate when the lending bank went bankrupt. It doesn't exist on any paperwork now. He should be safe there until we can stop whoever's doing this."

"Keep an ear out for the elevators," Alec advised. "They're the construction lifts, so they're slow to start up and louder than normal. We should be able to hear them coming. Gives us about forty seconds before they reach our floor." 

Alec watched Logan tug the wheelchair out of the backseat and set it up next to the driver's seat. His throat worked as Logan straightened up his denim jacket with a tug. The jacket looked like it used to fit across the shoulders but now hung loose.

"Logan."

Logan paused, his torso still twisted to transfer over. He leaned back into the driver's seat and looked at Alec. 

"You got my back, right?" Logan asked, casually.

_Always. Forever._

Alec's lips contorted to what he hoped were a grin.

"What do you think?"

Logan's smile flashed. His shoulders tensed as he turned back again. He stopped once more.

"Alec?"

"Yeah?"

Logan's hands lost its white knuckled grip around the wheel. 

"You were never a second choice," Logan said softly. He transferred to his chair. The driver's side door quietly thumped shut.

Alec stared at the empty seat. Heat bloomed in his chest.

"You too," Alec whispered into the car.

Flexing his arms, eyes fixed on Logan waiting by the front of the car, Alec climbed out to join him.

 

"You almost shot my dick off," Spanks whined.

When Logan and Alec found him, Joey Spanks was high. He didn't acknowledge the fact Alec had kicked down the door. He was too busy jerking off. He sat on a gross smelling futon and stared blankly through greasy bleached white dreads at the plywood blocking out his window. Someone had spray painted a pair of boobs on the board. The guy smelled like he took a bath in MSG, soy sauce and sweat for the past week. 

Beer cans, syringes and suspiciously stained skin magazines littered the floor. Spanks only grinned, unrepentant, when Logan's chair rolled over at least a dozen parole violations. Spanks didn't bother to zip up when they came in. He sat slouched on the futon, absently stroking himself with his long bony fingers as he eyed Logan's mouth speculatively. 

Alec spent the time Logan tried to warn Spanks debating how satisfying it would be to knock that leer off Spanks's face with his boot.

The cash didn't impress the newly released pornography broker. And Spanks only shrugged when Logan told him he was in danger. Alec wanted to leave when he smelled the bitter scent of pre-come. Logan didn't blink; he only looked resigned.

Then the slimy bastard had staggered to his feet and wove drunkenly over to Alec.

"Fuck, watch where you point that thing." Spanks glared at Logan.

"I don't see where else I want to point it," Logan said smoothly. He frowned questioningly towards Alec.

Alec shrugged. It wasn't the first time someone got too handsy. Normally, they paid first. But nothing unusual.

It was the first time someone pulled a gun out on his behalf, though.

Now Spanks was curled under the plywood window; his hands cupped between his legs for an entirely different reason. Logan had shot the wall by Spanks after he approached (more like grope, ew) Alec. It left a hole the size of Spanks's head. And sent chunks of drywall pummeling into Spanks's crotch.

Alec raised an eyebrow at Logan, who replied with only an eye roll.

"I thought you were the good guys. What the hell?" Spanks blathered. He curled protectively around his crotch as he eyed Logan's gun warily.

"Maybe if you weren't harassing my friend, I might have been more sympathetic," Logan snapped.

Unexpectedly, a vibration thrummed down Alec's spine; his dick twitched. Crap, now was not the time.

"Look, I was only messing with you guys. I heard the rumors about some do-gooder going around giving us guys a heads up. I thought I give you two a token of my appreciation, you know?" Spanks leered at Logan. He licked his lips; a silver stud glinted when his tongue slithered out. "Give you a nice ride in case your friend here hasn't kept you nice and loos—okay! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm sorry!"

Alec tapped his heel and the blade retracted back into his boot. He pulled his foot away from Spanks's crotch. He made a face at the growing puddle of piss under Spanks's butt. When he looked over, his skin prickled at the sight of Logan lowering his weapon, his posture relaxed but his eyes alert.

"I'm not sure what you're shooting up," Logan said mildly. He tapped the gun muzzle to his knee, decidedly aimed towards Spanks. Spanks cringed. "But maybe you should stop because it's not helping you right now." He eyed Alec. "Pissing us off when we're trying to help you is not wise."

"Especially pissing _me_ off," Alec growled.

"Fuck you!" 

Logan canted his head. "A bullet to the knee should sober you up," he said mildly.

Alec squirmed. Logan's voice seemed to burrow under his skin. Heat pumped down his limbs.

"Or I could," Alec rasped, meant to be threatening but his mouth was suddenly too dry, his ears still humming with Logan's voice, skin still thrumming at the sight of Logan.

Spanks blanched. Thankfully, he couldn't tell that Alec's voice was hoarse for another reason. He held up his hands.

"Whatever you want," Spanks babbled. "I'll do whatever you guys say. Happy?"

"Ecstatic," Logan stated flatly.

Oh God, Alec's jeans were getting way too tight. And when Logan gestured Spanks to get up with a lazy flick of his gun, Alec had to bite his lower lip to push back the moan.

"You okay?" Logan's wheelchair bumped the back of Alec's leg. He looked up, brow knitted. Alec wanted to grab his face and shove his tongue down Logan's throat.

"Dandy," Alec bit out. He went over and pushed Spanks towards the futon. "Get your things. Clean ones or I'm hosing you down later."

Logan's brow furrowed deeper. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I jus—Shit! Everybody, _down_!"

The high pitched hum was the only warning.

The plywood behind Logan exploded into the room in a flurry of shards. 

Spanks shrieked.

Logan threw himself to the floor.

Alec hauled Spanks behind the futon. 

Something round and black zipped through the shattered board. The sharp bite of bullets sprayed where Spanks once stood in a parallel row of torn flooring.

All around them was the sharp reports of short range bullets tearing up drywall and floor. Alec heard shouting: Spanks. Alec heard a gun: Logan.

Alec snarled when he spotted Logan out in the open behind the wheelchair. It was a poor shelter; it barely concealed his legs. His eyes glued to Logan, he rose to his feet.

Spanks clutched Alec's leg. His fingers dug deep enough to feel through his boot. He clawed up to Alec's knee, his drug glazed eyes now overblown with stark panic.

"Don't leave me! I thought you were here to fucking protect me!"

Through a haze of dust and smoke, something whirred.

"Down!" Alec snarled. 

A line of holes peppered the wall where Alec once stood.

" _Alec_!"

"We're all right!"

"Hoverdrone!" Logan shouted as he dragged himself behind a haphazard stack of pallets with a television balanced on top. He tugged at his jeans until he was able to tuck his legs behind it completely. It was marginally better. No, not really.

"Not any hoverdrone I know!" Alec called out over the futon. He bunched his fists. His breathing rattled hard in his chest. Three god damn feet but Logan was as good as miles away. He warily tracked the floating disk. It ignored Alec when he craned his head above the futon. 

Logan sat up as best he could despite Alec's hiss to stay down. He raised his gun above his cover and fired. Sparks pinged off the drone's shell. The machine screeched and rocked in mid-air. Logan dropped down to the ground with a grunt.

"So much for the extra firepower!" Alec hollered.

Logan grunted. "Maybe I should ask for my money back?"

"Maybe you guys should get me the fuck out of here!" Spanks wailed from somewhere under Alec.

Logan raised himself up again with an elbow. He peered over the pallets, long enough to spot the drone floating hesitantly between him and the futon. He fired a rapid succession of shots, close enough; they sounded like one long shot. He got one of its firing port. The short muzzle crumbled into a wad of melted metal.

Slowly, the drone turned towards Logan. It chimed as it locked on.

With a roar, Alec picked up the futon by its legs and slammed it into the drone's glass eye.

The hoverdrone rocked with a squawk then righted itself. With a creak, it turned towards Alec.

Spanks cowered behind Alec.

Logan dragged himself up to collapse over the pallets and fired into the rotors on its belly.

The drone bobbed again. Smoke billowed out, but it stayed afloat.

Alec heard the _click_ of the only clip Logan bought. He swore under his breath.

Spanks shoved Alec away and ran.

"Get back here!" Alec hollered after him.

"Wait!" Logan warned as the drone jerkily swiveled towards its prey.

Holes on the wall chased Spanks as he fled. The drone creaked. It wove after Spanks. More gun fire. Someone outside cried out. Doors slammed. 

"Go!" Logan shouted when Alec turned towards him.

Alec hesitated at the sight of Logan supine on the floor. But then he heard more bullets, a child screaming, Spanks yelping as he ducks into whichever apartment he can get into. He didn't get to stay in for very long; someone was cursing and screaming always shoved him out before slamming shut his or her door. Seconds later, one of the elevators gave a metallic groan before it began its descent.

"Stay down!" Alec raced towards the window.

"What are you—"

"This way's faster!" 

Alec yanked on a bunch of numerous extension cords that hung from the ceiling throughout the building. Sparks flew as they detached from overhead joists. Alec ignored the embers as he vaulted out the window, his hand curled tightly around a bundle of orange cords.

The cords were the thickest gauge available, left over by crews when construction halted all over the country. They wouldn't hold his weight. But he knew they would lower him enough so he could jump down the rest of the way without shattering his knees. He heard Logan shouting. He wished there was time to explain.

Alec landed on a roll in front of what would have been the grand front entrance.

Spanks raced out of the opening like a cork exploding out of a champagne bottle. Idiot. 

"Stay inside!" Alec bellowed when he caught up with Spanks. He grabbed the moron's arm, wrenching him back. Spanks flailed, almost dropping on his ass.

"Get back inside!"

"Are you crazy? That thing's following me!" Spanks wiggled free. He spotted his truck parked in the makeshift sandy lot. He skidded as he scrambled for it.

"You're out in the open!" Alec made another grab for Spanks, but the guy weaseled out of it again.

"That's why I need to get out of her—fuck, why won't it open?" Spanks was grabbing by the handle. Unfortunately, it was the passenger's side.

"Those are armor piercing bullets. It'll cut through—"

The rapid short stutters herald the drone. Shit.

Alec slammed a hand over Spanks's greasy head and shoved him to his knees. 

"Get under the pickup!"

"But—"

The hoverdrone fired. Bullets spit by Alec's feet. He snapped back when a rock zipped by his cheek.

Spanks scrambled under the truck. 

Alec rolled over the hood and ducked down on the other side.

The hoverdrone floated, its twin gun ports pointing left and right. The one Logan took out was still smoldering. The light in its cracked glass eye flickered. The rotors hummed deeper than other drones.

 _Lower rpm_ , Alec determined as he tracked it hovering back and forth the length of the vehicle. It can't fly as fast. And it didn't spot Spanks rolling under the truck. Either Alec managed to damage its visual capability, or it need line of sight for facial targeting. 

Alec narrowed his eyes as he watched the thing bobbed as its rotors creaked. Logan's gun dented it, for sure.

Weighted down by the twin guns and its ammo, possible extra motherboards for facial and targeting recognition, the drone packed a lethal punch.

But it wasn't unstoppable.

Alec eyed a pile of metal five meters away at his two o'clock. If he can get there fast enough, he might find something useful. Alec wished he had measured its speed before. Even heavier, possibly slower, its guns could still reach Alec before he reached the pile.

"Oh God, oh God…"

"Quiet," Alec snarled. "It might be able to track sound."

The whimpering abruptly stopped.

Alec sucked in his breath. He rolled back his shoulders. 

_Around the truck's bed. Jump on it to imbalance it._

_Run like hell._

Alec crouched, creeping around to the back. He slapped away the grabby hand that shot out from under the truck. Spanks was going to get himself killed without even trying. His shoulder pressed into the rear bumper. He blinked at the license plate hanging on with a single bolt. He grinned.

With a yank, Alec tore the plate off. He sent the rectangle piece of metal zipping towards the remaining gun port. He bolted out from cover just as the plate spun towards the drone.

The hoverdrone fired onto the obstacle. A frenzy of bullets tore through the metal like it was paper.

The license plate fell a foot short of its goal.

Alec didn't stop. His long legs pumped as they ate the distance. He could hear the drone turning. His neck burned as if he could feel it targeting his back. He spurned on; he braced even as he continued to run.

Six pings from the second floor smashed into the drone's rear vent like bursts of thunder. The machine made a crunching sound and pivoted around. The drove whirred high pitched as it tried to gain elevation to reach its new target.

Alec slid the rest of the way to the pile. He grabbed the piece of rebar he spotted when he ran. He felt his left knee pop when he turned too abruptly. He ignored it, ignored the flare of agony that coursed down to his ankle. He twisted, upper body forward before his legs whipped around to follow. As he completed his spin, the rebar he held flew out of his hands.

It skewered the hoverdrone through its rotors and pinned it to the building's exterior inches from Logan's window.

Everything hurt. Alec's eyes watered. He was sure he pulled his lower back. His left knee throbbed as it valiantly tried to slip back into proper place. His shoulder burned because he stretched too fast, lunged too forward when he threw the rebar.

Panting, Alec dropped on his butt. He threw his middle finger towards where Spanks was babbling hysterically cowering under the pickup. He waved towards the teeny figure on the second floor.

Logan, one arm over the sill he used to pull himself up, wearily waved back with the hand holding the gun.

"Damn," Alec wheezed to no one in particular. "That's kind of hot, Heather."

Alec fell back on the ground, spread eagle and blank eyed.

Fuck, he needed a nap.

 

"I don't care if you have to handcuff him. Spanks has to stay in the safehouse."

"Screw it, cuff him anyway," Alec muttered. He tentatively poked his left knee. At least it didn't look like it was going to burst through his jeans. Hell, it no longer felt like it was going to burst out of his _skin_. His back no longer felt like it was trying to burn through to his spine. And his shoulder finally lets him rotate it back so he could properly shrug when Logan shot him an exasperated look. 

Let's hear it for good old Manticore. Hip hip fricking hooray. 

There were still wooden splinters clinging to Logan's hair and clothes. Alec plucked off one dangerously close to Logan's eye.

"We're fine, Matt. _Eyes Only_ is sending over two others to watch Spanks until he can find a DA who won't sell Spanks out. They'll be using yesterday's password."

Alec studied Logan as he nodded to whatever Sung was saying. Logan stared straight ahead, ever the conscientious driver. His knuckles were white. His cheeks were flushed.

"We're both fine. Alec is next to me making funny faces at you."

"Hey!" Alec growled towards Logan, but he relented when Logan chuckled.

"I'll tell him. Okay, later." Logan tapped his earpiece, disconnecting the call.

"He picked up Spanks from my informant. He's enroute to the safehouse with Spanks now. He'll stay until help gets there."

Alec frowned. "Alone?"

Logan's brow knitted. "You think Matt's in danger?"

"Of that sleazeball coming onto him? Hell, yea." Alec made a face. "Whatever got Spanks high also got him rocking a dick the size of California. I think he was getting turned on by the fuzzy dice hanging in your guy's mirror."

Logan grimaced. "Maybe Matt should cuff him."

"He would have to touch the guy first to do that." Alec pretended to shudder. He went back to watching Logan.

"What?" The flush on Logan's cheeks spread down to his neck. Alec sat up higher to see if he could verify it went down Logan's clavicle.

"Nice move with the gun before," Alec murmured as he tried to see the gaps between the buttons on Logan's henley. "Not too whoopee about you trying to shoot the thing out of the sky, though. You left yourself exposed. And I don't mean exposed as in a sexy way."

"Thought it would take time for it to get that much elevation again." Logan glanced over with a tight smile. "At least enough time for you to finish running out there in the open like that."

Alec grimaced, his desire for a little Logan peek-a-boo gone.

"I know. Not one of my best moves. The only place I saw might have a weapon."

"If you want," Logan offered hesitantly, "I can get you a gu—"

"No thanks," Alec said. He heard himself and knew it came out too quickly.

"My old alma mater liked using guns for more than shooting." Alec mimed pistol whipping. He shrugged, not meeting Logan's shrewd gaze. "I like the more hands on approach myself."

Logan nodded. He turned back towards the windshield.

Alec tapped the dashboard. He tasted blood in his mouth; he had bitten his tongue when his knee contorted out of place. He hadn't wanted to stop and allow the drone to gain precious inches towards a certain window. He ran his tongue over his teeth. Copper pricked his mouth; his tongue curled up inside in response.

"You all right?" 

Alec grunted. "Give me a few hours and some ice and I'm good."

"I wasn't asking about that."

Alec's lips thinned.

Logan breathed out at Alec's look.

"Neither one of us could have predicted this," Logan said. "We came as prepared as we thought we needed to be."

Alec fought down the yelling he felt burbling up his throat. He was worried it'll sound eerily like Lydecker.

"I said to stay down," Alec said slowly.

"Sound advice," Logan said calmly. "You should have taken your own advice."

"I spotted an opportunity to take down the target. It was a calculated risk—"

"So was mine."

"Calculated? No." Alec curled his hands and tucked them between his knees before he used them on the dash. "You reacted emotionally. It was a big risk you took. You figured out that thing attacks only if you interfere; so you interfered." Alec suppressed the frown he wanted to give. "What if it got to you before I made it into a shish kabob?"

Logan said nothing.

Alec's jaw set. His teeth ached as the silence lengthened between them. 

The car's rumble filled in the quiet that fell between them. The wheelchair folded away in the backseat banged against their seats every so often. Alec kept glancing over his shoulder to check on it.

"Now I know why there were no witnesses," Logan said abruptly. He didn't look at Alec. "And how _Cale Industries_ was involved."

"Those things are everywhere." Alec studied Logan's profile. Logan clenched his jaw so tight, his jaw line stood out like a ridge of bone. 

"Flying over us every day, watching and recording our every move…" Logan's eyes slitted. "And now ready to kill at a moment's notice."

Alec winced. "Not all of them." He wished they were able to salvage it, but it had wiggled free and flew off in an erratic line. "This one was a bit different: slower, most likely heavier from all its upgrades." He cocked his head to the side, thinking.

"It sounded different, too," Alec thought out loud. "The hum was in a lower pitch. The rotors weren't spinning as fast."

"Which proves your analysis they're slower." 

"Still fast enough to get to the second floor, though," Alec muttered darkly. 

Logan's shoulders stiffened, but he didn't respond to Alec's barb other than that. He gazed ahead. They were drawing up to a sector gate.

Alec's body involuntarily tensed at the sight of the gate. He had the PCA id Logan created. Hell, he had a pass that would excuse his wanderings as _Jam Pony_ business. But every time a sector cop leered at Logan, dismissed Logan the moment they spot the medical exemption on his id, Alec wanted to reach over and yank the bastard in through the window to twist his ears off.

Instead, Alec smiled pleasantly and tried to look PCA-ish while Logan handed over their ids. 

"What was your business in Sector Four?"

Alec twitched. He caught Logan's hand flex tighter on the wheel.

"Visiting my acupuncturist," Logan replied smoothly. "He operates out of the Hale houses on Quanta Road."

Gray eyes narrowed on Logan's face. 

Alec stiffened. This wasn't some degenerate musing on the perverted what ifs of a guy in a wheelchair. He kept his smile on when the same wary eyes dragged over to Alec. He resisted wiggling his fingers back. 

"Okay," the cop finally said. "You shouldn't be out so late. There're a few shootings in the area a couple of hours ago."

Logan thanked him with a smile that didn't show any teeth and a hundred dollar bill. 

Alec breathed out slowly through his nose. The muscles at the base of his skull finally loosened as the sector gates shrank in the rearview mirror.

"Geez," Alec murmured out of the side of his mouth. He spied his side mirror. Sure enough, other cars were slowed to a crawl. One driver was dragged out of his vehicle to be searched.

"They're looking for something." Alec's lips pressed thin.

"Someone," Logan corrected. "I don't think the drone recorded a clear look of our faces, but enough to pass the word to Seattle PD to be on the lookout for two males." His mouth twisted. "Probably two _walking_ suspects."

Alec eyed the side mirror again.

"You know what this means," Alec murmured.

The steering wheel squeaked when Logan's hands tightened around it. 

"Someone tipped off Seattle PD. Someone with access and enough clout within to get the police to do their bidding. My uncle is definitely not working alone."

"I think it's higher up than the police department." Alec's insides twisted. "May be military. We're still under martial law; the military would override PD."

Logan exhaled. His knuckles were white around the wheel. "I thought—hoped—it was just another corporate partner, for the cash flow, but if he was taking orders from the military…" He shook his head. Logan's breath was harsh.

"My uncle might not know everything after all. Stopping _Cale Industries_ might not be enough to stop this. _Eyes Only_ has to go public with all this in a big way, make _Cale Industries_ so undesirable, all ties will be burned off." 

Alec stared at the glove compartment, his fingers digging into his seat.

Logan's car rumbled. Moments later, it groaned when the vehicle drove over neglected roads.

Alec's shoulders relaxed when he couldn't see the gates anymore in either mirror. 

"They're not looking for us," Logan murmured. He glanced over to Alec. "Almost home."

The word _home_ settled warmly in the pit of Alec's stomach. He rested his head on the passenger side window and watched a broken Seattle stumble past them.

Alec thought back to their encounter. Years learning strategy have him analyzing the events automatically. 

But Alec should be reviewing their tactical approach of Spanks. He should be strategizing how close they can get in front of the hoverdrone without getting his head blown up. However, Alec mulled over Logan and his gun instead. He studied Logan.

Logan, ever the vigilant driver, raised an eyebrow when he sensed Alec's scrutiny.

"What?" Logan asked slowly. His shoulders drew up higher.

"You were pretty badass before." 

It was an apology and compliment rolled into one. Alec knew Logan heard both.

Logan's shoulders lost its straight edge. He visibly relaxed; he looked bemused.

"Me?" 

"The way you almost shot Spanks's nuts off?" Alec twisted to stare at Logan's profile and to ensure Logan received the full weight of his leer. "Thanks, by the way. Totally hot."

"He was touching you," Logan said darkly.

Alec gaped. 

"Oh. Uh, yeah, bad touch. Me no like but uh, wow, _okay_. Didn't think that would have bothered you that much to pretend to aim for his dick."

Logan scowled at the windshield like he would have shot it too. He mumbled.

"What? Sorry, I don't speak disgruntled."

Logan's ears pinked.

"I wasn't pretending," Logan said louder. "I missed." His neck flushed.

A shiver curled hot around Alec's dick like Logan's capable hands. Coolness washed down his back. Heat pooled in his belly and flowed down to his cock. The contrast made his skin tingle all over.

"Okay," Alec managed, "What I said before about how hot you were with that gun? I changed my mind. This. _This_ is hot."

Logan scoffed.

 

The air in the car seemed to thicken the longer Alec and Logan was inside.

Alec's skin itched like it was drying, peeling off, twinging and burning whenever he moved. Or breathed.

Logan's breath was short and quick. It reminded Alec of how it sounded like when he pressed his cock into that tight hole and—

Alec shuddered. He slouched into his seat. With a grimace, he poked his knee again. 

A jolt of pain shook that shivery sensation off his skin. But glancing over to Logan again, Alec savored the look of his pink mouth, his fingers curled on the wheel, his eyes that would go mossy green soft then wide when Alec's cock inch into his body, Logan's head would throw back, his neck bared and those breathless, wordless sounds would rise as Alec's thrusts speed up and—

Alec groaned inwardly. He poked his knee again. Hard enough, his leg jerked in reflex.

"You okay?" Logan frowned as he looked over.

Alec shrugged. Sweat pooled between his shoulders. The agony screaming in his knee deflated the growing swell between his legs. But the itchy, too tight feeling of his skin remained.

"Twisted my knee," Alec reported. Logan's frown deepened. 

Alec jabbed at a spot above his swollen knee. Already, the sharp burn dulled. "But I realigned the joint after your guy picked up Spanks. Another hour or so, it should be good as new." Alec eyed Logan. "You?"

"A few bruises." Logan smiled tightly. "I didn't do much."

"Except convincing a perv not to be a perv, stop a giant killer hockey puck from ventilating my cute butt, coordinated a witness relocation and covered up a crime scene with a few phone calls." Alec scoffed. "You are a horrible, lazy person, you." He reached over and lightly punched Logan in the arm. 

Logan rolled his eyes, but his lips lost the pinched look. He huffed, conceding somewhat to Alec's point.

"Well…I broke a nail," Logan drawled.

"Oh my God, where's the nearest hospital?"

The chuckles dispelled the tersed air that hung in the car. Now, it felt easier to breathe.

Logan shook his head.

"What?"

"You saved one," Logan murmured.

"You mean _we_ saved one."

Eyes on the road, Logan shrugged. 

"You don't agree?"

"On my own?" Logan's mouth twisted. "Chances are I would have saved my uncle the trouble trying to get me killed."

Alec's stomach went cold. He gulped and stared at the windshield. His eyes drifted down to the glove compartment.

"Thank you," Alec murmured. He reached over and slipped a palm over Logan's abdomen. He soaked in the sensation of life pressing against his hand. 

"For what?" Logan asked, just as quiet. 

Logan's breath was slow and measured against Alec's hand. 

"For taking me with you even if we both thought this was only going to be a milk run." Alec's throat worked. "Thank you for letting me be there with you."

In and out, Logan's belly pressed back against Alec' hand. Even through his henley, Logan felt warm, full of life; his body sang _alivealivealive_ against Alec's palm.

"Funny," Logan said. He couldn't move his hands off the steering wheel. The subtle play of his muscles down his arms betrayed he wanted to do the opposite.

"I should be thanking you." Logan exhaled. Alec's hand sank when Logan's stomach deflated. Logan leaned forward a fraction, pressing into Alec's hand.

"I wouldn't have been able to…" Logan shook his head.

Alec rubbed Logan's stomach, his fingers feeling and gathering the wash worn cotton. 

"You would have thought of something," Alec said. And when he heard it out loud, he realized he truly believed it; it wasn't platitude or shit like that. He massaged up until he felt the defined shape of a pec. He palmed the muscle before his hand splayed to catch the subtle beats of life thumping against the ribs. 

Logan audibly swallowed. 

"Alec," Logan murmured. His voice was raw with want, rough with desperation and low with uncertainty.

Alec pulled his hand away with regret. He grimaced when Logan breathed out harshly in his hand's wake.

"Alec."

"We shouldn't," Alec said, miserably. He wished his voice didn't sound so unsteady. He cleared his throat. "Just to be safe." Because he should have before; only he had gathered Logan close and devoured, tasted, spilled and marked Logan as soon as Logan had relented. What if…what if then, Alec…

Alec's mouth pressed thin. He shook his head. His hand, now bereft of the touch of Logan's body, felt cool and too big for his body.

"We'll wait," Alec rasped. "Tomorrow."

Logan exhaled again but didn't argue. He appeared unhappy. Alec told himself he was finally doing something for a good reason. He only wished he felt a little better for it.

 

The parking level rang hollow when Logan finally stopped the car. They sat there, mute, not looking at each other.

The longer Alec and Logan were in the car, the more Alec was aware of how close Logan was. The center divider that held the cup holders and the controls for various things pressed up against Alec's thigh. It felt like Logan's thigh was flushed against him. A warmth Alec recognized was Logan's seemed to curl around Alec like the scarf he used to wear. It was just as soft against his skin, wrapping around his body. 

Logan seemed to have the same problem. His throat worked periodically. His shoulders rolled back every so often. His fingers had unfurled around the wheel before they wrapped around again one finger at a time. Alec couldn't look away. He stared at Logan's hands and their sly dance. He remembered those hands wrapped around his cock. 

Alec heard each other breathing hard, ragged like they just fought for their lives. Essentially, they did: man versus machine, _Eyes Only_ versus scumbags like Spanks and his uncle and the Red soldiers and shit, all Logan brought with him was a _gun_. That's the equivalent of bringing a knife to a gunfight. Then again, Alec did that once and so long one aimed the blade towards...

"Sam Carr might have the test results by now," Logan said abruptly.

"Where's your phone?"

Alec barely managed out the question before Logan grabs a fistful of Alec's collars and— _fuck,_ that shouldn't be hot—dragged Alec halfway over to his lap.

Lips clashed, teeth nipped, hands grappled as bodies collided. Alec squirmed to straddle Logan better. He tried to talk, to tell Logan how the sight of his long fingers curled around the gun coiled fire from his belly to his dick. He tried to tell Logan how his skin itched watching Logan handle Spanks. He tried to tell Logan he could have come under that flinty stare, green so dark they were the color of a storm tossed sea. 

Alec tried. But each time he took a breath, Logan dove in and stole it. Each time he opened his mouth, Logan's tongue licked the inside in a hungry plea for entry. Each time Alec curled his hands anywhere on Logan to still him, Logan writhed free, his hands grasping and claiming.

There was a reason they shouldn't do this. The reason skimmed the edge of Alec's mind. It drew close, then fled when Logan's mouth found another spot. 

"Phone," Alec moaned. He carded his hands through Logan's hair. He thought it was to pull Logan back. He found himself using the hold to tug Logan closer. He shuddered when Logan's lips nibbled down his throat and teased the skin under his Adam's apple. He felt it bobbing against Logan's mouth as he fought to get the words out.

"P-phone." Alec yelped when Logan dipped his head and latched onto a mouthful of shirt and nipple. Alec arched, his chest pressing to the sharp bites from that glorious mouth.

Giving up on being coherent, Alec patted Logan's jacket for his phone. He huddled closer to reach. Logan made a pleased sound and managed to unbutton enough of Alec's shirt to expose his…his…

"Call! Call him!" Alec almost bonked Logan in the head with his phone as he struggled free (or closer) from Logan's mouth greedily suckling and mouthing a teat to painful hardness.

Alec's dick boiled against his jeans. He wanted to give in to Logan's hands pawing at his zipper. He hated himself a little when he slapped the phone into Logan's hand before it could free his erection.

Logan mumbled what sounded like agreement. He teased the straining nipple under Alec's shirt. He fumbled open his cellphone; his eyes screwed shut in bliss as Alec tugged his hair.

"Call— _yes_ , that's so—no, wait, c-call…" 

The phone beeped as menus and keys were pressed. Alec grounded his covered erection into Logan's thigh. They sat crowded in the driver's seat. The steering wheel's lower curve dug unpleasantly under Alec's ass. Logan's legs were folded awkwardly in the car well. But neither moved. The inside of the car was stifling as they rocked against each other. 

The phone beeped once, bleated twice and Logan groaned under Alec's mouth.

"No reception," Logan moaned. "Parking level too deep under—no, no, no, _Alec_!"

It was almost comical how Logan made grabby hands for Alec when Alec withdrew at the news. Logan gasped, his cheeks flushed, his henley twisted around him like they did more than grope each other in the tight confines of the car. 

Almost funny.

Alec was breathing just as hard if not, worse. His dick pressed against his zipper. Staring down at a disheveled Logan didn't help either. Every nerve in his body charged with the need to crush Logan into the driver's seat with his body, his cock breaching Logan with a single hard thrust and to plow into that gorgeous body even after Logan wail out his release.

"We...we..." The word _can't_ was at the tip of Alec's tongue. He panted out his refusal because someone needed to stop this before it goes too far. But Logan chased his mouth, his grip on his biceps shy off bruising. There was nothing gentle about it, nothing hesitant the way Logan held on. It was hungry; it was demanding. Alec's body sang to reply.

"Alec." Logan's half growl and half groan sent a ripple down Alec's back. 

"We need to stop." Alec whimpered into Logan's mouth. He rubbed his covered crotch into the warm palm cupping him. He could feel Logan's hand even through his jeans, rubbing with the right amount of roughness, denim over thin cotton and a throbbing erection. He made a sound in the back of his throat when Logan ran a knuckle down the line of Alec's zipper.

"Wait," Alec gasped even as he humped Logan's hand, pinning it in-between their bodies. "Upstairs. Your phon— _oh God_ , yes, right there—call..."

It wasn't a coherent sentence; Logan blinked several times. But after a beat, his lust fevered eyes cleared. He fumbled for his phone then the driver's door.

Alec scrambled out of the car, almost bow legged. He nearly tore off the backseat door to get to the wheelchair. He hopped from foot to foot to distract himself from thinking how much faster it would be to haul Logan over his shoulders. Logan transferred over to his chair, almost forgetting to shut the car door, his biceps bunching under his henley as he sped towards the door and the elevator.

Adjusting himself, feeling like walking was going to be a small kernel of torture itself, Alec blindly followed.

 

"I think your elevator is broken," Alec moaned as he stared at the floor numbers in dismay. The digits took their damn sweet time going up each floor. 

"Why did I have to live so high up?" Logan craned his head to stare unblinkingly at the red LED lights scrolling up.

"Seriously, did it ever take this long before?" 

"I'm moving to the basement tomorrow." 

"Any reception yet?" Alec could hear the whine in his voice.

"Not yet." Logan sounded despairing. He stared at the cellphone he held like it had betrayed him, At least, it felt like it did to Alec.

"How does that even make any sense?" Alec glared at their surroundings. "What if you're trapped in here for hours and needed to call?"

Logan glowered up. He jabbed Alec's knee with his elbow. "Don't jinx us."

Alec snapped his mouth shut.

 

Sitting on his hands wasn't working.

Alec sat on the couch and his hands. He tracked Logan with narrowed eyes as the other fumbled for his earpiece.

"Come on, come on," Logan unknowingly echoed Alec as he pressed the speed dial number three. Alec knew Matt Sung was number two. Their beepers simultaneously rang out on number four. 

Alec briefly wondered who was on number one, but forgot all about it when he heard the line connect. He perked up from his seat on the couch, hands still tucked under his thighs. His hands ached to reach. He had to stop himself from hauling Logan down to the foyer floor and taking him right there before the front door completely shut. Logan wasn't helping by _not_ pushing Alec away.

"...for calling during your shift." Logan and his damn niceties. "I was wondering if you got the test results back yet?" He glanced over. "They're faxing over right now?"

Alec swallowed. He rose to his feet, but suddenly, his legs didn't have the strength to bring him over to Logan.

Logan's eyes were dark with understanding, his mouth a small twist that made Alec flinch. 

"I know we were going to talk tomorrow morning about it, but could yo—you can? Great. No, no, we—I mean, I can wait." Logan covered his earpiece mic and mouthed to Alec, "The reports are coming in now."

Throat tight, Alec wordlessly nodded. He took a small step towards Logan. He stopped. His stomach roiled and swallowing only made it worse.

Logan watched Alec the whole time he was on the phone. When Alec didn't take another step, his eyes softened. Nodding to the tinny voice in his ear, Logan gripped his hand rims and eased forward.

"...I know. I know," Logan muttered to the phone as he rolled closer to Alec. "I do eat, Sam, I just forget sometimes—the supplements? Uh, they're somewhere aroun—I'll pick up new ones, I will. Sam, but what about..." He sighed. "Of course they're on the last pages."

Alec felt rooted to the spot. His lips felt glued together and this was ridiculous, right? Because Logan's logic was sound: it had been months since Alec needed to hang around alleys for paying pervs. And he used condoms when he and Logan fucked—a word he still can't quite attach to what they did because it sounded too wrong, too simple, too distant from what it felt like they did. No, Alec was careful. Logan was safe.

The memory of Logan's moist mouth over Alec's cock materialized like an accusation. Alec flinched.

Stopping in front of the couch, Logan wrapped his hand around Alec's wrist and tugged him down.

Alec numbly sat down. Logan's conversation with the doctor blurred into an almost angry buzz.

Logan had swallowed. He'd always tried to. Alec felt the phantom sensation of sliding deeper into Logan's throat, thrusting as Logan tried to swallow him whole. Alec's thighs flexed in memory of Logan trembling against him, struggling to swallow all of his come, never quite managing because there was so much of it, because Alec piston into that mouth and took and took, prying Logan's mouth wider, his thrusts spurred by hungry noises and the wet suction around his cock.

Alec made a small sound. Logan's gaze whipped towards Alec. He grabbed Alec's hand again. Their clasped hands curled and combined into a fist.

Breathing harshly, Alec dropped his head to their combined clasp on his lap. Logan's knuckles were hard against his forehead. He welcomed the pain though because, oh God, he made Logan swallow, drink every drop; he had fucked that mouth, come over that body, possibly spilling poison and disease and filth…

Logan was still talking to his doctor, but he reached over with his free hand. He dropped it into Alec's hair. 

The conversation rolled together, syllables rumbling. Alec blinked blearily into the darkness their hands created. Logan's hand massaged tiny circles into Alec's scalp.

Alec squeezed shut hot eyes against the hands he rested on. He concentrated on the feel of those callused pads digging into his head, drawing whorls, nudging away the vibrating, screaming, twisting feeling that wrapped around his head and lungs. Because the more Alec thought about it, the more he remembered, the more Alec wanted to scream. Because if Logan got sick, if there was even a trace…It was on Alec. On him. On 494. 

It didn't matter how much Alec didn't want to. Try as he might be careful, he's hurt him. There would be no way to fix this, no way to get around it. He'd failed to keep him safe, failed to keep her safe even after he begged her to leave with her father, to not get in the car. He didn't want to hurt her, but she left before he could tell her that he lov—

"Alec?"

Alec didn't want to look up. He kept his head bowed over their hands. He kept his head down. Logan's hand soothed the wrong away. Alec didn't hear the tinny voice on the phone anymore. The call had ended. The test results were reported. All Alec needed to do was lift up his head and it would be all over.

Logan's hand slipped out of their grasp and Alec's hair. They captured Alec's face and tilted it up. Alec couldn't find the strength to resist. He wondered if his eyes looked as swollen as they felt.

"Alec…"

Alec tensed.

"They're negative."

Alec blinked.

Logan's thumbs stroked Alec's cheekbones. He held Alec's face as he leaned in. Logan kissed the thin skin under Alec's eyes. 

Alec's eyes fell shut. He felt Logan's mouth on his face. He felt Logan's breath on his skin. 

"N-negative," Alec repeated numbly.

"Like I knew they would be. Although Sam wasn't too happy about my blood sugar levels and threaten to cram a burger down my throat, but— _mmph_."

A bubble burst inside Alec's chest. He surged past Logan's hold, dropped to his knees and crushed his mouth to Logan's.

Logan gave up trying to talk. He relaxed against Alec's mouth, sagging forward, too forward out of his chair. Alec happily caught him. They sank to the carpet by the couch.

"You're okay." Alec swept his palms over Logan's arms. He framed Logan's face with his hands. "You're all right. You're…" A lump lodged in Alec's throat. He dropped his face into Logan's throat.

Logan rubbed Alec's shoulders. He whispered he was okay, Alec was okay, forgetting Alec couldn't get sick. Only Logan. But he wasn't. 

"Alec," Logan breathed. "There was never a doubt."

Alec gulped. He lifted his gaze and studied Logan.

Logan traced Alec's mouth with his thumb. Like a magnet, Alec drew up closer. He dropped a kiss on Logan's brow.

"My left pocket," Logan murmured against Alec's throat. He buried his face to the junction of Alec's neck. "Alec. God, it's been so long."

Alec closed his eyes. "Two days for the blood tests—"

"Two days to get the equipment," Logan moaned. "Four days, damn it." He tugged Alec's ears, pulling him back to glower at him. 

"Four days, Alec."

Alec brushed his mouth over Logan's as his hand reached down. "Sorry." He kissed Logan's chin. "Sorry." He licked the perfect shape of Logan's mouth. "Sorr—" He paused when he felt the crinkly foil squares in Logan's pocket.

Logan cleared his throat. "Like I said: it's been four days."

Alec choked in his laughter when he pulled out a long strip of lube packets. He stared at Logan, open-mouthed.

"Are you going to use those or not?" Logan arched an eyebrow. "Or are you really more in a mood for cobbler?"

Alec growled as he settled between Logan's legs. They stripped each other with trembling hands, gentle warring with need as they peeled down jeans and eased off clothing. 

Logan undid each button on Alec's shirt, taking as much care as Alec thought he would a present. He could see the hunger in the trembling of Logan's fingers. He felt the need in the feather-light touches on his skin. 

Alec echoed Logan, his hands shaking as he stroked them down every inch of exposed skin. He braced both sides of Logan's hips, paused as he cast his eyes about. His eyes lit upon the lube. His stomach roiled as he searched, oh shit, where is it, he could have sworn he bought mo—

Alec stopped short.

Suddenly, Alec burst out laughing.

Logan gazed up at him. His eyes crinkled.

"Should I be insulted?" Logan looked amused even though it was clear he didn't know why.

"I…" Alec gulped back a giggle. "I was looking for a condom."

Logan rolled his eyes. He smirked and there was something about him lying on the carpet, relaxed in his nudity, smiling up at Alec like the first beam of morning warmed his face.

"God," Alec breathed, "Look at you." He suddenly felt overwhelmed. Waves of feeling, suffocating yet also intoxicating crashed over his head. His skin prickled everywhere Logan's gaze wandered over.

"Look at you," Logan echoed. He palmed the back of Alec's thigh and prodded him to kneel closer. He squeezed the thick muscle. His hand felt boiling on Alec's skin. Logan's fingers danced lightly up to the fold under his buttocks and around to the fold of Alec's hip. He traced invisible lines to the tangle of short hair in Alec's groin. Alec's cock stood out of the nest, flushed against his heaving stomach, curved slightly, its head almost purple with need.

Alec batted Logan's hand away.

"I'm too close," Alec croaked.

Logan ignored Alec's plea. His eyes were dark with intent as he traced the start of the vein under Alec's dick with a knuckle.

Alec whimpered. His hips jerked towards Logan's hand.

"Four days," Logan murmured. "Not even a kiss, you wouldn't even let me touch you." He pinched the thin skin stretched over Alec's balls. 

"And it'll be over in four _seconds_ if you don't stop." 

Alec leaned in and captured Logan's mouth. His teeth and tongue thoroughly explored and tasted Logan's mouth. He pressed the length of his body over Logan's. The weight of their bodies trapping his erection between their bellies was both relief and torture.

With a gasp, Alec pulled away from Logan's mouth. 

"Was that four days' worth?"

Logan's hands wormed between them.

Alec groaned, his hips rolling because _yes_ , Logan's hands, God, he missed those—

With a growl, Alec caught Logan's wrists. He jerked those tempting hands high above Logan's head.

"Alec," Logan protested faintly. His eyes, however, gleamed as he watched Alec fumble behind him for his discarded jeans.

The silk tie snapped out of his pocket with a sigh. Alec grinned down at Logan. With his arms above his head, Logan's chest stuck out, well formed pecs and obliques smoothed out to a flat plane of lightly furred skin. Logan's cock shyly rose out of his groin pink and leaking. It bounced lightly against Alec's abdomen when Alec lowered himself to lay over his body.

"Four days," Alec murmured. He pulled Logan's hands to his mouth. He kissed each digit. Logan's fingers curled in response.

"Four days without this." Alec suckled one of Logan's index fingers. "I want to enjoy every minute."

Logan whimpered. He squirmed.

"Sh. Can't have you rushing me." Alec wrapped the tie around Logan's wrists. He keeps his gaze on Logan. Logan stared back with hooded eyes, his mouth parted; there was no fear. 

The absence stopped Alec. He caressed the tied hands before pressing his mouth on the loose knot of blue silk.

"Yeah?" Alec rasped, his mouth breathing warmly on Logan's knuckles.

"For now," Logan said hoarsely. "But if you don't do something soo—"

Alec pulled Logan's hands above him as he dipped in to swallow the rest of Logan's words. Logan's chest expanded against him. Logan's mouth was soft and yielding, but Logan's body was taut, hard and fighting to rise to grind against him. Alec understood the need to touch. He understood the urgency that rippled through Logan's body as he used a knee to nudge Logan's legs further apart. He understood the look in Logan's eyes as he shakily slipped lube coated fingers into the puckered hole.

When Logan cried out, Alec jerked.

"Are you—"

"No, don't stop." Logan weakly clenched around Alec's two fingers. He shuddered as Alec worked him loose. "I missed this."

"You're so tight," Alec whispered. He felt himself trembling against Logan's strong thighs. The carpet under Alec's legs suddenly felt too rough, not thick enough. He flashed to the image of Logan tumbling out of his chair.

"Is your back okay? Maybe we should—" Alec yelped. Logan grunted as he tried to squeeze around Alec's digits as hard as he could. It was a light pressure, but it startled Alec all the same. He splayed a hand on Logan's stomach. He rubbed the quivering muscles.

"All right." Alec kissed a spot above the navel. He stroked Logan's insides, his fingers scissoring as he moved them in and out. He felt the muscular ring snug around his knuckles, tugging as he tried to dart deeper. 

Logan murmured, his syllables low then higher when Alec's fingers lanced across his prostate. A soft whine whistled between Logan's teeth.

"Wait." Alec kneaded the muscles that connected from the other's hip to the side. He felt the corded tendons, the overwarm flesh. He dug the heel of his hand down the start of Logan's hip. He soothed out the shakes along Logan's sides, his fingers still carefully working him loose.

Logan tilted his head back, his cheek resting against an outstretched arm. He watched Alec through the cloak of his lashes as Alec dribbled more lube to his hand. He grunted when Alec added another finger.

"Okay?" Alec's throat worked as he twisted fingers inside Logan. He pulled them out. Logan huffed.

Alec froze. "Logan?"

"It's enough," Logan rasped. "Alec. _Please_."

Alec halted, the newest torn foil of lube still caught in his teeth. At Logan's heated look, Alec nodded. He rose higher on his knees so Logan could watch as he squeezed the cool gel over his cock instead.

The cold liquid was a shock on Alec's erection. He bit his lower lip as he slicked himself up with more lube. He sat back on his heels again. He felt hot and stiff-limbed from touching himself. He gazed down on Logan and words failed him.

Logan lay on the carpet, his eyes a smoky emerald. The flecks of gold in the gaze seemed to brighten. He smiled.

"I know," Logan whispered. He answered as if Alec uttered a question. Maybe Alec did. It felt like he did. His throat burned like he had forced words out. His chest felt tight like he had forced air around those words. And his ears ached like he heard whatever the hell he was going to say.

Logan seemed to know what Alec wanted to say, even if Alec was afraid to guess himself. He gazed upon Alec, his body stretched out like an offering, his mouth curled like he was saying a thousand different things.

A pillow tucked under Logan's ass. Logan's hands floated up an inch before they remembered their ties. Logan's breath quickened as Alec settled closer, one shaky hand still rubbing circles on Logan's stomach, the other just as unsteady as it guided his cock.

There was resistance. There was always resistance, but somehow, the tensed muscles refusing to open to Alec's erection felt like it was too much tonight. Alec almost balked. He felt the heated silk of Logan's opening, sphincter muscles spasming as they fought against the pressure of the blunt head.

Alec gulped. The condoms hinted to what it must feel like to sink into Logan, but this…The stretch of skin, the bristly feel of faint hairs, the velvet of sacs, the satin feel of the inner thigh. The sensations clamored at him too quickly; all he could do was feel. 

Logan's eyes stayed open, glued to Alec's face. Whatever he saw on Alec's face softened the lines around his mouth. Logan whispered, "Alec" It was a plea. It was an invitation. It was a promise.

Fingers digging into the bony jut of Logan's pelvis, Alec pushed. He shook when he felt the blunt tip of his cock finally pushed through. Pinprick flames licked his cock, raced up his spine and oh God, the feel of Logan, he could feel Logan's pulse wrapping tighter and tighter around him.

Guttural groans filled Alec's ears as he sank into Logan, until he was fully sheathed. He shook. He was dizzy with the sensation of being surrounded by a sweet dark heat that struggled to accommodate him. He thought he could feel Logan's heart beating life around him.

Logan's breath escaped ragged. His bound hands twitched above his head.

Alec rolled his hips back, his cock withdrawing.

Logan uttered a broken sound.

Alec rocked forward and drowned in Logan's body.

Logan whined out a needy sound.

Alec moved again. A vise clamped around his skull, his eyes. His vision blurred. Alec choked as he tried a tentative thrust. Logan was still too tight. The grip on Alec's dick was…was…

"Oh God, Logan," Alec swore. His head hung to his chest. He thrust again and the base of his spine seemed to have liquefied. 

Logan made tiny choked sounds. They might have been Alec's name; they might have been demands.

Alec snapped his hips into Logan.

Logan arched his upper blody. His eyes fluttered, wanting to shut in bliss. He forced them open to stay on Alec.

The pace quickened although it wasn't clear if it was due to the hungry sounds forced out of Logan with each thrust. Or it could have been due to the haze that drew a curtain over Alec's eyes. The feel of Logan around him: slick from lube, boiling from Logan's body, thrumming from Logan's heartbeat.

It wasn't clear.

It didn't matter.

The thrusts picked up. Logan panted as his body jerked across the carpet under Alec's strokes. He tried to touch Alec only to have his hands yanked back up above his head.

Alec leaned in until they were chest to chest. Logan moaned at the new angle. Alec's lower back burned as he stooped low, frantically pistoning into Logan. He could feel Logan's body shaping around him, no longer fighting but riding along the thrusts, caught in the ebb and flow.

With a snarl, Alec yanked Logan higher up on his thighs. He felt Logan's legs bookend his hips, twitching with each thrust. They both shuddered. 

Sweat dribbled down Alec's back as he fought to keep a steady pace, hold onto to Logan's hips. He staved off the urge to cut deep into Logan's body with a bruising pace and fill him up with his come, fill up that tight channel until come spilled over and sloppily coated both their bodies.

"S-shit," Alec gasped. There was a ringing growing in his ears. His body shook with the strain of holding back. "Oh God…you feel…I don't think I can s-stop…"

Logan drew down his bound hands. He feebly punched his fists in Alec's stomach.

"Alec…" Logan was cursing under his breath. "I need to touch you."

Silk unraveled and at the first greedy touch, something burst free in Alec. He garbled a warning. Logan merely curled his hands on Alec's wrists. Alec bore all his weight on Logan. He repeatedly slammed into Logan, his mouth latching on to a pink nub, his hands digging into muscle…

Alec pulled Logan until he was sitting on Alec's lap. And Alec pounded up, soaking in the feel of Logan's body, the scalding hot sensation of Logan's come spilling over their groins. 

Time blurred. The air on Alec's skin felt both hot and cold. He gasped, breathing hard as he held on to Logan. He crushed his face to Logan's throat, his mouth sucking hard on a sweet spot.

Logan clutched Alec's biceps to keep himself upright. He arched his lower back, flexed his shoulders and rode Alec's cock as best he could. He cried out when he came. 

White starbursted behind Alec's eyes. Alec howled when he came soon after. He bit down and Logan shouted his name. Alec tasted blood. He tasted sweat. He tasted Logan as he slammed up into Logan's body. Over and over he felt thick ropes of his come filling Logan, trickling out as Alec continued to thrust through their orgasms. 

Logan shook like he desperately needed tryptophan. He sagged against Alec, his arms tight around Alec, his chin bouncing lightly on Alec's shoulder as Alec's cock continued to piston up. 

When they collapsed back onto the carpet, they rolled to their sides without exchanging a word. Their arms automatically slotted into place. Logan whimpered as Alec breached him again; more easily but still just as heady. Alec continued to thrust deep into Logan's body, hole spasming because it was too much, too fast, too deep…

"Alec," Logan groaned as he came again. Alec cupped Logan's cock and felt the weak stream trickle over his fingers. He kissed Logan's damp nape. He didn't pull out. In fact, he could feel his cock filling again.

"I can't get enough of you," Alec moaned. He knew Logan could feel the stretch, over-sensitive to the point a light touch could send Logan trembling. Logan wiggled but didn't move away from Alec. He sagged back into Alec's chest.

"Think you can give me one more?" Alec purred into Logan's ear. He captured a soft lobe between his teeth. He snapped hard into Logan when he heard Logan pant.

"One more. I'm not done with you yet." Alec wrapped his arms tighter around Logan. He tucked Logan's legs between his. His hands wrapped around Logan's soft cock and began to pull. "I don't think I could ever be done with you. God, you feel so good. I could stay with you forever, fill you up until you can't take anymore. Then I'll fill you up again."

"I…I…" Logan shook his head, unable to speak.

Alec buried his face between Logan's shoulders.

"I want to stay in you forever," Alec moaned. He licked a stripe down a shoulder blade. "I can—Christ—you feel…I'm already… _please_." He crushed his lips to Logan's shoulder. He sucked hard. He felt the swell of a bruise warming under his mouth.

Logan groaned. He shuddered. Muscles flexed weakly around Alec's cock. Logan shook violently when Alec spilled into him again.

"I don't think I can stop," Alec whispered. His hips surged forward; faster and harder. His lungs burned as if he's been running, racing. They thrashed on the carpet. Alec felt the plush surface leaving tender rashes on both their bodies. He couldn't stop; Logan didn't try to stop him. 

Alec pressed his flushed face to Logan's nape.

"Christ," Alec bit out. "I…I don't think I can stop."

Logan whimpered. He clutched Alec's hands cupped over his groin. He writhed, sensitive to the point of pain, yet he gripped Alec's hands.

"Then don't," Logan gasped.

So Alec didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (flails hands) Plot holes! So many plot holes. I had to write them on post-its to rearrange for this chapter. I'm sorry!


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: contains parallels to "I Am and I Am Camera" and implies non-canonical child death

This was better than sex.

Alec gazed down at Logan half-draped over him. He thought Logan looked good against the sheets. He toed the coverlet and let it slyly slide off Logan's buttocks. He palmed the curve of one cheek before a pang of guilt made him let go. Logan never reacted.

Logan was too spent to sit up on the carpet after coming for the third time and last time. He laid curled into Alec, swatting away his hands when Alec tried to rouse him from the boneless stupor they found themselves in. He looked cross-eyed, his hair in a wilder disarray than Alec thought possible and scowled when Alec wiggled to move.

Alec had grinned goofily into Logan's hair and gave in. He stayed where he was with his arms around Logan, his foot idly rubbing the cool ankles tucked under him.

"Easy," Alec murmured when Logan stirred again with a grimace. Spanks's extraction and their activities on the carpet weren't kind to Logan's lower back. Alec reached down a hand; he dug deep, soothing circles into the corded muscles a hand's breadth above the cleft of Logan's ass.

A pang wormed into his gut when Logan grunted, his brow furrowing.

"I got you," Alec murmured as he continued to knead the too warm expanse of muscle. He felt the cramping that tightened the lower back. Spasms thrummed under taut skin.

Alec winced. He continued the massage. "Sh. I got you."

Logan sleepily mumbled. His brow smoothed out and slowly, he relaxed.

Alec dropped his chin on top of Logan's head. 

It would have been okay to stay on the carpet, sex and sweat cooling on their bodies and intertwined into each other. Alec enjoyed watching Logan sleep against his shoulder. And he was okay with staying on the carpet for the rest of the night, dinner be damned, the carpet scratchy against them. He was willing to sleep with Logan burrowed against him until dawn.

Logan grunted under his breath. Another convulsion racked his lower back, reminding Alec why ultimately, the idea was vetoed.

Maybe Alec should roll Logan to lie on his back. He absently stroked down the length of Logan's spine.

Logan sighed and his arms tightened around Alec.

Maybe later. 

They had exchanged sleepy kisses as Alec helped Logan back into his chair. Logan appeared content to let Alec ease him into the bathtub. Warm water spilled over the edge of the tub as they rocked as one. Logan lightly dozed against Alec's shoulder as he sluiced water over their limbs.

Dry and regretfully smelling only of soap, Alec had pulled Logan to lie on top of him in the bed. Logan snorted drowsily, warned Alec he might drool on him and immediately went back to sleep. 

Right now, Logan slept with his mouth over Alec's heart, his damp, unruly head tucked under Alec's chin. Logan slept on his stomach; his arms loose around Alec's middle in an awkward looking sprawl with his legs too straight on the bed. He breathed shallowly with a faint nasal wheeze, his chest and stomach expanding and contracting, lifting him off Alec every once in a while.

With a sigh and a lopsided smile, Alec held Logan to his chest, his own arms over Logan's shoulders. He savored the weight lain across him. Logan's cock lay lax and tucked into the fold of Alec's hip. Logan's sparse chest hairs tickled Alec's sternum. It felt like Logan was sinking into Alec. 

Alec shoved his nose into Logan's hair. Logan always smelled like coffee and paper. 

When Logan took a breath, Alec took a breath. His insides flared warm and fuzzy when it occurred to him he was unsurprised their breathing fell into sync again. 

Alec's eyes wandered down Logan's broad shoulders, the cluster of freckles and the subtle bumps of his spine, narrowing down the firm swell of his buttocks. 

Alec's eyes drifted back up to Logan's back. The ridges of ribs weren't as pronounced as before, but something twisted in Alec's gut to see the shadows of Logan's ribcage striping his upper chest. He mentally reviewed Logan's side of the phone call with Dr. Carr. Yeah, no more skipping meals for Heather. He brushed his thumb down Logan's spine, tracing the sleek line when he encountered a slight pucker, smoother than the rest of the skin. His smile faded as he traced the almost whitish scars that dotted parallel to Logan's spine. 

It wasn't a secret where Logan's injuries had left their marks. Even if Alec wasn't lucky enough to peel clothes off Logan's body and tasted every inhale shuddering under Alec's lips; Alec knew where the scars were. The video Alec seen was clear where the bullets had shattered more than Logan's spine. The chair spoke of more than unmoving legs. He felt the ghosts of pain under his palm. Each time, he felt Logan flinch every time his fingers brushed across them, so Alec's touch never lingered there. 

Alec found his eyes automatically drifting away from the scars. 

"Not pretty to look at, I know," Logan mumbled all of the sudden, his eyes closed.

With a start, Alec realized he was stroking the puckered, star shaped scars on Logan's back. He squashed down the instinct to pull his hands back.

"No," Alec said truthfully; Logan always saw through bullshit like that. "But they're not ugly either."

Logan sleepily scoffed.

"No, I'm serious." Alec's thumb traced the circumference of the highest mark. An inch higher and Logan would have ended up like Sebast—He splayed his hand over the old hurts.

"It's proof you survived," Alec kissed the top of Logan's head. "Proof you fought back." 

"My scars fade. I don't have anything to remind me how hard I fought to live." Alec skimmed his knuckles down the back. "Sometimes I wish I have something to remind me how _much_ I want to live. All I got was this damn bar code they gave me."

Logan lay draped over Alec. He stared across, not seeing the dark, not quite here with Alec.

"…Sometimes scars aren't enough to remind you."

Logan almost sounded like he was talking to himself.

Alec sank lower into the mattress until he was aligned with Logan. He stared into dull jade eyes.

"It's not always like that, is it?" Alec inwardly flinched at the plea he heard creeping into his voice.

Logan blinked, his eyes returning to focus. His mouth twisted. Alec guessed it was supposed to be a smile.

"Not always. Not as much as it used to be." Logan reached up. His fingers drew circles on Alec's temples. "Definitely not as much as before. It's just…There are moments when I'd…" He traced Alec's hairline. His touch was careful; fingers traced gossamer webs. It felt like a blind man's touch: fingers tracing and memorizing.

"I can't see my scars." Logan's hand withdrew. "My lower back…" He shrugged. His feather light mapping faltered.

"Oh. Right." Alec set his hands on the small and the lower of Logan's back. He felt Logan settle back against him.

After a few moments, Logan grunted again.

Alec winced. "We really should put you on your back, babe."

"Just a few more minutes," Logan mumbled into Alec's throat. His hands slipped under Alec's shoulder blades. His fingers splayed across the blades like spread wings. "Like this."

Alec huffed. He watched his breath ruffled Logan's hair. "You're stabbing me with your bony limbs." He breathed deep. "But fine, whatever."

"Whatever," Logan echoed. 

Alec felt Logan's mouth curve against his skin. He snorted.

"Don't complain about getting molested either. You cuddled right up into that position yourself."

"I see." Logan's response was dry even muffled over Alec's throat. "So it's my fault for cuddling?"

"Hey, you said it, not me."

Logan ran his teeth over Alec's collar bone. Alec's cock stirred faintly in response.

"Bite and I bite bac—hey!" Alec snorted, bordering on some unmanly giggles when Logan's teeth sank into the meaty part of Alec's shoulder. He wished the bruise he felt blooming there would last, but they never do.

Alec's hand rose to smack down on a firm cheek. He hesitated then moved his hand up to smack Logan upside on the back of his head instead.

Logan's fingers wandered until they found the spot that was not ticklish, no way sensitive to the teasing graze of Logan's fingers, no way vulnerable to the dancing tap tap across hi—

"Okay! That does it!"

Alec squirmed away from Logan's evil fingers. He wrapped an arm around Logan's lower back. He rolled them; Logan chuckled as he was now supine on the bed, Alec wiggling and squirming on top of him. 

Logan laughed, his hands batting away Alec's or tried as Alec dug fingers into Logan's hair and scrubbed, scrubbed and scrubbed.

The bed creaked as they wrestled, arms pinning and capturing, hands griping and grappling.

Gradually, the touches gentled, their holds were more careful. Mouths brushed across the skin. Breaths mingled. Names were murmured with reverence.

Alec's cock eased back inside Logan. Logan was still loose from before. Logan's heat surrounded Alec's cock; his body seemed to pull Alec in so deep, he couldn't help but follow.

This time, the pace was unhurried. The fevered thrusts from before tempered to a languid rocking motion. Alec swayed into Logan. Logan shuddered at every stroke. When he came, his cock wept dry, still spent from before, but his orgasm vibrated around Alec's cock all the same. 

Slow. So slow. Alec drowned inside Logan as he dove in with smooth strokes. He didn't feel the urge to devour. Or to take. Or to lay bare. He only felt. 

Logan's eyes rolled up as he shuddered violently, his body weakly clenching around Alec's cock.

Alec emptied himself into Logan. The gushes of thick come felt boiling hot on his dick as he filled Logan. He remained hard and aching; staying inside Logan always made his head spin. Alec collected the trickles of come Logan's body couldn't keep in and he smeared it across Logan's belly. His damp hands slid up Logan's body, marking every inch of skin as his and only his.

Slipping out of Logan was a different kind of torment. Logan uttered a mournful sound. Alec groaned at the same time. His elbows shook from holding him above Logan's body. Alec collapsed on top of Logan. They laid there with Logan pinned to the mattress. 

Harsh breathing filled the dark.

Alec rubbed his chin on Logan's clavicle and wished whatever clouded Logan's eyes every night would transfer to Alec's skin.

Logan erased phantoms from Alec's skin with hands that always felt like they could shape and reform whatever they held. It felt like Alec shed something dark and heavy with each touch from Logan. He felt lighter the longer Logan's hands explored him. He wished he could do the same for Logan.

Alec's head lolled on Logan's chest. He felt Logan breathe under him. He thought how it would be nice to hear this every day. And he thought that was a weird thing to think. Yet it felt so right that neither one of them felt the urge to fill the current silence with their voices. Logan's touch, the feel of him, the very weight of him against Alec spoke mysterious words. It felt like nothing else ever needed to be said.

Quiet. Here. Alec could stay wrapped around Logan forever.

Alec swallowed. 

"If scars aren't enough to remind you…How about a person?" 

Logan's breathing under Alec faltered. 

Alec raised his head to meet Logan's wide-eyed gaze. 

"H-how about me?"

Logan's eyes crinkled. The shadows on his face retreated. His mouth contorted, trying to remember how to make a smile. He came pretty close. He craned up to kiss; Alec leaned in to meet him halfway.

"That's more than enough," Logan whispered.

Alec smiled to himself. He dropped his head back over Logan's chest. He wrapped his hands under Logan's back to massage the knots he could feel. 

"Good," Alec murmured as he drifted back to sleep. 

 

Sitting across from Logan felt too far.

Alec chewed his waffle (Logan made _waffles_ ) as he studied the person on the other side of the dining table.

Logan was frowning at the stack of golden rounds. He had dissected the breakfast with a fork and knife. Apparently, whatever it was he saw was lacking.

"I'm jealous," Alec muffled around his food. 

"Hm?" Logan poked at a waffle. His brow knitted.

"You're paying way more attention to that than to me." Alec pouted when Logan finally looked up.

"You're supposed to be eating that and gazing dopey eye at _me_." Alec's pout curved into a leer.

"Although, if you want it in reverse, I'm more than happy to eat _you_ out and you gaze dopey eye at me."

Logan's eyes crinkled. His lips twitched. "How is that reversed?"

Alec waggled his eyebrows. "You wouldn't be ignoring me."

With a snort, Logan finally speared a piece of waffle and smeared it across the fruity mixture he made. It had blueberries. It had strawberries. It tasted awesome.

Alec swirled his finger over the puddle of syrup on his plate. He idly wondered how it would taste drizzled over Logan's biceps. He shifted in his seat because—oops—they already had to take a second shower this morning. Alec had wondered how good Logan's soap would serve as lube. He shared that _wondering_ with Logan. He thrust into Logan so sharply, they both came hard, come smearing down their bodies and undoing their first shower. 

"Waffle's undercooked." Logan made a face as he chewed. "It's been a while since I made waffles for anyone."

"Yeah?" Alec felt his insides wiggling. His face flushed. He stared down at his plate. He felt himself grinning. He probably looked goofy right now.

"I think they're great," Alec blurted out.

Logan grumbled. "The centers are not completely done."

"No, I like the gooey centers. Kind of remind me of those dumplings we had last week."

"The soup dumplings?" Logan stared at Alec. "The ones you said were made with…not beef?" He dropped his gaze. He shook his head, his mouth twitching.

"I still can't believe you ate all of them."

"Waste not, want not." Alec made a show of spooning the mushy waffle center (okay, _maybe_ they were a tad raw in the middle) and scooped it into his gaping mouth. "Seriously. Best waffles ever."

Logan's mouth curved into a lopsided smile.

"Says the man who thinks the greatest invention ever was his peanut butter and anchovy sandwich."

"Hey! Don't knock it until you try it."

Logan snorted. It wasn't cute. No, it wasn't, but Alec sort of, maybe, wanted to lick syrup off Logan's nose. 

"I can't believe you're mocking my food," Alec pretended to grumble.

"Perhaps you didn't hear me: peanut butter anchovy."

Alec shrugged. "I'm telling you: it's awesome. Would have been better with pickles, though."

"...pickles?"

Alec grinned at Logan. "I'll make it for you sometime." At Logan's horrified look, he snickered. "Then again, maybe not." He nodded to his plate.

"Besides, I don't know what you're talking about. This really is great." Alec's mouth gaped open. "See?" At Logan's face, Alec sniggered. He swallowed his food. He beamed at Logan. There was something so ordinary, so mundane about what they were doing; he couldn't stop grinning. He wondered if this is what normal, non-modified, test tube free people do when they're not busying saving the world or running away from what felt like the world.

"What?" Logan dabbed experimentally a napkin on his mouth. "I have syrup on me?"

"I wish," Alec purred. 

Logan glowered. "No. I'm still waterlogged from taking two showers this morning."

"Aw." Alec pretended to pout. Logan cast an arched eyebrow at Alec, unimpressed. Alec shrugged. He poked at a blueberry that escaped the bowl of syrup on the table.

"Nothing. I just…the waffles. Great. No, I mean…Uh, I think you're great."

Logan blinked at Alec. 

Alec felt a niggling feeling in his chest. He wished Logan wouldn't look so damn surprised. He also wished he could meet the jerk who put that look on Logan's face.

After a beat of hesitation, Logan's mouth curled into a small shy smile. His eyes shone in a swirl of green, brown and gold that Alec couldn't look away from.

"I think you're great, too," Logan murmured. 

"That's it?" Alec bared his syrup stained teeth. "I think I'm _awesome_."

Logan snorted. He collected more waffle with his fork. 

Alec relaxed as he watched Logan eat. He went back to his own breakfast. The sound of their knives against the plates and Logan's quiet chewing was weirdly pleasant to Alec's ears. There was a warm glow in the pit of his stomach. It hasn't gone away ever since he woke up and found Logan still half draped over him, clutching him like some freaky oversized teddy bear, quietly snoring by his ear and drooling on his shoulder.

By Logan's elbow, his phone chimed. And just like that, the soft feeling that hung over them popped.

Alec stared at his food as Logan answered the call.

"That was Matt," Logan reported after he hung up. "Spanks is going to be relocated to Montana for now." He frowned. "Matt saw a BOLO was out on Spanks and for two Caucasian males."

Alec's throat shrank around his last bite of breakfast. "What?"

"No description," Logan reassured him. "Just unknown males."

Alec covered the flinch. He pretended to bristle.

" _Unknown_? Nothing about 'devastatingly handsome' or 'cute ass'?" Alec chomped on a forked strawberry. 

Logan peered over the top of his eyeglasses. Alec closed his legs because damn it, he needed to grace Normal with his presence in a few hours.

"Anyway." Logan ignored Alec's snicker, but he was smiling. "I told Matt _Eyes Only_ will send someone over to get Spanks out of state. He also said the last two releases on the list gave fake addresses."

"Great for them," Alec muttered, "But this is going to be a bitch for us to find them." He eyed Logan.

"Do we get overtime? I demand lots of sex for compensation."

Logan took his time wiping his mouth with his napkin. Alec stared hard at his plate and not at Logan's mouth.

"I hope you meant lots of sex for you," Logan drawled, "Because offering Matt and Phil that kind of compensation might make things awkward." 

Alec growled. Logan laughed.

Grumbling, Alec speared the rest of his berries and danced the mess around his plate. 

"What?"

Alec grimaced. He glanced up; he caught Logan staring.

"Nothing. I uh…" Alec shrugged. "How long you knew Sung?"

"Since the start of _Eyes Only_." 

Alec nodded. He went back to his food. 

"Long time," Alec said casually as he cleaned his plate with a wedge of waffle. He looked regretfully at his empty plate. Damn, that went fast.

"He's a good man." Logan aborted sliding the rest of his waffle over to Alec's plate when he caught the glare. Logan rolled his eyes.

"He's not bad for a cop," Alec said as he tracked Logan's fork cutting into more waffle. "He has weird taste in food, though. Did you know he like pickles in his beef gyros?"

Logan snorted. "I didn't take his culinary tastes into consideration recruiting him with _Eyes Only_. I'll be sure to include that in the future."

"Eh, he's an exception." Alec took pity when he caught Logan making a face for the third time. Alec rescued the rest of Logan's breakfast. He chewed noisily, occasionally showing Logan how awesome the waffles were masticated in his mouth.

"So…" Alec said carefully. "He's been kicking up with you in the _Eyes Only_ business for a while, huh?"

Logan sat back in his chair. He studied Alec.

Alec fidgeted. Damn, he used to be more subtle than this.

Logan's mouth twisted.

"You think we should tell him," Logan sighed.

"That you and _Eyes Only_ are one? Mutually together? Both yin and the yang? You're like that Clark Kent in Phil's comic books?"

Logan scoffed. "I'm no Superman."

"Ooh, I don't know. I thought what you did to wake me up before was pretty super." Alec batted his eyes. 

"Phil needs to stop lending you his comic books." Logan shook his head, amused. After a beat, his smile faded.

Alec shrugged. "Look. I'm only saying it feels weird that I know, Original Cindy knows. Hell, even _Phil_ knows, but him?" 

"May I point out," Logan said, strained, "I technically told _none_ of you I was _Eyes Only_. The decision was taken out of my hands."

Because Heather preferred not to have told anyone. Alec bit back a scowl.

"You're right, though. Of everyone; Matt should be told. By me." Logan sat back in his wheelchair. He stared blankly at his plate. "It's just…I know you guys are careful and I try to take every measure—"

"You do—"

"—but I can't help feeling like…" 

"Hey." Alec waited until Logan lifted his head. Bleak eyes gazed back.

"I'm watching out for them." Alec felt himself sitting up taller when he heard himself. "What happened with Bling and your friend…" He couldn't bring himself to say Max's name; he didn't want to see Logan's eyes dim at the mention. 

"They're on our team." The words, the promise, surprisingly fell easy out of Alec's mouth. 

"I got their sixes." Alec was startled how easy it was to say that. He mentally floundered at the epiphany; it didn't bother him as much as he thought it should.

"I can't think of anyone better," Logan said softly, "to have their backs."

Warmth bloomed in Alec's chest. He peered through his lashes and caught Logan smiling at him. Alec tentatively smiled back.

"And you got mine, right?"

Logan's smile widened.

"Always." 

Alec's mouth stretched across his face. He suspected he looked like an idiot. It's getting to be a common thing. "Cool."

"Cool," Logan echoed with a chuckle. He sobered and took a deep breath.

"Okay. All right. Let's tell him. Tomorrow. We'll meet somewhere for lunch."

"I'll get him something. He's more of a gyro kind of guy." 

 

Alec was attacked before he finished yelping, "What the hell?"

Original Cindy grabbed Alec by the ears, dragged his head low enough to gape at his own boots.

"Seriously?" Alec huffed. He tolerated Cindy running her hands over his head. "Good morning to you, too! Hey! What's with all the groping? I knew my sexy self would get you to switch tea—Ow!"

With a tug, Cindy straightened Alec up, spun him around and patted his back.

"You gotta aim lower," Alec griped. "My ass is down that way."

Original Cindy grunted. She released Alec and leaned back against his open locker.

"You're all right."

Alec bristled. "Excuse me? _All right_? That's it? Not fantastic? Not—" He clamped down on his protest at Cindy's glower.

"A little bird told Original Cindy something nasty went down with you and your boy last night."

Alec rolled his eyes. "One: Phil is not little. Maybe I should stop buying him burritos because he's getting a little pudgy in the middle. Crimefighting is not good cardio." He sniffed one shirt, made a face and chucked it back into his locker. He grabbed a shirt he vaguely recalled was Logan's (his now). He tugged the loose green fabric over his head. He looped his _Jam Pony_ messenger bag across his shoulders.

"And two: clearly whatever _nasty_ went on, it wasn't; we came out okay." Alec squinted at Original Cindy.

"Unless nasty was a euphemism for sex. In that case, yes, nasty, _very_ nasty, _so_ nasty but hey, we still _came_ out ok—" Alec ducked before the hand of OC came down on his head.

"All right!" Alec slammed his locker shut. He spread his arms wide. He winked when Spike biked by and whistled. 

"See? One piece." Alec spun around and wiggled his ass towards his favorite tiny t-shirt clad lesbian. He ducked out of the way of her half-hearted kick with her shiny black boot. "And still very sexy."

Cindy scoffed. "Original Cindy agrees on your white lily assed one piece assessment—"

"White lily? I'm tanned all over! I sunbathe in the nude, you know!"

" _But_ ," Cindy went over Alec's indignation, "are you all right?" Her brown eyes softened. "You not leaking holes anywhere?"

Alec blinked. "Uh, no." He bared his teeth at her. "I'm souped up, remember?" He flexed his biceps. "Stuff can try to end me in a permanent way, but I heal crazy fast."

Original Cindy rolled her eyes. She stalked over. 

Alec backed up to his locker. The door rattled when his shoulders struck the locker.

To Alec's disappointment, Cindy stopped crowding him just before her boobs pressed in. She placed her hands on either side of Alec's head and leaned in.

"If you're trying to make Logan jealous, it'll work better if he was here to see it," Alec babbled because, sure, turn the lesbian, possible threesome—yay—but he doubted Cindy would taste like coffee, smoke and pure lust like Logan does.

"You heal fast," Cindy murmured, "But it doesn't mean you can't hurt."

Alec stared blankly at Cindy. 

"Now, you tell Original Cindy the scoop: you all right?"

Alec mutely nodded, at a loss for words.

Cindy pursed her cherry red lips. She canted her head.

"Good." 

"Good," Alec echoed. He grinned crookedly at Cindy.

Cindy narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"You like me," Alec singsonged. "You were worried about me." He spread his arms wide once more and puckered up.

To Alec's surprise, though, Cindy didn't step back like she normally would. She huffed, shaking her head. She ruffled Alec's light hair.

"Damn, boo, you found Original Cindy out." Cindy patted Alec's cheeks. "Of course Original Cindy gives a shit about her boys, stupid as men as they are."

Alec blinked, momentarily taken aback. He made a face as he touched the top of his hair; he'll need a cut soon before his mop rivaled Logan's. He caught Cindy smiling at him. His mouth curled up, tentatively.

"Uh…" Alec's remarks died in his throat. He stared at his boots. He looked up. Cindy was still there, smiling, a soft curl he'd never seen before. He mentally flailed and did the only thing he could think of.

Alec hopped into Original Cindy's space, dipped her and kissed her sloppily in the mouth.

A few catcalls rang out.

"Gross!" Cindy hollered after Alec, but she was laughing too hard to say anything else.

"I'm hurt," Alec sang out as he sped off on his bike.

"Does anyone know what 'no riding on the premises' means anymore?" Normal screeched from within his cage.

 

"I already knew."

Alec exchanged a look with Logan. But Logan's eyes didn't have the wide-eyed, "Oh shit" look. The green gaze was dull; Logan looked resigned.

The sound was muffled among the ruins of the salvage yard around them, an irony that didn't escape Logan and Alec. All that was left from the chronic scavenging were the pancaked cars too squished to pry anything useful out of it and the skeletal remains of buildings once served as the yard's office and smelting sheds. There was a broken water main somewhere; Alec's boots kept sinking into the sloppy wet muck. The smell of rust burned his nostrils.

"You…knew," Alec said slowly. There were a lot less yelling and fist swinging than he expected. 

Sung sounded unsurprised when Alec called him this morning. And he took Logan's confession surprisingly well. He stared hard at Logan, who met his gaze full on unflinchingly when he revealed he was _Eyes Only_. Alec, for some reason, found he couldn't. He stared just right of Sung's ear. He leaned back against his car. He tossed the wrapped gyro from his left hand to his right. He acknowledged the free food with a small nod towards Alec.

Logan kept his gaze on Sung. His shoulders, however, slumped.

"When?"

"After Bronck." Sung shrugged. "Some things didn't add up before Bronck, but it was only a gut feeling, so I never said anything. If Bronck's men took me that day too, I probably would have known for sure."

"Because they would have used you or me as leverage against _Eyes Only_." Logan exhaled. "Yes, if they…I would have said something then. Even if all it would have done was buy us a few more minutes." Guilt flickered across Logan's face. Finally, he broke his gaze. "You would have been collateral damage."

"I only knew because I caught him doing his sexy skulking around." Alec shifted his feet. "If it makes you feel any better, man, he didn't really _tell_ me, tell me."

Alec kicked the dust from his boots. "Besides, it wasn't my secret to tell. And Phil, he, uh, he sort of figured it out with his stalking stuff so it wasn't like we blabbed it to him first."

"You have a family, Matt." Logan was blunter. Alec grimaced. "You have your wife. You had your daughter."

Sung smiled tightly. "I get it. I know you have your reasons. And I get it." He glanced over to Alec. He appeared to have come to a decision; he nodded curtly. He clapped Logan on the shoulder "We're all right." 

"When you say 'We,'" Alec hedged. He smirked when Sung gestured towards him with the gyro.

"Extra sauce?"

"Dude." Alec spread his arms. "Who's been getting you the eats?"

Sung rolled his eyes. He shot Logan a look. 

"Him? Really? "

Logan flushed. 

"What?" Brow furrowed, Alec looked at Sung then Logan. " _What_?"

Sung bopped Alec on the shoulder with the wrapped food. He walked away with a lazy wave over his shoulders.

Alec watched Sung climb into his car. He glanced over.

"You knew he knew," Alec accused.

"I suspected."

"So now he knows we know he knows."

Logan screwed up his face. "What?"

Alec slipped a palm over Logan's nape. Despite it was late spring, Logan's skin was cool to the touch. He absently drew up the collars of Logan's jacket. 

"You okay with all this?"

Logan breathed out sharply. "Do I have a choice?" He shook his head. "No, I mean, yes, I'm fine with this." He glanced back to Sung's car shrinking in the distance. The wheels squeaked when he abruptly pivoted around. 

Alec stared at the back of the wheelchair. He trailed behind it, his eyes scanning the area to ensure nothing peeled away from the shadows to follow them or Sung.

The left wheel caught on a crack. Logan's hand slapped loudly as it tried to get a grip on the rim. He sat there, back stiff while Alec nudged Logan's chair off the muddy slop.

"He needed to know," Alec said carefully.

"Yeah," Logan said shortly. He stopped, hearing himself. His shoulders slumped.

"You're right, of course. He did need to know. I just…" Logan shook his head and pushed ahead. The wheelchair wobbled as it rolled over more uneven, wet ground.

Logan said nothing more; Alec took his cue and stayed tightlipped as well. Alec kept pace with Logan's wheelchair. He stared hard on the ground for cracks and holes. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he reviewed their conversation. It had ended a lot less messy than he predicted. 

Alec stopped in his tracks.

" _Had_ a daughter?" Alec looked back to where Sung drove off.

"Emily." Logan slowed. His chair creaked as the wheels dug deeper into the rain sodden dirt. "It's how I met Matt, back when I worked for the TPFP."

Logan stopped next to his car but didn't get in. 

"Emily was diagnosed with late stage lymphoma. The doctors at the time treated her with what they claimed was a new federal trial medication. And it worked for a time. She was undertaking the treatment for almost a year when the Pulse hit."

Alec's throat shrank. 

"What happened?" Alec croaked. 

Logan closed his eyes briefly. "They began to water down the medications, sold the skimmed off amounts to other countries. By the time anyone figured out what happened, it was too late to do anything more than make her comfortable."

Alec dropped his arm over his messenger bag before he remembered the case was in the guest room. "The owls?"

Logan chuckled sadly. "She stayed home from school a lot. Matt said it was all she would ever do. Because she thought owls looked smart."

Alec fiddled with his bag strap. He bit the inside of his cheek.

"He gave me one of those owls." 

"I know." Logan touched Alec's knee. "He said purple was Emily's favorite color."

Alec swallowed. "I liked it," he said subdued.

"I think Emily would like to hear that."

"Have you ever met her?""

Logan shook his head. "By the time I heard about corruption in that hospital, she was moved to a pediatric hospice. I met Matt arguing in the hospital about the bill," He darkened.

"They were charging him for things they never did, billing him as if Emily was still under their inept care. The hospice bills were climbing as well and his wife lost her job and all benefits because she took too many personal days."

Logan's hands curled around the car door handle.

"Everyone was too busy relearning how to make and keep their money; no one was watching over labor regulation. Matt was only able to keep his job because martial law meant they needed every uniform out there to keep the peace." 

Alec ran his hand down the back of Logan's chair. He skimmed a knuckle across the stiff shoulders.

"So you stepped in."

"He had already double mortgaged his home, at half more of the national prime rate." Logan shrugged. 

"At the time, _Eyes Only_ was an idea and Matt seemed like he would make a useful informant, so..." Logan's shoulders lifted briefly again.

Alec tracked Logan as he transferred into the car. He was quiet as he folded up the wheelchair and hauled it into the backseat. As Alec jogged around to the passenger side, he gave one final look at the direction Sung's car left. 

Logan watched as Alec climbed into the car. 

"You all right?" Logan asked. He started the car, not waiting for an answer. Not that Alec knew what to tell him. He nodded jerkily.

After a few minutes of watching broken streets zip by, Alec's throat worked. He thought about the tiny ceramic birds lined up on Sung's desk. He thought how everyone in the precinct veered away from them, almost reverently, avoiding knocking into them. He thought about the one Sung had tossed him, casually yet now Alec realized, not as blasé as he thought. Dark eyes had watched it sail into Alec's hands. A father's eyes, Alec supposed. Not that Alec had anything to compare it to. 

"It's not something Matt likes to talk about," Logan said suddenly.

Alec swallowed. "Okay." He glanced over. "He ever gave one to you?"

"After the first case we closed under _Eyes Only_." Logan's mouth twisted. "It wasn't purple, though."

"Oh." Alec chewed his lower lip. "He gave me a purple one."

Logan said nothing, but Alec caught him looking out of the corner of his eye. Logan set the car on cruise. His right hand drifted over to grasp Alec's. Alec cradled Logan's hand. He thought about a tiny ceramic nestled in a velvet cradle in the guest room. 

"It's a nice owl," Alec croaked.

Logan's hand shifted to Alec's knee and squeezed.

 

"Is this what you meant by more?"

Logan's hand paused in Alec's hair. 

Alec looked up from his spot on the carpet by the couch. The strains of a movie floated around them in the background, accompanied by the _click_ - _clack_ sounds of Logan's tiny laptop. He lay stretched out on the couch, eyes on his work, not on the screen.

"More?" Logan murmured, his attention away from the television. He squinted, trying to work past eyes dry from staring at the computer too long.

Alec twisted around. He folded his arms on the couch cushions and rested his chin on his folded arms.

"When you said us, only more."

Alec gestured towards themselves. Alec would have once called what they were doing as mundane. He'd seen the pieces of a moment like this in homes he'd broken into: dinner on the table, screen flickering with whatever movie Logan deemed a classic, Logan sitting back against an armrest, his fingers rotating gently into Alec's scalp.

It was quiet. It was uneventful. They didn't talk, not even about Sung this afternoon. Yet the silence sat comfortably on Alec's shoulders. And he wasn't bored.

It bothered Alec how much all of this _wasn't_ bothering him.

"I mean…" Actually, Alec wasn't sure he meant. He tilted his head up and studied Logan. A weird thought popped into his head: he could stare at Logan all day. He could sit at Logan's feet, listen to Logan muttering while he typed; he could do this, this absolute nothing with Logan, all day. His stomach felt warm like he just had a hot meal. His limbs felt like they floated in water. He hadn't felt like this since Rac—

Alec swallowed. 

Logan sat there, waiting. His hand was close to Alec; the same hand that drifted over Alec's skin, charting new territories.

"I like you a lot," Alec suddenly blurted. Immediately, he grimaced. "I mean…" He breathed out sharply and turned back around. "Never mind."

Alec could sense Logan's scrutiny behind him, but he couldn't make himself turn around again. He kept his eyes glued to the movie.

Logan dropped his hand over Alec's head after a few minutes. The typing didn't resume. Carefully, Logan cupped the back of Alec's head. His thumb dug into Alec's scalp. A cool ripple trembled down to pool at Alec's stomach. His feet flexed. Alec shuddered. 

"This is nice," Logan said quietly, low as if the words could shatter what was around them. "And yes, I…I think this is more."

"Even though we're not doing anything?" Alec joked weakly. His eyes slid shut of their own accord when Logan's fingers curled to give his scalp a tiny scratch before sliding down to his nape. "You're not even naked."

Logan's throaty chuckle wound a coil of warmth in Alec's chest. His broad hand briefly squeezed Alec's neck, partially covering the barcode.

"How is less clothing equivalent to doing more?" Logan's palm swept down to Alec's shoulder.

Alec shrugged. He hummed. He leaned into Logan's massage.

Logan's touch coaxed lazy circles to sink underneath Alec's skin. It felt like something was unraveling; loosening a coil Alec never knew existed. 

"Less clothing," Alec murmured. He grabbed at the bits and pieces of his thoughts. They seemed to have scattered with each press of a finger. He sagged back to the couch, his head tipped to rest his cheek on the cushions.

"Hm?" Logan sounded amused.

"Inverse relationship," Alec mumbled. He blinked half-lidded at the television screen. "Less clothing you have; the more I want to do to you." He squirmed closer to Logan's hand. "It's a math thing. I did a stint as a— _oh yeah, right there_ —as a theoretical mathematician once."

Logan made an agreeing sound. He continued to knead Alec's neck. He alternated his fingers digging deep into muscle and soothing across the skin. 

Alec felt like he could curl up right here and sleep with his back exposed to the windows and his k-bar tucked in his backpack far away. It was strategic suicide; a sniper's bullet could punch through his ribs, game over. He should at least maneuver to the other side of the furniture; let its back shore up against his. But the last of the afternoon sun was warm on his shoulders, Logan's hands worked on his nape and the living room's noise had dropped to a subdued buzz of the television, the rumble of far away thunder that never reaches Seattle and the hum of the refrigerator.

"This is nice," Alec yawned. He bumped his head against Logan's hand because Heather had the audacity to stop. He sighed when Logan continued.

"Yes," Logan whispered.

"I mean this more stuff, even when you're way too dressed."

The couch shook under Alec's cheek. Earthquake? He cracked open his eyes—when had they closed?—but everything stayed put.

"Hey," Alec mumbled. He shuffled closer so he could feel Logan's jeans covered thigh against his ear and still not look like he was touching Logan's legs. 

Logan made a questioning noise as he continued to roll out blissful rubs into Alec's neck and scalp.

"You've been typing into that thing since I got here." 

Logan's fingers paused.

"Why you stop?" Alec whined. He didn't bother to raise his head, though.

Logan scoffed softly and resumed his magic fingers routine. 

"Bitch," Alec grumbled.

Logan sharply tugged one of Alec's ears. Alec retaliated by reaching up and tweaked Logan's nose. He snickered when Logan sighed and readjusted his spectacles.

Silence dropped back over them. Alec realized his question was ignored. He debated repeating it when Logan cleared his throat.

"Working on a draft for my hack about _Cale Industries_."

"Already? You think you got enough for a hack?" 

Logan paused. 

"I will. I hope."

"Okay. Cryptic." Alec butted into Logan's palm until the rolling motions continued on his scalp. "Did you find something new we need to check out?"

"No. I…I'm going to try Bennett again. I'm going to show him everything _Eyes Only_ has on _Cale industries_."

Alec frowned to himself. "He didn't listen before."

"Before, it was his black sheep cousin telling him horrible things about his father and why framing him was for his own good." Logan briefly tightened his grip, but when Alec squirmed, the hold gentled back to the soothing touch.

"Now, it's _Eyes Only_ telling the future CEO about his predecessor." 

Alec reached up and captured Logan's hand when it dropped from his nape. He pulled the hand to his mouth. He kissed the each knuckle until the trembling subsided. He nosed the captured hand, now loose and curled next to Alec's lips.

"You think he'll agree to help you?"

"After I show him everything we have? I'm not going to hold back on any evidence now."

Alec winced. "Full disclosure on his daddy, huh? Ouch. He'll either hate your guts or loathe your guts." He smoothed a hand over Logan's side. "But if he's the good guy you think he is, he'll help you anyway." 

"We'll know tomorrow." Logan didn't sound like he looked forward to it, though. 

"I can see what I can find," Alec offered.

Logan tracked Alec as he rose up to his feet and sat on the edge of the couch.

"If there was anything more to find, we would have found it by now." Logan sagged back into the armrest, his eyes troubled. "We only made the connection to the hoverdrones recently. And the Reds have been lying low…" He shook his head.

"I've gone at this all wrong." Logan shot Alec a shadowed look. "Who knows how many died because I didn't solve this sooner?"

Alec exhaled. "I could give you all that spiel on how you couldn't have known, it wasn't your fault, you did your best, but it'll all just bounce off that stubborn head of yours."

Logan's mouth twisted wearily. "I won't argue with that." He laced his hand with Alec. "But I know what you mean. I can't help feeling like it's too little, too late."

"You're doing something." Alec's free hand cupped Logan's jaw. "More than anyone would have done. You gave a shit." Alec shrugged. "I wouldn't have. Unless I was ordered to or if there was money in it for me."

"You don't give yourself enough credit." Logan turned slightly to kiss the palm on his jaw. His stubble scratched Alec's fingers. 

Alec leaned in. Their mouths slotted together. Tentative touches deepened. Mouths parted. Alec straddled Logan and pressed in until Logan could feel his erection painfully confined in his jeans. Alec rolled his hips into Logan's stomach. He groaned when Logan undid his flies, peeling back to free his throbbing cock. 

Logan wordlessly pumped Alec, his hand tight around Alec's dick. He pulled with sure strokes. It left Alec panting. It left Alec wanting.

Yet as they undressed each other, brushing kisses on each new spot of skin exposed, Alec found he was all right with only this: the touching, the tasting, the sensation of overheated skin and the feel of their bodies moving against each other. It was enough. Alec came from the sound of Logan whispering his name. Alec came again after he stroked Logan to completion. As he held Logan, he soaked in Logan's orgasm trembling against him as pleasure drowned the other. Alec felt something hot expanded in his chest. Alec kissed the top of Logan's head and thought _yes. Yes._

Alec watched the credits roll up and disappear into the top of the screen with his face half turned over Logan's heart. _Thump-thump_ serenaded him as he idly scratched the short chest hairs tickling his throat.

"We'll figure this out, babe," Alec said to the serene heartbeat under his cheek.

Logan palmed Alec's nape. He said nothing, but his hand was warm and large. It covered Alec's bar code. He kept his hand there, the other idly following the shape of Alec's ribs.

The television buzzed low behind Alec. How it ended, how it even began, Alec didn't remember. He didn't care. He stayed half draped over Logan.

"So this is _more_ , huh?" Alec murmured. His thumb edged around a pink nub, hardening to peak over a dusty circle. Alec stroked the teat. Logan whined under his breath; Alec kissed the nipple in apology. Then he went back torturing Logan anyway.

"I like it," Alec finally said. He left his palm covering the teased nipple. He felt it straining and hot under his touch. "This more thing, even when we're not doing naked things."

Logan's laughter was a pleasant vibration underneath Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: more on Tuesday and hopefully on Friday the day after Thanksgiving. Thank you all for your patience as I make use of my high school typing lessons and type madly away.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers: parallels "I Am And A Camera" and mentions events from the "Berrisford Agenda"
> 
> Warning: messy and rough sex

"354 Jorgen Avenue."

Alec tightened his grip on the plate before it could drop in Logan's lap.

"So your exposé to your cousin yesterday worked. Took him long enough. After you had come back last night, you looked like you were pretty sure he wasn't going to call." Alec set down the food on Logan's spot. 

"Well, what I showed him yesterday guarantees I won't even warrant the company's preprinted Christmas cards this year." Logan grimaced. "But yes, he called."

"Is that's why you made our pork chops tonight?"

" _Our_?" Logan wheeled to the dining table, the bread basket and wine bottle balanced on his lap. "No, it's because I was getting tired of pizza." He made a face. "I know we've been working late with _Eyes Only_ , but I wasn't in the mood for broccoli and anchovies again."

Alec bit back a grin. "Had a craving for our stuffed pork chops, huh?"

"You keep saying 'our' like you had a hand in any of this." Logan snorted as he settled in.

"Hey," Alec protested as he sat down. "I provided dessert." He waggled his eyebrows. "And by dessert, I really do mean dessert this time. Although I'll be happy to provide _dessert_ after this, too."

"Mrs. Moreno baked those peanut butter cookies," Logan corrected. "She's the one who provided desser—" He paused. He made a face. "I mean, she made the cookies, as a desser—" He scowled at Alec across the table.

"Thank you. Now I can't say dessert anymore without…" Logan gestured the space between them. 

Alec snickered.

Logan huffed as he cut into his food. 

Alec's cheeks strained from trying not to smile so hard. Logan still picked through his food, ate too slowly and too little, but at least he stopped looking nauseated after each bite.

"So your cousin?" Alec wanted to kick himself when Logan's fork stopped in mid-air. 

"Bennett called me this morning. He wanted to meet at one tomorrow; said he might know where the skeletons are hidden."

Alec mentally reviewed the address with the maps he memorized long since he was Out. "Jorgen Avenue runs parallel to the docks. That's in Sector six." He frowned. "They pulled out most of their grunts there last month."

Logan scowled. "Seattle PD thought it was a waste of money guarding boats and bankrupt shipyards. Crime skyrocketed there about thirty percent the very next day they scaled down on patrols. Ambulances and fire trucks even stopped going there. Their vehicles were broken into too many times." He breathed out sharply. "If the politicians only spend a little money out there instead of lining their own pockets, that area could be a boost to our economy again."

"One broken thing at a time, babe. Remember?" Alec murmured.

Logan grimaced and nodded. The compressed line of his mouth eased. "Yeah," Logan returned in a weary voice. "I remember."

Alec scraped the bottom of the pan and passed over the carrots. He ignored Logan's look as he piled the orange disks onto his plate. "I don't know, babe. Not a place a rich guy should be hanging around."

"Bennett thought we should keep this away from the corporate offices." Logan speared the carrots on his plate. Alec held his breath until Logan ate each one. "I get his desire to keep this discrete."

Alec grunted. A fat lot of good that would do once _Eyes Only_ airs _Cale Industries'_ dirty laundry to the citizens of Seattle. He stared the pale blue veins that ran down the back of Logan's hand as the hand wrapped around the wine bottle to refill his glass. Again. His brow furrowed.

"You think this will help?"

Logan shrugged. He popped another carrot in his mouth. The longer he chewed—way longer than he should—a knot inside Alec cinched tighter.

"I don't like it." Alec stared back unflinchingly at Logan's narrowed gaze. "He could be feeding you bullshit to buy your uncle time." He caught the grimace. "Because I'm right, aren't I? He knows you're _Eyes Only_."

Logan deliberately set down his fork. "He asked; I didn't confirm or deny it."

Unbidden, Alec swore under his breath. Judging Logan's sigh, though, it was loud enough to hear.

"I've recorded a hack containing what we know so far of _Cale Industries_ and the hoverdrones." Logan focused with intensity on picking up his fork and stabbing the last few carrots. 

It felt like Logan jabbed Alec instead.

"I don't like where this is leading," Alec rasped.

Logan glanced up. "It's only a contingency—I know." Logan held up a hand in concession. "My contingencies suck." His face contorted to what Alec supposed to be a reassuring smile. "It's only to be safe." 

Alec has a lot of opinions on what he thought about Logan's idea of 'safe', but it felt like an argument that could only escalate from loud to louder.

"Let me go with you." Alec was beyond caring that he sounded like he was begging, because fuck, he was.

Logan lowered his gaze. After a beat, he shook his head.

"No. No, I—listen, Alec." Logan reached across and grabbed Alec's hand. "I'll be okay. I need you and Phil to go to Sector two instead."

Alec swallowed, but didn't pull out from under Logan's hand. "Sector two?" 

"Remember the last two early releases?"

"The ones who gave fake addresses? You found them?"

"One of them. Reggie Wolcott. I'm narrowing down where he might be. Should have an address by tonight if my informant comes through. I'm still working on the last one."

"Oh God, he's not another Spanks, is he?" Alec joked weakly.

Logan's eyes crinkled, his mouth crooked. He looked like he could read Alec's thoughts like he could see the roiling in Alec's gut. 

"No. Embezzlement. He used to work for the city department in charge of distributing aid to those desperate for it." 

"So you're going to see your cousin. Alone." Alec didn't bother to hide the tone in his voice.

"Bennett won't hurt me." 

"He better not," Alec whispered. He brushed his thumb up the length of Logan's fingers.

Logan's eyes were dark with understanding. 

"I'll be all right."

Alec numbly nodded.

"I'm more worried about you two." Logan's fingers squeezed around Alec. "If that thing shows up again…"

"We took it down before. We now know it's vulnerable in its rotors and frontal sections." Alec traced the faint scars on Logan's knuckles. "Hell, those cons left fake addresses. That murderous overgrown hockey puck might not even show."

"If I can find that address, they can."

Alec shrugged. 

"Alec."

"We know its vulnerabilities. And its limits." Alec let Logan's hand pull away even though it left him feeling bereft. "You get the dirt on your uncle. Phil and I will save a dirtbag."

Logan studied Alec carefully. "I'll be careful; just promise me you'll do the same."

"Don't worry, I will." Alec cracked a half-hearted leer. "And we get back here, I watch you do your hack naked and then we'll celebrate with dinner."

Logan's eyebrow arched up. "Who said anything about doing anything naked?"

Alec opened his eyes as wide as possible. "Please?"

Logan snorted, playing along. "No."

"Fine," Alec pretended to grumble. "I only figured it would save some time if you did it naked because we're going to be naked later anyway."

"Nice try." Logan shook his head as he tore a piece of bread to clean the sauce off his plate.

Alec set his chin on the heel of his hand. The churning in his stomach subsided. A little. The thought of him going one direction and Logan the other wasn't a new one. The idea now made him ill. Alec would ralph if it didn't mean a waste of a pork chop. Logan made good pork chops. Meaty, juicy, the spicy sweet sauce trickling down the corner of Logan's mouth, his lips slightly pursed as he chew each tender morsel, his strong line of a throat working as he swallowed…

Suddenly feeling hot, Alec watched Logan finish the food. There was a ridiculous urge to clamor over the table to taste dinner inside Logan's mouth. 

Logan noticed Alec's stare. He glanced up. His mouth twitched at the corner. He slowly licked the sauce off his lower lip.

Alec's stomach clenched. He gulped.

"I'm done with dinner," Alec murmured, his eyes glued to Logan's mouth. "What say we have dessert?"

"I wish you would stop referring to Mrs. Moreno's cookies as dessert."

"Who said anything about cookies?"

 

"I think I could use a cookie now," Logan said breathlessly, "Or a shower." 

Seattle suffered another brown out after dinner, forestalling _dessert_ to the living room. The brown out brought out the candles. And in the dim, the dark co-mingling with the silence, it was almost easy to fool Alec that time froze. Tomorrow wasn't going to come. Tonight, Logan was here to stay curled drowsy and breathing within Alec's arms. 

The shadows on the walls were blurred. They felt the space feeling distant, fuzzy, not anchored to any time. The flickering pillars of candlelight left Logan's skin golden. It begged to be tasted. He snorted when Alec ran the edge of his teeth down his chest.

"Like I'm letting you off this couch any time soon." Alec rearranged themselves, so Logan was in-between the couch and Alec. He slipped his feet under Logan's calves. His toes dug into the weak muscles there. He pressed in his toes.

Logan's left foot jolted off the couch in a spasm.

"Sorry," Alec murmured. He started to pull his feet away.

Logan's arms tightened around Alec's middle. "No. It's fine."

"You sure?"

Logan squeezed Alec in response.

Alec wiggled closer to Logan; his feet went back to massaging the calf muscles. He wished Logan stopped doing too many sets of leg extensions. Even though Logan was able to fight off atrophy, Alec felt the knots and the taut tendons gnarled up the overworked legs. 

Logan's feet flexed involuntarily when Alec's foot pressed too deep along the Achilles. Logan made a sound.

Alec kissed Logan's temple.

"You gotta ease up on those reps, babe." Alec slid his hand down the line of Logan's body. "I don't think you have anything to worry about your girlish figure."

Logan snorted. 

Alec rubbed down Logan's legs with firm pressure from his heels. 

Logan hissed. He shook his head when Alec opened his mouth.

"Only a twinge."

"That didn't look like a twinge," Alec pointed out. "How much of that did you feel?"

Logan grimaced. "Enough to know I'll take a break from PT this week."

"If you want to burn calories…" Alec pressed his leer into Logan's shoulder.

Logan slapped the back of Alec's head. The blow lacked any strength, though. It barely ruffled Alec's hair.

Alec chuckled with Logan. Moments later, they fell back into the relaxed surroundings as before. They lay tangled with each other on the couch, their eyes half mast, their mouths as soft as their touches.

The couch offered little support under Alec's body. He knew they couldn't stay too long because of Logan's back. He drew symbols on Logan's arm; he felt Logan do the same. Alec pressed his face against Logan's chest. He breathed deep.

"Tomorrow," Alec whispered.

"Tomorrow," Logan echoed back.

"Watch yourself tomorrow, Heather," Alec murmured.

"Same goes for you, Dean."

Alec rubbed his chin on Logan's chest. Logan accepted the non-verbal promise with a kiss to Alec's brow.

 

_The piano tune thrummed under his skull. They felt like spikes digging into his inner ear. When he told his CO, the weathered face with tobacco stained teeth twisted into a satisfied smirk._

_"Play along, 494. This can bring you beneficial access."_

_"Yes, sir."_

_Wide eyes reflected his face this close. He looked shell-shocked in them. He smelled the pool's chlorine. A part of him prepared to go under and hold his breath. A part of him expected to hear the stopwatch. Ready. Set. Drown._

_"Don't you like me?"_

_"I like you."_

_Her lips were soft. Her nose bumped into his. She tasted a little bit of the jam she liked to spread on her toast. She had blackberry today._

_When he ran his tongue across his lower lip, the sweetness flared. He floundered; in water and inside. He stared at her and wondered why she smiled while the world reeled underneath. He swallowed and wished someone told 494 what to do.  
"I…I like you a lot."_

_When she smiled again, 494 wished he was Simon._

_He could save her._

_"Listen to me. You and your father need to leave town right now."_

_Blackberry jam, eyes green as the grass beneath their bodies._

_He could save her._

_"Come with me."_

_She twisted away and something crumpled inside._

_"No! Tell me what's happening."_

_He told her: the one who tasted like blackberries and felt like the sunshine on his skin. He told her. He tried to tell her more. But she left. Left him and threw herself towards a certain doom._

_He couldn't save her._

__

 

The hand on Alec's cheek felt like a bucket of cold water.

Alec jerked. He almost knocked heads with Logan. He tightened his hold around Logan before he rolled back on the bed.

"Sorry," Alec muttered. He kissed Logan's brow. "Did I wake you?"

"It's morning," Logan said instead. "Sort of." He sounded groggy. He lay still while Alec kissed and nuzzled him. 

Alec sighed. He bumped his head to Logan's chin. Logan obliged by tipping his head back. Alec shoved his face into Logan's throat. He nosed the pulse beating in Logan's jugular. He felt his body relax. He groaned as he burrowed closer.

"Bad?"

The smell of burnt fuel filled Alec's nostrils. His throat felt dry as if he screamed, yet he hadn't screamed that day. Not out loud, at least. 

Alec shrugged. 

Logan nodded. To Alec's relief, he didn't press; Logan never did even if Alec could feel the journalist in him thrumming to ask. His arms only gathered Alec closer. Their noses gently bumped against each other. Theirs exhales mingled. The space between their bodies felt humid and hot. The blanket was heavy twisted around their legs.

Alec wanted to yank the covers over their heads; he wanted to stay here, dovetailed into Logan, overheated from sleep and Logan's proximity. 

"You be careful out there today," Alec whispered. He grimaced. His voice sounded too hushed, too much like a prayer within the hollow of their bodies.

Logan's hands clasped behind Alec's shoulders in a prayer of his own. "You too."

"Maybe I should—"

"Alec." Logan fidgeted closer. Alec thought he could feel the flutter of Logan's lashes against his cheek.

Alec exhaled, disturbing a few strands of bangs flopped over Logan's brow. He slipped an arm down the length of Logan's back. He stroked the spine, asking, begging and waiting.

Logan murmured Alec's name; slurred and content. He rolled with Alec's help onto his other side, fitting into the curve of Alec's body. His hands lightly ran over Alec's arms wrapped around his middle. He rocked with Alec, boneless yet vibrating. 

Or maybe Alec was the one who was shaking. His erection strained to stay with the languid pace, brushing over Logan's opening, skimming but not taking. He wanted to slide in, feel if Logan was still loose from last night. He wanted to feel Logan breathe against him, around him; alive and solid and away from rigged cars and betrayal. 

Alec ground his cock to Logan's side with an edge of growing desperation. He knew Logan could feel it; his breathing hitched when Alec's cock skimmed the side of his ribs. 

"Now," Logan murmured. His whisper evaporated as soon as it was spent. The darkness in the room swallowed the words; it left behind a raw edge of need. 

"Alec," Logan breathed. His head lolled and rested back on Alec's chin. "Alec. Please…"

Alec. Not 494. Not Simon. _Alec_.

Logan reached behind and cupped Alec's jaw. He whispered "Yes."

Somewhere, somehow, within the hazy, drowsy space of their bodies, a packet of lube was fumbled out. Alec's slicked cock slid into Logan's body in a fit so tight, too tight, it was god damn perfect.

Logan shivered as he was filled. His entrance stretched around the blunt head of Alec's cock. Logan's sigh was half muffled with a sob of relief. Logan's arms flexed when Alec began to inch in. His stomach flexed when Alec bottomed out. His mouth fell open with a tiny moan when Alec's pace quickened. 

The bed groaned in unison with Alec and Logan. Muscles once soft with sleep went tense as connected bodies moved.

Logan stayed slumped back into Alec, on his side, murmuring breathless and incoherent syllables as he rode Alec's cock. His hands gripped Alec's wrists where they crossed over Logan's abdomen. Logan held on with a fighting spirit that echoed with the heart pounding against Alec's chest. _Alive_ , Logan's body said. _Alive_. Not left in a hollow husk hooked up to plastic and ventilators and monitors.

"So beautiful. So perfect," Alec whispered into the side of Logan's throat. "You feel so good." His hips snapped up; Logan jerked from the hard thrust. Alec's hips crashed against Logan. He squeezed his arms around Logan to keep him on his side.

Logan feebly tried to arch his lower back to meet Alec's thrusts. He huffed, frustrated.

"Alec," Logan drowsily mourned.

A rush of feeling came over Alec. He nosed Logan's hairline. He kissed the nape over and over. He moved his hands to Logan's hips and hitched the other's ass higher and back. Alec's pace picked up to something sharper, deeper and breathtakingly faster. 

Logan groaned Alec's name. He dropped his head back onto Alec's shoulder.

Alec 's knee nudged one of Logan's legs to bend to his chest. He moved one hand to Logan's ass. Alec pried Logan's cheeks apart, spreading him obscenely wider despite lying on his side. Logan whimpered, his body weakly clenching around Alec's thrusts. Alec replied with a series of jabs, alternating from short to long.

The bed creaked as Alec fucked Logan in a frenzy of strokes that tore gasps from Logan. Logan's hands clamped over Alec's wrist threatened to draw blood, wordlessly demanding and pleading at the same time. He bucked in place as Alec pounded into him. Logan gasped when the pace blurred; he keened when the pace slowed. Logan sounded hungry. His body shook like it craved. His hands clutched Alec's, demanding for more.

Alec answered him.

Bed sheets twisted. Skin glistened with sweat. There was a wet slapping sound as they moved. The bed vibrated like it would collapse at any given moment.

When Logan came, he moaned. He sounded disappointed. His hand moved back to brush over where they were connected. His fingertip felt knife sharp when it grazed over Alec's cock as it dove into Logan.

Alec slowed. "What are you—"

"Don't…" Logan panted. "Keep goin— _Alec_ …"

Logan's back curved, his shoulders shaking as Alec piston into him, into that glorious body shuddering, sensitive from orgasm. Logan's finger brushed over and over where they connected, mapping where Alec's cock breached him, drawing symbols on the come that spurted out with each thrust.

Alec needed to clamp his legs tight around Logan's hips, securing the other flushed to him. Logan's body writhed with each stroke. Alec wiggled closer, his legs wrapped possessively around the bucking body. Alec tilted his pelvis, changing the angle as he thrust.

Logan groaned gutturally when he came for the second time. His insides weakly gripped around Alec's cock. Alec slammed repeatedly into Logan and came violently. His head spun as it felt like everything inside surged forward in a single punch. He felt the silken heat of Logan around his dick. He felt Logan sticky and wet around his cock because he was still eagerly coming, filling Logan until he was dripping and full.

Finally, it felt like Alec couldn't come anymore. With a regretful exhale, Alec thrust shallowly into Logan until Logan whimpered, raw and over-sensitive. Alec peppered Logan's nape with kisses before slipping free. 

Logan sagged deeper into the mattress.

Alec settled back against Logan and reached around to wrap his arms around the other's middle once more.

"Wow," Logan gasped. He was out of breath. His body heaved pleasantly against Alec.

Alec buried his hot face into Logan's nape.

"Better than wow," Alec murmured. He could feel come still trickling out of Logan. His mouth watered; his cock stirred.

"Aw man." Alec wiggled against Logan, his semi-erect cock grinding against Logan's lower spine. He ground his cock into Logan's ass. "I can't ever get enough of you. What you do to me."

Logan moaned.

"Alec, I need to drive almost two hours to meet Bennett later. Two hours. Driving. Sitting on my ass. I'm already feeling it and that's saying something, all things considered."

The heat ballooning in Alec's gut fizzled. He gulped. "Shit. Was I too…" He turned Logan to settle on his back. He reached down and brushed a finger over Logan's hole. "Are you bleeding?" 

Logan pushed Alec's hands away.

"Babe, wait, I need to check—"

"I'm fine." Logan was firm. He gazed up to Alec. "That much I can tell. No, before…It was good." His ears pinked. "Ah…better than good."

Alec felt like he could sag into a pile of goo on top of Logan. "Oh." He considered his finger glistening with come. He blinked at Logan.

"How does it feel?" Alec asked hesitantly. 

"Feel?"

Alec flailed a hand towards Logan. "You know…when I'm…" He swallowed as he studied his hands,

"How much of it do you really feel?" Alec exhaled. "You said you can feel something when I try to enter you, but what about inside? I mean…we get pretty rough. You said it was the only way you can feel something, but…" He rubbed the back of his neck. He wished he hadn't asked after all. 

Logan closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he smiled sloppily at Alec.

Alec hesitantly grimaced back.

"It's a contradiction."

Alec screwed up his face. "Huh?"

Logan brushed his hand down Alec's flank. Alec shivered.

"Sometimes it feels like there's so much of you," Logan murmured. He carefully cupped Alec's balls, his fingers rolling them, pinching, touching…

Alec bit his lower lip as his hips snapped into Logan's hand.

"And sometimes it feels like there's not enough of you." Logan's other hand slipped down to his own groin. "Sometimes, it feels like a little of both."

Alec watched, riveted, as Logan tentatively dipped a finger into his own hole. It slipped up to the first knuckle before it retracted glistening wet.

Logan's mouth parted as he considered the damp digit. He trailed it down the underside of Alec's cock, murmuring when it twitched.

"So…it's good then?" Alec managed as Logan's hand abandoned his balls. He whined, thrusting into the space where Logan's hand has been. 

"Very good." Logan slowly wrapped fingers around Alec's cock. He surrounded Alec with a loose fist. He let it drift up and down the length in no particular hurry.

Alec grabbed Logan by the wrist. Logan's hand cinched tight enough to rip a groan out of Alec. Alec's hand shook as it slipped over Logan's fist and went along the quickening pace. His hips snapped into their combined fists. His thighs quivered as Alec fought to stay on his knees, Logan framed between his legs. 

"As good as this," Logan breathed as he coaxed Alec's orgasm with rough pulls. Come painted across his chest and throat. He grunted when Alec dropped heavily on top of him. But Logan didn't push him away. He didn't complain at the splatters of hot come smeared between their bodies. He held onto Alec, his hands on Alec's arms, breath stuttering as they rock against each other. Come trickled down his sides as chests glided against each other. Alec's hand snaked between them and captured both their cocks and soon, the gentle motions on the bed sped up to a more frantic pace.

Alec reveled in the feel of Logan's cock hardening against his, weeping as Alec squeezed both heads every so often. Logan's moans kept breaking off into choked sounds, hungry, needy sounds. He could feel Logan's heart hammering against his rib cage. Logan's stomach fluttered as breath quickened. Every sensation rose when Alec breached Logan. He snapped a few short thrusts into Logan. 

It was over quickly. Logan shuddered violently against, around, under Alec. His cock twitched, filling sluggishly as Alec rocked deep and hard into him. Logan sobbed, his chest heaving as he writhed. His cock sluggishly filled.

Alec growled. He grabbed Logan by the hips, hauled him up over his thighs and delivered a series of strokes that left Alec's lower back aching.

Logan threw his head back and _screamed_. 

Coming inside Logan felt like the first time every time. Alec piston into that long line of a body, his cock throbbing as Logan's body cinched hot and wet around him. His head spun as Logan's orgasm vibrated around him, pulling and tugging his cock like a strong callused hand and he couldn't help it, he tried to slow it down, Alec felt like he was convulsing as he gathered Logan close, bent over and continued to pound into him. 

White starburst behind Alec's eyes and charged a fire down to his tailbone. Alec came again; it felt like everything inside him burst out and poured into Logan.

Logan grunted, brow furrowing when Alec's cock slipped free. Logan patted blindly for Alec. He mumbled as he was rolled back to his side and tucked against Alec. His breathing evened out and Logan found his voice.

"Like that," Logan mumbled. "It always feels like that."

It was random. It lacked all the porny details Alec would have begged for. 

But Alec knew exactly what Logan meant.

Alec clutched Logan to him, only relaxing his hold when Logan's shoulders fidgeted against him. Alec studied Logan, flushed and spent, lightly dozing curled into Alec. 

This.

Logan didn't taste like blackberries. His hands were broader, his mouth wider. His arms and legs were thick and sleek with muscle. While his fingers danced across keyboards with a musician's grace, he couldn't carry a tune (Alec peed on himself, laughing when he caught Logan trying to hum in the shower one morning.

Everything was different about Logan. And yet this. _This_. Felt the same.

Alec gulped.

Logan stirred. He tipped his head up, his eyes half lidded, his lower lip swollen from bruising kisses. 

Alec felt caught, floating in a pool, lips faintly tingling after a kiss that shouldn't have happened.

"I do like you a lot," Alec rasped. He stroked Logan's jaw. "I…I think maybe…Maybe...maybe next time, I could, I mean you..." 

Logan made a visible effort to rouse further. His brow furrowed.

The words lodged in Alec's throat. He pushed them through; the rest came out in a blurt.

"Nexttimeyoushouldfuckme."

Logan's eyes widened a fraction. His Adam's apple bobbed. He didn't say anything, but his eyes sharpened. He reached out smoothing down Alec's back with his warm palm and sprinkle of calluses. The hand caressed the length of Alec's back then stopped. But after a beat, the hand went back tracing Alec's spine. Logan's index finger lay across the width of Alec's spine, bobbing gently over the ridges, going lower. Fingers connected to a broad palm too hot, too dry, skimmed the cleft of Alec's ass, cupped a buttock cheek, parting to graze blunt nails over his hole and—

Abruptly, the hand disappeared.

"Breathe, Alec," Logan whispered.

With a start, Alec realized he was rigid in Logan's arms. He exhaled in a _whoosh_ ; his breath was loud and harsh in his ears.

Logan kissed the top of Alec's head. He went back to sweeping his palm down the line of Alec's back. And Alec realized it was also to iron out the trembling Alec didn't know he was doing.

"Sorry," Alec mumbled into Logan's chest. "Didn't seem fair to let me, you know..." 

"Fuck me?"

Alec grimaced. "I guess that's the technical term for it."

"Well, if you want to go _technical_ , we should say inter—"

Alec caught a pink nub with his teeth. The nipple hardened when Alec kissed it first and then tugged.

Logan shook. 

"You were the one who wanted to get technical." Logan's chuckles faded. His hand palmed Alec's right shoulder blade as if testing its shape. 

"It just sounds so..." Alec breathed over a nipple. Logan's breath caught. "The word 'fuck' doesn't cover what we do. I know I throw that word around a lot, but it doesn't fit you. Us." He slid his hand under the defined shape of a pec. He squeezed, dug his hand into the muscle then kissed it as an apology for the torment. 

Logan breathed out slowly. He covered Alec's hand with one of his, still his explorations. He peered into Alec's eyes.

"What brought this on?" 

Alec dropped his chin. 

Logan briefly tightly his grip on Alec's hand. 

"I like you a lot," Alec repeated. 

"I like you a lot, too," Logan replied, automatically, as if he said it many times before and will many times after. It sent a tingling down Alec's back.

"I just thought…" Alec shrugged. "You're letting me—it's good, real good, but doesn't it seem unfair? You're letting me…I figured I owed you a go or two. Or, er, a d-dozen." He positioned Logan supine again and sat up against the cracked headboard neither got around to replace.

"Alec, you owe me nothing." Logan hauled up to sit shoulder to shoulder with Alec. He leaned heavily against Alec. "Besides. Even if…" He gestured jerkily towards his groin.

Alec felt his cheeks burning. Fuck, he forgot about that and great going, 494, offering to be fucked only reminded Logan of what he can't do.

"You…" Alec took a steadying breath to keep his voice nonchalant. "There are ways to keep you…I mean…" He reached over and cupped Logan's groin.

"Alec, I can barely keep it up long enough to…" Logan, for once, didn't sound angry at himself. He sounded tired, resigned. Alec thought that was worse.

"Only reason I can feel anything when you…" Logan cleared his throat.

Unbidden, both pairs of eyes considered the reddish patches on Logan's lax cock.

"I hate leaving marks like that on you," Alec murmured. "I know you said it doesn't hurt—"

"It doesn't."

"But it _looks_ like it does," Alec finished over Logan. He wove his fingers into the dark nest of Logan's groin. He gently tugged the coarse hairs.

"And you feel so good," Alec confessed. "Inside you, I…it feels so damn good. I wanted you to have the same chance."

Logan ran his thumb over Alec's knuckles.

"I probably wouldn't be able to feel it much, if not at all," Logan said. Alec grimaced. "I might not even be able to stay hard enough to f—to be in you." 

Alec wished he didn't feel so relieved. He bit the inside of his cheek.

"We can make it work," Alec offered falteringly. He stared at Logan's fingers running across the back of his hand, chasing imperfections.

Logan tugged Alec's hand up and kissed the palm.

"What if I don't want to?" Logan's brow went up and down strangely.

Alec frowned. Logan looked at Alec weirdly, like he got a whiff of Alec after too many of Phil's beloved burritos.

"You sure?" Alec gingerly touched Logan's strange up and down eyebrows. "You don't look sure?"

Logan pulled another odd face. His eyes dropped to half-mast. A slit of green stared at Alec.

Alec stared. "What the hell is that face for?"

Logan turned red. His eyebrows stopped trying to seesaw off his cute face. "N-nothing."

Alec wondered why Logan's ears were turning an interesting shade of magenta. He brushed a finger over the shape of the ear. 

Logan twitched.

"Is it your back? Maybe you should take a heat pack before heading out."

"No, my back's fine. Never mind." Logan huffed; he dropped his head onto Alec's shoulder. "Forget it. I'm only trying to say—"

"Oh my God." The still flushed ears registered. Alec bit his lower lip, but it didn't help. He snickered. "You were trying to make my face, weren't you? My—" He leered at Logan, waggled his eyebrows and lowered his eyes to linger on Logan's lap. He chortled, snorted and maybe, probably not, giggled when Logan scowled.

"I wasn't trying to make your face," Logan grumbled. "No one can make that face. Only you can molest with just a look and make someone feel harassed, flattered and turned on all at the same time."

Alec leaned all his weight against Logan, still chuckling. Logan halfheartedly elbowed him.

"It's a skill," Alec teased. He favored Logan one of his patented leers again. He laughed louder when Logan's glower heated up a notch. "Aw, don't be like that. You don't need a look to turn me on. All you got to do is stay naked in this bed." Alec shrugged. "Hell, bat your eyes again and I'll be slobbering after you."

"I didn't bat my eyes," Logan huffed.

Alec caught the tip of Logan's nose between two knuckles and gave it a pinch. Logan lightly shoved Alec's hand away, his scowl dissolving into a sheepish smile. 

A brief wrestling match rose as Alec and Logan pinched, poked and grabbed each other. They were laughing. They were laughing too hard, at least to Alec's ears, drowning out the echoes of their conversation minutes before. And Alec would have been okay to let the memory of their talk fade, but he wanted to give this to Logan, who did nothing but give Alec everything he asked.

The laughter faded, but Alec and Logan were still smiling, eyes fixed to one another. The wrestling gentled to petting. The match ended in an impasse; they ended up in a truce of a snug embrace and idle hands on skin.

Alec liked being this close: burrowed against Logan's side, his ear over Logan's heart, his hands exploring the sleek expanse of Logan's skin. He rubbed a palm over the flat planes of Logan's stomach. He smiled to himself as he felt Logan's breathing under his hand.

"I was serious, you know," Alec said finally. "I'll admit, the idea still…it bothers me, okay, yeah, it does, but if you want it…" Alec kissed the soft skin under Logan's chin.

"You and I both know I'm lying if I say I don't want it." Logan kissed the top of Alec's head. "But I don't need it."

Alec listened to Logan's heart. It beat serene and steady under his ear. He stared down the length of Logan's body.

"Doesn't seem fair," Alec finally said. "You having all the fun." 

Logan rumbled under Alec's ear. Alec wiggled closer and savored the rare sound sinking into his skin.

"When you're ready," Logan murmured, "We can figure something out." He dragged his fingers across Alec's shoulders; his fingers paused to scratch a spot here and there. Alec squirmed against Logan and exhaled.

"Want to stay here all day." Alec breathed softly over a pink nipple. He watched it harden in response. Regretfully, he sat up, away from Logan.

"But I got a Wolcott to find. And you got a Bennett to persuade." Alec laced his and Logan's hands together. He wanted to pull Logan back to him. Something inside screamed to keep Logan within arm's reach. He compromised by pulling Logan's hand to his lap. He massaged the palm and the fingers.

"Make sure to take your gun with you." Alec caught Logan's frown. "Hey, good guy or not, we still got a bunch of Reds prancing about."

Logan made a face. "That makes an image."

"What?"

"Reds. Prancing."

Alec mentally reviewed what he said. He snickered. "I see what you mean." He shook the hand he held. "Take your gun with you."

"I will. Alec—"

"I will watch out for our resident stalker."

Logan huffed. "Will you watch out for yourself as well?"

"Of course." Alec scoffed. He rotated Logan's thumb and kneaded the knuckles so they wouldn't cramp up around a handle or trigger.

"I'm serious."

Alec stopped. He raised his eyes.

Logan locked gazes with Alec. "I'm serious, Alec." 

Alec nodded. He glanced down at Logan's hand again. He rubbed down the index finger. The midway knuckle felt stiff.

"And Alec?" 

"Yeah?"

A shadow flickered across Logan's face. Logan's smile wobbled. He forced it to widen again, but it looked like it hurt to try.

"I like you a lot too," Logan rasped. "In fact, I…" 

A bolt of what looked like fear flashed across Logan's face; so fast, Alec wasn't sure. 

Alec squeezed Logan's hand tight. His insides clenched painfully.

"Babe, are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"

Logan squeezed Alec's hand. His fingers felt cold, though. Alec rubbed his thumb over the cool digits.

"Hey," Alec said softly. "You're getting weird on me, babe. Not cool."

Logan smiled tightly. He watched Alec massaging his hand.

"First time I ever said it, it was to my wife," Logan said suddenly. "It turned out she only wanted my money, drank away what I gave her and left when her lies stopped working to get more."

Alec gripped Logan's fingers tight. 

Logan leaned back into the pillows. He stared dully out to nothing in general. "Second time, it was my fiancé. I gave her a wedding ring. Later, she left it with a note that said nothing at all."

Alec drew Logan's hand closer.

"And the last time..." Logan closed his eyes in memory. Lines carved into his face. 

"I didn't say it, but I thought M—I thought it was clear." Logan laughed strangely. "Asked me to ditch everything, but I said I would only slow us down and..."

"It was okay," Alec remembered. "You were told it was okay." 

Logan's hand slipped away from Alec's grasp. 

"Didn't matter. Left anyway." Logan shrugged. Alec wanted to wrap his arms around Logan.

Logan sighed. "I'm, no, don't look like that, Alec. I'm only trying to explain why...I..." He smiled tightly.

"You're the first person in a long time I want to say it to. But I need time. I want to say it. I do." Logan brushed a knuckle over the shape of Alec's mouth.

"One day," Logan murmured. "It's a lot harder to say it than I expected."

Alec's brow knitted. 

"Okay," Alec said slowly. "Whatever you want to tell me, take your time." He frowned. "Unless you're talking about your passwords. I already know those—what?"

Logan's head hung low to his chest. His shoulders shook. 

"Okay, Heather, I'm missing the joke here."

Logan shook his head as he bit back a chuckle. It sounded suspiciously watery.

"Nothing, I...no joke." Logan smiled at Alec. "Nothing's funny at all."

Alec arched an eyebrow at Logan. 

Logan tugged Alec's hand. Alec obliged, following it further up on the bed. He dropped heavily next to Logan. He wiggled until he lined up with Logan's bare arm. He wished Logan could feel his hip rubbing against his smooth flank. He tentatively tucked his feet under Logan's ankles. When Logan only sighed and dropped an arm across Alec's shoulders, Alec burrowed closer. He tilted his head up and caught Logan's gaze. He waggled his eyebrows.

"Hey," Alec quipped.

Logan snorted. His arm around Alec tightened. He dropped a kiss on Alec's hair.

"Hey, yourself."

Alec moved his feet higher to dig his toes into Logan's calves.

"Maybe you can tell me tonight?" Alec suggested. "Whatever it was you want to tell me? After we both do our _Eyes Only_ gig?"

"Our _Eyes Only_ gigs," Logan drawled. "I've never heard it referred that way before."

"For a writer, you are not that creative."

"Funny, you were telling me the exact opposite once."

Alec hummed at the spine shivery memory. His toes flexed. "Oh yeah, that was pretty imaginative." He cleared his throat.

"Anyway," Alec said loudly. He ignored Logan's chuckles, but he couldn't help grinning in return. "Tonight? Fancy dinner? I'm off the next two days." He tilted up his head and tweaked Logan's nose.

"Ergo, so do you, _Eyes Only_."

Logan's Adam's apple bobbed. "Two days?"

Alec whistled under his breath.

Logan's hands curled over Alec's arms. "We can do a lot of things in two days."

"Or nothing at all," Alec purred. 

Logan's fingers dug into Alec's biceps. "I s-see."

"Well, maybe not because remember when I said I thought of another use for that tie?"

 

"A code name!"

Phil's voice bounced around the parking level. He waited by Logan's car forty minutes earlier than he was supposed to.

"What?" Alec wasn't sure he heard correctly as he kick started his bike. It rumbled to a wheeze. Damn, the muffler was going. Maybe Wolcott had some of his embezzled money lying around over there.

Phil stepped up to Alec's motorcycle. He pushed back his hat. The attached lens wobbled.

"We should give you a code name for this mission." Gears whined as Phil rocked on his heels.

Alec scowled as he climbed on his bike. "Me? Why do _I_ need a code name?"

"I already have one," Phil explained. 

"For the last time, I told you: _not_ calling you _Street Sweeper_. You sound like a vacuum cleaner."

"But how do we call out to each other if the enemy attacks?"

Alec jabbed a finger at Phil.

"Listen to me very carefully. That thing? Our enemy? If you see it coming, you find cover. Do not engage. You're here to get Wolcott squirreled away."

"But—"

Alec darkened. "Was there anything in there that sounded like it was negotiable?"

Phil shook his head, dejected.

Alec exhaled a sigh. "Look, I know you got your government issued hippety-hoppity suit, but it isn't bulletproof. But you can outrun that thing if it does show up. I need that speed to get Wolcott safe." He stepped up to Phil. 

"I need yo—" Alec inwardly sighed. "I need _Street Sweeper_ to do that. All right?"

Phil brightened. He saluted.

The lens on Phil's head flopped to the right.

Alec scoffed. "Great." He arched a brow.

"What would have been my code name?"

"Strong Boy!" Phil burst out. He flailed his hands. Alec needed to take a step back. "Or Action Boy?"

"494," Alec quipped, but he regretted it as soon as he said it.

Phil made a face. "That's not a name."

Alec blinked.

"No, guess not." Alec suddenly grinned. He slapped Phil on the back. 

"Come on. Try and keep up. I want to be done before dinner."

 

"Seriously, if it's another Spanks, I'm breaking his hands before he gets all touchy."

Alec glared up at the tower. It looked like it tried to be an exact copy of Logan's building, except there were additional floors stacked on top of the fifteenth floor. Glass covered some windows, others with a tarp. Someone tried to maximize his or her real estate without permission. 

"I don't think that is to code," Phil said doubtfully. 

"Sure it is," Alec muttered as he guided his bike to a spot away from a majority of cars and stacks of debris. He still hasn't fixed the last scratch on his baby. "If this was the dark ages, that there would have been to code."

Alec snorted in disgust as a flap of tarp detached from the fifth floor and flew away. 

Phil grinned lopsidedly back. 

"What are you all yippee about?" Alec grumbled. He placed his fists on his hips. He studied the building. It didn't look like at the lights worked on every floor. Only on those who could afford it, he supposed. Terrific.

"It's nice."

"Huh?"

"To be on a team."

Alec hesitated. He thought of his old platoon. He wondered where they were now; if they still stayed underwater until the stopwatch said to stop. He squashed the thought before more questions arose. 

"Yeah," Alec muttered as he pivoted back to his bike. He pulled out a rebar he tied to its saddle. He had sharpened one end to be a makeshift harpoon. "Go, team."

"I was more than content to do my share alone," Phil went on. The gears in the exoskeleton whirred as Phil shifted from foot to foot. "But I longed to join forces ever since I discovered _Eyes Only_." 

"Aw come on, it's not the first time we paired up on something." 

"Yes, but this is the climax!" Phil almost shouted as he waved his arms.

Alec glared. "First off: ew. That better not be what it sounded like. Second…" He slapped Phil on one flappy arm. "Quiet!"

Phil caught on. He gestured wildly at Alec, his eyes wide. "Oh no! I wasn't referring to any sort of copulat—"

" _Dude_."

"All I am saying is that these missions are the accumulation of weeks of teamwork. We're defeating the corrupt, what I've tried to do since I saw my destiny. My work was often a lonely one. It's heartening to be able to look back and see someone there this time." Phil's voice dropped. "My little sister used to hold my back pocket all the time. At the time, I found it to be a nuisance."

Alec averted his gaze as Phil knuckled the corner of his eye dry. 

"I never had a little sister," Alec said abruptly. At least, he didn't think so. "But I've been on a team." He made a face. "If they can be called a team."

"Do you miss them?" 

Alec gave it some thought. After a beat, he shrugged.

"Maybe. Kind of. Not really. I'm not sending them any Christmas cards. And they're not sending me any." God, he hoped not. "But I sometimes wonder what they're doing." Like whether if they were homing in on his location or forcing him into a kill box. "But I'm not pining or anything. I could give a shit about them."

"Oh." Phil sounded disappointed. "That does not sound good."

Alec shrugged again. 

"This..." Phil said timidly. "Is this is better?"

Alec paused.

"We're not that bad, are we?"

Alec smiled, almost to himself.

"Nah," Alec murmured. "Not that bad." He glanced over his shoulder.

Phil's smile was blinding.

"Now will you pipe down? Haven't I taught you anything about being covert, Jumpy Boy?"

" _Street Sweeper_!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More next Tuesday. I had hoped this Friday, but I am worried my Thanksgiving turkey and all those dishes will best me.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: graphic violence, gore and cursing, medical science was not by degree, but by way of Google.
> 
> Spoilers: parallels events and dialogue from "I Am and I Am a Camera"

When the drone crashed through, it felt like it was both inevitable and a surprise.

Phil blurted out "We have to abort! Abort, abor—"

Alec slammed into the goof. Bullet holes filled the spot where his dorky helmet was.

"Shit!" Wolcott shrieked. The disbelieving smirk he wore when Alec told him anyone could find his hideout dropped off his narrow face; even his trimmed mustache seemed to have paled.

Alec kept one hand on Phil's neck and one hand on Wolcott's. The former embezzler hid out in a second floor apartment he unscrupulously bought under his grandmother's maiden name and decked out with fancy bought with other people's money. 

Now all that fancy was minced up into junk as the hoverdrone peppered the walls.

This time, Alec has the rebar ready. He waited until Phil hauled the lanky Wolcott over his shoulders. Wolcott blustered, limbs flailing, but Phil had a four inch and thirty pound advantage over the guy, so Wolcott was stuck playing a sack.

"Now!" Alec swung, smashing the drone's glass eye. Phil blazed out of the apartment in a burr of gears with Wolcott cursing over his shoulders.

Glass shattered, the drone wobbled, but this time, it stayed up.

Alec aimed towards the rotors in its underbelly.

A mesh shield snapped shut over the spinning blades. The rebar bounced off it. Alec's elbows vibrated painfully on impact.

The rebar clattered to the floor.

"Damn it." Freaky thing learned new tricks. Yipee. 

Alec spied its casing as the machine spun around, trying to relocate its target. Hopefully by now, Phil would have dropped Wolcott in the trunk of the car Logan's men were to pick up later. 

"Over here," Alec snapped and yup, audio must have also been built in now because the drone reacted to his voice. As it swiveled over, Alec snatched up the rebar. He swung the rebar like an ax, slamming it down on its top with such force; he felt it in his elbows. The blow crushed its frontal casing. 

The rebar bend. The drone's shell dented. Its programming was changed, but its armor remained the same. 

Alec drew the bar high above his head for the final blow—

"Wait!" Phil cried. He bounced into the open doorway waving his arms. "Don't!"

"Down!" 

Phil ducked, hands over his head when the drone whipped towards him.

Alec's rebar sailed across the air in a deadly arc. It struck the drone and set it spinning back to the window.

With a squawk, the hoverdrone flew out ass over head. 

Alec shot a look towards the doorway. His stomach clenched at the empty threshold.

"Phil?"

"Street Sweeper," someone said meekly.

" _Phil_ ," Alec growled. "Not the time."

Phil edged out of the doorway. His hat was lopsided; it partially covered one brown eye.

"You okay?" Alec pressed his back against the wall and peered out the window. The hoverdrone floated around the parking lot below, but it didn't seem to realize Wolcott was bundled into the olive green sedan at the corner. Phil better has gagged Wolcott as they had planned.

"It almost hit my mid-anterior servo—"

"What the hell were you thinking?" Alec hissed as he tracked the drone. It made another circuit around the area. He hoped whoever was pulling its strings didn't add heat sensors too. And the thing was apparently still dumb enough it didn't fly back up to continue its fight with Alec.

"I wanted to tell you to wait—"

Alec shot Phil a blistering look. "What? So you could do the deed? Are you serious?"

"No. I mean, that's not why," Phil fumbled.

Alec looked out the window again. The hoverdrone was standstill now, target lost, orders unfilled. It bobbed, looking indecisive. 

Here. Alec could throw the rebar from here with enough force it could pierce the damaged armor. The dent was the weakest point now, open to a kill shot.

Alec straightened out the rebar with a grunt. He drew back his arm as he aimed it. "I'll try to get it from here. If it doesn't work, get out of here in case it comes back up. We'll rendezvous as we agreed. Just in case, tell Log—"

"Or," Phil cut in. He smiled tentatively. "We could follow it."

The rebar lowered a fraction. "What?"

"It's why I didn't want you to destroy it. Those things have to go somewhere to refuel, right?" Phil's hands twisted around each other. The lens on his hat drooped lower and lower.

"Right," Alec slowly said as he kept his eyes on the drone. He didn't know what's its auditory range was.

"We could follow it, find the mastermind and kill it at the source." Phil cleared his throat. "But if it gets too damaged, it might not be able to…"

Alec's arm dropped. The rebar hung in his fist. He squinted at Phil.

"And when did you decide to tell me about this idea of yours?" 

Phil grimaced. "Uh, just now?" He smiled sheepishly. "What do you think?"

Alec was tempted to use the rebar on Phil.

"Good plan." Alec nodded curtly. He rolled his eyes when Phil beamed. 

"Next time, tell me _before_ you try to get holes in you."

Phil threw open his hands. His long coat flapped out like a flag. "I'm unharmed; it missed my mid-anterior servo."

"Do that again and next time, it could be your mid-anterior actual _leg_ ," Alec growled. He gestured to Phil. 

"Come on, it's on the move."

 

The hoverdrone weaved as it turned on Third. It was barely noticeable in the narrow canyon of run down townhouses. The streets were declining in condition with each step; homes were giving way to boarded up storefronts and deserted alleyways. The shadows and lack of working streetlights gave the machine the perfect camouflage. Alec needed to rely on his night vision to keep it in his sights. He has one fist on Phil's lapels so the guy wouldn't go off in the wrong direction. Or trip. Or step on another cat. Poor kitty. Alec didn't blame the mangy thing for scratching up Phil's chin.

The drone paused every so often as if it was mapping out its whereabouts or checking if it was being followed. The latter was true, but Alec was confident it didn't predict it would be from nine meters away.

"Huh." Phil halted in the middle of the street they just turned into.

"What?" Alec tracked the hoverdrone's movements on a window's reflection. The damn thing has been drunkenly bobbing over rooftops and weaving around buildings more. Hopefully, it wasn't too cracked that it couldn't find its home base. 

"Hey!" Alec hissed. He gestured to Phil, but the other didn't move. "What do you mean 'Huh?'"

Alec was about to drag the idiot by the ears back over to the corner when Phil spoke up again in a thoughtful voice.

"That's not where it went last time."

Alec whipped his eyes over to Phil. " _Last time_?"

Phil peered through the lens he pulled off his head. He adjusted his lens. He squinted until he could spot the hoverdrone himself. He pursed his lips, oblivious to Alec's glower.

"It flew northward to Seventh unless this is a different drone. Maybe a two point zero? An evil twin! Wait, if the first one was already evil, does this make it evil _er_ —"

" _Phil_." Alec finally dragged Phil behind a building. "Focus! _Last time_? You followed one?" Alec's eyes narrowed when Phil squirmed. 

"You followed _us_?" Alec fisted Phil's coat and tugged him close until they were nose to nose. He had to tippy toe. Damn guy has a few inches over him. Alec must have been intimidating enough though because Phil gulped.

Alec growled under his breath. Phil yipped. "You were supposed to check on the cage fighters."

"I did," Phil stammered. "It was nothing! The rumors about enhanced fighters were unfounded. Only one girl with long hair had a winning streak, but she didn't even stick around to collect her winnings! Police raided the club on a tip soon after so I couldn't investigate further!" He flapped his hands at Alec until he was released. Phil staggered back until he stopped titter tottering. 

"Besides, I uh…" Phil stared at his dirt smudged fingers.

Alec folded his arms and waited. "Go on," he bit out. "Tell me why the hell you decided to break from your mission?" He inwardly grimaced at how much he sounded like Lyd—

With a barely suppressed flinch, Alec immediately lowered his arms. But he kept his glare on Phil.

"I thought…since the detective needed to maintain his cover and couldn't…" Phil shrugged helplessly. "I wanted to see how you guys were doing, um…"

Alec wiped a hand down his face, lingering on his chin. He ground his teeth. 

"That was the most stupid—"

"I was worried!" Phil blurted. "By the time I arrived at your location, it was escaping and I thought it might be prudent to see where it goes."

"You were worried," Alec repeated slowly. He glanced over and swore. The damn thing was faster than it appeared. _Great_. He studied Phil, who gazed back with his funny hat now being mangled in his hands. Everything about Phil looked chastened. Even his curly brown hair was flat against his skull, looking deflated. 

"I kept a safe distance," Phil offered meekly. His hat creaked in his worrying hands.

Alec took a deep breath. After a long pause, he lightly shoved Phil by the shoulder.

"You're an idiot," Alec grumbled, but couldn't stop himself from smirking when Phil grinned. Alec's chest filled with something unidentifiable, yet warm. He shook his head. "You and Cindy…" At Phil's eyebrow, Alec waved him off.

"Nothing. Look, damn thing flew faster than I thought. Where did you follow it to last time?"

"Third and Seventh—wait. Maybe it was Seventh and Third?" Phil tapped two fingers to his temples. "Not to worry, I kept the information locked in here. No chance of spies intercepting our intel!"

Alec rolled his eyes. "Okay. So Third and Seventh."

"Maybe Seventh and Third."

"Maybe—why the hell didn't you tell us this before?"

"…I forgot?"

Alec wanted to shake Phil by the shoulders. Instead, he scrubbed his face with his hands.

"Come on. Let's get my bike. Next stop: Third and Seventh."

"Or Seventh and Third."

 

The corrugated metal felt rough against Alec's cheek. He leaned in with his ear to the surface. He could hear faint sounds of swishing.

Swishing?

"Are you sure?" Alec asked Phil. He flapped a hand, warding Phil back when the guy leaned a little too much weight against Alec. "That's it, no more burritos for you." 

"I'm positive," Phil whispered back. "I followed it to here."

Alec eyed the depilated warehouse. There wasn't even a sign hanging above. There were streaks of rust, outlining where a sign used to be. It was a far cry from the shiny and sterile labs in _Cale Industries_ ' R and D. 

"It doesn't look like much of an evil lair," Phil said doubtfully. He brightened. "Unless it's an entryway to the depths of the earth where it lurks in wait for its next flight of evil!"

Alec arched an eyebrow. "I doubt there's a bat cave in there."

"Oh no! The bat cave was the headquarters for the champion of the good and just—"

"Phil."

Phil nodded and mimed zipping his mouth shut.

"All right," Alec muttered after indulging on an eye roll. "I think it makes sense it went here. With the increased weight, their flight range probably got cut to compensate, refueling off-site closer would make up its difference."

"Do you think it's a black site?" Phil practically crushed Alec's shoulder to the wall in his excitement. "This could be an Area Fif—"

Alec shot Phil a glare, quelling his conspiracy fueled squee. Geez.

"There's only one entry and exit." Alec nodded jerkily to the windowless door framed by two security cameras. "They'll see us coming. I'm going to check the roof for a suitable spot for a breach."

"What do you want me to do?" Phil whispered anxiously. "I could kick the door down with my exoskeleton."

Alec shook his head. "Too risky. There could be a dozen bad guys waiting for—"

Inside, a hoarse cry escaped the walls.

"Ah hell." Alec jumped in front of the door, kicked the door down and—

Alec froze.

"Good lord," Phil squeaked behind Alec.

Two women dressed (if you could call it that) in strategically positioned leather straps and hip high boots turned towards Alec as one. Their cattail whips hung suspended in the air. 

Between them, a man with way more body hair deemed sexy hung spread-eagled on a wall. He lifted up his shavened head. It gleamed with sweat. The man blinked drug glazed eyes at Alec and Phil.

"Who the hell are you?" the naked guy rasped. "Wait your turn. I still got twelve minutes."

"Maybe it was Seventh and Third after all," Phil babbled. He hastily kowtowed to the tableau and blazed out of the apparent love shack. 

Alec's eyes lingered on the leather bra the buxom beauty to his left wore. Original Cindy could make that look good. And the leather vest the John wore would look hot on Logan.

The woman on the right wet her cherry red lips.

The woman on the left winked and flicked out her cattails against her creamy brown thigh.

Alec opened his mouth, but before he could ask where they got their goods, Phil grabbed Alec's arm and dragged Alec away.

"Sorry!" Phil shouted as Alec wiggled his fingers goodbye at the ladies. They tittered and waved back. "Wrong address! Er—Carry on!"

"Nice collar!" Alec offered in parting as they left.

 

"This one. I'm absolutely sure."

"Dude, that's what you said about the _last_ one!"

"No, I said I was positive."

Alec growled at Phil as they stooped to walk below the paper covered window. Surprise, surprise, it was another warehouse.

A hand to the wall confirmed the vibrations Alec had felt against him were indeed power cables lining the walls inside. Lots of power cables, churning out far more juice than a post-Pulse power grid allowed for this zone. 

"Front door again?" Phil whispered. He eyed the roof. "I think I can reach the roof."

A quick check on them and Alec frowned.

"We'll fall right through the moment either one of us step on it." Alec cupped his ear over the wall. He closed his eyes and listened.

"What do you hear?" Phil said into Alec's other ear.

"You," Alec bit out. His hand flapped Phil back. "Two. One by the door. Another further back. If we take down the door hard enough, it should take out the first target and I'll be able to get the second before he fires off a shot." 

Phil gaped at Alec. He glanced at the wall. He looked back at Alec.

Alec's gut squirmed. "What?"

Phil's mouth snapped shut. His face cracked into a broad grin.

"That is so cool."

Alec snorted, but he was smirking. "Come on. On the count of three—and I swear, this better be the right place—one. Two…" 

On three, Alec and Phil raised their boots. Together, their feet slammed into the door. 

The metal buckled. 

The hinges snapped.

"Who the hell ar—"

As Alec predicted, the force sent the door into target one, smacking the short and stout man in a lab coat square in the face. He fell under the door, his clipboard spinning away and stayed there, starfished under the weight of the door and Phil.

Monitors, keyboards, small antennae dishes. 

Alec quickly inventoried what filled the back wall. He had run towards a man before it registered he was target two. The close shaven man with the shoulder holster wore headphones. He didn't look at the newcomers; he hunched over a keyboard, typing rapidly. 

Right now, Sung would be pulling Wolcott out of his hiding place. Right now, it'll just be Sung, with only a lousy Glock and his wife waiting at home.

Alec vaulted over a stack of CPU towers. He shoved Target two to the workstation before the other managed to fire off a shot.

"Fun time's over," Alec snarled.

"It's not here!" Phil's voice rose in alarm. "I think it was sent back out!"

Alec grabbed the technician by the neck. He pushed the head harder to the metal workstation.

"Call it back!" Alec snapped. "Now!"

"I can’t. A new target’s been acquired!"

Alec's head snapped up towards the monitors. A screen to his three o'clock, labeled HD2, showed the blue tinged scenery of an area that was not sector two. A moored ship zipped by on the display.

A ship.

"That face." Phil remained standing on the broken door, but his eyes were on the monitor to Alec's far left. Phil pointed to it, his finger trembling.

Alec checked over his shoulder and froze.

_Logan._

Alec's fingers squeezed the nape. The technician's pulse pounded frantically against his palm. "Is that the new target? Answer me!"

A gasp replied, but it was enough.

"Call it back." Alec tightened his hold. He pressed a knee to the guy's back. Ribs creaked. The technician choked. It sounded like a sob. Alec couldn't bring himself to care. " _Now_."

Brown hands flailed towards the wall of monitors. "Look, this isn’t a test; it’s a search-and-destroy. Anyone tries to stop them will be a target, too."

Alec's lips curled back. He drew up the technician and slammed his face to the workstation. With a wet _crunch_ , the technician's face bounced off the desk and the man crumpled to the floor.

"Do you think you can stop it?" Phil asked as he hurried to the workstation.

Alec began typing even before his target fell to the floor. Lines of code scrolled up, froze and flashed.

"Can't," Alec hissed. "Not enough time. Come on. He said he was going to be in 354 Jorgen Avenue at one. That's in fifteen minutes."

"That screen says its ETA is sixteen." Phil suddenly sucked in his breath. "They have your face too."

Alec's mouth twisted. He had already spotted his grainy picture in the adjacent monitor, taken from Spanks's rescue. He roughly shook his head.

"They have your fac—"

"It doesn't matter!" Alec was leaving with or without Phil. "Come on, I think I can get us there in twelve."

Alec ran for the door, his bike and Logan. He didn't check to see if Phil followed.

 

Alec made it there in ten.

When his motorcycle slowed, Alec frantically searched the area. 

The shipyards on Jorgen were shells of their former selves. Buildings made of sheet metal and wood stood close together; the walls of a decaying labyrinth. The docked ships bobbed; some half submerged because they were left abandoned by disillusioned investors and bankrupt creditors. It was a rusty graveyard filled with victims of the Pulse: buildings and ships crumbling because no one gave a shit anymore.

"Do you see him?" Sweeper panted from his perch behind Alec. Alec could hear the gears in his suit whirring and grinding.

"No," Alec tightly said as he scanned the area. His insides roiled. They had cinched tighter and tighter the closer they got to Jorgen. His bike shimmied as it fought to speed up. Alec was going to get off his bike and run on foot when Phil cried out they reached the address.

The spot Logan had agreed to meet his cousin on was the only building in the area with all its windows intact. The faded sign said the area once belonged to _Cale Logistics_ where the conglomerate used to ship its goods, back when 'Made in the US of A' held some value. It reminded Alec of his old bunker: gray, long and squat with a curved ribbed metal roof. It looked like a half buried pill.

"I don't think he's here yet." Phil pulled down his lens and adjusted it for zoom. He panned the grounds. He made a distressed sound. "No one else is here."

"Wouldn't be," Alec muttered as he scanned the distance beyond what Phil's lens could. "This place is a dump."

An old bulldozer was parked by the structure. Someone had spray painted _Police Nation_ on its curved blade. Supply sheds of various sizes surrounded the clearing in front of it in a half moon. By the moors, there were pallets stacked as tall as Alec; they were caked with layers of dust and bird crap. There was the stern of a ship visible above the water; the rest of it was drowning and rusting in the murky depths. 

The rest of the warehouses were huddled together, casting shadows that stretched across the ruined roads. 

"Of course he would choose the crappiest place to meet his cousin," Alec muttered. He whipped his eyes left and right. There were too many places to hide in wait, yet not enough places sturdy enough to protect someone from a beast that spit dozens of rounds per minute.

Alec vibrated in his seat. He wanted to swing his leg off his ride and run. Where? He suspected wherever his heart hammered; maybe he could rely on the painful thumping against his ribs. His heart pounded out each question like another stab to the heart. What if Alec misheard the address? What if he remembered the time wrong? What if the drone caught up with Logan before Jorgen? What if there's a car wreck far beyond what Alec's enhanced eyesight could see? What if Logan was out there, dy—

"Damn it, Heather, where's that punctual cute ass of yours?" Alec whispered under his breath.

"Maybe he was caught in traffic?" Phil said hopefully.

Before Alec could order Phil to go search while he took off running to find Logan on foot, he spotted the familiar sedan approaching them. He zeroed in and sure enough, Logan was frowning through the windshield at the pair. Alec could see the admonishments spinning in Heather's head.

"There he is!" Phil pointed.

Alec was too busy trying to swallow down the lump lodged in his throat. He felt dizzy, his head spinning when he realized the car was coming towards them.

"Babe," Alec breathed. He squashed down the urge to wave or jump up and down or race up to it and meet it halfway.

Alec's smile faded when he caught something far away out of the corner of his eye. 

A black dot doggedly flew after Logan's car. A dot that was getting increasingly bigger.

"It's here!" Phil cried out needlessly. 

Alec didn't reply. He started his bike and veered straight for Logan.

Even as Alec drew closer, the black dot was morphing into a recognizable shape. Even with his ride roaring in his ears, Alec could hear the metallic hum of a hoverdrove, the whir of gears as its gun ports open.

It fired into the back of Logan's car. The rear window shattered even as Alec reached close enough to be within shouting distance. It wasn't close enough for him to do anything else.

It was close enough for the hoverdrone though.

Alec's yelling was enough to alert the machine. He felt the subtle warmth of lasers as a red grid formed on his face, blinked and went away. 

New target acquired.

It floated around the car without hesitation and buzzed rapidly towards Alec. It ignored Logan's car honking frantically at it. It fired.

Dodging bullets on his feet was easy enough; Alec could zigzag before the muzzle flash fully formed.

Dodging bullets with two tons of metal and Phil behind him, however...

The parallel lines of bullets splat up dirt on both sides of Alec. Alec jerked his bike and zipped a hard right, his wheels screeching as he veered away from Logan.

Behind him, Alec heard Phil shouting and realized running away from the drone also meant turning their backs (Phil's) to it. 

Alec slammed on the brakes, shifted gears and spun completely around, keeping Phil behind him.

"Get off!" Alec hollered. "Find cover!"

"What?"

A line of bullets exploded on either side of the bike.

Alec's shoulder rammed back into Phil.

Phil fell off the bike in a tangle of limbs and coat.

Before Phil landed on the ground, Alec had revved up his gears. The bike roared with power. He aimed right for the hoverdrone, in-between the space between the gun barrels.

The machine adapted.

It oscillated sharply left to right to left again, spraying bullets in a serpentine pattern instead of a straight parallel row.

One bullet pinged off Alec's carburetor. Another bounced off his front rim and zipped past his left boot. It didn't puncture, but it was enough to unbalance. He started at the bolt that sliced through his boot and slashed a hot line across his ankle. His bike thrashed to compensate, its bulk leaning too far right before Alec could correct it.

Alec slammed into the ground. He slid across the dirt several feet. He twisted, but his momentum barely slowed. He felt the back of his jacket shred. He felt pebbles fly past his face, scratching thin lines on his face and neck like glass shards.

The bike landed on Alec's leg with a sickening _crunch_ that almost drowned out Phil's shouting and the screech of Logan's tires.

The hoverdrone bobbed indecisively between the two; its first target behind it, the second target before it.

Alec sat up. Tried. The motorcycle rumbled. Its front wheel was still spinning. Its engine still thrummed against his body. Alec's left leg burned with agony. It wasn't broken, but it also wasn't helping Alec as he tried to push the unwieldy bike off his body.

Logan's car was close enough Alec could see Logan's stark face through the bullet cracked windshield.

The drone slowly turned towards the approaching car. 

"You're going to have to get past me first," Alec snarled at it.

The hoverdrone serenely hummed as it rotated back around, lowered and flew right for Alec. The gun ports yawned and the twin muzzles slid out again.

Alec clawed his bike and tried to pull it up higher to shield his torso.

Logan's car fishtailed briefly as the car rammed into the hoverdrone's rear.

The machine squawked; it sounded humanly startled. The blow sent it cart wheeling a few feet away past Alec. It pivoted towards Logan's car in time to have the car trunk slam into its glass eye. 

The hoverdrone retaliated by firing at Logan's car. Holes popped like starburst down the length of the car.

Logan's car swerved sharply. The back of the car slammed into the drone again. 

It rocked. It steadied.

It fired. 

A rear tire blew and the car flipped.

The drone kept firing.

" ** _Logan_**!"

With a roar, Alec hauled the bike off his leg. He staggered. His right knee _popped_. His shoulders _burned_. His left palm ripped open when Alec thrust his hands into the wrecked remains. He felt the blood from his hand splatter over his bike and his face as he lifted up the metal carcass.

The drone bleated when two tons of twisted metal collided on top of it. Still firing, the gun muzzles bent, jammed and backfired. Smoke pillared out from within. It staggered in midair.

Alec heaved and slammed the crumpled bike over it once more like a hammer.

The drone squealed, barely audible over Alec's screams. It sank down to knee height. Half of its housing cracked and crumpled under the weight.

Alec pounded it with his bike again. And again.

A small explosion blew molten hot shrapnel to Alec's face. Silicon chips, armor plating and glass shattered by Alec's feet. 

Alec smashed over and over until he couldn't hold on to the bike anymore. He dropped the junked cycle on top of the remains of the drone. He smelled blood on his hand. He was pretty sure he caught a glimpse of bone. His thumb hung wrong. His right knee balanced strangely.

With a grunt, Alec wrenched away from the spot and wove drunkenly to the car.

Phil was already by the car. It lay on its side, passenger door up. Phil was on his hands and knees by the windshield. He was pulling at the warped windshield.

"I can see him moving!" Phil shouted as Alec drew near. "He's alive! But I can't get the windshield off! The frame's all twisted—"

Alec grabbed one corner with his good hand and wrenched it off.

The windshield sailed through the air before crashing a few feet behind them.

The red haze that obscured Alec's vision fled when he spotted Logan.

Logan was still tethered to his seat belt. He lay almost curled over a misshapen steering wheel. Blood streaked down his face. His eyeglasses were gone. Where were his glasses, he needed—

Alec gave his thoughts a violent shake off. He dropped to his knees. His right knee burned with agony, sending spasms up his thigh and hip. His neck ached where his shoulders knotted and seized. Alec ignored it all as he swept his hands over Logan's neck and shoulders. 

The cream pullover was crimson. It clung to Logan's torso. It had soaked too much blood to provide clues as to where Logan was hit. Logan's jeans were mottled with blood as well. There was too much, too much to dare to touch him.

The screaming that ripped through Alec before has fled. He felt like there was no air left to do anything. He gasped, breathing in metal and smoke and— _oh God_ —blood. _No, no, no, no, no…_

"Found his phone!" Phil grabbed Logan's cell phone on the dashboard. "It's still working!" His hands shook, but his voice was remarkably steady as he spoke to the 911 operator.

Alec kept his eyes on Logan. He cradled the back of Logan's neck to support his head and pressed trembling fingers to the rapid heartbeat. It was too fast. It wasn't what Logan's heart should sound like.

A slit of green cracked open. They wandered, staring at nothing. 

Logan's breathing hitched.

"Here. Here. I'm okay." Alec cupped Logan's face, carefully steering it so it could rest comfortably against Alec's shoulder.

Green rolled up towards Alec's ear. Logan's brow knitted as he tried to focus. Logan mouthed Alec's name.

"Yeah, babe," Alec choked out. "Here. I'm all right." He brushed a knuckle down Logan's cheek. It felt cold. He slipped an arm around Logan's shoulders to bear his weight so the seatbelt wouldn't choke him. Blood from Alec's hand bled hot down Logan's arm.

Phil crouched by Alec's ear. "They said to get him to the next sector and—"

_Ambulances wouldn't even come here._

Logan's voice echoed in Alec's memory. His face contorted. 

"Call Sung. See if he can send an ambulance to here. Tell him we got it." Alec stopped.

_It._

"Damn it." Alec crawled deeper into the car. Glass crunched and pierced his jeans. He wrapped his other hand around the steering wheel. His shoulders pulled hot as he braced against the column. It wouldn't budge; Logan's knees were pinned underneath. "Help me with him."

"Maybe we shouldn't move him—"

"Them!" Alec shouted. The steering wheel ripped off finally, freeing Logan's legs. The seat belt buckle clacked when Alec tugged the strap off its housing. Logan folded boneless into the slouch of Alec's body.

Logan panted. His arms flopped weakly, trying to help. But the movement proved too much. 

Alec tamped down on the surge of panic when Logan abruptly went limp against him. He choked back the reed thin whine he could feel clawing up his throat.

"Wait!" Phil protested even as he leaned in to help. "We really shouldn't move—"

"The guy in the warehouse said if anyone tried to stop _them_. There's another one out there!"

Phil's eyes widened. "There were two targets on two screens…" Suddenly he was thrusting his arms into the car. "Give him to me."

Alec tugged Logan closer to him. "What?"

"I can't fight those things. You can!" Phil's eyes were huge. The lens on his hat was missing. One of the ear flaps tore off when he wiggled into the car. His stretched out arms were shaking. His voice, though, remained steady.

"I can get him to cover. This thing is likely on its way."

Alec looked down at Logan. He clutched Logan to him. Logan's head lolled against Alec's shoulder.

"I'll keep him safe," Phil promised. 

Far away, Alec heard the all too familiar buzzing. He swallowed.

Carefully, Alec gathered up Logan. Phil gingerly hoisted Logan on his shoulder, one hand on Logan's legs.

"Don't let him die," Alec croaked as he watched Phil stumble towards the largest nearby shed.

Phil stared solemnly back. "Don't die too." He didn't salute. Gears hum and creaked as Phil sprinted for the shed with Logan on his shoulders.

The metallic whine grew louder and louder. Alec tore his eyes away from the shed. He averted his eyes from the droplets of blood that had followed Phil. He scanned inside the car. Logan's gun and spare ammo clip peeked out from the partially opened glove compartment. 

Logan never had a chance to use the weapon. He couldn't. Not while he was driving. There had been no chance. No chance in hell.

Outside of the car, the new drone arrived. It slowed to a hover, no doubt circling the spot of its robotic comrade's demise. It floated, humming, rotors spinning, searching for its targets.

Alec set his jaw. He curled his hand around Logan's gun and magazine. He shoved them into his pocket. His damaged palm still bled. He smelled rivulets dripping off his fingers, dripping down to mix with the coppery splatters of Logan's blood in the car. Alec averted his eyes. He didn't need to see how much there was. He could _smell_ it. 

"Over here, you piece of junk," Alec bit out as he rose unsteadily to his feet. He stepped away from the car.

"Over here!" Alec shouted.

With a _beep_ and a whine, the drone rotated. Its glass eye pulsed red.

The flickering red grid formed on Alec's face again. Alec stood still; he made sure its damn facial recognition software got a real good look at Alec's face.

The grid disappeared.

The drone's humming grew louder.

Two ports rolled open.

Alec ducked back behind the car when it fired. Bullets punctured the car to the left and right of him. He felt one shot burn as it grazed past his hip. Upholstery flew like snow as bullets ripped the interior apart.

Logan sat here. 

Logan _bled_ here.

Alec leapt to his feet. As the drone drew closer, Alec bodily slammed into the car. It went skidding for the drone.

The drone fired rapidly at it. Alec dove for the ground. 

The car burst into flames as it collided into the drone. The two slammed into the half sunken ship.

The ship groaned and disappeared into the water with the rest of its body.

Alec gulped for air as he stared, waiting. Logan's gun dug into his side from inside his pocket.

With a metallic groan, the drone punched through the car, still firing, its glass eye burning blood red.

Alec's lips curled back. He bolted despite his knee screaming for him to stop. Bullets snapped at his heels. 

The shed stayed shut and quiet. Alec breathed a sigh of relief when the drone floated by it without a pause. He ran the opposite way, tossing obscenities at it over his shoulder.

The drone flew after him.

Alec ignored the throbbing in his knee. His shoulders ached from the force of pushing the car. He heard the drone sputtering behind him. He damaged it, but not enough. The bastards have upgraded the drones. The distance was no longer sufficient to hide from them.

It was like the first month Alec was Out. The metallic hum behind him was every hoverdrone he ever hid from. His legs ached with the strain of running and the agony of muscles unable to heal fast enough, but he didn't dare hide underground. He ran past the manholes he could have dove into. Hiding meant the drone would go looking for its other target. Hiding meant it would go looking for Logan.

Bullets chased Alec's heels as he ducked into buildings. Logan's gun sat heavy in Alec's pocket. There was no place to stop. He needed higher ground.

Alec crawled under a pile of destroyed shipping crates. He rolled as bullets cut through steel and pockmarked the ground next to him. He hobbled—his knee needed him to stop so he could heal, but he can't stop, no—into the maze of close standing warehouses. 

Nails caught on his clothing, clawed his skin, but he managed to wiggle through the narrow gaps between the structures. The drone hovered over the openings, unable to follow. Alec always made sure it saw him, though and kept its focus on him. 

_Escape and evade_. It was something 494 excelled at in Manticore. He clamored up ladders and pelted across catwalks. When he felt they were a good distance away, he slipped away from the drone's visual field. He leapt on top of a roof and tracked the drone below him. He kept his footsteps light. He stayed crouched. His knee. His shoulders. His hand. Agony faded as he watched the hoverdrone.

The machine chirped, beeped and hummed as it floated. He could see it turn, scanning, debating, calculating.

The drone's programming was limited to target motivation: kill target, kill what blocked its way to target. But other than that, it was as dumb as shit.

_Closer_ , he thought. _Get closer, you son of a bitch_. His palm vaguely stung when he curled his hand into a fist. He could see it, five meters to his two o'clock, below the roof line.

_Closer_ , he thought. _Five more inches. Four. Three. Two…_

_One_.

The drone bumped into the roof, perfectly level. He leapt, knees high, shoulders tight, eyes riveted to his target.

He landed boots first right on top of it.

The hoverdrone rocked.

"Can't shoot up, can you?" Alec snarled. He shifted his weight as the drone bucked. There was barely enough room to stand on it.

"Can't shake me off that easy." 

Alec crouched down and grabbed both gun muzzles before they could retract. 

The hoverdrone's alarms rang out. The gun barrels twitched, unable to safely retreat into its ports. The rotors spun, whirring higher in pitch as it fought the sudden weight. 

Then the drone swiveled around and slammed Alec to a wall.

"Shit!"

Alec held on, hunched over, fists around scorching hot gun barrels. Pain flared as metal seared. The drone thrashed, rocking left and right, bumping into walls.

He held on.

The drone smashed through a window. Alec grunted. It ran through another window.

He held on.

With a grunt, Alec yanked, forcing the drone to tip up. His boots slipped off. His legs dangled as the drone reeled.

The drone flipped, rotors skyward and crashed Alec to the ground. Before it could shake him off, though, he sends the drone crashing into the ground next to him.

The housing crunched when Alec's boot slammed down on it, so hard, the vibrations rocked up his leg and lower back. But he kept his boot on it. He pulled out Logan's gun. He fired.

Bullet resistant armor can withstand a bullet.

It can't withstand ten puncturing the same spot.

Sparks flared and scalded his face. He flinched but kept firing, dead center, his boot heel grounded an inch deep into the bastard.

The hoverdrone squealed. It shook violently. Its gun ports popped out and fired uselessly into the ground. 

He avoided the bullets ricocheting towards him. He aimed Logan's gun; he kept his arms steady. He said nothing. He fired. He executed.

The drone shuddered once and stilled. 

He slapped in a new clip and kept firing.

_Click click click_.

The empty chamber roused Alec. He stared at the smoldering remains. Spots of blood surrounded it like a red halo; some of its bullets had ricocheted and scratched their marks on Alec.

Alec shoved the empty gun into his pockets. He could see his blood on the ground. He could see the trembling in his limbs. He could taste the sourness in his mouth.

He felt numb.

"Logan," Alec rasped.

Without another look at the destroyed drone, Alec ran.

 

Alec kicked the shed door open. And ducked. 

"It's done," Alec said shortly. He ignored the fact Phil threw the wrench towards his head the minute he kicked the shed door open. His eyes were on the slumped form hidden under Phil's ragged long coat.

Streaks cut through the floor's thick dust where Phil must have shoved crates around to build a wall between them and the door. It only stood to Alec's hip. The lightbulb above them was shattered. The light from the door spilled into the cramped space in a beam filled with dust motes. 

"Ambulance is twenty minutes away," Phil said. He didn't move away, hunched over the covered form slumped against their makeshift barricade. He has one hand buried under the coat. He looked white; his hat was missing. "He told me to call a Doctor Carr—"

"He told yo—he's conscious?" Alec didn't wait for an answer. He stumbled around the shield and dropped to his knees. His hands parted the coat.

Glazed green eyes blinked back at him.

"Hey," Alec said shakily. He threw off the coat. He swallowed.

"I can't stop the bleeding," Phil said miserably. His hand was white pressed over whatever rag he crushed over Logan's left thigh; it looked like parts of Phil's shirt was missing. Logan's jeans were torn down from the upper thigh, exposing the lines of blood still dribbling down the limb. Dark crimson seeped out between Phil's fingers.

Alec took over, his hands shaking as he applied pressure with both hands. The blood ran dark. Not an artery. That's good. Right? He couldn't remember why that was good.

One on the left shoulder. A deep furrow on the right bicep. A dark stain spread over the lower left torso region. It was a through and through.

And the leg. Still bleeding. It bled the worst of all. The smell was overwhelming.

Alec pressed down harder. He bore his weight down.

Blood spurted.

Twenty minutes. Twenty minutes was too long.

Phil apparently thought the same thing. "I could carry him and—"

Alec shook his head jerkily. "We need to keep the pressure on this." He studied Logan's ashen face. Hooded eyes stared past Alec's ear. He leaned into his hands.

Logan twitched. A hiss whistled through his bloody teeth. Logan had bit his tongue.

"We need to stop the bleeding." Bile rose up Alec's throat. "I'm sorry. I know it hurts—God, I'm sorry, but we gotta—"

"'oesn't 'urt." Logan smiled weakly.

"Tough guy, huh?" Alec avoided looking at his hands. He could feel warm liquid still soaking through the rag hot and sticky. 

"A'ec…"

"Shut up."

Logan hooked a red tipped finger around Alec's thumb on his leg.

Alec gulped. "Okay. Whatever. Talk. Only…Just don't talk okay? Nothing gloomy, nothing—Just, you know what? Shut up."

"In the…'ridge. Midd'e 'elf. Thir' jar…pea-ut butter…"

Alec choked out what sounded too high pitched to be a laugh. "Are you kidding me? _Peanut butter_? You're in the mood for peanut butter now? Jesus, Heather, what the hell?"

Phil leaned in. He took over with a new rag. He looked like he was going to throw up.

"Seventeen minutes," Phil stuttered. "Do you hear sirens? I think I can hear sirens."

Alec drew Logan's head to his shoulder. 

Logan's breathing stuttered against Alec's throat.

"Hold on," Alec whispered. He wanted to pull Logan tight to his body; he wanted to—there was so much he wanted, needed, no, no, _no_. 

Alec slapped a hand down over Phil's on the leg. His other hand throbbed. It took some effort to uncurl his injured hand. He reached up to Logan's cheek. "Babe, just…" He stopped and stared at his hand.

The palm still bore the deep slash of the cut, but the blood on it was dry now.

Skin peeled back from already healing blisters. Alec recalled wrapping his hands on red hot gun muzzles. He remembered the white flare at the point of contact.

"We need to stop the bleeding. If I cauterize…" Alec showed them his hand. "It's…not a pretty idea." He hunched over Logan. He couldn't meet Logan in the eye. "But it'll keep your inside _inside_ until help arrives."

Phil's throat worked. "His car is still burning outside. There might be something hot enough we can use. But…" He glanced over to Logan.

Logan coughed instead of laughing. 

"I won't feel it." Logan weakly smiled as if only he knew the punch line of whatever the fricking joke was. 

Alec swallowed. Bile bubbled in the base of his throat. 

"You will. In some level." Alec brushed back damp bangs from Logan's forehead. 

Logan huffed. Alec wished he knew what's so damn funny.

"'oubt it," Logan rasped. His eyes drifted almost lazily to his bleeding leg. He was the only one willing to look.

"The shock could…" Alec felt Logan's heart pounding against him. It beat frantically for both of them. Or at least, it felt like it did. 

"Might be better if I put you out." A lump grew in Alec's throat. "I could…I could put you in a c-chokehold."

Phil sputtered. Alec kept his gaze on Logan.

Logan stared back. He nodded.

"I'll be careful. I know when to stop before it gets too far. If there was any other way—"

Logan shakily squeezed Alec's pinky curled over the wound.

Alec flexed his good hand. His fingers clawed his palm; they drew blood. He settled Logan between his legs, let Logan slump against his chest.

Logan's skin felt clammy when Alec wrapped a forearm under Logan's chin. Logan stayed still in his arms.

"Hold on," Alec croaked. 

His forearm shrank around Logan's throat.

 

Alec couldn't look at him.

"Keep the pressure on his leg," Alec said shortly. He staggered to his feet. He clung to the wall of crates and took a deep breath. He straightened when the walls stopped moving."I'm…I'm going to check outside for something to…" He couldn't finish.

Phil wordlessly nodded.

Logan, of course, said nothing.

The shed door screeched as the edge scraped across the ground. Alec fell out. His eyes landed on the car still burning. He hobbled to it, his legs dragging with a sudden heaviness. He stood in front of the car with a blank look.

The metal was hot. Scalding. Alec had to use a sleeve to pad his hand. He tugged free a piece of the passenger door. It looked disturbingly like a curved dagger with its hooked tip glowing molten red. He blew at it until its tip cooled to an orange instead. He stared at the shard, his throat tight and his mouth dry. He looked back at the shed.

Jaw set, Alec held the metal piece away from his body. He limped determinedly back to the shed.

 

"Are you kidding me?" Alec snapped.

Phil didn't answer. He was too busy throwing up at the corner.

Alec roughly threw away the shrapnel. The metal, now cooled, clattered to the back. He checked the wound. He checked the area around the blistering. He palpitate the flushed skin. He breathed out sharply.

"Bleeding's stopped," Alec reported curtly.

"Sorry," Phil stammered as he stumbled back to them. His face was as white as Logan's. "The smell…I…"

"Cauterizing the wound is the best way to stop the bleeding for now," Alec bit out. "It sucks. It's messy but effective." Sometimes. 

Alec canted his head.

"Sirens." Alec carefully transferred Logan to Phil's arms. "Keep him warm and covered. Make sure the others are still not bleeding." He pulled himself to his feet, using Phil's shoulder as leverage. 

"I'm going to…" Alec gestured towards the door. "Sirens. Yeah."

Alec didn't wait for Phil's response. He aimed for the door. His shoulder crashed into it and the door abruptly swung open as he lurched through it.

The air was tinged with the stench of burning fuel. Alec took a deep breath anyway to replace the clinging smell of burning fle—

No.

Alec shook his head. He clamped his mouth shut. He stared hard into the distance.

The sirens Alec heard were far. Still far enough away Alec needed to strain his hearing to catch the wisps of a wail. But it was better than sitting curled around Logan, the smell of vomit sour in his nostrils, the feel of flesh that had jumped under Alec's arm when he tightened his hold around Logan's neck, arm pressed harder into the C—

Alec bumped into the shed as he hunched over and threw up. 

The pulse had fluttered under Alec's arm. The breath stuttered against Alec's chest. Logan didn't struggle, but even he couldn't control his body's natural instinct to buck under the threat of suffocation. Alec murmured meaningless words, sounds pleading Logan to relax, to take it easy, it's okay, it's okay, babe.

Logan mumbled something low, but Alec heard him all the same. He started, but mindful of the fragility pinned under his arm, he forced himself not to rear back. He held still. One. Two. Three. He gulped back the lump in his throat when Logan gave a tiny shudder then stilled.

A little more pressure. If he wasn't careful…

_Snaaap_.

"Fuck," Alec gurgled out. " _Fuck_." 

Alec's head hung low as he retched, dry heaving so hard, so chest deep, it ripped tears out of his eyes. The salt burned down the sides of Alec's face as his chest clenched. He gagged, shaking violently enough he almost missed the sirens behind him.

The shrill wail roused Alec. He straightened. He roughly wiped his mouth with a bloodstained sleeve. He stumbled (fell) back into the shed.

"They're here," Alec said needlessly. 

"Logan?" A short bald man burst into the shed. He ignored Alec's snarl as he fumbled out his id. "Sam Carr. I have a paramedic with me. Wher—Damn it."

Carr didn't give Alec or Phil another glance. His brown eyes were quick to access as he elbowed past them and crouched down to Logan's side. He nodded distractedly as Phil rattled off the injuries, but Alec caught keen dark eyes landing on each wound when mentioned.

Logan was loaded onto a stretcher as soon as the IV was inserted. Alec curled and uncurled his fists as he watched because there was nothing else he could do. The enemy was eliminated. The bullets were spent. The blood was spilled. There was nothing left for Alec to do.

"Go with him." Phil appeared by Alec's elbow. He reeked of puke; he looked smaller without his coat and his hands shook. But he prodded Alec out of the shed.

Carr looked crossed when he caught Alec with one boot already on the runner.

"I'm going with him." Alec tried to sound stern, but it sounded weak in his ears. 

Carr nodded as he went around Alec and climbed into the ambulance. "Then get in now or we're leaving without you."

Alec got in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to have finished typing up the next chapter by next Tuesday, Wednesday the latest.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers: parallels events from "I Am and I Am A Camera"
> 
> Warning: I am not a doctor. I research a lot, though. But please don't take anything here as an accurate medical depiction. Contains strong language, as well.

"Damn it."

Alec raised his heavy head. He had been staring at the cut on Logan's left ear since Carr set him down on a bench in the back corner of the ambulance. It was easier than watching Logan lie too still on the stretcher, his pullover cut open right down the middle, his torso patched with bloody gauze and dotted with electrodes.

"What?" Alec croaked, unsure if he heard Carr correctly. His ears were ringing, echoing the sirens wailing above their heads.

Carr scowled at the pressure cuff like it offended him. His dark eyes glanced over to Alec. The doctor looked back to Logan.

Alec straightened in his seat. The blue icepack Carr had slapped over his right knee flopped to the floor. He checked Logan. His chest rose and fell, he was breathing, that was good wasn't it, but if Carr wasn't happy…

" _What_?" Alec said, sharper. He curled his hands around the railing in front of the stretcher. He wanted to touch Logan, even if it was only his hair, but he couldn't bring himself to reach over the few inches. Logan looked so breakable.

"His BP is ninety and still dropping. And he's getting tachy." Carr pumped the cuff again. He stooped, easily finding his balance as the ambulance did its best to shave time off the twenty-three minute trip. He slipped two fingers under Logan's jaw. He pinched the tips of Logan's fingertips and watched the nails take too long to return to pink. The lines on his forehead deepened. 

"He must be bleeding somewhere."

Alec shook his head. He squeezed the railing by Logan's face. "No, I…he—we sealed the—"

"Yes, the one on his leg. Excellent job, by the way." It was hard to tell if Carr was pissed or impressed.

"We couldn't…" Alec ground his teeth. He sucked in his breath. But the urge to shout evaporated the second Alec's eyes landed on Logan's slack features. Now, only a cold and metallic taste lingered in the back of his throat. 

Alec gave in to what he had wanted to do since he climbed in; he dropped a hand gingerly on top of Logan's hair. When Logan didn't react, Alec's throat worked.

"Did I…" Alec fought to keep his voice steady. "W-what did I miss?"

Carr's mouth twitched. Something in his eyes eased. 

"No. I think he's bleeding internally." Carr reached out a hand towards Alec but stopped short. Instead, he nodded to the IV bags which hung limp and depleted above Logan. "I have them on full, but it's not enough." Carr gripped the stretcher's rails.

"He's AB negative. His blood type is very rare. I have ten units waiting in the OR just in case because last time..." Carr swore under his breath. "I should have brought some with me—Damn it."

"Me."

Carr's eyes whipped towards Alec. "What?"

Alec struggled out of his destroyed jacket. His shoulders had stiffened up during the ride and refused to let him shrug his coat off. His mind flipped through every training session they force fed him: tubing, find a vein, elevate…

"I could be his blood donor."

Carr had shaken his head before Alec finished. "I can't just let you transfuse him on the spot. There may be allergies; we need to do bloodwork—"

Alec managed to pull one arm out. He tapped the inside of his elbow as he curled his hand into a fist to locate a viable vein. "I can tell you there won't be any allergies. We're souped up to be able to— _what the hell are you doing_?"

Carr had grabbed the back of Alec's neck. Alec reared up and slammed Carr to a wall. The brackets above rattled. Alec pinned Carr to the partition between the driver's seat and the ambulance with a forearm.

"Hey, what the hell is going on back there?" the driver up front hollered. The ambulance slowed.

"Keep going!" Carr shouted despite the arm under his chin. His voice cracked when Alec leaned into his vise. "It's fine!"

"Doctor?"

" _ **Move**_!"

The ambulance sped up once more.

Alec breathed hard, his chest heaving as he held Carr by the throat. Carr didn't struggle, his shoulders were crushed to the wall, his legs awkwardly folded under the wall mounted bench. He stayed still, though like it was everyday someone rammed an arm under his throat.

"Are you like Max?" Carr demanded. 

Taken aback, Alec blinked. "W-what?"

"You said universal blood donor. Do you have a bar code?" Carr made an impatient sound. He gripped Alec's arm on his throat.

"You're like Max, aren't you? Logan asked me to test his and your blood a while ago. I still remember the results. It might work."

Alec staggered back. He released Carr. He stared at the doctor, his mind blank. When he glanced over to Logan, everything snapped back to place.

"Yeah, we're engineered to be able to swap blood out in the field. I'm a walking blood bank." Alec almost tore off his jacket to free his other arm.

Tubing and syringes scattered to the floor as Carr rummaged through the drawers for what he needed.

"I only need enough to stabilize him. Just until—"

"Take what you need!" Alec was shouting above the sirens at this point. The more he looked at Logan, the more the cold, numbing feeling in his chest grew. He could barely breathe around it. He wanted to snatch the tubing out of Carr's hands because the doctor was wasting time wiping the needle to stick into Alec. 

"Whatever you need! I'll be fine! Come on!"

Alec shoved his arm towards Carr. He stared off to the side and not at the needle, not at Logan.

Carr's eyes swept over Alec. The terse line of his mouth relaxed. He briefly gripped Alec's good knee, retreating when Alec couldn't help but flinch. 

"Lie back on the bench," Carr said gently.

 

_The muscles in the neck were vulnerable. C1 and C2 separate easily when pressure is applied. Locking in the neck before pressing above the—_

_The bones separate easily. They cracked, they disconnected, cutting off precious oxygen, blood and signals from flooding the brain to remind it to do all the things it needed to do to stay living._

_"Well done, 494."_

_He stared impassively at the man on the dirt. The target laid there, limbs akimbo, blood pooling and muscles hardening into the rigidity of death. He didn't know who the target was. No name was ever provided. A part of him noted it was because the target didn't require soft hands and a wet mouth on him. The target only required an arm jammed in the correct spot and a swift snap of the wrist._

_There was still a bad bitter taste in his throat like he had dropped down to his knees first._

_Absently, 494 wiped the corner of his mouth even though there was nothing there._

_"Report to the extraction spot."_

_The voice in his earwig droned on the coordinates, unbothered by the fact the target expired noisily and messily. The target had begged 494. The target had soiled himself as his head was locked into position._

_The body, formerly known as the target, was left on the ground._

_When 494 turned for one last look, this time, it was Logan lying on the ground._

 

Alec started. His mouth felt gummy, his eyes were boiling, but he was able to make out Carr pulling out the needle from Logan's arm.

"What…" The words oozed thick out of Alec's throat. "W-what are you doing?"

"He's leveled out," Carr reported. He placed the stethoscope bell over Logan's chest. Then he checked Logan's blood pressure again. He grunted as he squinted at the numbers on the small monitor. "He'll hold until we get him into surgery."

Alec blinked blearily at his own arm. His stomach clenched when he realized the tubing was missing.

"I can give more," Alec croaked. He kept his arm outstretched to save them time. Logan didn't appear different. Shouldn't he look different? "You said he was stable. He doesn't look better. Maybe he needs another transfusion—"

Carr dropped a hand on Alec's arm. He nudged the arm bent, folding it over the tiny bandage he taped inside Alec's elbow.

"We're almost there," Carr told him. "Your BP was bottoming out. We needed to stop."

Alec shook his head, but he could barely move. His neck felt stiff, tendons tight all the way up to his ears. "We're made to recover fast. I can give more—"

Carr vetoed it with a shake of his head. "We just stabilized Logan—"

"But he might need—"

Carr's grip was firm. Alec was shocked when he realized he couldn't straighten out his arm from under Carr's hold.

"B-but…" Alec stared at Logan. "He…"

The ambulance slowed. 

"We're here!" The driver banged on the wall. 

The ambulance's double doors flew open before the vehicle came to a complete stop. 

Carr patted Alec's shoulder and turned away.

"GSW victim," Carr shouted as soon as the light from outside flooded the inside. "No exit wound on the—"

"Breath sounds at—"

"What's his BP?"

"I need epinephrine. Give me…"

"OR two is set up—"

"No time for a cross match. He's AB neg—"

"Ten units of AB neg is…"

Alec half collapsed on the bench. He stared as Carr barked orders. He knew what they were shouting back and forth, but he…nothing made sense right now. His eyes drifted down to the top of Logan's head. The buzzing in his ears faded somewhat.

A flurry of green scrubs invaded the cramped space and swarmed Logan's still form, blocking him from Alec's sight.

Alec made a small sound deep in his throat. He tried to sit up, but his knees wouldn't cooperate. His head would only turn with the rest of his body. His arms shook when he attempted to push off the bench.

"Dean, let us work." It was disturbing how easy it was to push Alec back onto the bench with a prod of a hand. Carr glanced up, his eyes skimming over Alec. He nodded curtly before returning his attention to Logan. 

It was meant to be reassuring, Alec numbly supposed, but how could it be when there were too many people surrounding Logan? 

When Logan's stretcher started to roll out, Alec pulled himself up using anything bolted within reach. He hunched under the low ceiling and staggered to follow. 

Alec abruptly dropped to his knees in a _thump_ loud enough one of the people around Logan's stretcher looked up towards him with a start. Grunting, Alec clawed his way back up to his feet and tumbled out of the ambulance after the gurney. 

Hands curled around Alec's wrists, stopping his dogged pursuit of the stretcher.

Alec jerked with a snarl.

Original Cindy's brown eyes gazed back at him.

Alec gaped. "What are yo—how did you…" He shook his head. He clumped forward, his eyes on the stretcher escaping into the double doors.

Cindy didn't let go of Alec's wrists.

"Your fan boy Phil called us. Come on…"

For some reason, Original Cindy steered Alec to the other direction, not towards the solid red line that led to the OR.

"Wait…"

"Your detective buddy told Original Cindy there might be fuzz buzzing around here in a few minutes. He's going to shake them away." Cindy's hand wouldn't budge from Alec's hands. "Stop being rude and let Original Cindy set you down, this way, over here, pay attention…"

Alec twisted his torso, trying to track the stretcher, but it had disappeared around the corridor bend. The empty hallway, once crowded with staff, Carr and Lo—

"This way." It seemed like everyone took some sort of super pill today because Cindy was able to frog march Alec into a room. He vaguely noted the words _Staff Lounge_ stenciled on the door before it swung shut behind them. Wait. This wasn't the room he wanted.

"No, they're taking him to OR two," Alec protested.

Cindy shushed him even though Alec's voice was barely a whisper.

Alec was shoved down on a couch. He blearily looked around, taking in the broken vending machine, a counter cluttered with a coffeemaker and a microwave displaying the incorrect time. He numbly glanced down; he was sitting on someone's couch. It felt wrong. The whole room was wrong.

"I shouldn't be here." Alec clutched an armrest and pushed up. 

Cindy's hand clamped over Alec's shoulder.

Alec's knees buckled. He fell back down.

"Let me up!" Alec snapped. He slapped a hand around Cindy's wrist. He squeezed. Her wrist felt tiny in his grip. "Damn it! Let me up or lose your hand!"

Cindy stared unblinkingly at Alec. She didn't remove her hand.

Alec tensed. His fingers twitched.

Cindy still wouldn't let go.

Alec deflated. His hand dropped to his lap.

The couch creaked when Cindy sat down next to him.

"Sugar, you can't show your face around there right now. Let Matt clear it out first, okay?"

"But…" Alec held out his arm to Cindy. For some reason, she didn't appear to get the significance of the small band-aid on his arm. 

"He needed blood. What if he needs more?" A vise shrank around Alec's throat. Alec gasped as he fought to get enough air to form the words. "What if they can't find me?"

"They have enough. You're as white as Original Cindy's good bed sheets."

Alec shook his head. He swallowed hard when the room spun. His stomach lurched.

"But he might need more. What if they need more—what if they can't find me?"

Cindy's arm slipped around Alec's shoulders. 

Alec's mouth felt dry. His chest seized around the hard hammering of his heart. Logan's heart had sounded wrong. It had sounded fast. It must have been pumping desperately, bleeding out, losing more blood than Logan could afford.

"I have to be there." Alec locked his knees, but he couldn't get up. Cindy's arm tightened around him. 

"They're going to need more blood. I can give more—"

"They know where you are. Lie back."

Alec shook his head. Why didn't Cindy understand? "It might take them too long to find me. What if—"

"Matt will tell them."

"But—"

"Sh. Put your head down."

There was an odd echo bouncing around the room. Alec's voice rose because it felt like no one heard him. "I can't. I _can't_. He might need more blood."

Alec didn't know when his head was down. When Cindy dropped a hand over his ear, Alec discovered he was lying on his side, eyes fixed on the door, his head on Cindy's lap.

"Close your eyes. Original Cindy got you…"

Alec fought to keep his eyes open.

"Rest up. You want to be able to give more blood later, right?"

"I can give more now," Alec slurred. He stretched out his arm. "See?"

Cindy tucked his arm back to his side. "We see."

"They know where to find me?" Alec pressed.

Cindy stroked Alec's head. "There are arrows, signs and a right goofy looking Phil out there to point the way."

Alec blinked heavy lidded. "They'll get me? They know I can give more?" He gulped in a sound that wanted to escape. He didn't want to hear it; he didn't want to hear what wanted to claw out of the pit of his stomach.

"Was it enough?" Alec rasped. "Did I give him enough? What if it wasn't enough?"

Cindy exhaled unsteadily. "Oh boo…"

Alec bit his lower lip. "He can't die, O.C. That will be a dick move if he does."

Cindy didn't reply. She dropped a kiss on Alec's hair. It felt wrong, so god damn wrong. It didn't feel right. It didn't smell right. The warm solid form under Alec's cheek wasn't the right shape. 

"Cindy?" Alec choked out.

"Hm?" Cindy's long nails carded through Alec's hair. They felt knife sharp on his scalp, yet the gentle skimming motion lulled Alec's eyelids to flutter.

"If he dies, I'm going to kick his ass."

Cindy kissed Alec's hair again. She kept brushing her hand, her wrong feeling hand—too small, too smooth, smelled like perfume not ink—over his scalp.

Alec stared hard at the door, willing it to open, yet hoping there wouldn't be a need for it to open either. Eventually, the heavy drag of his eyelids won out and he sagged into the darkness under the sensation of an unfamiliar caress.

 

_"Porn writer."_

_"Hm?"_

_"You asked if I was never Eyes Only, what would I be?" Logan's smirk was audible. "I think I would be a porn writer."_

_Alec snorted. He didn't lift his cheek off the pillow. It was warm, firm and smelled like the almond hand lotion they used before because they ran out of lube._

_"You're creative enough," Alec mumbled into the pillowcase, "Especially that thing you do with your tongue. You could write epics about what you do with your tongue. I would totally read that from end to end." Alec snickered._

_A finger flicked Alec's ear. Alec whined._

_"Bitch. I was having a post-coital moment." Alec propped himself up on an elbow. He favored Logan a leer._

_"Unless you're ready for round…" Alec paused. "Three? Wait. Four?"_

_"Four," Logan responded, his cheeks pinking. "And no, I'm not ready for another go."_

_"Yet," Alec purred. He palmed a well defined pec, his thumb tracing the dark, dusty circle around a teat. He made a show of wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his other hand._

_Logan snorted. "Okay, was that slobber for round four or should I heat up another helping of pie? I think we still have two slices left."_

_"I don't slobber!"_

_"The sheets and my shoulder say otherwise."_

_Alec dragged his gaze down the length of Logan's body. At least, Logan stopped trying to cover himself up with a pillow these days. He smacked his lips as his gaze lingered on his favorite spots._

_"Again with the drool."_

_"Just wondering if we could smear that pie all over you."_

_"Alec, I took a shower already."_

_"I know. I was there." Alec waggled his eyebrows. "I'll be more than happy to refresh your memory if you want."_

_"You did," Logan said dryly, "Post round two. Remember?"_

_"No, can't say that I do. Show me again." Alec cackled when Logan captured his hand and tugged Alec back to bed before Alec could get the wheelchair to steer Logan back into the showers._

_"Fine," Alec pretended to sigh. "Stay smelly." He settled against Logan's side._

_Logan's arm tentatively came around Alec's shoulders._

_Alec dropped his head on Logan's shoulder so the arm couldn't pull away. Logan always retreated after a point as if he feared he had overstayed his welcome._

_It was dark. It was quiet. Alec could taste the heady, musky scent of sex. It tasted familiar and comforting like the bar of Logan's soap damp and sudsy from the shower. He took a deep breath and thought he could feel the air around them—tinged with sex, Logan and everything good—seeping into his skin._

_Alec stared at their legs stretched out side by side on the bed. The bed sheets were…somewhere. Alec vaguely remembered kicking them off when one hard thrust nearly rolled Logan facedown to smother into the blankets. Without the cloak of the blankets, Alec found himself staring at their legs, pressed close together, as if they stood shoulder to shoulder, like they were sitting right now. It had been automatic: Logan always took the left side of the bed, letting Alec commandeer the right, in front of the door. They never discussed it; they fell into their places like they've done it a thousand times._

_The thought of a thousand times and maybe a thousand times more coiled soft and warm inside Alec's chest._

_"Musician," Alec blurted out. He grimaced. He hadn't planned on letting that slip out._

_Logan's body shifted closer to Alec, but otherwise, he was silent._

_"I like music," Alec said hesitantly. "On my last assignment, I was…" He swallowed. He found if he let the rest of his weight lean against the sturdy feel of Logan's shoulder, it was easier to let the words fall out._

_Alec poked Logan's other hand; it had reached over to weave together with Alec's._

_"I like there are rules to some things," Alec murmured. He tweaked each digit in Logan's hand, pinching them at the tips and watched the fingers curl in response. He thought he heard the strains of an A minor scale. "There are rules on what each note should sound like; what and how fast you should play it, but the rules aren't ironclad. You could go crazy with a piece or follow each note and it'll still sound good."_

_Logan's arm rubbed up and down Alec's shoulders. "Which instrument?"_

_Alec almost said piano, but the word stuck in his throat. He burrowed closer into Logan's side and shrugged instead._

_After a beat, Logan cleared his throat delicately, but he surprised Alec when his next words weren't a question._

_"You a musician, maybe playing in the German Carnegie Hall and me a…" Logan scoffed. "A writer of questionable material."_

_Alec pressed an open mouthed kiss on the curve of Logan's shoulder. "Think we still would have met? Think our eyes would have met across the stage?"_

_"Yes."_

_"You sure you didn't want to think about it a little longer?" Alec tilted his head up and traced the sharp jaw line with his lips. The scruff on Logan's cheeks tickled his nose._

_"I think no matter who we are…" Logan moaned when Alec lowered his head and laved a nipple. It hardened under Alec's attentions. Logan leaned into Alec's lapping tongue. "I would like to think we'll always find—Alec, oh God, please—find each other."_

_Alec liked the sound of it. He told Logan this by way of tiny nips on the under curve of his pecs, a finger slyly breaching Logan's hole still loose, warm and deliciously wet. Logan, at first, didn't react to the touch, but his mouth fell open in a whimper when Alec firmly pressed down._

_"Think you'll still be this sensitive for me if we were different people?" Alec cooed. He leaned into Logan's space, crowding him against the headboard as he added a finger. He massaged the small bump inside with increasing pressure as Logan's hungry sounds rose._

_Logan shuddered around Alec's fingers. He reached down and traced where Alec's fingers connected with him._

_"So good," Alec breathed when Logan's index finger nudged past the sphincter muscle, the callus rubbing against Alec's digits as it slipped in past two knuckles._

_"Yes," Alec whispered. "You would be, no matter who you end up being." Alec pushed his fingers in deeper, dragging Logan's finger in deeper as well. "You'll open up for me. Maybe we would have met in the restrooms; maybe I would have hauled you up on a counter and stuff you with my fingers."_

_"Your hands," Logan groaned. "Musician's hands…"_

_Alec hummed. "You would sit there and take it, wouldn't you? I wouldn't let you beg. You wouldn't have been able to; I would have fucked you the moment you say hello to me."_

_"Awkward," Logan whispered, his breath catching as Alec's fingers darted deeper into him. His finger, caught with Alec's, helped fuck into Logan. "Out in public?"_

_"Yes," Alec growled. His hand was damp with sweat. Logan breathed against Alec's throat as the pace of their combined hands quickened._

_"I would have lain you out on the carpet, fuck you for all of them to see; so they know no matter who we are, you're still mine."_

_Logan's shoulders arched, his head thrown back as their fingers continued to cut deep, possessive and hungry. Their fingers quickened, their thrusts blurring, faster and harder, heat rising from their bodies, Alec's balls drawing tight against him as Logan mewled, unable to voice out if it was too much or not enough at all._

_Together, they groaned. Alec messily came all over Logan's thigh in thick ropes of come, splashing over the skin, marking Logan mine, mine, mine. He pulled out their combined digits. His aching erection breached Logan in a single stroke._

_Logan shouted, his body trembling with raw nerves as Alec thrust fast and shallowly until Logan came with a tiny sob._

_Panting harsh in each other's ears, Alec and Logan lay curled around each other._

_"No matter who we are," Logan murmured into Alec's sweat damp hair. He ran his hand down Alec's flank. "Regardless of where or who, I know we'd find each other."_

_Alec nodded against Logan's chest. "Sounds good to me," he mumbled. He dropped a kiss over the song of Logan's heart. "You?"_

_"I think it sounds perfect."_

 

The hushed voices above him were a familiar sort of sound. Discussions about 494 were often done over his strapped body. 

The hand on his head, though, was unfamiliar.

Alec's eyes cracked open. He stared blankly at the legs standing around him; a forest of jeans and pressed trousers. The stopwatch's ticking was oddly absently. No, wait—

"Logan?" Alec sat up. He squeezed his eyes tight. When the seesawing stopped, he opened his eyes again, this time, more cautiously. He paused at the sight of Phil and Sung standing over the couch.

"Still in surgery." Sung scrubbed his face with his hands. He looked odd unshaven; his five o'clock shadow left him looking like a weary stranger.

"Officially, he was caught in the crossfire of a gang war in sector three. There were a couple of shootings there the past few days, so it's plausible."

Alec glanced down at his arm, the pinprick needle mark has already healed. Someone had bandaged his slashed hand as well, even though he could already feel the pull of new skin. He glanced over at Cindy. She shook her head.

"They never came back." 

Alec's insides knot further. 

Phil shifted from foot to foot. The gears of his suit groaned in protest. "Maybe they didn't need more blood?"

Alec checked the door again, but no one came rushing in. That should be good news. Why didn't it feel like good news? 

A scratchy standard issue hospital blanket lay crumpled on Alec's lap. It was blue, as dark as the fleece one always draped over the couch or Logan's legs. It was disconcerting to touch it and realize it was nowhere as soft. Alec curled his hand before he shoves the imposter away.

"Can I head over there now?" Alec rasped.

Sung seemed to pick up where 'there' was. He shook his head.

"There's three detectives and SWAT in the waiting room." Sung winced. "The mayor assigned him police protection."

Alec tensed. He exchanged a look with Phil. Phil's hat was still missing. He wondered if anyone else thought Phil looked young without it. 

"Something else happened," Alec guessed.

Sung cleared his throat. Phil looked owlish as he stared at Sung, waiting.

"We…" Sung shoved his hands into his pockets. He exhaled sharply.

"We found Bennett Cale in his office an hour ago. His office was shot up. No witnesses."

Alec's jaw flexed at the MO. 

Sung's grimace seemed to agree. "ME thinks he's been dead since ten this morning."

"Was he murdered?" Phil asked tentatively.

Sung's mouth pressed thin. It was answer enough.

Alec ran a hand through his hair. 

"Shit," Alec muttered. "Jonas must have found out his son was going to roll on him."

"That's his son," Cindy said. "Would he do that to his own son?" She scowled. "Original Cindy thinks that's messed up."

"Or a third party." Alec picked a loose thread on the blanket. "Logan thought there might be someone more powerful pulling the strings." He exhaled sharply. "Otherwise, Jonas is one sick son of a—"

"But his own _son_?" Phil visibly struggled with the idea. 

Sung grunted. He stared into the vending machine's contents. Alec doubted he was hankering for a snack, though. 

"He willfully sent those things out to kill." Sung stared hard at the top row as if he was trying to see inside the candy. "And from what you guys told me about those mercenaries?"

Alec's upper lip curled at the mention. "The Reds."

"If Jonas Cale sent them to kill Logan; his own nephew? Family?" Sung trailed off and left the thought unfinished.

Alec realized Sung's unusually intense scrutiny of the vending machine was so he didn't have to stare at the door. His stomach lurched when he looked and saw no one coming.

"How long?" Alec croaked.

Cindy dropped a hand to Alec's knee. Phil rocked on his heels. Gears whined.

Sung's eyes drifted to the next row.

"Damn it, guys, how long?" Alec checked his watch, only to discover the face was smashed. His stomach roiled. He shot Phil a glare.

Phil squirmed. "Doctors don't like to be rushed," he stammered. "For insurance purposes, of course. They often take extraordinary care in order to ensure—"

"Six hours." Cindy squeezed Alec's knee. "It's been six hours."

Alec's stomach lurched. 

" _Six hours_? Why the fuck didn't you wake me? What if they needed more blood? Damn it, why didn't you—"

Alec tensed when he saw Doctor Carr heading their way. Alec leapt up to his feet. He flapped away the three hands that shot out to steady him when he tottered. 

"How is he?" Alec demanded as soon as the door swung open.

Carr appeared nonplussed by the question. He pulled off his surgical cap and folded his mask. His white coat was buttoned up to his throat, but Alec caught a whiff of blood from his scrubs underneath.

Alec suddenly found he couldn't move. His knees were locked in place. His throat squeezed shut.

Slowly, Carr nodded. 

"He made it through surgery. It looks promising."

Alec found he still couldn't speak. Around him, the others were smiling and nodding like it was a god damn party. 

"He's…he's going to be okay?" Alec managed out. Cindy squeezed his left hand. Alec barely felt it. 

Carr's eyes flicked over to Alec. He smiled wearily.

"Maybe you would like to see him?"

 

He looked small.

Alec vaguely remembered Carr telling him five minutes. He remembered nodding, too quickly, turning around and seeing the bed for the first time.

"Ah hell, Heather."

Alec tread carefully into the room. Carr had explained Logan was in the Critical Care unit as a precaution and because it afforded Logan the privacy the Recovery room couldn't provide.

Phil and Cindy waited outside rather than go in with Alec. Sung stood guard outside despite the fact no one knew Logan was here. Carr had registered Logan under a different name, different injury and a different room. Technically, Alfred Shawn was in this room. Seattle PD was upstairs, guarding an octogenarian sleeping off his hernia surgery.

Throat working, Alec approached the bed inch by inch. His throat tight, his chest numb, Alec edged closer to Logan as if the floor was thin ice. 

Alec's knee bumped into the bed.

Alec froze.

The monitors by Logan's head continued its rhythmic beeping. It was slow, almost serene despite its higher pitch. Yet it didn't sound like Logan's heartbeat either. The tone was all wrong. He stared at the oxygen line under Logan's nose. Cool, sterile air blew up. No congested wheezy snore either.

Alec gripped the rails on the bed. His eyes traced the shape of Logan's mouth, his nose and the long line of his throat. 

The collarbones jutted in sharp angles out of the sagging neckline of his hospital gown. The gown looked thin. Logan was probably cold. They should have given Logan an extra blanket. Alec tugged up the blanket higher until it covered Logan's clavicle and its healed divot.

Alec carefully picked up one hand. Logan felt cold as well. The fine boned, tapered hand felt light, too light, in Alec's grasp. Alec sucked in his breath when his hand curled around lax fingers. 

This was wrong. All of it.

Logan felt wrong. He smelled wrong. He sounded wrong. He looked wrong.

Alec swallowed. He rested his fingertips lightly on Logan's face. It felt like anything more and Logan would shatter. Yet Alec wanted to see Logan react to his touch; anything so long as he didn't look so still. 

"So uh…" Alec whispered. "Guess tonight's out, huh? Too bad, I was thinking of picking up egg rolls to celebrate." He heard himself and stopped. He scoffed under his breath. "I don't know what kind of stuff I should say. I haven't been by anybody's bedside since Rac—" He stroked a rough cheek. Even the stubble felt chilled.

"Did they give you one of those cheap gowns open in the back?" Alec choked out a chuckle. It felt weird coming out of his throat like he pushed out an object he was having trouble swallowing.

"Is that cute butt of yours hanging out in the wind?" Alec gently massaged Logan's fingers. He recoiled at first; it was like cradling a handful of snow. He sandwiched the hand between both of his.

"Geez, they should turn up the heat here. Or at least, give you mittens. You could make them work. Although how you're going to search for porn in that laptop of yours with mittens on…" Alec laughed again. It was a harsh sawing sound, quickly aborted when Alec heard himself.

Alec stared hard at his boots. His right knee kept jerking forward, jittering in place. 

"Hate seeing you like this," Alec whispered. "You in bed. I like to see you in bed, but not this bed, this bed sucks. I bet the sheets are not even a gazillion thread count like yours." He kneads the hand he held. He tried not to think about how chilled they still felt. 

"I've been spoiled by your sheets. Everything else feels like scouring pads now. You know how gross that is against the skin? Like sleeping on a bed of broken shells…"

Alec's eyes wandered to Logan's throat. His words dried up. There was a faint reddish band under Logan's chin. Alec's fingers trembled when he traced the bruise. He dropped his gaze and stared at the sheets until his eyes burned. 

"I didn't want to do that," Alec rasped. He roughly scrubbed his eyes with a sleeve. "I'd done it too many times before for too many bad reasons." 

Alec dropped into a nearby chair. It felt like he gave blood again. He felt wobbly at the knees. 

"This went south pretty quick, huh?" Alec rubbed his face with his hands. His vision kept blurring; his eyes felt gritty and swollen. 

"You're not supposed to be here." Alec's face contorted. "Damn it, you're not supposed to be here, Heather."

Logan said nothing. He simply breathed. Alec told himself that was okay.

"We're going to get those bastards," Alec whispered. "Remember the draft you made? I'm going to send it out. I'm going to play that hack every hour until those bastards piss in their expensive pants. I know you were waiting for more proof, but I don't care." Alec inhaled sharply.

"They're going to burn, Logan. I know you wouldn't want me to pull a 494 on them. We'll do it your way. But I swear to God, your hack is going out. Evidence or not, we're going to _ruin_ them."

Alec brushed a knuckle around the skin pierced by the IV ports. He grimaced at the way the skin pulled under the adhesive tape.

"They're going to pay for putting you here." Alec rubbed at the corner of one piece of unraveling tape. He could see the iodine hastily splashed over the IV sites; they left Logan's arm looking battered and bruised.

Alec should get up and head back to the penthouse. He should do exactly what he told Logan: pull a shitfest over _Cale Industries_ that would leave those wealthy suits quaking inside their fancy houses. He should leave; he should rip _Cale Industries_ apart with a few broadcasted hacks. He should…he should…

"Yeah, yeah," Alec whispered to the still form in front of him. "I'm going. Hot run. Bip, bip, bip. Just a few more minutes, all right? It's been a long day. Those bastards can enjoy being rich for a few minutes longer."

Despite what Carr said, Logan still looked too pale, like the blood was drained out of him rather than pumped into him. Alec's elbow pinched with the sensation of a needle sliding into a vein. He absently rubbed the spot.

"I'll stay for a bit," Alec decided out loud. "Just in case you need a fill up." He smiled bitterly.

"Guess Manticore was good for something after all." Alec half-heartedly pumped a fist in the air.

"Let's hear it for Frankenstein science."

Alec wiggled into his seat, but it felt like the chair only offered 'hard' and 'harder.' He sat stiffly, his lower back aching as he stared at Logan's ear. Someone had stuck a tiny band aid on the cut.

"You shouldn't be here," Alec repeated. "You should be in your rich man's penthouse, typing away on that stupid computer of yours, eating food that needs several pots and pans to make." The chair under him groaned when he leaned forward.

"You get better fast," Alec whispered. "Or else, I'm going to steal all your stuff." 

Alec's mouth twisted. 

"Guess that threat doesn't work anymore, huh? When was the last time I said I was going to hock your stuff? Last month? Two months?"

Alec brushed his palm across the stiff sheets. He grimaced. He was only kidding about the broken shells before. 

"I should get you out of here." Alec dragged his chair closer. He rested his chin on the bed rail. He found it easier to stare at Logan's mouth than the rest of him or the stark contrast of dark lashes curtained against an ashen face.

"You got a nicer bed, way nicer sheets and better décor. There's also a pair of lesbian vases missing you at hom—" He gulped, hearing himself. He mouthed the word to himself.

"Yeah," Alec croaked. "I need to take you h-home. You don't mind I say that, right? Home?" He dragged a finger across the sheets, following the line of Logan's arm. "We'll talk about it later, all right? Yeah, when you get better and don't have that many holes in you." 

Sagging back into the chair, Alec found his knee stopped bouncing up and down if he tucked his feet under the blanket by Logan's calf. He found it easier to draw in a breath if he threaded a hand into the one Logan had the least amount of IVs running out of. He rubbed the pulse point with his thumb. He sat in the chair with his legs up on the edge of the bed, his face tipped up to the ceiling, his fingers idly massaging the cool wrist.

"I'm right here if you need a refill," Alec whispered. "Just open your eyes and look over here, babe."

Gradually, the fluttering pulse beating under Alec's fingertips replaced the monotone beeping in the monitor. He breathed out long and slow. He felt the taut tension in his shoulders melting. He was left feeling slow-witted and lethargic.

Alec curled slightly in the chair, his cheek resting on the top edge of the chair. He watched Logan's profile. He watched Logan breathe. He watched Logan _live_.

His hand clutching Logan's fingers, Alec fell asleep.

 

"I said five minutes. That was an hour ago."

Alec peeled one eye open. He grunted.

Carr stood at the foot of Logan's bed, his mouth pursed as he considered Alec's feet under the covers. He tucked his hands into his white coat. Thankfully, the doctor had changed into a fresh pair of green scrubs.

"That's against hospital policy," Carr pointed out. 

Alec grinned sheepishly. He eased his feet out from under the covers and slipped them back into his boots.

"So was taking out an ambulance without permission." Alec canted his head. "We couldn't get one out to there. How did you manage that?"

Carr shrugged one shoulder. "Logan planned for contingencies in case…" He hesitated. "Given who his family is, that is. Logan has many…"

Alec waved a hand in the air because watching the doctor fumble around all the need-to-know shit, while funny, was also painful to look at. 

"Relax. I know his secret identity. I was there while he was badass."

The doctor nodded absently. He slipped his hands into his coat pockets. 

"So you and Max?"

Ew. Alec made a face. "We just…share the same test tube. Kind of a science fiction set of siblings if you want to call it that." He sobered as his gaze past over Logan.

"Did it help?" Alec asked in a small voice. "My blood, I mean. In the ambulance?"

Carr smiled faintly. He looked like someone's uncle now in those old, hokey television sitcoms Logan sometimes downloaded for Alec. The doctor has a roundish face, with a cut close to his skull to compensate for a receding hairline. When he wasn't pissed about any medical screw ups, Carr appeared friendly, in an "I'm going to stab you with an IV then give you a lollipop" sort of way.

"Logan wouldn't have survived the trip to the hospital otherwise," Carr said, not unkindly. 

Alec nodded to himself. He glanced over to the bed.

"And," Alec fumbled, "his leg?" He gestured to the heavily swathed limb in question. He caught the wince Carr didn't hide quickly enough. He gripped both armrests.

"He was bleeding out. It wasn't an artery, but—"

"It wasn't ideal," Carr interrupted, "especially with the bullet still in him, but I get why you felt it needed to be done. There's always a concern the shock from the pain—"

"He didn't feel it."

Carr shook his head. "I know Logan lost a good portion of sensation in his lower extremities, but—"

Alec choked out a chuckle that died too quickly. Carr stopped. He studied Logan. His eyes widened with understanding when his gaze landed on the marked throat.

"Yeah," Alec bit out. "Told him he would have felt it anyway so I…I uh…"

"You saved his life." Carr smiled ruefully at Alec. 

"Had to hurt him to do it." The sour taste in Alec's mouth hasn't left since the shed. 

"Doesn't matter. He's alive because of you." 

Alec swallowed. He nodded jerkily. "Okay. Thanks. I'm awesome. Yay." 

Carr opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His mouth snapped shut. He shook his head and squinted at the monitors above Logan's head instead. He scribbled something on the clipboard that hung at the end of the bed.

Alec wished there was some medical doctor DNA in his genetic soup. He looked at the monitors, but the numbers that glowed back gave him squat.

"He's stable," Carr said all of the sudden. 

"He's been out for a while." Alec stroked a thumb over the thin skin of Logan's wrist. He relaxed minutely at the _thump-thump_ beating back. "Shouldn't he be awake and lecturing us by now about stealing all your tongue depressors?"

"He should be coming out of anesthesia any minute." Carr returned the clipboard to the footboard. 

"Everyone else came in to see him and left while you were…keeping Logan company. Detective Sung is still outside guarding the room. Once Logan comes to, we'll be moving him into a private room."

"No windows," Alec advised. At Carr's arched eyebrow, Alec grimaced. "Ah, long and painful story."

"I'll see what we can do about blocking the windows." Carr went around the other side and picked up Logan's other hand. He nodded to himself as he counted.

"What?" Alec caught the furrow in Carr's brow.

Carr frowned as he checked the monitors.

"His vitals are not where I would have liked them to be by now. Especially after having undergone so many procedures, but we used everything we had in the blood banks."

"What about m—"

Carr shook his head. "We already took a lot. You're in no condition to provide another liter of blood. He'll be fine without it. It'll just take him longer to bounce back."

"But—"

Carr smiled tightly at Alec. "Tell you what: if in another few hours he's still borderline or it goes down, we'll revisit the transfusion idea. Okay?"

Alec opened his mouth to argue when he felt a twitch. He looked down and found Logan staring up at him with half-mast eyes. 

"Hey," Alec breathed. The urge to gather Logan to him warred with the urge to avoid breaking him.

Cracked lips mouthed "Hey" in return. Suddenly, Alec wanted to curl up in bed next to Logan.

"Welcome back," Carr said. He tilted his head as he considered Logan. "You had a lot of people worried here."

Logan's mouth twisted. He smacked his lips, a hint of teeth showing.

"We'll get you some ice chips in a bit," Carr promised. "I want to check you first. You remember what happened?"

Slivers of glazed green slid over to Alec. Alec squeezed his hand.

"You were being an idiot, that's what happened," Alec croaked. "You thought it was a great idea to use yourself and your car as a weapon."

Logan's brow furrowed. Alec saw when memory collected. Logan's eyes widened. They zipped back towards Alec.

Above Logan's head, a monitor bleated.

"Logan, you need to stay calm." Carr slid two fingers under Logan's jaw. His wrist snapped up to show his watch. 

"Hey," Alec soothed. He settled a hand on Logan's jaw. Alec made a show of taking a breath. "Like this. Slow. Over—sh, Logan. Over here." He smiled faintly when wild-eyed eyes focused again. "I'm in one piece. See? Still looking like my handsome self. Howdy."

Alec brushed a hand across wayward bangs away from Logan's eyes. "You, on the other hand, look a little gross with all the needles and scruffy cheeks and bad bed head."

Logan's mouth twisted. His eyes rolled up a fraction. A beat later, they widened and went back to Alec.

"Don't worry, I put them down." Alec grimaced at Logan's frown. "Yeah. _Them_. They sent two. Don't feel special. They went down easy."

Carr muttered, "I'll pretend I understood all that." The doctor flipped page after page on the clipboard. 

"So what's the damage?" Alec joked. "Or is he going to spring a leak every time he drinks?" He winked at Logan when the other gave a weak snort. 

Carr pursed his lips as he scribbled something on Logan's chart. When he looked up, the frown eased into a constrained smile. It looked more like a grimace, though.

"Logan, you have a nicked aorta we need to keep an eye on. You bled into your chest cavity because of it. Cardiac's confident the artery will heal fine, but you'll need to come in routinely for checkups." At Logan's frown, Carr scowled.

"Yes, checkups, like the ones you were supposed to have with me." 

Alec frowned at Logan's shuttered expressions. He filed it away to ask Carr about it later. 

"What about the rest?" Alec jumped it. Carr looked like he was going to launch into a lecture.

Carr exhaled. He shot Alec a knowing look. "The bullet that entered your shoulder had scratched it before it lodged between your ribs. Fortunately, the bullet didn't hit your shoulder blade otherwise the bone fragments…"

Alec flashed to a vision of Logan twisting over to reach the glove compartment. 

"The one on your side missed your kidney…"

Logan must have twisted his torso as he wrenched the wheel all the way to try and spin the car around again. Logan tried to hit the drone again, overcompensated and flipped the car instead.

"The one on your leg was trickier. The entry was at the side, under your hip bone. There was no exit wound and it came very close to some major blood vessels…"

Upside down, trapped in his seat, Logan couldn't move when the machine fired again, this time into the undercarriage of the car. The bullets punched into the car, tearing up steel, shredding seats that couldn't count as sufficient shielding. 

The urge to wrap himself around Logan returned; it stole Alec's breath. He forced himself not to clutch too hard around Logan's hand.

"It came out without too many complications, but the bleeding around the area exhausted our limited blood supply for you. As for the burn," Carr's eyes flicked back to Alec, "it's healing nicely. It's a small enough of an area. I can get a consult in tomorrow about a skin graft if you want." 

"Skin graft?" Alec's throat worked. His nape vaguely ached. "How bad was it?" He stretched out a hand to the padded bandage. His hand had retreated before he touched the loosely layered wrapping.

"It'll scar but the area was small enough, I think you can go without if you choose." Carr told Logan, but his eyes darted over to Alec. "It was a precise cauterization. If it hadn't been for it, you might have bled out before we could get to you."

Alec suspected Carr was saying it for his benefit. The doctor kept looking over as he spoke, mouth twitching in an aborted smile. He guessed he should be grateful, but he was unsure how to respond to the praise.

Fidgeting, Alec shrugged one shoulder at Logan. 

"We're trained to treat on the field when needed with whatever we had on hand, but don't worry. I left the real doctoring stuff with the Doc here."

"Thank you," Carr deadpanned. He yanked down the covers and drew up Logan's hospital top. Alec bristled. He locked his knees to stop himself from smacking Carr's hands away. 

Carr gingerly palpitated around a spotted patch of gauze a hand's breadth above Logan's right hip. "How does that feel?"

Logan's mouth pressed thin.

"It went out of its way not to hit anything major, but it exited closer to your spine than I'm comfortable."

Logan's fingers jerked in Alec's grip.

"How close?" Alec rasped. He held onto Logan's hand. He absently rubbed his thumb over the knuckles. 

"Close enough I was worried about another bleed there, but not worried enough to seek a neurological consult until tomorrow morning." Carr appeared understanding as he dropped a hand on Logan's shoulder.

"Status quo, buddy. I know that's not much of a comfort, but you still have use of what you have now."

Logan's fingers were cold and stiff in Alec's grasp. 

Carr studied the monitors above Logan's head.

"I'm still not too happy about your pressure, though. I don't know if it's a remainder from the previous spinal surgery, from this huge weight loss I want to talk to you about or your present condition. We're checking with the blood banks—"

"I told you," Alec interrupted. "If you need it, I can give more blood—"

Logan's hand jerked in Alec's grip.

Startled, Alec glanced down.

"'hat?" Logan croaked.

Above Logan's head, a monitor beeped.

Alec turned his arm towards Logan to show the small round Band-Aid. "Universal blood donor."

"Your blood..." Logan's voice was stronger, clearer now. "No."

Alec smiled faintly. "It's fine. It's been a few hours. You can tap me for some more. We took blood tests before. Remember? I'm clean."

Logan clutched Alec's hand tight. 

The monitor's beeping grew urgent.

Carr frowned at the screen then at Logan.

"Logan, I need you to calm down."

"No."

For a second, Alec thought Logan was talking to Carr, but his eyes were glued to Alec. They were wide and unblinking.

Alec's stomach roiled. 

"Hey," Alec said weakly. "It's fine, okay?"

It seemed like all the color was leeched from Logan's eyes. He stared up at Alec, holding Alec's hand so hard his arm shook.

"No," Logan repeated. His voice rose higher but barely audible above the monitors wailing.

Carr elbowed past Alec. Their hands separated, but Alec couldn't bring himself to recapture Logan's hand. Logan's denial banged inside him. He felt bruised inside.

"I need you to step outside for a bit," Carr said curtly as he pulled out his stethoscope. He punched a button on Logan's head. "Logan, look at me, deep breaths, I need you to…" 

"Not 'is 'lood. You can't…"

The ground fell out from under Alec's feet. His hand dangled against him. He couldn't bring himself to move, to think.

Carr finally remembered Alec was there.

"Dean, I need you to step outside. Now."

Alec stared at Logan, who had his eyes squeezed tight, head turned away, his breathing growing short and rapid, racing with the monitors' alarms.

"Yeah. I'll uh…" 

Logan's eyes flew opened. His gaze zeroed in on Alec.

"No," Logan gasped. "A'ec."

"Don't worry," Alec stammered out. "Doc said no more blood anyway."

Logan wheezed. The monitors wailed louder, drowning out the broken syllables Logan's cracked lips tried to form.

Alec found it hard to form words as well and do other…stuff like he was malfunctioning, robot boy needs a reboot. He retreated another step. Nurses rushed past him. Alec stared at the tableau a minute longer before the echoes of Logan's denial banged too hard against his ribs.

"What's going on?" Sung darted a look at the double doors Alec stumbled out of. 

Alec shook his head. 

"Watch him," Alec managed. The walls seemed to loom over him. Behind him, the monitors tried to outdo themselves, wailing over each other.

A hand reached over to grip Alec's shoulder but snatched back when Alec cringed.

"Yeah." Alec couldn't think of what else to say. The monitors behind him were calmer, the doctor and nurses unhurried now, but he didn't turn around. He couldn't. He stared blankly at Sung's hand. It occurred to him Sung was trying to be nice. Maybe. Probably.

"Alec?" Sung didn't touch Alec again. He nodded towards the doors. "Doctor over there is waving over you could go back in again."

"Yeah," Alec repeated. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Sung's frown. "I need to…his stuff…" Alec took a deep breath and tried once more. 

"I gotta get back to his place and get some things for him and handle some…business." Alec gave Sung a significant look. The detective nodded minutely, his jaw set.

"Is there going to be a hack tonight?" Sung said low enough only to Alec's ears.

"He always pre-records something before heading out." Alec's jaw set. "Just in case. I need to make some minor changes before I…" He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I don't know how long it's going to take me. I might not be able to come back until much later tonight." Alec wasn't sure if he should.

"I'm going to be here overnight," Sung promised, "And with Bennett Cale's murder, extra police protection around every Cale wouldn't look suspicious."

"Make sure the windows are blocked wherever they put him."

"Planning on it. Are you sure you don't want to see him before you go?"

Alec swallowed. He avoided looking at the shut door."

"Alec?"

"He saw me," Alec whispered. "There wasn't anything more to say."

 

It was only after he stepped out into the night air did he remember his ride was a pile of metal back by the docks.

Alec's lips pulled back into a grimace. He stared blankly at the parking lot. It was half filled with cars, most likely owned by worried friends and relatives. He considered each vehicle, weighing the possibilities. 

After a beat, Alec shook his head. He wasn't in the mood for a little auto theft tonight. In the mood. Ha. Now he knew how Logan felt.

A knot formed in the pit of Alec's stomach. He thought about the wide-eyed look Logan gave Alec. He thought about the white knuckled grip on his hands.

Scared.

Logan was scared. A round of science experiment blood now flowed through Logan's veins. Of course, he was afraid. 

Alec swallowed. But the blood tests told Logan Alec was clean, right? No slimy diseases from slimy Fifties and Hundreds. So his blood was a fancy chemistry or biology recipe. So what? It wasn't going to turn Logan into something that glowed in the dark or worse, a 49—

The knot in Alec's gut pressed against his ribs. He glanced down, mildly surprised it hasn't burst out of him by now. It felt like it could. He absently rubbed his stomach. 

The voice behind Alec was startling. He almost jumped. He didn't hear her approach. _God, get it together, 494._

"You heading back inside?"

Original Cindy's voice was too soft, too "Aw, poor baby" for Alec to bear. He turned around, vaguely glad his knee and shoulder didn't hurt anymore otherwise, he'll make a humiliating pile of limbs on the ground in front of Cindy.

"With him out for the count, someone else has to cover his duty as a superhero." Alec laughed strangely. "I sort have tagged myself in."

Cindy pursed her lips. They were red, blood red if Alec thought about it (which he didn't); they matched the red denim tucked into sleek, shiny black boots.

Alec half-heartedly leered. 

"Wow, you look particularly slutty tonight. Did you have a hot date?"

Cindy set her fists on her hips. Alec tried to appreciate what that pose did for her ass.

"We had plans to meet River," Cindy offered, playing along.

"River?" Alec's eyebrow rose. "As in 'we broke up because she was bored playing in Team Lesbian' _River_?" He smirked wearily. "Also, when you say 'we,' did you mean you, yourself and moi or did you mean 'we' as in you and me and River makes tres, which is by no means not awesome. In fact, it's very awesome, but maybe not tonight because I got a little impersonating to do—"

Cindy heaved a sigh. "Come here."

Alec froze; his monologue on the sexiness of threesomes died on his lips. "What? Why?" He took a step back.

"I haven't done anything head slap worthy unless you count staring at your ass longer than a min—"

Cindy muttered under her breath. She reached out. Alec flinched as her hand went around, over his shoulders, pulling—wait, _what_ —and…

Hugged him.

Alec stood rigidly in Cindy's hold. After a shaky exhale into Cindy's springy, tight curls, Alec hesitantly lifted up his arms and hugged Cindy back. When she gave him a tug closer instead of pushing 494 away, Alec sagged into her embrace. He dropped his face into Cindy's shoulder. She smelled like vanilla, not almonds and coffee. Still, she sort of smelled all right in an unfamiliar way.

"Your boobs feel nice," Alec mumbled into Cindy's neck. 

Cindy huffed out a laugh next to Alec's ear. Her arms cinched tighter around Alec, a brief squeeze before stepping back.

"Before you get any dumb ideas about Original Cindy," Cindy drawled. She lightly swatted the back of Alec's head.

"My ideas are never dumb," Alec grumbled. He touched the back of his head. He peered up at Cindy.

"He's all right," Cindy murmured. She glanced over her shoulder at the hospital behind them. "Come on."

Logan's unsteady "No" echoed in Alec's head. He stayed rooted to the spot.

"I can't." At Cindy's frown, Alec added, " _Eyes Only_ …stuff."

It sounded lame in Alec's ears. He forced himself to continue.

"What happened today. I gotta get the word out. Lo—he would have done it. Since he can't right now…"

Cindy nodded, but her brown eyes appeared doubtful.

"Then you're coming back?"

No. Maybe.

Alec forced himself to smile. "What do you think?" He edged away from Cindy.

"Look, I better go…before curfew and all. I…you make sure someone stays with him; preferably someone with a bazooka."

"Sure," Cindy said. She tracked Alec walking backwards out of the lot. "Until you come back."

Alec nodded jerkily. "Yeah. Of course. Until I…later, okay?"

Cindy's brow knitted. She opened her mouth and Alec could see the question forming on her lips. He balked.

"Yeah. So…curfew. Bye."

Alec turned around and left on foot for Logan's place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: After all the holiday gift wrapping, shopping, decorating, **baking** and the haymaking that comes with the holiday, I finally looked up and realized I hadn't posted what was **already cleaned up and ready**. 
> 
> My fault. Mommy's a ditz. _(typing away chapters 36 and 37)_
> 
> With that said, I wish you all a Merry holiday and joyous New Year.
> 
> See you here on AO3 very soon!


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers: parallel events from "I Am and a Camera" and mentions parallel events in "The Berrisford Agenda" and "B;ah Blah Woof Woof"
> 
> Warning: contains canonical death of a minor

"You there. Wait a moment."

Alec tensed. Damn it, he should have rappelled down from the roof after all. For once, the front desk of Logan's building appeared to be occupied by a competent security guard.

A broad smile plastered on his face, Alec turned around slowly. He tucked his hand into his back pocket and fingered the hard edge of a card. Hopefully, they wouldn't ask to see the keycard up close. He left his better fake on the nightstand.

"Dean Heather, right?"

Alec blinked. "Yea, that's me."

"You're on Mister Cale's approved list of people to access his unit." The guard double-checked his screen, missing Alec's slack-jawed expression.

Alec's mouth snapped shut. He recovered by the time the guard looked up. Alec's mouth contorted into a hopefully convincing smile.

The guard grimaced back at Alec. It was a fake smile, one the broad chested guard must have flashed to every tenant to avoid being accused of being rude. The no teeth showing smile was mismatched on his square face. He looked constipated; not 'oh let me get that door for you' friendly.

"A messenger dropped off a package for Mister Logan Cale at around one seventeen. He wasn't home, so the front desk signed for it."

Alec nearly snorted when he saw _Jam Pony's_ receipt taped crookedly on the manila envelope the guard held out. A red line was slashed on top, indicating it was a hot run, bip, bip, bip. Hot run. Uh huh. 

"Great, he was expecting this. I'll be sure he gets it. Thanks." Alec's expression felt like it was glued on wrong on his face. He wanted to snap at the guard, but not when the guy was within reach of whatever panic button they have on their desk. 

Alec's smile wavered when he saw the _Cale Industries_ logo and Logan's address hurriedly written in what was _not_ Jonas Cale's handwriting. Jonas Cale usually wrote a note like it was an edict. 

"Have a good evening, sir." The guard dismissed Alec. Politely, of course.

Alec tore his eyes away from the package he held. "Right. Okay." 

The guard arched an eyebrow at Alec. But by the time the elevator doors closed around Alec, the guard had already forgotten Alec.

 

_I didn't want to bring this with me. Just in case. I think my father is partnered with someone else on the Board. We'll talk about this later. BC_

 

The package was picked up by _Jam Pony_ at 0724; to be delivered to Logan Cale no later than 0900 hours.

Bennett Cale was dead by ten. 

Alec stared at the mini CD in his palm. Someone sloppily wrote _Lab Field Test Day Eighty-Four_ on its shiny face. The disk was the only thing inside the envelope along with the note. 

Knowing Logan, he would have gone to see his cousin earlier the minute he read its contents. Logan would have been in Bennett Cale's office before ten. 

Alec covered his mouth with his hand. He harshly exhaled through his nose. 

"Guess you were one of the good guys after all," Alec murmured. He tapped the CD lightly on the counter. His jaw worked. He glanced over his shoulder at the office area. It looked alien without Logan hunched over a keyboard.

"Don't worry. Whatever is in this thing isn't going to waste." 

Alec stalked towards the main desktop. He stood at the station; it didn't have a chair. Looking for one to put in this emptied space felt wrong though. Intrusive, even. Alec stooped down and reached for the keyboard on the workstation. There was a smudge on the space bar. The desk vaguely smelled like burnt coffee. Settling his fingers on Logan's keyboard felt almost scandalous. 

After a steadying breath, Alec tentatively typed in the password.

 

_"Cale Industries is guilty of murder. Its executive, Jonas Cale, twisted what we thought were there to protect us into killing machines. For profit. Over the past five months, they've manipulated hoverdrones..."_

Alec wanted to end the hack with "And then the fuckers tried to kill me" but he was sure _Eyes Only_ would never do that. Or even thought it was something worth mentioning.

It took only minutes to edit Logan's pre-recorded hack with additional dialogue and the video clips provided by Bennett Cale's CD. It took less time to activate the transfers and back date commands to shuffle Logan's trust fund safely away from his family's sullied money. And because Jonas Cale was a dick, Alec may or may not have moved more than what Logan's trust fund actually have left. 

It felt anti-climatic when Alec hit 'Enter.' The world didn't stop spinning. The air didn't fizzle. Despite how Alec felt, the world continued despite Logan Cale hurting in the hospital. It pissed Alec off.

Alec stretched out of his hunch over the station. He had stayed bent at the waist as he typed. Now his knee and ribs, still healing, throbbed as payback.

With a quiet groan, Alec padded into the living room. He turned on the television and watched the screen flickered. _Eyes Only_ filled the screen. He watched a combination of Logan and himself (cloned to sound like _Eyes Only_ ) verbally dismantled _Cale Industries_ ' profitable reputation. 

Logan never changed his password.

Alec wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or throw shit around when he had typed _'H38TH3R'_ into the keyboard and the computer immediately came to life. When the screen bloomed into the multiple pages Logan last worked on, Alec felt…he wasn't sure what he felt.

 _No_.

There was an edge of fear in those red-rimmed eyes. Maybe the idea of Alec's genetic soup coursing through his veins were a lot scarier than letting Alec fuck and spill into him.

The lights flickered as Seattle valiantly tried to shake off yet another brownout. _Eyes Only_ stuttered but continued on with the hack.

Alec stared at the unblinking gaze on the screen. His throat worked; he could still taste the dry burn of sterile air from the ambulance. He rubbed his palm down his thigh; he could still feel the tackiness of Logan's blood spurting out between his fingers. Alec wondered who helped clean his hand; he wondered who managed to sneak up on him to toss a blanket over his shoulders. Everything was still a hazy overlay in his mind from the moment he climbed into the back of the ambulance—

Logan had said no. 

Not his blood.

Echoes of Logan's words intruded into Alec's thoughts. Alec stopped scrubbing his hand down his thigh. He slumped into the couch, not watching the hack dissolved back into whatever the television was playing before. The hack would pop back every hour until late tomorrow morning, in case, no one was awake tonight to see _Eyes Only_ essentially doom _Cale Industries_ to a government takeov—

Logan said no; he didn't want his blood.

Alec muttered darkly at his own treacherous brain. It kept going back to it, round and round like a god damn racetrack; dissecting the three little words over and over. He wiggled deeper into the couch. His shoulders drew up to his ears. His stomach clenched as his palms brushed across the cushions. Alec remembered the last time he was here: Logan was warm and pliant in his arms then, groaning yes to everything Alec peppered on his skin. Logan had shivered, came with a soft and startled cry. He looked at Alec with amazement and astonishment like he always have. But never with disgust.

Logan never acted like Alec belonged in any ew-factor or found getting covered in a robot's come was disgusting. 

Alec swallowed. He absently scratched the couch. He wondered if it was normal to be able to feel the different textures of the cushions; where the fabric was repeatedly crushed, where it faded from the sun. Alec wondered if anyone could tell the difference or was it just lucky old 494?

Logan's heart sped up at the thought of someone else's blood— _494_ 's blood—coursed throughout his body. No. Logan said no—Damn it, why couldn't he stop thinking about it? Fine. Whatever. Was it really a surprise after all? 

Alec stared at the bedroom door by the television screen. It was left ajar this morning. Alec could see a sock on the carpet, peering around the door. Alec had jokingly chucked it towards Logan. Logan retaliated by snapping Alec's boxers towards his face; it was somewhere. When Alec declared he was going to go without, Logan's flush crept down to exotic places. 

What was it they talked about this morning? Alec's mind was blank. He couldn't remember what it was that was so funny stray socks and a pair of boxers became ammunition. 

Logan mentioned he'll pick up later after meeting Bennett. Their morning took longer than estimated because neither one of them had wanted to roll away from the sleepy cocoon their bodies formed curled towards each other. 

The sock on the carpet looked like Logan's. And it was mocking Alec.

Alec stared at the lump twisted around like a snake. A depleted snake; the sock glared up at him.

"Fuck you," Alec snapped. Immediately, he felt like an idiot and didn't that pretty much summed up everything right now? Okay, so Heather freaked out over the transfusion. Big deal, right? They both knew Alec was a custom job courtesy of Big Brother even if Logan insisted it didn't matter. 

But guess what? 

Apparently, it did.

Alec's head dropped back on the armrest. He debated going back to his bolt hole. He's done what he can as a pseudo- _Eyes Only_. Alec mulled over the idea. His mouth twisted. He wondered if his latest dump was even there. He hasn't been there to ensure his claim since— _whoa_.

"Two months," Alec murmured. Yeah, that place was gone for sure. Good thing his stuff was… 

Alec's eyes wandered to his left, past the dining table, the exercise area, through the series of glass partitions and hardwood floors that led to the guest room. His owl was nestled in a cushion of velvet on a cabinet's bottom shelf. His climbing gear was shoved under the guest bed. Two pairs of jeans hung in the closet because Alec needed a change of clothes before blazing to work. He sure as hell wasn't going to bounce all the way to his place for a clean pair.

The television flickered again, signaling an hour has passed since Alec burrowed into the couch. Even though Alec knew parts of it was Alec's voice synthesized and spliced into Logan's broadcast, it felt like the minute long hack was Logan talking to him. As if Logan was in the office area behind Alec, earpiece cradled loosely in his left hand and his unaltered voice smoothly speaking into the camera. It was as if the past twenty hours never happened; Alec was still Alec to Logan, Dean to his Heather.

Alec dully watched the unblinking stare, grayed out so no one could see the myriad of colors in Logan's hazel eyes. He closed his eyes and listened and pretended he could hear the subtle sounds of a wheelchair tread rocking on the hardwood floors behind him. Any moment, Logan would finish up, steer for Alec, smiling and touching as if there was no one else he would rather touch.

As Logan's hack droned on, Alec sank into sleep. He absently settled a palm over his own heart, whose ache rivaled the dull throb of his healing knee.

By the time _Eyes Only_ murmured "Peace out", Alec was down for the count.

 

_"Pinocchio."_

_"Hm?"_

_Next to him on the couch, Logan barely stirred. He appeared content to stay on his end of the sofa, his legs covered by the blue fleece, his bare feet propped on the coffee table and Alec using his shoulder as a backrest as he watched the television._

_"I think that's it," Alec announced as he twisted around. He rested his chin on Logan's shoulder. He made a face when Logan only gave him an absentminded scratch behind his left ear._

_"What's it?" Logan mumbled. He carded a hand through Alec's short hair, not realizing he almost poked Alec in the eye._

_Alec scowled. Seriously? He smirked, craned up and blew into Logan's ear._

_With a start, Logan looked up from his laptop, finally diverted from his current bad-guy-of-the-hour. It had been two days of tiny typing. Alec wanted to hide the laptop again, but Logan figured out all his favorite hiding places by now. It was fun rewarding Logan whenever he did do a laptop Eureka, though. It meant the laptop was quickly forgotten as Alec spread Logan open with his tongue and cock._

_Alec gestured towards the television and the colorful images on the screen. Logan said the animation was all hand drawn back then. He spent the first portion of the movie trying to spot flaws. He was blown when he couldn't._

_"Maybe I should change my name to Pinocchio," Alec mused out loud. He rolled the 'chio' to its proper accent. It irked him when he caught the characters mispronouncing it. Granted, they were two-dimensional. But still._

_"Pinocchio?" Logan repeated, stumbling over the last syllable like everyone else. Alec forgave him though because Logan was pretty to look at whenever he screws up his face trying to be verbally accurate._

_"Yup." Alec ended his reply with a little pop. He held his arms up, swinging them by the elbows. He crossed his eyes and let his tongue hang out of his mouth._

_"Look, I'm going to be a real boy!" Alec chortled._

_For some reason, Logan didn't find it funny. He took off his spectacles, blinking as he adjusted to the change in vision._

_"I think you're already real."_

_Alec rolled his eyes, his chuckles fading. Sometimes, Heather can be too serious._

_"You know what I mean." Alec knocked against his chest. "You and I both know I was a paint-by-numbers creation. There was no Tab A and Slot B involved."_

_"Doesn't matter." Logan set aside the laptop. He tugged Alec, grunting when Alec decided flopping over him was much more exciting than watching a whale swallow up a talking puppet._

_"Well. You definitely feel real," Logan wheezed, only half kidding. He scoffed when Alec nipped his chest over his shirt. "Definitely fee—Alec!" Logan sputtered, laughing when Alec attacked his shirt with wet kisses and eager hands._

_"Ooh, you feel real to me too, babe," Alec cooed as he wrestled the t-shirt over Logan's head. It got stuck briefly over Logan's ears, but a quick tug and a tear (oops) fixed that._

_"I'm losing more shirts this way," Logan grumbled as he wiggled to make room for Alec to lie on top of him on the couch._

_"Shirts are stupid," Alec declared. "Stay naked."_

_"I'm sure that will go well when I go out to conduct Eyes Only business."_

_Alec couldn't help it; he growled._

_"Really?" Logan arched an eyebrow, bemused._

_"No one else gets to see you like this." Alec shoved his nose under Logan's jaw. Logan obligingly tipped his head back. He groaned as Alec laved his throat with licks and open-mouthed kisses. He deftly undid Logan's flies, peeling the denim down the other's hips._

_"No one else," Alec snarled into Logan's throat. Logan's Adam's apple bobbed against Alec's cheek as Alec wrestled Logan's jeans and boxers off his legs._

_"Okay," Logan said breathlessly._

_Alec's cock filled. His erection pressed painfully against his own jeans. There was something about having Logan's nude body pinned against Alec's fully clothed one._

_"I like you like this," Alec murmured as he ground his covered erection against the other's exposed stomach. "You always feel real to me."_

_Logan moaned. He curled his hands over Alec's biceps._

_"Always do to me, too," Logan gasped as he bucked, caught between Alec's feverish motions and the couch. He cried out, his cock filling against the rough pulls of Alec's hand._

_"I want to be real for you," Alec panted as he crushed Logan to the couch, his hips snapping into the other. The sofa vibrated under them._

_"You are!" Logan arched his shoulders back. He whimpered as Alec tasted the chest offered to him, his tongue pressing down to crush the sharp silken pelt across the pecs._

_Logan keened as he was devoured, his fingers digging into Alec's biceps, short of drawing blood, body trembling as feeling rose and crested._

_Alec eagerly lapped up the thin stream of come he coaxed out of Logan's cock. He ruthlessly pumped the already softening erection, milking Logan until there was nothing more to give. He then kissed Logan, slipping his tongue into Logan's mouth, sharing the bitter flavor of come. So the other knew his release was tangible in both mind and body._

_Behind them, the movie was drawing to its conclusion with a song in French that made Logan grimace. The other muttered something about being lost in translation. The complaint petered out into a soft exhale when Alec settled closer._

_Logan ran a finger down Alec's back. He traced the edges of Alec's scapulas; his fingers stroked in broad sweeps from Alec's nape to his lower back._

_"You're real to me," Logan murmured. "It doesn't matter how you got here." He dropped a kiss on top of Alec's head. "No one else feels as real as you do."_

_"Even if I'm a Pinocchio?" Alec mumbled. Logan's hands on his back lulled his eyelids to grow heavy._

_"I don't think you were ever anything but a real boy, Alec."_

_Alec sighed deeply against Logan. He mentally shrugged when he heard the movie ending. He hoped this fuzzy, cottony soft feeling in his chest wouldn't end._

_"Sometimes I think you're not real," Alec breathed. He slipped his arms around the solidness against him. "How are you even real, Heather?"_

_The living room grew quiet as the television went dark. The lights outside the windows flickered as yet another brown out intruded. It left everything looking out of focus and surreal._

_Alec mouthed Logan's collar bone. He tattooed Logan's skin with gentle kisses, tapping out all the things he longed to say out loud._

_"It's a good thing you're not actually named Pinocchio," Logan said all of the sudden. "I can't imagine screaming 'Oh God, Pinocchio' during sex."_

_Alec snickered against Logan, against the answering rumble under his cheek. The sensation settled in his heart._

_And that, that felt real._

 

The heat of the morning sun on Alec's face was searing. He winced. He cracked one eye open to see the television on the wall fuzzy with static. He heard there was once a time when there was enough money to run airwaves at all hours. Alec wished today was one of those days; the black and white dots squirming in a frenzy on the screen reminded him too much of Manticore and their Psy-ops displays with their hidden messages.

Alec's eyes felt crusty, swollen as if he had been crying, which was bullshit because he hadn't even cried when he watched from afar Robert Berrisford reaching over to switch off Rac—her ventilator. He had left dry-eyed, albeit hollow, before her heart monitor stuttered once, twice and then flatlined completely. 

A sour taste bubbled up Alec's throat. He coughed over and over until his mind went mercifully blank and it was easier to breathe again.

The morning sun prompted Alec to check his watch, only to remember again that his watch was a shattered loss wrapped around his wrist. He peeled the strap off. Dried blood from his once torn palm stuck to his watch and the inside of his wrist. He tugged harder, wincing at the mild burn as skin pulled. He tossed his watch to the coffee table and faced the television. He stared at the static again instead of dwelling on how much of the blood was from him and how much was Logan's. His eyes burned from the strain of trying to make out any hidden messages. 

Alec tore his gaze away. He considered the penthouse. He studied his boots set down on one end of the couch. 

When Alec's eyes drifted over the dining area for the third time, his face twisted. He should get up, head over, let Lo—him know the hack was done and—

No. He said no.

"Fuck!" Alec leapt up to his feet. He distractedly noticed his knee no longer hurt. His sides no longer throbbed as he swiveled around to stalk barefoot down the length of the living room again. Let's hear it for fast healing. Hip hip fucking hooray.

Alec should go back.

Alec _wanted_ to go back. 

Maybe. 

Alec's fingers twitched ever since Logan's hand had slipped out of Alec's grasp. Alec's skin itched; his clothing all of the sudden felt scratchy against his skin. 

"Guy freaked out over your freaky blood," Alec muttered as he finished another circuit around the furniture. "Big deal. Freaky blood is freaky. _You're_ freaky, 494."

Alec glanced past the couch to the office area. His mind sorted through the jumble of yesterday; memories from before rose unbidden. Alec stopped in his tracks and stared at the workstation. He thought of Logan, sitting here, self-recrimination driving him to knock his legs under the desk. He wasn't just trying to feel them; he was attempting to feel pain.

Another wisp of memory superimposed the first. Alec could see the ghostly images of Logan leaning back into his chair, smiling up to Alec sitting on the edge of one of the desks.

The suffocating vise around Alec's chest eased, but not completely. Logan's assurances, how he responded to Alec's touch and golden ringed green eyes tilted towards Alec kept popping into his mind. 

It didn't make sense. Logan wasn't that good of an actor. Then again, Alec only learned about _Eyes Only_ due to a bad guy getting past Logan's vigilance. His mouth twisted. Logan was a better actor than Alec figured. So when Logan said no…

Alec set his jaw. He looked around him; he thought about the sock on the floor and the bits and pieces Alec left behind.

"That's not it, is it, babe?" Alec murmured as he sank back into the couch. "At least, that's not the only thing." He gazed at the computer area. He spotted the twin mugs left on the workstation. Twin, because Alec complained about cooties when Logan offered his cup once for a taste of whatever magical coffee Logan was apparently addicted to. Logan had pulled out a mug with the faded logo of his alma mater and told Alec the mug was his from now on. 

Alec rested his chin on the back of the couch. He blinked once when he realized he was grinning lopsidedly at the mug from afar. It stood with its loop handle crossing over Logan's. The cups looked like they were embracing; kind of like his lesbian vases. Only better. 

_No._

This time, the denial was in Alec's voice, not Logan's. Because no, Logan got upset over Alec getting cornered by the police (almost) once, getting hit by the car when he gave chase (a tap, really) and when Alec forgot to keep track and let his tryptophan run dangerously low (wasn't even close).

But over a little fancy genetically enhanced blood? 

"What's really going on in that crazy head of yours, Heather?" Alec said out loud. 

Nevertheless, Alec's stomach still roiled at the memory of Logan's _"Not his blood."_

Sighing, Alec ran a hand through his hair. Normal people were so weird at times. He doubted he would ever understand them even if he was Out for _five_ years. Deciphering Logan alone would probably take a decade. 

The boots set under his window beckoned. So did the daylight creeping up higher outside the windows. Alec ignored them both, deciding to pay heed to his grumbling stomach instead. 

Alec wandered into the kitchen. He debated getting the dish of chicken Logan prepped for last night. He stared at the pale yellow skin of uncooked poultry with a lump in his throat. Logan had chopped up some carrots to cook along with the chicken. Logan even made the diced sausage mixture to stuff into the chicken later. A tall bottle of fresh apple juice stood golden in the side door because Alec had once bitched he could find apples, but not juice and how screwed up was that?

Throat tight, Alec swallowed. He wasn't hungry for breakfast. In fact, he wasn't _in the mood_ for roasted chicken either. It was laughable. Alec tried for a chuckle or two; out loud, because yeah, har har, but nothing came out.

_Not his blood. Not his blood…_

"Shut up," Alec muttered to himself. This wasn't Logan's style. The man freaked out over everything but the things he _should_ freak out about (like meeting pervy informants alone past curfew). 

Alec shook his head. No, there was something else going on.

Right?

Alec gulped. He nodded to himself. Logan Cale was a complicated guy with complicated…stuff. The guy was a puzzle. A cute, scruffy puzzle. And 49— _Alec_ was good at puzzles, despite Manticore's square-peg-fucking-goes-in-square-hole-or-else upbringing.

Deep in Alec's gut, however, a twist gnarled his insides. Alec clenched his jaw, but the nausea wouldn't go away. 

Food. Yeah, food will make the up and downward lurch in his stomach leave him alone. It was hard to think clearly when Alec hasn't eaten since breakfast yester—

_Not his blood. Not his bloo—_

Alec shoved a hand into the fridge, moving around the contents with more force than necessary in the search for breakfast. The rattling drowned out the taunting chant in his head.

There was a new jar of anchovies huddled small and rotund next to some of those herbal crackers Logan likes. The biscuits tasted like burnt grass (smelled like it, too). Alec pushed the cartons back. In an afterthought, Alec vetoed the fishies as well. 

The apples looked like they were getting soft and mushy. Alec nudged them away. He dismissed the pears even though they were pale yellow and smelled like honey.

There was also a wall of peanut butter jars, guarding a bundle of celery. Sadly, the celery was starting to wilt, its leafy top limp when Alec shook the stalk. The peanut butter, on the other hand…

Alec's eyes wandered to the jar Logan told him about in the docks. He canted his head as he studied the container. He scoffed as he reached for it. Of all things Heather could have said then—

The jar rattled.

Alec's eyebrow rose. Did peanut butter go bad by fossilization? He hefted the jar. His eyebrow arched higher. It was lighter than it appeared. When he shook it, he could hear the sound of metal banging against each other.

A quick twist confirmed the jar was previously opened, despite the outside looking full and untouched.

Alec took a look inside and discovered a core of the gooey contents was hollowed out, leaving only a thin wall of paste clinging to the jar's walls.

"What the hell?" Alec muttered. He tipped the jar. 

Two flash drives and a tube the size of Alec's pinky tumbled into his palm. They were attached to a key ring. Alec tested the eight in his cupped palm. They clattered together in a way that reminded Alec of Logan's incessant typing into his small laptop. 

A closer inspection of the tube revealed it was a watertight container. There were papers, folded and rolled to the thickness of a cigarette, wedged inside.

Alec coaxed the contents out. The coil unfurled into a ribbon of letters and numbers.

Lips pursed, Alec tested the weight of the flash drives. He held up the strip of paper. His eyes drifted from flash drive to paper, paper to flash drive.

"Okay, _Eyes Only_ ," Alec muttered. "Tag I'm it, I guess. So who's your newest bad guy of the week?"

Breakfast was forgotten; Alec turned on his heels and headed back for the computers.

 

Sung started, going for his gun before he truly woke up.

Alec blinked back at him. He rocked on his toes at the edge of the chair across from Sung. 

"Nice hack," Sung whispered by way of greeting. He stretched carefully. Hospital chairs were never meant for sleeping. The chair under Sung creaked, the bolts that attached it to the wall with the others, jiggled.

Alec shrugged one shoulder. "He did most of the work. I just pushed a couple of buttons." He eyed the inscription on the shut door behind Sung. 

"Prenatal unit?"

"No windows," Sung explained. He straightened up in his chair. He shot Alec a blistering look when Alec easily unwound to slouch into his own chair.

"We moved most of the equipment in there to block the side doors. And there's a nurse in this ward who'll monitor his vitals." At Alec's frown, Sung added, "She used to work in the cardiac ward. Dr. Carr felt she knows what she's doing and would be discrete."

Alec stared at the door. His throat worked.

Sung studied Alec. "Logan's fine."

Alec flinched at Logan's name. "Oh. Good. Great."

Sung sat back, his arms folded. Lips pursed, the detective didn't bother hiding his scrutiny.

"What?"

Sung's jaw flexed. His arms lowered, only to go up again to cross in front of him. 

Alec grimaced. He scratched the armrest with his thumbnail.

"Yeah," Alec said lamely. "I know. I told you I was going to come back. I, uh…" He shrugged. "I didn't."

Sung still said nothing, but Alec felt the guy's stare boring down on him. Usually, Alec would lock gazes with him, say something that would break the intensity and make Sung eye roll. But the flash drives sat in his jacket pocket as heavy and large as the growing knot in Alec's throat. 

"I know it was a dick move blazing out like that," Alec fumbled on, "But I—there were…stuff, you know. I needed to—anyway, I'm here now, all right?"

"He tried to leave to go after you, you know."

Alec's eyes snapped to Sung. "What?"

"Kept demanding for his chair until Original Cindy took it out of the room." Sung's mouth twisted. "Then the doctor sedated him because his blood pressure kept doing things he didn't like."

Alec wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh, frown or do something else (what, he wasn't sure). He wiped a palm over his mouth.

"Oh," Alec rubbed his neck until he caught Sung looking. He dropped his hand, out of habit. "He just…I sort of left kind of…it was just weird, all right? But it's fine now."

Sung's brow furrowed. "Good. I think." 

Alec picked the edge of the chair he balanced on. 

"So everything's fine now?" Sung pressed.

"Sure," Alec muttered. "Dandy."

Sung fell quiet. The wide corridor that cut through the pre-natal ward hummed with various sounds of monitors and the nurses' soft yet squeaky rubber soles. 

Alec wished Sung would stop staring at him like…whatever, something, like an experiment, like he was trying to decide if Alec was a bad dollar bill or not, whatever. Sung never looked at him like that before. His stomach roiled under the scrutiny.

"What?" Alec meant for it to come out sharper than it did. The question ended up sounding feeble to Alec's ears.

"Phil was upset," Sung finally said. "Didn't even eat the burrito he brought over this morning with my gyro." Sung cleared his throat. "Understandably, witnessing something like that happen to someone you know. It's a shock—"

"It's not that," Alec cut in before Sung's awkward attempt at "I'm okay, you're okay, little buddy" pep talk continued. His hands flapped weakly in front of him. "It's not, not just that." His face contorted to what he hoped was a reassuring smile. 

"So," Alec muttered. He peered up at Sung. "He's really all right now? He's not going to die on us or anything, right?"

"Doctor said Logan could be released in three days."

A knot unraveled inside Alec's chest. He nodded again, unsure of what else he should do.

"You can go in to see him, you know."

Alec balked. "No, I don't want to wake him. The guy needs his beauty rest—I know he's already pretty to look at, but that doesn't exclude him from, uh, sleep." 

Sung studied Alec with little expression. His dark eyes narrowed a fraction then eased the longer they looked.

Alec fought the urge to squirm. 

"He's still sedated," Sun said, "You won't wake him."

"Oh. Right." Alec clutched the armrests of his chair. "So uh, I'm going in then." He forced his fingers to straighten out one by one. He peeled his palms off the armrests. He took a deep breath.

Sung's brow knitted. "You sure everything's all right?" 

Alec nodded silently. He rose to his feet. He pointed his thumb towards the door. Sung nodded, his eyes on Alec rather than the door.

Stomach churning, throat tightening, Alec entered the room.

 

_The purple thing sitting next to Logan's toothbrush took him by surprise._

_"Uh…" Alec lifted the cup, but his green bristly thing didn't rattle inside it._

_"Dude." Alec stuck his head out the en-suite door and held up the cup. "What is wrong with this picture?"_

_Logan, on his perch at the edge of the bed, paused mid-shimmy into his sweats._

_"Hm?" Logan flicked his eyes over to the cup. "Oh, that's yours."_

_Alec blinked at the purple oddity. It was tipped with a full head of bristles. They stood straight, with a row of blue spines down the middle._

_"Uh no, I had the green one." Alec gave the purple stick a poke. It spun in the cup and stopped, facing Alec bristle up._

_Logan made a face. He grunted as he shifted his hips left and right to continue to slide the gray pants up. His pelvis rolled back and forth in a smooth rocking motion; Alec's brain briefly fizzled as he watched. He shook out of his reverie when he realized Logan was still talking._

_"…was getting a delivery from the pharmacy so I thought I might as well get one for you too." Logan hesitated. One pants leg was bunched up around a bare knee._

_"That was okay, wasn't it?" Logan suddenly appeared uncertain. "I thought you might want another one. I mean, for when you're here."_

_Alec contemplated the toothbrush. He nudged the purple toothbrush. He thought about the green one he first found sitting quietly next to Logan's._

_"I liked that green one," Alec mourned. He gave the cup a shake. The two toothbrushes chased each other inside its round arena._

_"You're supposed to be changing toothbrushes every six months."_

_"With what they charge? Try every six years. Besides, I don't think we get cavities." Alec's lips twisted ruefully. "Thanks, though."_

_"I'll switch that out for a green one next time," Logan offered._

_Alec stilled. When he tore his eyes away from the cup, he found Logan staring back at him wide-eyed, having heard himself. Without his eyeglasses, Logan looked startled, painfully unsure._

_Logan dragged his gaze away and stared hard at his legs as he yanked his sweats with more force than necessary over his thighs._

_Alec brushed a thumb over the stiff synthetic spines. He caught himself grinning at the purple thing. It wasn't too bad._

_"Sue," Alec said casually even though he felt anything but. "Next time." At Logan's soft intake, Alec met Logan's unblinking gaze._

_"Next time," Logan echoed. He dropped his eyes, his mouth curved in a small curl. It wound a ribbon of warmth in Alec's chest just by looking at it._

_Alec leaned against the bathroom door frame. He leered at Logan._

_"Want me to help you out of those pants, Heather?"_

_"Alec. I'm trying to put them_ on _."_

_"Eh. Semantics."  
_

 

"Where do you think you're going?"

Alec waited until Logan wrapped shaky fingers on the rail and pulled himself up before he speaks. He knew Logan couldn't see him: not without his eyeglasses, probably still doped up in painkillers and with the room in darkness.

Logan lifted his head, his jaw as scruffy as ever. In the dark, the unshaven jaw left him looking drawn and bruised.

"A'ec?" Logan squinted into the shadows. He held onto the bedrail with both hands.

"Hey."

Logan huffed. He sagged forward as if the exhale deflated him.

Alec levered from the chair he was only now able to contort himself into. Alec reached the bed in a single step, arms around Logan's shoulders as soon as he was within reach. He stood close to the bed, the rails digging into his hip.

The room seemed to quiet while Alec held Logan. Logan's head rested against Alec's chest; his hands still curled tightly on the railing even though there was zero chance Alec would let him fall.

Slowly, Logan's hands unfurled from their death grip. They drifted down to the back of Alec's thighs, lingered on his healed knee. Logan fumbled to find Alec's hand on his shoulder.

"I'm all right," Alec murmured. With each searching touch, the weight in Alec's chest—the one he ignored since Logan first roused—lightened. 

"My knee's fine. My hand's good." Alec wiggled his hand in front of Logan. "See? Or were you just looking for an excuse to grope me? If so, ignore me and molest away."

Logan exhaled shakily. His hands slipped back around Alec's middle. Alec felt Logan's hands weave together and rest against his lower back. Yet, he didn't feel trapped. It felt like something was sliding into place, a pick slipping into the correct notch, tumblers clicking, sliding, unlocking. Something _clicked_ when Logan's arms closed the circle around Alec. Suddenly, Alec was angry at himself for wasting all those hours, wasting all that thinking, when he could have been here instead.

Alec dropped a kiss on Logan's head. He squashed down the shudder when all he could smell was medicine, the metallic tang of filtered oxygen and dried blood.

"Now where did you think you were going before?" Alec murmured. He ghosted a palm over Logan's hair again and again.

"Canada," Logan shakily said.

Alec raised a brow and considered the top of Logan's head. He couldn't tell if Logan was kidding or not; it sounded like it was a little bit of both.

"Canada?" Alec's fingers combed the unruly bangs away from Logan's eyes. They were clumped with dried sweat and limp; even Logan's hair felt sick.

"I thought we agreed we were going up there together," Alec reminded Logan.

Logan's arms briefly tightened around Alec. He didn't look up.

Alec's brow dropped into a furrow. "You think we need to head across the border?"

"No. I thought…" Logan made a sound, muffled against Alec. Logan's arms eased their vise around Alec but didn't let go.

"Sorry," Logan laughed humorlessly. "Thought it was going to be déjà vu again."

"Huh?"

"Nothing." Logan fell silent after that.

Alec felt Logan's breathing stir against his stomach, warm and slow as if evening out for sleep. He curled a hand around the back of Logan's neck and kept the other man close to his body; close enough to feel Logan breathe against him.

"So how you're feeling?" Alec murmured after a few minutes. Logan still leaned heavily on him; Alec wasn't feeling inclined to move either.

"Pretty good, considering," Logan mumbled into Alec's stomach.

"Well, the doc did hook you up to the good stuff." Alec gave the IV bags with a small frown. A lot of good stuff, in fact. "Antibiotics. Some sort of vitamin cocktail. Hey, even morphine. Post Pulse. Good year, too." 

Logan scoffed. He still; his voice returned hesitantly.

"Or…Must be all this supercharged Manticore blood I got in me."

Alec wanted to say something. Maybe volley a joke back in the face of Logan's feeble attempt. Instead, he said nothing. He only dropped another kiss into Logan's hair.

Logan's breathing stuttered. Behind him, monitors chimed a warning, but Logan held on even when Alec tried to set him back down. He buried his face into the worn folds of Alec's shirt.

"I…I thought I would wake up again to…" Logan's voice cracked. "Alec…Before…"

"It's okay," Alec murmured. 

Logan looked like he wanted to sit up higher on the hospital bed. Alec had visions of monitors flashing, stitches popping and skin paling. 

"It's okay," Alec reached around and pried Logan's hands off the side. He stooped down, kissed each reaching grasp as he eased Logan back onto the bed. "It doesn't matter. Sh. Lie back."

As soon as Alec said it, Alec heard the truth in it. It really didn't matter. Whatever Logan feared hadn't translated to how Logan acted and treated Alec. New toothbrushes, gentle touches and kisses didn't add up to Logan wanting nothing to do with 49—no, _Alec_. And the flash drives in Alec's pockets? Well, it was a bonus. A bonus Alec wasn't sure he deserved, but sure as hell was going to try his hardest to earn. Or die trying. 

Logan clawed Alec's neckline, tugging him lower. Alec bent down close enough to see Logan's hazel eyes bleach to brown and gray with drug laced panic.

"It's okay," Alec murmured. He stroked a hand over Logan's brow. "Don't worry about it. It's all right."

"No. Be'ore… _Alec_. I—"

"Later. We'll talk about it later when you're less loopy. Okay? You look like you got the whole pink elephants and flying pigs thing going on. Sh. It's cool, babe. Go back to sleep," Alec whispered. He kept brushing a palm over Logan's brow. He reached behind him and dragged the chair closer. 

Logan visibly fought the heavy drag of his eyes. He kept one hand twisted around Alec's neckline.

Alec kissed Logan's nose. He kissed Logan's cracked lips, still mouthing and shaping Alec's name.

"'ere," Logan slurred. The demand was clear despite the garble.

"Here," Alec agreed. He untangled Logan's fist from his shirt. He felt lightheaded when Logan's hand turned to grasp Alec's, holding tight.

Even though it was dark, Alec could see Logan staring blearily towards Alec's direction. 

Alec dragged the chair even closer. He set their combined fists down, over Logan's stomach. The stretch on Alec's shoulder was awkward and was going to be a hell of a lot more awkward hours later, but Alec mentally shrugged it all away when Logan sighed.

"Right here," Alec whispered. He gave their clasped hands a squeeze. "Get some sleep. And don't drool. They charge you for that."

Logan sleepily snorted.

"I'm serious. When those nurses come in later to fluff your pillows and change your bandages—don't ask for Claire, she has huge man hands—they're going to take one look at your dripping wet pillow and charge you a penalty."

Logan muttered something unintelligible; Alec caught the corners of Logan's mouth tick up.

"I should warn them, Heather; you nearly drown me every night with your drooling. And the snoring? Geez."

"I don't snore," Logan mumbled or, at least, that's what it sounded like.

"What's that? I can't hear you. Hearing loss from all that repetitive train horns blaring in my ear." Alec snickered when Logan grumbled under his breath. It was again unintelligible, but clearly impolite. Naughty, naughty, Heather.

Alec's mouth crooked into a smile. He lowered his voice to a coaxing one.

"Go back to sleep," Alec whispered. Logan's hand in his grip twitched. Alec smoothed his thumb over Logan's wrist bones. He wished they didn't feel so fragile. He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat.

"A'ec…" Logan was fading fast. "'ere."

"Hell, yeah, babe. Wouldn't be anywhere else."

 

_The monitors lie._

_The heart rate and blood pressure registered as normal. Respiration was even, pumped regularly by a machine. It read normal._

_Heart beat. Normal._

_BP. Normal._

_Temperature. Normal._

_Respiration. Normal._

_There was nothing normal about this._

_"S-simon?"_

_His targ—no, Berrisford's incredulous voice pulled him from his thoughts. He glanced back down at the alabaster face, her once long silken brown hair shorn short so the surgeons could drill a hole in the back of her skull to reduce the swelling._

_It didn't help. They cut all her hair and it didn't help. A stranger lay on the bed now._

_"Are you here to finish the job?"_

_There were tears in the voice hard with defiance yet unsteady with grief._

_He turned around and stared at the father's face._

_Berrisford somehow aged dramatically during the three months Ra—she laid emptied and composed in her own private room. The father's mouth was lined, unsmiling and his eyes that once sparkled every time he gazed upon Ra—his daughter, were now dull._

_"You know." He wished he didn't sound so flat. Berrisford flinched at the tone. The older man lifted his chin a beat later._

_"When we couldn't find you after the…the bombing, I had someone look into you." Berrisford's eyes flared in a brief burst of fury, but those eyes stared past 494 to the bed and they dimmed into dead coals again._

_"Simon Lehane isn't real."_

_There was no triumph in the reveal. Not for Berrisford. He announced it as a death sentence. Three months ago, it would have been._

_"They sent you here to kill me. You got my daughter instead."_

_"She's not dead," he said despite himself._

_"Not yet," Berrisford rasped. "But the doctors…she wouldn't want this."_

_He thought of her smiling in a pool sparkling blue, green light. He thought of her laughing as her fingers fumbled through the B flat scale._

_"No," he said, subdued, "she wouldn't." He wasn't sure why he said it. It wasn't in her profile or mission prep. There was no indication of whether she would choose—_

_"I told her to run," he said abruptly. He kept his eyes on her, to see if she would react, twitch or fight the ventilating tube thrust down her throat. But like before, three months, ninety two days or two thousand two hundred and eight hours, she didn't move. The last time she ever moved towards him was when she had slapped him._

_"She did run," Berrisford choked. "To me."_

_He closed his eyes and nodded._

_"I should kill you."_

_He nodded again._

_"Why did you tell her to run?"_

_He shrugged._

_"That's it? That's all you can tell me? How can you even—Is Simon even your real name?"_

_"494," he said absently._

_"What? Four nin—that's not a name!"_

_He tore his gaze away from the bed. He stared at Berrisford blankly._

_Berrisford's face contorted. He covered his face with a palm._

_"God," the older man muttered. "Monsters."_

_He nodded again._

_"I wasn't talking about yo—" Berrisford shook his head. He considered 494. "What are you going to do?" His face crumbled. "Finish your mission? Kill me? Kill her? It's moot, isn't it? She's dying. Once she's gone, I'll feel dead."_

_"I…" He stopped. He turned back to the bed. The monitors beeped, chimed and lied that the attached body lived._

_"I told her to run," he repeated._

_"Again. I ask you: why?"_

_"I don't know," he said, small. "I disobeyed orders. I don't know why." He stared at her hands. Burns mangled once graceful tips. She had touched his face with those hands, but it hadn't hurt._

_"You tried to save her. Us." Berrisford, for some reason, no longer sounded angry. "You left."_

_"Yes."_

_"But you didn't go back?" Berrisford didn't understand._

_He frowned, struggling to find the words._

_"No. I didn't go back." He wondered why Berrisford looked at him like he would the shell on the bed. He turned completely towards the father. "But I didn't leave anything."_

_Berrisford choked out a laugh. 494 wasn't sure what was funny. "You failed your mission."_

_He winced and averted his eyes._

_"And you still don't understand why? I understand, and that's the difference between you and me. God, I…I wished she never met you, but…at least…" Berrisford squeezed his eyes shut._

_"I like her," he whispered._

_"And that's why you told her to run," Berrisford croaked. "That's why you disobeyed orders." He smiled faintly when 494 looked up again with wide eyes._

_"And that's why you should be the one to run now."_

 

Green eggs or funny smelling milk? 

Alec considered the breakfast tray a nurse had left on the pull out table. A note scrawled _'Dean'_ was stuck on one of the dark navy lids covering the plates. He contemplated the suspiciously lukewarm milk and cold coffee bookending a covered bowl of green tinged scrambled eggs while Logan slept. He heard Logan stirring in the bed. He felt Logan's fingers twitching in Alec's grip; he didn't let go even after he woke up from his face down position slumped over the side of Logan's bed.

Hands still clasped together on Logan's stomach; Alec twisted around to debate which food he was going to eat first.

"You're here."

Logan sounded relieved, which made the insides of Alec's gut squirm uncomfortably. Alec kept his eyes on the tray. He frowned at the cup of chopped fruit drowning in syrup next to the little carton of milk. He wasn't sure if he was intrigued or grossed out by it.

"Morning," Alec said casually to the flatware bundled within the paper napkin on the tray. He carefully wiggled his grip free.

Logan's hand squeezed tighter around Alec's hand before letting go. 

"Ew," Alec whined. He shook his hand in the air. "My hand's all sweaty." He made a show of wiping his palm on Logan's blanket, but inside, his stomach flip flopped. "Gross, just for that, I'm eating on top of your be—"

"It wasn't you; it was me." 

Alec lowered his hand.

"Wow," Alec chuckled or tried. The words lodged in his throat made everything sound wrong to his ears. "Not you…that was either really cliché or really sad, babe." Alec plucked out the Styrofoam cup of coffee; he might as well rescue Logan from bad caffeine, too. 

Logan paused, apparently trying to catch up. He squinted as Alec slid the thick framed backup lens over his eyes. He blinked myopically. A moment later, he huffed. 

"That did sound pretty bad." Logan smiled tightly as Alec raised the bed higher. Logan pushed his frames higher on his nose. "You would think as a writer, I could think of something better."

"Well, you were shot. Your creativity could be taking a backseat to your healing." Alec took a noisy slurp of the confiscated coffee, made a face and pulled the cup away from his gaping mouth.

"Although, your healing would take a backseat from _this_. Yikes." Alec glared into the black brew. "I think this was made before _I_ was made."

"Hospital food." Logan grimaced. "One thing even the Pulse couldn’t manage to make worse."

Alec gagged. "Seriously?" He turned around on his perch at the side of the bed and faced Logan completely. He rubbed his thumb over Logan's knuckles. "I think we could give you some leniency. For getting shot and all."

"You're too good to me."

Alec paused because it wasn't as glib as he thought it should come out. Logan sounded husky, warm, the small smile Alec sometimes caught Logan giving him was clear. It compelled Alec to sober before replying.

"Nah. I'm not good enough." Alec kissed Logan's mouth before the other could reply. 

Logan's lips were cracked due to the too dry oxygen from his face mask. He had kept pulling it off his mouth during the night until Doc, groggy from his nap between shifts, said it was okay to leave it off. 

Alec handed over a cup of ice chips. They were waiting another day before deeming it safe to ply Logan with liquids or solids.

Tiny crunching took over the silence. Alec absently brushed his hand through Logan's hair again.

"Think I can convince the Doc to let me give you a sponge bath?" Alec said lightly. He ran a knuckle down the line of Logan's jaw. "You're looking a little shaggy too."

"I have to shave twice a day," Logan grumbled. His eyes, however, were fixed on Alec. 

"Alec—"

"Mm, I don't mind a little hair on your chest, but a beard is not sexy, you know." Alec pretended to shudder. "Once, I got a blow job from a guy with a full on beard and you with that morning scruff is sexy as hell, but aw man, a beard against your dick? To get a beard burn there is like—"

" _Alec_."

Alec shook his head. "Don't." His grimace stretched across his face. "It's okay."

Logan breathed out sharply. He winced. His breathing hitched, but he shook his head when Alec tensed. 

Alec cast a look at the monitors. He bit his lower lip because monitors never tell him the important stuff. "Forget it. It's okay."

"No, it isn't."

The beeping picked up a little. Something cinched tight in Alec's chest. He darted a look at the door. He wondered how loud he would have to holler for a doctor.

"Alec, what I said yesterday…it didn't come out right. It wasn't because—it's cliché, damn it, but it really _was_ me, not you."

The heart monitor blipped frantically, leveled out and then the numbers went up again.

Alec wrapped his hands around Logan's wrists.

"All right," Alec soothed.

"It wasn't about your blood—no, in a way, yes, bu—no, I meant—"

Alec leaned forward and kissed Logan again. He swallowed the words; he swallowed Logan's distress. 

Behind them, the monitors quieted back to a steady rhythm. 

Alec rested his forehead against Logan's. He cradled Logan's face. He wished Logan didn't smell so alien: like medicine, soap and the metallic tang of copper. He wished he could curl up around Logan and let Logan's heartbeat lull him to sleep.

"I know," Alec murmured as he stroked Logan's temples. "Sh. I know, babe. I know it's not because of how I'm wired. I know you're not grossed out by me."

"Never," Logan said immediately.

Alec cracked a smile at that. He dropped a kiss at the corner of Logan's mouth.

Logan sighed.

"You okay now?" Alec whispered. "No more trying to get out of bed? Because you got one of those open back gowns on. Your cute butt is hanging out of those and I gotta say: I don't like to share."

A suspiciously watery snort replied.

Alec turned Logan's wrists up. He surveyed the IVs that pierced the skin.

"Fuck, I hate these things," Alec said with more feeling than he intended. "I hate to see them on you."

"Good drugs," Logan mumbled. "Post Pulse. Good year."

Alec smirked. "Guess you weren't as loopy as I thought you were last night." He slipped an arm around Logan's shoulders. "But you need to lie back. Even superheroes need a nap."

Logan lay back on the bed, quietly crunching on more ice chips. Occasionally, his eyes wandered to where Alec was, his chair pulled up close, his feet crossed at the ankles and on Logan's bedrails. 

The little monitor perched on a shelf was running basketball with the volume off. Alec mused Mrs. Moreno probably has it on again while she knitted a new scarf because she forgot she already made one for Alec. Despite it almost being summer.

Alec left his hand on Logan's bed, his eyes on the game. He was aware of the heat of Logan's hand a hair's breadth close to his. He sensed Logan's hand curling and uncurling into a fist.

After a few moments, the tiny munching sounds quieted. 

"Max."

Logan's throat sounded rough as if he hasn't been sucking on cups of melting ice chips just now. He stumbled over the syllable like it was four.

Alec waited, unsure what there was to say to that or if Logan was even ready to hear it. He rubbed a hand carefully on the unhurt skin on Logan's arm. And waited.

At first, Alec thought Logan fell asleep, but a low exhale dispelled that hope.

"The past surgery I told you about? Bleeding out? The transfusion? Max gave me that. Before...leaving."

Alec wrapped a hand carefully around Logan's wrist. He wondered when Logan would stop feeling so brittle. 

"A month later, I felt something." Logan paused. "In my legs."

Alec stilled. 

Logan's voice dropped to a whisper.

"Sam thinks the blood healed the damage in my spine due to the—"

"Stem cells," Alec breathed. He suddenly felt lightheaded. "Shit, we have that stuff floating around in our genetic soup all the time." He sat on the edge of the bed. His heart hammered against his ribs. Christ, why didn't he think of it sooner?

"It's why we could heal so fast. It's why— _Babe_ , that means—" Alec stopped.

Logan smiled tightly. His eyes were dull, as dead as the first time Alec met him.

"This is good. Right?" Alec asked tentatively. "The stem cells in my blood? Your legs?" 

A shadow flickered across Logan's face. So fast, Alec thought he imagined it.

"Or not." Logan gestured towards his legs. "I…there's no guarantee I'll have the same effects." He closed his eyes briefly. "When I heard what you did for me. Last time it happened, when I woke up—"

"Max blazed out of here for Canada." A flare rose up Alec's gut. 

"It was for the best."

"Was it?" Alec blurted out before he could stop himself. He caught Logan's flinch. Alec squashed down the snarl that wanted to bubble up his throat. He sighed. He shuffled closer, as close as he dared. He cupped Logan's jaw.

"You know what? It _was_ for the best," Alec murmured. "For me."

Logan's mouth twisted. 

"And this thing? My blood? You could walk again."Alec's fingertips smoothed over the lines at the corners of Logan's eyes. 

Logan said nothing. He dropped his head onto Alec's shoulder and nodded.

Alec wrapped an arm around Logan's shoulders. He tugged the covers higher over Logan; he felt the trembling.

"I mean—if this works…you…this is good." Alec wove their fingers together.

"This is good," Logan echoed.

The grip in Alec's grasp, however, was ice cold.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this is a sexless filler.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Alec looked up from his scrutiny of the dinner tray. It was brought in with another post-it that read ' _Dean_.' 

"You're up," Alec said needlessly. He coaxed Logan to take a nap after their talk. He had felt the trembling against him as if it was winter again and a window was left wide open for a certain X-5 to slip through. He tucked Logan in, sat down and watched cartoons on the tiny monitor with the volume off and his toes tucked under Logan's blanket. Every so often, he turned his gaze to Logan's sleeping profile because watching him breathe further unwound the knot in his chest. Gradually, the tightness he didn't realize was there soothed away completely.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Logan repeated. He sounded calm, a little too calm for Alec's liking. 

Alec tore his eyes away from the covered plates. He turned off the small television and twisted around to meet Logan's bleary eyes.

"I figured you have enough to worry about with the not dying and stuff," Alec said quietly. He wanted to take Logan's hands, but he didn't want to feel Logan possibly pulling his hands away either. 

"I thought the last thing you needed," Alec continued, "was to hear about your cousin as well." His brow furrowed. "Wait. How _did_ you find out?"

Logan cautiously gestured towards the television that hung at the corner. "Phil was keeping me company when I came to after Sam had sedated me." He scowled at the memory. "He turned on the television to distract me and well…" He grimaced faintly. 

"Death in one of the wealthiest post Pulse families is big news. People are more interested in that than whatever corruption _Eyes Only_ has uncovered." 

"Sorry," Alec fumbled. "I just…you know…" He shrugged. The apology sounded lame in his ears.

"I know." Sheets shifted as Logan adjusted his bed higher so he could sit up. "I wish you told me instead of me finding out from some stranger on the news, though." 

Alec winced. His eyes slid sideways.

"Alec."

A hand skimmed Alec's lower back. Alec raised his heavy head. Logan gazed back with a sad twist of his mouth.

"Actually," Alec admitted. His eyes slid away. "At the time, I was more concerned with…" He locked his eyes with Logan. After a beat, Alec broke gazes. "So…yeah…I'm not really sorry I vetoed anyone from telling you." He scrubbed his face with his hands. "Can I be sorry about that?"

"I get it. I don't like it, but I get what you were trying to do for me." Logan briefly squeezed Alec's reaching hand. He didn't pull away. Rather, he wove them together and set their clasp in the space between them. 

Alec wanted to draw Logan's hand to his lips and kiss each knuckle. But he was worried about tugging too hard. His gaze kept drifting over to where he knew a healing bullet hole marred Logan's left shoulder. He wanted to ghost his lips over it as well. If he wasn't looking at Logan's shoulder, his eyes were drawn to the heavily wrapped thigh or the marks yet to fade from Logan's throat instead.

Hastily, Alec's eyes shifted to stare at Logan's mouth. It seemed to be the only thing left unscathed.

"From what they're saying, a hoverdrone malfunctioned."

"That's one way to put it." Alec hesitated. "Want me to get you the full police report?"

Logan stared blankly at the television even though it wasn't on. 

Alec chewed his lower lip. "Hey," he called softly. He brushed a finger down Logan's jaw. The skin felt scratchy. Logan needed a shave.

Logan abruptly sucked in his breath before releasing it slowly.

"No," Logan said heavily, "You and I both know there wasn't any malfunction." He exhaled harshly through his teeth. "I didn't think my uncle would actually kill his own so—I thought I knew him better than that."

"You were right about your cousin." Alec fumbled out the paper he had tucked in with the flash drives. He paused as his fingers brushed over them in his pocket. Mentally, Alec shook his head. Now was not the time. 

"He was one of the good guys. He sent over some of the field test videos they took." Alec unfolded the note and passed it over to Logan. 

With a soft grunt, Logan unfolded the message and read it.

"Your uncle's a dick," Alec said, "but not that big of a dick to have his own flesh and blood killed. Especially like that. I don't think you were wrong about your uncle. Could be a silent partner, after all. You did suspect one. Your cousin did, too."

"I only wish I figured out who it was before he or she did this." Logan repeatedly refolded and opened the note again. He exhaled unsteadily as he crumpled the note in his fist. His face contorted and he settled a hand on his left shoulder. He made a face.

Alec tamped down the well of panic because he knew the last thing Logan wanted right now is Alec running out of the room, even if it was to drag a doctor in here.

"You okay?"

Logan gave a funny laugh. "Depends on what you're asking about."

"The gazillion holes in your body. Your cousin. The fact _Cale Industries_ is about to be charged into the biggest shitstorm since the Pulse." Alec gulped down the sudden lump in his throat. "Or the science fiction blood I swapped with you in a non-sexy way."

Logan's mouth twisted. It wasn't clear if he was trying for a smile or a frown. 

"Babe." Alec sat down on the edge of the bed. He rested one arm across the head rail. His other arm draped over Logan's stomach. He was careful to avoid the bandages, his eyes glued to Logan's face for any sign of pain.

Alec rubbed his palm over Logan's stomach. The warmth he felt through the hospital scrub top was reassuring.

"If you need…" Alec dropped his eyes; he bit his lower lip. "I don't leave tracks." He felt the subtle dip of Logan's navel through the thin top. Suddenly, it wasn't hard to offer at all. 

"Anyone, anything. Just say the word."

Logan looked pained. "Alec…"

"I'll tear down things for you. What they did to you…Logan, I would burn down the heart of _everything_ —"

Logan's hand slipped over Alec's on his stomach.

Alec's rising fury boiling under his skin suddenly fizzled. He blinked numbly at their hands. He lifted his gaze to Logan.

This time, it was clearly a smile, albeit a tiny one.

"I would prefer if you don't go anywhere." Logan stroked the inside of Alec's wrist. "And I would prefer if you don't do anything." Logan's head rolled carefully on the pillows until he faced Alec. Alec leaned in closer; Logan kissed Alec's shirt where his ribs lay underneath. 

"Thank you, though. I know how hard it was to offer," Logan said softly. He brushed his mouth over Alec's shirt. He was only able to reach Alec's torso, but Alec felt it throughout his entire body.

"Not as hard as you think." Alec curled closer to the heat of Logan's mouth. "You sure?" 

"Don't go anywhere," Logan murmured.

Alec lowered his head. He nuzzled the stiff scrub top on a spot above where their hands lay. 

"I can do that." Alec dropped kisses up Logan's stomach, the middle of his sternum, the slight dip of muscles playing across ribs.

Alec stopped when his lips brushed across the raised impression of a bandage. He retreated. He felt Logan's gaze tracking him as he eased down into his chair again.

"They uh…" Alec waved towards the tray of food on the pull out table. 

Logan's head sank back on the pillows Alec had _borrowed_ from the other rooms. He seemed to only notice now, eyebrow twitching as he cautiously moved to feel the mound behind him. The corner of his mouth quirked.

"There's only one tray here." Alec squinted at it. "I could always sneak in Chinese."

"I'm not eating it and knowing the hospital, they'll bill me for it anyway. Help yourself." Logan paused at Alec's frown. "No solids, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Right." Alec lifted up the cover. "Although solids might be a generous name for it." He took a tentative sniff. "Creamed corn over chicken. And some kind of pasta salad? They kind of look all right." He poked at the pale yellow, rubbery looking topping. He stuck his finger in his mouth. He made a face.

"The creamed corn tastes like wax, though. Is it supposed to taste like that? The one you made last time was way better."

Logan made a face as well. "There are some good points to my situation after all."

Alec pulled away from the tray.

"There's _nothing_ good about this." 

Alec didn't mean to snap. The words felt acrid leaving his mouth. 

Logan's wry smile faded. His eyes seemed to cloud over as they lingered on Alec's face.

"I'm going to be all right, Alec. I have help, remember?" Logan lightly tapped two fingers over the bluish vein on his inner elbow. 

Alec ducked his head. He felt a flush crawling up his neck. He wasn't quite sure what to do about it.

"Yeah, well…" Alec stammered. The urge to burrow against Logan or have Logan against him was overwhelming; it was physically hard to breathe around it. He cleared his throat.

"So," Alec said a little too loudly. "No stealthy stuff for you. Gotcha. But the hack…"

"It did the job. The news, when they weren't busy broadcasting the 'tragedies of the prominent Cale family', reported our government standing up to take notice." Logan sagged back into the pillows, deflated. He looked weary but otherwise calm.

"By tomorrow, all assets of _Cale Industries_ would be frozen as our government investigates."

"Not _all_ of it." Oops, Alec hadn't meant to say it out loud. Or sound that smug.

Logan slanted Alec a look. He shook his head; his lips curved small and knowing.

"And did you transfer what was exactly in the trust fund?"

Alec wolfishly grinned. "There may have been a rate of compensation taken into consideration."

" _Alec_."

"Hey, if they didn't use us as targeting practice, I might have been less grabby. But…" Alec's voice whittled to a whine.

"They broke my ride, man. I finally saved up enough to get it painted next week. Sketchy knew a girl who knew a guy who knew a guy who does awesome rims." He paused.

"Although, target practice is not accurate. Not exactly." Alec carefully watched Logan's face. "Looked like they were running down the early releases to test and fine tune their facial recognition software. We were those things' first real mission."

Logan darkened. "If the hoverdrones did learn to correctly pick out their targets, _Cale Industries_ would have created the perfect killing machine."

Alec opened his mouth to point out to Logan that Manticore already did create the perfect killing machine. But Logan dragged a slitted look over to Alec and Alec's glib remark died before it left his lips. 

Logan cleared his throat.

"When I saw the hack you made, Bennett's death didn't sink in yet." Logan shot Alec a rueful look. "All I could think about was that you weren't back. I tried to convince Phil to get my chair. He got Sam instead and he put something in my IV and before I knew it…" 

Alec scratched his jaw. He squirmed in his seat. "Yeah, about that…remember how I used to jump to conclusions?" He rubbed his palms against his jeans to erase the sensation of punching through tempered class; he scrubbed his palms clean of the ghostly itch to hurt. The accusation Logan was Lydecker's bitch was still sour in the back of his throat.

"But you came back," Logan murmured. He blinked hard, for some reason. "You came back."

"And _you_ were going to go to Canada. Without me," Alec grumbled. He flicked at Logan's nose. "Not cool, Heather."

"To go after you."

Alec blinked. "Oh." He grinned goofily. "Yeah? Ditch it all to go chase my cute ass?" 

Logan didn't roll his eyes like Alec thought he would. He looked at Alec seriously and said, "Yes."

Alec's smirk faded. The sensation of warmth bloomed in his chest and tendrils traveled down to his fingers and toes.

"You thought I ran, yet you were going to run after me?" Alec wanted to gather Logan up against him. 

"I couldn't stay behind. Not like…I…" Logan hesitated. Pink tipped his ears. "I couldn't see myself waking up without you one more day."

Screw it. Alec squirmed closer. He gingerly tugged Logan to his chest. He dropped his chin on top of Logan's head. He found he couldn't get his throat to work. 

Logan rested his head against Alec's chest. He exhaled, sagging against him.

Alec wrapped his arms tighter around Logan. He ignored the flutter in his throat as he absorbed how brittle Logan felt, how it felt like one more squeeze could break Logan.

A choked sound escaped between Alec's lips.

"Don't do this again," Alec rasped. "Don't…don't be here. Ever. I…God…I'd drain myself dry for you. I swear, but don't…" He buried his face in Logan's hair. He breathed out harshly.

"You don't belong in a place like this. Don't ever end up in a place like this again."

Logan wordlessly leaned into the embrace. 

Pressed close together, Alec felt Logan's chest pull in a deep breath before shakily releasing it. He copied Logan; he found his own breath just as unsteady. The flash drives in Alec's pockets felt like they were getting heavier and heavier. His chest shrank around him like he was caught in a vise, the wave after wave of emotion threatening to push all his air out.

"God, you're such an idiot," Alec blurted with sudden ferocity. 

"I'm all right," Logan reminded Alec. He nosed Alec's shirt; Alec hunched over Logan's head. 

Alec breathed sharply. "Of course, you are," he croaked. "But you're still an idiot with your stupid sense of morals and stupid ideas and you keep doing things like they wouldn't hurt you, giving it away like it doesn't matter, doing stuff like you were bulletproof and you're not, okay? You're not bulletproof. And you don't owe anyone anything. You don't get to act like if you buy it, the world would be okay with that because—fuck— _I_ wouldn't be okay with that and if you think leaving me some fancy—" He squeezed his eyes shut. He fisted the back of Logan's top.

"I should kick your ass." Alec kissed the top of Logan's head instead. "You…" He shuffled closer. He dropped his face into the crook of Logan's uninjured shoulder. The hospital gown was thin; Alec could feel the thick gauze all over Logan's body. He tensed and started to pull away.

Logan snaked his arms around Alec's middle, stopping his retreat. 

"I shouldn't," Alec protested weakly. He couldn't pull away without hurting Logan, though. 

Logan tipped his head back to consider Alec.

"Guess it answers my question then."

"What question is that?" Alec gave up trying to move away. He sniffed loudly and held on to Logan like a buoy. He'll feel ridiculous about it later. He probably needed tryptophan too; Logan felt like the only thing holding him up right now. 

"If you found the peanut butter jar."

Alec dropped his face back into Logan's shoulder. "Your God damn 'I, Logan Cale of sound mind and body?' Leaving your penthouse to _Dean Heather_? Yes, you idiot. I did find your super secret peanut butter jar with your super secret flash drives with a copy of your will and testament. And the paperwork for Dean Heather? Birth certificate? Passport? _Social security number_? Where the hell did you have time to do all that while you were busy saving the world?" He kept his hold loose, but Logan apparently didn't like that. The other's arms cinched tighter around Alec's middle, bringing them to a huddle.

With a huff, Alec relented, holding Logan just as tight.

"I thought you were suddenly having some kind of life-flashing-in-my-eyes craving for peanut butter, bitch."

Logan's chuckles vibrated against Alec's collarbone. 

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"Well, you did wonder who gets my stuff after I kic—"

Alec's head jerked up, barely avoiding Logan's chin.

"Not funny!" Alec snapped.

Logan stared wide-eyed at Alec. His expression softened, his mouth curling ruefully. He leaned in and pressed his lips to the lines carved at the corner of Alec's downturned mouth.

It was an apology. Alec was afraid to ask what it was for and what it was _not_ for. He leaned back to look at Logan.

"I didn't come back because you gave me the lesbian vases."

Logan's throaty chuckle tugged at the corners of Alec's lips. "I figured as much." He smiled crookedly at Alec. "You came back for the same reasons I left the penthouse to you. I hope."

Alec screwed up his face. "Huh?"

Logan shook his head. He dropped his head to Alec's shoulder. "Don't worry about it."

"How can't I?" Alec whined into Logan's hair. "You were going to leave me that high tech ten thousand BTU stove. And that coffee machine. It hates me. I would have starved. You should have just left me the fishies in the fridge. And your boxers. Maybe those gray sweats of yours too."

Logan shook against Alec, but this time, Alec knew it wasn't due to the cold. He grinned against Logan's cheek.

"And those sex tapes I know you secretly made for me," Alec crooned. 

"There are no sex tapes." Logan sounded indignant, but the shaking against Alec said otherwise.

Alec smirked into Logan's hair. "Sure there are. The ones with you naked, two fingers slipping into that sweet ass of yours, your lips pink and around that sparkly blue dildo I got yo—"

"We could come back. _Really_."

Alec grinned toothily over his shoulder at visitors.

Matt and Phil stood shoulder to shoulder by the door. Sung looked vaguely—no, make that _very_ —freaked. Phil looked wide eyed and intrig—wait a fucking second…

Alec's smirk flipped. When Logan fidgeted against him, he realized he was starting to crush Logan to his chest and tugging him to Alec's lap because damn it, _mineminemine_.

"Hey babe," Alec said brightly. "You have visitors!" Remembering Phil's fascinated look, Alec's smile dropped again.

"I brought b-burritos?" Phil squeaked, unsure why Alec was trying to shank him with his glare.

Logan pulled away from Alec. He patted Alec's chest like he was trying to ward him back from barreling over Phil. (He was only thinking about it. Geez.)

Matt looked like how Original Cindy did before her hand whips towards the back of Alec's head. 

"Great," Logan managed. "Burritos." 

Alec absently rubbed his thumb over the pink stain on Logan's cheeks. He blinked when he heard Matt clear his throat.

"Guys," Matt said even as he gave Alec an eye roll. Alec grinned back, unabashed, but it faded on Matt's somber expression. "We need to talk."

 

_"…Gilbert Neal, a long time business partner of the family, will be stepping in as CEO Interim of Cale Industries while Jonas Cale prepares for his son's memorial service this afternoon. Five days ago, Bennett Cale was found killed in what the police are calling a failed experiment when their prototype hoverdrone turned against—"_

Alec shot Logan a look. It was weird to see anything on screen uninterrupted by an _Eyes Only_ hack, but it seemed like all the scumbags left Seattle while the city reeled from the news _Cale Industries_ was in the murder-for-hire business.

_"…reeling from the double blow: the death of the Cale heir-apparent and accusations of corruption deep within the ranks of Cale Industries…"_

Alec scowled. At the corner of his eye, he spied Logan glancing over. Alec smoothed out his expression immediately. 

_"…Jonas Cale was cleared of any wrongdoing. The committee, headed by Senator Greggs, will now explore the possibility of a cover-up. Unnamed sources cited the possibility of Bennett Cale's involvement, which would make his death, at the hands of his company's leading product, all the more tragic…"_

Mouth pressed thin, Logan stared at his flat screen with an intensity Alec thought the news report didn't deserve. His body appeared to be in some form of lockdown: shoulders drew in tight, jaw set, legs straight out across the couch, back ramrod straight despite the pillows Alec grabbed from all the bedrooms. Logan sat there, so stiff Alec kept glancing over from the coffee table to make sure none of the stitches pop. 

The news anchor excitedly went on, her voice pitched higher as she verbally vomited out all the scandalous crap they uncovered on the Cale family. 

Alec gnashed his teeth as the anchor speculated who would show up in the memorial service today. The redhead, wide-eyed newscaster looked like she wanted to share her theories on what everyone might be wearing to service as well. He wanted to throw his boot at her suspiciously wrinkle free face.

"How far do you think I can throw my wheelchair at her?" Logan muttered all of the sudden. His face eased out of its granite expression. He shot Alec a pained smile.

Alec held back a snort because even now, it felt like everything he say or do might be inappropriate. He pretended to study the wheelchair parked at one end of the couch. 

"With or without the footrests?"

" _…Jonas Cale released a statement thanking the Board of Directors for their support. He promises to return as CEO after taking some personal time off to be with his family in their time of mourning…"_

"With the footrests," Logan said in a light voice that made Alec grimace.

_"…Logan Cale, injured in an unrelated incident, declined the invitation to the service…"_

"Declined?" Alec muttered darkly. "He wasn't invited." In fact, a note came by messenger told Logan his presence there would be too 'disruptive'. 

Logan grunted, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. 

"Can you blame them?" Logan murmured. The stiff posture sank back into the pillows.

Alec reached turned the television off, cutting the reporter mid-word about having tried and failed to get a comment from any Cale.

Logan watched Alec. He didn’t stop Alec from shutting off the television. He tracked Alec's approach to the sofa.

Gingerly, Alec sat on the edge of the couch, one arm out to rest on the couch, the other on the arm rest. He surrounded Logan without touching him.

"Hey," Alec whispered.

Logan exhaled. His smile was less strained when he breathed out, "Hey, yourself."

Alec's hand drifted down Logan's chest. He was careful to avoid the bandages. It was like he could see them through Logan's faded green henley, spotted with crimson, wet with blood. He lowered his head, stopped and then retreated.

Logan sighed.

"I've been out of the hospital for two days." Logan studied Alec with a steady look that made Alec squirm. "How long are you planning to sleep in the guest room?"

Alec shrugged. He winced when Logan sighed again.

"I won't break, you know. I'm fine." Logan dropped a hand on Alec's knee. "Otherwise, Sam wouldn't have discharged me."

Alec bit back a retort. Doc reluctantly signed off the paperwork only because Logan threatened he would leave AMA and Alec promised to force feed the idiot to regain the pounds Logan denied losing.

As much as he wanted to sink down over Logan, relish the feel of his solid form breathing against him, Alec stayed perched on the edge of the sofa. He massaged the hand on his thigh.

"It feels like if I breathe on you," Alec confessed, "You might spring a leak." A lump suddenly formed in his throat. He looked down at the hand he held. 

Logan snorted. He gestured towards himself with his other hand.

"At the rate I'm healing?" Logan carefully fidgeted in his seat. 

Alec tamped down the urge to tell Logan to stop moving. 

"Alec," Logan exasperated. "I think the only thing hurting me right now is blue balls."

"Language," Alec protested weakly. He smiled sheepishly at Logan's glower.

"Sorry." Alec dipped his head and brushed his mouth over the contrasting texture of Logan's cheek. "You're right. You're healing faster than Doc thought. My supped up blood is awesome. _You_ look awesome. I just…" He gestured helplessly towards Logan. 

"That day. You in the car? All that…" Alec swallowed. "I don't know how to unsee that."

Logan's shoulders slumped. He nodded to himself, his eyes downcast.

"So that's it?" Logan murmured. "You're staying in the guest room. We're not…I mean…you know…the sex. Er, I—"

"Hell, no," Alec said with feeling.

Logan flinched.

"Never having sex with you again? _I'll_ die from blue balls! Hell, I think the boys are midnight blue already." Alec sobered at Logan's startled look. He cupped Logan's face, leaned in and pressed their lips together. He bit back the whimper when he felt the shy touch of Logan's tongue.

"I don't think I could ever not want you," Alec whispered. He brushed his mouth over Logan's chin, cheeks and throat. "God, the taste of you, the smell of you, your voice, your hands…" He reluctantly pulled away.

"But if we start anything, I know I'm not going to be able to stop. Or let you leave the bed. Or let my dick leave your body." Alec swallowed hard as he watched Logan's eyes turned smoky with the words. He hastily looked away before he listened to the heat pooling in his stomach.

"I don't want to hurt you again," Alec said, his throat tight. "I…and I will if we start anything. God, I'll get lost in you and even if you tell me to stop, I don't think I'll be able to." His mouth stretched painfully across his face.

"Few more days, babe. Okay? Until you stop looking like a sneeze will blow you away."

Logan's mouth twisted as he considered Alec. 

"I'm not fragile, Alec," Logan said gently. "Stop looking at me like I am." He gripped Alec's hand. "I'm fine. Your blood even fixed my heart. Remember?"

Alec numbly nodded. It had been the only thing Carr was worried about: the tiny nick from a passing bullet, skimming too close to an aorta, causing Logan's heart rate to skip and become an unfamiliar song against Alec's ears.

"I…" Alec found himself tracing the line under Logan's chin. It was a reddish line long gone, but Alec could still see it even when he closed his eyes at night.

Logan sagged. His eyes crinkled sadly at Alec. The understanding in them made it hard for Alec to look at him.

"All right," Logan murmured. "Take whatever time you need, but Alec…" He covered Alec's thumb stroking his throat. "You didn't hurt me."

Alec scoffed. He pulled his hand away.

Logan exhaled. Thankfully, he didn't pursue it further. He leaned back into the pillows. He absently stroked Alec's hand on his lap. Alec couldn't find it in him to tug his hand away.

Alec cleared his throat to hear the silence between them disappear.

"Are you feeling any different anywhere else?" Alec made a point not to look at Logan's legs.

Something flickered across Logan's face, too fast to catch its meaning. As quick as it came, Logan's face cleared. He ruefully smiled up at Alec.

"It took weeks before I felt anything, Alec." Logan shrugged his good shoulder. "And there's still a chance I might not feel anything at all."

Alec heard the catch in Logan's voice the other couldn't quite hide. He slid a hand down Logan's leg. He cupped a knee and carefully squeezed.

Logan didn't move, didn't twitch, but when Alec glanced up again, the other stared hard at a spot past Alec's left ear, jaw set.

Alec's hand withdrew.

"It wouldn't matter," Alec said quietly. "You know that, right? If it doesn't work again, if your legs…it wouldn't matter." He cradled Logan's face. The stubble tickled his palms. The sensation curled something hot in his belly. His cock stirred. 

Alec steeled himself before he could surge forward and run his lips over the rough texture and chase that warm breath. He caught himself leaning in, stopped and mourned internally when Logan sank back into the pillows.

"We were all right before," Alec murmured. "Hell, we were more than all right." His thumbs drew slow circles along the cheekbones. Strong lines, the cut of bone, under the rough texture of stubble sprinkled across soft skin. The contrasts were reeling and never failed to leave Alec dry-mouthed.

Logan sighed. His slightly moist exhale tickled Alec's palms. He peered up through his lashes.

Alec covered Logan's eyes with a hand and a groan.

"Stop," Alec whined, only half-kidding. "If Doc finds out we were doing 'strenuous activity' only two days after your release, he'll squeal to Original Cindy and you know what's going to happen to me?"

Logan chuckled. He nudged Alec's hand away. "You're joking."

"Hey, my head is still spinning from the smack she gave me at work yesterday!"

"What did you do?" Logan smiled as he cupped the back of Alec's head.

"Nothing! Er, okay, I may have mentioned an idea about whipped cream, me and some fruit."

The pink on Logan's cheeks never failed to coax a grin out of Alec.

"Hey! I'm just following your doctor's orders!"

"Alec, when Simon said he would like me to eat more, I'm pretty sure that wasn't what he had in mind."

 

 

"I don't believe it." 

Alec scowled at the folder that sat between him and Matt. Phil, in a fit of paranoia that was almost cute in a stupid sort of way, was patrolling the rundown salvage yard. He could hear the goof, the gears squeaking in his exoskeleton suit every so often as Phil orbited around the crushed car that served as their meeting table. Despite how Phil was failing on the stealthy aspect of patrol, it was reassuring. For days, Alec kept feeling like he was being watched.

"That's it?" Alec said, pointing to the thin folder. "No wonder Jonas Cale got off. And what happened to the files Logan anonymously sent over to your techs?" 

Matt frowned as well even though he was the one who got the police report.

"This is the only report filed on Bennett Cale's murder. Forensics claimed they sent a six page report, but all I received was the summary."

"I could—"

The detective shook his head. "Don't bother looking for their copy. I checked. There was a fire on their floor a few nights ago. The servers were damaged from all the water. Even the physical evidence they collected was destroyed."

"Coincidence? Hah!" Phil offered as he bounced by them in yet another rotation. 

"No shit," Alec muttered. "Days after Logan gets shot and Big Brother launches an investigation into _Cale Industries_ the evidence gets dusted? I thin—dude, will you cut that out?" He shot Phil a glare as he leapt by them again. "You're making Matt dizzy. There's no one here. I checked." Alec kept getting an itchy feeling on the back of his neck, though. Despite what he told Phil, Alec routinely checked the sky for an ominous black dot.

Matt stared at Alec before rolling his eyes at Phil. "Better stop. I think someone here is anxious to get back." He smirked faintly.

Alec glowered at Matt. "Hey, you wanna stand out here for another hour, be my guest." He stuck a thumb over his shoulder. His ride leaned haphazardly against one of the stacks of rusting, crunched cars. "Do you know how long it takes to _bike_ back to his place? I was going to pick up pizza, too!"

"Ah," Phil said as he hopped back to their makeshift conference table. "The affairs of the heart! And pizza!" He grinned cheekily at Alec, rocking back under the elbow Alec half-heartedly jabbed him with.

"Shut up," Alec muttered. "He didn't want to stop investigating this, but he might still be a target, so he's staying put."

Matt's eyebrow rose. "I'm surprised he agreed to that."

Alec grinned toothily. He waggled his brow. 

"I can be very convincing."

Matt winced. "No details, please."

"Aw, come on. I really wanna kiss and tell!"

"You could tell me," Phil offered. He blanched when Alec dragged a blistering glare towards him. "Or not."

"Thirty four Varrick Way."

Alec blinked. He turned questioning at Matt, who was staring at the folder between them like they haven’t already for the past hour. 

"Narcotics is raiding a suspected Steelhead chop shop selling Blitz and Rockets on the side. Tonight."

Alec made a face. "Yeah, typical Steelhead economy of choice. They used to bust Original Cindy's route on Wincher Avenue until _Eyes Only_ blew the whistle on their franchise attempt." 

Matt nodded. "I remember that case. Logan drove around after curfew to see how many would come up to sell him Blitz. He figured the dealers would see a man in a wheelchair would be desperate for a way to get high enough to go into convulsions. Anything to be moving again." The detective darkened in memory.

"Took him a week but he got every dealer's name working those streets." At Alec's frown, Matt added, "This was before you came into the picture and ah…shortly after Max left."

If anything, Alec's scowl deepened. 

Matt scrubbed his face. "At the time, I thought _Eyes Only_ was being reckless, sending the same guy there to draw out the dealers, but now I know it was—"

"It was _Logan_ being reckless," Alec finished. He exhaled sharply. _God damn it, Heather._

"But now I know," Matt said. He gave Alec a significant look. He nodded to Phil. "Now _we_ know."

Alec bit his lower lip as he considered the file on the hood. It was strange, familiar in a distant kind of way, to have more than him, himself and moi on his side. It felt…weird. Yet…not that weird. 

"Varrick, huh?" Alec said loudly. 

"There may be a few custom made wheels you might want to check out. Before Narcotics gets there."

Alec arched an eyebrow at Matt, who shrugged.

"There have been rumors things are always going missing in their busts. Why benefit them?"

Phil nodded. He looked like he was one headshake short of completely unhinging off his shoulders. 

"Yes! Why should the corrupt reap the rewards?" Phil beamed at Alec. "This is for the greater good!"

Alec cast his eyes skyward. "If greater good means getting pizza back to him before it gets cold, sure. Greater good. Yay." He rolled up the folder and bopped Phil on the head with it. 

The detective held up his hands. 

"Happy to do my part for the team."

Team?

Alec paused. 

Matt smirked at Alec. "First time you called me Matt, you know." He looked pleased.

Alec's brow furrowed. "No, I've called you that before," he protested faintly.

"Took him a month before he called me Street Sweeper." Phil stuck his head in. "Before it was 'Phil' this and 'Phil' that."

"Dude, that's because your code name was _stupid_."

Phil beamed at Matt. He flung his arms wide.

"Welcome to our cause, fellow crime fighter!"

Matt warily took a step back.

"You two do know I've been doing this with Logan longer than you have?"

"Yes, but our leader's mate has now acknowledged—"

"Wait," Alec sputtered, "his _what_?" He glared at Phil, Phil, pervy Phil, who seemed too fascinated with knowing pervy details and stared starry-eyed at Logan a second too long.

"I'm part of the club," Matt deadpanned, "Great."

"You need a code name!"

"He really doesn't," Alec said.

"I really don't," Matt said at the same time.

Phil looked crestfallen. "But he's now truly in the folds of fighting for justice! He should have a name."

"I've always been partial to Matthew Sung," Matt drawled.

"But that's so boring!"

" _Excuse me_?"

Alec wanted to snatch Phil's funky headgear off and beat the goof silly with it. "Dude, you do know this also means we're corrupting good old Detective Sung."

Phil's wide eyes snapped them towards Matt. "Oh no…You can't succumb to the temptations of greed, Detective Sung!" His arms flapped. "We must stay loyal to the cause and not fall into corruption!"

"…Were you even listening to what we were just talking about before?"

Alec covered his face with his hands. Sometimes it was much easier skulking solo in the night. He missed the days he could slip in and out a window without worrying about collateral damage. Things got done faster and with fewer headaches. Less meeting too. God damn, there's so much stuff he could be lining his pockets with right now if he didn't have to stick around and plan shit.

"…only counts when it's first accompanied with a warrant," Phil protested. "What you're condoning is—"

"—if this was an official…" Matt argued over Phil.

Alec studied the two. He thought about them in the hospital, Matt guarding Logan's door, Phil dropping off burritos every day, Original Cindy kicking him out to use the showers because he was stinky.

"…but it's not admissible!" Phil squawked.

Matt chuckled.

Alec smirked. He folded his arms in front of him as he considered the two.

Team, huh?

Strangely enough, Alec found he could live with that.

 

 

_"This was all your doing!"_

_"Funny, I was just about to say that about you."_

So much for soundproof.

Alec heard the voices as soon as he stepped off the elevator. The broad smile he wore since parking his sweet new ride in the garage dropped. 

Despite Logan's claim the penthouse was soundproof, the angry timber inside rang clear the moment the elevator doors opened on Logan's floor.

Logan sounded calm. Nevertheless, Alec found himself running the few steps to Logan's front door. He almost threw himself bodily at the entrance until he realized the angry voice was approaching the door at a good clip.

"…always thought of you as a son!" Jonas Cale shouted. Even with the so-called soundproofing, the fury was clear in his voice. He sounded like he stopped short of the foyer.

"I hope not," Logan said evenly. He was barely audible. "I've seen how you treated your son."

_Slap_.

The mangled knob was clutched within Alec's fist after Alec yanked the door open almost off its hinges. He bolted in, rammed an elbow under Jonas Cale's soft chin and slammed the trim businessman against the wall that made up the hallway.

The knob dropped to the floor with a loud clatter.

"Dean!"

Alec was breathing hard, barely registering Logan rolling up to him. There was buzzing in his ear. His glare was only focused on Jonas choking under his elbow.

"What? Who—" the elder Cale gasped out. His feet dangled an inch off the ground. His eyes darted wildly until they landed on Alec's face. His face contorted into an expression of anger and pain. " _You_."

Alec didn't release his hold. He jerkily turned his head and studied Logan. His upper lip curled back at the reddish mark that took up Logan's left cheek and under his eye.

"Okay?" Alec asked brusquely. He stepped closer to Jonas. 

Logan nodded, his lips pressed tight. "I'm fine. Let him go."

Alec shoved his face into the target's personal space. The man grabbed Alec's forearm with both of his hands. Alec started to ease back until his eyes landed on the Cale's right hand and the swollen knuckles scraped from having hit something. Hard.

A growl rumbled deep in Alec's throat. He leaned into his forearm. He could feel the flutter of a bobbing Adam's apple. So fragile. A little more pressure and…

"Let me go!" the businessman blustered. "I could have you arrested!"

Logan's hand palmed the back of Alec's thigh.

"Stop," Logan said quietly.

"He hit you," Alec bit out. His arm lifted. Jonas's chin was forced higher; his legs flailed. It was hard to stand tippy toe on expensive Italian leather shoes.

Logan snorted. "Barely. Even Uncle Jonas wouldn't stoop that low to hit a guy in a wheelchair."

Alec tilted his head up. He caught Jonas's eyes widening. The older man's fingers dug into Alec's arm.

"Dean."

"He. Hit. You."

"Dean, he lost his _child_."

Alec stilled. The mist over his vision cleared. 

Robert Berrisford stared back.

Alec stopped himself before he reared back. Nonetheless, his hold loosened.

Jonas Cale unceremoniously dropped to the floor. He gripped his own throat as he stared up at Alec. It didn't appear to register how close of a call Jonas was in. The Cale patriarch looked furious. The red flush on his face overwhelmed the bruise on his throat.

"I remember you," Jonas wheezed. "You were Logan's _friend_. My security told me someone tried to break into my personal computer that night. It was you, wasn't it?"

"Tried?" Alec bared his teeth at Jonas. "More like succeeded." 

Jonas Cale shakily rose to his feet. He still held his throat as if it would shield it from Alec. Alec's eyes drifted to Jonas's throat; his gaze lingered. 

The other man swallowed. There was a muted _thump_ when Jonas's back struck the wall.

The older Cale waved a cutting gesture towards Alec. "Your father would have been ashamed of you."

Logan's hands curled around the wheelchair's rims.

"I'm pretty sure I'm not the one my father would be ashamed of."

Jonas's nostrils flared. "I was trying to keep _Cale Industries_ alive."

Logan scoffed. "By killing people? Your son? Me?"

"I wasn't the one who had my son killed! You did! You dragged Bennett into your vigilante garbage, forced him to turn his back on his legacy, his _family_." Jonas's voice cracked. His eyes watered. "Yet you're the one still here. My Bennett isn't."

Logan's knuckles bleached around the rims. Alec wanted to take a step towards Jonas Cale again. But the rigid line across Logan's shoulders kept him rooted next to Logan instead.

"Go home, Uncle Jonas," Logan said wearily. 

Jonas Cale's eyes darted from Logan to Alec, who stood over the patriarch with his fists clenched and his feet shoulder width apart.

"You don't know…" Jonas started.

Logan shook his head jerkily. "Just go."

"The moment you started asking questions, you damned us all—"

" _I_ wasn't the one who damned us all," Logan said tightly. " _I_ wasn't the one who bastardized an instrument that already violated our civil rights and turning them into—"

"We had no choice!" Jonas shouted. He panted as if he's been running. "Monopolizing the hoverdrones wasn't enough to keep _Cale Industries_ afloat. These are hard times. We needed to—"

"We?" Logan said sharply. "Who's _we_?"

Jonas's mouth snapped shut. He massaged his throat.

"No. I've said too much."

"Actually," Alec drawled. "I don't think you've said enough. You heard him. Answer his question: who's 'we'?"

Jonas took a shuddering breath. "If you think you can beat it out of me—"

"Not think," Alec snapped. "I _know_."

"Is this what you've been reduced to?" Jonas lashed out towards Logan. His eyes, however, tracked Alec. "You and your hippie ways, writing your little articles, poking your nose into what isn't your business. Now you've moved on to brute force, thuggery and…and…"

"I was trying to get to the truth. Bennett, as well."

Jonas's hand went up. Logan didn't blink.

Alec, however, growled under his breath.

Jonas lowered his hand. The rest of the older man's body seemed to follow. He suddenly looked small, shrunken in his three piece tailored black suit.

Jonas covered his eyes. "Why didn't you leave this alone?" he whispered. "We're your family."

Logan's shoulders dipped a fraction before he sat higher.

"I know you don't think I don't care about family, about _Cale Industries_." Logan sounded rough as if he was the one who had been shouting, not Jonas. "But I did this to _save_ our family's company. I didn't want the company you and my father watched over to be covered in blood."

"Save us?"Jonas's voice rose again. He didn't seem to notice how Alec tensed. "You dragged our family name in the mud, killed my only child and you have the audacity to tell me you were trying to _save_ us?"

"People were killed off one by one like animals!" Logan snapped. Whatever weariness was in Logan's voice have evaporated. His rare temper flared with a burst like a flash bomb. "You designed a machine for murder."

"Convicts! Scum of society! No one would have missed them," Jonas shouted back. "We tested on them so the drones wouldn't hit an innocent. It was the best way to ensure the programming's accuracy." He shook his head.

"You don't know what it was like the months after the Pulse. Our money was becoming worthless. American currency no longer held any value. Within a month, everything we owned was only worth half as much. While you frittered away playing social outrage in that newspaper of yours, we were struggling to figure out a way to survive."

_Again with the 'we' stuff_ , Alec thought. He checked if Logan noticed. The other never looked back, too busy glaring at Jonas.

"Seventeen people are dead," Logan said low.

Jonas didn't flinch at the number. "We had no choice! The Pulse took so much. We had to cut back on everything in order to survive! Sacrifices were made—"

"Yes," Logan said coldly. "Forced to switch to domestic salmon. Poor Aunt Margo."

"You're not exactly living in squalor either." Jonas tugged his suit down with a snap. He stood with his back to the wall; he was still breathing hard. A calculating eye swept over Logan.

Alec's left knee flexed.

Logan slipped a hand over the back of Alec's knee. His palm felt warm even through the jeans.

"And still wouldn't be." Jonas's jaw flexed. "Despite the accountants having found your trust fund depleted, along with a small fortune." He laughed harshly.

"You frowned down on your family, act disgusted at our wealth, but in the end, you couldn't bear to live without your monthly checks. Despite how embarrassing we may be to you, do you think you're any better than us: playing Robin Hood while sipping on martinis high in your penthouse?"

"Bourbon, actually," Alec cut in before Logan could, "Preferably neat. Goes well with gnawing on the bones of you gold-plated dicks."

Logan made a muffled noise that only Alec heard.

Jonas's eyes narrowed. "And how much is Junior paying you to suck on _his_ gold-plated d—"

"Go. Home." Logan's voice became hard and unmoving. 

Alec fought the knee jerk response to standing at attention or salute.

Logan must have realized this; the hand around the back of Alec's knee curled and gave the joint a brief squeezed before pulling away.

"I didn't have to come here." Jonas opened his hands entreatingly towards them. "No one else knows about your little crusade. Someone else could have been here instead of me. In fact, they wouldn't have bothered to try and talk with you. He would've—I'm telling you to drop this before someone else dies." He cast a pleading look at Logan.

"I already lost one son. I can't…" Jonas's mouth pressed thin at Logan's closed expression.

"If I walk out this door, I can't guarantee your safety anymore." Jonas turned from Logan to Alec and back. 

"The committee is going to find _Cale Industries_ , or, at least, a majority of it, not at fault. They'll fine us, but that's it. If you let this go, the government will leave it like that. This will be over if you stop. Otherwise…"

Logan's face gave nothing away.

"Isn't there enough blood on your hands?" Jonas whispered.

Logan flinched. It was small, but Alec felt it against his hip.

"You took my son," Jonas said brokenly, "Who else is next? When is this going to be enough?"

"Go home." Logan's voice was tired now. He lost the stiff posture. Like Jonas, Logan appeared smaller.

Jonas stared at Logan, his eyes shadowed, lines carved into his face.

It was indeed a father's face, Alec realized. He heard the faint beep of a heart monitor; his past ringing in his ears. He cleared his throat to drown it out.

"You should do what he says," Alec said quietly. "Go home." 

Jonas's mouth opened and closed. He looked like a caught fish, fighting to breathe despite the hook mutilating its gaping mouth. He looked at Logan, glared at Alec and visibly struggled to say something else. But whatever he wanted or going to say never came. 

A strangled sound escaped Jonas's lips. He shot Logan a look of disappointment. Alec saw it enough on Lydecker to recognize and almost react to it.

After a beat, Jonas shook his head. He kept a wary eye on Alec as he walked backwards. He pivoted when he was at the door, swaying open and shut after Alec's storming in. 

Jonas shot Alec a look this time; his red-rimmed eyes tinged with fear. He faced the door, his hand reaching for what remained of the knob. His hand flailed for a grip. He wrenched the door open and slammed it hard behind him.

A beat later, the doorknob for the inside dropped loudly to join its mate on the floor.

Logan pulled back, turned around and wheeled away without a word.

 

 

_Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap._

The sound normally grated Alec. The chitter-chatter of the keys always sounded like bones rattling in his pocket. Right now, however, it told Alec Logan was still here. Physically, at least.

Logan was silent when he repaired the door. He was just as quiet while he made dinner.

Dinner had also been a silent affair around the coffee table. After all the chicken and corn had been consumed, Alec folded himself to sit cross-legged by Logan's knees while the other furiously typed away in his small computer.

Alec absently stared at the television with the volume off because reading lips was a skill Manticore hammered into him for too long to let it go to waste.

"He's right."

Logan's resigned words drew Alec's half-hearted attentions away from the screen. Logan had stopped typing. He was watching the screen as well.

"No, he wasn't." Alec twisted around to set his chin on the cushions. He gazed up at Logan.

"This 'we' he was talking about before," Alec said slowly. "They could have been the ones who pulled the trigger on Bennett Cale."

Logan's face didn't change. He kept watching the television. His laptop was ignored.

Alec longed to touch him, but everything about Logan screamed against it. 

"I know it still feels like it's your fault, though," Alec continued. He stared at the seam of Logan's pants. "I also get that even though logically, you know you didn't intentionally want to hurt your cousin, your gut is telling you it's still your fault."

Alec's mouth cracked into a thin curve. It hurt to smile. His face felt windblown, his cheeks vaguely burning.

"At least you didn't actually pull the trigger, right?" Alec joked weakly.

A hand dropped on Alec's shoulder. Logan said nothing. Alec was kind of grateful for that. He took a deep breath.

"Look, Bennett might not have gone along with you at first, but he was on Team _Eyes Only_ after that. He got you that footage. He didn't have to. You didn't force him. He made that decision himself. That's not on you."

Logan's hand stayed on Alec. It curled briefly, as if to pull away, but stopped at the last second.

Alec rested his forehead on Logan's hip. He wished Logan could feel it. He wished he knew for certain if something like that made a difference.

"Like you said before," Alec said, more towards the couch, "Your uncle's a father who lost his son. He's grieving. Makes people do and say weird things."

"Nothing weird about the truth," Logan finally said; he sounded empty and tired. He sounded as hollow as an echo.

"That wasn't the truth," Alec said. "That was a guy pissed off."

"If only I had dropped it or left Bennett alone—"

"More people would have died," Alec interrupted. "And then you would be sitting here blaming yourself for that instead."

The hand on Alec's shoulder twitched.

"I know a lot about guilt," Alec whispered. He kept his gaze on Logan's sweatpants. "I know it's not something you can just shake off. It stays on you. You could scrub at it every day, you could cover it up, but it's still there."

Carefully, Logan's hand drifted to cup Alec's nape, fingers kneading the inked skin stretched over a column of knobby bones.

Alec shivered. 

"Yeah," Alec croaked. "So, uh…yeah." He rolled his shoulders back, pressing into the massaging touch. He felt the tension rolled down his spine like water.

"I understand what you're saying," Logan said. "Logically. But I…"

Alec stroked the strip of skin exposed between the bottom of Logan's worn shirt and the hem of his sweatpants. It was the soft skin, the softest right along the top of Logan's hipbone. Alec skimmed the pale line with two fingers back and forth.

Logan fidgeted. He sank back into the pillows. He closed his eyes.

Alec continued to touch. Only touch and savoring the heat of Logan's skin stretched over muscle and bone. He felt the taut flatness of Logan's stomach, the bristly beginnings of a trail that disappeared into Logan's waistline. His touch faltered when he felt the coarse stitching above Logan's other hip. Alec knew if he traveled higher, there would be a matching one on his shoulder. 

"I know, babe," Alec murmured. "Do you want to stop? They've forty-six-ed hoverdrone program. They can't risk trying again." 

Logan lay on the couch, eyes still closed. 

Alec's palm traveled to Logan's arm. He cupped the bulge flexing under the long sleeve. He felt Logan's biceps jump under Alec's hand. He pressed down his heel, down the arm until he felt the arm relaxing. Alec kissed Logan's wrist.

"It's your call. Do you want us to back off?"

"No." Logan sighed, "I don't want to back off. He's getting away with it; he's blaming it on everyone but himself." When Logan opened his eyes, they were dull, but when he looked down at Alec, he smiled faintly.

"Bennett has to have died for something." Logan pressed his fists to his eyes. He sighed loudly.

Alec wanted to press down across the length of Logan's body and swallow the mournful sound. However, he remembered the almost spiky feeling of stitches yet to dissolve. He remembered the subtle heat of flesh battling to heal under the constant threat of infection. Transfusion or not, Logan still felt brittle. There were times Alec could see the red band under Logan's throat.

"All right," Alec murmured. Reluctantly, he pulled his hand away. He pretended he didn't hear the disappointed sound Logan uttered under his breath. Alec himself wanted to groan as well.

"Alec—"

Alec hastily kissed the protest he knew Logan was going to make. He brushed his lips down the scratchy contrast of Logan's jaw.

"I need a little more time," Alec whispered. "You still feel a little too squishy."

"That's Simon's fault," Logan grumbled, only half-kidding. "I saw that nutritional list he gave you. Don't think I don't see you checking it before declaring you suddenly have a craving for something."

"Doc wasn't impressed with your girlish figure, Heather. And I gotta say, you're much cuter with more meat on your bones. I like to pinch your cheeks." At Logan's eyebrow, Alec smirked.

"Yeah, I like to pinch those, too."

Logan rolled his eyes. He was smiling, though, albeit tiredly.

"Will you, at least, stop sleeping in the guest bedroom?" Logan's finger traced the line of Alec's spine.

Alec swallowed hard. He could felt Logan's touch even through his shirt and button down. He dropped his forehead to Logan's chin.

"I'm trying to be noble, damn it," Alec whined.

Logan vibrated against Alec. "I'm sorry."

"I mean, how am I going to do that with you molesting me at night? I know I'm irresistible, but geez, get a handle on yourself." Alec suddenly smirked. "Actually, that's a _great_ idea. Get a handle on yourself. I wanna watch."

"So much for noble," Logan remarked. He ran fingertips down Alec's scalp. It took everything not to arch his back and ground his erection into Logan.

"Come on," groaned Alec. He wasn't sure if he was begging the other to keep going or stop. He wrapped his hands around Logan's arms, his grip loose and careful. 

"Just sleep," Logan murmured. "I promise to keep my hands off you."

"Oh…good…" Alec managed. Deep down, a part of him was serving him mental head slaps even Original Cindy would have deemed excessive. "That's…I mean…great. Good for you. Yay."

Logan's fingers curled and tugged at Alec's hair.

"And if I promise to keep my hands on _me_ instead?"

Alec's erection pressed painfully against his jeans. He swallowed and lifted his eyes to lock with Logan's.

"Even better," Alec whispered. "I'm going to hold you to that, babe."

"Despite evidence to the contrary, _this_ Cale is a man of his word."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: I have a bathroom again! Unfortunately, this also means I have dust. _Lots_ of dust. I thought I better post this before I swiffer everything within an inch of its pre-construction life. After that, I can sit down on my writing desk again! Hurrah!


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sap, angst, no sex and strong language

_The sound a neck makes is both wet and not._

_His target uttered something; three words or four, it wasn't clear. The voice gave out as soon as more pressure was applied._

_The slurp of flesh and bone slipping out of place, the sound of blood forced to stop flowing and the dry crack of cartilage grinding, resistance and finally relenting to outside forces—_

_Snaaaaaaap._

_The skin wasn't broken, nothing protruded out yet when 494 pulled his hands away, his palms felt damp. But when he stared down at his hands, they were dry._

_"Good job, 494. Report to the LZ."_

_He nodded even though the command was hissed in his ear and not dispensed by a stony faced officer. Nevertheless, he glanced up, but he was of course now alone in the hotel room. Absently, he looked down again at his target, limbs akimbo, blank eyes dimmed into dull jade yet when he tilted his head, they swirled into gold…_

 

"Alec!"

It was like bursting out of a pool. Blood pounded in his ears, chest burning from staying locked too long without oxygen. His hands felt odd on him; like lumps of cold and misshapen flesh. 

Logan's hand on Alec's chest felt like it could push him into the mattress. The lit lamp behind Logan cast the rest of his face in shadow, but Logan's eyes were green as jade, tinted with gold.

Bile rose up Alec's throat. He quickly covered his eyes with his arm and waited for the nausea to pass.

"Deep breaths," Logan murmured. Somehow, the understanding in his voice made Alec feel worse.

Alec's Adam's apple bobbed. "I didn't take a swing at you, did I?" 

Logan's hand on Alec's chest turned soothing; it rubbed small circles on his skin. 

"I'm still pretty," Logan said lightly, "At least by your standards."

"Hell," Alec muttered, "You're pretty by anyone's standards." He cautiously lifted his arm off his gritty eyes. Logan's face appeared free of any knuckle shaped bruising. 

"Sorry." Alec sat up. He scrubbed his face with both hands. "I thought watching you doing naughty things to yourself last night would exempt me from my dark and creepy reruns." 

Logan cleared his throat. To his credit (aw, Heather was growing up), there was only a pink stain on the tips of his ears.

Alec rested back into the headboard. He smiled ruefully at Logan, but his mouth flattened quickly after.

"You okay?" Logan massaged along the shape of Alec's pecs. The heel of his hand pressed down the line of Alec's obliques. 

"I should have stayed in the guestroom." Alec closed his eyes. He savored the feel of calluses and warm skin smoothing across his chest. "That feels good."

"It could feel better," Logan offered quietly.

Alec opened one eye to glare at Logan. "You know I have zero willpower when it comes to you."

"I'm flattered," Logan returned lightly. His hand drifted lower.

Alec felt something break inside when he made himself grab Logan's hand and moved it away.

Logan breathed out between his teeth. He shook his head. Luckily (yet unluckily), Logan didn't try again.

Alec dropped a hand on Logan's shoulder. He didn't dare touch anywhere else.

"A few more days until Doc clears you."

"This is ridiculous, I'm—"

"Babe," Alec pleaded. "I am the last person on this planet dumb enough to refuse to have sex with you, but we should wait. Super blood or not, you need more time."

Logan exhaled sharply. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you, Alec, but I'm fin—"

" _I_ need more time." 

Logan fell silent.

Alec squeezed the hand he held.

"Okay?" Alec swallowed. He rubbed Logan's hand between both of his. The fragility of fine bone curled inside his double grip made Alec's chest clench. The pounding in his ears returned. He forced himself not to squeeze too tight. He reminded himself to look at Logan, _look_ at him and see _alivealivealive_ instead of blood.

"All right?" Alec wished he was able to completely squash down the plea in his voice. 

Logan's eyes flicked across Alec. The grim set of his mouth eased. He closed his eyes briefly.

"All right." Logan was still frowning, but his eyes softened when they studied Alec. He dragged himself up with his elbows to sit next to Alec.

"Careful," Alec cautioned. His hands hovered over Logan, wanting to help.

Logan gently prodded Alec's hands away as he pulled himself higher. "Alec, I'm not going to—Oh."

Alec's eyes flew to where Logan was looking at.

"Damn it," Alec swore. He yanked up the red spotted t-shirt over Logan's head. He squinted at the stitches on Logan's torso. 

"I thought you said I didn't take a swing at you."

Logan tolerated Alec's poking and prodding with a sigh. "Not deliberately. You flailed a little."

"Close enou—Wait a minute." Alec glowered at Logan. "I do not flail."

The corner of Logan's mouth ticked up. "You were a monkey hopped up on Blitz."

Alec huffed. "Funny, Heather." He framed the wound with both hands. "Doesn't feel warm."

"It was only a stitch. Probably when I twisted around to wake you."

"No more sexy moves until the Doc say okay." Alec examined the area closer. He swallowed. "It looks a little red."

"It was hot under the covers you piled on top of me, despite it being summer."

"Your feet were cold."

"Alec, they're _always_ cold."

Alec tentatively felt around the wound with a finger. He wiped at the red droplet. It beaded, smeared on the skin when he touched the area. 

_Blood seeped between his fingers, hot and sticky and thick…_

Alec's hand jerked back.

"Alec?"

Alec averted his gaze from Logan's body. He gestured towards Logan's feet. "No, they felt extra cold, it could be from the blood loss or because you popped your stitches."

" _Stitch_. Singular."

"Maybe we should call the Doc."

"It's three in the morning." 

"I know, but—"

Logan caught Alec's hands before they wander to check the wound on Logan's shoulder or the one on his thigh or the red welt under his throat, God, there was so much, too much hurt on Logan's body—

"Hey."

Alec raised his gaze. Logan stared back, his mouth a sad little curl, his eyes crinkled with understanding.

"I'm all right. It was only a torn stitch. I'm not bleeding out. You fixed the blood loss. Simon patched me up. And…" Logan massaged his throat. Alec's stomach lurched.

"There's not even a mark anymore." Logan tugged Alec closer. Alec resisted before carefully slumping next to him. 

Alec exhaled. He rested a loosely curled hand on Logan's stomach; his thumb drew a line parallel to the stitching. The skin was pink, white along the edges of a bullet wound. He knew, without looking, there was a twin in a slightly different size on the other side. A through and through; hot metal cut through flesh. 

"Simon thinks given the rate I'm healing," Logan murmured, "there probably won't even be a scar."

"Too bad." Alec dropped a kiss on the round joint of Logan's shoulder. "Scars are sexy."

"Not all of them."

Alec snaked his arm around Logan's middle. His hand splayed across Logan's lower back, slightly higher so the other could feel Alec stroking the subtle star-shaped pucker that interrupted the sleek line of the spine.

"All of them," Alec said firmly. 

Logan's shoulder bumped against Alec's.

The lamp to Logan's right flickered. Once, twice and it dulled to a soft yellow.

"Brownout," Logan said needlessly.

Alec grunted. "These random power outages are getting predictable."

Logan snorted. He rubbed his hip absently.

Alec watched Logan for a minute, tracking the hand going from the hip joint down mid-thigh. 

"You okay?"

Logan's hand stopped. The hand withdrew quickly before moving to cover Alec's over his stomach.

"Just testing," Logan quietly said.

"Anything?"

Logan's hand was stiff and motionless over Alec's. "…No."

Alec placed a feather light kiss on Logan's temple. 

The diminished light left the room in a soft glow. The shadows now appeared less threatening. Nothing seemed to loom over the bed.

"I'm glad you're not in the guestroom," Logan murmured.

Alec smiled into Logan's hair. He had to help wash it before because Logan was still having trouble raising his left arm. Logan's hair smelled nutty, clean with an almost smoky tinge of almond.

"Even with all the supposed flailing I was doing?" Alec mouthed a thick strand of Logan's hair and gave it a playful tug with his teeth.

Logan rumbled. He raised his good arm and swatted vaguely towards Alec's direction. 

"Even with all the flailing."

Alec sobered. 

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Alec murmured.

"You didn't."

"I wasn't talking about before."

"I know." Logan turned his head and kissed the side of Alec's neck. "You didn't then either."

"I put my arm around your throat and—"

"Put me out so the pain wouldn't kill me."

Alec gulped. His stomach soured at the memory of Logan's breath rattling against him. Even the stench of burning flesh was nothing compared to the sensation of Logan stilling under Alec's arm. 

A reed thin sound escaped. Alec carefully burrowed his face into the curve of Logan's neck. Logan's arms circled Alec's shoulders. A light kiss dropped on his hair.

"I didn't like doing that."

"I know."

"I thought the cauterizing would be worse, but instead, it was…I mean, you were pinned and I…I had to…"

Logan's mouth brushed along Alec's brow and hairline. "Sh."

Alec breathed harshly.

"It _sucked_."

Logan murmured apologies and reassurances into Alec's hair. 

Alec let Logan's timber roll over him like a soothing wave. Part of him wanted to burrow into Logan and familiarize himself with Logan's heartbeat again. Another part of him reminded Alec of every hurt still lingering sore and red on Logan's body.

"Don't," Logan said when Alec fidgeted. "If you make me drag you back to bed, I'll pop another stitch."

Alec snorted.

"Just this," Logan whispered. "Okay?"

Alec nodded against Logan. He stared out into the fuzzy shadows on the wall. He listened as Logan breathed. He carefully tightened his hold around Logan. 

"They used to send me out on a lot of missions. Missions that needed my particular skill set," Alec said falteringly. "Anyone who pissed off the big M or was holding onto their purse strings; I get sent out." He swallowed.

"Remember when I said they made us pretty for a reason?" Alec whispered.

Logan's hand slipped over Alec's.

Alec stuck his nose into Logan's hair. He inhaled. The scent of almond and soap filled his nostrils. Inside, his stomach calmed.

"You don't have to say anymore if you don't want to."

Alec pulled Logan closer against him. He rubbed his chin on Logan's temples.

"Thought you said I can tell you when I'm ready?"

"Are you ready?"

Alec winced. "Not really. But…" He traced the shape of Logan's ear with his thumb. "I want to. I think I am ready." He took a steadying breath. 

"Guns were messy. Silencers weren't completely silent. And sometimes you can't sneak one in. Knives can miss by inches. Up close and personal was the most efficient way to get to my target." Alec ran his tongue across his lower lip. 

"When they first started sending me out, my hands were too small to wrap around some of the necks. And there were fingerprints to consider even if mine was never in any system except Manticore's."

Alec held up his left hand. He examined his fingers. He wondered what would pop up if his prints were detected. X-494? Or was there another designation in their computers?

"A garrote leaves too much DNA behind." Alec hastily lowered his hand. "And not as efficient as most would think. People can still survive a garrote."

Logan was silent next to him. Alec wished Logan would say something. But Alec also hoped Logan wouldn't.

"An arm under the chin," Alec said hoarsely, "was usually the best. Easier to control. Enough pressure and the target wouldn't have a chance to shout. A few more minutes could crush the…" He gulped.

"Guess I wasn't ready after all," Alec mumbled. 

Logan's arms moved down to Alec's middle in a loose embrace. He slid down to lie flat on the bed with Alec's help. With a few careful turns, Alec settled himself flushed against Logan's back. His hands intertwined with Logan's. Their clasp rested above Logan's navel, unfortunately, also away from Logan's heart. Nevertheless, a knot unraveled inside Alec's chest. The feel of Logan breathing rhythmically against Alec soothed secret places deep within him.

Alec peppered Logan's beautiful unmarked nape with light kisses. 

"Thank you."

Alec frowned against a spot between Logan's shoulder blades. "For what?"

"For telling me. Even when you didn't want to."

Alec shrugged, pressing close enough so Logan could feel it. "I didn't really give any details."

"Only details I would ever want," Logan murmured, "Are the ones important to you."

Alec rested his face on Logan's shoulder. His lips traced the edge of the blade. He kissed gently around the stitching that marked the bullet cutting through Logan's body and skimming past his heart. Despite what he said, Alec was glad Logan might not scar.

Their bodies close, Alec's cock slipped between Logan's cheeks. He pulled away, but not before his responding cock brushed over the puckered entrance. The contact ignited charges along Alec's dick. 

Logan shivered.

"Okay?"

"…Cold," Logan mumbled.

Alec tugged the covers over their heads. The blinking yellow light from the lamp vanished.

"Not that cold." Logan pushed the covers away from their heads and shoulders. 

Alec grazed his teeth across Logan's nape. Logan huffed out a chuckle. Alec pulled Logan closer to him and listened to Logan breathe. He fought the drag in his eyelids. He wanted to keep hearing the soft rhythm of life tucked into his body. He wanted to keep hearing it: steady and alive and here.

"You know what really sucks?" Logan said suddenly.

"Hm?" Alec mumbled.

Logan's smirk was audible even in his drowsy voice.

"The no sex part. That sucks."

Alec dropped his forehead onto Logan's shoulder. "Go to sleep, Heather." He felt Logan's amusement shaking against him. Alec huffed as he shimmied closer. 

Prickly segments of surgical thread scratched Alec's chest and belly.

Alec froze.

_Bullets and their trajectories punching through car and muscle, the tang of copper saturated in the car, the feel of blood and glass hot on his knees, it didn't stop, he couldn't get it to stop, what was SOP for this, why wouldn't it stop, he could feel his breath stuttering as it faded, nonono, this can't happen, why did he let this happen…_

Suddenly, Alec couldn't breathe. His mind ran images over and over again. His limbs locked, rendered non-operational, reboot, reboot. What the hell?

His fingers felt sticky with blood. Alec thought he could feel Logan's bones move against him, breaking, snapping and shifting. He wanted to tug Logan to him. He wanted to pull away from Logan before he hurt him further. He wanted to run his hands over Logan to feel him breathe and feel his heart beat against him. He wanted to jump back before his weight crushed Logan.

Alec stopped himself before he roll away and unbalanced Logan off his side. Logan was tucked in, acquiescence to the curve of Alec's body. Logan was curled, loosely fetal like, still, motionless, dead—

"Alec?" Logan roused, alerted to Alec's tension. 

"I-I, ah," Alec stammered. He eased Logan onto his back. He inwardly cringed at the keen hazel eyes skewering him. He smoothed a hand over Logan's hair. "Maybe I should sleep in the guest room after all."

Logan brushed his knuckles down Alec's hip. They withdrew when Alec flinched.

"You need your rest," Alec rambled on. His nostrils flared at the scent of blood that wasn't really there. He gripped Logan's shoulders. "I might squash your skinny ass or something." Alec could hear himself; it sounded like both a plea and an apology.

Logan wrapped his hands around Alec's elbows, stilling him. He stared up at Alec. His expression gave nothing away, yet Alec could hear Logan's "Why?" loud and clear. 

Alec pressed a kiss on Logan's mouth. He retreated before Logan could deepen it. Logan made a frustrated noise. Alec wished it was in him to stay. But the walls were shrinking around him and he could still hear the sirens wailing above him. He could still feel Logan's blood weeping between his fingers.

"I'll see you in the morning," Alec managed. He kissed Logan one more time, a chaste touch on Logan's forehead and he rose to his feet. He could feel Logan watching him, still saying nothing as Alec padded out of the bedroom with the taste of blood and bile in his mouth. 

 

_Tick, tick, tick…_

_He could hear the stopwatch._

_Alec harshly exhaled as he settled behind Logan. His nostrils flared at the thick, cloying stench of copper. His body automatically hunched forward, pressing his chest, his hammering heart against Logan's shoulders. Logan felt cold. Logan felt like he was shrinking in front of Alec. Soon, there wouldn't be anything left._

_"Hold on," Alec managed. He took a deep breath. And another. Logan felt both heavy and light against him._

_Alec's arm eased away when he felt Logan's Adam's apple bob brush against his forearm._

_Tick, tick, tick…_

_Fuck, he can't do this. He can't. What the hell are you thinking, 494?_

_"You okay?" Logan rasped after a beat._

_Alec huffed out an unsteady laugh. "Shouldn't that be my line?" He rewrapped his arm around Logan's throat. He swallowed when he felt Logan swallow._

_Phil has both hands piled on top of Logan's thigh, but blood still leaked out between his fingers._

_The sight of it reminded Alec of the time. And how little there was._

_"M-maybe we don't have to do this? The a-ambulance should be here soon," Phil stammered. He shot Alec a wide eyed look. The skin above his upper lip was white, bloodless. It made the rest of Phil's face look mottled._

_Logan made a sound, interpreting Phil's panicked look he gave Alec. His head slipped to rest in the crook of Alec's shoulder._

_"It's okay, Alec."_

_But it wasn't okay. Alec spared a moment to bury his face in the back of Logan's head, a parody of an embrace, an illusion where Logan sat between Alec's legs, back flushed to Alec's chest, panting because he'd been laughing too hard, not because he was bleeding out in a shitty tool shed on a shitty dock._

_The stopwatch sped up in Alec's ears. It drowned out Logan's ragged breathing._

_"Don't try to hold your breath," Alec whispered into Logan's ear. He butted up his wrist under the soft spot on the chin. "It's instinctual; your body will want to conserve air as soon as it's cut off. Don't fight it. The pressure could damage your lary—" He swallowed._

_"You don't need to do this," Logan rasped. He weakly lolled his head until his nose bumped into Alec's throat. "My leg…"_

_"Will hurt like hell and your body is going to feel that no matter what." Alec kissed Logan's temples. His arm shrank tighter under Logan's throat. "Just relax into it."_

_Alec could feel Logan's pulse beating fast, too fast against his arm. It felt like a bird, its wings whipping frantic under a cat's paw._

_Tickticktick…_

_Logan seemed to sense Alec's churning thoughts; he shakily raised a hand and smoothed it across Alec's forearm._

_"I trust you," Logan whispered. He was already fading, pulled under by the flow of blood and the vise under his chin. "Alec, it's okay…I lo—"_

_The stopwatch boomed into a roar; a thousand angry wasps are hissing at the sight. He heard Logan. He heard himself. He heard Phil choking as if in sympathy. Yet, Alec didn't hear anything; not for sure._

_Logan's words, barely whispered, barely audible, stayed even as Logan sagged heavily against Alec. It was an echo of impossible words._

_Alec breathed out harshly. He held Logan a second longer; he probably shouldn't have done that. He glanced over at Phil. Phil gaped at him._

_"Is—is he…" Phil thankfully didn't finish._

_Alec eased his arm out from under Logan's jaw. His chest seized when Logan's head lolled and tucked against Alec's throat. He wanted to curl an arm around the head, fold over Logan and chant, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."_

_Instead, Alec eased Logan to slump against Phil, who still pressed down on Logan's leg with bleached knuckles and an ashen face._

_"Keep pressure on his leg," Alec said, as steady as possible. It sounded cold in his ears. He stumbled to his feet. He wanted to run away from the flat tone. He rested an elbow on a nearby pile of crates. Running wasn't an option right now._

_"I…" Alec clenched his jaw and tried again. "I'm going to check outside to find something to…"_

_To hurt Logan. Again._

_The words dried in Alec's throat. He roughly shook his head. He needed to lean on the crates more than he'd admit as he zigzagged his way to the door. He stumbled (fell) out the door in search of something to hurt Logan._

_Tick tick tick…_

 

Logan's eyes were already focused on him when Alec opened the bedroom door.

Alec gripped the doorknob. It was the only thing stopping him from completely going in. He didn't understand why the bed in the other room felt wrong. He didn't know why he was shaking; he was pretty sure he took his tryptophan on time. He stared at Logan's chest rising and falling. Logan never put back on his shirt. Wasn't he cold? Alec was _freezing_.

"You okay?" Logan carefully sat up with his elbows.

"Funny," Alec rasped. "Déjà vu." At Logan's furrowed brow, Alec shook his head. "Nothing. I uh, it was something from—"

"Before," Logan said it with a clear capital 'B.' "I remember." He exhaled. "I also remember that despite what _you're_ remembering, you didn't hurt me. Not in the way like the others."

Logan was being diplomatic. Still, Alec flinched.

"Are you coming in?" Logan looked like he already knew the answer, though. His shoulders slumped. His voice, however, was casual. Too casual. Alec's eyes dropped to stare at Logan's covered feet on the bed. Maybe he should tuck in Logan's fleece blanket over them as well. 

"Do you feel like pancakes later?" Logan looked at Alec even though the lights were off. Alec wondered if the glare outlining the door behind him bothered Logan.

"I uh…" Alec shrugged. He thought quickly. "13C."

Logan didn't pause. "The Leonards. They were hedge fund managers. Before the Pulse." He smoothed out the blanket over his legs. "Husband and wife were buying up a lot of artwork and jewelry. When the Pulse hit, they said they lost everything, but rumor has it, the funds might have already been depleted by the time the terrorists attacked. They were next on _Eyes Only_ 's radar, but, well, my uncle."

"Your uncle," Alec echoed. He studied the carpet. "Right." Yeah, okay, it was a random apartment Alec blurted out. But there was a sudden urge to help himself to a little culture. A little breaking and entering instead of standing here like an idiot, feeling like all he wanted to do was to watch Logan sleep. What the living fuck? 

Alec screwed up his face into a smirk.

"Think there's a Poll…Poll what was that again?"

"Pollack. Jackson Pollack. No, they were into Van Goghs. Picassos."

"The ones by the guy who chopped off his own ear?" Alec made a face. Because there was no way Logan could see it, he gagged loudly for good measure.

Logan chuckled, strained. "There are a few bankrupted families who could actually use them more than hanging them on a wall."

Alec hummed. "Well, I'm going to 13C. Art appreciation time." He took a step back. "I'll see you in the morning. Gotta stay in practice. Getting a bit rusty from all these good deeds, you know."

"Alec."

Alec froze.

Logan was quiet for so long, Alec thought he went back to sleep. He clung to the door knob, unsure why he didn't just leave.

Out of the darkness, Logan sighed.

"Pancakes?"

"Huh?"

"For breakfast."

Alec nodded and fumbled out a "Sure. Uh. Yum. Later, okay?"

"Sure." Logan didn't ease back into bed. Alec could feel Logan's stare on him, somehow finding him in the dark, as he left.

Alec slipped out the window, trying to ignore the fact that he thought he could hear the stopwatch whispering behind him.

_Tick tick tick…_

 

"At least you didn't throw the kettle at me this time."

Original Cindy's lips pursed into a pretty red pout. She narrowed her eyes, which wasn't as pretty. 

"You thinking of showing your ugly mug in _Jam Pony_ any time soon?" Cindy finally said.

"Ugly?" Alec yelped. "And here I was going to compliment on your slutty leather brasserie outfit!" He ignored Cindy's question. Judging the eyebrow Cindy gave Alec, the omission didn't go unnoticed.

"There was no point upgrading Original Cindy's locks," Cindy grumbled as she wiggled out of her cropped black jacket, "if you're going to keep breaking in anyway." She threw her coat over Alec's head. 

"This is the third night in a row. Don't you sleep?"

Alec grinned cheekily at Cindy out from under her discarded coat as she finished entering her apartment. He sat on her squishy bean bag. It held up for once now that he refilled it with the stuffing from 7B's pillows. Who the hell needs ten down pillows on their bed anyway?

"Stinky feet off our table," Cindy ordered. She kicked his boots crossed at the ankles off the top of her small dining table.

Cindy paused. She did a double table. 

"Like it?"

"What the hell is that?" Cindy glared at the figurines stretched out under the walnut wood table top.

Alec waggled his eyebrows. "Nice, huh? Figured you would appreciate four naked ladies playing Atlas. The Italians were using it to hold up some antique statue, but since there wasn't a statue there anymore, I figured the table needed a new home."

"Classy," Cindy deadpanned.

"I know, right? I particularly like the gold leaf nipples. I think it adds something to your place." 

"Where is Original Cindy's table?" Cindy gestured towards the furniture Alec's feet were still propped on. 

"In Original Cindy's bedroom," Alec quipped. "Figured you and yourself could use it as an end table for your…stuff." His smirk broadened as he added, "The velvet handcuffs are nice, by the way, but maybe you should consider a scar—ow!"

"You're an idiot." Cindy shot over her shoulder as she padded over to the kitchen. 

"I was offering some constructive criticism!" Alec whined as he rubbed the back of his head. "Geez, were you wearing brass knuckles or something?"

"Don't be a baby." Cindy stretched up to the cabinets for the kettle and dented tea canister.

Alec canted his head and watched for a moment with a lopsided smile.

Cindy didn't turn around, but she paused.

"Put your eyes back in your head before we knock them completely out of your skull."

"I'm admiring your jeans! Are they new? They're very flattering."

Cindy offered a one finger reply to Alec's observation over her shoulder.

Alec rested his chin on his fist as he tracked Cindy going from stove to fridge. The sounds of mugs and dishes reminded him of Logan, for some reason. He smiled sloppily at Cindy.

"I left some samosas and kebabs in the fridge," Alec called out. "The Indian Consulate had a fancy shindig tonight because they brought the Needle."

"That dump? What are they going to do with it?" Cindy reached for the large bag of free finger food in the fridge. She hummed approvingly after a peek inside.

Alec shrugged even though Cindy couldn't see it. "Scrap metal? Who cares?"

Cindy scoffed but didn't comment. She also didn't comment on Alec in her apartment at 0200 hours. Or that he brought back enough food to last her a week. Again.

The city outside was quiet for once. No sirens. No crying. No screaming. Alec wished it meant things were getting fixed; broken things were becoming unbroken. The bad guys finally took pity on _Eyes Only_ and gave Logan the night off.

"Max used to go up on that Needle," Cindy said, subdued. "Said the city looked decent from up there. Like it wasn't as messed up as we know it really is."

Alec made a face. He didn't want to think about how he liked to go up to the rooftop of Logan's building. He didn't want to think he had that in common with the guy as well as having an overpriced DNA cocktail and Logan.

"Said the height helped to think things out." Cindy shrugged. "Something about a new perspective. High up thinking."

"I get that," Alec said reluctantly. Yesterday, he was perched on the roof for hours, mentally dismantling the skylight and wondering how he can replace it without Logan finding out. Logan still hasn't commented on Alec rearranging the furniture for better tactical vantage points; Alec has a feeling Logan wasn't feeling particular grateful about it. Hopefully, Logan won't find out about the emergency arsenal Alec tucked in various spots of Mrs. Moreno's place, either. 

"Yeah, you been needing to do a lot of high up thinking?" Cindy squinted at Alec from the kitchen.

"Jasmine tea again?" Alec said instead. He watched Cindy used the tiny silver spoon originally made for caviar (Russian embassy had zero security) to parse out the right amount of tea leaves. 

"Original Cindy is not going out of our way to buy you some fancy tea," Cindy scoffed. She shook the spoon at Alec. "You're stuck with jasmine. If you don't like it, tough."

Alec grumbled under his breath. He folded his arms and rested his chin on them. He watched Cindy as she blew the steam as it rose from Alec's mug. He watched as Cindy skimmed the water with the same spoon; this time, to scoop out the used tea leaves.

"I like jasmine," Alec whispered.

Cindy glanced up. Her mouth curved, uncharacteristically shy. She said nothing as she went back to his mug. She smiled faintly.

Minutes later, Cindy's new table was covered with reheated food, tea and her sake bottle. 

"You ever tried souju?" Alec asked. He reached over to Cindy's side for more lamb kebabs. "I should grab some for you to try. The Confederate Korean Consulate's security is bullshit. I'm thinking of hitting it tomorrow. Want anything shiny?"

Cindy smacked his hand away from her plate. Alec gave her an injured look.

"All right." Cindy took an experimental bite out of one small golden puff. She fanned it before popping the rest in her mouth. "Spill. What's with all the late night five finger discount shopping?"

"I'm bored. It's been nothing but do-goody work all week."

"Uh huh."

Alec took his time to sniff his tea. It smelled floral, faintly foreign and everything Manticore disapproved off. Back then, coffee was acrid because it was coffee. Tea was bitter because it was tea. They didn't serve it in chipped mugs. They didn't fish out the leaves before the tea overbrew. 

The mug vaguely burned Alec's palms when he curled them around the ceramic surface. He pursed his lips and tentatively took a sip. He made a face and pulled the mug closer to blow at the surface. Unlike Logan, Alec couldn't gulp down scalding drinks. 

Alec's mouth quirked. 

One time, Logan was so desperate for his caffeine fix, he grabbed Alec's mug, mumbled an apology and guzzled the damn thing down. When the coffee was emptied, Logan finally pulled his face out of the mug. Only to find he drank so fast, the steam had fogged up his glasses. 

Alec's smile faded. He swirled the contents in his mug. 

When Alec looked up, he found Cindy studying him over the sake bottle she tipped into her mouth. 

"How's Logan?" Cindy said abruptly.

Alec blinked. "Logan? Fine. He says he's all right."

"He says? You don't believe him?"

Alec frowned. "What? No, of course, I belie—he's got my blood running around inside him. Doc released him back into the wild—criminals, beware—and some of the stitches already dissolved." Alec crammed two crunchy curry puffs into his mouth. He washed down the lump in his throat with a loud slurp of tea. 

"Logan's great. He's even gone back to making the bad guys cry. He's fine. He's completely fine. Fantastic, even. Especially in those gray sweats. They cling to everything and I mean _everything_." 

Alec's shoulders sagged under the weight of Cindy's stare. 

"He's fine," Alec mumbled.

"Uh huh." Cindy nudged the kettle towards him.

Alec stared at it for a moment before he refilled his mug. 

"He's completely healed," Alec insisted. "Hell, he was all nice and sweaty doing his PT this morning. He was groaning and moaning like some sexless porno. He didn't relapse or sprung a leak or have a heart attack." Not even when he found the K-bar Alec tucked into the crisper drawer in the fridge.

"Why," Cindy murmured, "does it sound like you're trying to convince someone and it's not Original Cindy?"

Alec screwed up his face. He shoved his face into his mug and gulped down half his tea. The amber brew scaled his tongue and burned all the way down. But the lump in his throat wouldn't go away. 

"He even went to see an informant yesterday." Without telling Alec. Alec had paged everybody. Logan rolled in on Alec trying to convince Matt a roadblock around Sector six was necessary.

Alec stared at the dark watery reflection in his cup. "He's back doing _Eyes Only_ business."

"He's giving up on his uncle?"

Alec shook his head. "Nah, but there are still other bad guys out there. Or so he says. Uncle or no uncle, it's back to business." His upper lip curled up. "He's acting like the shooting never happened."

Cindy's brown eyes were dark and knowing. She took a long draw from her sake. She slowly wiped her mouth clean with a few pats of a paper napkin. 

"Maybe because you're acting like the shooting did," Cindy said.

Alec stared at Cindy. "Uh, howdy, it did. Remember? The bullets, the hospital, the exchange of bodily fluids?"

Cindy made a face at Alec. "Original Cindy remembers."

"Well, at least somebody does." Alec hunched over his mug. He scowled into the contents.

"Maybe he's acting like he does not remember because you remember too much for the both of you."

Alec knitted his brow. "Huh?"

Cindy huffed out a sigh. "It's been a week."

Alec shot her a blank look. "And?"

"And you told Original Cindy he's healed."

Alec's head hesitated before slowly bobbing once.

Cindy folded her arms.

"Then why is it still bothering you?"

Alec squinted at her. "Who says it's bothering me?"

"Says all the stolen loot you keep dropping off in Original Cindy's pad."

"They didn't go with Logan's stuff."

Cindy arched an eyebrow at Alec.

Alec's shoulders dropped. He stared at a tea leaf Cindy missed. It bobbed, twirled, refusing to sink to the bottom. He swallowed.

"He got shot. And that bothered me." Alec frowned.

"A lot more than you thought it would," Cindy guessed.

Alec nodded jerkily. "I don't get it. I always knew he was a squishy normal—well, not as squishy as Doc would like—you prick him, he'll bleed. Right?"

"That's what we squishy normals tend to do," Cindy agreed.

"I can deal with that, you know? I can make contingencies so it'll never happen again." Alec tiredly rubbed his face.

"But I keep seeing him like…" Alec's hands flapped uselessly in front of him. He didn't know how to mime out the screwed up, sick twisted metal and blood and the sight of Logan hanging limp off his seatbelt. His hands dropped.

"I keep smelling it, too," Alec whispered. The familiar flutter at the base of his throat returned. He swallowed, trying to push it back. "Sometimes, it's all I can do not to throw up. I think some of my expensive DNA got whacked after what happened." 

"What do you mean?" Cindy asked sharply.

Alec made a face. "I don't know. All of the sudden, I see him covered in blood and I…I can't think. I'm stuck on some messed up repeat." His throat worked. Damn his eidetic memory. 

"And I can't stop thinking about how close he came to buying it. I can't stop. The more I tried not to think about it; the more I do."

Alec absently wiped a sticky palm on his jeans. He was startled to find there was no blood on his jeans or hands. 

"He's not like that anymore." 

"I know! I know, all right?" Alec squeezed the mug in his hands. "I don't get why I can't…" 

Cindy stretched out her foot and nudged Alec until he looked up. He stared blearily at her.

"You really don't get it, do you?" Cindy murmured.

Alec looked at her blankly.

"Original Cindy doesn't know if we should hit you or hug you."

 _Okay_ , Alec was missing something. He covered up his confusion with a weak leer.

"Could it be a hug? Alec likes it when Original Cindy hugs. Especially when Original Cindy's boobs…" Alec snickered at Cindy's scowl. 

"All right. All right, I'll be serious."

"Finally."

Alec sobered. He slowly blew out through his nose. "It's not only that."

"Something else?" 

"Back then," Alec began. He stole a look over to Cindy. Her expression gave away nothing. She sat there, waiting.

Alec shrugged. "He…he probably thought he was going to kick it, you know, or maybe he thought it would be nice for me to hear just in case he…" Alec absently scratched his ear. "I heard it, but I think I wasn't supposed to, but I have awesome hearing and…and it's fucked up, all right? I mean, I was seconds from choking him out and he went around and said…" 

Alec drained his mug. He set it down with a _thump_. 

"Am I supposed to do something about it now? I mean, was I even supposed to _hear_ it? The whole thing is so screwed up, you know? Me, the multimillion secret weapon and I couldn't stop those damn things before they…" Alec gulped.

"And then he said that," Alec finished lamely.

Cindy considered Alec, her mouth pursed.

"Well? What? No 'Original Cindy says' wisdom?"

Cindy shook her head. She refilled Alec's mug, looked at him again and sighed.

" _What_?"

"Original Cindy has no idea what you babbled about."

Alec bristled. "I don't babble."

"Honey, you were hiccupping syllables faster than Sketchy switches girlfriends."

Alec sputtered.

Cindy tossed a wadded up napkin at him. "Look, Original Cindy gets it. Men have issues. It happens. You're not equipped to handle the feeling stuff. Not in your DNA."

" _Excuse me_?"

Cindy snorted. She waved disparagingly at Alec. "Original Cindy keeps to her own team because she can't deal with that."

"I thought it was because you have more for a taste of boo—ow!"

"Shut up. Original Cindy wants to know one thing."

Alec grumbled as he rubbed his reddened forehead. Cindy's aim was improving, damn it. 

"What?" Alec griped, "I might be able to answer despite the concussion you gave me."

"What's the pointing of sticking close to your boy if you're here harassing Original Cindy every night?"

Alec opened his mouth, but he couldn't think of anything to say.

"Normal misses you."

Alec blinked at the non-sequitur. "Okay…uh…ew?"

Cindy rolled her eyes. "Don't you think it's time to get back to work? Logan already did."

Alec scowled. "Tell me about it."

"Don't you think it'll be better if you're not in your boy's face all the time?"

"I'm not in his face all the time," Alec protested. "I'm awesome. That's too much of a good thing for him, you know?" Alec's stomach roiled at the thought of returning to _Jam Pony_ , though. There was too much he needed to do first.

Cindy sat deeper in her chair. She folded her arms across her chest.

"What did you do today?"

Alec blinked. "Uh, he was doing PT in the morning, did a hack at 0100, reviewed the Henshaw file for Matt, found a discrepancy in one of the testimonies and dinner. Pizza. He had two slices."

"Yesterday?"

"He made some calls to a few informants about shipments coming in at 1000 hours, tracked down the manifests that were supposedly from toy manufacturers. Get this, really messed up: these assholes were putting drugs inside toys and—What?"

Alec's brow knitted when Cindy sighed.

"Forget it." Cindy shook her head. She watched Alec gulp down the rest of his tea. She threw a piece of roti at him.

"Hey! That was still edible!"

"You're an idiot."

"Okay, that's gratitude," Alec huffed. He mentally reviewed what he told her, but he didn't see anything missing in his report. He scowled at Cindy.

"After I got you such nice things, too."

"This butt ugly table?"

"It's a lesbian orgy pedestal! From the Baroque period!"

"That thing needs to be broke."

"You are such a philisti—ow, damn it, quit it!"

"Learn to duck. Drink your damn tea." 

 

"All clear?"

Alec hopped off his cycle and trotted over to Matt's car before it came to a complete stop. Logan sat stiffly in the passenger seat because even rich people can't fast track an order for a modified car.

"Nothing but crows!" Phil reported, having gone ahead to do recon. He bounced over to the other side of the vehicle. Literally. Damn exoskeleton whined from the strain.

"Oh yeah?" Alec nodded jerkily at the few stragglers. "What do you call those?"

"Mourners," Matt muttered as he squinted into the distance; not everyone has 20/10 or better vision. "This is a cemetery, you know." 

"This is also entirely unnecessary," Logan groaned.

"It's only a precaution," Alec muttered distractedly for what felt like the hundredth time. He gave one far away mausoleum the stink-eye. A crow flew off it, but it didn't appear to have been startled off by say, a sniper or someone equally as undesirable. 

Alec dragged his scrutiny to the one at their two o'clock. Damn rich people and their freaky ass dead monuments. The grounds were dotted with too many stone structures blocking their line-of-sight. Aren't cemeteries supposed to be flat?

"The memorial service was over a week ago." Logan's mouth pressed thin. "We could have come here then."

Except all of last week it was overcast; perfect for a gunman to crouch low in the shadows.

" _Eyes Only_ has already gone back on the air, but I can't even do a simple thing like pay my final respects to Bennett?"

Alec counted to ten—not that he understood why people did that—he still felt like shouting afterwards. "I told you, I could have gone for you."

"It's not the same. Some things need to be—"

"We're ready whenever you are," Matt abruptly announced. He shot Alec a meaningful look through the driver's window.

Alec felt Logan's frown. He chose to ignore it as he scanned the area once again. 

"I should do a once around," Alec muttered.

"I thought you already did last night," Phil reminded Alec. He smoothed his palms down his long coat, missing the twin frowns Matt and Alec threw his way.

Logan's glare rose a few degrees.

"You checked behind that?" Alec pointed to the small hilltop that cut into the middle of the horizon.

"Twice. Even examined the grass for impressions as ordered." Phil's chest puffed up.

"And you checked those trees at our four o'clock?" Alec pointed to a copse on their right. 

"They're called bushes," Logan muttered under his breath.

Alec flicked Logan a look. It wasn't returned.

"All clear." Phil saluted.

The gesture left a knot in Alec's gut. He frantically waved for Phil's hand to lower.

"I have a spare vest in the trunk," Matt offered.

Next to the detective, Logan sighed. Loudly.

Matt twitched.

Alec pursed his lips. Cemeteries made perfect kill spots: no obstacles, targets tend to be solitary when visiting them and the only witnesses were often only the buried.

Logan, however, was unimpressed with the kernel of information. In fact, he wasn't the first time Alec told him. Two days ago, Doctor Carr was just as unimpressed; he threw Alec out of his office because they were too busy arguing about it to allow him to check on Logan's wounds.

"No vest," Alec decided. "But we should limit the visit to two minutes—"

"It'll take me, at least, two minutes to get there." Logan's jaw set. "Fifteen."

Alec glared at Logan over Matt's head. Matt clutched the steering wheel with both hands. He looked tempted to bang his head on the wheel.

"Five."

The passenger door creaked as Logan struggled out into the wheelchair Phil helpfully got out of the trunk.

The door slammed shut, punctuating Logan's curt " _Ten_."

Matt grimaced. He shook his head when Alec opened his mouth.

"Pick your battles," Matt said under his breath.

Alec's mouth snapped shut.

A breeze drifted by them. A crumpled flyer tumbled helplessly in its wake. The graveyard was surprisingly well kept despite the Pulse. It looked like someone's private park with its benches and its stone pathways. The grass around the gravesites rustled. They were high up on one of the many hillsides that made up the place. 

Another wisp of Seattle's wind sailed past them; it smelled damp and faintly metallic, promising yet again more rain. Alec's keen hearing caught fragments of faraway weeping whenever the breeze changed direction.

Next to the car, Logan struggled to pull his legs into the leg rests.

Matt quietly cleared his throat.

"I've been watching the money ever since _Cale Industries_ accounts were released." Matt's arm rested on top of the steering wheel, partially blocking part of his profile. His eyes darted left and right out the windshield.

"Yeah?" Alec kept one eye on the other side of the car. Logan was politely declining Phil's offer to push him to the plot. 

"A hundred grand from an operating fund was wired out yesterday." Matt's mouth flattened. "Couldn't follow the money. The trail bounced off too many places." 

Alec darkened. "Sounds like a down payment for a hit." 

"Same thought crossed my mind. You think it was Jonas?" Matt was watching Logan as well. Logan seemed aware of the double scrutiny. He didn't turn around, but his posture was rigid enough to thrum a sympathetic ache between Alec's own shoulders. Logan focused with intensity to whatever Phil rambled on about.

Alec's stomach clenched as he watched Logan out of the corner of his eye. He glanced up at the sky. The bright blue horizon was reassuring; it meant he would see an ominous black dot approaching. Nevertheless, he wanted to tell Phil to push Logan back into the car. He wanted to tell Matt to drive, keep driving until the crawling sensation under his skin went away.

"No," Alec said out of the side of his mouth. He took a steadying breath. His stomach calmed; the urge to put some space between him and everything around him faded. Sort of.

Alec narrowed his gaze towards a bow backed elderly woman twenty four meters away. Inside, his stomach clenched again. He didn't relax until she shuffled away. 

"You all right?" Matt asked quietly.

Alec nodded jerkily.

Matt's mouth thinned. "Have you been sleeping? Because you look—"

"His uncle already knew where Logan lives and that he was _Eyes Only_ ," Alec said quickly. He ignored the knitted brow Matt cast his way. 

"If he wanted to get rid of Logan, he would have directed a hit to his place or rat _Eyes Only_ out to his partner." The idea bothered Alec, enough so he had tried to convince Logan the efficacy of permanently sealing the windows shut. Or better yet, relocating. Logan didn't immediately veto the idea. Still, each day Alec watched Logan do his _Eyes Only_ hack with his stomach roiled into knots while he guarded the vulnerable windows against a possible breach.

"So there's definitely a partner." Matt's jaw clenched. "Someone else was pulling the strings." 

Alec's jaw set. "It's starting to look like it. This means his uncle wasn't behind the first attacks on his own son or Logan. Whoever is in this with him could be the real guy calling the shots." Logan found the theory reassuring; Alec didn't.

"Those Red soldiers you told me about?" Matt frowned to himself. "Think they're still around? Think the money's for them?"

Alec's jaw clenched. "Logan thinks so." Alec _knew_ so, but it was hard to do anything about it if Heather insisted on going out to meet informants, harass his uncle and visit dead people. No fun for Logan Cale. Bad guys needed to be caught. Fight the fight. Blah blah woof woo— 

"Are you two done talking like I wasn't here?"

Alec turned but only caught Logan's stiff back as he steered his chair towards the rows of stone slabs and mausoleums. Phil hopped from foot to foot, anxious brown eyes darting from Alec to Logan. He came to a decision, hastily saluting Alec and Matt before he scrambled after Logan to catch up. 

There was an urge to make a face at Logan, but knowing the guy, he'll probably know Alec did it even without turning around. 

Matt climbed out of the car. He stood shoulder to shoulder with Alec, copying his vigilant stance staring out into the cemetery. 

"Everything okay with you two?" 

"Peachy," Alec muttered.

"You sure?"

"Can't you tell?" Alec gestured jerkily towards Logan. His stomach flipflopped when he noted how much distance now stretched between them. He wanted to call them back. "We're a fucking barrel of puppies and sunshine."

Matt shot Alec a look but said nothing.

"Everything's fine. We're back in business taking down the bad guys twenty four seven." Alec tensed when Logan's wheelchair rolled over uneven ground. There was a moment when it looked like Logan's chair was going to tip back. Damn it, Logan only got it three days ago. Alec repeatedly told him they should test it out a few more days before using it outside. 

Logan corrected course. He didn't turn around, but Alec saw Logan nodding reassuringly to Phil.

"What I meant was," Matt continued, "Lately, things have been strange."

"Yeah. I don't know what's up with him lately," Alec grumbled. "At first, I thought it was because he missed the service, but that was last week. Or that we haven't…" He hastily cleared his throat. "He's been getting grouchier and grouchier every day."

Matt grunted. 

"Maybe he's missing his daily intake of taking down bad guys? We have been scaling back. He's been hitting the weights double time even though the Doc told him to take a break from them. Maybe he's bored? Maybe there's some sort of quota martyrs follow like you guys with those tickets—and don't tell me there's no quot—"

"Actually," Matt interrupted, "I was talking about you."

Alec shot Matt a baffled look. 

"Original Cindy called me a few days ago." Matt tapped rhythmically on the car roof. "Said you called in sick. Again. You haven't gone back in _Jam Pony_ since Logan was shot." He paused when Alec grimaced. "You haven't gone into work for over a week."

"Man," Alec complained. "Did you guys meet up for a beer or something to gossip about me?"

"It was because she needed something official to give your boss to cover for you."

Alec bit his lower lip. "Oh."

Matt exhaled. 

Alec watched Logan reach Bennett Cale's marker. It was a temporary stone slab, a morbid bookmark for some fancy statue to be planted there later. Something to show everyone and no one in particular that Bennett Cale was buried here. Uh huh. Alec wanted to tell Logan time was up. He didn’t want Logan anywhere near proof of what could have been.

"Logan's all right."

"Wish you guys would stop saying that," Alec grumbled. "I can see that."

"But do you believe it?"

Alec flicked a look over to Matt, who stared back unblinkingly. Alec averted his eyes. He quickly went back to his post, his eyes fixed on Logan, routinely scanning their surroundings— _Wait_ , what was moving in the gras—oh. Squirrel.

"This whole thing with Logan," Matt began. He rubbed his chin and heaved a sigh. "What happened to Logan was a shock. To all of us."

_It shouldn't have happened._

"But it did."

Alec started when he realized he said it out loud. 

Matt nodded, more to himself. He curled and uncurled his hand as if testing its strength.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but yes, it happened. It happened no matter how careful we were. And there's a chance it could happen again."

Alec stiffened.

Matt grunted. "I'm sorry, but someone has to say it." He nodded to the far away figures. Alec was sorely tempted to haul them back. 

"There's only so much you can do. You can plan as much as you want, but you're not going to be able to predict everything."

"I was trained in every tactical and—"

Matt shook his head, cutting Alec off. 

"You're still not going to stop everything."

Alec swallowed. "Then what good am I?"

Matt smiled tightly. He suddenly looked older. "You know what? I think we all ask ourselves that at some point." 

Alec tracked Logan. He stared hard, straining his sight, watched every move. His eyes burned.

"He bled," Alec blurted out.

"I know," Matt murmured. "And we all do at some point. Sometimes even more than once. What matters is how we deal with it after."

The words jammed painfully in Alec's ears. They ached. He tugged at one ear.

"Whatever you're doing right now," Matt said carefully, "You think it's to stop Logan from getting hurt again. I know you mean well and I know Logan gets that as well, but…"

Alec's breath hissed out sharply. "I screwed up, didn't I?"

Matt shrugged.

"I was only trying to…" Alec ran a hand through his hair. "Fuck." 

"Go." 

Alec glanced over to Matt. 

"I can watch the grounds from here. This is the only road in or out." Matt nodded towards the shrinking figures up ahead. "You get Phil—"

"Street Sweeper."

Matt responded with an eyeroll. "He can go around the perimeter again. You stay with Logan. Go and—"

"Kiss and make up?"

Matt groaned. "I don't need to know the details. I just don't want to be a buffer between you two again. The drive to get here was like holding a live bomb." Matt scowled.

"Aw," Alec joked weakly, "He wasn't that bad, was he?"

Matt shot him a narrowed look.

"Have you been taking lessons from Original Cindy?"

Matt gave Alec another look.

Alec held up his hands. "I'm going." He slipped his hands into his pockets. 

Matt dropped a hand on Alec's shoulder. "Just remember: Logan's okay."

Alec swallowed as he stared at the far away figures.

"Yeah," Alec whispered. "Okay."

Alec took a deep breath and hurried after Logan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blame the TamiFlu for all the above sap. Sorry.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References previous events within this book. Strong language and violence.

"…but then it turned out it was really aliens in disguise, infiltrating all branches of power so they…"

Alec cast his eyes skyward as he approached. Phil was regaling Logan with what was most likely to be a comic book story. His hands flew in the air like a magician ready to do his abracadabra. 

Phil stopped mid-word, his hands left hanging in the air, his eyes widening when they landed on Alec.

Before Alec could ask, Phil's brown eyes zipped from Alec to Logan and back. The lens on his funny hat lobbed left and right.

"I should take a look at the, ah—trees! They look suspicious! I should—"

"Phil," Alec groaned.

"Bye." With a squeak of gears and a flap of coat tails, Phil fled.

Approaching slowly, Alec nodded towards Logan.

After a blink, his face impassive, Logan turned back towards the grave. 

A breeze feebly snaked around Logan and Alec as if unsure of its welcome. 

Alec glowered over at Phil on the next rise. The guy was taking far too big of an interest in a nearby stone dog set on a monument. It was probably some rich person's pet. It stood on all fours; its snout was pointed to Phil's hat like it was saying, "Look at this crazy thing." Alec could see Phil's eyes surreptitiously watching him and Logan.

A pebble caught under Alec's boot. A sharp flick of an ankle and it bounced off Phil's nose.

Gears squawked loudly as Phil vacated the premises and relocated. 

Five feet away. 

_God damn nosy…_

Turning away to ignore Phil, Alec found he was at a loss for words when faced with Logan's ramrod posture instead. 

Logan leaned forward in his chair; his shoulders were hunched, his eyes were glued to the stone marker set on a mound still damp with dirt. It was too recent for grass to speckle its brown hill with green yet.

"I uh…" Alec rocked on his heels. When another breeze skirted by, he looked around. He swallowed hard. 

The rows of gravestones looked like exposed teeth gaping towards the sky. People drifted from one to another as if unsure. A father held a little girl's hand as she set down a modest bouquet on a cement plaque. A woman unconsciously mimicked the weeping angel bowed over a grave as she covered her face with her wrinkled hands. A boy perched in an older man's embrace peered down at the marker they stood in front of. A man in a green uniform shambled bow-legged as he dragged a mower through the grass. 

Alec stood, knees locked, fists flexing. Every part of him screamed for him to grab Logan and take cover. He felt his breath quickening and his skin snapping too tight around him. The little girl could be hiding a knife. The hunched over woman could really be a man garbed in body armor. Nostrils flaring, Alec fought the urge to lash out yet a part of him railed the effort. His joints ached with the struggle.

Breathing shallowly, his limbs tensed, Alec glanced over. 

Oblivious to the attention, Matt Sung sat on top of his car hood, his eyes shrewd as they scanned the grounds. When the detective's survey reached Alec, he frowned mildly when he caught Alec staring back. Matt shook his head. He waved to their surroundings. He arched an eyebrow and motioned towards Logan. 

Matt was on watch. Phil was on watch.

Alec tried to visualize his limbs relaxing one by one. He shoved shaking hands into his pockets. He exhaled in measured breaths. When his hands steadied, he cleared his throat. He gulped when Logan's shoulders tensed minutely in anticipation. He wiped his chin with a sleeve; he was startled to discover he had been sweating.

The wind that slipped between them was a relief. Alec imagined it carrying the rest of his tension away. He looked over at Matt and nodded. When the detective gravely nodded back, the thrum underneath Alec's skin quieted to something he now could function around.

_It's fine. It's good. All clear, 494. Stand down. Stand down._

"Didn't know a place like this existed." Alec grimaced when he heard his own voice crack in the beginning.

"Nice spot," Alec offered. "Looks like there's even a regular groundskeeper here for the grass and…stuff."

Logan didn't reply. 

Alec swallowed back a sigh. He glanced over to Matt again. He made a face at Matt's "go on" gestures. 

God damn it. Alec wanted to grab Logan and shake him. He wanted to demand Logan to look at him, not at some name carved in stone. He wanted Logan to stop looking like he was the only one there by the marker. He wanted Logan to stop looking like he deserved it, too.

"It's like the Pulse never happened here," Alec fumbled. "I mean, it's clean, doesn't look like anyone came in here to strip anything for cash. That's good. I mean, it's great. It would suck if this place got messed up and…" 

Alec stared at the nylon back that made up the chair. Logan's tattered dark navy satchel hung crosswise. It bulged, its flap not completely over the bag; the bag looked like it was gaping at Alec.

"It's peaceful," Alec finished lamely. He wished Logan would say something; even if to tell Alec to fuck off. Staring at his bag with its open-mouthed expression left a queasy feeling in Alec's stomach.

"I like it. If I ever wanted to be bur—it's nice here."

Beyond Alec's sight, he heard soft crying, begging, actually. A woman. A mother? A wife? Maybe a daughter—Alec bit his lower lip. He was too far away to make out the words, but the grief burrowed deep into his chest. Oddly enough, though, it left Alec feeling hollow. How many had cried like her because of 494? 

Alec cleared his throat to drown out the distant wails of loss. His ear throbbed with the echoes of memory.

"Some of those statues out here are kind of creepy, though." Alec made a face as he considered the closest one to their five o'clock. Its head was bowed, wings unfurled behind it, cool stone hands clapped together and against its carved lips. Ale thought it could be smiling. 

"Those angels with the blank eyes?" Alec checked behind him again at the effigy. "I swear they're moving towards you when you're not looking. Like if I blink, they'll be right up at me, grabbing my ass. That's not a turn on, I mean, seriously."

There was a quiet sound from Logan. It sounded like it could be a laugh or an "I'm-pissed-at-you-but-I'll-acknowledge-your-existence" sort of noise. Alec hoped it was the former. 

"I didn't know his middle name was that," Alec went on hesitantly. "It's, uh…interesting."

Logan grunted. Alec started; it was loud after so much silence.

"Mine's a lot worst," Logan muttered. It was a small concession. Alec took it as a good sign.

"Yeah?" Alec smiled, but when Logan didn't turn around, it dropped. "Think you'll ever tell me?"

Logan scoffed but said nothing else.

Alec studied Logan's back. He then stared at his boots. He wasn't sure what else to say. Sorry? He wasn't sorry. Not really. Not if it meant Logan was alive; pissed off at him or not. 

Fidgeting in place, Alec checked back over to the car again. He started when he found both Matt _and_ Phil sitting on the car hood, watching him expectantly.

"You got to be kidding me," Alec muttered. 

"They're still watching?"

Logan sounded tired but amused.

Alec scowled at them, but the effect was wasted in the distance. "You'd think we were doing a porno."

Logan chuckled under his breath. 

"I mean," Alec continued, "it's no big deal. It's not like we're yelling or screaming, because we're not, you know? It's not like we were fighting or anything." He bit his lower lip again. 

"Are we fighting?" Alec asked softly. "Because I'm kind of in the dark here, babe." 

"About what?"

"I needed some time." Alec reached for Logan, stopped and pulled back his hand. "You were giving me that and I appreciate it, I do and okay, maybe I've been a little weird and mildly psycho lately. I'll admit suggesting you wear a GPS tracker in your shoe was overboard, but you—"

"Sorry," Logan sighed.

Alec blinked. 

Logan didn't turn around, but the rigid set of his shoulder eased a fraction.

The silence stretched; Logan glanced over his shoulder.

Alec had rubbed the back of his neck before he remembered. He dropped his hand.

"Wasn't sure if that was for me or for your cousin," Alec admitted. He took a step forward. When Logan didn't react, he dared to take another step then another until he stood hip to shoulder with Logan.

Logan's posture completely relaxed by the time Alec reached him. He faced the grave again. 

"Both actually," Logan murmured after a long moment. 

"Oh." Alec wanted to slip his arm around Logan's shoulders. He wanted to warm his palm slipping across Logan's broad back. He wanted to feel Logan breathe against him. He wanted…

"I'm not sorry," Alec blurted. Inwardly, he cringed, but he plowed ahead anyway. "I know you're pissed about all the extra security and precautions, but I'm not sorry about it." He breathed out between his teeth.

"I just…I don't get it. You seemed okay with giving me time, but lately, you've been—all right, me staying out at night every night was a dick move on my part, but you didn't have to be—"

Logan exhaled slowly. "I'm not angry." He rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. 

Alec's brow furrowed. "You're…you're not?" He pulled at the fraying hem of his t-shirt and watched it unraveled in his fingers.

"I don't get it, then," Alec confessed. 

"I'm not pissed at you."

"You could have fooled me." Alec spread his arms wide. "Monday, you acted like, I don't know, when I asked if your back was bothering you. You acted like I kicked a kitten. Yesterday, you nearly bit my head off when I offered to spot you during your exercises and just now, anything any of us said was the wrong thing." 

Alec's arms rose higher before dropping. His shoulders sagged along with them.

Logan appeared chagrined. "I wasn't aware I came off angry or pissed."

"Well, you didn't look like you were yipeeing over something either." Alec turned on his heel to pace, but he couldn't bring himself to take two steps too far from Logan. He spun back, facing Logan. He opened up his palms in surrender.

"You said you weren't mad, but you looked like you were one word short of shouting. I…" Alec sat down by Logan's feet with a _thump_. He stared up at Logan. 

"You got to give me something here, babe. How did I screw up?"

"You didn't screw up," Logan said with feeling. He sagged back into his chair, slumping over and appearing as tired as his voice sounded.

"I'm not angry with anyone in particular. Not you, especially. If anything, I'm pissed off at the world for having a laugh at my expense."

Alec's frown deepened. "That didn't clear things up."

Logan tapped a fist on his thigh, lost in thought. He visibly struggled for words. 

Alec wiped his palm over his mouth. It didn't completely muffle the frustrated huff he made.

"Babe," Alec said. He winced at the plea in his voice. "Help me out here."

"Do you remember when we first met?"

Alec paused, momentarily taken aback by the change in topic. "You mean when you caught me breaking and entering and molesting your Baroque lesbian vases?"

Logan chuckled weakly. "Yes." He shot Alec a sideways look. "You didn't treat me like…well…"

"Like I wanted to stick my tongue down your throat?" Alec patted Logan on the knee. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I only hid it better then."

Logan leaned back in the chair. His hands moved up and down his dark jeans. His eyes seemed to fog over, lost in thought.

Alec stilled, his eyes glued to Logan's hands running down the thick muscles of his thighs as if they were ironing out whatever was trapped underneath. 

A memory intruded; legs banging into the underside of a desk. 

Alec's throat worked.

"I never treated you like you were helpless in the wheelchair." Alec slipped a hand over Logan's, stilling them. "Because you're not helpless." 

Alec brushed his thumb over Logan's knuckles. "The chair, that's not what I associated you with. I saw only you, not the chair."

"Then," Logan agreed. He slanted weary eyes at Alec. "But these days…"

"No, not just then. Now as well. Look, okay, I've been a little much the past few days." Alec smiled faintly when Logan arched an eyebrow towards him. "Okay, intense. I was intense."

"You wanted to build a place to hide my gun in the _shower_."

Alec dropped his head on Logan's lap. When he felt Logan's fingers tentatively touching his hair, the tightness in Alec's chest eased.

"It was that damn movie you once showed me," Alec grumbled, "where the guy hid his gun in the toilet? It got me thinking: what if crazy South African assassins broke in while you were showering and you couldn't get to the bazooka under the sinks—"

"Wait, there's a _bazooka_ under the sinks?"

Alec lifted up his head. He grinned. "Nope. See? I could have done a lot worse." He sobered at Logan's hooded expression.

"I never thought you were helpless. Never. All this…it wasn't because I thought you were helpless. Hell, you pulled my ass out of the fire more times than you realized. After what happened…" Alec's throat worked. He inwardly gagged at the remembered tang of blood in the air. 

"I always thought one day my luck was going to run out; Manticore was going to find me and…" 

The vise around Alec's chest returned.

"But it's not just Manticore. There are other things now. And not only gunning for me," Alec whispered, his throat constricting. "People sending drones, tricked out paid assassins, I…" 

Alec bit his lower lip. " _I'm_ the one who didn't get to you in time, stop that bullet, stop the bleed—" His lower lip stung as his teeth drew blood. "I couldn't stop them. What if I can't stop the next time?"

Logan exhaled. "Alec, we don't know if there will be a next time."

Alec shot Logan a disbelieving look.

Logan conceded with a sigh. "All right. Chances are there will be a next time. But soldiering my windows shut or hiding guns under the cushions isn't going to stop it from happening again."

"I know. I know, but I didn't think it was actually going to happen. We've been careful." Alec kept his head down. He soaked in the heat of Logan's body. Logan's legs were surprising warm today, even through the denim. Alec palmed the bend under Logan's knee. The solid feel of Logan's body soothed him. It felt easier to breathe.

"What happened took us by surprise," Logan agreed. "Including myself. I was so used to the anonymity of _Eyes Only_ , I let it lulled me into thinking I—we, were safe from such things."

"We're not," Alec said harshly. "Especially if I don't stop it next time."

"You? Alec, you just finished telling me you don't think I'm helpless, yet you're taking it upon yourself to do everything."

"I have to."

"You _have_ to? Alec, I don't understand why you believe you're the one to—"

"Because I can't fail again!"

Logan stilled. 

Realization rose behind Alec's eyes as soon as the words registered to his own ears. It was a punch to his gut. 

Alec rocked back on his heels. 

The understanding in Logan's eyes was suffocating. Green and gold and brown skewered Alec. Alec felt gouged, chunks of him chipped off to expose shit that shouldn't even be there in the first place.

"Alec." Logan sounded pained. Alec averted his eyes. "You didn't fail anything."

Alec roughly shook his head.

Logan turned his hands until they held Alec's in a bone crushing grip. 

"Alec," Logan repeated, sharper, "You didn't fail."

"I watched those things punch holes in your car and you," Alec bit out. "I saw you bleed out." 

_So much blood, a red halo under Logan's leg, life weeping away. Alec gagged at the thick metallic stench of blood clogging up his throat._

"I watched your heart give out in that ambulance."

_The monitor wailed, louder than the sirens, the blue line flat, LED numbers counting lower too fast to read._

_"Shit!" Carr yanked a drawer. Wrapped instruments tumbled out in his wake. They fell left and right of Carr._

_The monitor was still screaming for anyone's attention._

_"I thought you said this was working!" Alec shouted, unable to move, tethered to the crimson line that connected his vein to Logan's. He could see Logan's eyelids twitching, eyes moving rapidly in contradiction to a heart moving slowly._

_"The bullet wound on his shoulder…must have ricocheted…"_

_The explanation was garbled behind Carr's frantic hands, the heart monitor's wails, the ambulance's sirens and the pounding in Alec's ears._

_"Do something!" Alec shouted._

"I watched the Doc try to keep you with us; you lost so much blood. Did you know it took two tries to bring you back? If he hadn't…" Alec gulped.

" _I'm_ the one who's helpless." Alec was the one who watched Logan ram his car into the drone. He was the one who watched Rachel get in the car. He did nothing. He could only watch. And fail. 

Logan hunched over Alec's head. He stroked the marked nape with a knuckle.

"You can't die." The words felt like they scraped Alec's throat raw. His eyes burned.

Logan shushed Alec.

"I guess that's probably why I've been hyper vigilant—I kept seeing you like…" Alec sharply sucked in his breath.

"You're so god damn human and real and you bleed—why the hell did you have to bleed like that? I couldn't stop it. The only way was—God, the smell, if I had screwed up, if the cauterizing hadn't worked, you would have—No, I already messed up. _I was supposed to have your back, damn it._ "

Logan carded a hand through the short strands of Alec's hair.

"You…" Alec pressed a kiss on Logan's hands. "I couldn't function when this happened. Every time I touched you, it all came back: the blood, having to choke you, the ambulance ride. All I could do was be your blood donor. That's it. I couldn't do anything else. All I could do was wait for you to get out of surgery, wait for you to wake up, wait for you to heal and I thought…"

Logan rested his chin on top of Alec's head. Alec should get up before Logan's lower back bothered him again. But he stayed on the grass, his arms wrapped around Logan's calves, his face tucked against Logan's stomach.

The cemetery was quiet around them. Even the winds fell mute to Alec's harsh breathing. Logan's steady breath was a metronome; in and out, in and out. Alec felt the fluttering in the base of his throat calming.

"I didn't know about the ambulance," Logan murmured.

"Yeah," Alec rasped, "I figured no point in telling anyone since you didn't die. Thanks for that, by the way."

Logan stroked the back of Alec's head. His fingers pressed carefully into Alec's scalp.

"You know I can't make promises the rest of the world is trying to make me break." Logan kept carding his fingers through Alec's hair. "I don't like seeing you with a target on your back either: from a hoverdrone, from Manticore, from anyone. I know how you feel. Most of the times, it feels like all I have is this wheelchair and I can't do anything for you."

Alec made a protesting sound.

"No, wait. Hear me out." Logan straightened up with a stifled groan. He shook his head when Alec frowned. He redirected Alec's attentions to the stone face with a weary gesture of a hand.

"I see Bennett's name on that stone and I can't help thinking if only…"

"You out of that chair wasn't going to save your cousin." Alec stared at the gray and black speckled stone under Logan's feet. He winced at the date of birth and death. 

"Your uncle's mysterious partner. If he hadn't made the call, maybe your cousin would still be here. Maybe not. Whatever happened was on them. Chair or no chair wouldn't have changed that." 

Logan nodded to himself; he didn't appear entirely convinced, though.

Alec leaned against Logan's chair. He curled a hand around a thin ankle. He smoothed a thumb over the skin stretched over bone. The warmth tingled. He slipped his hand higher into Logan's jeans until he palmed the lower part of Logan's calf.

"Sorry," Alec mumbled. He rested his cheek on Logan's knees. "I didn't mean to make you feel like…you know."

"Alec, I told you I wasn't mad about that."

Alec grunted. "You should have been. I'm not sure why you're not."

Logan's hand drifted from Alec's hair to the curve of his ear and back. "I don't know. I think a part of me figured it was bound to happen sooner or later: that you'll see me as…" The shrug was audible in Logan's exhale.

That, Alec decided, was worse. He kneaded Logan's calf.

"Never going to happen," Alec said as he tried to work the corded muscles to relax. Damn, he knew Logan overdid his session yesterday. "You can't fool me. You're as badass as me. Almost as hot, too."

"Thank you," Logan said dryly, "As usual, you humble me with your modesty."

Alec snickered. When Logan chuckled under his breath with Alec, it felt like the air lightened around them. Alec soaked in the sounds. He imagined them burrowing under his skin for safe keeping. 

"So what was it then?" Alec murmured.

Logan made a questioning sound. He traced the soft line of hair on Alec's nape with a stroking finger. Alec pressed into the touch writing out invisible signs of possession on his skin.

"You. This whole week."

"Me?"

"You said you weren't pissed off at me. So what were you really upset about?"

Logan's fingers stilled.

"Who said I was angry about anything?"

Alec loathed pulling away from the hand. He twisted until he could meet Logan's bleak eyes. 

"I admit I went overboard guarding that cute ass of yours, but…" Alec brushed a palm down Logan's side. He could feel the tension tight against Logan's ribs as if he was poised to jump. 

"These past few days," Alec went on, "you've been…" He shrugged. "Intense in your own way. Not hide a gun in every corner, waiting for an attack kind of way. But like we already were under attack." 

Logan stared past Alec to the stone marker. "That's pretty much it."

Alec recaptured Logan's hands. He kissed the knuckles, holding tight as he murmured, "Liar."

Logan's hands twitched inside Alec's grip.

"You're a careful son of a bitch, Logan Cale." Alec didn't let go of Logan's hands, ignoring the tug within his grasp. "You're always prepared like you're under attack. But this time, you seem…" His brow knitted.

"Distracted? PMS-ing? Touchy? I don't know. Sometimes you seemed pissed off; sometimes you seemed to be everything else."

Alec finally released Logan's hands. His mouth crinkled sadly when those hands fled to curl around the side rims. 

"What is it?" Alec wrapped his hands around the wheels as well. It felt like a tug-of-war he couldn't risk Logan winning. "What's running around in that head of yours?"

Logan smiled tightly. "I have an uncle who blames me for his son's death, I have a family legacy possibly gained from blood, I have numerous people trying to kill me and to top it off, my…" Something flickered across Logan's face. Thinner, drawn; Alec realized now they haven't faced each other this close for days. When did Logan look so tired? 

Logan laughed under his breath. It sounded hollow. It sounded like the first time they met. 

A cold thread wound around Alec's gut. He gripped Logan's hands tight around the rims.

"Logan," Alec pleaded. 

Logan opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He leaned forward and kissed Alec's brow.

"It's fine, Alec. I get this way sometimes. Remember?"

Unfortunately, Alec did. He wished he didn't. He wished shit like this was a distant memory by now for both of them. 

The answer didn't quell the churning in Alec's gut, though. If anything, his insides roiled with the ballooning thought that Logan was lying. This wasn't one of Logan's _moods_. This wasn't Logan feeling the wheelchair weighing him down. And it sure as hell wasn't about Alec doing everything possible to keep even a god damn cold away. 

"I wish you wouldn't," Alec muttered, almost to himself. "Bad guys, I can punch. Yea, no big. But I can't hit the bad guys in your head, babe."

"I'm not asking you to."

Alec blinked hard. He stared at their hands wrapped tightly on the rails.

"What if I want to?" Alec whispered.

"It'll pass, Alec. It…it did before." Logan pulled free from Alec's grasp and moved them to Alec's shoulders. 

"Sorry I made you think I was angry at you or, well…" Logan shrugged. His eyes didn't match the twist of his lips.

Hell, _Logan_ didn't match the smile, but Alec didn't dare point it out. Not yet. Not when it felt like a truce was offered, weapons lowered, hands extended, walls dismantled brick by brick.

Alec wasn't sure who was more surprised: himself or Logan when he reached up and wrapped his arms around Logan.

Logan stiffened at first. Alec tried to copy what Cindy did for him that night: arms completely around the shoulders, Logan's face tucked to the curve of his neck, their bodies close enough to feel each other breathing. While there were no boobs involved, Alec hoped it still felt nice, in the strange way Cindy's did back at the hospital.

With a soundless groan, Logan sagged into Alec's hold. But Alec could still feel tension under Logan's skin. 

Alec held Logan tighter. A stupid thought trickled in; maybe if he squeezed tight enough, Logan's veneer of "I'm okay, you're okay" bullshit would crack. 

"I'll be all right," Logan murmured.

It sounded like Logan was trying to convince himself more than Alec. Alec's fingers dug into Logan's shoulders.

"Damn right, you will be," Alec said into Logan's hair. He squeezed his eyes shut and held on. He felt Logan's arms hesitantly going up. The arms hovered uncertainly then wrapped around to hang on for dear life. 

"It'll pass, Alec." Logan breathed deep. Alec thought it felt like Logan was trying to ground himself on Alec's scent. Alec copied him, but his chest seized when he discovered he could barely make out the woodsy mix of coffee and ink on Logan. Logan felt threadbare in his arms, shrinking away. 

Alec crushed his face to Logan's throat to cover the reed thin sound wiggling out of his throat.

Logan eased free. He smiled faintly. He brushed a hand over Alec's hair. He looked like he wanted to say something more, but he shook his head after a beat.

Alec's lips twisted to mimic Logan, but deep down, his insides knotted. 

"It doesn't feel like we resolved anything," Alec murmured. 

"There wasn't anything to resolve." Logan waved towards himself. "There's no problem. Well, except for the usual ones."

Alec bit back a retort. He stamped down the urge to push, to demand. The more he thought about it, the more he realized this wasn't about some dark and twisted mood or about the need to gather Logan up and tuck him away somewhere safe. Logan appeared convinced it was a non-issue but watching Logan fight to keep a reassuring smile on his face made something bleed deep inside Alec.

"So," Alec struggled to keep his voice light, "Was this technically a fight?"

"No, I don't think so." Logan brushed his thumb down Alec's bar code. He stroked the vertical lines. Alec leaned into the touch. "I don't think this count. You were mildly _psycho_ , as you put it, and I was just in one of my…moods."

Alec snorted. "I saw you in Matt's car on the way over here. The guy looked ready to jump out of the car."

Logan cleared his throat. "I'll admit I was a bit…irritated at you; all the precautions seemed excessive to me."

" _A bit_? He was mouthing 'Save me' to me in the side mirror."

Logan pinched Alec's ear.

"Bitch." Alec flapped a hand towards Logan. 

Logan apologized with a ruffle of Alec's hair. He chuckled when Alec grumbled and pretended to squirm away.

"Hey…Are, are we good?" Alec cringed at the hopeful tone in his voice.

"Alec." Logan's smile looked less forced now. "I don't think we were ever bad."

Alec's stomach did funny flips. "Great. So, this wasn't a fight then?" He pretended to sigh. "That's a shame."

Logan's eyebrow rose.

Alec pouted. "I was hoping it meant we would have make up sex now."

Logan blinked.

"I heard it can really be hot." Alec waggled his eyebrows at Logan. "After all, Doc gave you the all clear yesterday—"

"Day before."

"Day before. Right. Wow. Two days ago, huh?" Alec could feel Logan's fingers playing down the line of his spine. He could feel the teasing touch even through his shirt.

"Well…I suppose we could regard this as a fight and we reconciled," Logan fumbled.

"Screw reconciling. When can I get you naked and my hand on your ass?"

Logan's mouth twisted into a smile that finally reached his eyes. "You were the one cock blocking yourself. All residents in my building received a security memo this morning. Apartments 14J, 7G and 9P; all in the same night?"

Alec smiled sheepishly. "It was either that or stare at you sleeping all night. By the way, you really gotta do something about that drooling and snoring thing you got going there. Not sexy at all, Heather." Actually, Alec often caught himself grinning stupidly at the snuffling wheezing noises Logan breathed over Alec's shoulder at nights. God, Heather could be an adorable goof at times.

Logan's hand curled around Alec's nape, over the bar code and a tension Alec often tried to ignore, evaporated under the shield of Logan's palm. 

Alec arched into the touch. "Missed you."

Logan gently massaged Alec's neck. "I missed touching you."

Alec bit his lower lip.

"I missed kissing you."

Alec caressed Logan's ankle under his sock. He traced the faint blue line. He wished Logan could feel Alec writing promises on it.

Logan fidgeted. 

"I missed tasting you," Logan whispered. He sounded breathless.

"Ditto," Alec rasped. His eyes slid shut. "I didn't like sleeping in the guest room. The bed was too big."

"How long were you planning to go out pillaging Seattle at night?"

"No more. I'm done. Original Cindy doesn't appreciate my taste in home décor anyway."

Logan winced. "I wasn't aware there were that many things with the naked motif in Seattle."

"Hey! They're not all naked!" Alec butted Logan's hand when the other had the nerve to stop. He leaned into the warm hand as it continued to rub down his neck. "Some of them had strategically placed stuff on their…bits."

Logan quietly scoffed. "Of course. My mistake." 

The two fell silent, but they kept their physical connections: Alec's hand around Logan's ankle and Logan's hand curled loosely yet possessive around Alec's nape. As the sun rose higher above them, Alec focused on the subtle _thump thump_ pulse under Logan's ankle bone. He concentrated on the warmth of Logan's hand. After a moment, his eyes wandered back to the grave marker.

 _Bennett Cale_ , the stone slab read _, husband and son. You are forever missed_. 

The words left an ache in Alec's chest. He studied the typography: thick lettering anchored with serifs, cut with a reverse bevel. The surface was still new enough to have an almost diamond like sheen. Alec wondered how long it would last, though. There was already yellowish pollen collected inside the 'C'. Alec found he couldn't look at it, at the time marking its dominance with stains and wear. He stared at the rest of the epitaph. Forty characters, including spaces and periods, summed up the man's place in life. 

Alec wondered how many characters would sum up his. He started to wonder about Logan's as well, but it left such a knot in his stomach, he hunched forward and ended up staring at the grass instead until the queasiness went away. He wondered what was Logan thinking as he stared at the last evidence of Bennett Cale's existence.

"Sorry about your cousin." Alec stared at the stone marker while idly rubbing circles over Logan's ankle bone. He felt a faint jump under the thin skin. "I know you heard this all before, but I am sorry. He was a good guy. But…" He hesitated.

"You're glad it wasn't me," Logan finished for Alec.

Alec wordlessly nodded.

The breeze came back for an encore, swirling around their bodies, carrying with it the scent of grass, stone and dew. Around them, the whispers and noises of others faded into the background. 

Alec sat by Logan's feet. He thought only of Logan's hand on his neck. Everything else could wait. Logan's touch felt like a piece slotted into place inside Alec. 

Logan's thumb brushed across the bar code one last time before pulling away. The wheelchair rolled back. The scent of grass rose as the treads crushed the blades.

"I'm finished here."

Alec looked over his shoulder at Logan. He said nothing as he rose to his feet. He brushed the grass off his jeans, glanced across and groaned.

A distance away, too far for Logan to notice, but not for Alec, Phil was brandishing two thumbs up towards Alec. Next to the idiot, Matt covered his eyes with a hand, shaking his head.

"I'm afraid to ask," Logan muttered.

Alec flipped them a single finger response; Phil squinted through the lens on his weird hat. He pulled back his headgear and shot Alec a "Huh?" look. 

"Don't ask." Alec gestured Phil to lower his hands, but the guy translated Alec's choppy gestures as a "hurrah" instead. Phil started windmilling his arms in return. He looked like he was trying to take flight. Matt inched away from the enthusiastic flailing.

Alec groaned again. "Seriously. Don't ask." He dropped a hand on Logan's shoulder. He savored the play of muscles he could feel as Logan's arms flexed and worked in steering the wheelchair. The firm, sinewy arms moved with a liquid grace that reminded Alec how strong they were, how warm and broad Logan's hands were cupped around his balls, how the silky feel of Logan's skin always ignited sparks in Alec wherever he touched. 

Heat pooled in the pit of Alec's belly. He gulped.

"So, make up sex?" Alec wheedled. 

Logan mumbled unintelligibly, but Alec caught the tips of Logan's ears pinking. He grinned.

"Never had it before," Alec mused out loud. No one stuck around Alec long enough for it. "Any rules? Should I bring anything to the table? Flowers? Candy? _Extra lube_? Is this where the kinky stuff comes to play? Ooh! Can we finally use the feather?"

Logan's ears reddened further, but he didn't turn around. He grunted as his chair struggled to roll over a stone embedded in the grass. 

"Actually, it only involves _less_ of something. Like clothing." Logan peered over the top of his eyeglasses at Alec.

Alec recovered from stumbling over an invisible pebble. He nearly walked into some freaky ass angel standing over what looked like a stone outhouse.

"Well, d-duh," Alec stammered. "I mean the no clothing part was a g-given." He could see Logan's smirk out of the corner of his eye. The bastard.

"Less is more as the saying goes."A corner of Logan's mouth quirked. 

"I'm all for less is more, zero, in fac—"

Alec wasn't sure if it was the sudden silence from the birds, the scent of something other than grass or stone, or the sudden flash of reflection in his eyes. Maybe it was none of it. Or maybe it was all of it.

It was like a switch. Alec's smirk dropped. His knees slightly bend. His shoulders squared back.

"Company." 

Logan wrenched his hand rims forward. His wheelchair wobbled dangerously over uneven ground as he rapidly steered towards a miniature obelisk that marked the border of the section. It was barely wider than Logan and his chair. It was the only thing within reach. "Alec, we have civilians—"

Alec whipped towards where his gut was screaming _wrongwrongwrong_.

A shadow broke free from a distant mausoleum in breakneck speed towards Matt and Phil. 

Behind the first's hideout, where the flash of light came from, a blur darted out towards Matt and Phil as well. Shit!

Phil straightened up, too far away to see their peeping Toms, but alerted by Alec's gesturing and pointing. Matt slid across the car hood the minute Alec started waving. He threw himself into his vehicle for a gun.

"Down!" Alec hollered. He directed his shout now to the few visitors who stood stock still in confusion. "Get back! Down!"

Another glint. 

Alec abruptly snapped towards the new flash, towards a copse of trees that overrun a maintenance shed, right of Logan. 

Logan spotted it at the same time. He reached behind himself to grab his pack.

Gunfire peppered the grass around Logan.

Logan jerked.

The ground crumpled under bullets as Alec ran. He threw up his arms to his face to shield from the shots. 

_Horizontal, not angled. Not from the sky then. Where, where—there!_

Alec zeroed in on an armed bastard crouched behind a moss covered tombstone past the pillar. Alec could only make out the all too familiar dead eyes. The Red held a sniper rifle and scope.

"Alec!" Logan shouted when bullets razed the ground around Alec's feet. The shooter was a lousy shot at thirty meters. 

Alec lunged across the remaining distance between him and Logan. He almost head butted a wheel in his haste. He grabbed the wheelchair by the hand rims and hauled Logan, chair and all, behind the poor coverage.

"You hit?" Alec demanded. He pressed as close as he could, pinning Logan between his body and the pillar.

"No," Logan grunted. His shoulder jammed awkwardly into Alec's stomach. He twisted at the hip, his arms moving.

Alec crowded in. One of the wheel spokes was rammed painfully against his knee. 

"Stop moving," Alec ordered.

"I need to—" Logan grunted when one shot ricocheted, sending shards across his cheek. "Damn it." 

Stone disintegrated around the edge of the sculpture. Someone past them screamed. 

"I can honestly say," Logan gritted out as he pressed his shoulder against the stone fixture, "you're owed an 'I told you so.'"

"Awesome! Can I get that in blowjobs?" Alec slapped his palms on either side of Logan's head and hunched over him. Shrapnel rained over their heads. 

Bullets sliced through stone and past Alec's ears. He grimaced. He saw Matt racing towards them out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't see where Phil went. Damn it. 

"Stay back!" Logan yelled, reading Alec's mind. He was too close to Alec's ears; they rang uncomfortably, but, at least, Logan's warning warded the detective back to cover.

Grass and dirt flew up either side of the trees Matt crouched behind. The detective was able to fire one shot before bullets from two directions sent him ducking almost fetal to the ground.

"Oh goody." Alec squinted to his left. "Another one joined the party."

"Where? How many?" Logan could only see out from under Alec's arm. Alec squashed Logan's face to his chest before Logan accidentally squirmed out of cover.

"Two ran past us towards the car. I don't know where they are now." Alec concentrated on the buzzing around them. "Shooter sounds to be on our two o'clock. Another at our ten. Matt is at our eight."

"What about Phil?"

Alec ground his teeth. "I don't know."

Logan swore under his breath.

Alec hissed when a bullet zipped over his shoulders. 

"Son of a bitch!" Alec snarled. He could now feel a draft between his shoulders. "This was my favorite jacket!"

"Isn't that _my_ jacket?"

"Why the hell you think it's my favorite?" Alec dropped to his knees and tucked between Logan's legs. "How many bullets does this guy have?" 

Logan tried to reach behind him. Alec slapped his arm down. 

"My guns! They're in my ba—"

"Stay small!" Alec's ears rang non-stop. The bullets punched through rock with an almost metallic whine. 

Logan grimaced as another scream, higher and younger than the first rang out. "There are too many people out here!"

"Like they care!" Alec scanned their surroundings. No good. They were too exposed. 

Past their cover, a girl started crying for her father.

Logan's eyes widened. "Alec—"

Alec breathed out sharply. "I hear her."

Logan slipped a hand around Alec's bicep and squeezed.

No, damn it. Damn it; he needed to stay here, next to Logan, protect, _nonono_ —

"Alec," Logan murmured. "She's a little girl."

"Yeah. Okay." Alec swallowed. He motioned to Matt, three fingers first to his chest then snapping towards the shooter at ten o'clock. 

Matt nodded before he was forced back behind the trees.

"One," Alec mouthed. "Two…three."

The long rifle's barrel jutted out of Matt's cover. It fired rapidly in the second shooter's general direction. 

Behind the tombstone, a shadow ducked.

"Stay here." Alec crushed his mouth to Logan's. Alec spun on his heels and darted out of cover towards the frightened cry.

Predictably, the other shooter couldn't resist a moving target. Shots chased Alec's heels. He ducked behind one headstone, rolled behind yet another carved angel before dashing towards a cement slab. Shattered rock and what looked like a bouquet of daisies littered the ground. 

A tiny hand clutched Alec's jeans the moment he skidded behind the grave.

"H-hey. Hi. Howdy. Name's Dean. Uh, cute ribbons. Pink. Cool. Er, this sucks, huh?" Alec wasn't sure how to speak to kids, especially one who looked more afraid of what's out there than of him. And her waterworks left his mind blank. He smiled as wide as he could. 

Huge brown eyes watered. The girl stopped chewing on one pigtail and started hiccupping again. 

Crap. 

"Could you…could you stop crying? I—wait. Wanna see a neat trick?"

Without waiting for an answer, Alec abruptly punched the corner of the tombstone. His fist flared white hot; a knuckle might have cracked, but he was rewarded with a fist sized piece of rock.

Alec scooped up the little girl with one arm and rested her against his hip like a football. He threw the rock as hard and as straight as he could with the other.

A far away grunt told Alec he hit his ten o'clock shooter. He didn't stop to admire his aim. He spotted Phil. Phil was leaping from one spot to the next, evacuating the fastest way possible by throwing bystanders over his shoulders. 

Alec pulled the child as close as he can to his chest and ran towards Phil. Bullets nipped at Alec's heels again. Damn, he was aiming for the asshole's head. Matt tried to distract the shooter with a few shots of his own. The girl Alec hugged to his chest shrieked. 

"Street Sweeper!" Alec hollered.

Phil's head shot up.

"Catch!"

Phil's eyes rounded, but his arms flew up in time to catch a screaming, flailing kid sailing towards him. He didn't wait to see who or what he caught. He ran, jumping over a Red, who charged him. The mercenary's head snapped back when Phil used it for leverage, kicking off its broad brow to propel him further. 

"Sorry!" Alec called out to the child he could hear freaking out in Phil's hold. Tossed almost two meters in the air probably wasn't fun.

Alec braked, his knees burning as Phil's Red hurtled towards him again. There was a glimpse of a square jaw, a dull silver eye sitting oddly on a newly shattered orbital socket. It wrapped a meaty hand around Alec's arm.

"Get out of my way!" Alec snarled. He twisted, but the grip didn't loosen. He felt his right shoulder go _pop_. He hissed, shoved back the agony and twisted free. He slapped his hands on its shoulders and used the support to back flip over it. He raised his double fists as he arced high above the Red's head. 

Alec slammed them down on the exposed neck and the pinprick entry point of the screw.

Cartilage snapped. Blood burst through its throat. Alec's right shoulder boiled at the joint as the blow reverberated up his arms. 

Alec neatly landed on his feet. He didn't bother to check for a pulse when the Red folded over behind him. 

A bullet zipped past Alec. He spun around in time to see it take off the latest attacker's head before he could wrap his hands around Alec's throat. Another shot went by and the first shooter abruptly stopped firing.

Another shadow darted out from the back of the shed where the first shooter was. It ran towards Logan. Fuck!

Alec darted a look to Matt. The detective hurried towards Alec, his hands gripping the long range rifle Alec had customized for him. Phil raced towards Logan and the Red heading for him.

Phil wasn't going to make it.

Alec's legs burned as they ate the distance. 

"Hey!" Alec shouted. He poured on the speed, turning sharply on his heel to intersect the clearing features of a Red. Too far away. Too slow. Alec saw the back of a close shaven head as it neared Logan. A glint of a blade. Alec's heart slammed against his chest.

Five meters. Four meters. Three—oh God, _no_.

"Logan!" Alec screamed as he ran. The Red reached the obelisk. " _Logan_!"

Logan's chair rolled back all of the sudden, a scant out of reach. The Red started, looking taken aback for some reason. He recovered quickly, his blunt features twisting in rage as he reached again.

The messenger bag tumbled to the grass as Logan yanked out two pistols. A gun in each hand, Logan fired point blank into the Red's chest just as a huge hand grabbed a fistful of his shirt.

A knife spun away.

The would-be assassin jerked back then after a beat, staggered forward.

Logan fired again. And again.

By the time Alec reached Logan, the Red was facedown and Logan was out of ammo.

Alec's hand splayed between Logan's shoulders. Spots danced in his vision as he fought to regain his breath. He squinted at their surroundings. Matt was poking the second shooter with the rifle muzzle. Alec's target was a few inches away from it, staring at the sky with empty eyes. The statue the first shooter hid behind was a jumble of blood splattered rock on the ground. And Logan's Red lay prone in a puddle of his own blood on the grass.

One, two, three, fo— _fuck_.

"There were six," Alec shouted to Matt and the approaching Phil. "The first two! They headed towards you guys."

"Ran past me into the service road," Matt called back. He sounded winded. Somewhere in the melee, he lost his tie.

"I'll go check," Phil offered, eager to do more. He jittered in place.

"Not alone, you're not!" Matt snapped. He jogged after Phil, his rifle up and butted against his shoulder on the ready.

From here, though, Alec could tell there was no one by the service road. Whoever they were, they didn't stick around to see whether their team was successful or not.

Alec could feel Logan trembling under his palm. When he glanced over, Logan's legs shook. They lay awkwardly twisted; feet caught under the footrest plate.

"Back spasm," Logan bit out at Alec's frown. Logan roughly pulled his legs in, tugging his feet back on the footplate. He clawed his thighs. His fingers dug into the muscle. His quads jumped. Logan swore.

"Next time, keep your pack in front." Alec reached lower until his hand could reach Logan's lower back. "That way you're not twisting around to get your guns. By the way. Two guns? Babe, you don't know how sexy that looked."

Logan wearily snorted.

Alec stooped lower to continue the massage. Logan's back thankfully didn't feel inflamed. But he could still see Logan's quads shaking. Logan hissed under his breath.

"Nothing," Phil reported. His lens drooped; it matched the look on his face.

"There're shoe prints," Matt added as he rejoined them. "Whoever they were, they got here on foot."

"Or was dropped off at the turn. It's out of sight of the main gate." Logan grimaced. "Probably why we didn't spot them."

Matt frowned. "You all right?"

"Dandy." Logan was short of snapping. 

Matt glanced over to Alec. Alec shook his head.

The detective's brow furrowed deeper. "Your turn. Are _you_ okay?"

Alec cupped his right shoulder. He made a face when he felt the out of place joint move under his jacket. Ouch.

"That guy touched me," Alec whined. "I think I got his cooties." He sobered when his comment only earned him three scowls.

"Shoulder's out, not completely. It can be fixed later." Hopefully under Logan's care, sans clothing. Fuck, Logan's bed sounded great right now. 

"I think everyone's gone." Phil frowned towards the hilltop he had herded the bystanders to. He blinked, baffled. "They didn't stay to speak with the police."

Alec grunted. "Can you blame them? A couple of upgraded Neanderthals shooting up the place? They're not going to stick around to play Storytime with a bunch of dumb cops." Alec flicked a look to Matt. "Present company excluded."

"Of course," Matt deadpanned. 

Alec caught himself fidgeting in place, impatient to move, do something, _break_ something. Or crawl into Logan's bed for a nap.

"They're not getting away with this," Alec said, low. His chest heaved. "Whoever this is, they better fucking _hide_."

"It's okay, Alec," Logan murmured.

"No, it's not," Alec snapped before he could check himself. At Logan's look, Alec forced himself to calm down. "No, it's not okay, this sucks, but we got them. High fives to everybody. Can we please go back now and have se—" He swallowed back the rest of the words at Matt's glower.

"I have to call this in," Matt said by way of apology. "Logan, I'll need you to stay and give a statement."

"Here I was hoping to avoid yet another Cale on the news," Logan gritted out.

"This will be the last time," Alec muttered. His hand stayed between Logan's shoulders. "This ends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I know it's not Tuesday. (Sorry) After several edits, adding, carving chunks out, clicking 'delete' a few times, I realized I better post this before doubt has me rewriting this chapter. _Again._


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: strong language, **SEX** and action that may not be enough...action-y. _(head hanging)_

"You're not my favorite anymore."

Alec glared at Logan from the safety of the couch. His right shoulder throbbed, unhappy at the grinding sensation of the bone and socket slipping back into place.

Logan rolled his eyes as he packed up the first aid kit balanced on his lap. Stray bits of gauze clung to his dark green pullover. Alec was momentarily distracted by how it brought out Logan's eyes.

"Whatever happened to 'I'll be gentle, Alec. Like a kitten's paw'?" Alec grumbled. "You're just getting back me for dragging you here to tend to me instead of tracking down your uncle."

"First off," Logan muttered as he checked Alec's shoulder and upper arm before pulling away, "I never said anything about being gentle or anything about a kitten's paw."

"I must have hallucinated that in my delirium." Alec tried to look pathetic: eyes squinting, lower lip stuck out, his right shoulder braced with his left hand. 

Logan wasn't fooled. He glowered at Alec over the top of his eyeglasses that did not look sexy. No way. Even if Alec did wanted to climb into Logan's lap and plucked the spectacles off Logan's nose with his teeth.

"Second," Logan counted down with a small pair of surgical scissors, "You only complained about your arm falling off so you could get me back here to wrap me up like a mummy."

Despite Logan's complaining, Alec caught the crinkle at the corner of Logan's mouth. He rolled his eyes, but he couldn't stop grinning openly.

"I didn't wrap you like a mummy, Heather. I was taping up the gashes from the shrapnel you forgot to mention." Phil had freaked when he saw blood on the back of Logan's shirt. It ended Logan's interview with police fast.

"Gashes? They were cuts, Alec."

"You _bled_." Alec's mouth snapped shut when he heard himself.

Logan paused. Something flicked in his gaze. 

"But I'm all right," Logan said gently. "They weren't even deep enough to need stitches."

Alec nodded; for some reason, he couldn't speak.

The wheelchair was silent on the carpet as Logan rolled closer. Alec carefully parted Logan's knees so he could tuck his legs in. His knees brushed the worn denim covering Logan's inner thighs. 

Logan's breathing stuttered; he hastily cleared his throat. He leaned forward and cupped his palms over Alec's knees.

Alec briefly closed his eyes. He savored the weight of Logan's warm palms traveling up his thighs.

"Sorry. I should've noticed." Alec shifted to the edge of his seat. His knees pressed into the inside of Logan's legs.

"You were busy picking up the brass from Matt's gun before the police got there." Logan sounded breathless. When Alec opened his eyes, he studied Logan's flushed face.

"You okay?" Alec frowned.

Logan nodded jerkily.

"Seriously, you look like you're either going to hurl or shove your tongue down my throat." Alec hoped it was the latter.

Logan grimaced. "I hope you're not telling me it's the same face every time we…"

"Heather, you could cross your eyes and stick out your tongue and you would still be hot."

"Thanks." Logan's brow furrowed. "I think."

Alec braced Logan's torso with both hands. He ran his palms down the trim body, feeling the curved ribs under firm obliques and soft pullover. It bothered him he could still feel the ridges of each rib, but he swallowed his comment. One problem at a time.

"Seriously," Alec murmured. He rubbed his hands up and down Logan's sides. "You okay? Anything else hurting?"

Logan shook his head. "Alec, we should get back to work."

"We will. Later."

"I thought you wanted to end this," Logan reminded him. 

Alec darkened. "I did. I do. And if I believe it would've helped, I would go over there right now and dismantle every brick and bolt of _Cale Industries_ , but no, you have to stay put."

Logan's eyes flared.

Alec held up a hand to ward off the words he could see brewing behind Logan's tight-lipped expression.

"This isn't me trying to stop you from doing anything, or me trying to wrap you in bubble wrap or phone in a fake tip that'll take you out of Seattle." Alec relaxed at Logan's quirked eyebrow.

"Okay, I may have given this some thought," Alec admitted. He ducked his head, rubbing the back of his neck. "I had a few scenarios."

"How many?"

"Thirty one." Minus five because it involved the theoretical bazooka Alec couldn't get.

Logan stared at Alec, speechless. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

Alec tapped Logan's chin with two fingers, closing the slightly agape mouth.

"But this isn't what this is," Alec murmured. "What we talked about out there still applies, no more trying to protect you from what you do best but…" He shrugged helplessly. "There's still a small part of me," Twenty percent—no, make that forty. "That wants to do everything possible to keep you in one piece."

Logan's mouth quirked sadly. "One piece, huh?" 

Alec wanted to pull Logan to him, hold him to his chest, to his heart until his words sank in. His fingers dug into Logan's sides.

"You were never anything less." Alec kneaded the muscles along Logan's sides. "Wish you believe me." He scowled at Logan. "I sound like an idiot every time I have to repeat myself."

Logan chuckled under his breath. His eyes crinkled.

"Maybe I'm just slow on the uptake," Logan murmured.

Alec scoffed. "Possibly. You don't get how hot you are. Then again, that might be good. Wouldn't want you wandering."

"As if there's anywhere else I want to be."

Alec felt warmth curled inside his belly that floated up to sit hot and full in his chest. He found himself grinning lopsidedly at Logan, feeling ridiculously pleased when Logan smiled back just as crookedly.

Logan's hands rose up to cup Alec's jaw. His thumbs stroked Alec's cheekbones with all the care of a paintbrush. He rocked his forehead against Alec's. His mouth parted. The tip of his tongue flicked across his lower lip, leaving it shiny and beckoning. Alec watched those lips shape around soundless words. 

"Does this mean you're going to hide a bazooka under the sinks now?" 

The laugh started out of Alec was short but a relief. His insides loosened. He pulled back and smiled crookedly at Logan.

"Nah," Alec joked weakly. "I couldn't find one that matched that fancy marble in there."

Logan snorted. He lighted patted both sides of Alec's jaw before leaning back. He pressed the heels of his hands into the thick muscles of Alec's legs.

"So what's the plan?"

Alec sobered. He ran a hand through his hair. He scowled as he mentally reviewed the morning's events.

"Whoever is pulling the strings is a lot bolder than we anticipated." Alec slipped his palms under Logan's top and let Logan's life warmed skin calm the hammering in his chest.

"An attack in _public_? In daylight? We didn't figure they would try something where there could be so many witnesses." Alec's jaw clenched. Not that there were many. Even the little girl's father blazed out of there without even a _gracias_ to them. 

"Whoever it was must be getting desperate." Logan leaned back into Alec's hands. He took a deep breath.

Alec held the expanding chest. He suddenly felt jittery, edgy as it felt like he was literally holding Logan's life in his hands. When Logan exhaled, it felt like he was shrinking in Alec's hold as spent air fled.

"So am I."

Alec's hard words startled them both. He swallowed convulsively and leaned towards Logan.

Logan met Alec halfway. Their foreheads touched, resting together as if they had agreed to from the very beginning.

Alec listened to Logan breathe. He thought he could listen to it all day: the measured puffs full of life, warmth and everything Alec didn't think it was possible to have. 

The wheelchair creaked as Logan struggled to stay close. Alec smelled the acrid bite of gunpowder around Logan. It didn't belong with Logan. It was a bitter reminder of how close Alec failed. Again.

Logan slipped a hand over Alec's shoulder.

Alec's dark thoughts snapped away like a line cut from its moor. He blinked, temporarily taken aback.

"Shoulder still bothering you?"

Alec shrugged his good shoulder under Logan's palm. He nodded towards Logan.

"How's your back?"

Logan's answer, in Alec's opinion, was too quick. "Fine."

"Babe."

Logan pulled back with a huff. "It's been fine since Matt dropped me off here."

Alec's brow knitted together. "It looked bad before. It was bad enough to go down to your legs." He cupped the side of Logan's knee. "Hey. Maybe my blood—" His face fell when Logan shook his head. Alec thought quickly as shadows drifted over Logan's features.

"Want a back massage?" Alec waggled his eyebrows. "I have a magic cock."

Logan snorted again. "Don't you mean magic fingers?"

"…Uh, yeah…that too." Alec grinned cheekily when Logan shot him an exasperated look. "Hey, don't deny my dick is magical!"

"Just don't go waving it around at me to do tricks," Logan said dryly.

Alec wiggled his fingers. "And for my next trick: a disappearing act. Watch my cock vanish in—" He reached towards Logan.

A pang behind his right shoulder blade jerked Alec's arm to over-extend with a bone jarring _snap_ that was loud enough even Logan grimaced. Alec straightened up with a wince. He braced a fist against the throbbing shoulder. "Damn it."

"Shoulder?"

Alec started to deny it. At Logan's glower, he begrudgingly conceded with a "Maybe."

"I told you we should have called Sam," Logan reminded him.

"And have Doc poking and prodding me?" Alec made a face. "He's not my type."

"So you would rather have me poke and prod you?" 

Alec leered at Logan. "You could always watch _me_ poke and prod _you_."

" _Alec_."

"Hey! I can't help it! I had to undress you before to bandage up all your owies! A naked you is a very hard thing to forget!"

Logan folded his arms in front of him.

"What?"

"The cuts. They were on my shoulders."

"Yeah?"

"Why did you need my pants off as well?"

"…I was being thorough?"

A wad of medical tape bounced off Alec's forehead.

Alec retaliated by tossing the melting icepack Logan kept forgetting to slip behind his back into his lap.

"At least use that," Alec griped. "For your back that may or may not be bothering you."

Logan shot Alec a long suffering look, but he tucked the cold pad behind his back.

"So…your plan?" Logan grunted as he adjusted to the change in temperature against his skin. 

Alec fidgeted. "We'll talk about it later."

Logan narrowed his eyes at Alec. "You're not keeping me in the dark. Or did you forget my last name happen to be Cale, too?" 

"I'm not!" Alec gestured between them. "But let's take a day, all right?"

Logan pursed his lips.

"Come on," Alec pleaded and not caring it sounded like that, "Take a breather. A siesta. Okay? Bad guys will still be bad guys tomorrow. We need to do this strategically and right now the only thing we want to do is knock some heads together." Alec, especially.

"I'm not asking you to take a weeklong vacation; just a few hours. Okay? A bite to eat. A nap. Look, I won't even hide your ridiculously tiny laptop." Alec snorted. "I don't even know how you type in that damn thing anyway; you have large hands and don't deny it. You know what they say about the size of your hands and the size of your di—"

"Alec."

"Give me a day. Okay?" Alec cajoled. "Let me get some recon before we plan our next move." He curled his hand around the back of Logan's head to bring him back close. "Remember: _we_ , not me, _Eyes Only_."

Logan nodded against Alec's brow. He said nothing, but the weight of his head against Alec felt like a promise.

"Don't do anything without me," Logan muttered. He half-heartedly shoved Alec on his good shoulder.

"I won't. I swear. I won't even blink towards your uncle without consulting you first."

Logan exhaled. He eased back. 

"Okay." Logan still looked unhappy, though. "We'll regroup tomorrow."

Alec felt lightheaded with relief like all the blood rushed down from his head. He didn't respond, not wanting to break the agreement by speaking. The truce felt fragile. He grimaced, instead. His shoulder was still unhappy with him. Fucking Red almost tore his arm off.

Logan watched Alec test the range of motion of his right shoulder. "How does it feel?"

"Like we should have done it my way." Alec's arm felt too thick and cumbersome for his shoulder. He could feel the heat ebbing, though, his souped up healing kicking in. 

"Alec, no matter how the saying goes; I can't kiss it and make it better— _mmpf_ …"

It was more fun to win an argument this way Alec decided as he slid his mouth over Logan's, capturing Logan's surprise and later, his groans with a sly swipe of a tongue. Alec's shoulders ached from pulling Logan's chair to him. But the taste of Logan's breath, the sensation of stubble tickling his jaw and the feel of Logan's heat as he arched forward made up for any discomfort.

Logan's hands curled over Alec's thighs with a possessive grip that rushed heat down to Alec's cock. It was his turn to groan when Logan leaned into the kiss. Logan rubbed Alec's legs as he drew in, gently suckling on Alec's lower lip. His tongue, velvety rough, darted into Alec's mouth and the kiss grew demanding, with a force that sent ripples down Alec's back. Alec felt devoured, his blood rushing up to pound at the base of his throat before pooling into a painful swell between his legs.

Alec swept hands over Logan's chest, mapping out the firm pecs and sleek back. He deepened the kiss as he eased out of the couch and crowded Logan into his chair. His shoulder twinge and Alec grimaced.

"No." Logan's hands glided up to Alec's hips. He nudged, wordlessly coaxing Alec to stand.

Alec murmured a protest when their lips parted. He stooped down, trying to catch Logan's mouth again. Logan patted him back upright.

"Your shoulder," Logan chided as he dodged Alec's next attempt to capture his mouth.

"Healing," Alec argued. He stood between Logan's parted legs. His knees brushed against the edge of Logan's seat; he wanted to climb into the chair, climb into Logan. 

"Give me an hour, no, thirt— _ten_ minutes and I'll be oka—" 

The rest of Alec's argument cut off with a strangled gasp as fingers traced the outline of his erection under his jeans.

"We wouldn't want to strain your shoulder." Logan slowly undid Alec's flies.

The cool air that swept over Alec's groin rivaled with the heat that rushed up to his face. Alec bit his lower lip. He settled his hands on Logan's shoulders. 

Logan mouthed Alec's boxers, over the straining erection underneath. Alec stifled a sound when Logan pressed his face closer and nuzzled the cotton covered groin before nosing the growing wet spot.

Alec arched towards Logan. Logan dropped open-mouthed kisses along the outline of his cock. Logan's hands were warm and large on Alec's hips. His jeans were carefully peeled down to bunch around his knees. Alec stared at the strands of light and dark brown hair. It was all he could see of Logan as Logan's face burrowed deeper into Alec's crotch, kissing and mouthing and driving Alec insane.

"Logan," Alec groaned as Logan teased the tented cotton around his cock. Alec's boxers were damp with precome, from Logan's mouth—Christ, his _mouth_ and the sweat Alec could feel trickling down from the strain of not thrusting blindly. But he was close, fuck, it's been too long, he wanted to last, but Logan's mouth, that clever, filthy, hot mouth of his, pursed over fabric, massaging sensitized flesh and…

A warm exhale ghosted Alec's erection. Alec panted as he glanced down.

Lips teasing cotton, Logan's eyes tipped up. Smoky green gazed back.

Alec shuddered as he violently came. 

Come spilled inside Alec's boxers. Alec swore as he gasped, trembling as his dick seemed determined to drain him from the inside out. Alec was lost in the rush, too dizzy with the white flares of his release; he didn't realize until too late Logan had pulled out his cock, still leaking with come.

"Wait," Alec wheezed, "I'm still…"

Alec's fingers dug into Logan's shoulders. His eyes rolled back as Logan wrapped his lips around the weeping cock.

Immediately, Alec's softening dick revived. It hardened under the slick pressure of Logan's tongue; it swelled within the wet confines of Logan's mouth filled with Alec's come.

Logan made a small sound as Alec's renewed erection forced his jaw to widen as it slid deeper into his throat, still coming, twitching and swollen to the point Alec was flushed and lightheaded. 

Alec cradled the back of Logan's head, but Logan made another sound, resisting Alec's attempt to pull him back. Logan's sounds grew messier, wet and absolutely filthy as he did his best to swallow all of Alec.

It was a beautiful effort.

Alec stared, transfixed as Logan sucked as best he could. His cheeks, shadowed with stubble, were hollowed out as he tried to milk every drop. Logan's lips were stretched around Alec's cock. His lips were pink, swollen and glistening with the come he couldn't completely swallow.

"Logan," Alec breathed. His hands now carded through Logan's hair. He grabbed fistfuls; silk in his grasp. The weight of Logan's head in Alec's hands, the feel of Logan's mouth on his cock, the calluses on Logan's fingers as they traced the bony jut of his pelvis.

Alec's hips snapped forward. He didn't mean…he shouldn't. Alec screwed his eyes shut, but blocking out the look of a disheveled and flushed Logan didn't tamp down the urge, the _need_ to fuck that sinful mouth.

Logan abruptly wrapped a hand around one of Alec's wrists. Before Alec could worry it might be Logan's signal to stop, Logan tugged one of Alec's hands to his throat.

Alec jerked. The memory of Logan's breath stuttering under his arm was still fresh. His cock shuddered and started to deflate.

Logan's teeth abruptly grazed down the line of Alec's dick.

"Shit!" Alec yipped. His erection sprang back alive, sliding impossibly deeper into Logan's mouth until Logan's face was buried into the bristly hairs of his groin.

Logan hummed. The vibration raced up Alec's cock. Suddenly, there was a renewed sucking sensation around his dick. 

Where Logan's mouth was once hard against Alec's, bruising in kisses, his mouth was now soft. Alec felt him exhaling shakily through his nose. Alec felt a trickle of come or spit drooling out of the corner of Logan's mouth.

A wave of tenderness swept over Alec. Alec stroked Logan's throat, feeling it work as Alec rolled his hips, carefully thrusting. He felt the long muscles straining, Adam's apple bobbing with the effort to swallow.

"No," Alec murmured. He tried to tug Logan back, but Logan resisted again. "No, I don't want to come again in your mouth."

Logan stilled. Eyes, glazed and overblown, tilted up. 

Alec's breath caught. He read the agreement.

Alec's erection slipped free of Logan's swollen lips with a _pop_. There wasn't time to mourn the loss of the wet heat; Alec moved his arms under Logan, who lifted his arms up in silent consent. Alec hauled him off the chair and crushed the other man to him. He tumbled back with Logan, into the couch with an "Oof" and a yelp. His cock twitched and Alec came from only the weight of Logan's body on it.

Logan glanced down between them, no doubt feeling the come spattering his clothes. He looked up, a silent but bemused eyebrow arched towards Alec.

"Shut up," Alec muttered, his cheeks hot. "It's been way too long." To cover his embarrassment, Alec tore Logan's pullover off right down the middle.

"Alec," Logan grumbled, but only half-heartedly as he shifted his hips to help Alec pull his jeans off.

"I told you," Alec said. Logan squirming on his lap wasn't helping. "Clothing is stupid. Stay naked."

Alec only managed to pull Logan's jeans down to his knees. No further, not without risking tipping Logan into the carpet. And Logan didn't help with his fidgeting, his throaty chuckles as he laved Alec's collarbone, his clever fingers tweaking Alec's nipples—Wait, where did _his_ shirt go?

Growling, Alec wrapped arms around Logan's middle and twisted them around until he has Logan sandwiched between Alec and the couch. He smirked down at a flushed Logan.

"Your shoulder," Logan huffed, his eyes bright with laughter. 

Alec shrugged one shoulder, smirking as he reached down. He yanked down the jeans the rest of the way, unable to keep from grinning when Logan chuckled, his body shaking underneath Alec. Logan huffed, his eyes crinkling as Alec wadded up Logan's jeans and tossed them towards the bedroom. The metal buttons made a loud _thwack_ when they struck the wall. Alec's own clothing followed, quieter, but ended up just as rumpled on the floor.

With a growl that widened Logan's smile, Alec caught Logan's wrists and pulled them above Logan's head. Alec crushed his mouth to Logan's laughing one as he rutted eagerly into Logan's torso.

Being inside Logan was indescribable, but this was Alec's favorite: his cock gliding down the length of Logan's body, short, crisp chest hair catching his erection, leaving pearls of precome on Logan's skin. The lightly furred chest teased Alec's cock with the conflicting sensations of sharp and silk.  
Alec rocked against him. _Mine, mine, mine_ , Alec's mark claimed as his cock smeared come all over Logan's body. 

Panting, squinting as his vision clouded in front of him, Alec grounded into Logan's hip. Logan squirmed, struggling briefly because Alec kept his hands above his head. Logan moaned; Alec kept him pinned to the couch. His body bucked under Alec's thrusts, his chest hair matted with come. Logan sounded desperate as Alec dodged his every attempt for a kiss. 

"This," Alec growled. He was barely able to form the words as he pressed three fingers to Logan's bottom lip. He exhaled as he watched his fingers slip into Logan's greedy mouth. The loud slurping Logan made as he laved the digits was almost Alec's undoing.

Logan closed his eyes, shuddering when Alec finally slipped a finger into him. Logan swore, his chest heaving until Alec slipped in a second. He was begging as Alec took his time loosening Logan before finally adding the third.

"You're so tight," Alec murmured and his fingers slowed in their twisting dance inside Logan. "Hold on. Maybe we should…" He started when he felt Logan clench around his fingers.

Logan didn't speak, but his eyes flashed a demand Alec understood all too well. Those feverish eyes vanished under a curtain of lashes as Logan tipped his head back when Alec's cock pushed its blunt head through.

"Fuck," Alec whimpered as his erection inched deeper into Logan. He could never get Logan loose enough, they weren't positioned right, they should have gotten the lube, they should slow down…

All the reasons why they shouldn't vanished when Logan's body seemed to clutch around Alec's cock. 

Alec fell—at least it felt like it—until he bottomed out, his balls slapping against Logan's ass. They both panted, staring at each other with twin gleams of satisfaction.

It took only two thrusts.

Alec spilled into Logan; his cry was startled as he found himself coming too soon. Only to harden again, inside Logan's dark heat pulsing around his renewed erection, squeezing, teasing, tight, so tight…

Something primal bubbled up Alec's throat. He slipped out, groaning because his cock bounced loose out of Logan's body and stood flushed against Alec's stomach. It throbbed uncomfortably as if punishing Alec for leaving Logan.

Logan uttered an unhappy sound. 

Alec swept a palm down Logan's bare flank. Logan jerked. His eyes flew back up to Alec, wide and hazy with lust.

"I got you," Alec croaked. It sounded more like a plea in his ears, but it seemed to ease the shadows that flickered across Logan's face. Still, his eyes were apprehensive as Alec cupped the back of Logan's left knee, bending it. He lifted the leg and draped it over his right shoulder.

"It's fine," Alec assured Logan. They both pretended the issue was Alec's recent injury. Alec braced a hand on the side of Logan's knee, keeping it folded over his shoulder. He rubbed a soothing circle on Logan's stomach with his other hand. He shuffled closer to trap Logan's other leg between him and the couch.

"It's fine," Alec repeated.

Logan's throat worked, but after a beat, Logan nodded. He braced his own leg as well with a white knuckled fist on his thigh. His other hand twitched over his stomach.

"God, look at you," Alec whispered. His eyes wandered down to memorize Logan sprawled out under him, spread wide, his puckered hole dripping with his come. Logan lay before him, looking thoroughly debauched, long strong lines and broad planes, exposed, vulnerable yet strong. He wanted to gather Logan up and tuck the image of him inside where no one else could see it.

"So beautiful." Alec's thumb drew a line over the base of Logan's semi-erect cock. He watched the cock fill until it was heavy in Alec's palm. He cradled Logan's cock, his fingers stroking the faded purple vein underneath. 

"Alec."

Logan's voice was tremulous. Fear or want; it was hard to tell. Logan's voice was hoarse, barely recognizable. 

Alec canted his head to rest his cheek against Logan's knee on his shoulder. There was something heady about holding Logan like this, handling the velvety sacs like they were glass, Logan spread out in a way he couldn't hide anything from Alec. He drank in the sight of the man underneath him.

"Absolutely gorgeous," Alec whispered. "I could look at you like this forever." 

Logan whispered Alec's name again. A muscle along Logan's calf jumped, spasms most likely bothering him again.

Alec made sure Logan saw him as he turned to kiss the side of Logan's knee. Again and again. Then Alec leaned in, almost bending Logan in half, trapping Logan's erection between their bodies. Alec nipped Logan's nose. He locked gazes with Logan. He breathed deep; he waited for Logan to follow. After three synced breaths, their hearts no longer racing, Logan's hand no longer stiff and curled over his stomach, Alec moved.

It was still too tight. Alec's cock breached Logan and met resistance, but soon, it felt like Logan's body welcomed Alec back in. Alec felt like Logan pulled him in, coaxing. 

Alec's hips surged forward in a single brutal thrust. They collided, hips, chests, mouths with the first stroke. Alec pushed into Logan and sank in so complete, so _right_ , he crushed his face to Logan's inner thigh so he could howl his victory.

Logan arched his back, his shoulders shaking as his body seemed to move with Alec's thrusts. Logan's body bucked like he was caught in an undertow, his hand digging into his own thigh.

When Alec had begun to move, when their voices had given out; it wasn't clear. Once Alec started moving, cutting up into Logan's body like it was the only salvation left, everything else blurred. 

There were snatches of memory: the sudden sharp bite of Logan's hand breaking skin on Alec's flank, the burn of Alec's cock as it felt like he couldn't stop coming again and again, the strain behind his hips as they fought to keep up a pace Logan's body demanded with each breathtaking squeeze around Alec's cock. The boiling heat of Logan's skin branded onto Alec, tendrils of _mineminemine_ swirled under his skin like ink. Alec thrust, he _devoured_ because there was no desire to stop.

Logan came with a force that surprised them both. Logan cried out as Alec continued to snap into him. He fucked into the waves of orgasm that rocked Logan's body. When Alec came, it was in Logan, on Logan, on himself, too much because it wasn't enough. 

There was a vague memory of gathering Logan up, Logan's leg sliding off his shoulder and dropping to the floor. There was a sensation of fire in his belly as Logan's arms flexed to pull himself up until he straddled Alec's lap. His biceps were firm, hot against Alec as Logan held himself up while Alec thrust up into him. 

There was no stopping. Neither wanted it. Alec fucked until _he_ was sobbing because it was too much, it wasn't enough, he could stay in Logan forever, he could pin Logan to this couch, lay him open with his cock and continue to get lost in Logan until it felt like he was finally found.

Someone screamed in Alec's ear as they both came for the last time. It was messy. It made every bone in his body ache. He felt young and ancient at the same time. It was perfect.

Alec pulled a trembling Logan to him. He curled them into a corner of the couch, their legs tangled together. He kissed Logan on the mouth, on his flushed cheeks, on his collarbone. Not to be outdone, Logan did the same. His touch and his breath felt as unsteady as Alec's.

"Sleep," Alec mumbled to Logan's ear. He felt Logan nod sleepily against him. 

As they sank into oblivion, their limbs loosening in sleep, Alec realized the scream came from himself.

 

 

"So was that it?"

Logan mumbled questioningly. His shoulders rolled back as Alec's cock slipped free from his body. 

"Hm?" Logan grumbled into his pillow. He swatted vaguely at Alec's hand on his shoulder, there to keep him from rolling onto his front. 

Alec nuzzled the back of Logan's ear even as he dipped two fingers into Logan. He murmured, more sounds than words, as he felt around the insides.

"Hold on. We were pretty rough before. Let me check." Alec kissed the light splattering of freckles on Logan's shoulder. It didn't make sense, but that satiny spot tasted different from the rest. He flicked his tongue over the spot again and again as he stroked Logan's insides. His face grew hot as he pressed into the small nub and Logan shivered in response. Logan was perfect like this: blissed out, drowsy from sex, beautifully sensitive to every tiny touch. Alec needed to be rougher in order for Logan to feel enough, but this. There was something about watching Logan shake around Alec's finger as he teased the used hole. 

"I could do this all day. Just this," Alec whispered. "Look at you."

"Mm?" Logan moaned sleepily. He was half asleep by the time they were done in bed the first time, his limbs liquid and loose as he laid spread-eagled while Alec pounded him into the mattress. Alec came so hard; he was sure he passed out for a second. He found himself face down on Logan's chest, a peaked nipple digging into his cheek. Alec could think of worse ways to wake up.

Alec kissed the back of Logan's ear again in apology and in thanks. Logan's mouth curved into a drowsy yet smug smile. 

"You only suggested moving to the bed because you didn't want me making dinner," Alec accused.

Logan snuffled into the pillow, but Alec caught part of his smirk.

"I'm on to you." Alec snapped his teeth playfully by Logan's ear. He snickered when Logan swatted the air by Alec's chin. 

"We'll sleep better in the bed," Alec rumbled in his best _Eyes Only_ voice. Logan commented with a snort and another elbow towards his ribs. "Right. Uh huh."

Logan feebly tried to roll his hips back, pulling Alec's fingers deeper.

"Oh, no, nice try. Three times on the couch and twice in bed is a record even for me. And you were falling asleep on the last one which was insulting." Alec kept kissing Logan's nape. He forced himself to remember there _was_ a practical reason for all this. He refocused and probed carefully, swallowing hard at Logan's throaty grunts. He reluctantly pulled his fingers out and checked. No blood. Thank God. 

Alec's cock twitched. It would be so easy to slip back into Logan now; he was loose, so wet, a line of muscle and sex tucked against the curve of Alec's body.

Shuddering, Alec burrowed his face into Logan's shoulders. 

"I missed you so much," Alec breathed. 

Logan mumbled something that sounded like he missed Alec as well.

Alec rested his cheek against the crook of Logan's shoulder. 

"I wasn't kidding when I told you once we started, I didn't know if I could make myself stop. God, you were…I missed you so much." Alec mouthed the hairline along the nape. "Is that weird? We saw each other every day. Shouldn't it be weird?"

Logan tugged Alec's arm around his chest. He muzzily kissed Alec's arm.

"So was that it then?" Alec asked, only half kidding, "The makeup sex?"

"We 'eren't f'ghting," Logan slurred.

"Are you sure? I'm pretty sure we raised our voices a few times and freaked the kids out. Matt looked about ready to cry."

Logan pulled his elbow back once more. Alec patted back the jab.

"…Obses'ed ov'r f'ghtin'?" Logan yawned. Yup, Heather was worn out. Dinner was going to have to be a midnight snack instead.

Alec grinned into Logan's shoulder. "Hey, I wanted to be clear on things. It was intense, but was it because it's been a while? Or an adrenaline thing? Or an aftereffect of fighting? Would you categorize this as sex? Or _sex_?"

Logan snorted; he sounded like he was halfway into a snore. God, Heather was such a dork at times. Alec squeezed Logan around his middle until Logan grumbled.

"We should clarify," Alec decided. "More sex is required. In different situations." He leered even though he knew Logan couldn't see it. "In different locations, too."

Logan pinched Alec's hands clasped around him.

"Research! Come on! We should have an obscene amount of sex! For science!"

Logan's shoulders shook. It was a nice rumble against Alec's chest.

Alec rubbed his nose to the winged edge of Logan's shoulder.

"You were so sensitive," Alec whispered. His cock stirred as he remembered. His mouth went dry. 

"God, it was like you felt so much more this time. You were beautiful. You always were, but today, you were so much more…" Alec nosed the shape of the shoulder blade. He kissed the bottom of it. "You were perfect. You were absolutely perfect."

Logan went still in Alec's arms. 

Alec's brow knitted. He squeezed Logan's hands. They suddenly felt ice cold.

"Hey." Alec carefully eased Logan onto his back. He propped himself up on an elbow. "You okay?" His brow furrowed deeper. "Was it me? Did I hu—"

"No." Logan flashed Alec a quick smile. He appeared to be wide awake now, a startling contrast from the drowsy form curled into Alec before. He circled Alec's nipple with a finger, tracing the dark, dusty circle as if trying to unlock a secret.

Alec swallowed hard. He felt himself arching towards Logan's touch. He bit his lower lip. Thoughts slipped out of reach as he ached for more.

"Was something bother— _oh God, there_ —if you want to talk, I mean…" Alec whimpered as Logan rolled a reddened teat between his fingers. His eyes were dark and intent, focused on Alec's chest as he coaxed one nub to a painful point before moving to the other.

"Fuck," Alec stammered. He was leaning over Logan's torso now, half straddling him, chest arching towards Logan. He clutched the headboard to prevent from collapsing completely on top of Logan. His cock twitched within the space their bodies formed, leaking with interest and want—fuck, he _wanted_.

"Sure," Logan murmured. He tried to sound casual, but it came off…not.

Alec blinked. Haze had risen up his eyes as he struggled to stay above Logan, one elbow next to Logan's head, his other arm trembling to stay straight above them. 

The headboard groaned.

"Wh…What?" Alec managed. He felt a bead of perspiration trickling down between his shoulders. It felt like a tiny flame licking at his spine.

Logan soundlessly repeated Alec's expletive, his mouth parting at the end as his hands wandered lower.

Alec closed his eyes. His knees flushed to Logan's hips shook as they fought to keep Alec aloft. They vibrated as Logan curled his warm hands around Alec's cock. They languidly pulled and massaged until Alec's cock rose hard and purpling and far too large and heavy.

Logan squeezed the spongy tip and Alec groaned. His arm dropped from the headboard to bend on the other side of Logan's head.

Elbows bookending Logan's head, Alec's legs bracketing Logan's hips, Alec hovered over Logan's chest. He breathed harshly, arms shaking as he fought to stay still even as Logan's hands grew rougher around his dick. Logan pumped him, with a grip that declared _Mine_ and Alec knew he would never deny it.

Finally, the pressure was too much to ignore. Alec's hips rolled into Logan's double fists. Slowly, like a tide gently pulling him in and pushing him back.

Soon, the pace changed. Alec found himself snapping his hips into Logan's grip. Until that wasn't enough as well and he rutted into the tight space Logan created with his arm held flushed to his torso. Alec's erection frantically slipped in and out the made space, the friction burning hot, almost painful and left the smooth skin above Logan's hip looking sunburned.

Alec couldn't hold himself up anymore. His arms buckled, his elbows slipping and he crashed hard on top of Logan. Before he could ask if Logan was okay, though, Logan continued to jerk Alec off, his fists trapped between them going faster and faster.

Time blurred. The air shrank. Alec crushed his face into Logan's neck and shouted as he came in thick ribbons of come all over Logan. As he came, his lower body bucked in the throes; he wrapped his hands around Logan's cock.

Logan came quickly. He came twice. 

Hands scrabbled for each other, come slicking up their bodies and left their skin tasting bitter yet sweet. They joined once more, thrusting and claiming in a way that felt too quick but neither one wanted to take the time to savor. 

Exhausted, Alec could do nothing more than pull out of Logan and sprawl over him. He threw an arm and a leg over Logan so he could feel the sweaty body heave as Logan gulped for air. 

Their breaths were ragged as they both tried to calm down. Alec felt Logan's cock, trapped under Alec's thigh, twitching as it wept one last time.

"You broke me," Alec mumbled into the mattress.

Logan choked out a laugh. He patted Alec's arm draped over his chest.

"Seriously," Alec moaned. "I'm done." He grinned into the sheets. "Well…For the next four hours."

Logan sputtered.

Alec took pity. He shuffled closer until he was tucked against Logan's side. He kissed Logan's cheek. He cautiously settled an ear over Logan's heart, avoiding the raised pink scars on the expanse of his chest.

"Sleep," Alec murmured. "Maybe some food later?" He idly scratched the short, chest hairs on Logan's chest. "We have a busy day tomorrow."

Logan nodded against Alec. His breathing slowed. He sighed, his breath ruffling the top of Alec's head.

Alec stared at the curve of Logan's ear. He'll move in a bit. They were messy and gross now. They reeked of sex.

The corners of Alec's mouth ticked up. He laved the soft skin under Logan's ear.

"Babe?" Alec whispered.

Logan mumbled questioningly.

"Were we fighting about whether or not we were fighting?" Alec sniggered at Logan's muffled groan. "So does this counts as makeup se—"

Okay, Alec _totally_ deserved the elbow this time.

 

 

This was too squishy to be Logan.

Alec lifted his face off the pillow that was supposed to be Logan's shoulder. He squinted. He didn't hear the shower. 

Behind him, outside of the bedroom, though, Alec heard typing.

Alec dropped his face. He frowned into the pillow. He didn't know whether he was bothered Logan was up this early or the fact that Alec didn't wake up when Logan moved the first time. X5s were made to be light sleepers. 

Smacking his lips together—ugh, fuzzy breath, that's new—Alec rolled off his stomach. He patted the rumpled spot next to him. The sheets were cool to the touch,

Alec's frown deepened. Outside, the typing went on like teeth chattering. Alec's teeth clenched in response. He smoothed his palm over the bed. His stomach lurched at how easy it was to iron out the wrinkles that showed Logan was here. In a single swipe, evidence Logan was there was erased.

The idea lodged uncomfortably in Alec's gut. He swung his legs to the ground and padded to the ensuite to shower.

 

 

The _click-clack_ paused when Alec, his head hooded under one of Logan's thick towels, stepped out of the bedroom.

"Did I wake you?" Logan asked, chagrin audible in his voice. 

"Nope." Alec draped his arms over Logan from behind. He kissed a spot under Logan's eye. Logan leaned into Alec's lips with a murmur before pulling away with a clear noise of regret.

"Morning." Alec's hands splayed over Logan's chest. For some silly reason, Logan got dressed. 

Alec rubbed the threadbare cotton undershirt Logan threw over, grounding the fabric over the nipples he felt straining. He hummed as he hunched closer, hips rocking as he huddled over Logan. He released Logan and perched on the edge of the workstation. He blinked innocently as Logan took in his blatant lack of attire.

"You're up early."

"So are you," Logan said dryly, eyeing Alec's cock rising towards his stomach. Logan's eyebrow rose as his eyes drifted to Alec's face.

Alec leered.

Logan scoffed. He patted Alec's hip and went back to his computer.

_Click clack clack. Click clack clack._

It hurt to keep the smirk on his face. Alec rubbed the towel over his face to cover his scowl.

"I didn't hear you get up," Alec said, muffled under the thick terry. He absently wondered whose apartment would have these as well. Original Cindy and herself might like some of these. 

"I know." Logan's smile was evident in his voice. "Usually, whenever I try even to scratch my nose, you bolt right out of bed."

"It's how we're cooked," Alec quipped. At Logan's look, he hastily added, "Plus your snoring usually keeps me up."

Logan's scowl turned exasperated. "I don't snore." 

"No, it sounds more like you're chain sawing wood." Alec tipped his head back and let out a gargling noise.

Logan punched Alec's leg.

"Hey!" Alec angled his balls away from striking distance. "Not if you want to play with these later." He paused, thinking. Grinning, Alec faced Logan again, his pelvis jutting out invitingly.

"Or…you could play now." Alec dropped the towel over Logan's head. He stayed sitting on the edge of the desk; his fingers circled his own cock, squeezing the tip. A bead of pre-come pearled and Alec smeared it down the length of his filling erection. 

Logan's throat worked. "Maybe…maybe later?" He peeled the towel off his head and let it drop in his lap.

The typing returned, clicking away with an almost frantic air now.

Alec sighed, giving up (for now). The weight between his legs throbbed in disagreement. "All right. What are you doing up at ass o'clock in the morning anyway?" Alec reclaimed the towel to scrub across his damp skin.

"Thank you," Logan deadpanned, "I was wondering what time it was."

Alec snapped the towel towards Logan. 

Logan shrugged. "I was thinking—"

"Uh oh." Alec grinned unrepentantly at Logan's scowl. 

"I was _thinking_ ," Logan stressed. He narrowed his eyes at Alec, who kowtowed, inviting him to continue, "My uncle never revealed _Eyes Only_ or where I am, so why continue to attack me?"

"Yeah." Alec's grin faded. He felt his erection deflating as well. Suddenly, he wished he hadn't come out without any clothes on. He felt exposed, like they were too exposed, as Logan went on. 

"I'm not actively on the Board; I'd stopped my petition for a vote on the CEO position. I'm not the only one who has a significant share interest. Alive, my vote wouldn't have counted for anything. Dead, my vote was no great loss."

Alec's lips pressed thin. A molar ached when he clenched his jaw.

"There's no pointing wanting me dead now," Logan went on, oblivious, " _Cale Industries_ was found ignorant of the fact and as a whole, was exonerated of all conspiracy charges despite all the hacks and my interference. Bennett was in charge of R and D back then, so all the blame was put on him. And you can't send a dead man to jail." 

Logan looked resigned as he leaned forward to continue typing. He scowled at whatever came up on the screen. 

"At this point, I'm no use to them dead _or_ alive. Before, alive meant I was there in their faces, being a nuisance; dead would have been useful then. But now? What good would it be to kill me now?"

"It's never good," Alec bit out. There was a different kind of fire churning in his gut now.

Logan scratched his jaw. It didn't appear he heard Alec.

"Killing me out of revenge might have been a motive; the heir apparent to the _Cale_ legacy was gone thanks to me. But then my uncle could have directed them to here instead. They could have easily sneaked in and killed me in my sleep or tamper with the gas stove or—"

_Crack_.

Logan's words came to an abrupt halt. His wide eyes snapped towards Alec.

Alec looked down numbly at his hand holding a chunk of table edge rather than resting on it.

"Oh." Alec set the shard down. He was painfully aware of his dick hanging limply between his legs now. Logan's eyes averted as soon as they drifted to it. There was a tightness in Alec's chest that demanded bones to be broken.

"Sorry about that." Alec flicked a shaky smile at Logan, but Logan's expression didn't go away. With his glasses, Logan looked owlish and startled.

Logan cleared his throat. 

"Anyway," Logan fumbled, "That's what was bothering me so I…" His shoulders lifted. "You said yesterday you needed more intel and since I couldn't sleep—"

Alec looked sharply at Logan. "You couldn't sleep?" 

Logan scrubbed his face.

"Not really," Logan said heavily. He shot a rueful grin to Alec. "I thought last night would have wiped me out."

Alec's eyes grew distant. "Yeah." He shook his head before the memory could do anything more than tease. 

"Hey." Alec kneeled by the wheelchair. He slipped a hand over Logan's arm, still outstretched towards the keyboard. "Why don't you come back to bed?"

Logan clasped a hand over Alec's on his arm before returning to the computer.

"I should look into this."

Alec studied Logan's face. He swore under his breath when he spotted the shadows under Logan's eyes. Why didn't he see it before?

"Isn't it enough to know someone is trying to kill you?"

Logan's fingers paused over the keyboard.

"Don't you want to know why?"

"No," Alec said tightly. "It wasn't our place to ask why. Manticore point, you kill. X5s never ask wh—" He clamped his mouth shut. Logan stared at his computer, not looking at Alec, but Alec knew he heard every word.

Logan cupped Alec's elbow. He caressed the sharp joint, his thumb smoothing over the rough skin of Alec's elbow.

"Here's your chance to find out why," Logan murmured. "Here, you have the choice to."

Alec didn't think there was a choice here either. The moment the bastards set their sights on Logan, it felt like there was only one path left to take.

Nevertheless, Alec understood what Logan was trying to offer. He smiled grimly at Logan.

"I wish you weren't the reason for it."

Logan grimaced faintly. "Same here."

Alec dropped his forehead on Logan's arm. Logan dropped a kiss on top of his head.

"I'll make coffee in that scary machine of yours," Alec sighed.

"Could you at least put on some pants first?"

Alec straightened. He cocked a pose. "I don't see anything wrong with what I'm wearing." 

"What do you have against pants?" Logan grumbled. Nevertheless, his eyes drifted downwards before snapping back up to Alec's cheeky grin.

"Hey, figured it'll save us some time." Alec waggled his eyebrows. "For whenever you get back to bed." He waved towards himself. "Besides, nothing you haven't seen before."

"It's the fact you do this around open windows."

"You live on the penthouse level! Who's going to see?"

"People in other penthouse apartments?"

"Oh. _Them_. Hey! There's one now! Should I wave?"

"Alec!"

 

 

"Thank you for gracing us with your presence, sir," Normal bellowed. He threw out an arm and bowed his head. "We here at _Jam Pony_ are honored you remember us."

Alec shot Original Cindy a look. _See?_

Original Cindy shrugged and sashayed to the women's lockers. Traitor.

Alec trudged over to Normal's cage. He could have tortured Logan walking around the penthouse naked all day, but _no_ , Cindy had to show up after lunch and harangued him to be a responsible _Jam Pony_ employee. Damn it. 

Wired biked past him. He snickered as Normal screeched again about riding indoors. He was whistling the _Funeral March_. 

Inspiration struck. Alec bit back a grin. He draped himself backwards over the window ledge that stood between Normal's domain and the real world outside.

Normal eyed Alec with distaste.

"Don't worry," Alec wheezed. He squinted upside down at Normal, who took a step back. "Doctors said I was no longer contagious."

"C-contagious?" Normal's eyes darted to the disinfectant spray by the _Jam Pony_ phone. "What do you mean contagious? A Detective Sung called about you in witness protection."

_Oops._

Alec coughed into his hands as hard as he could, covering his face so Normal wouldn't see him knuckle his eyes. When Alec pulled his hands away, he knew he succeeded making his eyes bloodshot because Normal blanched.

"That's the cover story," Alec rasped. He coughed again, this time not covering his mouth. A faceful of spray made his tears genuine. 

"Cover story?" Normal squawked.

"Oh yes," Sketchy said, popping out from seemingly nowhere. He draped an arm around Alec's shoulders. "That thing in Mongolia? Real nasty stuff. They didn't want to alarm the public. Our boy here was so brave." 

While Normal sputtered, Sketchy winked at Alec. 

"Congrats, man!" Sketchy thundered. "I heard the CDC cleared you!" He high fived Alec. When the lanky messenger turned to high five Normal, Normal manically sprayed him instead.

Alec twisted around on his belly to lean deeper into the window. "See? Totally not contagious! I dragged myself out of my deathbed because I heard you were understaffed and I didn't want to leave my _Jam Pony_ team in a—"

A brown package bounced off Alec's shoulder.

"Hot run on Pike! The sick days are coming out of your pay! Go, before you get all of us sick!" Normal punctuated it with a liberal spray. 

Alec exchanged a smirk with Sketchy.

"You're all heart, Normal," Alec remarked as he swapped hot runs with Cindy for one across the street from Jonas Cale's office instead. Jonas has been out of the spotlight since Logan was in the hospital.

Alec batted his eyes at Normal. 

"All I could think about as I was lying in my sickbed was you, Norm," Alec wheezed.

Normal replied with another cloud of disinfectant.

 

 

"Package for Jonas Cale?"

Alec pretended to be fascinated with the pert ass of a woman who went by. The front desk guard pulled his scrutiny away from the hot run to give Alec a dirty look. He tugged his canary red blazer down with a snap as he gave Alec the stink eye. The guy was probably pissed someone had the gall to bother him when it was almost time to clock off.

"Nice place." Alec bared his teeth at the guard, his eyebrows going up and down. He wondered if it was a requirement that all security guards needed to be bald, square jawed and constipated looking?

"Like the décor," Alec threw in. He blatantly leered at another woman. She wore a lemon yellow suit and brown spiked heels. She looked and walked like a giraffe, but Alec stared at her chest anyway. He was tempted to drool but figured that would only get him thrown out instead.

Sure enough, the guard was too disgusted to study Alec's id carefully enough to realize the photo was a blonde and not a guy with black hair and a scar on his forehead. Original Cindy's makeup magic was good, but not good enough if someone took a closer look.

"I'll take it," the guard grasped the envelope with two fingers like it had cooties.

Alec recoiled. He held up his hands. "What? No way." He jabbed a thumb towards the envelope. "See that? Says 'Authorized Signature required.' I gotta get Jonas Cale's signature."

"He's out for a lunch meeting."

"It's four ten! How long do your big wigs get for lunch?" 

The guard's jaw twitched. "Besides, you need an appointment." The guard's hand stayed extended out. "I'll sign for it."

"Dude, clean your ears: I said I need el jefe's signature. He's going to be CEO again next week, right?" Alec thought quickly. "What about his assistant? CEOs usually have one or a dozen."

"He does have one. And you can see him. When you make an appointment." The guard lumbered to his feet. "Give that to me."

Out of the corner of Alec's eye, he spotted the interim CEO Gilbert Neal with a small group of Asian men in suits. Neal kowtowed economically with them, who did the same. He gestured with broad sweeps of his arms towards _Cale's_ main lobby. He grinned broadly like he did in the various press conferences he held denouncing _Cale Industries'_ 'shocking activities' and promised to 'return _Cale Industries_ to its honored glory.'

Alec smirked to himself when he caught the guard fidgeting and eyeing the group

"Fuck, man, no way," Alec said, louder. He juggled his battered messenger bag and the sack of poster tubes for show. "Look, I can't stand around here while I explain to our customer why we couldn't deliver as per his instructions. I have hot runs to deliver."

The messenger bag banged noisily. People stopped to stare.

Alec pointed to the envelope the guard held. His bag of tubes rattled against the partitions that made the security booth. _Thonk, thonk, thonk!_ The sound ballooned in the marble and glass lobby. 

The investors around Neal glanced up. 

Alec bit back a grin when he caught the guard gulping when he glanced across the lobby.

"You see that?" Alec was close to shouting. Behind him, some of the business suits steered clear of them. "That shit's from Logan Cale to Jonas Cale. Logan. _Cale_. Of _Cale Industries_? He specifically asked my company to get for a signature from a Jonas Cale or his assistant. Do you see that? Cale to Cale? They're playing some fancy familial telephone. I can't leave this with you without a signed receipt. Are you a Cale? Our policy at _Jam Pony_ states—"

"All right!" the guard hissed. His eyes flicked over to the group again. "Get your signature and go. Take elevator Three. I'll send it directly up to the level."

"Thank you kindly, sir," Alec said solemnly as he trotted towards the elevators. He felt the guard's blistering glare all the way.

 

 

As soon as the elevator doors closed, Alec shoved an earwig into his right ear.

"I'm in. Car three." 

_"Overriding Three now."_

Alec waited, his eyes glued to the red light on the security camera. When the light blinked twice, he wiggled his fingers at it.

"Hi gorgeous," Alec chirped.

_"Hello,"_ Logan sighed, only half-exasperated. His voice was a purr in Alec's ears. _"This is a bad idea."_

"Hey, your uncle has been a no show the past two days. I can't recon if the bad guys don't even have the decency to show up." Alec pulled out the briefcase he hid in the messenger bag. "It'll work. Are you doing your magic, _Eyes Only_?" 

_"I've looped the feed. They can't see the car's stopped between four and five and all the camera is showing is you standing there."_

Alec scoffed as he pulled out the suit rolled up tightly in one of the numerous _Jam Pony_ tubes in his bag. "I still think you should show them porn on their monitors."

_"Yes,"_ Logan drawled, _"Because they wouldn't realize anything's wrong then."_

"Those guys are too busy scratching their itchy dicks to notice anyone trying to break into their corporate offices. It's not R and D or any of the labs; who wants to break into here?"

_"We do if we're to find the original paperwork authorizing all the budget transfers to pay the Reds and the hoverdrone tests."_

Alec frowned as he threaded the tie through his collars. "You think there's still paperwork around? Wouldn't they have shredded them by now? I would have."

_"Someone had to have signed for all those electronic wires in those large amounts. And if it's not only my uncle, someone else has to be the co-signer."_ Logan hesitated. 

_"If this silent partner was calling the shots as well as pointing the gun, Jonas might be next. He must suspect their partnership is about to end violently. If I were my uncle, I would hold onto the paperwork as an insurance policy."_

Alec grunted. "Too bad it didn't cover Bennett as well." He grimaced. "Sorry, babe."

Logan breathed out slowly. It wasn't sexy this time. It sounded tired. _"No, you're right. Too bad."_

"Killing your cousin could have been a warning." Alec shrugged into the jacket. Damn, it was a perfect fit. Somehow imagining Logan giving his tailor Alec's measurements made his stomach flip-flopped.

_"Killing me would have been a warning. Killing Bennett only made an enemy out of Jonas. I think killing me was the original plan. When Bennett said he would meet me, the partner felt like he had to act quickly."_

Alec grumbled under his breath. He wished Logan stopped talking about the attempts on his life like they were chess moves. He set his teeth as he finished tucking in his dress shirt. "I'll find something for you."

_"Their security software reboots every two minutes to avoid the very thing we're doing. Hurry."_

Alec grinned as he smoothed down his trousers and adjusted his tie. "Actually, I'm already done. No, wait. One last thing." 

The messenger bag was now rolled up into the leather briefcase it carried before. His jeans and shirt were jammed inside as well, but it was the small hard case that Alec was looking for. 

Alec had waved the case towards the camera before he pulled out a pair of thin, golden wire spectacles. He slipped them over his nose. He squinted through them to adjust to the lens. It was the lowest prescription he could find in case he was searched.

"How's that?" Alec tipped his face towards the lens. He winked. 

The earwig was silent.

Alec frowned. "Too much? I was going for handsome, genius elitist."

_"No. It's…it's g-good,"_ Logan stammered. He cleared his throat. _"Security software is rebooting in three, two…"_

The red light on the camera had blinked three times before it became a solid red indicator again.

The time it took for the security system to do its automatic reboot, Alec straightened up, dropped his smile and screwed his face to look bored as he pretended to check 21P's platinum watch on his wrist.

_"Moving the car up to the fortieth floor,"_ Logan murmured as the elevator car shuddered back into power.

"You rich people," Alec muttered under his breath so only Logan can hear. "What is it with the top floors?"

_"It's the bourgeoisie in us,"_ Logan said dryly. _"Something about looking down is appealing to us rich people."_

"I like looking down too," Alec whispered in a purr. "I like looking down and watching my cock slipping into your—"

_Ding._

"Discussion for later," Alec said hurriedly. He hefted his briefcase, adjusted his eyeglasses and briskly strode out the elevator car the moment the doors parted.

The CEO office took up the entire floor with its empty waiting area furnished with leather, thick green carpet and a marble topped front reception area standing in the middle. Interestingly enough, the doors etched with Jonas Cale's name and the position was new. 

"They installed bullet resistant glass," Alec murmured, knowing Logan would hear. "Looks recent. The silicon around the frames isn't discolored. You could be right: your uncle feels the target on his back."

"Excuse me." A thin man with a microphone headset over his closely shaven head barely gave Alec a glance when he walked through the main doors. He muttered to himself as he scribbled something on the top sheet of the stack on his desk. "Who the hell are you?"

Alec harrumphed, trying to sound insulted. "Dempsey Forrest, esquire from the central office."

_"Dempsey?"_ Logan commented archly. Alec ignored him.

Headset guy appeared equally impressed.

"This is an authorized floor only. You can't be up here without an appointment or have a level four security clearance."

In Alec's ear, Logan sucked in his breath.

_"Damn it, they must have changed the access levels after Benn—Alec, abort the mission. Alec—"_

"I know that," Alec said smoothly over Logan's urgent words hissing in his ear. "Do you think security would have let me up here otherwise?" He huffed, checking his watch again. He noted the man's eyes lingering on the watch, apparently recognizing its brand. "I'm required to get Mister Cale's signature on some forms that need processing this evening."

The man narrowed his small eyes at Alec. It left him looking severely nearsighted. As he straightened from behind the workstation, Alec spotted the greasy brown paper bag lunch and the various stacks of paperwork on his desk. A half-eaten sandwich was congealing on a flap of wax paper. Judging by the oily patches on the wrapping, lunch was forgotten long enough to become too gross to eat. Alec suspected this was routine. 

"No one told me anything," the man said in a clipped voice. "He's not here. I don't have you down on Mister Cale's schedule."

Alec shrugged. "He's on his way to meet me here."

"You can't wait here. New security guidelines. You're going to have to leave—"

Alec zeroed in on the forms behind the man. He quickly read them even though they were upside down.

"Look, I was pulled out a very important meeting to do this for Mister Cale." Alec checked his watch again. "If I can't reach Mister Cale, I was told to report directly to a Robert Dale instead. He would know what to do."

The mentioned Robert Dale squared back his shoulders.

"I'm Robert Dale," Dale said, his voice noticeably deeper now. He wiped his fingers on a crumpled paper napkin.

_"Alec, I'm in his email accounts. Last year, he submitted a report that recommended budgetary cuts to Cale's waste disposal contracts. He's been asking his supervisor about it. No one ever got back to him."_

Alec stuck out his hand. "Dale, huh? Nice to finally meet you. I was very impressed with your report."

Dale hurriedly took off his headset. He almost lost his balance trying to stretch his arm across the station to grab Alec's hand.

"You read it?" Dale's voice cracked, unable to maintain the authoritative timber. "I-I…thank you. I submitted it months ago, but I hadn't heard back, I assumed…"

"Oh, your report was making the rounds. It's been the talk of every executive meeting I was in," Alec assured him. "Your suggestions were making waves with my bosses." In his earwig, he heard Logan madly typing away.

"They…They were?"

_"Alec, I just promoted and transferred him to Los Angeles to head Internal Operations."_ Logan sounded smug. _"In fact, they were expecting him there yesterday."_

"Actually…" Alec mildly frowned. "I thought you would be in Los Angeles with your team already."

"M-my team?" Dale's eyes rounded. Now he looked half-awake, which was an accomplishment.

"Since you're their new head of Internal Ops," Alec said, scratching his jaw, looking perplexed, "I would have thought you would have wanted to tour your new department before you officially start. Unless…" Alec paused long enough to make Dale fidget.

"Oh, did you turn it down?" Alec opened his eyes as wide as he can. "But why? I heard it was a great position and they offered such a nice relocation package—"

"No!" Dale yelped. At Alec's arched eyebrow, he blanched. "No, I-I mean, I'm not turning it down! No, no—Los Angeles? Really? I—no one told me!"

Alec grimaced. He shook his head. "Sounds like the paperwork got mixed up again." He sighed. "This is why we need to do things like this in person." At Dale's frantic nod—geez, he was going to give himself whiplash—Alec checked his watch again.

"Listen, go see Corporate Accounts on the third floor. I'm pretty sure your ticket and relocation package are still there." Alec could hear Logan grumbling as he furiously typed. Alec inwardly winced. "I suggest you show up there as soon as you can before our bosses think you changed your mind."

"Oh no. No, no, no. Not changing my mind." Dale looked like he was a syllable short of fainting. "I'll go home right now. I don't have a lot to pac—"

Alec shrugged. "Why bother? With the package I heard they gave you, you could just buy everything you need right there."

_"Alec,"_ Logan groaned. The typing rose to an endless jangle of keys.

Dale's mouth dropped open. "I— _oh_ , I, I'll go right now. I—wait." He looked around the area.

Uncertainty flickered across the assistant's face. 

Dale hesitated. "You should really be downstairs."

"Who's going to let Mister Cale in?" Alec pointed out.

"Well, maybe I should stay and wait for Mister Cale. I want to thank him for the opportunity…"

Alec's jaw twitched trying to keep his smile up. "I could wait for him. Go, they're waiting for you in LA, V.P. Dale."

_"Alec,"_ Logan growled. _"I can't hack that fast."_

Dale gaped at Alec. 

"V—oh. Oh, my God. I—V.P? Yes, I should—my desk—wait, ha ha, not my desk anymore…" 

Dale straightened up his stacks of paperwork. He threw out his lunch, muttering "Never again" and stumbled out of his enclosed area. He took one step towards the glass doors. He stopped.

Alec grinned. He stepped into Dale's space. Before Dale could react, Alec engulfed him in a bear hug.

"Congratulations," Alec crowed. He pounded Dale's back soundly. "This is going to be great for you!"

When Alec stepped away, Dale looked dazed.

"T-thank you." Dale was smiling broadly as well. His hands hovered as if he wasn't sure if he was reaching for his pockets or his head.

Alec waved dismissively at the station. "Go, I'll call Human Resources. They probably haven't hired a replacement as qualified as you yet." He made a face as he checked his watch again. "I'll wait for Mister Cale." He chuckled. "Hurry, before they really think you changed your mind."

Dale inched towards the glass doors and elevators.

"I think the last flight to LA is in three hours," Alec added.

The assistant babbled something and blazed out of there without a backwards glance.

Alec smirked. "See?"

_"I think I broke my keyboard,"_ Logan groused, _"And my fingers."_

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" 

_"The next time you decide to change the plan. Don't."_

"You're so hot when you're bossy like that," Alec whispered. "Wanna have phone sex? I think the office is soundproofed."

_"Alec."_

Snickering, Alec shut the glass doors to the floor. 

"I'm alone. Can you access this level's systems?"

_"The cameras work on the same line, but the keycard for Jonas' office runs on a different server. Without a security keycard—"_ Logan stopped when he heard the telltale _click_.

"Did you know," Alec said cheerfully as he tucked Dale's badge back into his pocket, "people shouldn't clip id badges on the outside? Anyone could swipe it off without them noticing."

_"I would applaud,"_ Logan said dryly, _"But my hands hurt from all that typing."_

Alec slipped into the office. He eyed the paintings on the wall. Shit, those looked real.

"Poor baby," Alec cooed as he stroked the frame of one picture that hung over the fireplace. Seriously? Who needs a fireplace in their office? "Want me to kiss and make better?"

Logan scoffed.

Despite the building's modern glass exterior, Jonas Cale's office mirrored his mansion with its mahogany furniture and marble floors. All the place was missing were a few of those naked statues. 

_"There's an invoice last year for some construction on the east wall."_

Alec felt behind the paintings and first edition books where Logan directed until he found it.

"Fake wall," Alec said needlessly. "Whoever did this was good. Even I can't tell just by looking at it."

The extra panel of wood was behind and between two shelves. Alec had to empty out the built in bookcase, unscrew the shelf before the camouflage was revealed.

Prying the panel required unbolting the wood colored screws on each corner. Alec's small lockpick set didn't have a large enough screwdriver. By the time Alec was done, his fingertips throbbed from trying to manipulate the little tool. 

Alec set the wood piece down. He shook his hands loose as he took his first real look at what was behind the wall.

"Safe. A big one." Alec studied it critically. "Digital."

_"Think you can crack it?"_

Alec grunted. The safe was complicated, but not impenetrable. 

"I've seen these before. It runs on external power to avoid blackouts. If I can find its battery, I can bypass the tumblers. They should reset to the default combination once I cut the power. Each serial number has a different assigned master code. If you can find me the manufacturer's factory—"

_"I'll find it."_

Alec recited the make, model and serial number to Logan. As Logan's typing replaced the hushed timber of his voice, Alec set to work.

"Everyone thinks a safe is the best place to hide things," Alec muttered as he carefully dismantled the readout screen. "But a safe just says 'Ooh, look, I have expensive shit, you should rob me first'."

Logan grunted. _"That's why I don't keep anything in my safe except for a gun."_

"No, you tend to hide things in peanut butter jars, you sexy sneak, you." Alec bit his lower lip as he traced the wires from the processor chip. "Why do all American made products come unlabeled? Would it kill them to put a sticker or two saying what things are?"

Logan scoffed. _"Why make it easy?"_

"It's not like this is harder either, but a little courtesy would have been nice."

_"I'll drop the safe manufacturer a comment card about that."_

Alec smirked. "You could always tell it to them in a hack, babe."

_"Funny."_

"I have my moments." Alec glowered at the tangle of wires leading to what _could_ be the battery. 

_"Alec?"_

"Yeah?" Alec muttered as he brushed down one loop. Nope, not that one. Damn it. He went for the second.

_"About that…"_ Logan hesitated.

Alec's brow knitted as he plucked the fourth one out of the mess to cut. It wouldn't give. Ah ha.

"About what?" Alec murmured. 

_"The peanut butter jar…"_

Alec made a face. "Are you craving that? Please don't tell me that's what we're having for dinner later. I wanted Chinese."

Logan sighed. _"No. I…the penthouse…you haven't said anything about it. About adding your name to the deed—I figured we would talk about it after I was discharged, but…"_

Alec gritted his teeth. The wire was wrapped around a cluster of other wires. The jumble hung centimeters above a touch sensitive security transmitter. Great. He was tempted to rip out the whole mess, but that could trigger too many alarms. The slightest pressure would send out a silent alarm. Apparently Jonas Cale spared no expense in upgrading the safe.

_"You never said about what you thought of the idea."_ Logan's voice lowered. Which didn't make sense. Why was he whispering?

"What idea?" Alec slipped a pair of tweezers between the wire and the transmitter's contact for some more breathing room. He carefully balanced the tweezers as he reached in for the wire.

_"About moving in with me."_

The tweezers slipped. 

"Fuck!"

_"Alec?"_

Alec balked. He clumsily yanked the wire out before the tweezers dropped onto the transmitter. 

The safe bleated as it lost power.

The tweezers clattered onto the transmitter.

Nothing.

Alec looked around him, but everything appeared normal. No lights. No alarms.

Reviewing the past few seconds, Alec blanched. He tapped the earwig even though it didn't really do anything.

"Hey, uh…the power's out," Alec said timidly. He waited. The line was quiet. "Babe?"

_"I found the master code."_ Logan sounded calm. That's good, right?

"Great." A lump lodged in Alec's throat. He swallowed repeatedly as he punched in the combination. The earwig was clear of chatter, even of static.

The safe gave a quiet _beep_ and swung open.

Alec squinted inside. He groaned.

_"What?"_

"I see what looks like a couple of hundred Gs, a few fake passports and a key?" Alec scowled at the safe. "Fuck it; I'm taking the cash." He shoved the tightly bound stacks of hundreds into the briefcase. Alec stopped.

"The key."

_"What about it?"_

Alec fished out the key. He turned the silver piece left and right, studying the shape. 

"Remember how I was saying a safe is not actually the best place to hide things?" 

Logan was quiet.

Alec remembered the rest of the conversation they had after that. He winced.

"I mean, what if your uncle felt the same?" Alec hurried on as he tucked the key into his briefcase. "Whatever proof he could be holding against his partner might be stashed in there instead." He aimed for the large desk that took up most of the width of the room. It could have easily fit five overpaid CEOs. Geez, compensating much?

"This looks like a safe deposit key," Alec continued. He circled the desk. All the drawers were locked. He made a face. "Is there anything in his records about a safe deposit box?"

_"He has twelve under his name. Not counting the joint account ones he has with Aunt Margo."_

"Great," Alec muttered. He crouched down and picked a drawer.

_"What are you doing?"_

"Jonas has a desk the size of your car with fifteen drawers here. He has a gold plated letter opener and some little platter with his business cards. All this brass and gold is hurting my eyes," Alec grumbled. "I mean, does he even open his own letters? Jesus, I think that pen is actually made of platinum."

Alec peered into the third drawer. No joy. "He might have something written down that says what and where this key opens." He swore when he tugged open the fourth. Nada. "But I'm not even finding a porn magazine in here. Don't rich people read?"

Growling under his breath, Alec dropped down into the padded leather chair. 

Alec froze.

It was quiet, high pitched like a squeak, like a coil for a chair.

Except…

"Babe?" Alec whispered.

_"Did you find it?"_

"Well…I found something." Alec slowly stretched his arm and grabbed the polished brass tray off the desk. The business cards on it fluttered to the floor.

_"Alec?"_

"You know when you thought Jonas might be a target?" Alec bent down carefully. _Slowly. Don't shift your weight._ He tilted the metal to the undercarriage of the chair.

_"Alec,"_ Logan said, sharper as he picked up on Alec's even tone, _"What is it?"_

The mirrored surface reflected angry red digits, the wires and the gray mass wedged into the chair's springs. 

Fuck.

"Eleven seconds," Alec hissed when he zeroed in on the red digits.

_"Eleven seconds? What's eleven seconds? Alec—"_

Alec hoped because it has a timer, it was only pressure activated, not pressure triggered. He jammed the thin metal between the coils and where he guessed where the bomb was to delay any incendiary ignition. He slid across the desk. Pens, brandy and all those fancy desk bits and pieces crashed to the floor.

_Ten…nine…_

_"Alec!"_ Logan shouted.

"Bomb," Alec bit out. "Office."

_Eight…seven…six…_

Alec snatched up his briefcase. He slammed the office doors shut behind him. 

"Get the fire alarm!" Alec barked. 

_Five…four…_

Alarms abruptly wailed. The hallway bled red and yellow as klaxons rang. Alec heard Logan yelling in his earpiece as he yanked open the glass doors.

_"Get in the elevator!"_

_Three…two…_

Alec shoved the glass doors shut and threw himself into Car three which just opened.

_One._

Noise and light were not simultaneous. The bomb's flash of light flared under the edge of the heavy wooden door a breath before the ear shattering sound.

The boom came along with the office doors bursting off its hinges. As Alec flung himself down face first to the elevator floor, the doors slammed into the glass doors that led to the general area.

Even reinforced glass couldn't withstand six inch thick wood and fire. The glass cracked, they began to bulge.

"Down!" Alec shouted. "Car three! Down! Now!"

The glass doors buckled and burst into shards. Alec yelped. He covered his head with his arms as flames and glass rushed towards him.

The elevator doors slammed shut.

_"Hold on!"_

The elevator car lurched, bucking under the vibrations of the explosion and suddenly coming to life under Logan's command.

The initial drop…was not fun. 

Alec gagged as the car abruptly went from forty to thirty five too fast to be deemed safe. He wrapped his arms and legs around the grab bars as the elevator hiccupped and jerked down to twenty nine next.

The elevator jolted and went dark. Alec grunted as the abrupt stop shook him off the bars. It felt like his teeth was still rattling.

_"This is as far as it'll go,"_ Logan said. He sounded winded. Alec knew the feeling. _"Fire safety measures kicked in and shut down all power to the elevators."_

"Yeah," Alec wheezed. "Okay." He staggered to his feet—oh good, he still have his knees, yay—and retrieved his briefcase.

_"Alec."_

"Later. When I come back."

Logan exhaled unsteadily.

_"See that you do."_

 

 

Six minutes later, back in his shirt and jeans, his messenger bag carrying the briefcase again, Alec limped past the security guard from before. The guard was flushed with exertion as his arms flailed to herd the masses out. He saw Alec and started.

Alec could smell his hair on the back of his head still smoldering. He wiped the soot off his face with a sleeve. He probably only made it worse.

"What the hell?" Alec bitched as he stomped past the stunned guard. "I thought this was a non-smoking workplace."

With the guard still gaping after him, Alec drew his messenger bag tight to his body and disappeared into the panicked crowd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: I thought _today_ was Tuesday. I lost a day due to editing and editing and editing and lack of coffee. Sigh.


	41. Chapter 41

His butt itched.

Alec stared cross-eyed at the ceiling. The carpet was thick and plush against his bare ass; it was a little weird, a little scratchy, yet he couldn't bring himself to move. Or care. 

His t-shirt was bunched up under his left shoulder. His jeans were twisted around his left ankle. There was a cut on the back of his neck from shrapnel he should really clean up. And he still smelled smoke in his hair. It made his eyes watered.

But Logan was lying lengthwise across Alec's body. The sharp edge of his pelvis dug into Alec's belly. His hands were curled broad and possessive around his sides. His semi-rigid cock was velvety hot tucked into the crease of Alec's thigh.

"I should get blown up more often," Alec blurted out. 

Logan pulled his mouth away from where he concentrated on giving Alec's left nipple equal attention. He glared, but the drying come on his chin dispelled any "Gr gr."

"Not funny," Logan growled. 

Alec's dick twitched, filling again because twice wasn't enough when Heather sounded like this. Logan sounded exactly like when Alec had stumbled back from the explosion, too. Logan had demanded Alec let him check for injuries.

Things got a little more naked after that.

Alec cupped Logan's jaw. His thumb rubbed at the white stain. He pressed his thumb to Logan's lower lip.

"Admit it," Alec murmured, "it was a little funny." His eyes glazed over when Logan gently suckled Alec's thumb clean. "Each time I get blown up, I get blowed." 

Alec waggled his eyebrows. "Totally worth the rug burn, by the way. Although I'm fuzzy on how we ended up on the floor here when we started in the kitchen."

Logan's ears pinked.

Alec tweaked Logan's nose because even if he'll never admit it, Logan was freaking adorable like this. 

"Stop that," Logan grumbled. He rubbed the insulted spot with the back of his hand.

"Nope. Never going to happen," Alec quipped. Then he jerked when Logan retaliated with a pinch somewhere way more sensitive.

Logan huffed out a laugh. He dropped his head on Alec's collarbone and tortured the skin with his warm exhales. He rubbed a rough cheek over Alec's shoulder. Alec wished his stupid healing would take a breather so the touch would leave a mark. He liked the idea of feeling warmer spots of skin on him; evidence of Logan's touch.

Alec cupped the back of Logan's head. His fingers gently kneaded the scalp. 

"I'm more than happy," Logan mumbled to Alec's clavicle, "to blow you _without_ you getting blown up first."

"You're missing the punch line, babe." Alec kissed the top of Logan's hair. He remembered the weight of Logan as he shakily lowered himself over Alec's erection. Alec had to help him bend his legs so he could straddle Alec comfortably, but _Christ_ , the picture of Logan, his shoulders rolling back, his biceps flexing, chest heaving, breath ragged as he rode Alec's cock. There were still bruises on his hips where Alec's fingers dug in as the pace quickened to a frantic blur.

"I rather be serious about blowing you." Logan ran the edge of his teeth along the line of Alec's shoulder.

"Agreed," Alec gasped as Logan nibbled his way down to a hardening nipple. "I like that much bet— _Logan_ …" 

Alec arched towards Logan's mouth. He curled his hands into Logan's hair. He groaned, pressed his shoulders into the carpet and bared his throat.

Lips traced Alec's jugular, kissing up to his jaw. Logan lingered under the jaw line, ignoring Alec's plea as he rutted his renewed and painfully neglected erection over the flat planes of Logan's abdomen. His hands skimmed down the length of Alec's body, inspecting. There was something desperate about the way Logan's hands roamed. 

The heat roiling in Alec's belly cooled. 

"I'm okay," Alec murmured. He rubbed his thumb at the base of Logan's skull. He pressed in small circles. Against him, Logan didn't relax. "I am probably _so_ fired tomorrow because I didn't go back to _Jam Pony_ , but I'm here, babe."

Logan tilted up to study Alec. His eyes were a cloudy green; without the sheen of his spectacles, Logan looked vulnerable and unsure. 

Alec found their roles switched. He wished there was some training he could dredge up for this moment. Logan was the one normally with answers and promises. Alec? Alec was taught to 'repeat after me' and mimic and fill a role for the next mission.

Logan was his only mission now.

Alec whispered reassurances as his own hands stroked down Logan. He wasn't sure why his own hands were unsteady. It was stupid. Logan's safe; he was miles away from the bomb. 

Nevertheless, Alec's fingers followed the knobs of Logan's spine, lingering on the scars that broke up the strong line of the other's back. He thought about the two new scars there. They were pink, fading to bone white thanks to the transfusion, but Alec could still see them as bloody holes in torn flesh, angry and ragged, unnatural on skin. 

Suddenly, Alec knew what Logan felt listening to Alec run, listening to the explosions, listening to Alec's harsh breathing as he clung to the elevator floor. It was the same as when Alec watched Logan's car flipped. Time had frozen then; Alec's throat refused to release the full scream. All that escaped was Logan's name; all the denial, the rage and the fear was left lodged in his throat.

Alec framed Logan's face with his hands. 

"Logan," Alec whispered. He locked gazes with Logan. "I'm okay."

Logan stared at Alec, maybe seeing Alec for the first time tonight. His eyes lost their fevered gleam. His mouth relaxed its tight-lipped line. He shuddered. His erection trapped between their bodies waned. But that was all right because it wasn't about sex. 

Alec crushed Logan to his chest. His legs wrapped around Logan's middle. He knew he looked ridiculous clinging to Logan like a koala, but the feeling ballooning inside his chest wouldn't let him do anything else but this. 

"I'm okay," Alec said fiercely into Logan's hair. "I'm _always_ going to be okay."

Logan laid stock still in Alec's arms. 

Arms snaked around Alec's shoulders. They were loose until they weren't and held Alec with the same ferocity. Logan's face felt overheated. His breathing scalded Alec's skin. 

Logan held onto Alec; his fingers dug in, bruising and deep, with no sign of letting go.

 

 

"I thought you got blown up."

Alec narrowed his eyes at the strange combo of Phil and Original Cindy filling Logan's doorway. For _this_ , he got out of bed and put pants on? Logan insisted. Spoilsport. 

"I'm okay, really. Your concern is embarrassing," Alec drawled. He folded his arms in front of his bare chest. With his accelerated healing, bruises didn't stay long. However, it felt like the marks Logan peppered his chest glowed radioactive under the pair's eyes. 

Original Cindy smirked knowingly. Her large platinum hoops glinted as she tossed her beaded braids back. She elbowed past Alec.

"No, come in," Alec muttered, "It's not like we were busy or anything. Just naked." 

Distantly, Alec heard the shower burble on. Logan transferred over to the shower bench. Water noisily sluiced down sex-warmed skin. Logan was showering. Without him. Damn it.

"Don't be disgusting," Cindy shot back over her shoulder as she strolled into the penthouse like she owned the place. Technically, Logan owned it—Wait, no, Alec too now. His name (sort of his name) was added to the deed. 

Alec's throat worked. He closed the door, his eyes clouding over in thought. They've never talked about the deed or moving in: after Logan got out of the hospital or after the bombing. 

The thought of his name on the penthouse meant it's now a regular place which also meant _Logan_ would be a regular thing. Not that Alec considered anyone else. Alec felt queasy with the thought of possibly touching someone other than Logan. And his chest filled with something _boiling_ imagining anyone other than himself kissing Logan.

Alec bit his lower lip. It would have been easier if Logan said something when Alec returned. He wasn't sure how to bring it up with Logan now. _Hey, remember that thing you had asked me before I sat down on a bomb?_

Distracted, Alec was unprepared for two arms wrapping around him from behind. Faint smells of motor oil, mildew and guacamole swirled around Alec.

"Off!" Alec sputtered as he was lifted up inches off the floor. He broke out of the enthusiastic bear hug with a well placed elbow. 

"Hey, no squishing the blown up guy!" Alec jabbed Phil in the chest. He directed his glare to Cindy when she snorted.

"What the hell are you guys doing here anyway? Curfew starts in an hour."

Cindy plucked a slice of cucumber out of the salad Logan began to make until their dicks interrupted again. She popped the crisp vegetable in her mouth.

"Since when do _you_ worry about curfew?"

"I don't." Alec rolled his eyes. "But unless you don't mind traveling through sewers to avoid the sector cops, you and yourself should worry."

Cindy scrunched up her nose. "The sewers? For reals? Original Cindy heard there's some dark and creepy shit going on down there." At Phil's perked up look, she added, "Like howling and people disappearing dark and creepy."

"We are not in the monster hunting business," Alec snapped when Phil casted pleading eyes towards him. "If _Eyes Only_ won't tell it in a hack; it's not worth knowing," He folded his arms in front of him again. As usual, it didn't faze Cindy. 

"Hippy Hop here showed up at work babbling to Original Cindy about how you got blown up. Normal's freaked out _Jam Pony_ might have to pay work comp." 

Alec dragged his glare to Phil.

Phil helplessly shrugged.

"I thought she should know."

"You are such a security breach—ouch! What the hell?" Alec cradled the back of his head. He shot Cindy an injured look.

"Why is Original Cindy hearing this from Fan boy and not from you?" Cindy demanded.

Alec spread his arms open. "Because I'm fine! Do I look blown up to you?" 

Cindy pursed her red lips. It was a beautiful shade on her, it matched the bra that he could see through her cream colored cropped tank, but Alec doubted it was the right time to tell her that.

Alec squinted at Phil. The goof sheepishly smiled back.

"I promised I would tell her if anything…" Phil shook his hands, wiggling his fingers in the air miming a _kablooey_. "Justice would have told her if I didn't."

Alec's frown sharpened. Phil chuckled nervously and took a step back. 

Behind Cindy. 

"I'm in one piece, all right? Look." Alec slowly turned. When he was done, he found Cindy still looked unimpressed.

Alec felt a warm feeling in his stomach like he just drank a mug of Cindy's jasmine tea. He got (sort of) why Logan freaked out about the whole 'holy-shit-my-cute-ass-almost-got-blown-off' situation. Hell, Alec was upset (homicidally so) about Logan getting shot, but he figured it was a Dean and Heather thing.

"Listen. I'm good. I uh…" Alec twisted the waist ties for his sweatpants around his fingers. He cleared his throat. He mentally flailed and latched on to what Phil said seconds before.

"Wait." Alec frowned. " _Justice_?"

Phil beamed. He stuck out his chest. Cindy shook her head and edged away.

"Officer Justice," Phil said proudly. "For our comrade in arms."

"You gave Matt a code name?" Alec wasn't sure if he should be amused or horrified. He settled on somewhere in-between. "Does he know?"

Cindy snorted, "Phil named Matt Sung Officer Justice?"

"Don't use our real names!" Phil squawked.

"How about Original Cindy calls you Stupid Ass Stupid instead?"

"Phil's fine."

Alec sighed loudly. "Okay, everybody out. Logan and I were _busy_ and we're hoping to be busy all night."

"That's disgusting," Cindy commented.

"Busy with what?" Phil asked, interest piqued, but he balked when Alec glowered towards him. "Not asking."

"Good," Alec growled, "Not telling." He waved towards himself and did a spin around to show the two his ass—er, assets.

"There. Satisfied? You've seen me. I got both arms, both legs. I still look as handsome as hell. We'll debrief tomorrow at 0830 before I go see if I still have a job at _Jam Pony_." He pointed to Phil, who stared cross-eyed at his finger.

"And no more code names."

Phil appeared crestfallen. "But you called me _Street Sweeper_ in the cemetery."

"Would you rather he had called you _Phil_?" Cindy countered. She shoved the vigilante ahead of her in the direction of the door. "You still have a job. Herbal and Sketchy put the fear of Jah in Normal. The guy also knows no one else is crazy dumb enough to want to work there."

"Cool." It was odd how Alec's insides loosened at the sound of that. So he still has his crappy underpaying job. Yay?

"But we should all use code names!" Phil protested even as he was pushed through the door. "Our fearless leader already has one; we should follow his example—Oh! I thought of one for yo—"

"Phil," Alec growled as he closed the door on Phil's plaintive "But it's a good one!" Alec rapped his head repeatedly on the door.

Alec canted his head towards the bathroom. Maybe if he hurried, Logan might still be in the shower. 

A rapid set of knocks came before Alec could turn around.

"I said no code nam—" Alec blinked when he saw Cindy standing at the door. He cringed when she folded her arms in front of her.

"What's with that face? I only stared at your boobs for a second this time," Alec whined.

"You stared at our…" Cindy's mouth snapped shut at Alec's cheeky grin. She shook her head. "Never mind." She studied Alec, her lips pursed.

"Don't do it again."

Alec's brow knitted. "What? Stare at your breasts?"

"No—yes!" Cindy glowered. "Getting blown up."

"To be fair, I didn't go out to deliberately get…you know." Alec waved his hands in the air to illustrate the explosion at _Cale's_ corporate offices. 

"Original Cindy don't care." Cindy took a deep breath. She suddenly looked small; Alec wanted to pull her behind him only there wasn't any threat. 

"Original Cindy likes her friends to stick around," Cindy said, subdued, "For long as they can. Even idiots like you." She touched her chin briefly. "You're decent. For a man. Original Cindy likes having you around."

Alec stared, speechless. 

"Thanks, I guess," Alec managed. His face felt warm; he was tempted to touch his face to see if it was. 

Cindy reached over and lightly swatted the back of Alec's head.

"So don't do that again. All right? Original Cin—" 

Cindy started when Alec wrapped his arms around her. He dipped her low and planted a loud and wet smack on her lips. They parted with an exaggerated wet _pop_.

"Gross!" Cindy shouted as Alec, sniggering, swung the door shut on her. "Original Cindy needs a toothbrush now!"

"You're my favorite lesbian," Alec singsonged through the door. "My favorite bestest _ever_!"

"Shut up. This the thanks Original Cindy gets? Nasty hetereo man germs?"

Alec snickered as he leaned back against the door. He grinned as he heard Cindy grumbling as she stomped for the elevators. She didn't sound pissed. Well, _much_.

"Was that Phil?" Logan rolled in with a towel draped over his neck. Damn, Logan got dressed already. 

"And Original Cindy," Alec reported. He patted his own cheeks. They ached from smiling, but he found he couldn't stop.

"Original Cindy?" Logan arched an eyebrow as he watched Alec cross to the kitchen to the fridge. 

"Yeah, apparently they like to gossip about us while braiding each other's hair and eat burritos," Alec said to the pan of ribs on the middle shelf. Logan had prepped the meaty ribs for dinner, except they never got to it.

"I see." It was clear Logan didn't, but he played along. "And what they were gossiping about this time?"

Alec felt his face heat up again. Geez, how do Normals function with this? Shielded by the fridge door, Alec tentatively touched his face. 

"Actually, no gossip. They, uh…Came to yell at me," Alec said, distracted as he rubbed a finger across his cheekbone. He waited for his face to cool down before stepping back.

"Yell at you?"

Logan's voice held an edge for some reason as he repeated the words. 

Baffled, Alec arched an eyebrow at Logan's pinched expression.

"For getting blown up," Alec clarified. He pulled out the tray, stopped and amended with "Well, almost blown up. Weird, huh?"

"Oh." Logan's frown eased. "In that case, you deserved it."

"Hey!" Alec glowered at Logan's back as he wheeled to his office. "And who said you could get dressed anyway? I was blown up! I'm traumatized! That means hours in bed! Without clothes!"

"You were _almost_ blown up," Logan reminded Alec. The lines at the corners of his mouth deepened. He held up the key Alec found in the safe. "For this." 

Logan's fingertips were white against the key it held. It shook in his grip. 

"Not just for the key," Alec said, sobering. "For the truth. _Eyes Only_ deals in that, right?"

"The truth?" Logan laughed shortly. "The truth is if you hadn't gotten out of there in time, this all would have been…"

Logan's throat worked. He stared hard at the key for a long moment before he set the key down very deliberately on the workstation. He started typing with more force than necessary. After a series of frenzied _click-clacks_ , Logan sat back into his chair, his shoulders slumping.

"I don't know what the truth is anymore." Logan looked like he wanted to punch his monitor. "It seems like we keep peeling back layers of new facts. I'm getting more questions than answers and the body count keeps rising."

"We know your uncle's a target now. We know there's a partner still at play," Alec pointed out. He frowned as Logan rolled back his shoulders and went back to his computer. He checked his watch. His frown deepened.

Alec lifted the tray of ribs. "You know, we never had dinner. I would stick these in the oven, but it might be safer if you did it yourself. Your fancy kitchen has it out for me. It might try to sauté me."

"I think you're right about Jonas. I doubt the bomb was for the maintenance crew." Logan didn't look towards Alec's way even though Alec knew Logan could see his reflection on the screen. 

Alec set the roasting pan on the island. Logan kept typing.

"How about something else for dinner?" Alec asked casually. He returned the ribs to the fridge and grabbed the loaves of bread. Logan tended to stick everything in the fridge. Once, Alec found the cordless phone next to the milk. Heather could be such an adorable goof at times.

Alec stared at the cut of Logan's shoulder blades visible under his shirt. He remembered running his tongue along the depressions of Logan's ribs. 

"I'm making sandwiches," Alec tried again, louder. "I am an expert on sandwiches."

The keys clattered on, drowning Alec out.

Alec set his jaw. He grabbed the leftover roasted chicken out of the fridge instead. He tore off thick strips of white meat from the carcass. Cold chicken, pickles and anchovies should make an awesome sandwich. 

"Do you want some of the fancy spotted cheese I got last week?" Alec called out as he assembled the food. His tongue stuck out, his face screwing up as he liberally smeared the sandwich with the horseradish stuff Logan liked. Heather's lucky he was so damn pretty, because, horseradish? Yuck. "I think the herb mayo from that shop downstairs is still good." 

Logan shook his head. The monitor in front of him flashed as document after document was pulled up. 

"Almost done," Alec said loudly to be heard above the typing. He studied the food with a pursed mouth. He looked over and stared at the sagging neckline of Logan's top.

Alec piled more chicken into Logan's sandwich. He trimmed the crusts off. He popped the thick, chewy border in his mouth as he moved on to build his. 

"Don't worry," Alec continued as he chewed, "I left out the fishies, but I keep telling you: you don't know what you're missing."

"Go ahead and eat first," Logan muttered, his eyes on the monitor. 

The knife hovered over Alec's sandwich. 

Alec set the utensil down. 

"Not hungry?" Alec asked. His stomach sank when Logan shook his head again. "Later, you think?"

Logan shrugged.

"I mean, we burned a lot of calories with all that naked before." Alec set the food on a plate and put it down by Logan's elbow.

Logan scoffed distractedly. 

"You especially gotta be burning up the cardio." Alec hummed as he remembered and his body was responding to the memory of Logan lowering himself down with his knees braced against Alec's hips, his arms trembling as they guided Logan's loose and wet hole over the blunt head of Alec's cock. Alec widened his stance a fraction; it was too tempting to give into rocking into the confines of his jeans. 

"I've never seen you come that hard before. Hey, maybe explosions are a turn on for you? Explosions. Get it?" Alec snickered when Logan slanted a sideways look at him. "We should sneak out to this field in Sector four. I know a guy who knows a guy who can get us some fireworks because, babe, I really want to see that again."

Alec nudged the plate closer. "But to do that, you need to keep your strength up first."

Logan's eyes drifted over to the plate. Alec suspected Logan didn't see the food itself.

"I swear I left the anchovies out. I placed all of them in my sandwich, you philistine."

Logan cracked a smile. 

"I can make something else," Alec said, sobering. "Anything you want, babe. We promised Doc. You don't want to get me in trouble with him, would you? The guy's got cold hands and zero sense of humor."

Logan glanced up at Alec. His smile wavered. He lowered his eyes to the plate.

"There's plenty of other stuff in the fridge." Alec winced inwardly at the plea he couldn't hide in his voice.

"No, this is fine."

Logan gingerly picked up one half and bit off a corner. He chewed, but Alec suspected Logan didn't taste it.

Alec watched Logan take another bite, a smaller one than the first. Looking at Logan work this hard to eat knotted Alec's insides.

"Hey." Alec prodded Logan with a loose fist. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." 

Alec watched Logan's jaw worked. 

"Is it the food? We could order out."

Logan roughly shook his head. And like that, Logan discarded off whatever dark thoughts that clung to him. He took a bigger mouthful of his sandwich. He finished the first half in another three bites.

Alec sat on the edge of the desk next to the computer. He took his sandwich and took a first bite that was a little too large. He chewed noisily. When Logan glanced over, Alec gaped at Logan with food in his mouth.

"Tasty," Logan deadpanned. The quirk at the corner of his mouth betrayed him when Alec thanked him with a loud burp to his face. Logan grabbed the other half of his meal. He chewed, his jaw working exaggeratedly and swallowed. He repeated it until he was done.

Alec was tempted to applaud him; Logan was almost convincing. Alec ate the rest of his dinner carefully, his thoughts spinning.

"We could flip your uncle as an asset." Alec studied Logan's expression to see how he would react. "He's probably ticked off enough about being on a hit list to do it."

Logan grimaced. The strain around his eyes and mouth didn't ease. "Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I can't find him." Logan heaved a sigh. "He's gone off the grid. He must have done it right before the bombing."

Alec frowned. He gathered up the plates and deposited them in the sink to wash later. "He's not going to get very far without his passports and cash." He narrowed his eyes, thinking. "Or his insurance policy."

"If we can figure out which box this key goes to," Logan muttered. He slouched over his keyboard. He half-heartedly pecked at his keyboard. "Whatever he hid there against his partner is something we could use." He pulled back from his computer. "But the list is too long. Banks, jewelry warehouses, there are even some places who'll offer safe deposits that aren't in any systems."

"Not that long of a list." Alec shrugged one shoulder when Logan turned to him. "Your uncle doesn't look like the type to skulk in the kind of streets that does those sorts of things. Hell, would he even know where to find one? No, I think he would use a bank with all that extra security and kowtowing."

Logan made a face. "True. We Cales are elitists."

"Not all Cales," Alec murmured. 

A tiny smile cast Alec's way.

"Still leaves us with fifteen possibilities." Logan exhaled. "That's a lot to go through."

"Not really." Alec lifted his shoulders briefly. "Despite all those heavy vaults and alarms, banks aren't really that hard to break in to. Shouldn't take more than a few nights' work."

Logan's mouth twisted ruefully. "Voice of experience, I take it?" He tossed over the key. 

Alec caught the slip of metal between his hands in a clap. He winked at Logan. 

"Need to know," Alec teased.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Let me guess: If you tell me, you'd have to kill—" He stopped at Alec's flinch. His smile faded. 

Alec stared at the floor. He swallowed and tried to breathe around the lump lodged in his throat. 

"I would never—" Alec rasped.

"No, you wouldn't," Logan said calmly. He came closer to Alec. His hand slid to palm the back of Alec's knee. 

Alec leaned against the kitchen island. It felt like the furniture was holding him up.

"Never," Alec whispered.

Logan squeezed the back of Alec's knee.

"Even if they drag me back and reboot my brain, I would never—"

"Alec. I know."

Alec took a steadying breath.

"Yeah," Alec croaked. "I'm only saying because you're forgetful, you know? I'm not the one who keeps forgetting to close that damn window."

Logan scoffed. He continued rubbing the back of Alec's knee. It felt nice. Alec leaned into the touch; the nauseating twist in his gut smoothed out. He drew in a careful breath and the urge to throw up faded.

After a moment, Alec stepped away. He wiped his damp palms on his jeans. He shot Logan a weak smirk. 

"Never a doubt, Alec." Logan dropped his hand from Alec's knee. Judging the look on Logan's face, he acutely felt the loss as well.

"Thanks." Alec bumped his hip against Logan's chair. He caught Logan glancing over to his workstation again

"Need to get back to work?" Alec asked.

Logan grimaced. "I should," he hedged.

Alec brushed a finger down Logan's jaw, drawing Logan's gaze up. 

"Something's bothering you," Alec murmured. "Not your uncle. Or the bomb." He tapped the furrow between Logan's eyes. "That line is going to be permanent."

Logan's wheelchair inched back. Alec's finger dropped.

"With what's happened so far, can you blame me?"

Alec sighed. He crouched down by Logan's knee. 

"No," Alec conceded. "If I can get drunk, I would be all dopey with your good scotch by now." He rubbed a circle over Logan's stomach. "But this is something else, though."

Logan dropped a hand on the back of Alec's head. Fingers tentatively dug into Alec's scalp.

"Sorry," Logan fumbled. His fingers stuttered then continued. "I didn't realize I was...I get lost in my head sometimes. You know that." 

Logan's hand moved down to curl around Alec's nape. He gently kneaded the tension on Alec's neck. His hand smoothed down to the round joint of Alec's shoulder.

Heat stirred. Alec bit his lower lip.

"It won't work this time, you know."

Logan's hand pulled away. Alec briefly mourned the loss. He lifted up his head. 

"What?" Logan stared blankly at Alec.

"You did this last time too," Alec murmured. He ruefully rubbed Logan's knee. "Minute I started to push; you tried to distract me with..." He gestured around Logan in general. He smiled wanly.

"To be fair, you're _very_ distracting. And last time, I didn't care." Alec kissed the top of Logan's knee. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," Logan said automatically. Dismay flickered across his features. "I wasn't—"

Alec shook his head. "No, not on purpose. You're not the kind of guy to use sex as a tool." He wanted to say X5s, on the other hand, were trained for it, but Logan's knitted brow advised against it. 

"At first, I thought you were horny as hell like me, but..." Alec tweaked Logan's chin. "Babe, you turn red when I walk around here naked."

Logan lightly punched Alec's shoulder. "I don't have a problem with you naked. It's only—"

"The open windows, I know. A little voyeurism is good for the soul." Alec's breath caught when Logan's fist on his bare shoulder unfurled into an exploring hand. He dropped a hand over Logan's, stopping it over his heart.

Logan lifted his eyes at Alec. Logan looked tired despite the siesta they took before. Then again, there hadn't been any real snoozing involved.

"Is it the transfusion? Besides healing up holes in you fast, you said nothing else was happening." Alec squeezed Logan's stiff hand. He spied Logan's free hand rubbing up and down his leg on its own accord. It seemed like Logan was never aware he was doing it. "Maybe that's all the transfusion can do."

An apology was at the tip of Alec's tongue. He knew there wasn't anything to apologize for. They've talked about it; nothing might happen. And yet, it felt like Alec screwed up somehow because his tricked out blood wasn't good enough.

Logan let out a weary _whoosh_. He shook his head. His hand within Alec's grip didn't move.

Alec gulped. There was a flutter in his throat. "Or is it…er…is it about the other…thing?" 

"The other thing?" Logan's brow knitted. Confusion replaced the lurking shadows. 

"You know…the _thing_. Back in the _Cale_ offices, you were asking me about…you know…" Alec cleared his throat repeatedly, but the funny feeling wouldn't go away. He watched Logan's hand pause on his thigh. "The, ah, the peanut butter thing."

"What?" The furrow deepened. "The peanut but— _oh_." Logan's eyes widened. " _That_ thing." 

Alec grimaced. His eyes dropped. "Yeah. _That_ thing."

Silence stretched between them.

Finally, Logan shook his head. 

"No, it's not—If we do this, you're stuck with m—just…don't worry. I understand."

Alec frowned. "Stuck? Worry? Understand what? Wait…"

Logan reached for Alec's hand, stopped and moved to wrap around the hand rail instead. 

"It's none of those. You know how I can get at times, Alec." Logan grimaced. "It'll pass."

Logan's smile was brittle. _Logan_ felt brittle. It wasn't fair; Logan was a loose tangle of limbs and breath only moments before. Alec wanted it back, not the ghost of when they first met.

Alec settled a palm over Logan's chest; Logan's drifted back over his. "Nothing you say can—Logan, what is it?" His heart clenched when Logan shook his head.

"Let it pass." Logan gave a short laugh. "It will. I'll be better once it's gone."

Alec sighed. He felt Logan's heartbeat under his palm. It pounded sluggishly, heavy, burdened and damned if Alec knew why.

"We need to deal with my uncle, Alec." Logan's chair edged further back. "We need to find him and his evidence; find his partner."

Alec's hand slipped off Logan's chest. There was a flare of panic screaming for him to grab hold and don't let Logan out of his sight. He tensed, his body moving towards Logan, to follow, to take Logan in, to shield Logan.

A hunted look drifted over Logan's face. The wheelchair edged further back. 

"We need to deal with Jonas," Logan repeated sharper. Alec blinked, taken aback. 

Logan's expression melted into chagrin. He visibly shook himself out of whatever dark mood surrounding him. He shot Alec a weary look. 

"We need to finish this, Alec." 

Alec forced himself to rock back on the balls of his feet and stay put. He breathed out between his teeth. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Logan wince. 

"All right. I'll meet Matt and Phil in the morning. Get me a printout of all those registered banks." Everything inside told Alec to forget about Jonas though and figure out what was going on with Logan first.

Alec stayed crouched and shifted closer to Logan. He kneeled between Logan's knees. He slipped his hand over Logan's heart again. 

"We'll figure this out. All of it." Alec stared at Logan. "You hear me?"

Logan's eyes were unreadable with an emotion that echoed a pang in Alec's own heart. But Logan nodded. His mouth twisted up, flattening as soon as he tried to smile. 

Alec kissed the thrumming he could feel. Logan's chest expanded under his lips when Logan took a deep breath, maybe to steady the rocky sound Alec could feel rattling inside Logan's chest.

"I'm here." Alec didn't know why, but it seemed like the thing to say. 

"I know. Thank you." Logan's fingers wrapped around Alec's wrist. They stayed connected and quiet for a long time.

 

 

The muttering had reached Alec before the smell of blood did.

Alec's eyes flew open. Logan's body shook so hard; it felt like he had kicked Alec somehow.

"Babe?" Alec raised his head off Logan's shoulder.

Alec froze.

Clawlike fingers were digging into thigh muscle, raking up and down. Scratches burned red despite the bedroom's darkness. Some, as they stretched long under Logan's curled hands, wept scarlet.

"Shit." Alec reached around the trembling body and tugged Logan's hands away. But the damage was done. Seven or eight bloody lines carved Logan's quads; they smelled faintly metallic.

"Sh. Hey, let's not do that…" Logan's hands twisted out of Alec's grip, reaching for injured flesh again. "No, no, no, stop, come on…"

It was disconcerting how Logan, still lost in his dreams (nightmares?), was able to dig into the scratches again without looking. Blood welled under his fingertips.

Alec heard Logan mutter "It's gone, no, no," growing more distressed. He shook even as Alec's coaxing rose louder with panic.

"Stop." Alec held onto Logan's wrists. He crossed Logan's arms across his chest and away from his legs. He murmured quietly into Logan's ears. What, Alec couldn't recall. He rocked Logan tucked within the hollow of his body, his voice growing softer in a litany of reassurances. 

After a few moments, shy of Alec's voice cracking, Logan stilled. He slumped into Alec, his hands now limp in Alec's grasp.

Alec exhaled shakily. His heart hammered like he had been running. He gulped. He dropped his face into the back of Logan's head.

Against Alec, Logan's breath stuttered.

"Babe? You awake?" Alec whispered.

"A'ec?" Logan sounded drowsy and confused.

"Yeah." Alec squeezed Logan tighter to him. He dropped a kiss into Logan's hair. "Welcome back." 

"Did I go somewhere?" 

Alec's breath ruffled the back of Logan's head when he sharply exhaled. "You could say that." He gave Logan another brief squeeze. "You didn't even leave me a note, you bitch."

The faint coppery odor swirled around them. And how screwed up was it that it was a familiar smell? It harkened from Alec's goddamn past, present and most likely, his future. Was it ever going to become a stranger? 

Alec dropped his face onto Logan's nape. He took a deep whiff of the salty hint of damp skin to replace the metallic stench.

"What's wron—oh."

Alec sensed Logan gingerly touch his own thighs. Logan audibly swallowed.

"I…" Logan didn't finish. He curled in within himself, pulling away from Alec.

Alec tugged Logan even closer. He hooked a leg over Logan's. He wrapped himself around Logan, limbs wound around a body that felt like it was shrinking in his hold.

"Sorry. I…" Once more, Logan wasn't able to finish. 

"It's okay. You're all right. Whatever it is. It's okay." 

"Is it?" Logan said bitterly. He pressed his face into the pillow they shared. He said nothing more.

Alec couldn't think of anything else to say either. He kept his grip on Logan's wrists. He smelled salt. He smelled blood. He smelled something suffocating, muffling his senses, stifling sound. It forbade questions. He heeded it. For now.

"It's okay," Alec repeated. His voice cracked in the end. It left his words sounding like a question instead

Logan's blood stained hands curled around Alec's hands and held on.

 

 

"Fill these out."

Alec made a face as he caught the clipboard Normal threw towards his head like a frisbee.

"Great to be back," Alec shot back. He squinted at the forms.

"Decline of worker's compensation—Hey!" Alec shook the clipboard at Normal. "You sent me to a hot run that went _boom_." 

Normal pursed his lips as he considered Alec.

"You look decidedly uninjured," Normal determined. He leaned out of his cage and swapped the clipboard for another.

Alec blinked at the new one in his hands.

"Unscheduled days off are penalized with a loss of a week's sal— _A week_?" Alec lunged through the window. He ignored Normal's squawk as Alec retrieved the original forms. One day less of crappy pay was better than a week's worth of crappy pay. He scribbled his name on the signature line and tossed the clipboard back to Normal.

"Remember, you did it voluntarily!" Normal shouted at Alec's back. He retreated to the office to file the paperwork.

"And I voluntarily say this sucks!" Alec hollered over his shoulder. _Unbelievable._ He aimed for the payphone on the back wall.

"Make personal calls on your own time!" Normal screeched to be heard from his wired domain and over the messengers' cackling.

Alec stomped to his locker instead.

Grumbling, Alec fiddled with his lock. Whatever. Calling the penthouse only meant five minutes of awkward "How are you?" and "What's for dinner?" on his quarter anyway. And considering the rate Normal finds ways to trim his meager pay, he'll need every quarter to pay back Skeez the Jackson the messenger had spotted him last month.

"I'm not paid enough for the bullshit," Alec muttered. He was tempted to turn around and leave. He should be in the penthouse, watching Logan's backsi—er, back and robbing bad guys.

At the mention of Logan, Alec faltered.

The morning gave way to clarity. Logan's self-inflicted gashes looked worse in the stark light of day. Alec wordlessly got the first aid case in the bathroom. 

Logan was silent while Alec cleaned the wounds. Alec pretended he didn't see the relief in Logan's eyes when he whispered he'll be back late tonight from work. Alec pretended it didn't hurt.

The padlock on Alec's locker wouldn't click. Alec squinted at it. He swore when he noted the scratches around the keyhole. Seriously?

Alec checked left and right to make sure no one was looking. He snapped the lock off with an easy flick of his wrist. He scanned his locker, but nothing was missing. Goody, he still has his crappy junk.

"Bip, bip, bip! Doesn't anyone here want to get paid today?"

Alec didn't want to leave Logan in his penthouse drowning in his morbid thoughts. His nostrils flared, remembering the cloying stink of blood clinging to Logan's fingers.

Right now, Logan was probably following the lead about an alias Jonas Cale might be using to get on a plane heading for South America. Right now, Logan was in the penthouse, typing, digging into Jonas's financials to narrow down the possibilities of what box the key opens to. Right now—

Logan was staring blankly at his computer, blood tipped fingers digging into wounds not yet healed digging deeper until—

A horn blared as Normal tried to get anyone's attention.

Alec could be staying in the penthouse right now. Alec could be lounging in Logan's couch and letting the typing lull him to sleep. He could be making sandwiches or ordering pizzas with anchovies and making sure Logan eats it. Instead, he's listening to Normal trying to herd them like sheep. It was more like herding cats, but he had to give Normal credit. The guy lived for trying.

Behind Alec, River flirted with one of the other messengers. Alec screwed up his face; he tried to discern whether River was back on her team or pitching for a new one thanks to Original Cindy. It was hard to tell at times. 

On the other side of the lockers, Speedy was telling the story of how Sketchy once delivered the wrong hot run and how Normal needed to go back and get it. There were a lot more SWAT guys and gangsters each time Speedy told it.

By the women's side of the locker room, Alec overheard Original Cindy advising Jinx on which lipstick she should wear for her date with—Whoa. _Snicks_? Seriously? The last chick the guy dated complained he gave the worse—

"Welcome back, my brother."

An arm draped over Alec's shoulders. Alec started. Not because Herbal startled him, but because Herbal _didn't_.

"What?" Herbal's broad smile wavered at Alec's stare. "You doing okay, my man?"

Alec shook out of his reverie. He shrugged. "Yea, that Normal, though. He spatzed me out of worker's comp!" He made a face. "I mean, things were blown up. I smelled like barbeque all night. That killed the mood, you know?"

Herbal hummed sympathetically. "Hm, your boy no dealing with you?"

Alec flushed at the 'your boy.' Before he could answer, Herbal chuckled.

"Don't worry. It's all good, all the time."

Alec thought about waking up to Logan hurting himself. He screwed up his face.

"If you say so, Herb."

"You no think so?"

Alec heaved a sigh. "No. I don't. Sometimes things are just bad, you know?" He thought about the silence when he left. He was aware that Logan wasn't angry at him. He wished Logan would be upset at something. It was better than acting tired or resigned; like this was as good as it will ever get. He didn't even react while Alec tended to his wounds. 

"Only if you think them bad." Herbal threw his arm back over Alec's shoulders. "Everything unfolds according to the will of the Most High, not just your desire, my brother. You gotta let it be."

Alec scoffed. "Let it be? Like…let it pass?" He screwed up his face at Logan's favorite word.

"Right."

"Sorry, man, I don't see how letting anything pass be good."

Herbal splayed a hand across Alec's chest. "You want to fix, yeah?"

Alec made a face. "Well, duh."

"But you don't know what to fix?"

Alec swallowed. He resisted tearing his locker door off. He slowly nodded.

"Ah, but what if there is nothing to fix?"

Alec darkened. "There's something to fix, all right, but he won't—my hands are tied."

"Are they? Are they really?" Herbal asked sagely.

Alec slanted a look at Herbal.

"I can't do anything if I don't know what the problem is." Frustration twisted Alec's insides again. 

"We don't have to know all the details, my brother." Herbal patted Alec's chest. "We already know it in there. It already knows what to do."

"Great," Alec muttered, "Be nice if it debriefs me." He splayed his palm over his heart. "I only know it's bad; so how can you say it's all good?"

Herbal patted Alec's chest again. "Because we all are all good in some ways. We have Jah in our hearts even if we don't know it. He school us to fight the darkness, my man."

Alec smiled faintly. "Oh yeah?"

Herbal nodded so hard his brightly colored knit hat almost slipped off his head.

"You can't fix what you can't know, but you can fix what you can _feel_ , so maybe you don't have to know what to fix. Your heart will know. Things will work themselves out. It's all part of the plan."

"Plan? What plan?"

Herbal waved a hand across the air. His eyes were wide and bright; Alec wondered if Herbal was high again. " _The plan_."

Alec checked towards the ceiling, but, nope: no mysterious plan.

"…Okay." Alec nodded slowly. "Gotcha. The plan." He did feel better, though, albeit really confused. But that was Herbal for you: the guy was half guru and half narcotics, but he surprisingly made sense. Most of the time.

Herbal grew serious. "Still. No comp, no pay, no good. Jah thinks we all get our chance to be flush in the sun, but sometimes the Man gets in the way. We get paid dirt, but it still helps other things grow, you know?"

Alec didn't know; he only understood half of it. 

"You doing okay? Broke like a potato chip?" Herbal reached for his wallet. "Need a Benjamin until payday?"

Okay, Alec understood most of it this time. He pounded Herbal's back soundly. A feeling twirled into his chest, weaving to something unfamiliar yet comforting.

"No, man, I'm good. Like you said: it's all good. Am I right?"

Herbal's dark eyes studied Alec. He flashed Alec a bright white smile.

"All good." Herbal stuck out his fist.

Alec bumped it gently with a fist of his own. He watched Herbal walked his bike past the cage to grab one of the hot runs.

"Damn. You look like you got smacked with a bus. Did you get blown up again? Original Cindy told you to stop that." Original Cindy leaned against the locker next to him. She snapped her gum as she considered Alec. 

"I'm fine," Alec grumbled, although not as heated as before.

"Yeah?" Cindy stuck her nose close. She narrowed her eyes at Alec's scowl.

"Just…Logan, you know?" Alec shrugged. "I don't get him sometimes."

"Men," Cindy said with feeling.

"Men," Alec echoed. He shared a smirk with Cindy.

The chattering around Alec rose and dropped in swells. Normal's voice battled for dominance, never succeeding. Sketchy laughed uproariously at something Clark said. And Original Cindy was studying Alec. She wore the same considering look when she came to check on him after the bomb. The same squirmy feeling returned.

"I'm good," Alec said out loud. "Logan, too." _Or he will be._ He shrugged at Cindy. "Or maybe only me, but that's all right. He will be. Like Herbal said: all good all the time, right?"

"You need to stop talking to Herbal," Cindy advised. "You are making less sense than usual."

"Logan's making less sense than usual," Alec grumbled. He glowered into his locker, his frustration returning. "He's a roller coaster, you know? God, sometimes I want to…" The temptation to slam his locker door was juvenile. He knew that, but a little destruction might soothe the writhing sensation in his gut. 

Cindy leaned in.

"Original Cindy has a whole tin of jasmine tea waiting to be brewed." Cindy's eyes lingered on Alec's face.

Alec stared blankly at her. When her words sank in, warmth bloomed in Alec's chest. His smile stretched across his face.

"If you're thinking nasty thoughts about Logan again…" Cindy warned.

Alec reached over. He twirled a wayward curl away from Cindy's cheek.

"You know? You really are my favorite lesbian," Alec murmured. "The bestest ever."

Cindy rolled her eyes, but she gave him a smile Alec would call fond. She lightly punched Alec in the arm before sauntering away.

Alec admired the little black biker shorts she wore. He shook his head. 

"All good, huh?" Alec murmured. Alec would try his best to make it all good. Maybe he'll pick up a pizza with extra broccoli for Heather after his mission as a late night snack aka dinner. Knowing Heather, dinner most likely has been conveniently forgotten. But that's okay because X-5s were trained to be stubborn. He could wheedle Logan into trying one of Alec's specialties: a peanut butter and anchovy sandwich. He'll have fun trying to coax Logan to take a bite.

Alec paused.

He was referring to the sandwich, of course. 

Smiling, Alec finished grabbing his gear to head back to work. 

 

 

Alec frowned at the yawning window. He mentally filed it away as yet another security concern he needed to bug Logan about. 

Muttering to himself, Alec straddled the open window. His leg dangled outside, the other warm and cozy inside, Alec pressed his lips together at the solitary figure diligently typing away. It looked as if Logan never strayed from that position. For the second time. 

Alec cleared his throat.

The rapid clicking and clattering stopped.

"Hey," Logan rasped. He smiled faintly at Alec. "That was quick."

"I know I said I'll be done by tomorrow morning, but the bank on Madison was a joke." Alec rapped the window sill. "Didn't we talk about this?"

Logan shrugged. 

"Fast or not. It's still way past your bedtime," Alec noted as he hopped completely into the living room. He checked his watch. "Or, early for the next one." 

"Let me guess," Logan muttered. He pushed away from his desk. He rubbed his temples and pulled off his glasses. "It's ass o'clock in the morning."

"Nope, it's ass o'clock at _night_." Alec planted his fists on his hips. He leered. "Want to see a full moon?"

"Open window," Logan reminded Alec with a crooked little smile.

"Party pooper," Alec shot back. 

"Find anything?" Logan didn't look surprised when Alec shook his head. "That's six down, nine more to go." He slipped his glasses back on and turned towards his computer. He squinted at the screen with red-rimmed eyes.

Alec checked his watch again, his frown deepening. 

"You didn't have to wait up for me again." Alec brightened when Logan nodded towards a covered plate on the kitchen island. Cool. Hanging upside inside bank vaults always gave him an appetite. He grinned when he uncovered it. Logan reheated the leftover pizza; he even scraped off the broccoli.

"Couldn't sleep," Logan muttered as he headed for the kitchen as well. "Still hungry?"

Alec blinked and discovered he already devoured the two slices where he stood. He glanced past Logan's bent head into the fridge. There was the pork chops Logan made the night before, picked over and promised to have for dinner today.

"Sure," Alec said casually. He reached in around Logan and pulled out the entire pan of meat and vegetables. The platter went _thud_ on the kitchen counter. "This looks good. You heat this up. I'll get the plates." He stressed the plural.

Logan frowned mildly. "It's a little late for dinner."

"Not if you didn't have any," Alec shot back cheerfully as he rummaged through the drawers for the forks and knives. Stainless steel rattled. "Stick that in your monster oven, will ya? I'm starving." 

Alec felt Logan staring at the back of his head. He suppressed the urge to turn around.

"If you're not into the chops," Alec said as he veered around Logan for the fridge again. "We could reheat the rest of the pizza." Because Logan only had a slice before claiming he wasn't hungry. "Or if you're not into that either, I could always make my specialty sandwich again." 

Alec held up the rotund container of anchovies over his shoulder towards Logan. He could sense Logan to his left, silent and considering. He held his breath.

"I'm definitely not into that," Logan said lightly.

Alec relaxed. 

"That's because you don't have gourmet in your DNA like me," Alec sniffed. "Fine, heat up the chops then. I'm wasting away here."

After a beat, Logan reached up and took the food from the counter.

Alec didn't release his breath until he heard the oven door pop open. He schooled a grin before straightening out from the fridge.

"Great. Now how about dessert?"

 

 

"How bad was it?"

Logan didn't pretend he was clueless to what Alec was talking about. He set down his fork next to the plate of half-eaten food.

"I didn't have a bad dream, just…" Logan shook his head. 

Alec poked at a clean bone left on his plate.

"I know it's taking longer than you wanted with the key. I think we can get the rest of the list done in a few nights. Faster if I call in sick." Alec swiped the tip of his finger across the remaining sauce.

"It's not about the banks either."

Alec wasn't surprised. He had hoped it was only that. He lifted his eyes towards Logan. He pushed down the frustration twisting in his gut. Instead of backing off like before, Alec pushed.

"Then what?" 

Logan kept shrugging, finding himself at a loss for words. 

"My mind gets…cluttered." Logan smiled tersely at Alec. "The usual."

Alec savagely sawed a piece of pork chop and popped the chunk in his mouth. He tasted the saltiness of the stuffing; Logan forgot the apples. He swallowed, but before he could carve out more, he stopped.

"Listen," Alec started. He set down his knife and fork, but his hands felt odd without anything to hold. He grabbed the fork and knife again but the sound of them scraping along the plate jarred them free from Alec's grasp. They clattered to the table.

Logan glanced over, his brow furrowed. He lowered his fork and knife, ignoring his dinner. Not that Logan was paying avid attention to it before.

"Look," Alec fumbled. He thought of what Herbal told him. He doubted touting the love of Jah was applicable.

"We never talked about what happened…that morning when you…" Alec's finger dabbed on the spot of sauce on the table. He spread it around. "You know…that."

Again, Logan seemed to know what Alec was referring to without him needing to finish. Alec couldn't think of anyone else who could do that.

"It's okay," Logan murmured. "I don't even recall what I drea—"

"You said it was gone," Alec said bluntly. "Over and over."

Logan flinched.

"Ring any bells now?" Alec inwardly grimaced when he heard his short tone. Under the table, Alec rubbed his fingers together. He could still feel the roughness of the gauze he used to wrap around Logan's thighs. The ribbon of sterile white had caught briefly on his fingertips.

Logan's eyes drifted down to his plate.

"No," Logan murmured. He chewed slowly. "I think this is missing something—"

"It's all right if you can't tell me," Alec blurted out.

Logan stilled.

"Because…" Alec poked the stuffing that spilled out of his pork chop, sans the apple Logan forgot. "Because…well, I'll do what…I mean…I don't need to know everything that's in your head." He locked gazes with Logan. 

"I said I'm not going to blaze out on you. And I'm not. No matter what you tell or don't tell me."

Alec reached across the dining table and grabbed Logan's hand. He wished the fingers didn't feel so cold and thin. He clutched tighter in the hopes of some of his heat would sink in. 

"I just wish I knew if what I'm doing helps," Alec confessed.

Logan turned his palm and squeezed. His eyes shone suspiciously bright.

"It is," Logan whispered.

 

 

Alec woke when the bed shifted.

The sensation of Logan slipping out of Alec's hold was a disconcerting one. His arms flexed to wrap tighter around a body that was no longer there. 

Alec's eyes flew open. "Babe?"

The bed's rocking stopped. 

"Didn't mean to wake you," Logan said, hushed. A hand gingerly touched Alec's head. "Go back to sleep."

"What time is it?" Alec yawned.

"It's ass o'clock in the morning."

Alec buried his face into the spot where Logan's head once laid.

"You think you're so funny, but you're not," Alec grumbled. He rolled his shoulders back to sit up.

Logan chuckled low. He dropped a hand on Alec's shoulder.

"No, get some sleep. You had a late night."

"So did you," Alec yawned. _Again_ was left unsaid. "Keep you company?"

Logan rubbed Alec's shoulder in small, soothing circles. Alec felt himself sinking deeper into the mattress. "That's okay. Get some rest. I'm going to keep looking for that safe deposit box and Jonas."

Alec's eyes rolled up to Logan. The other was shrouded in the dark; Logan didn't bother with the lamp.

Logan's legs were stretched out before him, close to Alec's cheek. Alec could feel the heat of Logan's legs. Alec dropped an arm across Logan's legs.

A kiss brushed along the shape of Alec's ear.

"You feel warm for once," Alec mumbled. He tightened his hold around Logan's legs. He rubbed a cheek against a lightly furred thigh. "It's nice."

Logan's lips pulled away. Brow furrowed, Alec turned his head towards the retreating mouth.

"Go back to sleep," Logan said. He sounded unsteady all of the sudden.

Alec grumbled to himself. Logan palmed his shoulder, massaging round and round. Alec curled a finger around Logan's wrist.

"Okay?" Alec slurred. Was it okay to stay in bed? Was it okay for Logan to work without Alec? Was _Logan_ okay?

The silence was long enough Alec stirred, trying to open his eyes wider.

Logan's hand slipped over Alec's eyes. They slid shut under the gentle pressure.

"I'll make pancakes."

"Awesome," Alec yawned. "You burn the best panc'kes, babe."

Another kiss. Alec's morning dry lips smack together in a drowsy kiss back that didn't go anywhere when Logan retreated. 

As Alec sank back to sleep, a stray thought crept in.

Logan never answered his question. 

 

 

There weren't any pancakes.

There wasn't any typing done either.

Alec leaned against the bedroom doorway. He stood there, his arms folded in front of him, his ankles crossed. He waited for Logan to realize Alec has been watching Logan stare at nothing in particular for the past four minutes.

The computer's bright display bleached the edges around Logan. It left a blue and white halo around Logan; it left what Alec could see of Logan looking pale.

Alec cleared his throat.

Logan's shoulders flexed. He slowly looked over a shoulder.

"Morning," Alec murmured.

Logan's eyes were hooded. He turned back towards the screen.

"Morning." Logan typed as if he'd never stop in the first place. "I thought you were going to sleep in. Your shift doesn't start until three today."

"I was going to," Alec yawned. He scratched his belly under his shirt, "but I always sleep better with a naked Heather over my dick."

Logan snorted. The keys chittered away.

"Besides," Alec went on, "Something woke me. Not sure what, though." He found himself jerking awake to something. It left a churning in his gut that hasn't gone away yet.

"Bad dream?" Logan pulled away from his keyboard.

"I don't dream," Alec reminded him. "I just relive reality."

"I'm envious of that." Logan's typing resumed with a renewed intensity. Alec frowned. "Sometimes dreams can be cruel especially after you wake up."

Alec thought of a few nights back. He thought of Logan, his sleeping face again twisted in self-loathing, his fingers carving grooves into flesh. It was like Logan was trying to dig out the feeling in his legs as if they were burrowed deep into his bones. 

That following morning, when day brought the self-inflicted wounds to light, Logan claimed he didn't remember the dream. But Alec remembered Logan shaking in his arms, hands twitching in Alec's grasp, still trying to reach to hurt. Logan kept murmuring it was gone. The crack in his voice resonated deep within Alec. When Logan had slipped back into sleep, Alec found he could barely breathe. 

If Alec held Logan a little tighter that night and the following nights, Logan made no mention.

"I don't know," Alec said as he drew closer, slowly like he would a cornered animal. Logan attacked his keyboard like it offended him. Alec wanted to pull Logan's hands away from his computer. It was an echo of when they first met: approaching Logan held all the hazards of crossing a mine field.

"I would like to dream," Alec continued as he stood behind Logan's chair. He watched Logan expertly dismantled a bank's security system with a few keystrokes. Long fingers sailed over keys sure and quick. Those same fingers glided down the length of Alec's dick with the same competence.

Alec's cock twitched. He squirmed where he stood.

"What would you dream about?" Logan murmured absentmindedly as he typed away on a black screen. Lines of code streamed up; Alec recognized only some of it.

"What do normal people dream about?" Alec asked. His eyes traced the shape of Logan's hand. He's familiar with this grip and sprinkle of calluses, but from here, they looked fine-boned and as light as a dancer on the keys. "Porn?"

It got the desired effect; Logan snorted, his posture relaxing. He must have mistyped because the computer bleeped resentfully in response.

Alec smirked. He draped his arms around Logan's shoulders from behind. He kissed Logan's ear. He rubbed his chin on the curve of Logan's neck. 

"That's it, isn't it?" Alec purred into Logan's ear. He rubbed his palms over Logan's pecs, brushing worn cotton over hardening nipples. "You people dream about porn, huh? Kinky stuff? Or just endless, endless naked times?"

Logan chuckled, strained. He leaned back into Alec.

"You people?" Logan mused. "So I'm part of the normal people, hm?"

"Well, you are obscenely hot to the point it's _not_ normal, but yeah." Alec nibbled an ear lobe. He wondered if Logan could feel his morning erection against the back of the chair.

"How can one be obscenely hot?" Logan wondered out loud. 

Alec was too busy running his hands all over Logan's torso to respond. He pressed open mouthed kisses down the slope of Logan's neck. At Logan's quiet moan, Alec suckled hard at the skin, teeth grazing as his lips applied pressure. When he finally pulled away, a purpling mark bloomed on the flushed neck.

"I wear more turtlenecks because of you," Logan grumbled, only half kidding as he cupped the spot.

"I told you: stay naked. Forget all this nonsense about clothing." Alec kneaded the taut muscles down Logan's sides. "Better yet: remain in bed."

"Now who's dreaming about porn?"

Alec hummed as he continued his exploration of Logan's upper body. There was a hint of dark chest hair peeking out of the relaxed neckline. He traced the patch with his thumb. Springy, soft yet sharp hairs teased Alec's finger.

"I would like to dream about porn." Alec palmed the pec he felt under Logan's shirt. He kneaded the muscle, his thumb stroking the peaked nub straining under the fabric. "I would dream about laying you open. I would dream about spreading you wide with my fingers deep in you, you begging me to fuck you."

Logan's breath stuttered.

"I would dream about how you're always so tight, four fingers is never enough to get you loose, but you were always a perfect fit around me. I would dream how I could feel you breathe around my cock." Alec closed his eyes; he laved the soft spot under Logan's ear. His stomach clenched at the salty tang of Logan's skin.

"I would fill you up and fuck you until you scream. Then I'll keep going still, because God, I can't stop when I'm with you. What you do to me…"

Logan reached back and cupped Alec's nape. As many times before, he always seemed to know where Alec's barcode was. His palm slipped over the tattoo; his hand was broad, hot and possessive. The mark may be from Manticore, but it said he was Logan's.

"That's what I would dream about," Alec whispered. He leaned in; his erection was crushed between his belly and the wheelchair's back. He groaned as he rolled his hips forward, grounding into his sweatpants and the nylon seat. "I would dream about it every night."

Logan exhaled shakily. "It sounds like a nice dream."

"I could make it a reality."

"You already do. Every night."

"It could be every morning, too." Alec dropped to his knees. He pulled the wheelchair around until it faced him. The footrests squeaked when Alec parted them so he could settle between Logan's spread knees.

"I won't get anything done then," Logan murmured. He brushed his hands over Alec's shoulders. 

"I'll get plenty done to you, though." Alec's hands smoothed down Logan's chest. He smirked as Logan's pelvis tried to roll up into his hands. The gentle swell between Logan's legs was becoming pronounced, a defined hard line that made Alec's mouth water.

"I have so much I want to do to you." Alec's touch travelled lower down to Logan's thighs.

Logan didn't watch Alec's hands like he normally would. His fever bright eyes stayed on Alec.

"I thought we've done it all." Logan's eyes slid shut as his hands continued to memorize the shape of Alec's shoulders.

"Not even close," Alec breathed. 

"Let me guess: you have a list."

"Eh, maybe."

Logan's mouth ticked up. "How many?"

"Still adding to it, babe."

Logan chuckled throatily. The sound sent a shiver down Alec's back.

Alec cupped Logan's left knee to fold it over his shoulder. Logan's hips did a shimmy to adjust his position. The little movement left Alec hard and aching. He wanted to yank Logan off the chair; he wanted to lower Logan over his cock and lose himself in the heat of Logan's body. He wanted to feel Logan writhe around his erection, shuddering as he came, crying out as Alec piston up into him over and over to wring another orgasm out.

Fingers trembled as they skated over Logan's leg, curling to brace, to pull. Logan fidgeted to the edge of his seat and he was so close, the musk thick around Alec's senses, sweatpants tented and damp because Logan needed as much as Alec did, maybe more—

Alec's brow knitted when he felt a heat under Logan's thin sweatpants; a heat that felt out of place. He rolled up the pants leg.

"What are you—"

Alec hissed. The rolled up pants revealed a red and blue bruise that ran down the outside of Logan's left knee, all the way down to his ankle.

"Oh," Logan said, subdued.

Alec stared at the discolored skin and its unique straight edge. He lightly ran his thumb over the top edge of the hurt. He thought he felt the imprint of an L-bracket. Unbidden, his eyes drifted over to the table and its square legs studded with strips of steel reinforcements.

Like a lifting fog, memory sharpened as things came to light. Alec recalled the faint thumping of flesh against metal rhythmically banging in a beat all too familiar. The morbid song woke Alec even if he didn't consciously remember why. 

A rush of cold ran down Alec's spine. The fire banked in his groin cooled. The ache between his legs was gone.

"I'll get the ice pack." Alec rose to his feet. He felt like stomping to the refrigerator, but his bare feet slapping on the floor would make him feel ridiculous. 

"There's no point—" Logan shut up when the seal around the fridge door violently popped. Bottles rattled inside after Alec slammed the door shut.

Wary green eyes followed Alec as he returned. 

After Alec crouched down by Logan's knee, though, the knot in his chest unraveled. He was left feeling tired. He looked up into Logan's eyes and thought Logan looked guilty.

The bruising left Logan's knee mottled and hot to the touch. Alec brushed his thumb along the shape of the kneecap. He wished he was relieved to feel the cartilage was intact. But the swollen flesh puffed up around joint made Alec feel nauseous. 

"So much for passing." Alec grimaced. He didn't mean for it to slip out.

Logan sucked in a breath.

Alec slipped a hand back over Logan's knee. He dropped his forehead on his hand. 

The icepack in Alec's other hand was starting to warm, growing damp in his grip. Alec, his head still down, placed the icepack on Logan's knee. He felt a muscle twitch; the body felt it even if Logan couldn't.

He kept his hand on the cool pad to keep it in place.

Logan was silent. He didn't look at his knee.

"What is it?" Alec remained crouched on the balls of his feetwith one hand curled around the rail; it felt like Logan was about to take off. "This? Using your knee as a baseball bat?" He studied Logan's hooded expression. Emotions flitted across Logan's face, too fast to pin down.

Alec tentatively touched the shirt where it covered the raised pink scars on Logan's shoulder and stomach. He splayed a hand over Logan's heart. Why didn't it felt like Logan was healing?

"Hey," Alec said, softer. 

Logan reached up. He brushed a knuckle down Alec's jaw. It was an unsteady touch. 

Alec captured Logan's hand. He turned and kissed the heel of Logan's cold hand. He nosed the lifeline on Logan's palm, just the middle. He didn't want to trace it down to where he'll know whether it end long or too short.

"What's going on?" Alec asked against the hand limp in his grasp. He locked gazes with Logan. Tried. Logan's eyes slid away as soon as Alec attempted to.

"Tell me," Alec said. Heat flared in Alec's chest. "Because this isn't about your uncle. Or about me moving in—And don't tell me it'll pass."

Logan dropped a hand around the back of Alec's head. He studied Alec, his expression blank.

"Thought you said I didn't have to tell you," Logan said dully.

The kernel of ire and frustration evaporated.

"Babe," Alec pleaded. 

A shadow flickered across Logan's face. He shook his head and nudged Alec's hand away to hold the icepack himself.

"You know I get—"

Something inside Alec's chest snapped. "This is not getting lost in your head. This is about hurting yourself!" Alec carded a hand through his hair. 

Logan's face shuttered. "I wasn't paying attention," he said tightly, "and I fell back into doing it. Alec, this isn't anything—"

"Logan, you were three whacks away from breaking your own kneecap!"

Alec wanted to rewind back to hours before, when Alec rocked into Logan, feeling like he was shaping the other to something more joyous. At least then, everything made sense. Then, it felt like Logan was okay, writhing and gasping and laughing as they locked bodies and hearts. 

Right now, it felt like Alec was standing there watching Logan sink under the water without a fight. Logan was drowning. It freaked Alec out was that it looked like Logan didn't seem to care. 

Logan deflated. All the anger Alec saw brimming in Logan's eyes was gone. Logan looked defeated now.

"What can I do?" Alec blurted. He wanted to pull Logan out of the chair and into his embrace.

Logan's smile softened its edge. "You're already doing it." 

Alec settled a hand over the _thump-thump_ of Logan's heart. He studied the bottom of Logan's chin. He sighed.

"Am I?" Alec challenged. "Is it really enough?"

Logan didn't answer.

 

 

Heather probably left the window open again.

Alec could see the golden beam shining vertically through Logan's windows. He should climb down there, swing through his window and pretend a few hours ago Logan wasn't trying to break his knee over his desk.

The reality is: Alec didn't know what to do. And he hated that. Ironically, Alec took comfort in the structure of a well-planned mission. And how screwed up was that? He spent so much time trying to run away from that damn stopwatch mindset. Yet here he was, falling back on the step by step strategy that had been drilled into him—figuratively and literally.

Logan was reverting. Alec could see it. He hated the twisting, sickening feeling in his stomach he gets when he's unsure what to do about it. Distract, joke, crazy sex in crazy moments; none of that worked here. Logan was sinking back into his "mopey, dopey, doom, gloom" stage as Alec called it. It was like he swung through the open window the first time and found Logan sitting in the dark with his gun.

At the edges of the memory, something twinged.

Alec fidgeted on his perch. He didn't like thinking back to that night. He didn't like thinking back to that dead voice and those dull eyes. He didn't like thinking back to the moment he turned around and walked away from Logan.

He didn't like thinking about how he almost didn't come back.

The wind wrapped around Alec's shoulders as if to give them a squeeze. It held a hint of what the heart of summer was shaping up to be: hot, heavy and stifling against the skin.

Below Alec, Mrs. Moreno has the television on too loud. Then again, Logan and his soundproofed walls would have been saved from the blare. Alec hoped Mrs. Moreno didn't fall asleep in front of the TV. Last time, she left the kettle on and her damn PCA Carl was late. Alec almost broke one of Mrs. Moreno's freaky porcelain dolls in his haste clamoring through her window to get to the kitchen.

Alec relaxed when he heard Mrs. Moreno shuffling about. The TV volume lowered fractionally. The smells of roast beef and potatoes drifted up to where Alec was. Ah. Dinner. She made the best roast beef. He was still trying to find a way to ask her to give Logan the recipe without revealing he's been food stalking her. Sitting on the rooftop and soaking in the smells of her cookies baking was still one of his favorite pastimes.

_Wonder if Logan is in the mood for dinner tonight?_

Alec's small smile faded. Deep down, he suspected he already knew the answer to that. He squirmed, a pang in his stomach. He was already halfway down with his list. Bank security was a joke, but he couldn't bring himself to go back to their pent—wait, was it _theirs_ if Alec hasn't moved in yet and why didn't Logan ask again? 

Grimacing, Alec dropped his head onto the ledge. He's been on the rooftop for the past two hours, contemplating the old scratches his rigging left on the stone and listening to Mrs. Moreno's Spanish baseball game. Logan was probably waiting for him. He was probably at his computer, typing away, his knee snapping hard into a table leg while his hands dug deep into his thi—

Alec shot up to his feet. He glanced over the edge to the glow below him.

"Night, Mrs. Moreno," Alec whispered. He wiggled his fingers towards the light streaming out the window under him. He spun on his heels and headed downstairs.

 

 

This time, Alec smelled the blood first.

Automatically, Alec tightened his hold on Logan even as he struggle to wake further.

Logan jerked with a gasp.

"Easy," Alec murmured. In the dark, he searched for Logan's hands. He pulled them away from Logan's thighs. He smelled blood, faint and coppery. They were old wounds, though; this time, Logan wore sweatpants before they went to bed.

"Sorry," Logan mumbled, but it wasn't clear if it was for waking Alec or something else.

Alec kissed the back of Logan's head. He rested his forehead against the thick, unruly hair before finding himself able to speak.

"I think your bandages came loose." Alec felt Logan still against him. Alec waited, but surprise, surprise, Logan said nothing.

"Hang on," Alec whispered even though he felt like shouting. "We need to change those."

Alec felt Logan's stare boring into him as he padded into the ensuite. Alec didn't bother with the lights. He gathered the supplies in the dark. 

Logan said nothing as he rolled onto his back and pushed his sweatpants down to his knees. He stared unblinkingly towards the ceiling while Alec taped up his quads with clean white gauze.

"Sorry," Logan repeated. In the dark, his whispered apology felt untethered. It could have been for anything and everything.

Alec curled a palm over Logan's jaw. A pang of hurt rose when Logan turned his head away until he realized his fingers were slightly damp. 

"Babe?" 

Alec reached for the lamp on the side table when Logan grabbed his hand.

"I don't even remember what it was about."

Alec let Logan guide his hand away. He swallowed but went back to cleaning the scratches. 

The dark hung over them and stifled all the sounds. 

Alec felt a fluttering in his chest when he realized he couldn't hear Logan.

"This isn't working." Alec felt Logan twitch next to him. "I mean, this 'let it pass' stuff. You, not telling me."

"I need time, Alec. I'm aware I'm not…quite there yet, but let me deal with it my way?" Logan rubbed his brow.

"Are you actually dealing," Alec said, unable to stop himself, "or are you losing yourself into your work, _Eyes Only_?"

Logan sucked in his breath sharply.

Alec traced the old wounds with a finger. He followed the raised texture of a scab. The rest Logan clawed off through his pants in his sleep.

"This isn't dealing," Alec said low in deference to the dark. He wished Logan would turn on the lights. It felt strange to talk like they were hiding in plain sight. 

Without another word, Alec cleaned up the scratches. Some had reopened, but luckily none had bled through the sweatpants. 

"I'm glad you can't feel these," Alec murmured to himself, "Otherwise what I'm doing must hurt like hell."

Logan made a soft sound. 

Alec glanced over, but Logan covered his eyes with an arm.

"Logan—"

Logan shook his head. 

"I don't remember." Logan's voice sounded stronger. "Can we just get some sleep?"

Alec's shoulders slumped. He closed his eyes briefly. 

"I'm tired, Alec." Logan's voice cracked at the end. "Leave it. Let's get some sleep."

"Sure," Alec said. He was now grateful Logan didn't want the lights on. His face felt tight, pinched as he forced himself to add brightly, "Just don't drool on me again, okay?"

Logan scoffed wetly.

Alec's smile dropped. He glanced down where his hands were, carefully cupped over the self-inflicted hurts.

"We should get some sleep," Logan croaked. It sounded like a plea.

Alec's throat worked as he finished up. As he set the first aid supplies aside, Logan hitched his pelvis to tug up his pants. They rolled back into their original positions; Alec spooned behind Logan, their hands clasped together over Logan's stomach.

Even though Logan's feet didn't feel cold, Alec sandwiched them between his. He rubbed them briskly. Then he tucked his knees up against the back of Logan's.

Alec dropped a kiss on Logan's nape. He rested his forehead against the thick strands of Logan's hair.

Logan's whisper startled Alec.

"I'm sorry." 

It still wasn't clear what the apology was for. 

 

 

He was being watched.

Alec paused, his burrito inches from his mouth. He didn't turn around. But he felt the scrutiny burning between his shoulders.

"What?" Phil froze as soon as he realized Alec wasn't eating his lunch anymore. 

"We're under surve—stop looking, you'll give us away," Alec whispered. This is what he gets for taking his lunch break. Damn Normal and his HR guidelines. He insisted everyone took their breaks rather than paying out when they skipped.

Phil peered over his sauce covered burrito.

"Head down, damn it." Alec hastily chomped on his burrito. 

Phil jerked his head towards his food again. 

"Do you think it's Jonas Cale? Or our nemesis?" Phil whispered out of the corner of his mouth. Tried. His mouth moved exaggeratedly. He looked like he was chewing a tire.

Alec arched an eyebrow. "We have a nemesis?" Alec did, with a particular government funded facility, but Phil?

"The zombie assassins."

Alec coughed around his food. He grabbed napkins to cover his gaping mouth.

"What?" Alec gasped, He glared at Phil a beat later. "The Reds? They're not zombies."

"Are you sure about that?" Phil straightened up on the crate that served as a stool for the food truck. "They can't be stopped so easily." His throat bobbed nervously. 

"No shit," Alec muttered. "I don't know. Could be them or a third party joining in." He nodded subtly to Phil. "Take off your goofy hat."

"It's not goofy," Phil protested. "This is a crucial tool in our arsenal of crime fight—"

Alec huffed as he reached over and yanked Phil's hat down to his nose. The attached lens bobbed while Phil sputtered.

"Stop moving," Alec hissed as he batted the hat and its lens. "Hold still. I'm trying to see!"

"See what?" Nevertheless, Phil froze. His eyes were wide as Alec tilted the lens here and there behind the cover of his body.

The curved lens only provided upside down images, but good enough that when Alec prodded it more to the left, he spotted the glint of a reflection.

"Down!"

Alec grabbed Phil by the shoulder. He shoved, his knee kicking up the oil barrel the food truck repurposed as a table. It rang hollow in the concrete, but not loud enough to cover the sound of a long range silencer.

The word silencer was a misnomer. A weapon wasn't completely silent. The soft and short _phut-phut_ sound a bullet made exiting the barrel and striking the ground was still loud enough that the rest of the eaters scrambled off their crates and head for cover.

The next shot was louder when it struck the drum Alec and Phil hid behind. 

"Stay down on the ground! Stay small!" Alec barked to everyone as he grabbed Phil's lens again. He angled it above the barrel, towards the direction of the gunfire.

The lens shattered when it was shot out of Alec's hand.

Alec swore. He shook his hand. The vibrations ran up his elbow. But he caught enough of a glimpse.

"Rooftop," Alec reported. "The condemned building at my three o'clock." Another sharp _ping_ bounced off the barrel. He winced. "They must have been keeping an eye out for me since the explosion at _Cale_ — _Damn it_!" 

Another shot zipped _through_ the barrel between Alec and Phil. They stared at each other wide-eyed before darting out from cover in opposite directions.

Shots nipped at Alec's heels as he ran. The shooter had the advantage of height. Alec and the others were stuck inside the killbox.

Alec heard sirens but knew they were too far away. He thought he heard five shots, but it was no guarantee. The shooter could have an extra clip, an extended magazine or—

Shots razed the ground around Alec. He skidded to a halt. He caught Phil out of the corner of his eye. He was pinned behind a few barrels; he struggled to keep a panicked woman down. Phil shot Alec a look and Alec found himself turning towards the plea.

A high pitched whine rang out. 

Alec's messenger bag strap ripped. His bag flopped to the ground.

Growling, Alec aimed for the crumbling yellow stucco-faced building instead. 

The shooter kept firing even as Alec bodily threw himself through the front entrance. The door and its _Regent offices_ sign disintegrated under his weight. He fell into what used to be a lobby; all its marble and fancy metal railings were stripped.

The building was five stories with only one stairway in the heart of the structure that coiled to the top like a snake. A quick glance to Alec's left told him the elevator was a lost cause. All there was left was the gaping emptiness of the shaft.

The only way up or down were the stairs. 

A form thumped down from the steps and blocked Alec's path. The shape solidified into a stony faced Red.

The Red eyed Alec. He grinned smugly.

Alec's face twisted. They herded him in here like damn cattle. 

Above them, the shooter was still firing into the street. Alec heard screaming. He heard Phil shouting for people to stay down. He heard fear. He heard pain. 

Alec's lips peeled back in a snarl. 

"Son of a—" Alec swung hard.

Bone crunched. Alec felt a cheekbone give under his knuckles.

His leg lashed out in a roundhouse.

The Red caught Alec's foot inches from its square jaw.

Alec thought he saw a gleam of satisfaction in usually dead eyes. 

The grip around Alec's ankle twisted. 

Alec spun into the turn and crashed to the floor. Dust rose up from the exposed hardwood.

Breathing hard, Alec blinked at the dirty floor. His ankle throbbed. A rib on his right side creaked.

A shadow crossed the floor Alec laid.

"Where is it?"

The question sounded like it was forced between broken teeth. It was garbled, but the hard line it held was unquestionable.

"Where's what?" Alec panted. He rolled up to the balls of his feet. He swayed where he crouched. His eyes stung as more dust floated around him. "Your good looks? Beats the hell out of me."

The Red's eyes slitted and if the lump of muscle looked pissed before, it was ready to chew and spit Alec out now.

"Where is it?" the Red repeated.

"You know, this conversation is fascinating, but I got to—" Alec grunted when the Red charged. It head butted into him. They crashed into the stairs.

Despite the loss of marble on the broad staircase, the impact still hurt. Wood shattered. The skeletal remains of the rail snapped and the first four steps crumbled under their bodies. 

Alec could hear running upstairs. _The shooter_ , he realized as he veered away from a double fist aimed for his back. Alec slammed his head onto the Red's chin—ouch—and vaulted over his attacker.

The Red grabbed his ankles. With a wet gurgle—good, he broke the bastard's nose after all—the Red threw Alec to the floor.

Hardwood buckled. Alec lay dazed on his back within the depression on the floor. 

A shadow filled his vision.

Alec lashed out, his boots planted on the Red's gut. Alec kicked him back before a fist could connect with Alec's throat.

 _Thought they wanted me to talk_ , Alec mentally grumbled. He ducked from another blow aimed for his knee this time. 

Panting, Alec leaped up and grabbed a pipe anchored on the ceiling for the sprinkler system. The metal groaned under his weight but held fast. He drew up his knees and kicked hard.

Alec felt his boots slam into the Red's chin. He saw the head snap back. He saw blood spray.

A meaty hand clamped over Alec's ankles.

Alec grunted as a yank ripped him off the pipe. The metal tube broke free from its fasteners. Copper colored water rained down as Alec was thrown back into the broken stairs.

Everything thumped with Alec's racing heart. He ground his teeth. He tried to get his knees to obey. They wouldn't. Everything went dark then bright then dark again. 

Alec clawed at the sagging rail. He heard the Red drawing closer. He heard feet clomping down. It sounded like there was more than one person. Shit. At least the bastards upstairs stopped shooting.

"Where is—"

A hollow metallic sound rang out, cutting off the gravelly demand.

Alec lifted his heavy head. He blinked blearily at the tableau.

Phil held a rusty fire extinguisher above his head. Blood dripped off the dented canister. 

The Red lay crumpled at Phil's feet. His head was at an unnatural angle. A crimson halo was around the dented skull and spread to Phil's boots.

Alec gaped at Phil.

"I think," Phil stammered, "this extinguisher's inspection labels were expired." 

The large red canister dropped without ceremony. The stripped floorboards cracked under the weight.

Alec rose to his feet unsteadily. He clung to the railing—or what's left of it—as he stared at the mercenary.

"Is he dead?" Phil asked in a small voice.

Alec's throat worked. He tore his gaze away from the Red. Phil gawked at the body. He blanched when he realized the tips of his boots were on the edge of the red puddle. He hopped back.

"Yeah," Alec said gruffly. He pressed his mouth thin when he heard the commotion above. For whatever reason, the bastards upstairs stopped firing into the street and now sounded like they were fighting amongst themselves.

"And we will be too if we don't get out of here."

Alec clamped a hand over Phil's neck which allowed him to turn the guy's eyes away. When he was sure he got Phil's attention, Alec gave him a careful shake.

"Come on, _Street Sweeper_ ," Alec murmured. "Let's get out of here."

Footsteps pounded down the stairs. Alec didn't wait to see how many were charging down the steps. He kept his grip on Phil's nape and steered for escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your patience. I've relocated my whining to my Tumblr page to stop wasting space here: [D8rkmessngr's Tumblr](http://d8rkmessngr.tumblr.com/)
> 
> You've all gave me more than you could ever know...


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: hints of self-harm and depression

"Go easy, will you? I have delicate skin."

A blood tipped splinter clamped in tweezers materialized in front of Alec. 

"Ouch," Alec whined half-heartedly.

"That was number five," Logan tersely reported. He dropped the wooden shard into a bowl with the others. It was the length of his pinky. His face twisted to mild distaste. He set the bowl away from them on the couch's side table.

"That many?" Alec sat on the floor between Logan's legs with his back against the couch. His hands mangled his shirt hem. Not because it hurt while Logan played doctor. It was because it was hard to ignore Logan's body around him like a solid and sexy blanket he wanted to curl under. He rested his cheek on Logan's knee. 

"You shouldn't have left them in so long." Logan's hands swept over Alec's shoulders again, examining. "You shouldn't have come here two hours later with blood down your back."

"Needed to get Phil home," Alec murmured. He poked the carpet he sat on. The thick fibers sprang up against his finger. "Matt's with him now." 

"How's he doing?"

Alec shrugged. He winced as his neck and shoulders stung. "What do you think? All he did before was take photos, bounce off bad guys and make pervy faces at you."

"Pervy faces?" Logan echoed. "Since whe—no, forget I asked." He stopped, his hands curled loosely over Alec's shoulders.

Alec stared out across to the opposite building. Above them, he vaguely heard Mrs. Moreno's television turn on.

"When I agreed to let Phil in," Logan said quietly, "I was worried this might happen."

Alec felt Logan's mood like a change in air pressure. The room felt oppressive and small all of the sudden. Drawing in a breath took effort.

"Hey," Alec said softly. He didn't turn around. He watched the windows outside reflect the late afternoon sun. A horizon of gold shone back. Logan's reflection superimposed with dusk. It looked like there was blood on Logan's face.

Alec pulled his gaze away. 

"You didn't do this to him. Not everything is on you. This martyr complex of yours is not as sexy as you think." Alec gripped Logan's bare ankle. He felt a pang when he remembered it was a wasted effort. Thank God Logan couldn't see it from this angle.

"I know." Logan gave Alec's shoulders a light squeeze.

Alec frowned to himself. "Then is this one of those things you keep insisting will pass?" At Logan's sigh, Alec rested his chin on Logan's knee. "You're usually all dark and broody, but I don't think this clusterfuck calls for it."

"I can't help feeling like he wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't—"

"For me," Alec cut in. Logan's exhausted tone always hurt to hear. He tipped his head back to stare at Logan upside down.

Logan looked pained even from the new angle. "Alec…"

Alec straightened up. He tugged his shirt smooth. The navy blue material was torn on the left. Hopefully Cindy could fix it.

Logan switched gears. "So Matt's keeping him company?"

Alec lifted his shoulders again. He ironed out the wrinkles on his sleeve with his thumb.

"Phil was getting all emo on me about it." Alec winced. "I figured a pep talk from Matt would help. Telling him better them than him would be hypocritical coming from yours truly. Considering…" 

"Funny," Logan casually said as he parted Alec's hair to check for more souvenirs. "It's what you told me." Logan's fingers were light on his scalp. "After Cape Haven," he added as if Alec would ever forget. 

Alec wearily scrubbed his face with a hand. He stayed seated against the couch, bracketed between Logan's legs, the evening sun cooling as its warmth pulled away from his face.

"I meant it," Alec said, "It was better them than you. I would kill a thousand before I let any of them have a chance even to _think_ about hurting you."

Logan continued to card his fingers through Alec's hair gently.

"Why did you think you're not qualified to talk to Phil then?" Logan asked. "You don't think he should have killed that Red?"

"No."

Logan's fingers stilled.

"I mean…" Alec ran his hand down the front of Logan's left foot. It was pinker than usual, warmer to the touch. He wrapped his fingers around the arch of the bare foot; he felt mildly guilty as soon as he did it, though. Alec pulled his hand away.

"Alec."

"He shouldn't have to kill that Red." Alec screwed up his face. "I mean the guy's all 'yipee' and 'yahoo.' It doesn't make him a killer. This…" His throat worked. He remembered how Phil couldn't look away from the body. 

"Back at the cemetery, he was trying to get away from those bastards; he didn't kill them. _I_ finished them off. But this? It's going to stay with him. And he's going to regret it. And he's going to wish he had figured something else out."

"How is that any different from me? From Cape Haven?" 

Alec drew his knees up. He dropped his chin on them.

"Because it's you," Alec mumbled.

Logan was silent, but Alec could sense his confusion.

Alec exhaled. "It was self-defense. You said it yourself. If you hadn't…" The lump in Alec's throat wouldn't let him finish. 

"Phil killed in self-defense."

"No, he didn't."

"Matt told me. You guys were ambushed during lunch. You encountered one of them. You fought. Phil stepped in before the worse could happen. It was self-defense."

"It wasn't," Alec insisted. 

"Alec, it was. Phil killed the Red because—"

"Because of me!"

Alec stared at his knees. When his eyes started to burn, he squeezed them shut.

"Damn it, Logan," Alec bit out. "You and I both know I'm not a saint. I already had blood on my hands the minute I popped out of the test tube."

"That's not true."

Alec shook his head roughly. "It doesn't matter whether it was already cooked into my DNA or Manticore put it in 494. They point; I shoot, no questions asked. And now 'I'm all for justice' Phil popped his cherry with his first kill for what? _Me_?"

Alec twisted around. He stood on his knees, his hands on either side of Logan's hips.

"Don't you see how screwed up this is?" Alec's hands bunched into fists against Logan's legs. "This wasn't self-defense. All he did was taken away a target from 494."

Alec bowed his head so he wouldn't see the understanding dawn in Logan's eyes. 

Logan's hands slipped over Alec's fists. 

"I would kill for you." 

Alec's head jerked up.

Logan's eyes were dark to the point of black. He gripped Alec's fists tighter, coaxing them to loosen until Logan could weave their fingers together.

"You were in trouble. Phil stopped it. If I was able, I would have done the same."

"But I'm—"

"Worth it," Logan cut in firmly. He leaned in and touched Alec's forehead with his. "I know Phil felt the same."

Alec drew in an unsteady breath. 

"Logan—"

"You're worth it," Logan repeated. "Not 494, not Manticore's good soldier. You. Dean. Alec." He cupped Alec's nape. 

Logan leaned back into the couch. Alec found himself following; his knees lifting him up, straightening until he straddled Logan.

"I want you safe," Logan breathed. "I want you happy. Alec, no one deserves it more."

Alec buried his face into the crook of Logan's shoulder. He sagged into Logan, his knees bookending Logan's thighs, his hands gripping Logan's hair. He shivered, but he didn't feel cold.

Logan dropped a kiss on Alec's forehead. He caressed the shape of Alec's left ear. Then he kissed that. His fingertips ghosted Alec's scalp like he was trying to memorize the shape. 

Alec settled a palm over Logan's heart. He breathed in pace with the familiar _thump-thump_. He brushed his mouth across the neckline of Logan's faded green t-shirt. The fabric grew damp under his lips as he mouthed the cloth close to the clavicle. 

Promises whispered into Alec's ear. Alec leaned in towards the words that drifted into his ear. They sounded like prayer. They sounded like a mantra he could imagine sinking under his skin. Alec pressed his nose into the line of Logan's throat. He breathed deep. 

Logan arched up; the worn texture of Logan's shirt teased Alec's nipples and taunted Alec's hands as they fumbled to strip Logan.

The first aid kit Logan brought out tumbled to the carpet as Alec surged up to stand. Logan started to pull his shirt over his head. Logan huffed out a laugh when the neckline briefly caught on his ears.

"I want you happy," Logan murmured as he tossed the shirt behind him. He lifted his hips with surprising ease. Gray cotton was shoved down his legs and pooled around his ankles with his boxers.

Alec wanted to tell Logan he _was_ happy. Alec wanted to tell Logan he wanted to make _Logan_ happy. The words were stuck in his throat, though. 

"You're trying to distract me again," Alec rasped. He touched Logan's chest with a trembling hand. "We've talked about this."

Logan slowly peeled Alec's jeans down. "Is it working?" 

"No." Alec stammered. "I'm onto you."

"Literally," Logan murmured. Logan's fingers traced the outline of Alec's cock under the worn cotton. His briefs tented; the material felt hot and stifling on his erection.

Logan slipped his palm over the damp spot on Alec's briefs. He gently squeezed.

Alec wanted to rub against Logan's hand. He wanted to lay Logan open and gaze down at him and marvel how this was his life. The couch suddenly felt too small, too confining.

"What do you want?" Logan asked hushed, uncharacteristically at ease being exposed to Alec. He sat slumped into the couch, limbs loose, a small amount of tension only visible at the corners of his eyes.

"I want to see you. All of you," Alec whispered. He greedily eyed the planes of firm muscle, the dark dusting of chest hair and the lax cock. He wanted to gather Logan, roll them to the carpet and rearrange Logan. Alec wanted to spread Logan wide and drink in the beauty of him.

Instead, Alec slipped a hand under the bend of Logan's knee. He glanced over to Logan. His chest ached when Logan's eyes flitted away and fixed on the knee in question. His eyes widened a fraction. He nodded, his jaw working, but when he looked up at Alec, his smile erased all the uncertainty on his face. It was as if the shadows that lingered for days were never there.

A feeling ballooned in Alec's chest. He pressed a kiss to the side of Logan's knee. Logan's eyes tracked Alec guiding the knee over his shoulder. Logan smoothed a hand down Alec's arm. His breath caught as Alec palmed the back of Logan's other knee and spread him wider.

Logan's mouth was soft and pliable under Alec's kiss. He made a desperate sound when Alec slipped his hand under Logan's balls and massaged the perineum with his thumb. He applied hard and brisk pressure so Logan could feel it. He felt the thin skin heat under his touch. He quickened his rubs, deeper, willing the sensation into Logan.

With a shudder, Logan bucked under Alec and came messily between their bellies.

It was a signal; Alec felt ripples of Logan's orgasm whipping through him like the very sound reached in to squeeze his insides. He gasped as he continued, faster than before. He leaned in, bent Logan in half as his hand continued to stroke the spot behind Logan's sacs.

Logan clutched Alec's shoulders. He sounded startled. He gasped, chanting Alec's name as his upper body writhed.

Alec felt Logan's other leg flushed against his flank as if to curl him closer. Alec let himself pretend, letting the weight of his body sink in to trap their cocks between them. He rutted, out of rhythm, too wired to pace himself, grinding and thrusting, his hand scrubbing hard behind velvety sacs.

The shudder that racked Logan's body called to Alec. He hastily smeared his fingers with the come splattered all over their torsos— _Jesus, Logan_ —and pressed the tips of his coated fingers against Logan's entrance.

Logan moaned something wordless and incoherent. He squirmed, no doubt trying to sense where Alec's hand was now. He choked out a plea; his chest expanded as his body surged to reach for Alec.

"Right here," Alec murmured before Logan could panic. Alec dipped his fingers into the muscular ring. His breathing quickened as dark heat teased his fingers. He spread his fingers apart, stretching only the puckered entrance.

"Alec," Logan groaned.

"I'm here." Alec's fingers slipped in deeper, to the knuckles. He scissored his fingers roughly inside. "Can you feel that?"

Logan squeezed his eyes shut. He bit his lower lip.

Alec's fingers darted in and out, catching at the opening, moving to loosen the clutch of Logan's body.

Logan moaned Alec's name again. He curled his hands around Alec's elbows. His leg bent over Alec's shoulder bounced. The heel bumped against Alec's back, a _tap-tap_ that quickened as Alec fucked Logan with his fingers.

Entering Logan was swift. Alec surged into Logan with a force that made his lower back ache. But Logan's shout and the bruising grip on his arms spurred Alec to continue. He couldn't stop. He lay into Logan, his pelvis snapping forward over and over. Logan was sandwiched between Alec and the couch. But he didn't show any discomfort as he rocked to meet Alec's thrusts.

Alec dug his heels into the carpet as he pulled Logan closer to the edge of the couch. Alec's knees pressed into the sofa as he let Logan's weight and gravity sink him lower over Alec's erection. Alec felt himself cutting deeper into Logan. He leaned in until their chins knocked. When he thrust again, the force of it shoved Logan back into the cushions.

The pattern was set. Alec yanked Logan to the edge; his thrust pushed Logan back from it. To and from, faster and deeper. Words died in his dry mouth. Yet the rest of him was drenched in the everything that was Logan: sweat, the musky smell of sex, the salty sweet taste of skin when Alec's teeth bit down on the long line of the throat.

Logan came once more, gasping and swearing as Alec continued his personal tug-of-war, pounding through the throes of orgasm. Alec kept going, hurrying as he felt his balls draw up tight. The flare builds up behind his eyes.

A long, callused finger skimmed the entrance where they're joined, lightly scratching, probing, slipping in…

Alec jolted, Logan bucked and they came together. Their combined shouts were indiscernible. When Alec collapsed over Logan, still thrusting shallowly into the trembling body, it wasn't clear who moaned. 

Logan's leg slipped off Alec's shoulder. Logan's cock twitched, somehow still coming and slicking their stomachs further.

Alec kissed Logan; again and again as he swayed into Logan. He relented when Logan, raw and sensitized, weakly batted at his chest. Alec's cock slipped free, semi-erect and aching for more.

Logan wrapped a hand around Alec. He coaxed Alec's cock back to fullness. He ran a knuckle down the purpling vein under Alec's dick. He pumped frantically, trying to match Alec's previous pace.

Come spilled out in thick ribbons over Logan's fist and stomach. It felt like Alec marked Logan, marked him for his and only his. He curled his hands over Logan's thighs and spread him wider. He half collapsed, greedily huddled over Logan's groin. Blood roared in Alec's ears, drowning out Logan's shout when Alec swallowed him whole.

Logan's cock stiffened inside Alec's mouth. Logan clutched his hair, tugging as Alec's mouth kneaded the twitching length. Logan came in Alec's mouth in a weak stream. Alec slurped and licked Logan's abdomen clean of come. He tenderly kissed the head of Logan's cock before rising back up to Logan.

Their kiss tasted bittersweet. Logan groaned into Alec's mouth, tasting his own come as Alec's tongue darted deeper. Teeth nipped. Fingers teased. Bodies ground against each other.

It felt like every ounce was wrung out of Alec. He felt lethargic, fuzzy; his skin finally felt like it fitted around his bones. It felt like he was taken apart and Logan reshaped him into someone who was "worth it." 

"That was," Alec gasped. He threw himself on the couch next to Logan. He should feel guilty about manhandling Logan to his lap. But Logan only made a face before he was tucked against Alec's shoulder.

Panting together, the two stayed tangled around each other, jammed in the corner of one end of the couch. Logan felt overheated and despite the loose limbed drape of his arms, Logan was heavy.

Alec sweated under the weight, but he couldn't bring himself to nudge Logan off. If anything, he pulled Logan closer. He probed Logan's hole with a thumb.

"Alec," Logan groaned. "Not everyone has a zero minute recovery time."

Alec nibbled on a soft lobe closest to him. 

Logan retaliated with a sharp pinch on a sore nipple. Alec yelped. He volleyed back with a graze of teeth over the jut of the clavicle. While Logan grumbled, Alec felt around Logan's entrance again.

"Alec…"

"Just checking if you're okay." Alec brushed a thumb over the opening. He paused when Logan grimaced.

Alec checked his fingers. "You're not bleeding. Are you feeling sore? Did you feel that?"

Logan tensed. 

The content feeling fled, leaving Alec too awake, too alert, his pulse pounding too hard in his veins. 

"Shit." Alec wrapped his arms around Logan's shoulders. He frantically dropped tiny kisses on top of Logan's head. "Sorry. Babe, I'm sorry. What the hell I was thinking? I should have—damn it, Logan, I'm—"

"I'm all right." Logan captured Alec's wrists before Alec could examine him again. He drew Alec's hands to his lips. He kissed each knuckle, "It was good. Really good."

Alec gingerly touched Logan. "You're hurting. I hurt you." He scowled inwardly. "I don't like hurting you."

"I'm a little sore," Logan admitted. He captured Alec's face between his hands. "But it also felt really good. It was worth it."

There was that word again. Alec glowered at his knees.

Logan forced Alec to look at him again.

"Alec, you're worth it. I know I get lost in my head and sometimes I can't be in the same mental space with you, but don't ever doubt what you are to me." Logan's mouth brushed over Alec's. "What Phil did, what I would do…if it keeps you safe, here, _right here_ …" 

Logan leveled a gaze at Alec. Alec couldn't look away.

"Okay?" Logan murmured.

Transfixed, Alec could only nod.

"Say you're worth it." Logan's voice was soft but no less commanding.

"I…" Alec swallowed. "But…"

"Say it."

The words crawled strangely out of Alec's mouth. And when he croaked, "I'm worth it," it sounded just as odd to his ears.

Logan smiled faintly. He tucked his face into Alec's throat.

Alec tipped his head back. He rolled the words in his head.

"Okay," Alec whispered. He stroked Logan's back and counted the knots of the spine. 

"Just okay?" Logan mumbled. "I thought what we did was…" He breathed deep. He blinked half mast somewhere in the vicinity of Alec's chin.

Alec nosed Logan's hair. "No, you're right. It's not just okay; I thought it was amazing. You were so—I don't think either of us ever came this hard before. I don't know about you, but I could use a nap." He snickered at Logan's raised eyebrow. "No, a nap, as in sleep, in a non-sexless way." Alec made a face. "I can't believe I said that."

"Me neither," Logan drawled. He started when Alec reached over and pinched him.

Alec glanced down at their bodies. "Ugh, I think we need a shower."

Logan reached behind him and felt the cushions. He made a face. "And a new couch."

"I think I twisted something when I was kneeling on the carpet," Alec grumbled. He smoothed a palm over a firm buttock cheek. "And hate to tell you, babe, but you got rug burn from your couch." 

Logan winced. He shifted until he rested all his weight against Alec's chest.

"Christ, despite your cute bony butt, you're heavy."

Logan scoffed. He dropped his head on Alec's shoulder.

"I have work to do," Logan mumbled, "But I'm too tired even to scratch my nose."

Alec lifted a hand before letting it drop back over Logan's exposed groin.

"Sorry, can't help you."

Logan sleepily snorted. His eyes slowly slid shut.

"No, no, no. Nap in bed, not here. I can't carry you, Heather; you broke me."

Logan breathed deep. His head lolled to a snug position against the junction of Alec's throat.

Alec grunted. "We're both tired, the couch is going to give me hives and we both smell like the bad end of an alley on a Friday night."

"Worth it," Logan mumbled, his eyes closed. 

Alec cupped the back of Logan's head. He gazed down at the sweat matted hair. He brushed back one clammy lock dangerously close to Logan's eye. 

"Yeah?" Alec whispered. He tenderly kissed each shut eye.

"If you say so, who am I to argue?"

 

 

"You said the Red spoke to you." 

Alec cracked an eye open, but he didn't move his face off the tickly mat of chest hair. Logan's question vibrated up from his broad chest and into Alec's cheek. It felt nice. 

"Yeah. If you can call it talking. That deep throaty thing only works with you, _Eyes Only_." Alec slipped his arms around Logan's middle. He tucked a knee between Logan's legs. Logan felt warm, far more comfortable than the bed they finally dragged themselves into.

"What did he say?" Logan carded his fingers through Alec's hair. Alec hummed. 

"Where is it?" Alec shrugged. The cool cotton sheets over them rustled. His toes curled as he did a full body stretch on top of Logan.

"Oof," Logan sleepily complained.

"Despite all the stabby, bony bits about you," Alec poked at the prominent curve of Logan's third rib, "you make a comfy mattress, Heather."

Logan grumbled but wiggled deeper into the bed to accommodate. Mm, Heather does a great wiggle. Alec rubbed his chin on Logan's sternum.

"Did he say anything else?"

"Hm?" Alec yawned. He shifted his head a bit to the left and— _there you are_. The steady lull of Logan's heart cooed _thump-thump_ under Alec's ear. "That's all he said."

Under Alec's cheek, Logan tensed. 

"Not comfy," Alec grumbled. He raised his head enough to glower one eyed at Logan. 

Logan gazed back at him, his brow furrowed.

"They were asking about the key."

Alec grunted. "Nothing else I can think of that you and I took." He reluctantly rolled off Logan but stayed close enough their bare hips touched.

"They were getting harder to kill, too. The guy blocked my kick. Despite that bolt screwing with their brains, they're learning. I tend to kick as a first strike to get some distance between me and my opponent." 

"They're keeping track." 

"Great. Stalker. Just what I always wanted." Alec scowled. "I better keep my distance from Matt and Phil for a while then." He ruffled Logan's hair. 

"Sorry, babe, I'm going to have to be even sneakier getting in here. Please don't shoot me—No, wait. Shoot anything that moves. I'm fast enough to dodge."

Logan wrote strange symbols on Alec's thigh. His eyes were distant.

"Uh oh."

Logan canted his head to Alec.

"You're thinking." Alec flicked at Logan's chin. "That's usually a bad sign." 

Logan didn't smile. "Did you have your _Jam Pony_ bag with you?"

Alec stopped short. He mentally reviewed the events. He flinched. 

"Crap."

"I think it's safe to say they know where you work now," Logan said, his tone apologetic. 

Alec ran a hand through his hair. "Damn it."

Logan's shoulder bumped Alec's. "I could always call Normal and ask about hiring you for long term—"

Alec shook his head. "If they know where I work, they'll be able to find out what name I'm under and if they see your work order for me, they'll make the connection." He swallowed. He sagged back against the headboard. His mind reeled. _Great going, 494._

"I'll drop Original Cindy a 411 so she doesn't freak when I'm not around the next few days to sparkle her life." 

"We don't know how long this might be," Logan warned. He brushed his fingers over Alec's bar code before stilling his palm over it. "I doubt Normal will keep your job for too long."

Alec shrugged. He couldn't think of anything to say. It wasn't like he needed the job anyway.

"It's okay." Alec briefly lifted his shoulders once more. Inside, Alec's insides churned. He promised Herbal he was going to team up to gang up on Sketchy in pool. Stink was going to tell Alec how his threesome—no, _four_ some, went tonight.

"I'm sorry, Alec." Logan gently squeezed Alec's nape. 

Alec swallowed. "It's no big deal."

"Yes, it is." Logan cupped the back of Alec's shoulders. "You built a life here." He rubbed Alec's shoulders. 

Alec snorted. "Yeah, going to work at that dump was a hell of a life, babe. I rather be pulling six story jobs and sleep in with a naked you in bed."

Logan scoffed. "You do that anyway."

"Yeah, but now I can do that all the time." Alec patted the bed between them. "This was just a preview." He pretended to sigh.

"Scaling tall buildings, beating up bad guys." Alec leered at Logan's lap. His smirk widened when Logan primly pulled the covers over his groin.

"Hey, out there fighting the good fight and then back here for a little naked fighting under the sheets. Then all over again the next day."

"All in the name of _Eyes Only_."

Alec snickered. "Actually, I was thinking all in the name of sex, but sure, whatever."

Logan snorted. "Is that all you can think about?"

"You in bed? Nah. Also think about you naked on the couch, the carpet, in the shower…"

Logan tugged Alec's ear. "I can't be naked all the time."

"Why not?" Alec sputtered, only half kidding. "Having you morning, noon and night require a little less clothing on your part. All I ask is for you to close your eyes, lie back and think of my dick."

"I do have work to do," Logan reminded, his eyes twinkling despite the disapproving frown.

Alec dismissed it with a wave. "I'll do it. In exchange, do nothing. Stay here naked and wait for the good times to come." He waggled his brow. " _Come_. Get it?"

Logan rolled his eyes. He lightly shoved Alec who shoved back.

"And no cheating on me by molesting your computer, _Eyes Only_ ," Alec went on. "And none of that badass shit. You do not look cute all blown up in pieces."

Logan scoffed. "And how are you going to make sure I don't do anything of this 'badass shit'?" 

"Hey, you're now stuck with me twenty four seven! I'll be watching you." Alec wiggled his fingers in the air towards Logan. "Hi, roomie." Alec froze.

Logan stared owlishly against him. He cleared his throat and looked away.

"I could think of worse fates," Logan stammered.

Alec wished he could pull the covers over his head without the risk of looking like an idiot. He peered up through his lashes at Logan's pink tipped ears. 

"Uh, think of it as a practice run," Alec said lamely.

"We need to practice all day sex?" Logan sounded unsteady.

Alec slipped his arm around Logan. Logan twitched, but he didn't move away.

"The other thing." Alec took a deep breath. "Before I move in for real."

Logan stilled next to Alec.

Alec bit his lower lip. Moving in meant Seattle would be bookmarked in Alec's life. Maybe even as a forever thing if those existed for people like him. It meant no more snatching up his backpack to seek Manticore-less pastures. It meant waking up every morning to a spot of drool on the pillow. It meant no more bolt holes; maybe even unpacking his backpack and looking for spots to put his shit in. It meant he would actually have sh—er, stuff.

Not a bad thing, though. Actually, Alec wondered why he even balked in the first place. 

So why wasn't Logan saying anything?

Alec pulled away. He glanced over at Logan.

"H-hey." Alec's laugh came up garbled. He gulped and tried again.

"Here is where you're supposed to say 'That's awesome, Alec. Please move in and keep me naked all day'."

"You're sure?" Logan said, his voice cracking. "You shouldn't feel like you have to just because I placed your name on the…" He took a deep breath. "I do want you here. If you want."

Alec leaned into Logan. He smiled when he felt Logan copied him. Whatever quivering that filled his stomach vanished at the sight of Logan's uncertain eyes.

"I want." Alec leaned in and kissed Logan softly. He framed Logan's face with his hands. "Even if you never put my name on that sheet of paper. I want."

Logan turned to kiss Alec's palm.

Alec felt Logan's hesitation.

"You're thinking again," Alec murmured. "You are your own worse cockblocker."

Logan exhaled. "You're not doing this to keep an eye on me, are you? Because of…" His hand waved towards himself.

"Actually, I need both eyes, you big boy." Alec openly gazed appreciatively at Logan's covered lap. At Logan's furrowed brow, Alec sobered.

"Is it horrible to have me around all the time making you sandwiches and making you come?"

Logan huffed out a laugh. It sounded both startled and relieved. "When you put it that way…"

Alec picked at the covers over Logan's legs. "I mean, when you asked me, it wasn't like you were looking for someone to bag you twenty four seven. Um, it was for other reasons, right?"

"Selfish ones." Logan stroked Alec's face. "For a thousand selfish reasons."

Alec grinned goofily at Logan.

"I, uh…I made you a key," Logan confessed. "It was meant to be symbolic but ah…" He chuckled. "You never used a key to get in here anyway."

"Nope." Alec mock-glowered at Logan. "Your security here is bullshit." He swung a leg over to straddle Logan's. 

"I mean, anyone could break in here." Alec set his arms down on either side of Logan's head. 

"Good thing I got here first," Alec whispered, "I get to sneak into this bedroom and see you and…" He lowered his head. His breath ghosted down Logan's face. "Good thing I'm going to be here to stake my claim before anyone else gets the same idea."

Logan slipped his hands around Alec's shoulders.

"Anyone else?" Logan asked. His eyes were glued to Alec's mouth. The tip of his tongue darted out to swipe across his lower lip. "Pretty sure there isn't any."

Logan's hands slid down and splayed across Alec's lower back. His callused fingers, blunt yet elegant, pressed into muscle as if testing his back's stability.

Alec arched his back. He ground his returning erection into the crease of Logan's thigh. He kept his gaze at Logan, daring the other to look away. 

"Better not be," Alec growled. "I don't like sharing." He rutted harder. The bed under them creaked.

Logan stared at Alec, his eyes wide, his mouth twisted. "You're sure about this? About me? Alec, what you see is what you'll ge—"

Alec surged forward. He crushed his mouth against Logan's. Logan froze before relaxing under Alec's demanding mouth. 

After a few moments, they finally parted with barely stifled moans.

"What you were saying before about worth it?" Alec cupped Logan's jaw. "Ditto. All right?"

Logan's stomach expanded then sank; his breath escaping in a long drawn out _whoosh_. 

"All right."

 

 

_"Interesting."_

Sebastian canted his head as he considered the police report on the screen. The implant from the dead Red filled the other monitors.

Alec felt a twinge in his gut every time he looked at the informant. The body shrunken with atrophy weakly rocked into sensors so it could have a voice. It made Alec's insides squirm. He almost wished he hadn't convinced (argued) Logan to staying put. Without Logan next to him, visibly whole and okay, Sebastian posed too much a vision of what could have happened.

_"The implant appears to have changed. The microprocessors within the implant's head look similar to the ones Cale Industries developed for their hoverdrone technology."_

Alec scowled. "They're getting upgrades from _Cale_? So they're no longer working for Cale, but _with_ them?"

Sebastian couldn't nod, but he blinked. 

_"Most likely they stole the technology when it became clear Cale Industries was going to be under federal scrutiny."_

"Great," Alec muttered. He squinted at the images on Sebastian's screen, tilted so the paraplegic could see without straining. 

_"Did Logan mention there was any sign of dissent among the ranks?"_

Alec made a face. That was a funny way of putting it. He wondered if it was a jab at his not so honorable military background, but Sebastian's face gave nothing away. 

"No," Alec reported, "But we talked about the possibility. You got two or possibly more parties involved; each with their own agendas. There's gonna be friction. It's only a matter of time before they go their separate missions." Lydecker lectured over and over how Alec and his platoon needed to be of one mind, one goal or else. "I'll ask Logan when I get back and see if he can find out more."

Sebastian's eyes were bright and talkative when his body could not. Alec swore the twinkle in the informant's eye was his version of a smirk.

_"I thought Logan would be here as well."_

Alec squirmed in his seat. "Well, you know how busy our vigilante is."

_"I see."_

Alec glowered at Sebastian as the wheelchair smoothly rolled around him to get back to the microscope. His assistant, a broad shoulder and gentle-eyed brunette who reminded Alec of Phil only less goofy, prodded the instrument and implant under the camera so they could all see the procedure.

The pieces of green silicon and gold wiring scraped off the screw-shaped implant looked deceptively innocuous. It didn't reveal its macabre origins: pried out of the dead Red by a coroner loyal to _Eyes Only_. Even though it had been thoroughly cleaned, Alec thought he could still see the flecks of blood clinging to the edges. 

Alec pursed his lips. "Can you tell if they're still hinky about electricity?"

_"They appear to have shielded the implant better. A larger voltage would be needed."_

Alec pinched the bridge of his nose. Great. A good toss into a lamppost wasn't going to cut it anymore.

"You said the microprocessors were similar. How?"

_"The chip appears to be capable to receive a signal similar to the altered hoverdrones. The drones relied on these same signals to understand their next move."_

The whine of a hoverdrone tingled in Alec's ear. He absently tugged the lobe. 

"The non-homicidal ones were self run on a limited AI." Alec could still taste stank sewer air as he stayed in the damp tunnels waiting for an opening. "No way would they have installed this tech in those pucks. It would have been redundant. Most likely, they stuck them in their drones-for-hire and now the Reds have them." 

_"It's more stable if their main resources are not used for intuitive processes. The constant update directed elsewhere allowed the drones to focus only on their target."_

Alec darkened at the word 'target.' He curled his hands.

"Why would the Reds need that?" Alec wondered out loud. Lydecker's stopwatch echoed loudly. His ears ached.

Alec scowled as he drew his conclusion. "To control. Whoever's their handler is, he needed a meaner leash."

 _"It could be used as a kill switch. A command can easily be sent out on this."_ Sebastian agreed. His readout panel beeped. _"To shut down the Reds remotely if they disobey."_

"Geez." Alec wiped a hand over his mouth. "How is this better than the electric chair?"

_"If they are continuing their search for a biosynth, the Reds may be under the impression there is a fix for the neurological damage. The kill switch is mostly to keep them from going rogue as the cure remained elusive."_

Alec fidgeted. "You think they're still searching for a cure? I mean, Max isn't here for them to slice and dice."

Sebastian stared at Alec. 

Oh.

Alec laughed awkwardly. "Yeah," he drew out, "I may have been too awesome for my own good."

_"Yes."_

Even with a voice synthesizer, the dry response was clear.

"So is there a way to hack this?" Alec squinted at the main screen and the blue tinged x-rays of the microprocessors. He realized he blocked the informant when he leaned in.

"Sorry," Alec mumbled. He hung back to read the screen over the headrest instead.

Sebastian couldn't move his head, but Alec thought he could feel the curiosity follow him despite the wheelchair's restrictions.

_"I bother you."_

It wasn't clear if the flatness of Sebastian's statement was from the speakers or the person himself. Alec grimaced all the same.

"No, you just…" Alec gestured helplessly at Sebastian. 

_"This could have been Logan."_

Alec flinched.

 _"Last year, Logan received a blood transfusion from a biosynth among the X5 series. Later, he discovered stem cells repaired parts of his spinal cord. However, it did not last and he did not have access to more blood."_ Sebastian blinked. The speakers that bookended his wheelchair was silent.

Alec's mouth twisted. "He got another transfusion after he was shot over a month ago."

Sebastian stared silently.

Alec shook his head. "Nothing."

Sebastian blinked again.

"What?"

The wheelchair abruptly turned around towards the large flat monitor anchored to the wall.

_"There may be a way to mimic the signal and shut them down ourselves."_

Alec studied the back of Sebastian's wheelchair. He cleared his throat.

"Listen," Alec said hesitantly. "The transfusion didn't work for Logan, but…" He fidgeted. "Maybe…I mean…for you…"

 _"It was offered to me once."_ The wheelchair didn't turn around. _"It helped with some issues I had, but…"_

The air regulator that snaked around from the back of Sebastian's chair huffed.

"Oh." Alec didn't need to ask who. "When?"

_"When Logan was walking again."_

Alec's head shot up. "What?"

The speakers were silent. Sebastian's monitor flashed as various schematics zipped by under his guidance. For a long moment, there was only the quiet bips and beeps filling the silence.

Finally, Alec couldn't stand it anymore.

"Does he know?" Alec blurted out.

The computer sounds silenced. The wheelchair's attached oxygen tank puffed rhythmically.

 _"I was asked not to tell. Max was here on a mission tracking down another X5 at the time."_ Sebastian's wheelchair moved as if to turn around, but it halted after a few degrees. Alec only saw the bony profile of his knees. _"It seemed cruel to say anything after Bling disappeared."_

Alec bit his lower lip. "Then why are you telling me?"

 _"Because I believe_ you _won't disappear."_

The emphasis was clear despite the mechanical quality of the synthesizer. Alec nodded even though Sebastian couldn't see it.

"Figure a way to stop these guys," Alec asked. He didn't add 'please', but he knew Sebastian heard it.

The wheelchair fully turned. Sebastian studied Alec. His face was impassive due to his paralysis yet his eyes spoke volumes.

"Dude, seriously. What?"

Sebastian started to cant his head towards the synthesizer. He stilled, leaving his head in an uncomfortable looking tilt. After a beat, Sebastian completed the gesture. 

The speakers beeped back to life.

_"Logan is okay."_

Alec's brow furrowed. 

"Of course he is," Alec said. He grimaced to himself. It sounded unsure to his ears. He hastily cleared his throat. 

_"Logan is okay,"_ Sebastian repeated.

Why did it sound like Sebastian was trying to reassure Alec?

 

 

_"Good work, 494."_

_He didn't nod. His COs didn't care for acknowledgement. He rubbed the spot of blood that had splattered onto his chin. Close range head shots were always messy._

_"Meet us at the extraction zone in twelve minutes."_

_Again, he didn't nod. He simply tucked his weapon back into his side holster. It was finally fitting him; it was too large against his narrow hips when he received his first assigned handgun. When the holster dangled, unable to stay tucked against his side, Lydecker had been displeased._

_Now, the leather strap stayed tucked against him and moved in a way 494 didn't question. It wasn't reassuring. It wasn't intimidating. It was a tool; an extension of himself and a bridge to fulfilling his duties._

_The smell of gunfire was acrid yet familiar in his nostrils. He wrinkled his nose because it was a lesser offense than rubbing a finger under his nose. A gesture like that would indicate displeasure, possible conflict of interest. They were to follow orders. How pleasant or unpleasant their environment may be, 494 took each mission with the barest of nods._

_Slinking down the ambassador's hallway was revealing. He noted six of the paintings were reported stolen from various embassies. He was nonplussed as he walked past them. They weren't his concern. No one assigned him the task._

_Ornate golden framed mirrors filled the spaces in-between the contraband paintings. But he didn't look. There was no reason to. He was X-494. The need to be someone else fled the moment the bullet left his gun and lodged itself in the wall behind his target._

_There were shouts past his shoulder. The body was discovered. It was fourteen minutes too soon._

_X-494 quickened his pace. Stealth was no longer necessary. Evade and escape were prudent._

_Heavy heeled boots stomped on the marble floors. A thick accent rose, commanding first in Czechoslovakian then in broken English when he didn't stop._

_His earwig was silent. There would be no instructions from it. He vaulted over a startled guard, slipped under the legs of another and ran. The group chasing him grew in numbers. And he knew he heard the cool click of metal sliding across the muzzle, the creaking of a hammer diving for the man guarding (harassing?)and the winded gasps of his pursuers._

_A shadow materialized. He skidded to a halt. The footsteps behind him only quickened._

_Before 494 could react, the shadow raised its arm and fired._

_The footsteps behind him stopped._

_"Let's go, 494."_

_He stared at the dark spots on the floor. There were no bodies. It was as if they melted through the floor. He looked up again and saw cool green eyes. Then brown ones. They changed on a face he couldn't focus on. But his stomach knotted as if he recognized them all the same._

_"You shouldn't have done that," 494 croaked. He was startled to hear his voice deeper now._

_Logan's face cleared of the shadows. He smiled faintly even as the shape of him crumbled away. He didn't seem to notice. Even as his face fractured and disappeared, his smile remained._

_"You're worth it."_

_And Logan vanished in a wisp of ash._

 

 

The jolt out of the not-dream (but sure as hell felt like one) was jarring. 

Alec blinked blearily into his pillow, having rolled onto his stomach in his sleep. 

It felt like he pulled several Gs in Manticore's gyroscope before it halted. They did it to train their soldiers to get used to the sickening lurch of sudden stops so their reaction times wouldn't be too compromised.

Those who threw up never came back.

The same nausea roiled in Alec's gut. Thankfully, he knew Logan wasn't going to drag 494 down that ominous third corridor where other failures go through, never to return. 

Nevertheless, the idea of throwing up, especially on Logan's nice sheets wasn't appealing. And when he automatically threw an arm over to where Logan _should_ be, the cool spot was even less appealing. 

Alec sighed. He rolled onto his back. He cast out his senses and sure enough, he heard the teeny typing rattling beyond the bedroom. Again.

There was no need to turn on the lamp. Alec's internal clock told him it was still early. The sun was probably not up yet. Knowing Logan, he probably didn't turn on the lights either, relying on squinting owlishly at the monitor's glare.

"What's going on with you, babe?" Alec murmured. This was not about his uncle or moving in; it wasn't passing either. Logan was hardly _in the mood_ to eat these days. Alec also caught him banging his knees on his desk again last night. 

Alec's mouth pressed thin. He absently grabbed Logan's pillow and squeezed it against his chest. The familiar cocktail of coffee and ink was faint. Even that was drowning in whatever was bothering Logan.

Outside, the typing picked up; Logan must have found something. His typing always telegraphed what he felt even if Logan never voiced it out loud. Alec listened like he would a piece of classical music (he once went undercover as a conductor's assistant). Rapid fire typing, keys chattering, a growing high pitched whine…

Alec frowned. The reed thin sound was too high for normal hearing to pick up. It reminded him of a dog whistle, its frequency a touch lower to indicate the wavelength was man-made, input instead of output, barely audible but rising—

"Logan! Get away from there!" Alec vaulted off the bed. He wrenched open the door. "Get away from your computer! It's rigged—"

The explosion, while small, was loud enough to drown out Alec's warnings. It was powerful enough, fueled by Logan's own equipment, to knock Alec to his knees and send Logan and his wheelchair sliding towards the kitchen island.

Alec collided with Logan, his arms and legs wrapped around the other as soon as he reached Logan. Still, he skidded across the floor with Logan, caught in the explosion's force. His right hip slammed into the kitchen island and it hurt like a _bitch_ , but it was a million times better than Logan's spine snapping into the corner of the island. 

Above them, the sprinklers sprang to life. Smoke mellowed to something wet smelling but just as foul.

Alec felt Logan moving feebly in his arms.

"Don't move," Alec ordered breathlessly. He hugged Logan closer to him. "You okay? Anything hurt?"

"The alarm," Logan gasped. He sounded hoarse as if he had been the one screaming, not Alec. "Can't let security call the fire department. They'll know where I am if a report of an explosion gets out."

Alec staggered to his feet. He tossed the cordless phone to Logan while he went for the fire extinguisher in the kitchen.

"Don't sit up," Alec told him. "Not until I check you."

"I'm fin—"

"Don't. Sit. Up."

Logan stayed slumped, supported by the kitchen island he almost broke his back on. He shakily punched the number for security.

Alec sprayed the smoldering computer with the fire extinguisher. He aimed the suppressant over the wall behind the computer. He breathed hard; he wasn't sure if it was because of the lingering smoke, the blow when he slammed into the island or for the fact this fucking happened while he was _sleeping_ —damn it, he was lying in bed when some backlash signal piggybacked Logan's connection and snapped out a command to overload the computer Logan sat in front of.

Behind Alec, Logan was reassuring security that everything was okay, just food left burning on the stove and yes, it's hard to reach up in a wheelchair and ha fucking haha, that's the last time he's going to try cooking without help. How Logan can sound calm despite lying half-fetal on his side didn't bear dwelling on.

The explosion was localized, but no less deadly. Alec could see where the fire originated from. The scorched marks on the wall behind the tower of hard drives next to Logan's monitor betrayed its guilt. The keyboard Logan normally used was shattered on the floor. There were shards of metal lying on the floor like spent ammo. 

Alec stared at the skid marks that started a foot away from the desk. The force had pushed Logan and his chair away from the workstation. If Logan had been closer, he would have gotten a face full of shrapnel before snapping his back on the kitchen island. 

God, a second sooner, an inch closer…

The now empty red canister dropped to Alec's feet with a _clang_. He abruptly turned on his heels. His bare feet stung as he stepped over the destroyed remains of Logan's computer, but he ignored—or didn't hear—Logan's warnings about it. He dropped to his knees, carefully pulled Logan to him and buried his face into Logan's hair. It smelled like smoke.

 _Jesus_.

"I'm all right," Logan said into Alec's shoulder. His hands, however, fisted the back of Alec's shirt. "I was finally able to break into _Cale's_ personal servers and noticed I was being traced. I was diverting my networks into a safe zone when I noticed the code infecting my main server was programming it to—"

Logan tensed. 

"The informant network! Is it safe? Was I able to move it all in time?"

Alec didn't _care_. He breathed in Logan even though Logan smelled like singed hair and burnt cotton. But _Logan_ cared, so he reluctantly pulled back.

"I'll go check." Alec gripped Logan's shoulder. The solid feel of it and Logan breathing steadily against him calmed the jittering inside Alec. "Don't move."

"Darn," Logan panted. "I was thinking of doing a spin around Seattle."

Alec snorted. It sounded hysterical in his ears. To Logan as well; he curled a hand around Alec's wrist. Logan didn't say anything, his eyes was dark with understanding and relief.

Swallowing, Alec rose to his feet. He staggered to the adjacent workstation where three other servers stood. They were streaked with soot, but somehow they survived. The drives blinked serenely back at Alec.

"Your alternates are working," Alec reported. He grimaced at the destroyed monitor next to him. "No way for me to confirm if you got everything transferred, though. How close were you?"

"Ninety eight percent," Logan said. He sat up with a wince despite Alec's protests. He shook his hands. "Whatever feedback code they sent overloaded my main system as I was finishing up."

Alec set his jaw. "I was talking about how close _you_ were."

Logan at least looked chastened. He smiled wanly. "Let's just say I'm grateful to have my eyebrows still."

Alec looked at Logan sharply. "How long did you wait before pushing away?"

Logan didn't try to deny it. He grimaced as he examined his hands.

"A second. Maybe three," Logan murmured, almost to himself. He started when Alec tugged his hands away to check them himself. "They're fine—"

Alec hissed at the reddened pads. There were no blisters or cuts. They only looked sunburned. He brushed a palm down Logan's face. Tiny cuts peppered the right side of Logan's face; he must have turned his head away.

"Good move," Alec murmured. He swiped his thumb over the deepest cut across the bridge of Logan's nose. His eyeglasses were knocked off. He finger combed through Logan's hair; neither commented when the clear sound of glass tinkled free. "If you hadn't turned away, you would have caught the blast full on. As it is, you're less scruffy on one side, Heather."

Logan made a face as he tried to touch his own face. "Doesn't feel too bad."

"You were damn lucky you had enough time to get away. Otherwise…" Alec couldn't finish. 

"The informant network—"

"I know. Babe, I get it, but saving that means squat if you're…" 

Again, Alec found himself unable to complete what he wanted to say. 

Logan fell silent. He let Alec poke and turn his hands until Alec was satisfied that only a cold pack was needed.

Alec grimaced at the mangled wheelchair on the floor. It had flown into the dining table. The furniture and chair both lost the battle. The chair now lay on its side. One bent wheel spun idly. The rest of its metallic corpse was buried under collapsed piles of folders. The table stood crookedly on its three remaining legs.

"I think we need to go to the hospital."

Logan frowned. "Alec, I told you, I'm fine."

"To get you a new chair."

Logan's brow knitted together. "Why? Where's my chair?"

Alec wordlessly pointed to the dining area. Logan's eyes followed.

"Damn it." Logan stared at his dining table in dismay. "I finally finished alphabetizing those."

It wasn't funny. It wasn't. Logan smelled like something scorched and brittle. His glasses were missing. There was a tiny cut on his throat.

Alec laughed. He didn't know why, but suddenly it was the funniest thing Logan could ever say. His shoulders shook; he gulped for air. When Logan pulled Alec to him, Alec didn't resist. He collapsed into Logan, his hands scrambling to grab Logan's sweatshirt.

"I'm all right," Logan murmured.

"Shit," Alec gasped between giggles. What the hell was wrong with him? "God damn, Jesus Christ, I..."

"I'm all right…"

"If you didn't—"

"I did."

Alec breathed out harshly. His nose shoved against Logan's Adam's apple was running. He knew he was holding Logan a little too tight; he was most likely crushing Logan to the kitchen island with his body. But he couldn't let go. 

Breathing felt easier when Alec felt Logan inhaling and exhaling against him. Logan seemed to need the same. His arms cinched tighter around Alec.

Their breaths synced, their hearts hammered against each other; Alec and Logan held on. At that moment, nothing else mattered.

 

 

Alec helped Logan into a dining chair. Glass crunched under the chair as he dragged it to the couch so Logan could transfer over.

Hours later, thick cables ran from the surviving servers to Logan's tiny laptop. Logan squinted myopically into it, frowning as he tried to discern the rapidly scrolling lines of code without his glasses. Alec dismantled what Logan determined were lost causes, including a digital camera and some of the white noise generators. At least the workstation was still attached to the wall.

Alec scowled at the soot that smudged his sweatpants. He glanced back at the wall, wishing he could punch the scorched surface. 

"Didn't burn through the drywall, although I think the wiring is toast." Alec brushed his palms down his pants. Thank God they didn't sleep in the nude last night. Alec wouldn't relish playing naked fireman. 

"I need to tear down this section," Alec said apologetically. "I smell ozone behind this. You have a junction box about to go." He heard a grunt and hoped it meant Logan was somewhat paying attention. He didn't want Heather to look up and surprised to find a hole in the wall. 

Alec retrieved his k-bar from his backpack tucked into the bottom drawer in Logan's bedroom. He wasn't sure why Logan freed up space or half the closet. His pack didn't need that much room. 

The tip of the blade pierced through the drywall and soundproof insulation with enough pressure. Alec carefully sawed out an outline where he thought the smell was coming from.

"Everything's in here," Logan called out; the relief was clear in his voice. He sat across the length of the couch. He was still in his soot streaked clothing. He refused to change until he examined the _Eyes Only_ network first. He acquiesced to the fleece blanket. Sort of. It was crumbled under his ankles.

"I know a guy who can get you a sanitized system in a few hours if you don't mind paying extra. I'll give him a call." Alec pulled the wrecked computer off the desk so he could have more room. The equipment was hot to the touch; the tower melted to a lumpy mess and welded with the monitor. Alec dropped the entire mess to the floor with a face. "I can't find your glasses, though."

"I still have my spares," Logan muttered distractedly, his eyes on the screen.

"Great," Alec groused. "Those things? Didn't I stomp those ugly things into itty bitty pieces already?"

Logan scoffed. Then, something flickered across his face.

"Find something?"

Logan's brow knitted. "Nothing was transmitted."

Alec arched an eyebrow. "You sure?"

Baffled, Logan nodded. "I'm looking at the code right now. There was nothing to instruct my system to send out any data."

Alec's stomach lurched. "Nothing?" 

"What's the point of backtracking my signal, break through the firewalls and not retrieve…" 

Alec could tell a light bulb went up. Logan sagged back into the couch.

"The goal wasn't to retrieve," Alec said. His throat tightened around the words. "All that programming was designed to do was to seek the hacker and—"

"Destroy," Logan finished grimly. He grimaced as he squirmed in his seat. "And when a report of a fire goes out, they would have gotten my location. Even if I somehow survived the first attack, they would have my location to come back and finish the job."

"No loose ends," Alec said evenly. It was what 494 would do. 

The office area was an odd contrast of destruction and normalcy. Logan's area looked like it was gouged out with a blackened claw while the rest of the area was smudge with soot but whirring as if nothing happened.

Alec went back to carving the hole. His lines were no longer straight, though. They now ran like jagged teeth, not even connecting with each other.

At Logan's soft inhale, Alec stopped what he was doing. He looked over to Logan.

"You okay?"

Logan nodded abortively. His face screwed up as he pressed the heel of a hand to his thigh.

Alec frowned. "That doesn't look okay. It looks sectors away from okay."

"A twinge." Logan's shoulders rolled back. His eyes stayed fixed on the laptop. "I'll be all right." 

After a bit of typing, though, the chitter of the keys faltered.

Alec lowered his blade. He studied Logan's head bowed over his laptop.

"I feel fine." Logan was short of snapping. He flushed immediately after. He mumbled an apology, but never looked away from his screen.

"You hit the floor pretty hard," Alec recalled. "I mean, it's good you were able to push away far enough, but you probably bruised up that cute butt of yours."

"From what I remember," Logan said lightly, "You were the one who bruised up a cute ass when you got between me and that island." The typing paused; the silence was startling after all that noise before.

"Thank you for that," Logan said, subdued. He turned towards Alec to say something more when he winced. 

Alec winced. "See? Cute butt bruising."

"It doesn't feel too cute right now," Logan gritted out, his fists pressed into his quads. The laptop tumbled off his thighs and into the cushions. 

Logan hissed when one of his legs jerked. A leg tried to snap straight; the whole limb started to shake.

"Your lower back never used to affect your legs this badly." Alec ignored the rest of the debris and went over to the couch. He gingerly sat on the edge. Shit, he could feel the heat of Logan's cramping leg next to him.

Logan uttered a pained noise that also sounded like a curse.

"Easy," Alec soothed. He slipped a palm over Logan's lower back. It didn't feel too bad. It was a little warm, but the muscles shifted and flexed under Alec's touch. 

"See if lying flat helps," Alec murmured. 

"I need to check on the network." Logan breathed out through his teeth.

Alec shook his head. "You just said nothing was sent out. It can wait." His hands hovered over Logan's knees before drifting back. "Seriously. Your legs are spasming. Your back never got this bad, babe." 

"I'll be fine," Logan rasped as Alec eased him to lie flat. His head sank back against the armrest. He tightly smiled as he watched Alec tuck a pillow under his knees. "Maybe no badass moves for a while."

"I wouldn't call your ass bad," Alec said absently as he cupped a hand under one of Logan's heels. He winced as the foot shook. 

"I'm kind of glad you're not feeling this because I gotta tell you, my legs hurt just from looking at you." Alec knew it was pointless, but he pressed down the heel of his hand along the length of a trembling calf.

Logan cried out.

Alec froze at the sound. "Shit, did I—"

"Wasn't you," Logan gasped out. His head lolled to the cushioned back of the couch. Logan squeezed his eyes shut.

Alec bit his lower lip. "I still have some of those pills from before. Do you…"

Logan nodded jerkily. He didn't open his eyes.

Alec nearly tripped over his own feet as he scrambled back to the bedroom. He brought the whole vial to the kitchen. His hands were shaking. He gripped the edge of the kitchen counter for a few minutes before he trusted himself to carry a glass of water and crackers back to Logan. 

The glass and food shattered on the floor when Alec spotted Logan on the carpet.

"Shit!"

Logan slumped sideways against the couch. He was bent over almost in half, his hands clawing his trembling legs bent awkwardly underneath him.

Alec raced back for another glass. His knees ached as he dropped besides Logan. He swallowed as Logan switched from slumping against the couch to collapsing onto Alec.

"I'm okay," Logan panted.

"You and I have very different definitions of 'Okay.'"

"This…from a guy who walked around with splint-ters on his neck for—Shit." Logan's hiss interrupted his retort.

"Deep breaths," Alec instructed. "Stop talking. Let me have the last word for a change."

Logan grimaced; he stopped insisting he was 'Okay.' Alec wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, though. 

There was no talking, no coaxing on Alec's part as the pills tumbled out of his hand and into Logan's mouth. And if his hand shook, spilling water onto Logan's shirt instead of his mouth, no one complained.

Logan vomited the pills back out onto Alec's lap.

"Damn it," Logan groaned. He hasn't opened his eyes since leaning into Alec. He sounded raw. His face was flushed and sweaty.

It was back in the ambulance again, watching Doc stooped over Logan. Alec couldn't think. He couldn't register what was happening or why or how to stop it. All he could think was Logan was hurt, _hurthurthurt_ and suddenly, Alec hurt too. There was an agony that sat hard in Alec's gut and radiated heavy and sore in his chest.

Alec buried his face into Logan's throat. He felt Logan weakly twisting a hand around his shirt. Alec wrapped his arms tighter around Logan. He knew he should do something more. He knew eventually, Logan's back spasms would pass. But he couldn't say it. His mind was blank. His body felt numb. The words wouldn't form in his mouth. He held on while Logan shook.

"I'm," Logan panted, "going to be f-fine. I—damn it." He hissed as another spasm rocked up to his legs. "I'll be okay, Alec, I-It…this will pass s-soon…" He groaned.

Alec nodded frantically against Logan's throat. He felt panic roll over him. His ears felt stuffed, ringing with his own hammering heartbeat. He clutched Logan to him in hopes he could absorb the tremors racking Logan's body.

"I'm here," Alec whispered into Logan's sweat damp hair. "Hold on."

Logan's left leg twitched. The knee jabbed Alec at the hip. Alec grunted, still sore from colliding into the island.

"S-sorry—"

"Don't worry about it."

Logan burrowed deeper into Alec's embrace. All his protests about checking the network were forgotten. He clutched Alec's arms, shaking as his lower body rattled non-stop.

"Want to see if you can keep them down this time?" Alec reluctantly eased away to grab the pill bottle he dropped on the carpet. "They'll help."

Alec's gut twisted further when Logan nodded.

"Okay," Alec said unsteadily. "How many you think you need?"

"All of it."

Alec's head shot up, not sure he heard right. "What?"

Logan shook his head. "T-two…I meant two…"

There was no reason for Alec's hands to shake like they did as he tapped out two pills into his palm. He caught Logan staring at the bottle, not the pills in his hand. Alec shoved the bottle under the couch.

Logan choked out a laugh and what sounded like "Good idea" before he dutifully ate a cracker, drank half a glass of water and gulped down the painkillers.

Alec let Logan sag into him. He sat with his back against the couch, his arms around the other. He stared blankly out the window. The sun was starting to rise. Daylight burned gold and red and left Seattle looking bloodstained.

The convulsions eased to a mild trembling. Alec felt Logan growing heavier on him as he succumbed to the drowsy relief the painkillers offered.

"Better?" Alec murmured, stroking Logan's face.

"But it won't last," Logan slurred. Something dark and despairing flitted across Logan's eyes. His face twisted. "It'll be gone and I…"

Alec started. "What? Log—"

Logan sagged into Alec in drugged sleep.

It felt like _Alec_ was the one who popped the pills. He leaned back against the couch, letting Logan's weight crush him. He kept his arms around Logan. The room reeked of smoke, the sharp chilled tang of a fire extinguisher and faded ozone mingled together.

Alec dropped his head back and let his eyes slide shut. He should get Logan to bed, somewhere flat, warm and safe. He should, yet the weight pinning him coaxed him to stay put. At least, for now. 

Knowing Logan was in one piece, _alive,_ left Alec surprisingly lightheaded. He sweated, his body overheated under Logan, but despite the discomfort, his heart slowed its frantic pace. 

He made it in time. Logan was safe. 

Alec tightened his arms around Logan. 

The brown bottle of pills rolled out from under the couch.

Relief evaporated into a bone deep weariness Alec hasn't felt since waiting for Logan to come out of surgery.

Alec glowered at the vial. Crushing the thing meant moving Logan; it wasn't an option right now. He glanced down at Logan slumped against him.

"You're not okay, are you?" Alec murmured into Logan's hair. "A couple of pills or whatever that key leads to isn't going to fix it."

Logan, tucked under Alec's arm, slept on. His brow smoothed out of the lines of pain, but the smudges under Logan's eyes still hurt to look at.

"I'll fix it," Alec whispered. "But you need to tell me what to fix."

Eyes sliding shut, Alec let Logan's weight in his arms pull him to sleep.

 

 

"Pink?"

"No."

"Come on! Charred drywall is so twentieth century. How about wallpaper?"

The arched eyebrow was audible in the pause. 

"Sketchy can get me a couple of naked posters of—"

Logan choked, barely able to force out another "No."

"They'll be tasteful!"

Head bent to peer under the desk, Logan shot Alec a look.

Alec sighed loudly for show. He knew they sounded forced, but the gratitude in Logan's red-rimmed eyes stopped Alec from pointing it out. He switched gears and did what he did best: distract.

"I think they would go great with the lesbian vases," Alec pretended to gripe. He twisted under the station to thread through the rest of the thick cables. Logan's legs were folded and tucked between Alec's spread knees. 

"Porn is not the answer to everything." 

"It should be. I think a few of _Eyes Only_ bad guys would be much more congenial after a few rousing rounds of sex."

Logan scoffed. He stretched an arm towards the wiring sticking out of the back side of the station.

Bracketed between Alec's knees, Logan's right foot twitched.

"Careful," Alec cautioned. "Those pills only eased the pain, not fix your back." 

"It's fine." Logan clamped around the seat edge with a white knuckled grip.

"You should have taken another dose," Alec grumbled. Logan's torso was visibly rigid under the faded green t-shirt. 

"I need a clear head to do this," Logan said. "Besides, my l—back feels better."

"It's only been this morning," Alec pointed out. He raised his head, his chin touching his chest as he stared out from under the workstation. Alec enjoyed the view of Logan's hips rolling forward, shifting his weight so he could reach the cables Alec wove through.

Alec mentally chided himself for ogling at a time like this. "You should have slept longer." 

"Your friend delivered the new computer. I needed to get it up and running."

The chair was set down in front of what was left of Logan's workstation, trapping Alec under the table. There was an initial white hot flare of _getoutgetout_ , but Alec squashed it down. He drew up his knees and spread them wider so Logan could tuck in his dangling feet. One socked foot hung dangerously close to Alec's crotch. He fought the urge to arch up towards the limp foot and ground his growing erection against the round joint of Logan's heel.

"I need to secure the network," Logan grunted as he grabbed hold of the hefty black cables. 

"You said it was safe."

"Safe. For now." 

Alec studied Logan's legs bookended by his knees.

"I didn't know badass computer skills were a requirement for journalism." Alec swore under his breath as he untangled the cord of cables. Which was which again? Why were they all the same color? "I barely recognized some of the code you were using."

"Necessity." Logan was clipped for some reason. 

Alec frowned under the desk.

Hearing himself, Logan exhaled.

"After Max and Bling, I realized it was safer for everyone if I handled everything myself." Logan's hands curled briefly on his lap. "So I learned a few new tricks."

Alec bit his lower lip. 

"You don't have to do everything by yourself. Not anymore," Alec said hesitantly. It was easier to say it under cover of the desk. Alec was suddenly aware of how hard the floor was against his back.

Logan said nothing but his hand reached under and brushed lightly over Alec's knee.

"I mean, you got Matt, Phil, even Original Cindy. She is permanently annoyed at me, but you? I think you're the only person with the Y chromosome she tolerates," Alec offered falteringly.

"She's not as annoyed at you as you think," Logan replied. He cupped the side of Alec's knee. "You have your moments."

Alec snorted. "Of course I do. I'm freaking adorable."

Logan coughed, smothering the muttered "Well I think so."

The hand on Alec's knee was warm and broad, solid as an anchor. 

Logan made an audibly pained sound. He sagged back into the chair. Under him, the seat groaned.

Alec almost hit his head as he propped himself up on his elbows.

"You all right?"

"Just…pass me that last set of wires for the monitor." A muscle jumped on Logan's thigh. The foot that floated close to Alec's crotch twitched, banging its ankle on the side of Alec's knee.

Alec automatically closed his knees, trapping the trembling foot so it wouldn't flail into something more damaging.

"Logan."

"Alec. The wires."

Alec set his jaw. He shoved the last bunch of cables through the gap between the wall and the table edge. Knowing Logan, the guy would try and do it himself if Alec refused. Before, Alec roused to find Logan trying maneuver out of bed to work on the computer, only to remember his wheelchair was destroyed. 

"There." Logan sighed as he made the final connections. 

Above Alec, on the desk, a computer chirped. Alec tensed, his legs straightening out to settle his feet against the chair in case a swift kick away was needed.

Luckily, the computer hummed, sans murderous feedback whine. 

Logan breathed out sharply. Immediately after, typing vibrated down to where Alec was.

"Seriously?" Alec scowled. "Hello, devastatingly handsome footstool here!"

The typing paused. 

"Just checking the systems."

"Mind waiting until I can be in a more strategically better position?" Alec squirmed—geez, tiny space—until he could crouch between Logan's spread knees. He tilted his head up; his hands braced on Logan's hips to keep him there.

Alec suddenly grinned. 

"Unless you think this is a better position for another reason." Alec's smile broadened when Logan's cheeks pinked. "You can keep checking on _Eyes Only_ 's systems and I'll check on yours." He slowly ran his tongue over his lower lip. He watched Logan's eyes dilate, mouth parting, hands pulling away from the new keyboard—

A muscle spasmed and a foot kicked against Alec's flank.

It probably didn't hurt but Logan's face shuttered anyway. Alec only caught it because he was kneeling so close. He slipped his hands up Logan's thighs, swiftly moving to his sides before Logan could think about the fact he couldn't feel it.

Alec hesitated as he felt Logan's knee jittered against him. He glanced down with a frown.

"Maybe we should move back to the couch. Is your back still hurting?"

Logan curled a hand over Alec's nape. Alec shivered.

"I know what you're doing," murmured Alec. Regardless, he leaned in at Logan's gentle tug.

"What am I doing?" Logan squeezed Alec's neck. The touch was gentle and warm on Alec's bar code. 

"Trying to distract me again." Alec turned his head. He nuzzled Logan's palm.

"Am I?" Logan continued kneading Alec's nape. "Maybe I thought you needed a massage? Your neck is tense. Stiff."

Alec couldn't help it; he sniggered.

Logan favored Alec with an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Hey, Heather. You're the porn writer; I can't make this stuff up." Alec wrapped his arms around Logan's middle. At least the muscles that lined Logan's lower back felt cool to the touch.

"I know you don't like reminders of what happened to you," Alec said. "And you think I shouldn’t like them either." He palmed the lower back. His fingers dipped into the loose waist band. He stroked the thin skin of the cleft of Logan's ass. He wished Logan could feel Alec's fingernail scratching lightly around the puckered entrance over and over. "But it doesn't. Remember what I told you before? Biology. It's all biology. What I want is in here." Alec splayed a hand over the serene beat of Logan's heart. "It doesn't bother me."

Logan studied Alec. He dropped his chin on top of Alec's head.

Alec's hands swept broad strokes along Logan's sides and back. 

"What bothers me right now," Logan rasped, "is the bed is so far away."

Alec shrugged. "Hey, you were the one to wake up before naptime was over. I was more than happy to molest you in bed all day. Party pooper."

Logan closed his eyes. His breath shortened. It left his voice hoarse.

"There's always the floor."

"Not good for your back."

Logan scowled and no, it really wasn't a cute pout. Although Alec did kiss the tip of Logan's nose for it.

"My back's fine."

Alec slipped a hand under Logan's left knee. His other hand braced Logan's hips. He lifted the knee. It trembled.

Logan scowled again.

Alec chuckled softly. He kissed the corner of Logan's mouth, his chin, the exposed throat where the neckline sagged.

"How about a massage and a nap? We finish up, let your tests run while we take a break," Alec offered as a compromise. "No computers. No network. Just bed, a massage to loosen up your back and me."

Logan's eyes flicked to his computer. His throat worked as he nodded.

 

 

Alec rocked against Logan's hip as light fingers ruffled through his hair, against the grain, calluses rubbing on his scalp, warm tingling touches…

"I thought we were napping?" Alec groaned. He ground his erection against Logan's thigh. He blinked dazedly. He heard Logan's breath catch.

"We were," Logan murmured. "Now we're not." He tugged Alec's hair, pulling his head closer. 

"Babe, you said you would shut your eyes for, what? Twenty minutes? It wasn't even twenty seconds," Alec grumbled, but he obligingly rolled over until he straddled Logan's torso. His cock brushed up the firm planes of Logan's stomach still slick with massage oil. Alec bit his lower lip as chest hair teased the tip of his dick. Pre-come trailed down as Alec's hips rolled back.

"You're unusually frisky today," Alec noted. He dropped a kiss on Logan's forehead. "Maybe explosions are a turn on for you after all." He gently rubbed Logan's flank. "Besides feeling horny, how are you feeling?"

"I feel fine."

Yes, Logan certainly does. Alec breathed out shakily. His head dropped, his forehead resting on Logan's collarbone.

There was a question in there, wisped out of Logan's pink mouth, parted invitingly. His fingers gently tugged at Alec's hair. A demand, a quiet demand, cradled Alec's head like it was fragile, yet gripping with a request that could only be met with force, power and hunger…

Their lips met even as Alec struggled to remember why they shouldn't do this. Logan's back was probably bothering him. He felt the occasional quiver of a cramping calf muscle against him. And Logan refused to take another dose. And this was a distraction. Alec knew this. Hell, this was what 494 did—

Logan's chest heaved against Alec—this was a bad idea—Wait, why, no, they shouldn't d— _oh God, don't stop_ …

The moment Logan's tongue shyly swiped across Alec's lips, Alec lost. Something deep cracked wide open and the urge to pull everything in, take _everything_ offered to him surged through Alec's body.

Alec's hands seemed to have a mind of their own; they came up and caught Logan's face. As their mouths battled for dominance, Alec's hands held Logan's head still. His grip was as iron-strong as Logan's was gentle on his face.

Logan murmured Alec's name again, barely audible but it echoed through Alec's blood as if he'd shouted it. Alec arched his back, whimpering as Logan touched his erection with those fingers.

The grip around Alec's cock was tight, almost too tight, goddamn perfect even if Logan's hand was a bit dry. The pre-come beading on his cock soon made the pace smoother; Alec fucked the fist as he continued to chase Logan's breath.

Soon, the feel of Logan's hand on Alec's erection wasn't enough. Alec pulled one hand off Logan's face. He shoved his free hand under Logan's buttocks. He gripped a cheek, squeezed before he impatiently tugged the loose fitting sweatpants down to bunch around Logan's knees.

A shiver racked Logan's body as Alec kneaded Logan's ass, fingers digging into muscle, maybe too deep, sure to leave bruises, more bruises, but the noises Logan made under Alec's mouth…

Logan continued to pump Alec's dick faster. Alec rubbed two fingers over Logan's hole, massaging the puckered entrance over and over, never slipping in, teasing as he dipped into the hole just enough to make it start to stretch over his fingers, snapping shut when Alec pulled his digits back.

The grasp around Alec's swollen erection _squeezed_ in retaliation, in a blissful pressure that ballooned behind Alec's eyes. He groaned out Logan's name and snapped into Logan's fist. He came with his come splattering over Logan's exposed groin and stomach. 

Alec punctuated his release by roughly rubbing a knuckle down the line of Logan's crack, pressing into the hole before a come coated finger dove in. His finger thrusted hard. It thrusted in a pace as brutal and as abrupt as a punch.

Logan came with a sob, his hands flailing for Alec, his head thrown back as his cock shivered out ribbons of come onto Alec's stomach. He trembled underneath Alec, coming the same time Alec did. He was molten hot around Alec's finger; he was solid under Alec's body. He was damp against Alec's skin. He felt alive. _Alivealivealive_.

A wave of—Alec didn't know what it was—overcame him. Just like that, his orgasm evaporated instead of fading into a roll of ebb and flow. It just simply stopped. 

"Alec?"

Alec stared down at Logan's flushed face. _I almost lost this again_.

Logan curled a hand over Alec's nape and tugged him to his chest.

Alec found himself sprawled awkwardly on top of Logan. He mumbled a protest. 

Logan ignored Alec. He kept one hand curled over Alec's bar code. His other hand smoothed down Alec's back. He said nothing.

Alec pressed his strangely burning eyes onto Logan's shoulder. He clutched the pillows under Logan; he felt them tearing as his fingers dug deep to distract him from seeing Logan bleeding, Logan choking under his arm, Logan thrown towards the hard kitchen island, Logan whispered to Alec he…that he lov—like it was going to be the last time.

Over and over, Logan whispered he was okay, he was all right, Alec was fine and of course he was fine, he wasn't blown up (this time), no bullet nicked his heart, he wasn't trapped upside down and bleeding out in his car, he wasn't the one who hid a goddamn last will and testament to a boy robot weeks before as if he knew his number would be up and…and…

"Shh…"

Logan continued to stroke down Alec's back, smoothing out the trembling that wouldn't go away. Logan kept kissing Alec's brow, his voice a soft blur wrapped around Alec.

"Damn," Alec breathed because what the hell? He locked his elbows and started to ease off.

"No." Logan's grip was surprisingly strong. He kept Alec on top of him, hands still moving around him with all the grace Alec imagined a potter's hands would have.

"I'm crushing you," Alec half-heartedly protested; Logan felt so warm, so _there_. 

"Just for a bit longer," Logan said. He dropped a kiss on Alec's hair. "I need this."

Alec gingerly resettled on top of Logan. 

"Fine," Alec mumbled, "since you need it."

Logan's fingers danced over Alec's bar code before curling to cover it. His lips brushed over Alec's brow. 

Alec twisted his fingers into the rips he made in the pillows. Down feathers both pricked and tickled him. The soft and the sharp made him think of the man pinned under his body.

"God, every time…you're amazing." Alec dropped his face into the crook of Logan's shoulder. He nuzzled a spot behind Logan's ear. "We shouldn't do this. I can feel your legs shaking. Maybe a back massage would help?"

Logan shoved his face into Alec's throat. He scoffed.

"Alec?"

"Hm?"

"That's how we got into this in the first place."

"Oops."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your patience. I've relocated my whining to my Tumblr page to stop wasting space here: [D8rkmessngr's Tumblr](http://d8rkmessngr.tumblr.com/)


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: contains some dialogue from "I Am and I am a Camera"
> 
> Warning: depression, self harm, smut (okay, you don't really need to be warned about that, lol)

As soon as the lights were opened, Sam Carr frowned.

"What’s up, Doc?" Alec quipped over his outstretched legs propped up on Carr's desk. He chortled, unabashed at Carr's baffled expression. "Sorry. Some goofy cartoon Logan showed me. Always wanted to say that to someone." 

"How's Logan?" Carr asked. He was brisk, foregoing all the niceties. Alec started to understand why Logan felt safe sharing his secret identity with Carr. 

"Is Logan all right?" Carr looked like he was tempted to _borrow_ another ambulance again.

Alec made a face. "We need a new wheelchair. We sort of broke the old one."

Carr's eyebrows knitted. "How did you sort of—"

Alec grinned toothily. He waggled his eyebrows. He told Matt Sung the same thing this morning; the detective, his face beet red, mumbled the suggestion to check with Sam Carr at the hospital.

The doctor heaved a sigh. He wiped a palm over his close-shaven head. 

"They're not easy to come by, even in a hospital. People steal them to sell for—"

Carr started when a thick roll of bills bounced off his chest and into his hands. When he got a better look, he almost dropped it.

"Normally," Alec drawled, "I would be one of those people." He framed 'people' with a quick crook of his fingers in the air. "But our Holiness insisted on paying for it."

Carr stared at the roll he unraveled.

"This could get the hospital ten wheelchairs," Carr said numbly.

Alec's mouth ticked up. He tossed over another roll of bills; that Steelhead didn't deserve all this money from selling Blitz anyway. 

"Make it twenty," Alec suggested. It wasn't part of the plan, but running into the Steelhead was the best thing. There was nothing like popping a few knuckles on a steel plated jaw to get him out of the urge to charge into _Cale Industries_ and stomp on someone's head. 

Carr looked dazed, but he nodded.

"Actually," Alec hedged, "we might need _two_ wheelchairs. Just in case." Logan was in the habit of pissing off the worst people.

Carr looked discomforted. "Despite the curative properties your blood may possess, I wouldn't recommend such strenuous, ahem…activity for…" He scowled at Alec's smirk. "Detective Sung warned me about you. How did he really break the wheelchair?"

"One of the satisfied customers of…" Alec waved vaguely towards the small television set that sat on top of a metal file cabinet. 

If anything, Carr's frown deepened.

"Is he all right?"

"I did a _very_ thorough exam," Alec said. His eyebrows went up and down. He sobered at Carr's unimpressed expression.

"Bruised, but nothing was broken. Well, except for the chair."

"More bruising may show up later," Carr warned. "Make sure you check regularly to be on the safe side."

Alec brightened. "Can I get that in writing?" He grinned toothily. "Can you write me a doctor's note?"

"No." Carr glowered.

Alec pouted. He smirked to himself when Carr muttered under his breath. 

"It doesn't even have to be on a prescription pa—"

" _No._ "

Pretending to sigh, Alec scanned the office, idly noting the vulnerable points of entry. Doc really needed a better lock for the cabinet by the wall. He could see a dozen types of drugs that would pick up a pretty penny in the black market. The cabinets stood lopsided against the corners. Old labels designating them from other departments riddled the glass doors.

Carr grimaced. He gestured towards Alec's boots.

"Do you mind?"

Small stacks of folders took up the desk's real estate. Alec carefully swung his legs off one stack littered with colored flags and hastily scribbled notes. Alec hoped he didn't inadvertently mess up Doc's system. Then again, it was probably similar to Logan's filing system. Only Logan sorted his files by levels of scumminess. They went from high priority to highest. He wondered if the doctor's stacks ever shrank or like Logan, they increased in time. He wondered if it was always like that. Did the Pulse spawn the workload or was it always there, lurking inside them?

Alec's smile faded. He bit his lower lip. 

"Say, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

Matt didn't volunteer much whenever Alec asked. In fact, there were times the detective appeared disturbed there wasn't much he knew to begin with. It left an ache in Alec's gut he couldn't understand.

Carr grimaced. The doctor appeared apologetic. "I rather you didn't." He slipped his hands into his pockets. "Doctor patient confidentiality."

"Besides, he hasn't been my patient often enough to reveal anything." The doctor folded his arms in front of him. "He missed his last few follow-ups. I was surprised I saw him even the one time after he was discharged."

"He had more than one appointment?" Alec's eyebrow rose. 

Carr's brow furrowed. "I told him I wanted weekly visits to draw blood and keep track of whatever progress he might make."

Now it was Alec's turn to grimace.

"Sorry, Doc. Nothing to keep track of."

Carr pursed his mouth. "There hasn't been any sort of sensation at all?"

Alec's throat worked. He shook his head. 

"Any response would have first stemmed from the initial point of injury and cascade down. Before, with Ma—" 

"Yeah, he could walk," Alec interrupted curtly. He wasn't sure if it was because Max's name coiled something tight in his chest or the reminder that Alec's blood wasn't good enough. 

Alec squirmed in the doctor's chair. He bit his lower lip. How much of a dick move would it be if he broke into Logan's medical files?

Carr frowned as if he knew what Alec was thinking. Alec stared back, wide-eyed and innocent, but Carr's frown only deepened.

"As his doctor," Carr sighed, "I can't say anything." He sat down on a corner of his desk. He was deep in thought. He delicately cleared his throat.

"As his friend, though…"

Alec smiled faintly. "I'm not trying to steal his insurance or anything. I just…" He shrugged. "There's stuff that's hard to ask him about, you know?"

The doctor nodded.

"I don't know what I can tell you. Logan doesn't share much." Carr looked pointedly at Alec. "You probably know more than all of us combined."

 _Max probably knew more_ , Alec thought with a vehemence that surprised himself. He coughed and mentally shook away the thought.

"How was he?" Alec hesitated before reiterated. "When he first got into the chair?"

Carr hesitated. "Fine."

"Fine," Alec muttered, "Or so he wanted everyone to think."

Carr slowly nodded. 

The doctor's sheet metal desk was dented around the drawer. Someone had tried to jimmy the drawer once. 

"Was he _fine_ when he had to go back in the chair?" Alec pressed over the folded metal and popped out the damage with his thumb. He grimaced at the tiny squeal. 

"I wouldn't know." Carr's mouth pressed thin. "He walked in to see me when the numbness was returning, but after that? Nothing. A few months later, he came in, already back in his chair. He asked me to keep an eye out for anyone coming in with Bling's description." The doctor wearily rubbed his forehead. "I heard they found him."

Alec swallowed. He remembered how Logan sounded in the coroner's office. He sounded like that now, when he told Alec whatever dark mood smothering him would pass.

"I didn't know him from…Before." It felt fitting to capitalize the word; it earmarked two periods no one seemed able to talk about without a twinge in his or her gut. Before the shooting. Before Max's transfusion. 

Carr nodded. "I didn't either. Only after the shooting. The first one, I mean." He gestured towards his little monitor. "And I only found out about that after Max needed help with a medication called Try—"

"Tryptophan?" Alec smiled bitterly at Carr's startled look. "I'm familiar with it." He sighed. "So there's nothing you can tell me about Logan?"

Carr's eyes narrowed. "Is there a reason I should?"

Alec shrugged. It didn't feel right to share; a part of him held tight to Logan's secrets like they were his own. 

"How's his appetite?"

Alec's shoulders lifted briefly again.

"Is he sleeping all right?" Carr glared at Alec's unblinking eyes. "Never mind. Try to avoid keeping him up—no, forget I said that." 

"Kind of hard to," Alec quipped. Still, the cheeky grin he wanted to show died before it even formed.

"How's his mood been?"

Alec stared down at the drawer he repaired. Was there some sort of Dean Heather confidentiality agreement he could invoke? Suddenly, mining the doctor for intel felt like a bad idea.

"I feel like I should be doing something," Alec confessed. It was a concession to the things he didn't want to say. Not out loud, at least.

Carr didn't call Alec on it although his eyes darkened to chips of flint. He wore the same face in the ambulance when Logan was revived and the heart monitor flickered back to life. The line weakly ticked up on the screen. Carr had frowned at it instead of cheering as he mulled over what could have caused it in the first place.

"And you're sure he's not feeling any effects from the transfusion?" Carr asked. "If you can convince him to come in for some follow-up blood work, maybe I can figure out what's going on."

"Doc, I didn't even know there was more than _one_ follow-up," Alec muttered. "How do I convince him to go to something he won't even admit exists?" He glowered at the lifeless television shoved at the corner. He wanted to throw it.

Carr exhaled, conceding to Alec's point.

"Keep an eye on him then."

There was an odd note in Carr's voice. Alec's insides knotted at the tone. 

"But you already do, don't you?"

Alec nodded. He traced the lines on the metal, tracing the ghostly damage. The drawer was an easy fix. 

"But is that going to be enough?" Alec murmured. He stroked the former dents. His eyes burned. He forced himself to stare at it and nothing else.

"Is he letting you try?"

Startled, Alec looked up. 

Carr stared back at Alec, somber, his mouth unsmiling. When his eyes met Alec's, the severity eased and Carr offered a faint curl of his lips.

"Then it'll be enough."

 

 

The thing with corporations: there was never a short supply of overpaid, privileged assholes to take over another overpaid privileged asshole.

_"…will continue to uphold the Cale legacy even if I do not share the Cale name. I've always felt like we were family and it is the way I intend to treat our employees. Family. And this family will be here to propel Cale Industries and our city past the crippling post Pulse economy…"_

Alec squinted through his long range scope. He stared at Gilbert Neal. The guy smiled like a snake, baring fangs (teeth) like he was about to strike.

Neal's smug face begged to be knocked off. Geez, his gray hair has so many products slathered in; it didn't ruffle under the gusty wind.

 _"What's happening right now?"_

"It's like you said, your uncle's partner is picking up the pieces. And pretty damn quickly. He already has all the paperwork dotted and signed."

_"Jonas's puppet master."_

"You think with him up there, his freaks for hire will ease off?" Alec peered through the scope again. A dark tiny part of him wished it was attached to a rifle. Preferably a Gregor 46 60 millimeter. 

_"No."_

"I have great line-of-sight here," Alec muttered. The building was less than a hundred meters away, northbound and opposite the wind. Aiming would be doable with some adjustments. There was wind shear to consider, of course. And judging the bulge of body armor that was threatening to burst out of his tailored dress shirt, Neal expected trouble when he announced he was officially taking the mantle of CEO after Jonas Cale apparently fled the country.

"Not even a hundred meters. If you let me bring a gun..." 

_"How is shooting him in public going to help us?"_

"It'll make you feel better?" Alec suggested.

Dead silence.

Alec winced. The fight this morning still rang in his ear. 

"All right, it'll make _me_ feel better," Alec grumbled.

 _"Yes, I can see how that can help us here_ ," Logan snapped.

Alec frowned to himself. As hot as Logan looked getting all angry and shouty, it was unusual. Logan didn't normally have a hair trigger temper. Lately, Logan easily lashed out at nothing in particular or worse, at himself. Alec kept a roll of gauze by the bed now. And Logan wore pants to bed. Neither said why, but Alec could tell Logan knew by the way his eyes slid away from the snowy white bandages Alec tucked into the nightstand.

Logan sighed in Alec's ear; the argument was tabled for now. _Eyes Only_ , in Logan's view, has priority. That hasn't changed at least.

"Funny thing too," Alec started hesitantly. "I thought you were having trouble tracking down your uncle." He scratched the side of his nose until he realized it was a tick he picked up when he was a baby-faced soldier with expertise in making two hundred meter shots. He tucked the offensive hand under his chin.

"When did _Eyes Only_ receive the tip Jonas Cale boarded a plane for Brazil?"

The line was silent.

Alec smirked. "Isn't it against some superhero code not to broadcast false tips to mere mortals?" He tsked. "Careful, they might strip you of your keyboard for this."

_"Figured if we could get them to focus on one target instead of two, we'll have better luck catching them."_

Alec's jaw set. "You mean to keep them pissed off on _Eyes Only_ and not Jonas Cale."

_"That's the plan."_

"Was it?" Alec shot back. "Thanks for the update."

The silence hung between them.

Alec breathed out slowly. 

"Okay," Alec said evenly. "We'll need to work out some sort of security measures then." 

_"I've always been careful."_

Alec bit back a scoff. "It's different when you offer up your head on the chopping back. Deliberately. We're going to need more than voice cloning and strategically filmed eyes." 

_"See anything? The news broadcast here doesn't show much."_

It was a change of subject; an unsubtle one. And one that was still smarting from this morning. 

Despite getting a replacement wheelchair from Carr, it was agreed (sort of) that it would be better if Logan didn't show his face at the press conference or do a hack. Logan insisted things should be business as usual; _Eyes Only_ needed to be out there taking down the bad guys. Plus, Neal had invited Logan to be present at the press conference, as a member of the Board. It was the perfect way to get someone in.

Alec pointed out it only takes one bullet to resolve the current situation for either side; no sense in making it easy for them. They didn't need Logan to go undercover to get what they need. Not when _Eyes Only_ has an X5 on speed dial.

Insert the yelling. _Yikes_.

"It's just him in a suit that probably costs a year of my laughable salary and half of the Board standing at attention next to him in a show of corporate kumbaya." 

_"The Board will side with anyone who'll keep their bank accounts fat,"_ Logan muttered darkly, _"Anything else?"_

Alec's teeth clenched. Looking and doing nothing grated. He sympathized with Logan. A little. A pissed off Logan was better than a bleeding one, though. 

"The usual ass kissing media are here to help spread the PR spin and—wait…"

The afternoon sun glinted off what looked to be a very expensive military watch. It stood out among the shiny gleam of gold and platinum watches. Alec swiveled the scope on the average height man lurking in the back of Neal's entourage.

"Hello, who the hell are you?" Alec murmured. The tight, reddish curls and trimmed beard wasn't in any of the personnel files Logan pulled up for him. 

_"What?"_

"Everyone else is smiling for the cameras except for this guy. He's been watching the monitors since the moment Neal said 'Howdy.' Like he's waiting for—"

 _"Like he's waiting for an Eyes Only hack,"_ Logan finished. His somber tone told Alec he agreed. _"Phil, do you see anything?"_

Alec winced. "Uh, it's only me. Hoppy is sitting this one out." 

The silence in Alec's earwig stretched.

 _"I thought we agreed no one was going out alone,"_ Logan said evenly.

"Yeah, well, I went to his hideout. His moping around was giving me hives. I told him to warm the bench." Besides, Phil looked like he skipped a burrito or three. Apparently, Matt's mano to mano chat with Phil didn't take. Phil's stuttering apology hurt to hear when Alec came over. 

Alec could hear Logan's _"Told you so"_ in the answering quiet. Logan argued the talk would have been better coming from Alec. But a talk from 494? Alec scoffed. He could have spoken to Phil about killing, but self defense? Yeah, right.

_"Alec…"_

"Hey, the guy's slower on the uptake. That weirdo hat of his is probably compressing brain cells. He'll come around."

 _"Or maybe not. A pep talk doesn't erase the fact someone's dead because of his actions, no matter how justifiable we think it is. If he could hear your take on this, it could help put things in perspective—"_

"Can we talk about this later?" Alec mumbled. He knew Logan heard him anyway. "I want to hear this guy's bullshit."

Logan thankfully didn't answer. 

Neal's simpering speech echoed tinnily from his earpiece and from down below. Surround sound asshole. Awesome.

_"…disappointed the last surviving heir, Logan Cale, refused to come forward and shoulder his family's legacy and ensure its survival. The many thousands of Cale Industries' employees rely on us to…"_

Alec scowled through the scope. If he threw it hard enough, how much damage could he do to Neal's skull? 

_"Can you tell me anything more?"_ Logan's voice in Alec's ear was a relief.

"He doesn't look like Security. No bulges under his jacket and I call that thing a jacket in the loosest term. Looks like a dead animal slithered up his shoulders," Alec murmured. He tore his eyes away from Neal back to the guy in question. He compared the man to Neal. "Short. Maybe five six, five four. Could use a haircut. He can't pull off the scruffy look like you. Clothes don't fit him well, so an executive is out."

 _"He's not visible on the news. Get a photo of him. I can run facial recognition."_

Alec held up the camera he borrowed from 9P. The lawyer had a perfectly new telephoto lens but was too busy using the wide angle lens on his wife and mistresses instead.

"Done." Alec covered the lens quickly so the sun wouldn't reflect off it.

Alec fingered the mic pinned on his neckline. He stared at Neal, tiny within the narrow scope. Next, he turned his focus on the man behind Neal. The man appeared bored as Neal droned on. He kept looking at the monitors. Waiting. And Alec knew this was the man they needed to watch out for. Not Neal.

"I wish you told me you were planning to throw yourself down to the wolves," Alec muttered. He idly tracked Neal giving each board member a handshake.

_"I wasn't planning to."_

Alec grunted. "But it's what you're essentially doing. Wouldn't it have been better to redirect everybody's focus on Jonas instead?"

Logan didn't respond for so long; Alec tapped his earwig to make sure they didn't lose the connection.

Alec sighed. He stared across to Neal again.

"This isn't Bennett," Alec murmured. "Your uncle is just as guilty as—"

_"I don't want anyone else killed because of me."_

Alec wanted to point out that was hypocritical. Didn't Logan argue the same about Phil killing for Alec? Wasn't someone killed because of 494?

_"It's not the same as you."_

Alec blinked, taken aback.

 _"If I direct their focus on Jonas, it would be on purpose. Putting someone in harm's way deliberately is not the same as killing someone to save another. You didn't force Phil and you didn't put him in that situation on purpose."_ Logan swallowed audibly. _"It's better if he stays alive to testify. Eyes Only…being a target is an occupational hazard."_

"Not if I can help it," Alec muttered loud enough for Logan to hear.

 _"I know,"_ Logan said. _"Alec, thank you. I…"_

Logan fell quiet. His breathing was a soft, steady rhythm in Alec's ear like a heartbeat.

"How are you doing?" Alec ventured.

_"Fine."_

Alec bit his lower lip.

_"I'm…okay, not fine, but—Alec, I told you, I get this way sometimes. But it'll pass and…and after we finish this, when it's over…I'll be f-fine."_

"Liar," Alec mumbled.

_"Alec…"_

Alec glowered across the street at Neal, at the mysterious asshole staring at the monitors waiting for a glimpse of a hack. The guy looked like he was waiting for prey. Neal, standing there with his slick smile and waving his arms in broad sweeps, looked like he was trying to lure prey in.

And suddenly, Alec wanted to leave. He wanted to go back and make sure Logan was sitting in front of his stupid computer, even if it meant he was banging his knee against the table agai—no, wait, Alec didn't want that. He wanted Logan, not chanting that it will pass, whatever it is that made him think putting himself out in the open and beating his legs until they were bloody and bruised would make everything better—

"I do, too," Alec blurted out. 

Logan's silence felt startled.

Alec dug his thumbnail into the concrete of the roof ledge,

"I-I want you happy, too," Alec mumbled. The sun was cooking the tips of his ears. Even though no one could see him, Alec squirmed.

"I want you safe. I want you happy. And not shot at. And not bruised. And preferably naked. So very naked. I…" Alec took a deep breath.

"You deserve it more than anyone else."

Logan didn't say anything. The longer he kept quiet, the more Alec fidgeted.

"Dude…" Alec whined. 

_"That was,"_ Logan rasped, _"That was…thank you, even though you did essentially plagiarize me."_

Alec barked out a relieved laugh. "Hey, who's the porn writer here? Hint: not me." He cleared his throat.

"I meant it, you know."

_"I know."_

"And you know that we'll get these guys and whatever else shit going on and…and even if what's running in your head doesn't pass, I'll…I'll—"

_"Alec, it'll pass and I know. You do make me happy already, even if I don't always show it."_

"Yeah, well," Alec mumbled. He peered through the scope once more. "Too bad about the gun. Would it have made you happier now if I graze Neal a little? Maybe below his balls? He looks to be deficit in the jewels."

 _"No."_ Logan sounded amused this time.

"You sure? It'll be an easy shot! It wouldn't even be deep enough for stitches, but it'll hurt enough to make him squeal like a girl!"

Logan chuckled deep and throaty by Alec's ear.

"Come on! I can make him piss in his tailored pants on national television!"

 

 

"I'm supposed to be breaking into a bank right now."

Alec ducked under the grating. He shooed away a pigeon pecking around his boot. He straightened out of his half crawl to glare at the space and its occupant.

The lair, as Phil often put it, was still cluttered with strips of film and boxes of whatever it was Phil liked to collect. One corner remained clear of junk to allow for a cot and a chair. A stack of yellowed comic books took up the seat.

Phil blinked up from his hunched position on the cot. He smiled in greeting; it lacked the usual wild-eyed eagerness.

"But I passed by Carl's food truck and he made these burritos. See?" Alec set the foil wrapped meal on a clean spot on one of the tables. "Tonight's special. Fried clams with your usual hot sauce and peanuts." Alec glanced down. He made a face.

"Guy claimed the clams weren't fished out of our mucky bay. But if you start glowing in the dark, I'd ask for my money back."

Phil offered another smile, but it died quickly.

"Why haven't you showed your face around for the last two days? The littering on the streets is getting epic, man."

Phil shrugged.

Alec's brow knitted together. He ran a hand through his hair. 

"He was a bad guy," Alec said all of the sudden. He saw no point in small talk; he didn't think it was kind at all, just dragging around the obvious. "A bad guy who did bad things."

"I know," Phil said miserably. He stared at his clasped hands together.

Alec breathed out sharply through his nose. "Then what?"

"I still feel horrible about…you know." Phil laced his fingers together, pulled them apart and tangled them together again. 

Alec shoved his hands in his pockets. "Oh. I thought Matt—"

"He did," Phil hastened to say. "What he said made sense. I guess."

Phil pulled his strange headgear off. He twisted and wrung the material with his hands. He opened his mouth but seemed to change his mind and his mouth snapped shut. 

"Then what?"

"I feel different. Unrecognizable. Like even my own mo—" Phil shook his head to rattle the rest of the words away. 

Alec watched Phil continue to mangle his hat. Part of him wanted to apologize; part of him wanted to tell Phil to get over it. This was nothing. A fire extinguisher at a skull was nothing compared to the sure fingers positioned to force a head to go where it should not go.

A faint _tick-tock_ of Lydecker's stopwatch wiggled deep inside Alec's ear. He resisted sticking a finger into his ear to shake it out. 

"I've killed a lot of people," Alec said abruptly.

Phil's side profile was the only thing visible in the shadows. Alec caught him nodding jerkily, swallowing hard.

"What you did was not what I've done. Taking a life with intent is different from without." Alec's jaw worked. His throat tasted sour. He clamped his mouth shut. Carl's fried clam burrito he tried before threatened to make a reappearance. "You did it to save a life; I didn't."

Alec held up a hand when Phil glanced over.

"It's a long story with a not so great ending, so don't ask." Alec's hands dug deeper into his pockets. "The thing is, I did stuff, stuff I should feel sorry about." He leveled a look at Phil.

"The problem is, though, is I didn't."

Alec flexed his hands inside his pockets. He thought he could feel cold, clammy skin; malleable and vulnerable flesh easily broken with a secure grip.

"You feel like shit about what you did and you know what?" Alec shrugged. "I'm kind of jealous about that. Proof you're one of the good guys." He forced himself to keep his eyes on Phil. Phil stared owlishly at him.

"What you're feeling, I think it's good. It means you didn't mean to so you don't want to do it again, right?"

Alec grimaced. He should leave it like that. He came to say what Logan thought he should say. Done. Dealt. But he found himself still talking.

"The thing is…you might."

Phil blanched. He cast huge brown eyes at Alec, waiting for Alec to say he was only kidding.

Alec exhaled between his teeth. "This crazy business we're in? This screwed up world we live in? We may want to keep our hands clean, keep our noses out of it, fly under the radar, but sooner or later, we're going to get dragged back in." He felt a pang as Phil continued to stare at him with dismay. It was as if someone had told Phil _Eyes Only_ was really a serial peeping Tom.

"This lousy feeling you have?" Alec said. "Remember it. There's going to be a time when you're backed into a corner again. And you may have to fight back. Or fight for someone. So this feeling? You're going to feel it again after the deed is done. And it’s going to remind you that you're not a bad guy because you're feeling guilty about it. I never had that. I was never told it was okay to feel like that."

"I don't like this feeling," Phil whispered. His mouth crinkled downward. 

"I think you're not supposed to." Alec studied the fringe of film swaying on a far away table to his eight o'clock. He wondered how long ago that was all Phil done. In the guy's world, it was his way to fix things. Until Alec, until _Eyes Only_ , this was enough for Phil. 

"But you're doing good," Alec said to the film strips waving hello. "This time, you had to do bad things in order to do good things."

"What's the point?" Phil lamented. "Our purpose was to fight for right, be the heroes, but if we have to…" He swallowed. "It doesn't make sense." He tapped a fist over his heart.

Alec's mouth twisted. "Yeah, I know."

"I feel different." Phil held up his hat. He looked like he didn't know who it belonged to. "Will I ever feel like the way I was before?"

"No." Alec dropped his gaze. He couldn't watch Phil's reaction. "You can't undo things: right or wrong. We can never go back to anything, no matter how much we want to." 

"And you're right," Alec continued. "You feel different. After what you did, you _are_ different. I don't think any of us can say we're the same person after what was done."

"When I was _Street Sweeper_ ," Phil said, "I knew what my destiny was. I was…I was _Street Sweeper_. Now—"

"You're still _Street Sweeper_ ," Alec said. "But you're like, 2.0, the new version."

Phil grimaced.

"You don't know how lucky you are you can have this: this shitty feeling over what you had to do and still be the guy you want to be. You can change but still do some good. Some of us don't get to change and some of us don't get to do a shit of good." 

Alec's barcode burned with each word. It felt like Lee went in and brushed those damning black lines with acid. The smoldering agony burrowed deep; Alec imagined it digging into his chest where a real boy's heart should be. He wanted to scratch the tattoo out. He wondered if he did, would he feel what Phil feels.

Phil cast his gaze to his feet.

"I looked in the mirror and saw someone I didn't know," Phil whispered more to himself, "I saw someone my mom wouldn't…I mean…what would she say to who I am now?" He gestured to his surroundings and to himself. "I came here to do good, not..." His brown eyes flicked over to Alec. 

"I don't regret helping you," Phil fumbled. "I only wished I found another way. What would my mom say to all this?"

Alec knitted his brow. This was the first time Phil mentioned his mother. It startled him and it shouldn't; normal people came from parents, not cooked in a beaker and incubated inside a paid uterus. 

"Your mom?" Alec hesitated. "Is she…" His insides loosened when Phil shook his head. "When's the last time you spoke with her?"

"Day after my sister's funer—No, we couldn't afford one. It was after they cremated her." Phil blinked hard.

Alec stared. "That's…that's a long time."

Phil nodded miserably. 

Alec thought back to what Phil once told him. His throat worked.

"Your mom didn't blame you for your sister's death, did she? You were just a kid."

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Alec folded his arms in front of him. "Did she say or do something?" He was pretty sure parents weren't supposed to do that; the thought of someone else out there, barking orders to their kids as well, sat painfully in his stomach.

Phil shrugged. His boot shuffled and kicked at some invisible dirt on the floor.

"I was her big brother," Phil mumbled, "I should have watched out for her; I should have saved her. Why couldn't I do then what I did today?" Guilt flitted across his face. "Not that I wanted to…I mean…" He sagged. The cot creaked under him.

"So your mom _did_ say something." Alec's gut flared.

Phil shook his head.

Alec pursed his lips. "Did you ever ask her?" When Phil hesitated before giving Alec another small head shake, Alec sighed. "You just left?"

Phil nodded, hunching lower.

"You didn't want to stick around to see if she blamed you, huh?"

Phil raised his eyes cautiously towards Alec. He studied Alec before giving a tiny nod in reply.

Alec thought about Rachel on the hospital bed. He thought about her father, his former target, asking 494 why he went against orders and tried to save her. 

"I get it." Alec wished the distance between him and Phil was bigger. It felt like he was within striking distance even though he was ninety one percent certain Phil wasn't even going to lift an eyebrow; he felt exposed the more he talked.

"I don't have a mom," Alec said curtly. He forced the words out so they didn't have time to fester inside. "But I'm pretty sure moms don't do shitty things like that. She wouldn’t have blamed you for your sister. Or for saving my life. I think no matter what, you're her son." He lifted his shoulders. "I mean, that's a mom thing to do, right?"

Alec wondered if the woman looked like Phil or his sister or maybe a bit of both. He knew about the genetic material. He knew the breakdown of DNA and how he got the flexibility of a famous gymnast and none of the arthritis. Manticore sifted out what they thought was inconvenient before cooking him up. 

"Do you remember what your mother looked like?" Phil ventured. At Alec's eyebrow, Phil hastily corrected himself, "Right. You don't have—I mean…"

Alec grimaced. He knew he didn't share anything with a mommy or daddy. At least not with just _one_ mommy or daddy.

The urge to put some distance between them was overwhelming. Alec rested his hips against the table he leaned on. 

"You should ask her what she thinks about all of this," Alec said. His eyes slid sideways; Phil was still staring. "At least let her know you're kicking around." He caught Phil swallowing. "Otherwise you're going to be stuck wondering."

Alec zoomed in on one of the tables that cluttered the space. He zeroed in on the yellowed photo Phil once showed him. It was tacked on one of the posts that held up the drying line for the film. He caught sight of another corner, under the old photograph, curled in like a sleepy cat's tail. Nothing else was visible, but Alec knew.

"You miss her," Alec murmured. He knew he was right when Phil fidgeted on the cot, blinking rapidly. 

"You have a chance to ask her. I…" Alec slipped his hands into his back pockets. When he felt the hard edge of a laminated photo, Alec felt marginally better. He kept it from Phil's photo stash and couldn't bring himself to tuck it away somewhere. He wanted it close by even though he could sketch out Logan's figure from memory.

"If there was anyone worth asking about all the crap I had to do," Alec said, "I would ask." Only he never needed to ask; Logan answered his question through his actions before Alec ever said it out loud.

Thinking of Logan, Alec felt the knot in his throat unraveling. It was easier to breathe; it was easier to stand there, only a meter away from Phil, and not have an urge to fall back. 

"You should ask," Alec told Phil. "I think you'll like the answer."

"You asked Logan." Phil's question hung between them; it sounded more like a statement.

"You could say that. Not in actual words, but yeah." Alec rubbed the back of his neck. 

"Did it help?" Phil went back to crushing his odd hat again. "Did you get the answer you wanted?"

"Maybe." Alec still had trouble believing it. "Then again, this stuff doesn't affect me like that." 

Phil shook his head.

"What?"

Phil opened his mouth but snapped it shut again. He studied Alec with a furrowed brow.

Alec's scowled deepened. "Seriously. What?"

"You're not as callous as you often claimed," Phil said, suddenly bolder. "At times, I find you're equally passionate about justice and—"

Alec held up both hands to ward off the emotional cooties. 

"Whoa, enough with the passionate mumbo jumbo. The only thing I'm passionate about is…" Alec glared at Phil. "I'm not telling."

Phil appeared convincingly innocent. "I wasn't asking."

Alec growled. He shook a fist at Phil.

Phil grinned cheekily, but a beat later, the smile faded.

"You're sure?"

"About what?"

Phil stared down at the hat he held. "I'm still her son? Even though I…"

Alec sobered. There wasn't a debrief, training session or damn projection slide that told him what to say. 

"Sometimes the good guys are forced to do things they don't like. It doesn't mean we're no longer the good guys," Alec rasped. It felt strange to lump himself in with the term 'good guy.' "If you hadn't, you'll be making that mopey face for an even more tragic reason because seriously: the world without me in it?"

"It would be tragic," Phil said solemnly, "I would miss you, a fellow defender of the weak."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Of course you'd miss me. Hell, _I_ would miss me!" He canted his head.

"Your mom will understand what you had to do now and why you couldn't then." Alec wondered if Phil's mother would want Phil home. Wait, what if Phil's mom _did_ blame Phil? His stomach lurched at the thought.

Phil bit his lower lip. He set his hat aside, carefully smoothing out the folds.

"I'll call her," Phil decided. It sounded like a question, though.

"Good idea," Alec agreed. He looked hopefully at Phil.

"So, ah, you're good? I mean, you're okay?"

Phil stared at Alec like he was a shiny, sauce dripping burrito special. 

"You came here to see if I was well? I am touched—"

"Stay seated," Alec warned. "Lower those arms. You even look like you're _thinking_ about hugging me, I'm smashing your hat on your goofy hat."

Phil's eyes grew misty. "Original Cindy says that to me a lot."

Alec huffed. He eyed Phil warily. Luckily, the hugging impulse seemed to have passed. He toed the floor.

"Thank you."

Alec looked up.

Phil's smile was small, but genuine. 

Alec grimaced back.

"Uh. Yeah. So…We're meeting up tomorrow night to figure out which bank vault to hit next. I thought the ones in sector three looked good." Alec caught Phil's grimace. 

"Oh," Alec said lamely. "Well, there's probably nothing there anyway. I mean, it's not really a two man job."

"Maybe…Maybe after I called her?" Phil wrung his hands together. He swallowed. "I want to—that is, I want to know for sure…Not that I don't believe you. I…" Phil winced as his eyes averted. "Sorry."

Alec forced himself to smile. "It's okay. Original Cindy is probably relieved you're not going to keep showing up at _Jam Pony_." 

"Oh?" Phil looked downcast. "She hasn't missed me?"

Oops. Alec tossed the food over. "Just eat your burrito."

 

 

The bed jostled when Alec threw himself on top of it.

"I didn't get to Cleaver tonight," Alec mumbled. He pulled out the crumpled list from his pocket. He stayed where he was: facedown, his body pressed close to Logan's legs.

"It's fine," Logan murmured. Logan didn't look up from his laptop. He had a hand down onto the mattress between them to steady himself. But when the bed stilled, he didn't pull his hand away.

"There's nine more banks to—"

"It can wait." Logan's hand drifted up to card through Alec's hair. 

"Since when?" Alec joked weakly. He turned to rest his cheek on a pillow. He considered the shadows under Logan's eyes. "Did you eat yet?"

Logan shrugged.

"Damn it, Logan. You nee—"

"I ate." Logan shut the laptop and set it aside. He leaned back into the headboard and favored Alec an unreadable look.

"How did it go?"

"Fine." Alec palmed Logan's closest knee. It felt warm under worn cotton. "How's the bruising?" Logan claimed he wasn't aware he was doing it again this morning. "Do we need to get you an ice—"

"Alec."

Alec tilted his head higher. He wished he went to the banks on the list after all. He wished by doing that, Logan would stop looking so tired.

"I told him he was still one of the good guys." Alec stared hard at Logan's leg. "I don't know if that fixed everything."

Logan's hand in Alec's hair curled to give his scalp a light scratch. "It doesn't have to fix everything, Alec."

Alec screwed up his face. "Then why the hell you were so damn hot for me to go over there and—"

"No one can fix everything." Logan sounded oddly sharp. 

Startled, Alec blinked up.

The lines at the corners of Logan's mouth eased. 

"You don't have to fix everything." Logan cupped Alec's nape. He covered the bar code. "The best we can hope for is that it'll help make things easier."

Alec stared at Logan. "That sucks."

Logan choked out a laugh. "You know what? You're right. It _does_ suck." His mouth crooked sadly. "I wish everything can be fixed and just like that, everything would be okay. But…" Logan stared up towards the ceiling. 

"You fix what you can and what you can't, you learn to deal with."

 _I want to fix everything_ , Alec wanted to say. _Tell me what to fix. Tell me what to fix so you'll stop staring at that laptop even though it wasn't turned on._ But he kept quiet. He pulled himself higher so he could sit shoulder to shoulder with Logan.

Logan's gaze stayed on the ceiling, but after a beat, his arm draped across Alec's shoulders.

Alec exhaled. He leaned in, bumping his head gently against Logan's.

"So that's it? Phil's gotta deal?" Alec murmured. He liked the feel of Logan's arm around his shoulders, as sturdy and reliable as any body armor 494 was ever outfitted with.

"We all do." Logan sounded sad. 

"We?" Alec considered Logan. "And how are you dealing?" _What are you dealing with? Why won't you tell me?_

Logan rested his head on top of Alec's. "With you, I am."

"Oh…cool."

Alec plucked at Logan's sweatpants. 

"I…I told him we were the good guys," Alec hesitantly said.

Logan's arm squeezed around Alec's shoulders.

"Am I a good guy? I'm not trying to fish for compliments. I mean, am I—"

"Yes," Logan said immediately. "And I think you're a great guy."

Alec huddled closer, crowding Logan but careful not to push him off the bed. He aligned his body with Logan. He stared down to their feet, side by side at the end of the bed.

"You're right," Alec said, "It doesn't fix everything, but…it helps."

Logan's lips ghosted the top of Alec's head.

"So I'm a good guy now, huh?" Alec murmured. He watched Logan's chest rise and fall. He slipped his palm over Logan's heart to feel him live.

"I think you were always a good guy," Logan said, hushed. "But you were never given a chance to be one."

Alec rested against Logan. He listened to Logan breathe with him. He heard the soft rustle of the sheets under them.

"I'm a good guy," Alec said out loud. It sounded strange in his ears, yet his heart stuttered at the declaration. "I'm one of the good guys." 

Logan kissed Alec's temple in agreement.

Alec's smile widened. He slanted a look at Logan.

"And you think I'm a _great_ guy."

"I recall saying that, yes."

"I am amazing, awesome, and unbelievably hot with the biggest di—"

"Okay, now we're getting carried away."

 

 

"Colonel Nickolas Johannessen."

Alec made a face as he peered over Logan's shoulder. He glared at the stoic face and the uniform on the screen.

"That's him," Alec declared. "But he has some mountain man beard going on these days." He stared at the photo. Ghostly lines of a target lined up Johannessen's face. He shook the vision out of his head.

"Colonel Johannessen, huh?" Alec padded into the kitchen for the leftover Chinese food he heated up. Logan's definition of 'I ate' last night was a couple of spoonfuls of fried rice and half-hearted bites of fried orange meat. _Damn it, Logan._

"For the South African military which threw a coup d'état a few months after the Pulse."

Alec pried open the white cartons to examine their lunch options. Geez, did Heather ordered one of each? "The Republic fought back, though, right?" He sniffed at one particular carton. He wrinkled his nose. "What is this? Sweet and sour…?"

"Pork," Logan said absently. 

" _Okay_ , if you say so, babe."

"The Republic was able to regain control and they arrested three of the generals who were involved." Logan's keyboard chattered in the background. "Johannessen was one of them out of the Zulu province, a base called Zah…zah wa—"

" _KwaZulu-Natal_ ," Alec corrected, putting the accent on the right syllable before Logan could mangle the rest. He considered the container of beef broccoli. Broccoli? He made a face. Out of the corner of his eye, he studied Logan slouched by his computer. He mentally shrugged. He could always pick out the broccoli. 

"Wait," Alec realized as he divided the cartons' contents onto plates for the microwave. "Last I recall, government overthrowing was a no-no and punishable by death." 

Alec balanced the plates of food on one arm. He reached out the other hand to snag the rest of the fried rice. 

"And I thought you said he was a colonel?" Alec made a face as he caught one plate before it wobbled off his elbow.

"Johannessen was given a pardon and demoted to the rank of colonel, but that's when his record gets spotty."

"Great," Alec bit out as he shoved the plates into the appliance and set it on _High_. He glared at the rotating plates inside the amber glow of microwave. "So he vanished after basically getting a slap on the wrist?"

"Not exactly." Logan sounded smug.

Alec turned on his heel. He stared at Logan's back.

"Okay, _Eyes Only_ ," Alec drawled. "Gimme."

Logan turned slowly in his chair to face Alec. His eyes looked weary, but there was a brightness in them. Alec didn't realize how much he missed it until now.

"There was a mention in an old email about a new project. I found a charge for a bus ticket. There was also a redacted form. He was transferred to oversee the South African Correctional last year in exchange for the lighter punishment."

"The Reds," Alec guessed.

Logan nodded. "That year, there were also a high number of pardons in the death row ward." His mouth twisted. "Overcrowding and budget cuts."

Alec snorted. 

"Seven months later, he and a group of military contractors arrived at LAX under temporary working visas." Logan's brow knitted. "The corporation that co-signed the visas was a company called Timtak, but so far, I can't find anything on this firm."

"You won't," Alec said, his throat tightening. "They don't exist. Timtak was a code name for a genome sequencing operation run by—"

"Manticore."

Logan concluded with a strained voice. Nevertheless, Alec flinched.

"Now we know how the Reds knew about the X-5 series." Alec smiled. Tried. He folded his arms in front of his chest. 

"There are nine countries in the world trying to create their own version of a supersoldier," Logan said. His eyes were steady on Alec's face. "We only knew about Manticore's because of the rumors on an escape, when Ma—" 

Logan glanced down to the floor.

Alec poked through the rest of the cartons on the kitchen island.

"Anyway," Logan said briskly, "We now know who the handler is and how many we're dealing with." He nodded over his shoulder at the computer. 

"Johannessen flew to LAX with ten additional visas."

"Okay, we crispy fried one, ventilate another, at the cemetery we retired two then later…"

Logan grimaced at the count. "They're down to five left." His chair turned around. "I was able to hack into LAX security and find old footage. Big surprise, all the names on the visas was faked, but I was able to get their faces."

Alec stayed where he was. He found he couldn't get himself to move since the 'M' was mentioned. He zeroed in on the monitor past Logan's shoulder.

"Okay," Alec said as steady as he could. He moved robotically when the microwave beeped and grabbed the plates despite how hot they were.

"If we go by the order they came through the gate, we have numbers One, Two, Four, Five and Eight left." Alec set the food down besides Logan. "It's not saying much, but we were left with the uglier of the bunch."

"Five," Logan murmured. He shook his head. "I don't like it."

"I'm not exactly doing cartwheels over here, Heather." Alec narrowed his eyes. He shoved forks deep into the food.

"Alec—" 

"And your buddy Sebastian is still trying to figure out the kill switch frequency." Alec stabbed, missed, tried again and speared bright orange tinted pork. His fork scraped the bottom of the plate with a screech.

"Alec—"

Alec chomped on his food. He chewed noisily. "You sure I can't convince you to get a bazooka? Guy working windows in the Russian embassy can get one cheap."

"Maybe you should stop looking."

Alec started. "What?"

"The key." Logan swiveled around to face Alec squarely. "I have enough evidence gathered against them in my servers. I could release them in a hack; the Reds will be forced to go underground." After a beat, Logan quietly added. "Maybe you want to put that fork down, too."

Alec looked numbly at the utensil in his hand. It was bent in the middle of the stem. He gulped down the rest of his food. He straightened the fork with an easy twist of fingers before deliberately setting it down on his plate.

"We should forget about the key." Logan studied his plate with an intensity Alec never saw Logan used on food. He stared at it like it was the next _Eyes Only_ hack.

"What about Neal?" Alec pointed out.

"I'll keep digging. I got into the private servers once. I might be able to get back in."

Alec set his jaw. "And get blown up again? No, that key and whatever it leads to will give us a better chance of staying in one piece—"

"For me, but not you." Logan ignored his food. His jaw was set. "I didn't realize Manticore was involved."

"Maybe."

Logan made a harsh noise. "I'm not risking you on a 'Maybe' and against five Reds."

"They came here under the pretense of working with Manticore." The name tasted bitter on Alec's tongue, "But apparently they went rogue. Manticore was never known for their employee retention. Hell, look at me—"

"Even if Manticore is nowhere near this. Five enhanced super soldiers are gunning for you."

Alec grunted. "I've played hide and seek with the big boys before. I can definitely play—"

"Not with these guys," Logan cut in sharply. He gripped the hand rails tightly. "Alec, they want a biosynth. It doesn't mean they need you _alive_." He sucked in a deep breath. "At least with Manticore, they want you alive."

Alec's face contorted. "Sure they want me _alive_. I'm not cheap, despite what you may hear. But they get me, they _reboot_ me and if they do that, how is that any better than dead?"

The words hung between them. What a joke. Alec was suddenly Mister Popular. Everybody wanted a piece of him. Literally.

"Look," Alec exhaled. "That key. It could put a bad man away for a long time. Considering all that happened to get here…" He paused. Guilt flitted across Logan's face; he knew the other was thinking of Bennett Cale.

Alec gentled his tone. "A lot of people are dead because of Neal. He didn’t pull the trigger or wrote all the checks, but a lot of people aren't here because of him. You think it's enough to just dirty up _Cale Industries_ or put your uncle in jail?"He narrowed his gaze.

"Giving up is not you. I thought _Eyes Only_ sought justice at all costs."

"Not if the cost is you."

Alec stared at Logan, speechless. Inexplicably, he felt a flush rising up his ears. He ducked his head. He cleared his throat.

"Yeah, w-well, it's not going to be," Alec stammered. "I mean, I have stuff in this place I called dibs on. I'm not going to buy it before I can enjoy them."

Logan shook his head. "It's too risky."

Alec looked at Logan's barely touched plate. He thought about the ice pack Logan tucked behind a server and the damp spot on Logan's sweatpants around the knee. He swallowed.

"We almost have him," Alec urged. "We're close, babe. We got him by the balls. Look, the guy's freaking out so much, he dropped the subtlety and hired crooked jaw thugs after us. He made your computer go _boom_. Whatever this key leads to, Neal is scared shitless. We can't stop now."

Alec brushed a hand over Logan's head.

"You know I'll be careful," Alec murmured, "I don't want the cost to be you either."

Logan closed his eyes briefly. "You mentioned security measures?"

"Yeah, maybe it's time to show off your computer skills, _Eyes Only_. You do whatever you have to do to ensure your servers stay intact in case of another attack. I'll secure the penthouse for the same." Alec carded Logan's hair. "And I'm nailing your windows shut." 

In spite of the worry clearly lining Logan's face, he faintly smiled.

Alec scoffed. "You find that funny, huh?"

"You called dibs?" Logan repeated.

Alec blanched. Oh. He coughed. He waggled his eyebrows at Logan's arched eyebrow. 

"Sure. Why not? I called dibs on the guestroom—well, the bookcase in there." Alec tweaked Logan's nose. "I got dibs on that green toothbrush."

Logan's tired smile lost its worn edge. He gazed at Alec, bemused.

"Stalking your claim?

"Definitely." Alec crouched down to the balls on his feet. "I called dibs on the right side of the bed—"

"Oh is that what the shoving me to the side is called?"

"Quiet. I called dibs to the armchair. Dibs on that chair in the dining room. Dibs on your lips…"

Logan choked. "You can't—"

"Dibs on this." Alec slipped a hand over the swell between Logan's legs. "Dibs on that…" He reached back and tucked a hand under Logan's buttocks. "Mm, dibs on this." He nibbled up Logan's neck. He chuckled against the skin as Logan bared his throat with a guttural sound. "Oh yeah, calling dibs on that, too."

"Are you leaving me anything?" Logan muttered distractedly. "Besides the clothes on my back?"

"Calling dibs on those, too," Alec growled. He pawed Logan's henley. "Who said you could wear these? Off!" 

Logan chuckled against Alec's mouth. "I'm calling dibs on this then." He palmed Alec's jaw as he kissed and savored.

Alec hummed. His hand still cradling Logan's ass, he nudged Logan closer to him.

"Hell," Alec muttered. "I'm calling dibs on the whole kitten caboodle."

Logan yelped when Alec dragged him out of the chair and eagerly settled him onto the carpet.

 

 

Logan picked up the phone before the first ring finished.

_"Alec?"_

Alec leaned against the payphone, thought better of it and edged away from the grimy looking stall.

"Number eleven was the winner." Alec patted the stuffed envelope tucked inside a pocket he sown into his jacket. SOP. One never knew when one needed a secret pocket.

_"What is it?"_

"A bunch of papers. Very charmingly archaic. Haven't looked at them yet. Bank vault had better security than I expected." 

_"I didn't hear anything on the police scanner so you mustn't have tripped any alarms."_

Alec snorted. "Of course I didn't trip any—" He stopped and narrowed his eyes.

Logan's voice sharpened.

_"Alec?"_

"I'll call you back," Alec said under his breath.

_"Wait, what's wron—"_

Logan's demands were cut off when the receiver went back on its hook. Alec slipped his hand under the payphone.

With a hard yank, Alec pulled the main line off the phone. Then, to make sure it was harder to trace the call, Alec pried the phone's housing off and punched his fist into its innards. His knuckles stung briefly, but it was worth it as he watched sparks eat the wiring. 

Alec knew there were other ways to trace a call, but Alec had called _Eyes Only_ 's cell and he knew Logan set it up on dummy corporations funded by shell companies. Even Alec couldn't trace them all in a reasonable amount of time.

Nevertheless, when Alec heard another tiny scrape of a pebble caught under the thick sole of a boot, he had gone into security mode.

Alec pretended to search the payphone's belly for quarters. He kept an ear open. Despite the coins rattling in his cupped hands as he dumped the stash into his backpack, Alec heard the distinct sound of a raspy breath hissing between clenched teeth. 

It was hard to tell if it was one or two or hell, even all five. But it was evident the moment Alec stepped out of the peripheral field of potential witnesses, whoever was watching Alec will strike.

The bulging envelope was heavy inside Alec's jacket. He made no move to check it, giving away he had found something and where he kept it.

The street was a favorite spot for day-laborers and night-laborers. A few dirt smudged men lingered under a street lamp, counting their fives and tens of today's work. A few women (and one or two desperate looking boys) orbited around the men in hopes of coaxing those fives and tens out of their fingers.

Alec considered the alley across from him on his right. It was well-lit for a change and led to a few places that could provide a higher ground. 

Whistling, Alec hefted his backpack like he was testing the weight of his ill-gotten quarters. He took a step towards his motorcycle at the corner on his left. 

With an abrupt turn on his heel, Alec bolted for the alley.

There was a delay, but sure enough, the rapid heavy tread of two pursuers chased Alec's heels. 

Alec snatched up a crumpled beer car from the ground. He threw it into the street lamp that shone in the middle of the alley.

With a _crack_ , glass shattered and the alley immediately dropped into darkness.

Alec's eyesight quickly adjusted. He heard surprised cries, but luckily they were outside the alley. No one cared enough to venture near to see what the hell was going on. 

Footsteps thundered closer. The heat of a hand ghosted Alec's nape.

Alec whipped his backpack around and slammed hundreds of dollars worth of quarters into a Red's jaw. 

After the Pulse, the government scaled down their metals in smelting coins. Quarters only weigh four grams now. Still, it was at least ten pounds of metal.

Give or take a hundred pounds of krugerrand.

Okay, Alec may or may not have checked out the other deposit boxes, too. 

The Red collided with his partner. They crashed into the newly malfunctioning street light. The pole buckled under their weight. Exposed wiring sprayed sparks. The Reds jittered under the charge, but eventually, they jerkily untangled themselves and staggered back to their feet. 

The backpack was never meant to be used as a makeshift mace. The bottom tore. Quarters and gold coins scattered. 

Alec scooped up a fistful of coins as he ran. He gripped his pack; he couldn't leave it behind for the bastards in case there was anything of a clue in it. 

The end of the alley beckoned; a light from another street lamp shone like the god damn end of a tunnel kind of shit. 

Alec poured on the speed.

Behind Alec, two pairs of footsteps followed.

Alec knew zapping them wasn't going to be enough. And most of his defense was scattered on the concrete soon to be snatched up by greedy fingers. He poured on the speed. He needed to reach the alley with enough distance to find cov—

Manhole!

Alec spotted the rusty circle up ahead, which meant there was another one probably around the corner, out of sight. 

If he could get some breathing room to duck in.

A whoop echoed off the alley walls. 

Alec burst out into a grin. _There's my boy_ , he thought fondly.

Phil _bounced_ , his exoskeleton's gears whining and grinding, over Alec's head. Boots planted on the first Red's face. An exoskeleton enhanced kick caught the second Red under his chin.

The two Reds dropped to the ground.

It was the opening Alec needed. He nodded curtly, two fingers towards Phil and jabbing to the sky. He gestured with the same fingers to himself and pointed to the ground.

Phil nodded. He even snapped out a salute and goofy grin before he went hopping hop hop from fire escape to fire escape and disappear into the night by the rooftops.

Alec didn't wait to see if Phil was clear. He didn't dare. Already, he heard the Reds struggling to stand.

Whipping around the corner, knees aching and chest burning, Alec searched for a—there! Two meters away, another corroded metal disk. 

Alec threw the coins in the opposite direction. His shoulder burned, but he was rewarded with the sound of them clinking far behind him. Alec hugged his destroyed backpack to his chest. Knees burning, chest tight, Alec pounded the pavement to the manhole. 

The manhole cover groaned from neglect. Rust and old paint flaked off and sprinkled over the raised words _Waterworks of Seattle_. Alec hastily kicked the evidence into the hole before jumping in after them. He dragged the cover over the opening. He yanked back his fingers before the heavy lid could clomp down on them as it slotted back into place.

Alec pinched his nose shut. The dank sewer smell was, unfortunately, a familiar one. He stayed crouched under the sewer cover, his backpack snug against his ribs. He watched the light coming out of the storm drain to his one o'clock.

Water trickled around his boots and gurgled past him.

A rat squealed in the distance as another rodent challenged its territory.

Flies buzzed angrily as they skimmed the filthy water for food.

A shadow crossed over the drain.

Alec tensed. He held his breath. The dark band was soon joined by another. Suddenly, what little light the storm drain provided was gone.

Dirty water swirled around Alec's ankles. He wondered if the water was louder than usual. It sounded louder. Was his presence riling up the sewer? Could they hear him?

Night vision filtered in as natural as a blink. Alec tracked the two shadows lingering by the storm drain. He should have moved further back. He can't now; they might hear the splashing.

Did he get rid of all the sprinkles of paint and rust from the manhole? Were they staring at the cover and seeing the disturbed layer of corrosion?

Alec strained to hear; the Reds above him barely made a sound. Barely breathing, in fact. Crap, maybe Phil was right: they were zombie assassins after all. 

_Come on, come on_ , Alec thought. Immediately, he stifled that as well because zombie death row assassins might be able to read minds too. Great, psycho psychic zombie assassins—Wait, or was it _psychic_ psycho zombie assassins? Or is it _zombie_ psychic psycho…

_God damn it, Phil._

Alec mentally shook a fist skyward where that contagious goofball was hopefully far away from here. He turned his attention back to the shadows that eclipsed the storm drain.

A sliver of moonlight appeared every so often as the Reds paced indecisively. Alec gritted his teeth. He kept holding his breath. His backpack's zipper dug sharply into his side. For a second, Alec wildly wondered how big a splash his blood would make dripping into the sewer.

One of the Reds grunted. It disappeared from the storm grate.

Above Alec, the cover ground out a whine when something heavy stood on top of it.

The other shadow lingered. A beat later, the other returned.

Above, the manhole wiggled as the Reds walked over it.

Blood pounded in Alec's ears. He wanted to tighten his grip on his torn backpack, the only thing left in his arsenal. Shit, maybe he should have taken the grenade with him. Then again, if Logan caught Alec pulling the explosive out from its hiding place under the dining table, something else would have exploded. Ha ha, why the fuck was he thinking of puns right now when he could feel flakes of rust sprinkling his face as the manhole squirmed under the weight of— 

A far away but clearly annoyed voice rang out.

After a beat, the two Reds lumbered away. A few minutes later, something rolled over the manhole. A car, no, heavier. A van? The manhole cover rattled, but the vehicle didn't stop.

Alec waited. He slowly inhaled; a thin stream of air fed his lungs. The lightheadedness creeping around the edges of his vision retreated. He curled a hand over a slimy ladder rung. He didn't climb up.

The phantom whining of a bone saw echoed in Alec's head. He thought he saw the circular shadow of a hoverdrone skim past the grating. 

Alec's hand relaxed around the rung. His shoulders rounded as he hunched lower. His knees bent and dampened as they touched the water.

_Black disks floated by and the feeble light from the drain flickered in and out. The sewers around him shrank. The smell soured and burned the back of 494's throat._

Alec felt sweat dripping down the back of his shirt. He flinched because it reminded him it'd been a week since he went to Lee to scab up his bar code and damn it, he knew the Twenty recognized him. Any day now, Lydecker was going to roll up and track down 494 and—

"Alec?"

Everything around Alec snapped back into place. He glanced up. Another shadow crossed over the storm drain, gliding left and right smoothly.

The shadow stopped by the storm drain again.

"Alec?"

 _Logan_.

The tension in Alec's bones bled away. Alec found he could move again. His hands stung as they wrapped around the rungs; one after the other until he climbed higher towards the cover.

Logan's guns whipped around as the manhole cover slid off to the side. They lowered after Alec's head popped up.

Alec grinned at Logan. "Howdy," he chirped. Immediately after that, his smile flipped. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Logan blended in with the shadows in his black pullover and dark jeans. The double holsters crisscrossed Logan's shoulders was hidden from naked view nicely. However, his light colored hair, wheelchair and pallor would have given him away.

"Phil called and told me you were planning to go below ground," Logan said. He slipped his guns back into his holsters with a smooth move that stirred a heat between Alec's legs. Alec squirmed.

"Looks like our fans have been staking out banks, waiting for me to show to one of them eventually." Alec patted his jacket to confirm the envelope was still there. "I needed to shake our tail before coming to you." He frowned. "You should have waited."

"Alec, you were gone for _three hours_." Logan's expression was pinched. "You expect me to sit back after getting a call like that?"

Alec blinked. He numbly looked behind him at the manhole. 

Three hours?

"Your hands are bleeding."

Alec raised his hands. Sure enough, they were bleeding around the bends of his fingers. Half crescent moons in the fleshy part of his palms stood stark white. They were almost luminescent in the dark.

Words died in Alec's throat. He felt himself heating up under Logan's scrutiny.

"I…" Alec shrugged. "I used to hide in the sewers a lot. Not one of my favorite places." He lifted his shoulders again.

The stress lining Logan's face eased; his hazel eyes appeared an intense green that bore down on Alec.

"Come on," Logan said gruffly, "My car's over there." He sniffed delicately towards Alec. "You need a shower."

"No I don't," Alec retorted. He lifted up an arm and took an experimental sniff. He blanched.

"Okay, maybe I do." Alec trotted after Logan. "You might want to roll down the windows, too."

Logan's voice was as dry as Alec's socks were not.

"Agreed."

 

 

"Gilbert Neal."

Alec grunted. He continued scrubbing a towel through his damp hair. He padded barefoot over to the office.

Logan was typing one handed, the other flipping through page after page of signed documents.

"You already knew it was him." Alec smiled at Logan's bent head. It's been a while since he saw Logan like this: furiously typing away, shoulders hunched like he was about to cannonball out of the chair. Alec suddenly wanted to take a picture. "You figured it was him before we even found any of this."

"Yes, but now we have the evidence to back this up. We can convict him with this."

Logan's cheeks were stained red, his eyes bright with satisfaction. He held up the documents with a fist. 

"This shows him splitting the profits with Uncle Jonas in the very first transaction. Neal's went to a shell company in the Caymans under his daughter-in-law's maiden name. But he's the only signor of the account and it's all here. All of it."

Alec draped his arms around Logan's shoulders from behind. Logan's heart thundered reassuringly under his arm. Alec kissed the corner of Logan's mouth.

"Neal was originally a lobbyist for _Cale Industries_. He was the one with the government contacts to connect my uncle to the right people. There are printouts of every corrupt government official bought out to vote their way. And there's even a printout of emails to Russia about selling them the hoverdrones, specifically those that can…"

Logan steered his chair around until he faced Alec.

"This is it," Logan breathed, "My uncle. Gilbert Neal. _Cale Industries_. The hoverdrones. There's even correspondence with one of the state penitentiary wardens notifying them a list of early releases— _Alec_." His eyes were feverish bright as they tipped up towards Alec. 

Alec rubbed a thumb across Logan's hairline. He leaned in and kissed Logan's brow.

"You did it, babe," Alec murmured.

Logan grabbed the ends of the towel hanging around Alec's neck. 

"No. _We_ did it," Logan said firmly. He tugged, pulling Alec to him.

Alec chuckled. The feel of Logan vibrating against him as he did the same made something swell and burst in his chest. He crushed Logan to him. Logan held him just as tight. Their soft laughter mixed and filled Alec's ears. He wanted to hear Logan like this. Every day.

"This is good," Alec murmured. His breath ruffled Logan's hair. Rich, brown strands tickled his nose. "This is great. I…" He couldn't wrap his head around how he felt. He wanted to shout. He wanted to laugh. Hell, he wanted to cry and wasn't that weird? Logan was breathing against him, acting more alive than Alec ever felt him in weeks.

"We got the bastards, babe." Alec framed Logan's face with his hands. "The world is less fucked up today."

Logan's mouth quirked, acknowledging Alec's words for what they are: not consolation, but affirmation because thinking about the other battles can wait until tomorrow. Logan's eyes dropped half mast as he leaned forward.

As always, Alec was happy to meet him halfway.

Teeth briefly knocked when they slid their mouths together. Alec gripped the rims, stilling the chair as it inched back. He nipped Logan's lower lip, locked his mouth into place as he huddled closer.

Logan groaned under Alec's attentions. He gently suckled on Alec's tongue. His mouth grew bolder, searching, seeking Alec's mouth. His tongue darted in, deeper, demanding, hot and wet.

The wheelchair creaked as Alec pressed in. The damp towel around his neck slipped free and dropped onto Logan's lap. Logan started, his arms wrapping around Alec's middle. Their noses bumped and Alec may or may not have giggled.

Kissing turned into touching which turned into undressing. Soon, Logan was slouched into his chair, his beautiful ass hanging off the edge of the seat, Alec crowding him as he thrust up into him.

Alec clutched the hand rims now for a better grip and to secure Logan in his place. Logan's bent knees bookended either side of Alec's ears; they bounced over Alec's shoulders as Alec piston into Logan.

Logan's head was thrown back uncomfortably against his seat's back. His biceps flexed, beautiful, strong arms swelled with muscle as he struggled to curl white knuckled hands around the rails. 

Alec pounded, pushing the chair further back until it rapped against the edge of the workstation. Sharp knocks quickened as he picked up the pace. Logan gasped wordless encouragements. His hoarse pleas fueled Alec; he couldn't stop. He couldn't. There was no way he imagined ever wanting to stop devouring every fiber of Logan's body.

Logan whined through clenched teeth when Alec spilled into him again. Come dribbled down the soft skin of Logan's inner thighs as Alec frantically stroked through Logan's first and then second orgasm. He kept going, bending Logan in half, the computer behind them jumping on the desk, the chair's rubber treads squeaking on the hardwood floor.

White heat exploded behind Alec's eyes and behind his hips. He slammed into Logan one last time. He _screamed_ Logan's name and came over and over into Logan.

Logan arched his back. He shouted gutturally as he came. His hands curled over Alec's drew blood.

"Oh God," Logan moaned as Alec's cock slipped free from his body. He squeezed his eyes shut. "Alec…I…"

Alec smashed his mouth over Logan's. He felt the dampness on Logan's face; he knew it matched the wetness on his. He kissed Logan deeply, swallowed Logan's words as he caressed the other's balls and felt around the slicked entrance. 

Eyes closed, Logan mumbled by Alec's ear. He swept his hands over Alec's arms. His legs slipped off Alec's shoulders and dropped to the floor with a sharp _thump_ before Alec could lower them.

Logan hissed. 

"Sorry, babe," Alec murmured. He cupped the back of Logan's left calf. He held it tight to his flank and savored the heat soaking into his skin. "We should have taken this somewhere more comfortable." 

"Did you hear me complaining?" Logan kept his eyes closed even as he struggled to sit back deeper into his chair.

"No, I was right there with you on the not complaining, but…" Alec made a face at the stained seat. The brakes were definitely a lost cause. "Good thing I asked Doc for _two_ chairs."

A glazed hazel eye popped open. 

" _Please_ tell me you didn't ask for two chairs because you thought we might break one during sex."

" _Well_ , there may have been some alluding that the original chair was broken during certain activit—" Alec snorted as Logan swung a half-hearted fist towards his groin. "Hey! Be nice!"

Alec huddled in between Logan's legs to pull Logan to the edge of the seat again. He nuzzled Logan's throat. He licked the sweat trailing along the jugular. He felt Logan smiling against his brow. Alec's own grin widened as he peppered the damp skin with small kisses. He tenderly followed the line of Logan's throat to his clavicle. He lingered on the ancient dent there, a hurt that never healed right.

"Bed," Alec whispered, but he already knew the answer.

"I have to— _Alec_ …I need to do a hack…" Logan gestured over his shoulder to the left. The documents were to the right, though.

Alec was unsurprised. He dropped another kiss on Logan's mouth. And just because why the hell not, dropped another kiss on Logan's nose. Logan blinked in response.

"Would you…" Alec nibbled Logan's ear. "…Like to…" He dragged a hand through the sweat matted chest hair. He gave the pecs a fond scratch. "…Get dressed first?"

Logan blinked again. He glanced down at himself.

Alec couldn't help kissing Logan's red ears.

"Maybe a shower before that," Logan said weakly. He tilted his head towards Alec's mouth as it lingered on the junction of his shoulder.

"Or you could always reconsider your position in broadcasting in the nude—" Alec snickered when Logan shoved him back with an eye roll.

 

 

_"…into a killing machine."_

Party pooper.

_"The Cale Corporation is guilty of murder. Its executives, Jonas Cale and Gilbert Neal, have turned..."_

Alec lay on the bed with his arms folded behind his head. Logan banned him from the living room after he caught Alec with his pants down (literally), hand curled around his already interested dick, ready to jerk off to the dulcet tones of _Eyes Only_. 

_"… lobbied and bribed their way into violating our rights. They preyed on a post Pulse nation's fear; they developed the hoverdrone that stole our freedom and if the price was right: our lives."_

Alec frowned in memory. There had been talks about bringing back the hoverdrone in a limited capacity and under the government's control instead of _Cales's_.

Yeah. _So_ much better.

_"...billions of dollars that belonged to the people and not to the CEOS who didn't blink an eye in using human lives as laboratory mice."_

Alec grunted. There was a thin edge to Logan's voice he hoped the synthesizers would filter out. Logan's general _Eyes Only_ contempt for the corrupted was a bit intense tonight. And Alec got it. But one might wonder about the unusual level of ire during this evening's hack.

_"Bennett Cale became a tragic scapegoat in his own father's greedy scheme…"_

Unbidden, the metal tearing sound of Logan's car flipping under a barrage of bullets rose up in Alec's memory.

_"…trying to do the right thing only to be killed for it."_

Alec remembered the sensation of Logan tucked under his chin, upper body shivering, his legs still and unmoving yet bleeding and pulling every drop of life out of Logan. Logan said he couldn't feel anything, but Alec felt it: every jolt, cut and ragged bloody edged hurt as if they were on Alec's body. He was glad Logan couldn't feel it; cauterizing the wound made the injured leg twitch. Only once, but enough that Alec almost dropped the heated shard he used to seal torn flesh together. Whenever Logan's legs twitched again, Alec thought back to that day. He thought about Logan bleeding out. He thought about IVs hastily unrolled, blood flowing too slowly to replenish what Logan lost. Alec willed his blood to replace, to heal, to make Logan feel better. He didn't want Logan to hurt again, to feel the agony of seared flesh, limbs jerking in a pain Logan was unable to feel…

Logan's leg had twitched before it dropped.

Logan felt it when his foot struck the floor.

Outside the bedroom, Logan was finishing up his hack. It was a few seconds longer than most; longer and it would be easy to trace.

But Alec wasn't listening to it anymore. He wasn't listening for the ominous whine of a feedback signal. He turned his hearing inward. His head reeled.

The bruising. The spasms. The trembling against Alec when he leaned into Logan. The grimaces. The nightmares. 

Oblivious to the turmoil in the bedroom, Logan finished up with his signature "Peace out."

The end of the hack acted as a signal. Alec swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He stood up. Abruptly, he sat back down. He looked over to Logan's side of the bed. The sheets were new, but he still saw the droplets of blood where Logan had clawed up his legs in his sleep. Alec tasted the despair he had heard in Logan's murmurings; things Logan insisted he didn't remember. 

Alec dropped his face in his hands. 

_God damn it, Logan._ _Why?_

Head reeling, throat working to get around the lump lodged in it, Alec didn't hear Logan's chair inching towards the bedroom. By the time the door cracked open, Alec was too exhausted to pull his face out of his hands.

"Please tell me you're not naked in her—"

Logan stood (and wasn't that a fucking joke) at the doorway. Alec felt the weight of his stare on him. But Alec still couldn't get himself to lift his head up.

The fact Logan didn't ask what was wrong only added to the list of clues. He could hear Logan drawing in an unsteady breath but offered nothing else.

The wheelchair tentatively rolled closer. It stopped short of touching Alec's knees.

"How long?" Alec croaked. He raised his heavy head at last. He locked gazes with Logan's dull eyes.

"How long could you feel your legs?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I've moved my whining to Tumblr so it's not clogging up the space here meant for fic. Any new updates and progress reports will show up there, instead.
> 
> Link: [Tumblr](http://d8rkmessngr.tumblr.com/)


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions attempted suicide, self-harm and depression. Research barely dented the emotional depth of the pain one suffers so please do not take this warning lightly. If this may be triggery, skip it. 
> 
> Spoilers: mentions the earlier part of Book 2. Some dialogue from "I Am and a Camera" were adapted to this universe.

"How long?" 

At first, Logan didn't look like he was going to answer. His hands curled tighter around the hand rails. 

"A short time after the hospital."

"After—" Alec stared. "But that was over—"

"I know," Logan interrupted harshly. His hands gripped his thighs. He took a breath in before continuing.

"It started out with a cramp or two." Logan's hands curled and uncurled around his knees. "I started to feel whether the shower was too hot or too cold without testing it with my hands first, but I didn't try moving them until—"

"The cemetery." Alec tasted bile in his throat. "You kicked your chair back to give yourself enough time to draw your weapons."

Logan nodded, his face twisted. He looked unhappy. It would have made more sense if it was guilt.

Alec swiped a hand across his mouth. "And a few nights ago, you were on the keyboard, trying to save your network. There wasn't enough time to roll back without…" He breathed out sharply. The gratitude Alec felt from the close call crumbled. 

"Logan…" Alec stared at Logan in disbelief. "All this time, this whole time, you could have been…"

"It lasted four months," Logan cut in. "After Max's transfusion."

Alec gaped at Logan. "Four—"

Logan's hands clawed his knees now. His pants legs gathered up within his white knuckled fists. "Then I spent the next four weeks fighting to keep it any way I can." Logan's breathing hitched. 

"Nothing worked."

Alec's legs felt like they lacked strength. He wanted to go over to Logan. He wanted to clutch Logan's hand and let it ground him because this didn't feel like it was happening. He stared at Logan, unsure if his next words would offer comfort or mockery.

"It…it was four months," Alec tried. 

"Alec, when I was told I would never walk again, I adapted. I adjusted because there was no point to mourn what would never come back. I dealt with it. But the moment I stood up from the chair, I..." Logan bit his lower lip.

"Never again, I thought. I was never going back to that chair. And I thought it would last. Then one day, I rolled out of bed and found myself on the floor." Logan's voice cracked. He set his jaw. When he continued, his voice was steadier. 

"Bling found me still on the floor when he came in an hour later." Logan breathed out harshly. "A few weeks after that, I was back in the chair and I..." 

Alec reached over and pried Logan's hand from his leg. He squeezed the hand he held.

"Max left," Alec said. He grimaced inwardly at Logan's wince. "Maybe you needed another transfusion? Maybe—"

" _Maybe_ ," Logan cut in. There was a shaky, thick quality to his voice that killed the rest of what Alec was going to say. "Maybe, Alec. Maybe it'll work. Maybe it won't. Maybe I'll walk for another four months. Or four weeks. Or four days. Or not at all."

"Why didn't you say anything to me?" Alec couldn't stop the hurt leaking through.

Logan's eyes slid away.

"I couldn't bring myself to tell you when I couldn't even admit it to myself," Logan said. Logan's voice grew quieter and quieter when Alec thought Logan would be shouting.

Alec stared at the thick carpet beneath him. He gulped, but the knot in his throat wouldn't go away.

"I should have said something," Logan said. "It had nothing to do with you why I didn't."

"How much sensation are you feeling right now?" Alec caught Logan's eyes drifting to his lap. They snapped away before they could linger. 

Alec's mouth went dry. "Oh. I guess whenever we…you know." 

It was a strange feeling; suddenly awkward about sex. Alec didn't think it could ever happen, yet here he was, mimicking Logan.

Alec ran his tongue across his lower lip. He cleared his throat.

"What…what about below? You said you could feel temperature changes now. And you can at least move your legs in a kick. Have you felt any other changes?"

Logan pressed his mouth together. He shook his head.

"That's okay. There are things we could do. We'll do some blood work with Doc. We could try—"

"No."

Alec stopped. "What?"

Logan's head bent low, his bangs falling forward to cloak his eyes. But Alec knew he was staring at his legs.

"Just…just leave it." Logan started to rub his hands up and down his thighs. He stopped halfway and pulled them away. 

" _Leave it_?" Alec was the one raising his voice. "You're going to sit in your chair and wait until— _shit_ , when you said it'll pass, you were talking about this." 

Alec sprang up from the bed. He paced in front of Logan's chair. 

If only Logan protested or denied it, but he offered silence and it was worse. He sounded dull as if he was exhausted from a fight Alec knew nothing about. Logan sounded weary, spent, he sounded like…

Alec halted in his tracks.

"I was right the first time, wasn't I?"

_"You planning on shooting me with that gun or eating it yourself?"_

Logan's head hung low to his chest. He started laughing. 

Alec froze. He tried to breathe through the vise squeezing his chest. His mind went blank.

Logan abruptly stopped. He gulped, stifling the rest that was gradually growing hysterical.

"It had been weeks with no word from Bling, no word about anyone else who could help." Red rimmed eyes stared at Alec. "I woke up that morning and realized I couldn't do this anymore. Especially not at the cost of anyone else's life. I tried to…readjust. But…Staying out of that wheelchair mattered more to me than anything else in my life."

Alec gaped at Logan. He knew his mouth was open. He was rooted to the spot.

"I wasn't going to live my life like that," Logan whispered, almost to himself. 

Before Alec could say anything, Logan chuckled humorlessly. The hairs on the back of Alec's neck rose.

"I tried once before, you know. Sat there in front of my computer with my gun and felt…" Logan frowned mildly to himself. "Actually, I don't remember what I was feeling at the time. Tired? No. Numb. I felt numb." 

Logan scrubbed his face with his hands. When he pulled his hands away, he appeared smaller, weary and lost.

"There was this drip. From the ceiling." Logan shrugged. "A leak from the unit above me."

"Mrs. Moreno," Alec croaked. At Logan's startled look, Alec fumbled.

"You mentioned she fell once." 

Logan nodded. His eyes were distant as they fell on his legs.

"A few weeks later," Logan's expression twisted. "I found myself with my gun again and this…this asshole breaks into my penthouse just as I was about to…" He laughed brokenly. "What are the odds? I mean, what are the chances—"

Logan grunted when Alec abruptly wrapped his arms around him. Logan stiffened at first. Then he sagged, his body collapsing into Alec. Logan dropped his face to Alec's neck.

Alec held Logan, as tight as he could, _tighter,_ so he would be too busy to think about the fact it was a damn fluke. A fucking game of _Eenie meenie minie moe_ and a random spur of the moment greed. It was what steered Alec to Logan's window, into the dark penthouse and maybe minutes, _seconds_ bef—

"Logan…" Alec mentally flailed to find the words. "Logan…"

A crumbly sound tickled Alec's ear.

"I can't do this again." Logan's shaking felt like it would rip him out of Alec's arms. 

"It'll be okay." Alec hung on.

Logan feebly pulled away. "To have it only to lose it?"

"You don't know that for sure," Alec insisted.

Alec tugged the wheelchair closer to the bed despite Logan's protests. Logan reluctantly transferred over. 

"We'll figure out what to try next. We'll figure out how my blood is repairing the damage. Sebastian's a smart guy. Doc Carr, too." Alec tucked Logan to him.

"I can't, Alec. I _can't_."

" _We_ can," Alec said fiercely into Logan's ear. "Even if you can't be sure of anything else. Be sure of this. You're not doing this alone."

Logan was a stiff tangle of limbs in Alec's embrace. After heaving a sigh, Logan shuddered. His limbs lost their tension and he sagged into Alec's hold.

"This is good. It is. We can't ignore this," Alec murmured. "We know what you did last time. We'll look for other ways." He peppered Logan's hair and cheeks with small kisses. He gripped Logan's shoulders and gave them a careful shake. 

Alec tucked Logan's face under his chin. He thought about his blood coursing throughout Logan's body fixing and repairing. He hugged Logan as he buried his face into Logan's hair.

"You're getting out of that chair."

Logan laid stock still in Alec's arms. He said nothing. A moment later, he slowly lifted his hands up and clutched Alec's arms. He breathed harshly, his exhales dampening Alec's shirt. He lay shaking and not-crying as Alec repeated over again that it was good.

Alec couldn't understand why Logan didn't seem to agree.

 

 

_"Don't you have something better to do than sit in the dark with a gun?"_

_"I was afraid if I said 'Put your hands up,' you might drop the vase. It is very old, you know."_

_"Speaking of old. You're not. You don't look like someone who collects art."_

_"You don’t seem like an art aficionado either. Good taste, though. It's a classic baroque representation."_

_"Perfect then. It's Baroque and so am I."_

 

 

Alec cautiously opened his eyes. He blinked blearily at the back of Logan's head. His hands were linked over Logan's stomach. His nose was tucked behind Logan's ear. Their legs braided together, ankles touching. It felt normal. They did this every morning.

And yet everything felt different now.

Alec sensed the subtle changes; changes he realized he should have noticed before. 

It was a joke Logan and Alec often shared about Logan's chilled feet. Despite how much Alec enjoyed the sensation of Logan's body lined up with his, Logan's toes were a different matter. The first touch was always a shock, like jumping into a pool filled with ice water. He had enough of that from Lydecker's version of a pop quiz: how long could his customized X5s stay in a pool cold enough to ice over in a few minutes?

Right now though, Logan's toes were warm points tucked between Alec's feet. Alec experimented pressing his big toe under the arch of Logan's foot. It automatically flexed. It was a minute movement, barely noticeable unless someone was looking for it, but it was as startling as if Logan suddenly kicked him in the shins.

Unmoving legs meant there were times Alec woke up to the uncomfortable sensation of being jabbed by a knee. Even curled into each other, Alec sometimes found they had shifted in their sleep and Logan contorted awkwardly underneath Alec. A knee would get bent painfully to the extreme, or a foot trapped somewhere where it shouldn't. Alec often quietly, careful not to jostle Logan awake, repositioned the other to something more comfortable even if Logan couldn't feel it.

Then there were bad days when unused muscles spasmed for no reason, leaving Logan with gnarled limbs and an aching back. Alec hated waking up to those: to find Logan frowning in his sleep, feeling discomfort but unable to discern why.

The supple back against Alec's chest was slouched. It was relaxed in a way that suggested Logan had squirmed and wiggled into a more comfortable position, unaided and in his sleep. Long legs were no longer sandwiched between Alec's legs to prevent rollovers. They were flushed to Alec's lap.

Alec closed his eyes. He tilted his head into the pillow. He heard the bedside clock _tick tock_ away the morning. He felt the downy leg hairs brushing over his calves. He felt the grittiness at the corners of his eyes; Logan was emotionally spent last night. His eyes, though, remained dry. Alec was surprised and yet not. And the realization left an ache in his throat.

A long, thin exhale escaped between Alec's teeth. It ruffled the back of Logan's head, stirring dark brown locks to reveal the occasional strands of gold.

Alec studied Logan. It's only been a few minutes yet it felt like an eternity. His tongue swiped across his lower lip.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Alec whispered.

Logan didn't react to Alec knowing he was awake the entire time. He tentatively touched Alec's hands over his abdomen. He breathed out slowly.

"I'm not sur—No." Logan's hands slipped away.

"No," Logan said with a tinge of regret. "I wouldn't have."

Alec dropped his forehead onto Logan's nape. He closed his eyes to the feel of wayward strands of hair tickling his eyelids.

"Okay," Alec breathed out finally.

Logan tensed. "Okay? That's it? Just…okay?"

Alec pulled his arms away. He reached over out of habit for Logan's shoulder to steady him. At the last minute, he stopped himself. He watched Logan roll onto his back with a few grunts. He set his jaw to rein in words bubbling up his throat as Logan hauled himself up. 

"You know what?" Alec said before he could stop himself, "No, it's not okay." Alec lurched off the bed. He paced. He stopped. He paced again. He abruptly spun around on his heels.

Logan sat up against the headboard. He looked resigned.

It was the resignation that stilled Alec. He lifted a hand to card it through his hair. He stopped short. He stared at Logan. Logan gazed back, unflinching.

"You don't know it's going to go away," Alec said. He hurriedly added as soon as Logan opened his mouth. "And yes, I know. No way to know if it's staying either."

Logan's mouth snapped shut.

Alec rested a knee on the edge of the bed as he leaned in towards Logan.

"What you know for sure is you can walk. Now." Alec placed a hand on his own chest. "Maybe my blood is different? Maybe you'll react differently? I'm not Max."

"No," Logan murmured. He smiled faintly. "You're definitely not Max."

Alec sat closer until his knee brushed against Logan's leg.

"Then you know I'm not going to blaze out on you even if this doesn't stick." Alec cast a pleading look at Logan. "Max didn't stay, but I will."

Logan's brow furrowed. "Max had no choice."

Something writhed inside Alec when Logan defended the guy. But Alec knew he needed to pick his battles. 

"Well I do," Alec said, unable to stamp out the irritation in his voice. "And I'm choosing to stay." 

Something flitted across Logan's face.

"As for you," Alec murmured. He eased down close to Logan. "I think you should take the chance you have here to get out there and enjoy it while—"

"Enjoy it?" Logan repeated in disbelief. " _Enjoy_ it? Alec, this isn't some hobby or a piece of dessert, it's my _life_."

"Is it?" Alec challenged, "Because you're not out there living it." He held up a hand when Logan appeared about to protest. " _Eyes Only_ doesn't count."

"I never wanted this," Logan croaked. He glowered at his legs. "I'm finally at the point I thought I could be happy despite—Alec, you, us…I didn't think it was ever possible and yet…" He closed his eyes.

"It was more than I could ever want, but this?" Logan gestured angrily at his legs. He shifted and his left knee slightly bent in reflex. His face twisted; his breathing stuttered. "I didn't want this."

"Should I be apologizing?" Alec asked evenly. "After all, I was the one who stuck you with my blood."

Logan's head shot up. 

"What?" Logan stared wide-eyed at Alec. "You didn't do this on purpose."

"When you say 'this,'" Alec bit out, "You meant the blood, not the saving your life part, right?"

Logan shook his head.

"Or are you pissed I did that, too?"

"No! I'm not—"

Alec felt the well of emotions churning in him. "Then, what? Logan, you can walk! You can get out of that chair and—"

"Lose it again in a few months."

"You don't know that!" Alec shouted. God, it was like hearing a broken record. "This is your chance! If I were you—"

"But you're not, are you?" Logan shot back. "You've never been locked in this chair, trying to convince yourself you're going to be fine—"

"Oh yeah, you're doing a _great_ job telling yourself that right now!"

Logan set his jaw. Alec was grateful Logan didn't try to deny it. He was pretty sure things would have gotten worse.

Alec wanted to say something more, but what the hell could he say that he hasn't already? He shuffled closer to Logan until their shoulders touched. He felt the rough, dry patch on Logan's elbow. He felt the roundness of Logan's thigh against his leg.

Logan never felt so far away.

"So that's it?" Alec croaked. It's weird how he wanted to say something, yet his voice felt like he already did. "You were just going to give up?"

"It's not giving up." 

It would be easier to hear if Logan didn't sound so damn calm about it. 

"Bullshit," Alec snapped. " _Letting it pass_ sure as hell sounded like giving up."

"It's being realistic." Logan breathed out wearily. It sounded like how he looked. He stared at the wall in front of the bed, but not at the dresser, just the god damn wall like it was some fricking TelePrompTer, telling Logan what to say and feel.

Alec wanted to break down the wall with his bare hands.

Instead, Alec rose back to his feet.

Logan stared at him; he appeared tired and unsurprised.

"I'm sorry," Logan said. He really did look sorry, as if whatever he was doing (or not doing) was slipping a knife between Alec's ribs, not Logan's.

Alec gingerly sat back down on the edge of the bed. He slipped a hand over Logan's thigh and squeezed. 

Logan flinched. 

"You can feel this," Alec murmured. It was an asshole move; Alec regretted it as soon as he did it. He caught Logan glancing down at Alec's hand. "Be honest with yourself: are you really _fine_ about not feeling this? Is it _okay_ to ignore this?"

Despair contorted Logan's face. His eyes hastily slid away.

The frustration knotting Alec's insides evaporated. His shoulders drooped. He pulled his hand back.

"Look at me," Alec pleaded.

Logan dragged his gaze away from the nothingness he stared at. Dull hazel eyes met Alec's.

"Let me help you," Alec murmured. "You have a good chance of being cured. We should take that chance."

A shadow flitted over Logan's expression. His eyes dropped.

Alec breathed out slowly. He sat next to Logan, his elbows on his knees. He stared at his feet. He flexed and watched his toes curl into the carpet. He tried to imagine not ever feeling the thick strands between his toes. 

"You can't sit there and do nothing," Alec said. "You can't sit there and tell yourself everything will be fine once it _passes_."

"I'm not sitting here and doing nothing," Logan said wearily, "I'm moving on."

Alec swallowed. The walls loomed over him. Blood pounded in his ears. It felt like he forgotten a dose even though Logan reminded him to take the tryptophan yesterday. His mouth felt gummy, dry and empty of the words to say. All was left inside Alec was "why" and he didn't think he wanted to hear the reason anymore.

"I'm going to get some air," Alec said with a calm he didn't feel. 

Something flickered across Logan's face. His brow knitted as he studied Alec.

"Go piss off some bad guys." Alec stroked Logan's temples with a knuckle. "I'll bring back a pizza for dinner later." 

Alec splayed his palm over Logan's heart. The steady beat told him at least Logan wasn't giving up on that for now. He smoothed a small circle around Logan's heart. He hoped it was enough to cast a spell telling Logan to stay. He levered off the bed. His eyes blurred. His body ached. His heart hurt.

Logan watched Alec step out of the bedroom. He didn't call him back.

 

 

"You did it, Heather."

Alec zeroed in on Gilbert Neal as the police led him away in cuffs. He stood on the rooftop across from _Cale Industries'_ corporate headquarters. 

_Cale Industries_ looked like it was under siege. The glass structure, once a tribute to corporate elitism, now looked fragile under the onslaught of camera lights and reporters struggling to stand by its logo as they filmed for full dramatic impact. 

Alec watched, unaided by scope or binoculars, unbothered by the height, as reporters swarmed the disgraced CEO. It was a feeding frenzy with Neal as the chum.

A grim smile curved on Alec's lips. Logan had been busy. Three new hacks about Neal since Alec prowled the streets. Business as usual for _Eyes Only_ ; neither rain, snow or sunshine, _Eyes Only_ 's work never ends.

"One bad guy down," Alec murmured, "Only a shit load more to go."

The wind swirled around Alec as he stood waiting and watching. But nothing charged towards Alec. It felt anticlimactic; he thought Neal's arrest would trumpet in more emotions for Alec. Right now, he only felt numb. 

Alec's mouth flattened. He observed Neal shoved gracelessly into a police car. He tracked the car and noted who followed it. It appeared to be only reporters; no Reds trailed after Neal.

The sun has started to peer over the horizon; an orange sliver of daylight. It painted the city golden. Everything now looked new, cleansed, gleaming with promise.

Alec felt like the daybreak just showed him its middle finger.

"Right back at you," Alec muttered under his breath. 

Alec shot the milling reporters a grimace before he got off the roof.

 

 

"This is a record even for you."

Alec shrugged. He lightly shook his fist loose as he considered the Steelhead chop shop he came across. 

Matt Sung studied the floor littered with moaning and groaning Steelheads.

"They were rude to me," Alec grumbled. He laced his fingers together and drew them high above his head. He snapped his elbows straight and flexed his hands backwards until he felt the satisfying _pop_ of knuckles realigning.

Matt glanced up at Alec's outstretched arms. He winced.

"How did you get _seven_ Steelheads to be rude to you?"

Alec's shoulders lifted. "It's a gift."

"Apparently." Matt watched as one Steelhead stumbled to his feet. The jaw plated asshole seemed happy to get into the police van. The guy practically threw himself in it.

Alec snorted as another dangling from a hole in the wall whined he needed an ambulance. Yeah, well maybe the guy shouldn't have been stealing prosthetics from hospitals. Alec took offense to that. Hell, he took offense to the way the Steelhead _breathed_. 

"You okay?"

Alec looked over. Matt studied him with a furrowed brow.

"Sure." Alec patted his jacket pocket and the obvious bulge of bills. "I'm _great_ , man."

Matt rolled his eyes. He muttered under his breath as he shook his head. He shot Alec another frown.

Alec bristled under the searching look. 

"What?"

"You haven't harassed the Steelheads in a while."

Alec gave Matt a beatific smile.

"Is it harassing if they were asking for it?"

Matt pursed his lips.

Alec threw up his hands. "Whatever. Today felt like a day to beat down on some scumbag Steelheads, all right?"

"Uh huh."

"I mean, they were standing there, not letting Sketchy pass. He had a hot run! I wasn't going to let one of my boys miss a hot run because they wouldn't pay the toll." Alec glowered at the van filled with metal plated extortionists.

"Of course you weren't."

"And this black market prosthetics business? What the hell? I mean, they're taking them off people still wearing them! That's just so gross to think about. It's unsanitary. It's not cool. It's—"

"…Illegal?"

Alec's mouth snapped shut.

Inside the police wagon, one of the Steelheads plaintively asked why they weren't leaving yet. 

Matt dropped a hand on Alec's shoulder. Alec stared at it. 

"You okay?" Matt repeated quietly.

Alec grunted. "Sure."

"Is it Lo—"

"No," Alec gritted out. "He's fine. I'm fine. Everybody's fine."

Matt's mouth pressed thin. He gave Alec's shoulder a squeeze before slipping his hands into his pockets.

One of the officers led the leader of the Steelhead gang away. The asshole complained loudly, but when they passed Matt and Alec, the thug paled underneath his steel plated skull cap. He hurried towards the van. The officer had to jog to keep up.

"Saw Phil last night. Went to check on him after he came back from whatever he was doing," Matt murmured. "He's looking better than the last time I spoke with him. Whatever you said helped."

"Glad _someone's_ listening," Alec muttered. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Matt frowning his way again. He kept his gaze fixed on the boxy dark blue van full of arrests.

"I saw the _Eyes Only_ hacks on Gilbert Neal," Matt said unexpectedly.

Alec grunted. "Number eleven was the winner. Er, by the way, there might be some reports of rob—never mind, they would never admit they had them in the first place."

Matt pursed his mouth. He shook his head and focused on scribbling in his tiny notebook.

"Got some damning evidence from the DA's office too." Matt flipped his notebook shut. 

Alec scoffed. "Saw you guys swoop in to make the arrest just before. The sun hadn't completely come up yet. The guy didn't even have a chance to drink his latte. What did you do? Park outside his fancy office every day until the DA gave the nod?" 

Matt held a small, private smile. He shrugged, neither confirming nor denying.

"Jonas Cale will resurface with Neal out of the picture now." Matt gave Alec a sideways look. "I guess this means you and Logan are finish—"

"Not yet," Alec cut in before Matt could continue. His stomach churned at the thought of Logan back in the penthouse, hunched in his chair, knocking his legs into his desk while he pretended all he needed was to fix up a broken world. Logan was hurting himself inside by doing nothing. Outside, there was still the possibility of a Red targeting his back. Alec's head ached when he thought of how many wanted to hurt Logan. Including Logan himself.

"No," Alec murmured. "This is far from over."

 

 

The motorcycle thrummed under Alec as he revved up to chase the next tight turn. It was a part of the sector a post-Pulse world forgot: not enough people occupied the concrete shambles of this area to warrant the government to send in police or even gravel to fix the roads. It was mostly roads, shaped by the abandoned vehicles on the sidelines and the forgotten buildings left to crumble into debris.

No one gave a damn on who lived or died here.

It was here. Here, as the cracked roads unfurl under his bike, without the crunch of bone to occupy him, Alec finally let his thoughts fully rise to the surface. 

Logan sat in the chair for weeks. He pretended he was okay even as the rest of his body began to feel every inch of the chair he voluntarily stayed in. Alec thought Logan was okay, because _Logan_ said he was okay. Logan looked at Alec and told him he was fine or will be. _Will be?_ Since when did forcing himself to stay in the chair counted as a "will be?"

Alec gritted his teeth. He hunched over his dash as he zipped towards the next turn.

Logan said to let it pass. He sounded desperate for all of it to go away. He sounded so certain it would. 

_"Don't you want to know for sure?"_

_"No...not really."_

_"You're scared."_

_"I am."_

The clues stacked behind Alec's eyes. They had always been there. Why didn't he realize sooner? His head throbbed as he thought of all those weeks they could have been doing something, _anything_ to get Logan out of the chair. 

Bits of asphalt spat and scratched Alec's cheek as he sped up. Alec should slow down. He was going to wipe out, but he couldn't bring himself to care. As the corner drew closer too quickly, Alec wrenched the gears forward, pumped the pedals and leaned towards the turn's opposite direction.

Wheels squealed. Smoke poured out of the rear as the cycle struggled to negotiate power with stability. 

The axis started vibrating under him. Alec twisted the handlebar gears again.

The engine block coughed.

Alec jerked the gears forward some more.

Logan should be happy. Alec didn't get why Logan wasn't. He didn't get why Logan wouldn't tell him at least. Logan lay in his arms, tucked within Alec's arms so he wouldn't fall. Logan let Alec hold him as if he still needed help. They spent weeks as if Logan had no choice but stay in the chair. They adapted so they could…He didn't get it.

_"I don't dream either. Not anymore. It feels pointless to."_

Suddenly, the corner was _there_.

Brakes shrieked. Rubber exploded off the rear wheel. The cycle tipped sideways and skidded.

Alec felt the shoulder of his jacket shred, the heat of the friction burning against the suddenly exposed skin. There was a brief moment when he considered leaning into that destructive heat before he wrenched away, tucked his shoulder in and rolled.

There was a sense of déjà vu when his bike sat briefly on his legs. He gave the cycle a swift kick. He rolled in the opposite direction of his bike. Whining high pitched in his ears, the motorcycle tumbled until it slammed into a nearby dumpster and stopped.

Alec came to a stop against the sidewalk. He ended up facedown. He didn't bother getting up.

Smoke from the wrecked bike rose. Everything looked dreamlike now, unreal because all this bullshit couldn't be real because it didn't make sense. 

Panting, Alec stared at the pockmarked asphalt. A feeling swelled in his chest, pushed up his throat and squirmed to get out between his clenched teeth.

"Fuck," Alec bit out. He thumped a fist on the road. He barely felt it. He hit it again. And again. And agai—

" _ **Fuck**_!" Alec howled at the moon rising as the sun sank into dusk. He stayed there on his belly. He smelled spilled fuel on the road and he thought of the hours he waited on the gas line to get enough to fill half a tank. It was so pointless. It was a waste. It was a complete waste; the gas was out on the road like blood from a slit wrist. 

Alec rested his forehead on the road. He took a deep breath. It didn't help. So he took another. The jagged red edges in his vision retreated and left him drained.

Far away, a car honked. A siren split the night air. Someone yelled, cursing for no particular reason.

Alec slowly pushed off the blacktop. 

Swaying, Alec stood in the middle of the road. His eyes felt swollen, gritty and hot. He glanced over to the wreck of his bike. He could only feel a thin thread of regret towards it. 

After one more look at his surroundings, Alec limped away.

 

 

A mug of jasmine tea greeted Alec when the door opened.

Alec stared at it dumbly. Then he dragged his eyes upwards.

Original Cindy gazed back. There was little expression on her face. 

"He's not going to try," Alec rasped.

The mug faltered in midair.

Alec ran a hand through his hair. "He's going to sit there and wait and I want to pull him off that chair but I get that's a dick move, you know? But how could he—I mean, why didn't he at least tell me, we could have…" He stared down at his boots. He wasn't sure why he walked eight miles to babble at Original Cindy.

"Are you leaving him?"

Alec's head shot up. "What? No!"

Cindy's eyes softened. Her red lips curled at the corners.

"Then how about Original Cindy cleans you up before you go back? You're going to freak your boy out if he sees you like this."

Alec stared blankly down at himself. The blood streaked jeans and torn jacket barely hanging off his shoulders at last registered.

"Oh," Alec managed.

Cindy snorted.

"And take the damn tea. Original Cindy's arm is tired."

 

 

It was a good thing he wore underwear today.

Alec sat in his boxers with a purple and red floral patterned blanket over his lap. Cindy said she didn't want his nasty man thing swinging around in front of her. He plucked the gaudy yet surprisingly warm coverlet, finally feeling the shivers he didn't know he had faded away.

The television showed some weird foreign drama about a man who wasn't a man but couldn't remember he wasn't a he and—whatever. It was bizarre and unbelievable. Yet it made better sense than the shit going on in Alec's life right now.

Alec stared at the tiny television. He couldn't remember where he got it from. Cindy's set broke; he got her a new one. Its origins were never questioned although Cindy had shot him an exasperated look when he also offered her the DVD player and a box full of lesbian porn disks.

Cindy kept the player.

Sketchy traded Alec a nice pair of padded grip gloves for the porn. When Cindy found out, she ragged on the lanky messenger for weeks. But hey, Logan's palms no longer stung being rubbed raw from the hand rails.

Next to Alec, Original Cindy tsked as she stitched up the left sleeve of Alec's jacket. Luckily Alec had opted to wear the thing. Accelerated healing or not; road rash sucks.

The mug of tea Alec wrapped his scraped hands around was cold even before he showed up. 

Alec's brow furrowed. "How did you know I was coming?" He was startled to hear the raspy quality of his voice. How long has he been bitching to Cindy?

Cindy glanced up. Her needle paused in midair. "Matt Sung called." 

"Oh." Alec blinked at his tiny reflection in the mug.

"He also told Original Cindy your ride is in the shop. He'll let you know when you can get it back."

Alec's shoulders drooped under Cindy's scrutiny. He hurriedly took a long draught of tea.

"Great," Alec managed. Inwardly, he cringed. He could only imagine Matt's reaction when he came upon his bike—Shit, he probably called Logan. As if things couldn't get any worse. He glanced mournfully at his jeans drying on a rack by the heater Cindy set up. The denim's jeans were ripped at the knees. No matter how skilled Original Cindy was with a needle and thread, he knew there was no way to repair those. At least the jacket could be salvaged.

"Some things can't be fixed that easy."

Alec blearily looked over. Original Cindy was studying his jacket critically; a silver sewing needle gripped in her hand. 

"No shit," Alec mumbled. He stared into his tea. He watched a lone tea leaf bob up and down the amber brew.

"Can't fix something that doesn't want to be fixed. Sometimes things just stay broken."

"He's not broken," Alec snapped. Tea slopped over the edges of the mug and dribbled down his wrists.

Cindy cast an arched eyebrow at him. "Original Cindy was talking about your jeans, but okay. Whatever."

Alec bristled. 

"You and yourself and I know what we're really talking about here." Alec tipped the mug enough so the tea leaf would float to the center. It drifted away as soon as he righted it. There was a strange urge to throw the mug, but Cindy would be pissed if he does that.

"Original Cindy was talking about your jeans."

Alec's nostrils flared. "Original Cindy just listened to Alec talk about Logan and what an idiot he is so you want to tell me again how it's all about my clothes?"

Cindy pursed her lips.

Alec gulped. He lowered his eyes back to his mug.

"Sorry," Alec mumbled. 

Cindy heaved a sigh. She stretched out a foot and nudged his ankle. 

Alec blinked at the pricking in the corners of his eyes.

"He doesn't have to be. You know. Broken." Alec sipped the tea. He made a face, but it wasn't because the flowery tea had cooled to a bitter brew. "I don't get why he doesn't want to try. There are a few things we can try to keep this. He has a chance to walk again."

"He did before." Cindy was blunt. "After Max left."

Alec grimaced.

"Then it went away. Just like Ma—"

"Are you taking his side or mine?" Alec demanded. He set the mug down on the crate between them before he really did throw it.

Original Cindy's eyes were dark. 

"Original Cindy doesn't take sides."

Alec scoffed weakly. "That's funny coming from you, considering…" He gestured towards her with a wave. 

Cindy set the jacket down on her lap. The bean bag under her creaked.

"Original Cindy thinks he's a fool. Always did, but he's a fool for a good reason." At Alec's snort, Cindy sighed. 

"He's been burned before. Twice if you count Bling. You think he wants a third?"

"But I won't leav—"

"You met him in that chair, but never when he was out of it. What happens when he gets back in it?"

Alec stared at Cindy. "He's still Logan."

Cindy arched an eyebrow. 

"He is!" Alec narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm not going to treat him different."

"You already are." Cindy gestured overall to Alec. "You're making plans on how to fix him."

"I was just…" Alec's mouth snapped shut.

Cindy folded her arms in front of her and waited.

Alec's stomach dropped.

"Shit," Alec bleated. "But that doesn't mean I thought he was…there's nothing wrong with him. Nothing. I only thought this was a great chance for us."

"Why?" Cindy said bluntly. " _Us_? Original Cindy doesn't see what it's got to do with you."

Alec gaped. "Me? We're…I mean, he…"

"It's his legs. It's his life," Cindy said gently. It was a tone Alec never heard before. "He's scared, boo, in a way no one else can understand except him. He's afraid of losing his legs again."

"You don't know that'll happen."

"And how you know that it won't?"

"You _are_ taking his side." Alec scowled at the floor.

An arm slipped around Alec's shoulders. Cindy gazed back with warm brown eyes.

"Maybe you should, too," Cindy murmured, "Until you can get him to see _yours_."

 

 

The window was open.

Alec knew the window would be. Still, seeing the pane pushed all the way, the alarm off, Alec felt weak-kneed. He gripped the sill with both hands. He rested his forehead on the threshold before he slackened the line enough to swing in.

Logan watched him from his workstation. The computer wasn't turned on. He tracked Alec, his face deliberately blank.

The distance between the windows to the office must have stretched after Alec left. It was why it felt like it took longer to reach Logan under cloudy hazel eyes and the growing pressure in Alec's chest.

A flicker crossed Logan's eyes as Alec drew near, but his expression remained unchanged. Even his hands were lax on his lap.

"I uh…forgot to get the pizza." 

Logan's expression didn't change.

Alec's hand drifted up to the back of his neck. He studied the carpet. When he glanced up, he realized Logan was still watching him with a blank expression. It didn't sit right in his gut. 

With a jolt, Alec realized Logan was bracing for the first strike; he wasn't going to do anything to defend himself. 

Alec grimaced. "You never had a chance to choose any of this, did you?"

Logan's eyes widened a fraction. Whether because Alec spoke or the question itself, it wasn't clear. His eyes dulled. He smiled; it only made him look tired.

"I chose to accept this is my life now." Logan absently brushed a palm down a hand rail. "It took a long time, but I dealt with it. I moved o—No, I haven't moved on." He met Alec's gaze. "But I've finally learned that I'll be okay when I do move on."

Logan took a deep breath and let it out in a _whoosh_ before adding, "And I chose you."

Alec tentatively crossed the remaining distance. He dropped a hand on Logan's shoulder. 

"I'm sorry," Alec whispered. "I'd been under the radar for so long. I take things as soon as I can get them because I never know when it could be my last chance. Every day was possibly my last day of freedom. So when you…" He took a deep breath. "But this is not about me. This is your life, your choice." 

Alec crouched down by Logan's knee. He closed his eyes briefly as he felt Logan touch the back of his nape with hesitant fingers. What he wanted to say, to plea, to argue, fled under the skittish gesture. Alec leaned his head back, bumping against Logan's hand.

The tapered fingers settled fully over Alec's barcode.

"I'm sorry, too." Logan squeezed Alec's nape. "I get what you've been saying. This reprieve…I suppose it's a gift—"

"It's only one if you see it as one." Alec tipped his head towards Logan. "Do you? What do you see?"

Logan's eyes were suspiciously bright. The shadows under them looked like bruises.

"What do you see?" Alec repeated, hushed.

Logan's Adam's apple bobbed as he blinked rapidly. He remained dry-eyed.

"A joke." 

Something pressed down on Alec's heart. He inched closer to Logan. 

"Oh," Alec uttered. "I guess it's not a very funny one."

Logan's hand felt cold over Alec's nape. Nevertheless, Alec leaned back into the touch. Cool fingers gave his bar code a light caress. 

"Not particularly, no." Logan smiled humorlessly. His eyes were so bleak it hurt to look at them. "In fact, it almost feels cruel."

Alec's throat worked. "I wasn't trying to…I mean, at the time, I didn't think it was going to…"

Logan brushed his palm over the tattoo again. Alec quieted.

"You were trying to save my life," Logan murmured. There was blame in the words; it still made Alec feel a lump lodged in his throat.

Logan exhaled slowly. "It just feels like…" He shook his head. "This false hope? Any minute it'll all be taken back and…" 

A vise squeezed around Alec's chest. He wanted to—he wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He wasn't sure what he _can_ do to peel the rasp away from the words. Logan's reply dug in bone deep. 

Logan gave a short laugh. "I'm Tantalus."

Alec knew the reference. His throat worked at the image of Logan reaching, forever reaching for water, only to have it pull away. 

"I know I'm not making sense. You probably think I'm crazy."

"Sh." Alec leaned in and tucked Logan's head and shoulders against him. He curled his arms around Logan. It felt like Logan's soul fractured; the shards were splintering away. 

Alec squeezed tighter; he willed his arms to gather the pieces vibrating off Logan. Alec pulled all of it, all of Logan to his body.

Logan stilled, stiff and unsure. 

"I don't think you're crazy," Alec murmured. "I get it, sweetheart. All I'm asking is that you at least try, but not because I want it. Only if you want it. If it gets to be too much, we'll…we'll stop. It's your call."

A quiet broken sound slipped out of Logan and it felt like the whole of him collapsed into Alec. 

Alec simply held on.

 

 

Hands undressed each other. Hands traced each other's bodies, relearning what they thought was charted before. Mouths carefully brushed to taste, not devour.

Alec and Logan silently fitted around each other with a familiarity that always left Alec in awe. It felt natural; it felt impossibly right. Yet it felt fragile in the silence right now. Neither spoke a word. It would shatter the peace that hung over them. 

The covers slipped down to their entangled legs as Alec took Logan on his side. Alec rocked into Logan slowly, swaying into the heat of Logan's body. He didn't need to support Logan from rolling away; his hands caressed the long lines of flank, his other hand cradled Logan's cock with care.

When Logan's thighs quivered after Alec came inside him, neither mentioned it. When Alec changed the angle of his thrusts, Logan turned his face to the pillow to muffle his gasps. When Alec palmed the back of Logan's knee, neither commented on how Logan's cock quickly filled.

When Logan came, it was wordless, soundless, his body trembling with its release. But Alec heard the sob rattling in the other's chest. It settled painful in Alec's belly.

Alec stopping moving; his erection softened but remained inside Logan. He pulled Logan closer until Logan's shoulder blades were sharp against his chest. He kissed the back of Logan's neck. He threw a leg over Logan's, wrapped arms around Logan's chest. He clutched Logan, burrowed deeper into him and wrapped almost too tight around him. 

"I'm right here," Alec whispered.

Logan, caught within Alec's grasp in every way, reached up and held onto Alec's wrists. He didn't let go, even as he sank into a restless sleep.

Alec closed his eyes. He counted Logan's breath, but it took a long time before he could follow Logan into slumber. 

 

 

"I'm sorry."

Alec rubbed his cheek on Logan's nape. 

"Sorry about your legs or sorry I found out about it?" Alec kissed Logan's ear. He wasn't surprised that Logan was awake before Alec. He supposed Logan was afraid to dream these days. Or remember. Maybe it was why Alec often found himself holding a quiet Logan unmoving like a rabbit paralyzed under a predator's eye, pretending he was asleep.

Logan took a deep breath. His hands pulled away from Alec's clasped over his stomach.

"Both," Logan admitted. His voice was unsteady. 

Alec massaged small circles over Logan's stomach. 

"I'm sorry, too."

"Why?" Logan asked. "What could you possibly be sorry about?"

Alec ran his fingers through the dusting of chest hair.

"I'm sorry you had to go it alone before. I'm sorry we didn't meet earlier."

Logan gripped Alec's wrists.

"And I'm sorry I can't give you a guarantee." Alec found it easier to talk to Logan this way. He didn't want to see the self-loathing and bone-deep weariness anymore. "I'm sorry my blood isn't good enough to promise you anything more than a maybe."

Logan turned with some effort until he faced Alec. His eyes were dark and serious as he leaned into Alec's space. Logan gripped the back of Alec's neck, pulling him closer. 

"If anything is not good enough, it's me, all right?" Logan rested his forehead on Alec's chin. Alec dropped a light kiss to Logan's hair. 

"This…" Logan laughed bitterly. "This is supposed to be a good thing. I know. It should be—I'm supposed to feel grateful, glad, but I…I felt this way before. I don't know how to describe how it felt to be back in the chair after believing this was it."

"You were mad," Alec murmured. "Like 'why the hell I was stupid enough to feel like that in the first place?' You felt like things were finally going your way, like everything you suffered before was paid in full. You felt happy. You felt…normal. But…" But then Rachel got in the car. She left 494 with his pleas stuck in his throat. The sting of her palm across his cheek burned almost as bright as the explosion. He had placed it in the engine. He was supposed to place it closer to tank. If he did, death would have been instantaneous. Death would have been preferable to the lingering wasting of her body. 

"If you never felt it in the first place, you never would have lost it." Alec buried his face in Logan's hair. "So you're pissed. At yourself. At everything. But mostly at yourself."

She had lain there, day after day, unhearing. She hadn't reacted when he snuck in and cried on her chest when he finally realized what the warm feeling in his chest was. By then it was too late. He wished he never felt it because the prospect of never feeling it again hurt. He almost returned to Manticore. Psy-Ops resetting him was tempting. But he didn't want to forget her or how soft her lips felt against his. So when her father told 494 to run, 494 ran.

Logan slipped his arms around Alec and said nothing. 

Alec swallowed. The room expanded around him as clarity sank in. He locked eyes with Logan.

"I get it," Alec whispered. "I really do."

Logan's arms tightened around Alec.

"So what now?" Logan whispered. 

Alec's mouth twisted. "Shouldn't I be asking you?" He cupped Logan's jaw. "I get why you don't want to see this as good. I don't agree, but I do get it. It's your call."

Logan grimaced. "You're taking this well. I lied to you."

Alec closed his eyes briefly. 

"Yeah, you did," Alec said, "And I'll be lying too if I said it didn't hurt, but…" He rubbed his thumb under Logan's lower lip. "We'll talk about it later, all right? What do you want to do about this now?"

"What if I said I want to let it pass?"

Alec swallowed. 

"If…" Alec managed, "If that's what you want."

Logan studied Alec. Their noses almost touched. Alec held his breath. He wanted to tell Logan they needed to fight this. They needed to grab hold of the chance and run with it. 

"I'll…I'll try but give me time."

Alec blinked, taken aback. Something bright flared in his chest.

"I want to first focus on Jonas and Neal and the Reds and—"

"All right," Alec soothed.

Logan made a face. "There's a possibility I already missed my chance."

"Then we do a little sexy blood swapping again."

"Sexy blood swapping?" Logan repeated.

Alec made munching noises on the junction of Logan's throat.

Logan wearily snorted. He half heartedly shoved Alec's shoulder.

"Okay, okay," Alec relented. He slipped a hand on the small of Logan's back before Logan could roll. He squirmed closer. He rubbed noses with Logan.

"Take your time," Alec murmured. "I'm in no hurry to go anywhere."

Logan dropped his head onto Alec's shoulder and whispered "Thank you."

 

 

"No."

Alec felt Logan's glower as he continued talking on the phone without pause as if Alec's veto never interrupted. Alec replied with a glare of his own, because no. Like, _hell, no_.

"If my uncle is sincere about testifying against Neal, _Eyes Only_ is willing to step in and provide a safe house. You're right, Matt, we don't know how many cops are on Neal's payroll and we don't want to risk them if the Reds attack. He could stay with m—"

" _No_." Alec loomed into Logan's view. He didn't crouch down to eye level. He knew that was an asshole move, but he was not letting Logan house the son-of-a-bitch in Logan's, no, _their_ apartment.

Logan's hazel eyes were almost forest green when they narrowed up towards Alec. 

"Matt," Logan said easily. "I'll call you back." 

"No way is that bastard stepping foot in here," Alec seethed as soon as Logan ended the call. "Let him sweat it out with Seattle's finest."

Logan screwed up his face. "We don't know if there are any cops in—"

"Most likely yes, but you know what? _I don't care._ "

Logan sighed. "Alec—"

"He tried to _kill you_."

"Technically, it was a hoverdrone—"

"Whatever!" Alec paced in front of Logan. He spun on his heels and crouched down in front of Logan.

"Look, I get he's your uncle and you're feeling...family loyalty or whatever. Kudos to him for stepping forward to be a witness." Even if it was to get a lighter sentence. 

Alec grabbed Logan's hands and squeezed.

"But he also had a part in your attack. I know you said it was most likely Neal, but...You stick him here in our place and I can't guarantee I won't go all trial, judge and jury on his wrinkled ass."

Logan blinked. He looked down at his captured hands. He looked back up at Alec. 

"How about this," Logan murmured, "I'll get some of _Eyes Only's_ people to watch him in one of the properties I got to use for safehouses. We need to keep him out of sight in case the Reds are still under Neal's contract for this."

Alec scowled. "We have got to find their weak spot. Sebastian's pretty certain he could mimic the frequency of that kill switch in their heads."

Logan looked pained. "The idea we can kill them all with a flip of a switch..."

"I know it's not an ideal _Eyes Only_ solution, but we need to be realistic." Alec shrugged. "As awesome as I am, even I have to admit that taking them down is hard."

"Which is why you're not guarding Jonas."

Alec felt a twist in his gut. "Your guys are not equipped for them."

"They are going to be so hidden, not even you can't find them. Or Jonas."

Alec canted his head. "Where are you putting him?"

Logan grimaced. "I think it's better if I'm the only one who knows."

"I wouldn't tell anyone," Alec said, hurt.

Logan's thumb skimmed over Alec's lower lip. "I know you wouldn't, but you're also known to the Reds now, which means you're a target. If they catch wind you're involved with the safehouse, everyone you know will be collateral damage."

Alec's hands clawed Logan's knees. He couldn't even risk sending Phil to check on those idiots at _Jam Pony_. He snuck into Original Cindy's place and stuck a Post-It on her forehead while she slept. But that was the only communication he dared to make. And Logan kept brewing the jasmine tea wrong. And he still owed Sketchy for the beer. And—

Logan abruptly jerked. His left foot spasmed and kicked Alec in the skin.

"Sorry." Alec stared down at his fingers digging into Logan's legs. He rubbed circles over Logan's thighs.

"Don't," Logan said, strained.

Alec pulled his hands away.

Silence hung between them.

"You..." Alec cleared his throat. He hated how Logan flinched, bracing for what Alec _should_ say. 

"You're a target too."

It was clear Logan expected something else. He stared at Alec, taken aback. He recovered and smiled crookedly. 

"My properties are under shell corporations which are under my mother's maiden name," Logan said. "I paid for all of them in cash. Their permits were later...misplaced. In the land of paperwork, these places don't exist. Nothing leads back to me, _Eyes Only_ or any of my people." 

Logan's smile held a bitter quality to it.

"I'm invisible."

Alec leaned in and dropped a kiss on Logan's brow.

"Not to me, you're not." Alec rocked back on his heels. "All right, so you delegate saving the world and we what?"

"We go off the grid until the grand jury is over." Logan made a face. "Once Jonas testifies and it's on record, there's no reason to want him dead." 

"That means no hacks for you either."

Logan frowned.

"Hey, all this _'it cannot be traced'_ spiel is asking for your hacks _to_ be traced. Neal is cornered now. He's going to pull all the stops to find you, your uncle and anything that might get him convicted." Alec nodded past his shoulder to the computers. "Vacation time for _Eyes Only_."

"There are rumors of a cartel—"

"Nope."

"Five shipments of illegally obtained—"

"Get Matt to looky loo."

Logan sucked in his breath. "I can't stop everything, Alec. Jonas was just one problem. There's so much we need to fix."

Alec curled his hands around Logan's wrists. The pulse beating rapidly under Alec's fingers felt frantic. 

"Do they have to be fixed _now_?" Alec asked. "Do you have to try and do everything now?"

Logan swallowed.

Alec swept his thumb across the back of Logan's hand. 

"The world's already screwed up," Alec murmured. "It can stay broken for a little while longer."

Hands curled inside Alec's loose grip. 

"You can take a break." Alec massaged the hands he held. His fingers dug into the fleshy part of Logan's palms. "Keeping busy is not the solution here, babe."

Logan's hands twitched. 

Alec sighed. "Look, it's only for a short time. Extra security precautions, all right? You don't do anything that can lead back to you. I'll only go out to check on our guys. No jobs, no _Jam Pony_ , not even saying 'Howdy' to a Steelhead."

Leaning in, Alec peered up at Logan. "You like to stay busy, I know. Busy means less gloomy broody for you, but it's hard to fix a broken world if you yourself are in pieces. You gotta keep safe otherwise all this work is going to be for nothing."

"Fine," Logan muttered. He rolled his eyes when Alec ruffled his hair.

"Good Heather, let's give Matt a call back."

Logan didn't reach for his phone, though. He looked at Alec. A moment later, his ears tipped pink.

"What?"

" _Our_ place?"

"Um..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I've moved my whining to Tumblr so it's not clogging up the space here meant for fic. Any new updates and progress reports will show up there, instead.
> 
> Link: [Tumblr](http://d8rkmessngr.tumblr.com/)


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains parallel dialogue from "I Am and A Camera", "Rising" and "Red". Some scenes mention or describe depression. Please be advised.

"Probation!"

Lettuce spewed from Phil's mouth, gaping with outrage.

Alec wildly flapped his hands to ward off the leafy shrapnel. 

Matt grimaced and leaned back. He looked like he wanted to move to the next table except the other tables were cluttered with strips of drying film.

"Don't spit on the messenger." Alec wanted to pull his cap off and give Phil a few good whacks with it, but the backwards cap covered his bar code and his black dyed hair. Even though they were inside Phil's lair, Alec kept feeling like he could hear the whine of a hoverdrone on his six. Despite not seeing his reflection, the disguise felt strange.

"This is a miscarriage of justice!"

"Dude," Alec hissed. He glanced around. He imagined Phil's outrage bouncing off the walls, sending echoes out to all of Seattle like radar.

Phil was foaming lettuce and guacamole at the mouth as his indignation rose.

"Criminals sullied our streets, trading in their crimes for cooperation! We…"

Alec shot Matt an exasperated look.

Matt, his eyes on his food, reached over a hand. He smacked Phil Original Cindy style on the back of his head. It didn't look the same, but it was still effective.

Phil dammed up his verbal diarrhea by shoving the rest of his burrito into his mouth. Phil looked like a cross-eyed hamster now but at least it was a mute hamster.

"That's what Jonas Cale wanted in return for his testimony." Matt eyed his burrito with suspicion. It had been Phil's turn to choose lunch. It was no surprise Phil chose Carl's Macho Tacos again. They couldn't risk meeting at Matt's usual spots; he was the arresting officer on record.

Alec grimaced. "Our fearless leader wasn't too happy when he heard either." It could also have been because Alec mistakenly parked Logan's chair too far away from the bed again.

"Cale wouldn't come out of hiding if the DA didn't agree. His testimony was key."

"Do we have enough evidence without Cale?" Phil wanted to know. "Is _Eyes Only_ going to investigate further?"

Alec set his jaw. Even though they had both agreed to go off grid, Logan was restless. Logan did his exercise, way more than he should. He alphabetized all the folders that sat on the dining table. Twice. Alec caught Logan rubbing his hands up and down his thighs, eyes distant as they stared at his computer. Then rousing and it was back to hacking and stacking and smacking muscles into submission.

"We have enough for an indictment, but it might not be enough for a conviction." Matt finally ventured a bite of his burrito. He stopped.

"It's new," Phil jumped in with a proud grin. "Carl's pickled herring and cheese. With his special sauce. Good, huh?"

Matt set the lumpy roll down gingerly as if it were a live bomb.

Alec rolled his eyes. He finished his already because wasting food was never his MO.

"The guy is essential," Alec concluded before Phil jumped back into his vigilante indignation again.

Matt grimly nodded. "And he knows it. This is his best bargaining chip. Him plus the evidence the DA received will cinched the case."

Alec muttered under his breath. Right now, he knew Jonas Cale was going to whatever hole to hide in. Logan promised he would coordinate the transport from the safety of their penthouse. Nevertheless, something inside twitched at the thought of Logan doing his _Eyes Only_ business without him.

"...with him."

Alec glanced up to find Phil and Matt looking at him expectantly. He fidgeted when he realized he missed Matt's question.

"What?" Alec asked blankly.

Matt's brow knitted. "I said I thought you would be with Logan right now."

Alec's face shadowed. "Yeah, well, I wanted to see where the Reds might be hiding out. That's why I'm in disguise. They know what I look like. Recon only, though. Working at _Jam Pony_ right now is too risky." 

Phil pulled a long face. Luckily he didn't offer any weepy words of support, but the downcast look said enough already that it made Alec squirm. 

"Too bad," Matt remarked. "You've been working there a while."

"Whatever." Alec shrugged. He wondered if Skeev ever asked out Leila from the first shift. He wanted to know if Normal's crazy idea about a penalty for delivering hot runs late ever panned out. Sketchy was probably still riding his bike on premises just so Normal could bellow.

A hand dropped on Alec's shoulder. It was gone by the time Alec glanced over.

Matt seemed intensely focused on removing every bit of herring out of his burrito.

"Even with a disguise though, it might not be enough to stay out from the Reds' radar." Matt frowned at his meal. "Maybe you should think about staying put as well." 

Phil cast a look at Alec, his brow furrowed. "I think so too."

"Yeah." Alec made a face. 

"I'm surprised Logan actually took a break from Eyes Only." Matt studied Alec. "How did you get him to agree to that?"

Alec lifted his shoulders briefly. 

"He didn't at first," Alec hedged. There had been a lot of yelling but Alec suspected most of it was more due to the fact Logan tried to set his feet down from bed this morning and almost collapsed. Logan covered up the near miss, thinking Alec was asleep. The fact Logan felt like attempting it only when he thought Alec wasn't looking had hurt. So when Logan argued about remaining behind and it escalated to yelling, Alec yelled back. 

The shouting had petered off into an awkward silence afterwards. The weight of it crawled up Alec's back. He hated the stuttered farewells they exchanged before he left. It left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth; not even Phil's weird burritos got rid of it.

"He's okay with it," Alec added lamely. He herded the ribbons of lettuce that escaped his burrito into a small pile on his wax paper.

Matt's eyebrows rose. "All right," he said slowly. 

Logan didn't hide the fact he was also worried about Alec out there alone. He insisted Alec check in every ten minutes otherwise he was going out after Alec. Alec's stomach flip flopped at the thought of Logan charging to his rescue, double holsters, grim, his broad shoulders tensed in readiness, his eyes— 

"I wonder what Original Cindy's doing right now?" Phil mused out loud. 

Alec shook out of his daze. He shared a look with Matt.

"Um," Alec started. "Dude…"

"I wanted to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?" Alec's insides twisted. "Your mom."

Phil nodded. "I thought it would be better to tell her everything in person. When I called, she..." Brown eyes grew moist. "She asked me to come home."

"That's great," Alec managed. 

Matt smiled broadly and patted Phil on the back. 

"She missed her son," Matt told Phil.

Phil ducked his head. The lens on his hat flopped forward, nearly braining him. 

"I hope I can be of assistance again upon my return."

Alec blinked. "You're coming back?" 

Phil's face fell. "Didn't you want me to come back?"

At Phil's crestfallen expression, Alec hastily added, "Of course, man. Seattle needs their champions _Street Sweeper_ and _Justice_."

"We'll be waiting," Matt put in. "We're a team." He looked over to Alec.

A funny feeling wiggled in Alec's gut. This wasn't his platoon. Logan was definitely nothing like his CO Lydecker. Yet when he considered the two before him, the word 'team' rang right in his ears.

"Sure," Alec said slowly. Out of the corner of his eye, Matt smiled. 

Alec tested the words in his head. It was weird how it sounded so weird months ago, yet it settled in his chest warm now. "We're a team."

Phil puffed up. Crap, he looked like he was going to clamor over and give Alec one of those crushing hugs; weird hat, flappy coat and all.

Alec inched away as discretely as he could.

Next to Alec, Matt stiffened.

"Wait a second... _Justice_?"

 

 

Alec was caught.

When Alec turned around after he had nudged the files to the center of the dining table, Logan was watching him with a pursed mouth.

"Geez!" Alec splayed a hand over his chest. "Wear a bell or at least stop oiling your wheels!" He shrugged towards the lopsided furniture. "We need a new table."

Logan looked like he wanted to say something, but after a beat, he shook his head. The wheelchair made a squeaky about-face and rolled to the office. 

Alec stared Logan's retreating back. He glanced back at the dining table, wobbly because reattaching its leg wasn't enough to fix it. Throat working, Alec moved the files back towards the edge within reach like before. He crossed to the office, his shoulders slumped.

"Figured we needed room on the table for dinner. The files also looked like they were going to tip over," Alec mumbled once he reached Logan's side. He reached out, but stopped before he could slip a hand over the other's shoulder.

Logan pulled his glasses off. He looked exposed without them, his face bleached by the monitor's glare. He exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

Alec winced at the weary sound. 

"Hey, talk to me." Alec studied Logan's profile. His stomach knotted at the small tightening at the corners of Logan's mouth.

Logan stared down at his keyboard. 

"The wheelchair moved every morning. The shower bench pushed back too far to reach the taps. Putting my laptop on the higher shelf. Alec…"

Logan's eyes met with Alec's reflection on the monitor. His gaze tore away. 

"You said it was my call," Logan said, low. Somehow, the lack of accusation in Logan's voice made it worse.

Alec exhaled. "It is. I wasn't…I thought…" He rubbed the back of his neck. 

"You thought what?"

Alec fidgeted. He stared at the rigid posture. 

Logan kept his eyes forward. "What are you doing, Alec?"

Alec shrugged. He shoved his hands in his pockets. 

"I wasn't trying to screw things up. I figured if you start small, try an—maybe your legs…" Alec mumbled. 

Logan studied Alec, his mouth set.

"You didn't use to be this manipulative," Logan said.

Alec flinched as if he was slapped. "I wasn't trying to manipulate you!"

Logan smiled thinly; he saw the joke Alec didn't. "Then what were you trying to do?"

Alec studied Logan's reflection on the monitor. He wished he could see Logan's expression instead of relying on Logan's even voice as a gauge. Logan's warped image looked like it was cloaked in shadow from Alec's angle. His skin prickled down his arms.

"I hate seeing you like this," Alec admitted.

"Like what?" Logan rasped.

Alec's shoulders lifted. His eyes traced the line of Logan's shoulders. He followed the slouch and his throat squeezed at the realization the posture was a familiar one. It was one he tried so hard to make sure it never showed up again. A bitter taste rose up Alec's throat. This was what failure tasted like: bitter, acrid in the back of his throat, souring as it rose to his mouth.

"Like the first time we met."

Logan stiffened.

Alec idly scratched a spot on his jeans. Logan's shadow cast up his thigh. He traced the edge with a finger.

"I thought I would make things easier," Alec confessed.

"By making things _harder_?" Logan asked in disbelief.

Alec winced. "When you put it that way…yeah." He wiped his suddenly sweaty palms on his jeans.

"I know you want me to try and I swear to God I am, but I-I…it might already be too late or it never worked or…" Logan rasped.

Alec's face twisted. "You already act like the battle's lost and I know, I know, it's how you get sometimes, but it seems like lately, you're like this all the time." He traced the outline of Logan's shadow cast on the denim. 

"I'm trying." Logan's shadow edged away from Alec's jeans. Gone, like it was never there. 

Something flared at the loss and if Alec took the time to think, he wouldn't have made a sound in the back of his throat. It sounded reed-thin. It sounded lost.

"You're trying too hard on the wrong things," Alec blurted out. He flinched at the higher octave his voice took.

"But I'm _trying_ ," Logan gritted out. 

"I know you've been testing yourself, but you always do it when you think I'm not watching—"

"I can't always put on a good show for you—"

Alec stared. "Show? I'm not asking you to give me a song and dance! I only want to be there when you do something!"

Logan breathed out harshly through his teeth. "I asked you to give me time. I wanted to do this on by own first in case…And you forcing me to—"

"I'm not trying to force you!"

"Are you sure?" Logan shot back. 

"I thought maybe it'll give you, I don't know, more of an incentive. You certainly weren't making the effort!"

"I haven't been sitting around and doing nothing—"

"How would I know? You make it like some big secret. I only wanted to give you more chances to try!"

"What ever happened to it being my choice? You of all people should know what it's like to have decisions taken out of your hands!"

The air around them fled.

"I…" The words died in Alec's mouth.

Logan swore under his breath. 

"Alec, I didn't mean…"

Alec heavily sat on the edge of the desk next to Logan's station. He scrubbed a hand down his face.

Logan stared up at Alec, his brow knitted.

"Oh," Alec breathed. His stomach dropped.

Logan shook his head. "I shouldn't have—"

"No, you're right. You're right. This is exactly what they…" Alec reached out for Logan but quickly snatched back his hand again. "Sorry. I'm an ass." He gulped. "I thought I was trying to help."

Logan didn't ask who _they_ were. 

"I was out of line." Logan touched Alec's closest knee. "I shouldn't have said what I said."

Alec shrugged. He nodded numbly.

"I mean it. I'm a little mixed up in the head right now. I didn't mean to imply you're like them. You are _nothing_ like them."

"I'm okay," Alec mumbled. He brushed fingertips across Logan's brow, ironing out the furrows. "Really."

Logan breathed out sharply. His shoulders sagged at whatever he saw on Alec's face. He closed his eyes and after a long moment, gripped his chair rails and pushed up.

Arms quivering, knees shaking, Logan planted his feet firmly on the floor. 

Alec held his breath. He forced himself not to reach for Logan, but it was hard. He shoved his fists in his pockets.

Body trembling with the effort, Logan shifted closer to the edge of the seat, leaned forward, his arms pushing up...

And he tumbled out of the chair. Logan collapsed onto his desk. His computer bleeped as his forearms slammed into the keyboard. Logan clung to his desk and it looked like he would push off from it, but when he tried, his knees buckled. He dropped hard by Alec's feet.

It happened too fast. One second, Logan was attempting to stand, the next he was crumpled on the floor.

"Shit!" Alec's knees throbbed when he dropped down next to Logan. He gripped a bowed shoulder. "Are you all right?"

Breathing harshly, Logan pulled himself sitting up. He twisted away Alec's hand and that hurt. But all Alec could do was remain crouched on the floor, his hand hovering hesitantly over Logan's shoulder even though it was refused.

Suddenly, Logan grabbed his wheelchair by its wheel and shoved it away. The chair skidded towards the kitchen. It tipped to the side and crashed with a loud _crunch_. It laid there, its left wheel spinning lazily in the air.

Alec closed his eyes briefly. "Maybe you only need to strengthen up the muscles before your—" At the wounded sound Logan made, Alec stopped.

Logan sat hunched over. His breathing was ragged. It hung between them like an accusation.

Alec wanted to stretch his arms around Logan, but he found he couldn't move. He could only sit there, crouched, listening to Logan trying to get his breathing under control.

"This," Logan croaked, "is why I wanted to do this alone because I can get…I'm not ready to let anyone else see me like this."

"This?" Alec parroted numbly.

"Failing." Logan pounded a fist on the floor. "Repeatedly."

Alec swallowed.

"I'm doing my best not to give up." Logan covered his eyes with a hand. "But you have to let me do this at my own pace. I'm not shutting you out. I just don't know how to do it any other way."

Alec wanted to say Logan did this with Bling. He was sure Max got a front row seat before the bastard ditched.

Logan lowered his hand. His red-rimmed eyes flicked to Alec. He smiled a brittle slit of the mouth.

"It's different with them," Logan said, apparently reading Alec's mind. "Don't ask me how. I…I can't bring myself to let you see me like this."

_Wheelchair guy._

Alec heard Logan's self-deprecating voice echoing in his head. He settled a hand on Logan's nape, mirroring what Logan always did for him.

"You never have to pretend with me," Alec murmured. 

Logan's face crumpled a little. Pain carved deep in the corners of his mouth.

"Funny." Logan grimaced. It was meant to be a smile. "Someone told me that once."

Alec steeled himself not to twitch, a knee jerk reaction to the _someone_ he knew Logan referred to.

"I'll tell you more than once," Alec said, "I'll tell you a thousand times until you believe it."

Logan blinked. The edges of his smile softened.

"You know," Logan whispered, "I'm starting to."

Alec nudged Logan forward, his hand covering Logan's nape.

Logan's hand slipped over Alec's bar code. 

Foreheads resting against each other, Alec breathed in and out. Logan copied him. When they fell into sync, Alec felt the tension thrumming under his skin smooth out. It reminded him they haven't done this in a while: their breaths falling into a pattern Alec let sink into his bones.

"Good," Alec murmured.

 

 

First thing Alec thought when he woke up was that he was late for work.

Second thing Alec thought was he wasn't.

Logan sat up against the headboard. He paused from his typing—huh, that usually woke him up—and glanced over.

Alec plopped himself up on his elbows. "Hey." His throat worked. He studied the smudges under Logan's eyes. "Morning."

"…Morning." 

Silence stretched.

Alec's stomach churned. Last night, they laid spooned in the dark. They both pretended to be asleep. They both pretended they didn't know it was a lie. They finally fell asleep for real in an hour Alec knew was both too late and too early.

"You, ah, slept okay?" Alec ventured.

Logan shrugged. He smiled tentatively. "Should I be worried you said 'Normal' in your sleep?" 

Alec scrunched up his face. "What? Ew, no!" He pursed his mouth in thought.

"Then again, he's kind of hot when he bellows 'bip, bip, bip' at us."

Logan lightly punched Alec in the shoulder. Alec flopped down on the bed with a dramatic wheeze, his arms flung out. 

And like that, the air lightened between them.

Alec grinned up at Logan. "Don't worry. He doesn't have that deep throaty porn voice like you, Heather."

Logan rolled his eyes. "I'm relieved."

Alec chuckled. "Actually, I thought I was late for work."

Chagrin flitted across Logan's face. Alec wished he didn't say anything.

"I mean," Alec fumbled, "Now I can sleep in. No more harping about 'no riding on premises.' I don't have to hear about another hot run again. And seriously, do you know how annoying it is every time Normal shrieks out 'hot run?' Sometimes I wanted to reach into that cag—"

"I'm sorry."

Alec studied Logan's hooded eyes.

"Are you keeping tally on how many 'I'm sorry' you've said?" Alec said quietly. "It's almost as many times you tell me 'I'm fine.'"

Logan turned his focus back on the laptop.

"I'll admit I miss those goofballs," Alec continued, "but you're right. Those amped up thugs know where I work—worked and if I show my face there..." He wnced. "I can't risk the guys." He sat up and bumped his shoulder with Logan's.

"Or you."

Logan glanced back, puzzled.

Alec plucked the soft sweatpants Logan wore because there were still nights Logan tried to carve out his misery on his legs. 

"I could lead those bastards back to you," Alec murmured. "If they're still under Neal's payroll, they might be gunning for you, too. If they're looking for a one stop DNA shop..."

"I could be collateral." Logan sounded too matter-of-fact about it.

" _Never_." Alec's hands bunched together. "Logan, I'll be in pieces before I let them even _look_ in your direction."

Logan set his laptop aside. He drew Alec to his chest. 

"You and your cuddling," Alec grumbled. His ears felt hot though when Logan chuckled.

"I'm not the one who drools on my chest after we..." Logan cleared his throat delicately. 

Without looking, Alec knew Logan was blushing again.

"Man," Alec complained halfheartedly. "Really? After all this time, you still can't say it without reacting like a twelve-year-old girl?" He threw his arm over Logan's lap. "We could make up a code word for it, _Eyes Only_ , if that will make you feel better."

"No, it wouldn't," Logan deadpanned, "I just can't think of us as 'fucking'."

Alec pressed his grimace into Logan's throat. "Not when you say it. What did I tell you about saying that word? It just sounds wrong coming from you, your Holiness."

" _Holiness?"_ Logan echoed. He chuckled. "Alec, I'm not a saint."

"Nooo, you're all sin, baby." Alec set aside Logan's laptop despite Logan's grumbling. He slipped his hand into Logan's waistline. He palmed the morning erection, already hot to the touch, stirring eagerly under Alec's rough pulls.

Logan groaned. His heart hammered under Alec's ear. He panted, his chest heaving as Alec jerked him off.

Alec's grip was damp with the pre-come beading Logan's dick. He kept his pace fast, sharp and unrelenting. He felt Logan's hips snapping up, desperate for more. Alec shoved his other hand down his boxers and matched the pace with his own erection.

The orgasms were simultaneous, but Alec didn't give Logan a chance to recover. He straddled Logan's legs and snaked his come slicked hand under Logan. He breached Logan with his fingers. He swallowed Logan's moan with his mouth crushing the other.

Like with the hand job, Alec's pace was almost a blur, forcing the sensations to sink beneath Logan's skin, so the other could feel it. 

As Logan bucked, his body clenched tight around Alec's fingers, his hands clawed Alec's arms to try and pull him closer. 

Alec tugged his boxers down his thighs. He almost tore off Logan's pants in his need to expose him. Logan's cock was pink and leaking. It bounced free of its confines, tapping manically over Logan's stomach.

With a growl, Alec slammed their bodies together. He felt Logan's sweat trickling over his chest. He felt the heat of Logan's erection scalding his. He lined their cocks together and wrapped his free hand around them both.

The reaction was instantaneous.

Logan, writhing under the dual sensations inside his body and outside, bucked underneath Alec. He came with a cry, his hands digging painfully into Alec's biceps.

As Logan trembled with the throes of his release, Alec ground his cock against Logan's, still quivering, thick white streams splattering between them. Alec rocked into Logan, crushing the other into the mattress.

Friction build the same time pressure increased behind Alec's eyes. Alec squeezed his eyes shut and snapped his pelvis towards Logan. He could hear the wet slap of their bodies. It spurned him on, his fingers twisting and darting inside Logan, his body slamming against Logan, his balls drawing tight and...

The bedroom and Logan's face blurred to white, pure white. Alec shouted as he came. He felt turned inside out. He collapsed over Logan's shuddering body.

Alec heard their gasping surrounding him. He kept his fingers inside Logan, languidly stroking the heat throbbing around the digits. He teased the small bump with his fingertips, crooking them so he could hear Logan's sob and feel Logan's body tightening around them.

Logan was still semi hard. Alec squirmed and felt Logan shudder when Alec's dick brushed over his.

"So sensitive today," Alec murmured. He pulled his fingers out. He kissed the corner of Logan's lips when they pursed unhappily at the loss. His damp fingers brushed over the thin skin surrounding the puckered hole.

Logan shivered.

"So beautifully sensitive," Alec cooed. "You were amazing. You came with only a touch." He dropped a trail of tiny kisses down Logan's torso. He nosed the coarse hair in Logan's groin before going lower. He nipped at the soft skin on Logan's inner thighs.

When Alec's mouth traveled back up to Logan's cock, the erection was gone. Above him, Logan's breathing was shallower and harsher.

Ice flooded Alec's limbs. His own erection waned. His stomach sank when he glanced up. Logan's face was turned towards the headboard; his eyes were screwed shut.

Alec pulled his hand out from under Logan, but he could tell Logan felt it as it slipped down the back of his thigh.

"I..." Alec wasn't sure what to say. "Maybe it'll stay. You said you kept some feeling after the transfusion, maybe—"

Logan shook his head jerkily. 

"Maybe?" Logan croaked. His expression was bleak.

Alec sagged. The afterglow tingling under his skin fled. He stayed straddled over Logan's legs. Now, the haze of sex dissipated, Alec felt Logan's legs flexing; muscles fighting to move along with Alec.

"All right," Alec murmured. He didn't look at the wheelchair by the nightstand on Logan's side. He didn't acknowledge it was new because Logan did irreparable damage to the other last night. He pulled Logan to him, wrapped his legs around Logan's middle. 

Logan wearily dropped his face into Alec's shoulder.

"All right," Alec repeated even though it wasn't. 

 

 

Alec wished he could get drunk.

"...make sure you take the second right turn. There's no cameras there..."

Logan was giving his people last minute instructions as they headed towards the next safe house after Jonas Cale met the DA in person.

"Everything's set up there," Logan continued, oblivious to Alec's turmoil next to him. "There's enough food and water for all of you. If he complains, ignore him."

Alec smirked. Poor Jonas Cale forced to eat off the shelf food like everybody else.

"Once the grand jury starts, we'll have a better idea how long we need to keep an eye on him." Logan's voice sharpened. "And under no circumstances is he to call anyone; not his wife, not his daughter-in-law. Tie him up if he attempts it."

Alec's brow furrowed when he caught the hard edge in Logan's tone. Hopefully Heather didn't decide to throw things again. He scrubbed his face wearily. Since that morning, it felt like they took three steps back. Lately, Logan went nuclear over the smallest things. This morning, it was the fact he knock his right shin on the nightstand and felt it. Now the bedroom looked oddly lopsided with only one lamp.

"My boss will be running a hack warning Neal he can't find Jonas Cale or the other witnesses."

" _My boss_ ," Alec mimicked with an eye roll thrown in. Uh huh. He got the need for secrecy but it irked him. _Eyes Only_ was doing the work and Logan was getting none of the credit.

A pen sailed over and bounced off Alec's shoulder.

Alec waved his hand over the couch in apology. He heard Logan as he wheeled by, his voice clipped as he continued.

The sun was high on the window, searing a golden line on Alec's outstretched legs. The sky, for once, looked clear, no rain lurked on Seattle's horizons.

Alec twitched at the thought of Logan on the phone. The seconds stretched and the thrumming under Alec's skin picked up the longer Logan stayed on the phone.

 _This is bullshit, 494._ Alec knew the phone was a better alternative than venturing out there. There was a target on Alec's back, which meant there was one on Logan's as well. Stepping outside meant they could be found.

Alec felt like he was playing Escape and Evade with Manticore again.

The similarities didn't sit well in Alec's gut. Alec grimaced. The longer Logan stayed on the phone, the more his insides screamed.

"Hang up," Alec muttered. He thought it was under his breath, but Logan paused. Logan smoothly ended the call. He tossed the handset over the couch and into Alec's lap.

"Ow," Alec whined. He scrambled up to stand on the cushions on his knees. "Bitch."

"I told you the line was secure." Logan frowned. He steered himself towards his computer.

Alec shrugged. "I know you said that, but—"

"But?" Logan's eyes narrowed. "You doubt I can—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Alec held up one hand and topped it with the other horizontally into the shape of a 'T'. "Time out! I was only being paranoid! Sorry!"

Logan's face twisted. He gave Alec a look that made Alec's chest clench.

"No, I'm the one who's sorry." Logan combed a hand through his hair. He sagged in the chair. "You didn't deserve that."

Alec shrugged. 

"No, Alec, you didn't." Logan steered for the couch. His chair came as close as it could, but the wheels bumped into the couch. Their knees met but Logan needed to lean forward to grip Alec's knees. "I'm just..." 

Logan gestured towards his head helplessly. Alec slid his hands over Logan's.

"Babe," Alec tried, "Maybe we should talk about what happened—"

"About the great sex we had because of the temporary cure running up my spine?" Logan spit out. "I told you, I didn't want to dwell on it."

"Well it's not working because you've been biting my head off since," Alec snapped. He ignored the dismay flitted across Logan's face. Otherwise, he would have backed off. 

"Yes, the sex was great," Alec said. Despite the anger boiling in his gut, he found his voice smoothed out to a quieter one. It was easy with the way Logan looked. Logan's face was pale; he looked like he was going to throw up.

"But the sex was already great before. Hell, amazing even." Alec stayed where he was. He wanted to reach over and touch Logan, but he held back. "This time, it was different."

"You mean more," Logan said bitterly. "Because I was able to feel more, because—"

"Because it was different," Alec finished in a firm voice. "We had a go, it was amazing, but if it doesn't happen again..." Alec smirked. 

"We have other ways, remember?"

The misery on Logan's face didn't leave. 

"Is that enough?" Logan murmured. He reached for Alec's hand; Alec gladly met him halfway. "To have this and next week, I could be..."

"Yes," Alec said. "You could be. But that also means we had these days." He tapped his temple. 

"Eidetic memory. Remember?" Alec waggled his eyebrows. "And I'm really adaptive. I am willing to explore all over again what makes you scream, Heather." He brushed a finger across Logan's lips. "And don't deny you're a screamer. Thank God for your soundproof walls."

"But is the memory enough?" Logan was determined to be a spoilsport. His eyes were cloudy. "Once it's gone—"

" _If_ it's gone." Alec held up a hand to stop Logan's usual argument. "I'm not agreeing or disagreeing, but if this does have an expiration date, shouldn't we live up every moment we have? Life sucks for everyone." He snapped his fingers. "And that's how fast it could end. Any chance we get, shouldn't we grab it?"

Logan considered Alec.

Alec arched an eyebrow in response to the intense scrutiny.

"In this short, brutal life, you've got to seize any opportunity you can to celebrate."

Alec's brow knitted together. "Huh?"

Logan smiled wearily. "Something I said once."

Alec reviewed the words. He nodded.

"I like it. I believe it." Alec reached out and touched Logan's jaw. "But you don't."

"I used to. Now…" Logan shook his head. "Once it's gone, we're never going to have this again."

Alec canted his head. "This? Babe, I thought we always have _this_. I don't think that will ever change."

Logan held Alec's hand. He appeared thoughtful.

 

 

"Strip poker?"

"No."

"Strip _chess_?"

"No!"

The last response, however, was barely understandable within Logan's chuckles.

Alec grinned goofily at Logan.

"What?" Logan regained his composure and went back to a yellowed paperback. It was a thick volume, charmingly old fashioned looking with its blue edged pages and dog-eared corners. It piqued Alec's interest until it dominated Logan's attention for the past two hours. Heather was ignoring Alec for Walt Whitman, what the hell?

"I missed this." Alec pressed his thumb at the corner of Logan's eye where a laugh line lingered.

Logan blinked.

"You. Laughing," Alec clarified. "It's been a while. Although..." He scowled halfheartedly. "It's at my expense."

"Your ideas were ridiculous," Logan told him.

"But I'm bored." Alec sprang up from the floor where he sat all morning. He dropped heavily in the couch next to Logan's outstretched legs.

"We agreed we stay out of sight until the grand jury was finished," Logan reminded Alec.

Alec made a face. He transferred Logan's feet to his lap so he could wiggle closer.

"I didn't think the grand jury was going to drag their collective asses this long," Alec admitted. "Or that Neal had three of them on his payroll." He slanted an admiring look at Logan.

"Good catch, _Eyes Only_."

Logan offered a modest shrug in return, downplaying the hours hunched over his computer after he broke into the _Cale Industries'_ personal servers again. Those weren't fun times. The whole time, Alec orbited Logan with a fire extinguisher. Logan made him go upstairs to watch a baseball game with Mrs. Moreno. She loved the game almost as much as hockey but her Korean was non-existent. 

"I'm still bored," Alec complained. "It's been two days. _Two_. They got squeaky clean new jurors!" 

Alec slipped a hand up Logan's pants. 

"Read a book." Logan stared deep into his damn poetry.

"Another book? I read everything here. There's nothing else. Unless…" Alec brightened. "Can I read your diary?"

Walt Whitman swatted the back of Alec's head.

Alec glowered at the offensive book that went back to hogging Logan's lap. He made a face as he continued tracing the shape of Logan's ankle with a finger. The pedal pulse was warm against the pads of his fingers. Alec stroked the Achilles' heel. 

"I guess the only thing left to do is molest you all day," Alec mock-sighed. He gave Logan's foot a squeeze. It flexed in response.

Logan stilled.

Alec's brow furrowed. He cast a look over to Logan. The other stared at Alec's hand snaked up his pants, midway around his calf. Logan swallowed convulsively.

"What?" Logan joked weakly, "Didn't you do that y-yesterday?"

Alec's hand pulled away. 

"Babe…"

Logan tucked the takeout receipt he was using as a bookmark into the last spot he read. He shut the book and smoothly transferred over to his nearby wheelchair.

"I'm going to do a few sets," Logan announced. He nodded towards the glass partitions that sectioned off his exercise area.

Alec stared at Logan's profile. It gave away nothing.

Alec leered half-heartedly. "I'll ah, join you."

Logan shot Alec a shaky smile. "Not the workout I have in mind." His chair rolled around the couch.

"Hey." 

Logan's wheelchair stopped behind the couch and Alec. Alec saw his reflection off the windows. 

"I'm always happy to molest you every day, you know that."

"Don't you get bored?" Logan said. He sounded only half kidding.

"Never," Alec said immediately.

The wheelchair creaked as it inched back and forward indecisively.

"Make you lunch later?" Alec offered. "We still got bread and sandwich stuff."

"Sandwich stuff? It doesn't include anchovies, does it?"

"It should." Alec tracked Logan as he approached the exercise area. Logan acted like he was drawing near to a sleeping snake.

"Logan," Alec called quietly.

The wheelchair halted.

Alec took a deep breath. "I'll be right out here, all right? If you want me in there, holler. I'm always for a little voyeurism." He wiggled his hand in the air. He waggled his brow up and down. "And other things. Keep the moaning and groaning at volume, Heather."

Logan glanced over his shoulder. His mouth tentatively curved up. He smiled, albeit tiredly. Logan made his escape into the exercise area. The partition slid shut.

Air rushed out of Alec. He sagged back into the couch and waited for Logan to come out.

 

 

Logan stopped making noises fifteen minutes ago.

Alec pulled his hand out of his boxers. He shook himself out of his haze. He wasn't kidding before; listening to Logan grunt and pant through his reps was the best soundtrack for, well, things. 

But Logan has been quiet for the past quarter of an hour.

Alec frowned. He padded to the bedroom to use the ensuite. Logan has a thing about washing their hands in the kitchen sink after any sort of naked activities. He switched to a pair of clean sweatpants as well. Heather can get downright pornographic when you least expected it.

Cleaned up, Alec headed back out into the living room. Alec's frown deepened. He canted his head. Nope. Still no sexually suggestive noises.

Throat working, Alec aimed for the exercise area down the hall. One of the glass partitions was pulled back to allow for some circulation and maybe to torture Alec. 

Alec released his breath when he spotted Logan's foot dangling over the elevated bench. As he drew closer, however, Alec realized Logan's other foot, partially hidden behind the partition, was pointed towards the floor.

Logan looked like he was caught in the act of dipping his toe in an imaginary pool of water. He stared at his right leg extended out towards the floor. His foot was trembling.

With a broken sound, Logan scooted closer to the edge of the bench; his right toe skimmed the floor.

The leg jerked as weight shifted to the shaking right foot.

Logan retreated fully back onto the bench, pulling both legs to hang over the edge. His arms trembled as they stayed rigid and straight on either side of Logan's body. From the gap between the partitions, Alec saw the white knuckled grip around the bench's safety rail. Logan's chin dropped to his chest. 

Alec retreated into the kitchen and stood over the sink. He set his arms on either side of the basin, unconsciously copying Logan's defeated posture. He blinked rapidly, unsure why his eyes burned when he didn't scorched the toast this time. (After turning bread into charcoal for the fifth time, Logan busted him down to only making coffee and ordering takeout.) 

The sink's stainless steel bottom offered a faint, shadowy reflection of Alec. He stared at the vague outline. He wondered why he didn't go in there like he initially wanted. He wished Logan stopped trying on his own.

The timid squeak of a tire tread drew Alec out of his reverie. He turned around, leaning back against the counter because his damn legs suddenly felt watery.

Logan stared up at Alec from his chair with miserable eyes.

"Yeah, I know," Alec murmured. There was no point denying he was there.

Logan shook his head. "Eased myself down but I felt…" He shook his head again.

Alec kneeled down in front of Logan. He cupped the back of Logan's head and guided it to his neck.

Logan didn't fight Alec. He leaned into Alec's embrace. He was motionless, so still. It was like holding something hollow with a veneer that was starting to crack.

"It's okay," Alec murmured. He acknowledged the attempt, the failure and the fear with a careful squeeze around Logan's nape. "You're fine. No matter what happens, we're fine."

Logan stayed in Alec's embrace and said nothing.

 

 

_"...bring this corrupt judge to justice..."_

Damn it.

Alec sprawled across every inch of the couch. It was a nice couch. It was a soft couch. 

_"...threatened the prosecutor's family to miscarriage justice..."_

Only problem was Logan wasn't in it.

It was day four of the deliberations. At least that's what it should have been. Neal seemed to be throwing every resource and calling every connection he had to taint the grand jury. They agreed it was safe to do a hack, exposing Neal's attempts to tamper with the trial. So while Jonas Cale stewed in an undisclosed location, Logan worked around the clock checking his sources, picking apart every juror's background. Logan looked exhausted. _Alec_ was tired just from watching Logan. Alec hoped channeling _Eyes Only_ would mean Logan will be too busy to hide out in the exercise area, only to emerge hours later with self loathing eyes.

Staying indoors this long was starting to grate, though. Alec knew Logan was comfortable cooped up in their penthouse. Alec, on the other hand, found himself pacing the roof every few hours in order to feel the sticky humidity and sun on his skin. It never lasted. Another itch always burrowed under Alec's skin moments later. After a few circuits around the roof, Alec would hurry back downstairs to Logan still hunched over his computer working around the clock.

Alec's brow knitted. His mouth tilted downward. 

Around the clock wasn't an exaggeration. Logan stooped over his computer until past midnight, all limbs and elbows when he clumsily transferred into bed at 0200. Then he was up before the sun was. Alec fell asleep to Logan's typing; he woke up to Logan's typing.

Logan finished up with his usual tag. Alec heard him sigh. Even that sounded exhausted, but it was infinitely better than the sound Logan makes after his latest failed attempt to stand on his own feet. 

"Neal's running out of people to bribe or blackmail," Alec quipped as Logan sagged back into his chair. Alec levered off the couch.

"He'll find more to spend the _Cale_ company funds on." Logan tapped a fist against his shoulder.

"Superheroing is such hard work," Alec tsked.

"I don't think that's a word." Logan stretched his arms high above his head.

Alec enjoyed the play of muscles across Logan's shoulders and how it made his cream pullover pull across his back.

"It should be," Alec continued, his eyes on the arch of Logan's spine. "Under 'superheroing' in the dictionary, your picture would be on it."

"I hope not," Logan remarked as he bent an arm behind his head. He groaned at the stretch. " _Eyes Only_ is only successful with anonymity." 

"Too bad, I was thinking we sell t-shirts."

Logan scoffed. 

Alec stopped behind Logan. He dropped his hands over Logan's shoulders. 

Logan breathed out shakily.

"Shit, you're tense," Alec muttered. He kneaded the muscle with the heels of his hands. 

Logan grunted.

Alec pressed in on one knot. Logan twitched.

"Maybe you need one of those vibrating things," Alec suggested, "You know, the one where you tuck behind your back and let it roll." He applied pressure to the round joints of Logan's shoulders, smoothing his palms down the biceps to the elbows.

"Or," Alec murmured, "Regular massages from _moi_ can do wonders."

To Alec's surprise, Logan shrugged his shoulders free from Alec's grip.

Alec sighed. He twisted around and sat at the edge of the table. He considered Logan.

Logan deflated further under the weight of Alec's scrutiny.

"You never had a problem with my massages before," Alec remarked casually, "Or what it leads to _after_."

Logan's face twisted. "It's the _after_ that worries me." He took off his thick spectacles—Alec still hasn't found a replacement—and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"If it's about last time," Alec said quietly, "I told you: we're okay without it. We were okay before." Something squirmed in his gut. "Weren't we?"

"We were." Logan smiled faintly. He waved towards himself. "I'm just...give me some time here. This is not an easy thing to get past, Alec." 

Alec ran a hand through his hair. He resisted grabbing fistfuls of hair.

"I'm trying to understand all of this. And I do...sort of. I get you're scar—"

"I'm being realistic."

"No, you're scared!" Alec shot back. He took a deep breath. He tamped down the urge to shout again. 

"I know what it looks like. I know what it's like to keep this 'I'm okay, you're okay' bullshit on twenty four seven for so long, you start believing it. Or you hope you will." Alec wanted to pace but he didn't want to break away from Logan's wide eyes.

"I know what it's like," Alec struggled. "To taste it. I was Out. Manticore was way too busy trying to catch their first AWOLs to bother with little old me. Yet."

Alec tapped two fingers on his head. "It was always in the back of my mind even as I was living it up in this crazy town. Each time I fucked, stole, ate or even decided on what shirt I was going to wear, I thought to myself: 'this is my choice, no one is ordering me'." 

Logan looked owlishly up at him despite the lack of fugly glasses. Logan tore his gaze away. 

"Then you understand why I don't want to... _enjoy_ this while it lasts, even the sex."

"No."

Logan's eyes snapped back towards Alec.

Alec crouched down so he was eye level with Logan.

"I really don't get it," Alec confessed. "If I were you, I would have been doing everything possible to experience everything I could for as long as I can."

Logan touched Alec's knee closest to him. A shadow flitted across his drawn face. His hand withdrew.

"But you're not me," Logan said. There was no recrimination in his voice; there was only defeat.

Alec dropped his forehead on Logan's knee. He knew Logan felt it because the leg underneath him shifted.

"And you're not me," Alec said. "So you can't be sure after all this, I'm going to take off if it doesn't stick. The sex…Chair or no chair; it's not a factor for me, not for us."

"I know you won't."

"Then why—"

"It was a dark place I fell into. Once all of this is gone, I'm worried I'll spiral back in. And the more I _enjoy_ this, the harder the drop will be. It hurt to be in that dark place, Alec. It _hurt_. To the point I thought it would have been easier if I took my gun and—"

Alec didn't want to hear it anymore. He surged up, his mouth covering Logan's. He swallowed the words he didn't want to hear. To have them out there felt like a prophesy and a gut wrenching reminder to Alec how much he wouldn't have if he never met Logan.

Logan kissed back at first hesitantly, then desperately. His hands scrabbled for a hold. He gasped under Alec's mouth. He kissed, not because he missed it. It felt like he was trying to crawl inside Alec to huddle against an incoming storm.

The two pulled apart abruptly. Too abruptly. Alec felt like someone tore Logan out of his arms.

The empty feeling spurred Alec's arms to shoot forward. He griped Logan's arms.

"I can't promise I'll always be able to stop you from going to that dark place," Alec said desperately, "But I swear I'll keep dragging you out of it."

Alec carefully shook Logan.

"If I have to tell you a thousand times; I will. If I have to pull you out of your hell a thousand times; I will."

Logan stared at Alec, his mouth slightly open. He swallowed hard and bowed his head. He clasped his hands around Alec's elbows. Alec held onto Logan's arms because the feeling of Logan ripped from him hasn't gone away.

"Sounds like I'll be keeping you busy," Logan joked weakly. 

Alec huffed out a laugh that sounded as Logan looked.

"You're lucky you're so god damn pretty, Heather." Alec tweaked Logan's chin. "Makes it all worth it." 

Logan tiredly scoffed. He buried his face into Alec's throat.

"Does it?" Logan rasped.

Alec dropped his face into Logan's hair.

"Hell, yeah."

 

 

The call came in the middle of the night.

Alec woke, reached over and slapped around for the phone. Last night was a pleasant haze he loathed to let go. He grumbled sleepily as he passed the phone to Logan before it fully registered he did. He blinked blearily as Logan rolled onto his back, his cell phone plastered to his ear.

"…are they all right? Can you—okay. We can be there in thirty minutes, but it's curfew, I'll need to get a pass for me and Alec. You sure? All right. In the morning then."

Logan very calmly set the phone on the nightstand. He pulled himself up to sit back against the headboard. Logan took a deep breath. 

Alec brushed his hand over the hickie he left on Logan's stomach last night. There was a matching mark under Logan's jaw. 

"Bad?" Alec murmured. He let his fingertips drift back and forth the marked abdomen until Logan relaxed.

Logan nodded. He looked over with a grimace.

"Someone attacked Sebastian's lab an hour ago."

Alec sat up. "What? Is he okay?"

"He's only shaken up. Anders took him to the hospital because they had damaged Sebastian's respirator." At Alec's look, Logan clarified, "Anders stays with Sebastian." 

Alec gritted his teeth. "The Reds?"

"From the way Sebastian described them, yes." Logan frowned to himself. "They were searching for something."

Alec scowled. "The implant. We gave Sebastian the implant. He was trying to find their frequency."

"Looks like they found Sebastian instead," Logan said grimly. "The implant's safe. They don't have it."

"The morgue." Alec sucked in his breath. "The body's back in PD's freezer after we got the implant for Sebastian—"

Logan was dialing Matt before Alec finished.

Alec's jaw clenched as he listened to Logan. The conversation was clipped, too short for Alec to piece together from Logan's end. He watched the furrow deepened the longer he spoke with Matt. When Logan ended the call, Logan's expression was grim.

"When?"

"Fourteen minutes ago. At the city morgue. Four dead, three wounded. The building is still burning. There could be more people inside. Matt is heading over there now," Logan reported. He stared at the phone in his hand.

The cell phone flew across and shattered on the wall.

Dismay quickly took over Logan's expression.

"I shouldn't have done that." Logan cradled his face with a hand. 

"I'll get you another," Alec said. 

"I don't know why the hell I did tha—"

"Babe, it's fine. Need me to check on Matt?" Alec frowned at Logan's head shake. "What about Sebastian?" 

"I should—"

"No, you shouldn't," Alec interrupted. "You shouldn't be doing anything. The minute you step—" Words stuttered. "The minute you're out that door, there are a thousand and one targets zeroing in on that cute ass of yours." 

Logan breathed out sharply.

Alec set his jaw. "I'll go."

Something flared in Logan's eyes. "Speaking of targets…"

"I'm a lot faster than you are." At Logan's barely discernible flinch, Alec continued. "It's not a wheelchair thing, unless you're telling me you've liked to scale buildings and lurk in sewers before all this."

Logan's jaw clenched.

"I've played Hide and Seek with much meaner guys with deeper pockets. A bunch of zombie assassins is nothing."

Alec shuffled closer. His shoulder knocked into Logan's. Logan didn't react.

"I get you want to check on your people, _Eyes Only_ ," Alec murmured. "And I'll do that. Hell, I want to check on those crazy kids in _Jam Pony_ and make sure Normal hasn't fired them all."

Logan closed his eyes briefly. His hands curled over his thighs.

Alec grabbed one hand. He massaged the fist until it loosened.

"Even if you weren't in the chair, I would have wanted you to stay put anyway. These Reds…" Alec smiled ruefully.

"Here I thought I was a freak of nature, but compared to them—"

"Don't." Logan turned the hand Alec held and wove through Alec's fingers. "You're not a freak of nature. You're Alec."

Alec dropped his head on Logan's shoulder. He absently worked the digits of Logan's hand.

"I always have to remind myself." At Logan's inquisitive sound, Alec added, "That I'm Alec. Not 494." He straightened up and hurriedly added before Logan could comment, "We need to secure the implant."

Logan studied Alec, his mouth pressed thin. He slowly nodded, the examining look fading from his expression. 

"Besides _Eyes Only's_ files, it's the only other piece of physical evidence we have left." Logan still looked unhappy, but he spurred on. "In the morning, you and Matt meet Sebastian in the hospital. Take them back to the lab and retrieve the implant. I'll arrange for Sebastian and Anders to stay in one of the safe houses for the time being." 

Logan's eyes narrowed as he calculated. "Grand jury should be done with Jonas in another two days. After which, Neal has no reason to kill him because his testimony's filed."

"From what it looks like," Alec noted, "those guys are pulling out. They're picking up their brass sort of speak." He darkened. "They're not working for Neal anymore."

Logan nodded. He set his jaw. "They're working for themselves."

Alec scowled. "You got to find a way to stop them. _We_ need to stop them."

"Without _Cale Industries_ bank rolling them, the Reds are without funds and possibly without technology." Logan sat back against the headboard. He wearily rubbed his forehead. "Doesn't make them any less dangerous."

"They're no longer pulling a paycheck. They only have to answer to themselves now." Alec folded his arms in front of him to keep them from reaching out. One guy throwing things was enough.

"Your uncle's testimony is in. He has no value dead or alive to anybody." The words sounded callous in Alec's ears but when he checked with Logan, the other only nodded with a sober look on his face. "No reason to stick around for that."

Alec reached over. He brushed a knuckle down Logan's side. He traced the ripple of muscle and ribs.

"Agree," Logan said. "They're not going to leave. Not when they know you're out there." He covered Alec's hand on his ribs. "They wouldn't have known about you if—"

Alec shook his head. "Don't. They found out about M—your friend. They would have found out about me the same way even if I never bounced around Seattle. I don't blame you. You know that."

Logan's mouth crinkled up.

"I do know," Logan murmured. "Doesn't make this any easier. And now Sebastian's hurt beca—"

"Is this another thing I need to tell you a thousand times?" Alec interrupted lightly. He twisted around. "Because I will, you know. You're not to blame." 

Alec held up a finger. "That's one. You're not to blame. That's two."

Logan pulled Alec's hand to his mouth. He kissed the palm. His breath was warm. Alec could feel the hint of a smile on the heel of his hand.

"Good," Alec said. He pulled down his hand and leaned in. He covered Logan's mouth with a quick kiss at the corner; even X5s weren't immune to morning breath. He touched Logan's rough jaw. The coarse stubble never ceased to fascinate him. 

Logan tilted his head back. He closed his eyes, but Alec knew he didn't fall back asleep. He slumped against Logan, pinning him to the headboard. He listened to Logan breathe. He let the sound fill his ears. He wanted to smooth a hand down Logan's leg. He thought that would be too cruel though; he opted tracing the bluish veins that ran up Logan's arm instead. 

"I don't know why I threw the phone," Logan whispered out of the blue.

Alec shrugged. He peered up. From his angle, he could see Logan's eyes were now a dull hazel staring out at everything, anything and nothing at all.

"Same reason why you threw the lamp last time," Alec said softly. He rubbed a circle over Logan's heart. The steady _thump-thump_ was reassuring even when Logan's weary tone wasn't.

"I don't know why I threw that either."

Alec bit his lower lip. He swept his hand across Logan's chest and said nothing.

Logan sighed. "No, I know why. I'm only embarrassed by the reason. Because there _was_ no reason, just me getting lost in my head again."

"It's fine," Alec murmured. "So long you didn't throw it at me."

Logan scoffed. It sounded suspiciously watery.

"I'm trying."

"Trying to throw it at me? You bitch. I'm hurt. The only way you can make this up to me is a disgusting amount of sex."

"You know what I mean." Logan snorted. His voice sounded clearer now.

Alec kissed the round joint of Logan's shoulder. Logan felt cool under his lips. He tugged the covers up to Logan's chest.

"I feel like I want, no, need to do everything and then there are times I want to do nothing at all. It's like I want to walk, yet I don't want to." Logan's short laugh hurt to hear. "And this case. My uncle. The Reds. Christ."

Alec kissed a spot over Logan's heart. He rested his head on Logan's chest. It wasn't enough to feel the faint flutter under his hand anymore.

"You're fine," Alec murmured. He hoped Logan heard the promise in it.

"Because of you." Logan brushed knuckles over Alec's nape. Alec squirmed closer.

Thank you," Logan said quietly. "I'm more than happy to tell _you_ that a thousand times."

Logan's heart tapped out the same; a Morse code only for Alec to hear.

Alec hummed. He stayed close listening to the quiet reassurances of Logan's heart. He blinked tiredly. He knew he needed to get up in a few hours and check on Sebastian, maybe Original Cindy as well because the guys there were magnets for trouble. But right now, he was content to lay by Logan and listened to a steady heartbeat and soak in the heat of a familiar weight next to him. 

"Alec?"

Alec murmured a questioning sound. Logan was too warm and solid to pull away from.

"…zombie assassins?"

Alec groaned. "Now _that_ I blame Phil for…"

 

 

Alec wanted to hit something.

Sebastian's wheelchair stuttered as it tried to maneuver around the shambles of the lab— _Jesus_ , his lab.

It was a shock the walls were still standing. Drywall was exposed in some areas; others spots were dented in like giant fists pummeled the surface. Alec wouldn't be surprised if that was what actually happened.

The stainless steel examination table was thrown through the two way mirror. It hung in a crumpled V in the threshold, glass littered below. The camera that recorded all the procedures in the room was punched into a wall, above the monitors Sebastian used to watch. 

Anders, the lumbering man who did the manual work under Sebastian's guidance, was quiet as usual. But Alec caught the darkness brewing in the gentle gray eyes as the aide considered the space. The man looked like he was capable of the violence around them. However, when he stooped down to pick up a microscope, the care he took startled Alec.

_"They did not find it."_

Alec winced. Sebastian's speakers were also damaged. It left the synthesizer sounding gravelly.

"You sure?" Matt asked, eyeing the mess skeptically. 

Anders shuffled to the wall next to the viewing window. He set his large hands, paws really, on a spot chest height and pushed.

A panel slid open.

_"I'm sure."_

Anders wordlessly arched an eyebrow at Matt and Alec. He unexpectedly grinned, revealing old broken teeth and the lack of a tongue. He bent down to slide his hands inside the revealed compartment.

When Alec glanced over to Matt, the detective gave a small headshake.

 _"All the footage of the dissection and of both implants was destroyed."_ Sebastian's stare at Alec was unnerving. _"As were my notes on the implants."_

Alec breathed out sharply. "Then they got your notes on the frequency—"

_"It will not work."_

Alec's eyes snapped back to Sebastian.

"Why not?"

Sebastian's head rocked towards the synthesizers. The first try, the speakers squawked. Sebastian's right eye twitched, the most Alec ever seen it move. Sebastian tried again.

_"The shutdown command is flawed."_

Alec stiffened. "There is no shutdown sequence? No kill switch?"

_"No."_

Alec bit the inside of his cheek. 

"How about the back of their necks?"

_"It would require a higher voltage. The only way to determine the exact voltage I would—"_

"Need a working implant," Alec muttered. 

Matt exhaled. He folded his arms across his chest. "Damn."

"Bullet to the head will still do the trick," Alec said darkly. 

Matt grunted. "Technically, I'm out to lunch and not hearing you express intent for murder."

Alec saw the lab, the bruise on Sebastian's forehead and the limp Anders tried to hide from everyone. Heat swelled in his chest. His lips curled back.

"Only _intent_?" Alec bit out.

Matt's eyes slid away.

"Out to lunch," Matt repeated.

Sebastian stared at Alec with those flat brown eyes. His mouth couldn't move, slack from the lack of muscle control. Nevertheless, Alec thought Sebastian was trying to frown.

To Alec's surprise though, Sebastian tipped his head back to his translator.

_"They were already dead the moment that thing was in them."_

 

 

There was still blood on it.

Alec automatically zeroed in on the dark speck between the grooves. As Logan turned the tiny metal in different angles, it felt like the spot of blood, too small for anyone else to see, followed Alec.

"…be fine for the time being," Logan went on, unaware of Alec's stare at the innocuous looking bit. "But they can't move any of their equipment. It's a total loss. Getting replacements for specific machinery like that would only draw attention back to them."

Logan glanced up. Something flickered in his eyes. Slowly, Logan turned his shoulder, breaking Alec's line of sight with the thing.

Alec blinked, momentarily displaced. He roused out of his thoughts and gestured towards it.

"All Sebastian's data on it were destroyed."

"You said the kill switch doesn't work anyway."

Alec made a face. "No, we need to get at them the old fashion way." He mimed shooting a gun with a hand. "There's only so many working lamp posts I can throw them against and even that isn't a guarantee to work anymore."

"The thought of ending them with a simple flip of a switch didn't appeal to me anyway," Logan murmured.

"Technically, it's more like your magic fingers typing the right frequency and bandwidth to terminate their program."

Logan made a face. "Terminate their program?" he repeated.

Alec copied Logan. "I probably could have put it better." 

The wheelchair squeaked as it turned away from the computer. Logan, with the implant in a box now, steered for the bedroom.

"Babe, we're not sleeping with that thing, are we?" Alec called out, alarmed. "That is not sexy at all! If I find it under my pillow, I am going disgruntled Tooth Fairy on its pointy ass!"

"Safe in the closet," Logan tossed over his shoulder. 

"Still not sexy!" Alec retorted, but he stayed on his perch on top of the kitchen island. Logan made that toasted bread and some sort of anchovy paste stuff to smear over the golden circles. He wasn't moving an inch from them.

Alec piled more of the vinegary fishy goodness on the bread and popped it in his mouth. As he crunched loudly, the chomping a rare pleasant sound in his ears, Alec surveyed the penthouse.

Logan's socks were under the desk.

Alec narrowed his eyes. Yup, Logan's ratty blue socks were under the table, folded over like the way they were folded in the sock drawer because Heather didn't just throw his socks in the drawer.

"It's evidence," Logan said as he came out of the bedroom. "When we catch them, the courts might need…"

Logan stopped by the couch. He looked at the socks Alec held in his hands.

"My feet were getting cold," Logan said shortly. His chair swiveled sharply so he could transfer onto the couch.

Alec went over. He wordlessly gave Logan the socks. He watched as Logan bent awkwardly from the waist and pulled up the socks over bruised ankles. The purplish marks ran up into the sweatpants.

"Thought you were done using your leg as a baseball bat." Alec's fingers twitched, wanting to curl around a calf and feel for damage.

Logan stilled then he continued on pulling up the second sock jerkily. Done, he slumped back into the couch.

Alec grounded his teeth. He turned around to face the building across from them. The sun was rising to its zenith. It sent a blazing glare off the building's windows. It hurt to stare outside for too long.

"My feet were cold," Logan repeated. "I dropped my feet lower to the floor and the floor felt cold." A muscle in Logan's jaw jumped. "But when I tried again, I didn't feel anything."

"So you thought smacking your knee against the table hard enough to bust up your entire leg was a great litmus test to check if you still have feeling?"

Logan's mouth pressed thin. He didn't deny it. He didn't answer.

Alec closed his eyes. "Damn it, Logan. There are other ways to test out if your legs were still feeling the effects. You could try walk—"

"What? Walking?" Logan scoffed bitterly. "Sure. Great idea."

"It is!" Alec twisted around. Logan stared narrow eyed out the window, his jaw set. "Anything is better than trying to break your leg! It sure as hell would hurt less!"

Abruptly, Logan laughed.

"Hurt less?" Logan managed. He looked over to Alec. His smile was brittle, a parody of what Alec remembered Logan's smile could be. "It'll hurt a lot more when I lo—"

"Not this again!" Alec jumped off the couch. He paced in front of Logan, in between the couch and the bank of windows.

Logan tracked Alec's left and right. 

"You said you get it," Logan said quietly. He sounded defeated. 

"Yeah, I was hoping you would come to your senses eventually," Alec muttered.

"Senses?" Logan chuckled mirthlessly. "That's funny considering—"

"None of this is funny!" Alec burst out. 

"Are you sure?" Logan bit out. "Because it feels like one cruel joke to me."

Alec stopped in front of Logan. "No one's trying to make a joke out of it. This," Alec gestured to Logan's legs. "This is an opportunity and I know you think it won't last, but so what? At least you have it for a short time. Isn't that enough?"

"If Manticore was to come take you now, is that what you'll think? 'Oh it was good while it lasted'?"

"No."

Logan stilled.

Alec smiled crookedly. "They'll reset my brain. I told you before: I wouldn't even remember any of it." His stomach roiled at the thought.

Logan sagged back onto the couch. He stared up at Alec with wide eyes.

"Psy-Ops, remember?" Alec said, not unkindly.

Logan's mouth snapped shut. He gulped. "Right, you said—then why bother?"

"Because right now, I can do whatever I want and I'll remember it." Alec shrugged. "I'll enjoy every bit of when I'm Out and fight to keep on doing it. If my brain gets wiped, I can't miss anything I can't remember, right?"

Alec tapped himself on the temple.

"But right now, I remember everything; good and bad."

Alec turned towards the windows.

"I like what we have," Alec said softly. "What we have is good, but…" Alec faced Logan again. He splayed a hand on his chest.

"But I know it might not last. I'll make sure they don't come near you, but I know I can't promise the same for myself and if I'm ever in their grabby hands again..."

Alec swiped his palm across his forehead. Done, he snapped his fingers.

Logan lowered his eyes. 

"How do you deal with this every day?" Logan murmured.

Alec knelt between Logan's legs. He framed Logan's face with his hands. He tilted the chin up until their eyes met.

"I don't deal with it every day." Alec smiled tightly. "I deal with what I'm doing. Right now. I can't think about tomorrow without cheating myself out of today."

Logan leaned into Alec's left hand. He breathed deeply. He reached up and covered Alec's hands on his face.

"You're a lot stronger than me then," Logan whispered. His breathing hitched. "I'm scared of falling back into that dark place and never coming out again."

"Like how I'm scared once they get their hands on me," Alec replied softly, "I'll never be me again."

Logan's eyes skewered Alec. "I wouldn't let that happen."

Alec smirked tiredly. "Like I won't let you brood yourself into a grumpy bastard, huh?"

Logan snorted and shoved Alec back. Alec snickered. He leaned back to study Logan.

Logan smiled wearily at him.

"Thanks." Logan brushed a hand over his mouth as he visibly struggled for the words. "Alec, I—"

Alec pulled Logan closer. He rested his cheek against Logan's and closed his eyes too.

"I know you're trying in there," Alec murmured. Logan stilled in his arms. "I wish you let me be there when you do though."

"It's hard," Logan muffled against Alec. "The moment I make any attempt—"

"You pull back."

Logan tensed.

Alec held him tighter when he felt Logan try to pull away. "I know you think you're trying and in a way, you are, but the moment you think you feel anything, you stop. For days it's been the same story: you take the first step then you retreat." 

"I'm not—"

Alec silenced Logan with a kiss. He stroked Logan's jaw. He swept a palm down Logan's leg, barely touching the bulge of new bandages on Logan's thigh.

Logan jerked. He started to pull away, but Alec stopped him with another kiss.

"Hey," Alec whispered. "I promised no more forcing you. You need time. You're getting time."

Logan watched Alec's hand travel up his leg.

"I felt that," Logan said abruptly. "And I felt something every time I tried standing," He sighed. "But when I tried to take it a step further, all I could think about was how it felt before: nothing. One more step and it might be all that's left in me." He shook his head. "I think that's all—"

"That's the problem," Alec interrupted. "You _think_. It's all you do. You think, you over think and then…" He shrugged. "Maybe you need to stop thinking about it and—" He paused. He was getting tired of hearing the word.

Logan smiled crookedly. It was a tight twist of the mouth, acknowledging Alec. 

"Try?" Logan offered. He slumped back into the couch. "I'm doing my best."

Alec dropped down heavily next to Logan. He stared out the windows at the building across. He wondered if the people there were doing the same: gazing out and imagining other people's lives. 

"I know," Alec told Logan. "You could have ' _let it pass_ ' like you kept saying, but you didn't and I know part of it is because of me." Alec's throat worked.

"But maybe that's part of the problem, too. You keep thinking about what might come after, but you won't stop because we both know I'm the one who wants this the most for you."

Alec tucked against Logan's arm. He breathed deep. The faded scents of almonds and coffee drifted around him.

"I can't be the only one who wants this," Alec murmured.

"I want this," Logan said automatically.

"Not enough," Alec countered. "You're too busy thinking about how much you _don't_ want what's happening you can't bring yourself to want this."

Alec sat up higher. He cupped Logan's jaw. "I'm only telling you this because sometimes you need a second opinion telling you you're an idiot." He grinned.

"I learned that one from Original Cindy."

Logan huffed out a sad laugh. "You're right. I'm scared. Maybe that's what's keeping me from pushing on. I _am_ an idiot, aren't I?"

"Eh. You're _my_ idiot, Heather." 

 

 

"So…this is it."

Alec grimaced. He shifted from his left foot and right. He considered Phil in front of him.

"Aw, what the hell," Alec muttered. He took a step forward, arms lifting up…

Phil threw himself into Alec's personal space and squeezed.

Alec squawked. "Off! Off!" He twisted free and glowered at Phil. The goofball solemnly shook hands with Matt. "Oh, _he_ gets the handshake and I get the gorilla arms?"

"Be glad he didn't try to kiss you," Original Cindy said wryly. She leaned against the sector fence as she watched the proceedings with a smirk.

Alec boggled at Phil. "You tried to kiss her? _Dude_."

"I wanted to say goodbye." Phil rubbed his chin. "Her response was unexpected."

"Try that ever again and Original Cindy's response would be the left one."

Matt held up his hands. He took a step back. "I'm good with the handshake. Thanks."

Phil's mouth crinkled downward. "I also wanted to say goodbye to _Eyes_ —"

Everyone simultaneously cleared their throats. Phil clamped both hands over his mouth.

Original Cindy snorted. "Might as well call him Logan," she said. She looked over to Alec. "Too bad he isn't here."

Alec shifted his weight as he muttered, "Security." Because saying Logan was too pissed off at himself again to venture out invited too many looks and sympathetic grimaces. He felt himself getting annoyed on Logan's behalf. And _that_ annoyed him because damn it, the emotional tiptoeing around Logan and his legs made Alec's insides knot.

The memory of Logan's stiff back when Alec said goodbye, however, gave Alec pause. His irritation faded. An ache sat heavy on his chest. He hoped Logan wasn't beating his legs on his desk again. He knew Logan most likely felt sorry about his mood after Alec left. Heather wore guilt as religiously as he did his glasses. 

"Logan," Phil tried the name out loud. His smile went lopsided. "It's a good name."

"Luckily, he isn't here," Matt muttered. "Or you would have tried kissing _Logan_ good bye."

Heat replaced the pang in Alec's chest. He glared at Phil. 

Phil blanched. He smiled shakily at Alec before stepping behind Cindy.

Alec rolled his eyes. When he looked at Phil though, his ire faded.

"So…" Phil fidgeted. The gears under his baggy cargos squeaked. He looked young with his face cleaned up, a haircut from Cindy and a beige sweater Alec had bartered with Sketchy for a repaired toaster. 

"Safe journey," Alec managed. He nodded towards the bus that coughed and sputtered by the gate. "It's gonna get you there. I checked." After he replaced the brake line. And a couple of seat belts. And the radiator hose. But yeah, the bus was going to take Phil from point A to point B in one piece.

Phil nodded. He gave Alec a hesitant look.

"What?"

"Am I turning my back on destiny like this by going to see my mom?"

Alec paused. He wished Phil looked at Matt or Cindy instead. They have moms, real moms who did the whole nine month gig, two to tango to make a squirmy, squishy baby. Phil was looking at the wrong guy for answers.

"Well," Alec tried when it looked like no one was going to step in, "You're coming back, right?"

"Of course." Phil looked insulted.

Alec's insides loosened at sight. He smirked faintly.

"Then you're not turning your back on destiny. You're just…taking a detour from your path. Only for a short while."

Phil nodded thoughtfully. "You're right. I’m not getting out of the business altogether." He brightened. "There have been reports of an inter-dimensional portal forming under Sheboygan that could easily turn into an astral dumpsite. We could—"

"No," Alec said at the same time with Matt and Cindy.

Phil looked crestfallen. "But…"

Alec huffed. "Just go there, see your mom and when you guys have talked, get your ass back here. You can't leave your team—stop with the hugging!"

Arms pinned to his sides, feet kicking in the air, Alec flailed free. He growled at Phil, but the idiot only beamed at him.

"I will return!" Phil boomed. He gestured wildly, almost knocking into a stooped over senior. She tipped her umbrella back and shot Phil a dirty look.

Cindy planted two hands on Phil's back and steered him towards the passenger line. "Get on the damn bus before it leaves without yo—"

"Wait!" Phil cried out. He pointed at the pyramid of television sets someone was selling to bus goers. "Isn't that…"

Alec spun around. He froze.

Logan's building was on every screen. A red ticker tape scrolled below.

_Shots fired._

_"…unknown number of assailants has stormed into the building on…"_

Matt was pulling his cell out. 

_"…police are still three minutes out. Even an affluent area such as this suffers from the lack of sufficient police response since the P—"_

Alec didn't speak. He couldn't. He stared at the televisions. His throat squeezed all the air out.

Phil sucked in his breath behind Alec.

"We just left—"

_"…cell phone video shows security has already abandoned their posts, unable to counter the assault. The video shows what appeared to be a highly organized group, suggesting terrorism…"_

The stuttering sharp reports on the televisions vibrated in Alec's bones. 

No, no, no. He was supposed to be safe. 

"Alec." Matt pulled the phone away from his ear. "Dispatch repo—wait!"

Alec spun on his heels, wildly searching for a ride. 

Phil dragged a motorcycle before Alec.

"He hasn't noticed it's gone yet," Phil panted. He gestured wildly towards the square. Everyone was riveted to the screens including the bus driver. "You'll get there faster. Go, I'll go with Justice and—"

Alec didn't wait for Phil to finish. He vaulted into the cycle and twisted the ignition key so hard he was absently amazed it didn't snap off.

The cycle roared into life just as a distant figure ran towards them, shouting.

"He noticed," Phil yelped. He slapped the cycle's seat. "Go!"

Alec went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conclusion Wednesday. Yes, _this_ Wednesday. LOL.


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue adapted from several canon episodes. Contains graphic violence, strong language and sex. The usual.

There was an ambulance in front of Logan's building.

And a body bag on the ground.

Alec couldn't breathe. He stumbled off the cycle before it came to a complete stop. He didn't prop up the kickstand. He ignored the helpful shout behind him when the bike crashed onto its side.

The streets were filled with people in all sorts of dress. Some were in their bathrobes, having rushed out of their homes. Nosey onlookers craned their necks to see. The police lingered on the sidewalks, their faces grimacing even as they barked for people to stay back. 

Reporters stood in front of the building, past the crime scene tape because they bribed officers for access. Camera spotlights flared everywhere like small supernovas. Alec automatically hunched deeper into his button down in hopes the collars covered more of the bar code.

Glass as fine as snow caught the light from the news trucks. They sparkled on the sidewalk: diamonds among streaks of blood. Yellow police tape whipped wildly in the breeze. Someone had dropped a pink slipper on the ground. 

Everything faded when Alec saw the body bag.

Despite its dark material, Alec could see the slick gleam of blood the flimsy bag couldn't completely contain. It sat on the pavement. The coroner wasn't here yet and the asshole police avoided looking at it as they directed traffic for SWAT to arrive. SWAT wasn't here either. The shooting was all over and SWAT wasn't here. No one was here to give the body bag the dignity of not looking like trash on the street.

"Hey, you can't—"

Alec ducked under the police tape. He stumbled to the concrete. He mumbled something. To someone. He must have waved his PCA id to one of them because now the hands trying to hold him back retreated. His own hands shook as he reached for the zipper.

Another pair of hands in blue gloves reached in and helped him.

The metal teeth zipped noisily down the seam. Nylon parted, falling open…

To a stranger's face.

"Did you know him?" A voice, a rough one trying to sound dutifully sympathetic, was close to Alec's ear.

Alec stared at the sagged cheeks and flat square nose. He unsteadily rose to his feet. "No, I—They said there was a shooting…"

The body bag was sealed back up with a sharp hiss.

"Reports of shooting in that building. This poor bastard happened to be standing by the shooters' van when they came out." The speaker now sounded annoyed. "Look, if you're not a relative of this guy then—"

"I got this."

Matt's firm voice followed the strong clasp around Alec's forearm. He flashed a badge, said something to the patrolman, but Alec wasn't listening. 

Alec shook off Matt's grip. Distantly, he heard Matt arguing with the officer. He tripped up the single step. His boots rang funny in the marble lobby. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw more police about to stop him then didn't for whatever reason. He didn't bother to check why. He almost went for the stairs out of habit, but the elevators opened on cue.

The PH button was lit by the time Alec reached for it. He didn't question it. Nor did he puzzle over how Matt somehow got into the elevator before him. All he could think about was the body bag with the wrong (right) face in it and the elevator was too slow today. 

"They can't tell how the shooters came in," Matt said, but it was noise buzzing in Alec's ears. "Residents flooded Security with calls, but they couldn't pinpoint where—"

"Logan's," Alec rasped. "There were no large pieces of glass from the windows on the streets, which means higher elevation. They must have come in from the roof. His skylight was a weak point. I told him—I _told_ him those things were a security—" Alec swallowed convulsively. 

The doors opened to a small crowd of police. They were starting to tape up the shattered door.

"Out," Matt ordered.

"We figured out this was the source of the shooting. We need to process—"

"Not yet."

Process what? The scene? Logan's bod—

Alec charged through before the idea could fully form in his mind. He wildly thought if he rushed in, he could out run the thought of Loga—No.

Time froze. The air stilled. Sound vanished.

Alec stared at the destroyed office area. It felt like he never left Sebastian's lab. 

Nothing was left intact. Bullet holes raked the walls. Computers lay broken and smoking on the desk. Servers were pulled off the stations; the sound generators were torn apart. Even the recessed lighting was ripped down from the ceilings, exposing sparking junction boxes. Logan's wheelchair was jammed under the workstation. The drawer where Logan kept his gun was pulled all the way out. Unspent bullets gleamed all over the floor.

"Damn."

Matt's hushed exhale drew Alec away from the scene. He numbly turned towards the wall above the television to see what Matt saw. 

_Give us what we need. We give you what you want._

The words were red and blurry on the edges. Coordinates were scribbled below along with the time to meet. Logan's lockbox, its heavy duty door missing, punctuated the demand. It was driven into the wall. It was empty.

"The implant," Alec bit out. _Stupid, 494. Stupid._ "That's how they found Logan. That thing must have been receiving _and_ sending. It's probably how they found Sebastian's lab in the first place. It's why they left it behind. They knew we would—" 

Alec spun around and punched the couch. It was the last straw; the furniture thumped crookedly to the ground, no longer able to stand on its remaining leg.

Heart hammering, Alec forced himself to examine the red smears on the wall. 

Spray paint.

Alec felt dizzy.

"He's alive," Alec croaked.

Matt gave the living room a cursive glance.

"Responding officers said there was no one here," Matt agreed. He didn't sound relieved, though. "I thought with _Eyes Only_ releasing all the evidence—"

"They're not working for Neal anymore." Alec was sure he shouldn't feel this giddy over the news. "There's no need to kill Logan. Not anymore. Not when no one is footing the bill."

"Then what did they—"

"Me." Alec wanted to scream, laugh and cry all at the same time. "They want me."

Alec ran a shaking hand through his hair as he looked around. There wasn't blood anywhere. "They're still trying to find a cur—"

Alec's eyes stopped at a bullet hole in the ceiling. His mind quickly pulled up blueprints; the layout and the thickness of the—

"Shit!"

"What?" Matt scrambled after Alec.

Alec didn't bother to wait for the elevator. He took the stairs, three steps at a time. He already reached the next floor by the time Matt huffed and puffed up to the midway landing.

The fire door scraped loudly across the floor when Alec yanked it open. He spotted the familiar door. He flashed to himself standing there, dutifully waiting and holding crinkly bags of groceries while she had fumbled for the keys.

The door flew open with a kick. Alec's high pitched, "Mrs. Moreno!" drowned out the resulting slam.

A head topped with a crown of snowy white hair was bowed towards the television. Mandarin blared as a hockey player scored.

Alec couldn't bring himself to shout again as he skidded to a halt. He reached over and hesitantly touched her shoulder.

With a delicate yawn, Mrs. Moreno lifted her head. She squinted up and smiled sweetly when she focused on Alec.

"Hello, dear," Mrs. Moreno chirped. She patted around her neck for her glasses. She stopped. She blinked and turned back to Alec.

"What are you doing in my apartment?"

"Your door was open," Alec stammered. When Matt jogged up besides him, Alec hastily added, "There's been an emergency in the building. Everyone has to evacuate."

Mrs. Moreno frowned mildly. "Oh dear, did I forget to lock my door again?" Her small pale hands fluttered around her throat. "I didn't hear the alarm. Why didn't Carl wake me? Where are my glasses?"

Alec stared at the shattered spectacles by Mrs. Moreno's terry loafers. A bullet hole marred the carpet. He tracked up and found a matching hole in the ceiling. He gulped.

"I'm sure they're around here somewhere," Alec reassured her. He cupped her elbow and carefully helped her stand. "This is Detective Matthew Sung. He'll take you to the evacuation area."

Matt's eyes were dark with understanding. He favored Mrs. Moreno with a faint smile and a gentle grip around her arm.

"This way, Mrs. Moreno."

Mrs. Moreno smiled brightly at Matt. "Sung? Oh, do you watch Chinese hockey? The Taiwanese Rangers are in the finals this year."

"I'm afraid I don't watch, ma'am. I find it hard to understand."

"What a shame. How come?"

"Well, I'm Korean…"

Alec breathed out as he watched Matt gently guide Mrs. Moreno to the elevator. As soon as the doors closed behind the pair, he took the stairs back down.

Phil hung back from the police tape and the open doors. His hat was clutched in his hands. The lens jittered up and down as he worried the hat. He didn't go in.

"Original Cindy's downstairs. They wouldn't let her in. I used the stairwell you showed m—Oh."

Phil gulped as he considered the penthouse from the foyer.

"Is he…" Phil whispered.

"No." Alec stalked into the kitchen.

Phil's eyes rounded as he watched Alec pull out every weapon he hid in the kitchen. He dumped them into a duffel bag before he stormed into the bedroom.

The shotgun under the bed. The k-bar taped behind the headboard. The tazer under the hollowed out lamp; Logan never questioned why the remaining lamp stopped working. 

"Come on," Alec said as he fished out the spare Kevlar and a backpack from the bottom of the closet. "Matt can't delay the cops too long. We gotta get this stuff out before they get back in to process the scene."

Alec pried the backup drives out of the servers and jammed them into a backpack. Hopefully, they survived; Logan was going to be pissed otherwise. He directed Phil to the box of fake passports and cash under the mattress, nestled inside a cut out. As Phil struggled to straighten up the bedroom, Alec grabbed the various bits of evidence that could link Logan to _Eyes Only._

As Alec sanitized the penthouse, his mind raced. He and Phil scrubbed the coordinates and time off the wall and left the words behind. The message sprayed on the wall could be read like a ransom note. Hell, no one would be surprised one of the last Cale heirs was snatched out of his fancy apartment for a quick million or two. 

This wasn't ransom, though. At least not in the traditional sense.

 _They want an X5_ , Alec thought with rising fury. _They're going to get one_.

 

 

_"They have Logan."_

Alec knew Sebastian's synthesizers couldn't replicate the various tones of a human voice. Nevertheless, the flat quality of the statement rankled. He wanted to punch something.

"Yeah," Alec managed. "They must have used the implant. It must have been able to send out something, a-a signal or a marker or…or…" 

Alec sucked in his breath sharply before he could yell at Sebastian. His guts screamed why Sebastian didn't find this, why did he let Alec bring the damn Trojan horse back to Logan, back to where they could find him, take him, hurt him—

Fists clenched, Alec abruptly turned to physically shake the thoughts out of his head. There was no blood. They needed Logan as bait. They would have needed Logan alive. He was alive. Alive.

_"Take my defibrillator."_

Sebastian stared at Alec with unblinking eyes and an unmoving mouth. He tilted his head against his synthesizers. The speakers crackled briefly before they came back to life.

_"There is no way to guess the frequency and it may not work anyway. A focused charge on the implant site could disrupt it long enough for you to take them down."_

"A defibrillator doesn't hold enough of a charge for that." Alec's eyes drifted to the small green metal box Anders held out to him. "And don't you need it?"

_"Not as much as I did before."_

Alec studied Sebastian. He swallowed.

"Max."

Sebastian didn't tap into his vocal interpreter, but there was a glimmer in his eyes that wasn't there before. It held no humor. Sebastian solemnly gazed back at Alec.

"Yeah," Alec rasped, "All right." He took the device from Anders. "This still hasn't got the juice, though."

Now the gleam in Sebastian's eyes sharpened. 

_"Not yet."_

Next to Sebastian, Anders wolfishly grinned.

 

 

It took Matt two hours.

It took two goddamn hours to get the sector passes they needed. It took Alec less time to find a car, switch out its plates and hollow out parts of the green SUV to be stuffed with guns and ammo. It took even less time to steal the blueprints of the place the coordinates led to.

The road leading to the coordinates, an abandoned hangar, was overrun by weeds and garbage. But there were clear parallels tracks; someone drove through here repeatedly.

Alec parked his borrowed car before the road bends, staying out of sight. He ignored the telescope lens offered to him. He studied the structure unaided. 

The building was a four story high hanger that once sat on a private airstrip of some rich guy. After the Pulse, the private airstrip was quartered into plots of land in a desperate attempt to survive the complete failing of the US economy. But everyone was just as broke and the land fell into neglect and foreclosure limbo.

Car doors opened and slammed shut simultaneously.

"Do not tell me where you got the car," Matt muttered as he lifted up his binoculars to see for himself. He paused before adding, "Or the weapons."

"How does it look?" Phil asked anxiously as he struggled to climb out of the car. His exoskeleton squawked.

The building itself didn't look too bad. It looked like someone stuck a giant barrel into the dirt halfway. Windows crowned the top of the domed structure. Rusty stacks of crushed cars littered the grounds like some tetanus laced maze. Black smoke puffed out from the back. The air smelled like burnt motor oil. 

Alec scowled. The point of entry was either the front double gates or the side service entrance. Neither Alec liked. Both were out in the open. The stripped cars spread out like haystacks. They would provide cover, but they also provided hidey holes for the bad guys.

"Do you see him?" Phil whispered, leaning into Alec's space. He squinted, trying to see what Alec could. 

Alec set his jaw. Entry from topside was out. There were no ladders or handholds. He could see the bars of catwalks crisscrossing the space through the soot smudged windows. But getting to the catwalks meant going through the windows, which meant going through the roof.

"I see guards," Matt reported, lowering his binoculars. "But they don't look like any of the Red series. Hired guns." He frowned. "They're most likely inside."

"Damn it," Alec muttered under his breath. He unfolded the map. He frowned down at it. His eyes skimmed over the descriptions. 

"It looks like there were a few changes made illegally." Matt compared the plans with the structure before them. "Looks like the hangar is being used as a salvage yard." 

Alec set his mouth. "Big surprise." He stood over the map on the car hood. He was painfully aware of Matt and Phil next to him. His plan adjusted rapidly in his head as he came to a decision. "I'm going to need you two inside." 

Matt's mouth pursed. "I wasn't planning on staying outside." He looked pointedly at Alec. He reached into the backseat and grabbed his police issued gear.

Alec grunted. "Well, congratulations, change of plans."

Matt's only response was the sudden hiss of Velcro straps on his vest. He glared at Alec. Phil, too. Apparently, they thought Alec shouldn't pull off the rescue alone. 

"I'd called it in with SWAT, but there's no guarantee…"

Alec's upper lip curled back. "You know, more and more I think this post-Pulse world sucks. How messed up is it that it takes _forty minutes_ for SWAT to get across town? Were they playing escort for some big wig again? We should totally hack the shit out of Seattle about their moonlighting during work hours. And why the hell was the police giving Original Cindy attitude about staying with Mrs. Moreno? Just because she didn't live in that hyped up, overpriced, security breach—"

"Logan's okay." Matt dropped a hand on Alec's arm. "There's no blood. He's worth more to them alive."

The rest of Alec's rant died in his throat. He stared hard at his hands gripping the edge of the blueprints. He released his breath and willed his fingers to unfurl.

"Save your sidearm as a backup," Alec croaked. "Pick something out of the trunk." He gestured to Phil. "Just put the vest on. I'll pick something out for you." 

Alec didn't wait for a reply. He left Phil and Matt to gawk at the array of weapons hidden in the trunk; he has other things he needed to do first. 

Black fingerless gloves slipped over his palms tight; he needed to use his teeth to tug them over his wrists. They weren't too tight that would constrict circulation, but they weren't too loose to cause a loss of grip either. 

Alec stared at the time. There were twenty two minutes left. He wanted to be here sooner, but it took too long to get the sector passes and Sebastian wanted to test out his 'improvements' to the defibrillator a few more times. Alec allowed one test to make sure the thing didn't go kablooey before he blazed. 

One more check to confirm the time. Then the watch was covered up with non-reflective tape.

Sebastian's upgraded defibrillator was carefully placed in the bottom of Alec's backpack. He strapped the k-bar to his thigh. He shrugged into Logan's double holsters and slipped the extra clips into his jacket's secret pockets. 

Alec black marked everything that might catch a glint of light like his face and neck; he even painted the zipper pull of his backpack. 

The face paint Alec smeared over his cheeks and forehead was a familiar yet discomforting sensation. Alec flashed to when his cheeks were rounder and softer with youth if not naiveté. The gun then felt too large in his hands.

Now, it felt too small, too inefficient.

"Is this really necessary?" Phil asked timidly as he watched Alec hang a rifle across his body then snap a magazine into a Pelican .37. Phil looked like a stranger, garbed in the black Kevlar and without his long flappy coat. 

Alec cocked back the slider to put a bullet in the chamber. He stared down the barrel through its site to check its alignment. Satisfied, he smoothly spun the gun into the holster. He tucked a knife in the other. He looked at Phil silently.

Phil's face was pale. He kept glancing over to Matt. The detective grimly loaded his own rifle—an M40, good choice—and checked the attached scope.

Matt glanced over to Alec, his expression unreadable.

Alec wordlessly extended the tazer to Phil. 

Gulping, Phil took the boxy device with two hands.

"This is one of those times I told you about," Alec said evenly. He wanted to swap the tazer for the Sig Sauer. Maybe the Regar 200. Matt's small nod, however, told Alec the tazer was the right choice.

Alec set the tazer. He pointed out the trigger to Phil. He watched Phil clumsily copy him.

"You might need to do bad things that'll make you feel bad."

"But we're still the good guys," Phil added unsteadily.

"If you had gotten on that bus, no one would have held it against you," Matt said.

" _I_ would have held it against me," Phil answered. He smiled shakily.

"Just another detour, right?"

Alec stared at Phil, speechless. He broke his gaze and stepped forward. He undid one strap on Phil's vest.

"You don't have this on tight enough," Alec said gruffly. He prodded Phil to turn around. Alec grunted as he checked the back. "You don't want to leave gaps in the vest."

"It's hard to move in this," Phil complained half-heartedly.

"Be harder with a bullet in you," Matt countered.

Phil gulped. He stood obediently as Alec checked all the straps. Done, he motioned Matt to come over to do the same.

Satisfied, Alec took a step back. He studied the two critically.

"This is it. Us. Versus them," Alec rasped. He narrowed his eyes when Phil took a step forward. "This is not a hugging moment."

Phil lowered his arms. He copied Alec's getup, smearing the matte paint all over his face and neck. He gave his weird hat a regretful look and tossed it in the backseat.

"What's the plan?" Matt asked as he finished smearing black over his own face.

Alec rested his hands on top of the rifle hung across him. He wished it didn't feel like a familiar weight. "Once I cleared the perimeter, you two get in." He turned to Matt.

"In the cemetery, you took a head shot that was over ninety meters," Alec recalled. 

Matt grimaced although it wasn't clear if it was due to the memory or the distance.

"If there's no wind and I'm stationary, my best record is a hundred and twenty."

Alec inwardly winced. "Okay, find elevation. I saw catwalks in there. Find a good spot with line of sight. Keep a bead on me. They want a piece of me, so they'll be close. No need to search them out. Keep your sights on my six and your targets will come to you."

"And me?" Phil spoke up. To his credit, his voice was steady even if his usual yippee factor was absent.

"No hoppy hoppy, you hear me? Find the master power switch for the place. Kill the lights at my signal."

Phil perked up. "Like a code? What's the code?"

"How about 'Shut the lights?'," Matt said dryly.

Phil gave Matt a disappointed look.

"Hey," Alec said sharply. "You stay out of sight. If you can, stay on higher ground, too, you hear? It's harder to shoot someone above than below. You do not stick your head out for anything. You stay near the power switch but behind cover."

Phil nodded frantically.

Alec's voice hardened. "Stay out of sight." He pointed to Phil and Matt. "Both of you."

Matt nodded curtly. Phil snapped out a salute so perfect, even that bastard Lydecker would have wept.

Alec hesitated. He stared across at the pair. His throat closed.

"You get yourself killed, I'm gonna be real pissed," Alec said roughly.

Matt smiled tightly. Phil stopped bobbing his head. He gazed back at Alec solemnly.

"Okay," Alec rasped. "Let's move."

 

 

There was only three.

Alec watched dispassionately as the third man dropped without a word. Just a regular guy with the normal inability to stay conscious within a choke hold. He crouched down, ziptied said average guy around his ankles and wrists. He duct-taped the slack mouth as well; wouldn't do if the guy started hollering and alert the bad guys inside. He rolled the unconscious bastard behind a cluster of barrels.

"Come out, come out wherever you are," Alec muttered as he crept along the walls of the building with one shoulder skimming the surface to guide him. The sun was now gone, but it was too early for the moon. Everything was dark. He wished one Red was out here. It would have meant one less Red to deal with inside.

Out of the corner of Alec's eye, he spied Phil and Matt lingering around the perimeter edge. From this distance, Phil managed to look like one of the barrels, squat and still. Matt flitted in and out of sight like a shadow.

Alec gestured with a sharp chop of his hand in the air. Phil headed for him in a half-crouch before Alec could finish his signal. Matt hung back, most likely guarding Phil's six before skulking after him. 

The slouched shadows ducked behind every cluster of drums they came across. Alec gnashed his teeth as he watched Phil cross the lot in exaggerated care until he reached Alec. At least Matt waited and slipped out of hiding, rifle muzzle first.

Phil, flushed and sweating, opened his mouth to speak. Alec shook his head in a cutting motion. Phil slapped a hand over his gaping mouth.

Matt joined them a beat later. His dark eyes glittered out among a black painted face. It made him look especially grim.

Phil, on the other hand, must have wiped his sweaty face at some point. There was a pale streak on his forehead where he must have smeared his forearm across. 

Alec wanted to tell Phil to go back. Matt should be miles away, trying to get SWAT to drag their fat asses three sectors across to a jurisdiction that wasn't theirs. But he also knew there was no way he could be in two places at once. Short of upgrading by shoving an implant in his neck like a damn Steelhead; Alec's only other advantage was his night vision. The Reds couldn't track him well in the alley. They were clumsy the first time Alec fought them when the lights went out.

"You got this," Alec said to Phil. He gripped Phil's shoulder. "On my signal, okay?" He cast a look over to Matt.

The detective's rifle raised a fraction higher. He bobbed his head once, his jaw set.

Phil's eyes were huge even in the dark. But he nodded as well.

Alec offered a strained smile. "Go get them, _Street Sweeper_."

Phil nodded again. He didn't salute. Still hunched down, Phil carefully opened the door. Light bled out briefly when Phil opened the service entrance. 

Matt and Alec tensed, but there were no shouts of alarm.

"Go," Alec whispered to Matt. 

The detective clasped a hand over Alec's shoulder. A look passed between them. Silent, Matt squinted into the hangar then slipped in behind Phil. 

Alec followed. He braced the door and eased it back into the frame so it wouldn't close loudly. He scanned the ground level quickly. His brow furrowed. There was no one around. More wrecked cars piled high littered the space like some disorganized Stonehedge. A large vat that provided the only light stood in the middle of the level, orange bubbles bursting from its rim. Molten metal oozed down its sides.

Matt frowned. Alec silently agreed. The line of sight was shit on ground level. He could tell from the deep scratches on the concrete floor that the arrangement was deliberate and strategic. 

The catwalks spiraled above them in a skeletal network of rusty railings, discolored mesh pathways and dangling chain links. They crisscrossed each other in a dizzying pattern; Alec suspected some were added on whoever had _borrowed_ the hangar. 

Alec canted his head. He listened for possible guards shouting, but still nothing. Even with his night vision, it is hard to make out a lot of detail. The only window the hangar boasted was in the back, two levels tall and positioned under the dome's apex. Without the moon to illuminate the sky, the window was only a dark square fixed in a darker space.

"Where is everyone?" Phil said, hushed.

"I don't know," Alec murmured. The building felt like was holding its breath. He tapped Phil and pointed to the first level of catwalks. He could see the thick power cables snaking higher and higher to where they hopefully went to an electrical box.

"I can jump it," Phil determined. Tiny gears squeaked as he crouched.

Matt shook his head. "No, the landing will be loud." 

Alec's skin prickled the longer the silence around them stretched. He spotted something along a wall. "Ladder. Eight o'clock."

Phil gulped. His eyes appeared too large for his face.

"Remember. We're still the good guys," Alec whispered.

Phil pressed his mouth together and nodded. He clasped Alec on the arm.

Counting under his breath, Alec counted as he tracked Phil tiptoeing up to the ladder. Matt tensed and pressed close as he craned his neck to watch his progress.

Alec hefted his rifle and eyed the shadows on the ground level. But the shadows stayed as shadows.

When Alec reached thirty, he tipped his head up again. He listened.

Nothing.

"You see him?" Matt asked, hushed. He squinted into the dim. His jaw clenched as he fruitlessly sought Phil.

"He got to the second level," Alec murmured. 

"All right." Despite the easy way Matt held the rifle, he looked out of place next to Alec. Alec was painfully aware of how little Kevlar really protected.

"Hey." Alec gripped Matt by the elbow. The detective glanced over. "Listen. I uh…"

Matt's mouth twisted. He tipped his rifle higher in the air in a parody of a salute before he went in the opposite direction, to another ladder that hopefully led to a safe hideout to hunker down in.

A beat fluttered against Alec's ribs. He counted to thirty for Matt as well. He wished he knew if the silence was good or not. He readjusted his grip on the rifle and the backpack.

His turn.

 

 

He could hear them.

It was hard to tell how many. One of them was definitely a mouth breather. A rustle of clothing. A chunky heel grinding on the rusty grating. That was it. 

The hangar was an empty shell. Whatever planes that used it were either stolen or sold off. With very few obstructions, sound bounced again and again. There was no sense of direction. No sense of how many was in here.

Alec's jaw clenched. He was sure it wasn't a Red having a titillating conversation with another Red. They didn't seem like the chatty type.

It wasn't Logan's voice either. Alec's stomach churned. He didn't know if he wanted to hear Logan's voice or not. 

A distant squeak of a gear told Alec that Phil was heading towards the top level behind him on his five o'clock. A far away creak hinted Matt was crouched down somewhere to his four o'clock. He listened for raised voices but so far, no one raised the alarm. 

"Way to go, guys," Alec murmured. He cast his gaze up, but even he couldn't make out where the two were. He scanned the area. There was no one on the ground floor. There was nothing but junk and molten steel.

"You're early."

Alec tensed.

The amused voice seemed to be coming from everywhere. Smart bastard. The hangar's spacious interior screwed up the Doppler effect. There was no way to tell where the speaker was. 

"Figured it would be rude to show up late," Alec called out. He darted to another location before the echoes faded into space. The voice held a bit of an accent, its vowels stressed and some of the consonants stretching to a lazy roll. South African.

"Very rude."

Alec gritted his teeth. The words rang out from all directions even from his new location. He pressed his shoulders into the stack of cars he hid behind. He breathed shallowly as he struggled to pinpoint the speaker.

"Had we known you were coming so soon, we would have cleaned him up." The voice chuckled. "He's a bit of a mess."

Alec bit his lower lip. He locked his knees before he rose to the bait. Logan hasn't said anything so far.

"Oh, you know," Alec drawled, "Always eager to make new friends. Your invitation on the wall looked so exciting; I couldn't wait to come by and say howdy." He twisted and ducked under a lopsided stack. "Why don't you come down and say hello too, _Johannessen_?" he tossed out before he darted to another spot.

The air stilled around Alec.

A slow hand clap filled the hangar.

"Excellent, 494."

Alec stiffened.

"Manticore's perfect little soldier. Did you figure it out all by yourself or did _Eyes Only_ helped?"

A hollow _thud_ rang out as a switch was pulled. A spotlight cut through the dark and shone a spot a few feet from the vat that gurgled and smoked.

"Stand under the light," Johannessen commanded.

Alec narrowed his eyes. "And if I don't?"

Something small spun as it fell. It shattered on impact. Glass splintered, thin black frames snapped.

Alec's hands dug into the top of his rifle.

"He needs his glasses to see. We could always send him down to get them."

Heart hammering in his chest, Alec tracked the path the eyeglasses took in reverse. His eyes watered as he forced himself to stare into the spotlight's glare. Tears burned at the corners, but Alec continued to stare, willing his eyes to adjust—There!

Behind the large drum light stood five shadows. Two of them held another between them. Another one, shorter than the others, stood directly behind the safety of the light with another. 

The pair of shadows dragged the other towards the edge of the skywalk.

"All right!" Alec jumped out, his hands in the air. He squinted, but he couldn't pick out enough details. Logan hung between two Reds. They held him up, so he knelt between them, but his head kept lolling left and right with each move.

Alec set his jaw. He kept his head tilted towards the glare and the shadows. He edged closer to the circle of light on the ground. 

When Alec's boot toed the blurry border, Johannessen added, "Drop your gun,"

Alec set down his rifle.

"Come now, 494, I'm quite sure that wasn't the only one."

Alec's mouth twisted. "You're more than welcome to come down here and frisk me."

Inches from Alec's boot, Logan's left sneaker landed sole up. There was blood on the laces.

Alec's hands curled into fists against his sides.

"Fine," Alec grated out. He pulled out his 9 mil, the .37 and a tazer. He set them down on the lighted floor in front of him.

Logan's right sneaker landed on top of the weapons. Above, metal groaned as they pushed Logan into the railings.

"All right! All right!"

Alec's k-bar clattered to the ground. The grenade lolled against the guns. Throwing knives hastily made out of car steel sprinkled the ground by his feet.

Johannessen chuckled. "I'm impressed."

Alec stared at the ground, his chest heaving. He could make out breathing above him; the Reds panted with exertion. Dead men walking. But as Alec stared at Logan's bloodied sneaker, he couldn't dredge up an ounce of sympathy for the bastards.

"What else is in the backpack?"

"His defibrillator," Alec bit out. "I was worried he might need it. Guys in his condition tend to have weaker hearts."

"How thoughtful," Johannessen sneered. "Leave it there with the rest."

"Hey," Alec protested, "he might need it."

The catwalk above creaked as Logan was pushed further out. His chest rested on the rail. His left arm dangled.

"He didn't give you what you wanted, right?" Alec shouted frantically. "All his _Eyes Only_ stuff? I mean why smack him around if you were only going to use him to lure me out?"

"Maybe my men liked to smack him around," Johannessen mused, "After all, they were death row inmates." The leer was audible. "No conjugal visits."

Alec struggled to keep his eyes on the cloaked figures behind the light rather than give in to the urge to race up there and break Johannessen's neck. 

_He's bluffing. He's bluffing. He's b—I'm going to fucking kill him anyway._

"So you're not interested in all that information _Eyes Only_ collected on everyone?" Alec shook his head. "That's a lot of dirt on a lot of people."

"He was stubborn," Johannessen begrudgingly admitted. He also sounded admiring. 

"You can't get anything from a dead guy." Alec shrugged the shoulder the backpack hung off from. "Especially one you can't bring back."

"You're surprisingly cooperative," Johannessen commented. His voice thinned. "Why?"

"I don't want him dead." Alec let the waver in his voice come through. "He's been good to me. I owe him. You get your samples and blackmail material from _Eyes Only_ as a bonus. All you gotta do is to let him go after we settle our business."

"Maybe we'll just get the information from you."

Alec pretended to scoff. "Hey, I can’t be a DNA donor and a hacker at the same time. Besides, how do you think _Eyes Only_ lasted this long without a little paranoia? You think he tells me everything? I'm cute, but not _that_ cute."

The catwalks groaned as Johannessen paced. He didn't consult with his companions. Sure enough, Johannessen was the only one calling the shots. 

"Fine," Johannessen snapped, "bring it up here."

Alec smiled brightly at the spotlight.

"Afraid of heights," Alec quipped. "Think my Alta mater mixed in some mole DNA in my cocktail. Why don't you guys come down here in—"

A muzzle flash was the only warning before Johannessen fired.

 

 

"Manticore transgenics are good, but you’re not bulletproof."

Alec grimaced. He tried to stand, but his left leg buckled the moment he put any weight on it. At such an extreme angle, Johannessen still managed to get his thigh, just above his knee. He clamped a hand over his thigh.The projectile punched a painful line vertically through his leg on the outside of his knee, skimmed the top of the cap and exited out halfway down the meaty part of his calf. It didn't hit any arteries, miraculously missed his shin, but _fuck_. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Alec thought he saw shadows above him edging closer. He violently shook his head under the pretense he was cursing in pain.

The shadows retreated.

"Get up here. Now." Johannessen no longer sounded amused.

"Then you shouldn't have shot me in the leg," Alec grumbled. He unbuckled his holster. He ignored Johannessen's chuckle as Alec tied the straps tight above the entry wound. He limped towards the stairways to the catwalks. 

"I'm sure Manticore trained you to work through the pain," Johannessen smoothly returned. "Better hurry. My men are getting tired of holding your friend up."

Alec gritted his teeth. The bastard was right; Manticore did drill into their X5s pain was an inconvenience but can't be an obstacle. He felt hot and sticky blood trickling down his leg. His jeans stuck to his skin. Blood started to pool in his boot. He exhaled between his clenched teeth as he put weight on his left knee.

The catwalks groaned under Alec's weight. Rails sway as he struggled up to the highest level. When he reached them, he staggered to a stop at the end of the walkway, against the exterior wall. The window that took up the upper half of the back wall felt cold as the outside temperatures started to seep through the pane. The pathway was the widest of the system, enough space for two to stand side by side. It smelled coppery; Alec hoped it was only because of the rust. The mesh surface was riddled with it. Alec didn't like the way it groaned and shivered under each step.

Logan didn't react to Alec's arrival. His head hung low, his chin touching his chest. His arms were pulled back painfully by the two Reds. Alec's gut clenched at the torn sweatshirt and bloodied jeans. 

"Do you mind?" Alec grated out. He gestured towards Logan.

Johannessen's smirk was audible. "Drop him, men."

There was a flare of panic when Alec thought the mercenary meant over the railing. His scream lodged in his throat, Alec flinched, about to vault over the railing to try and catch Logan when the Reds stepped back.

" _Wait_!"

Logan crashed onto the catwalk without a sound.

Alec sagged against the railing. His knee threatened to buckle and tip him down a four story drop he suspected he wouldn't be able to walk (hobble) away from. 

Chest heaving, Alec glared at Johannessen. 

The mercenary shrugged.

"Better than the alternative." 

"Sure," Alec snarled. "Much better." He stared at the crumpled form lying face down on the grating. His fingers ached to run over Logan's body. At least from here, he could see Logan breathing, his arms outstretched and motionless—Wait.

Alec zeroed in on Logan's right index finger. At first, he thought it was a muscle twitch, but it kept flexing out tiny, tiny tapping.

_OK._

Alec felt lightheaded as the Morse code pieced together. He wanted to sag, although it would have more been due to the blood loss. He could feel the blood trickling hot into his boot. Gross. He schooled his expression to an appropriately pissed off one. It wasn't hard.

"Empty that bag," Johannessen ordered. "Slowly."

"I'm pulling it out. Hold on," Alec said as he shrugged off the straps. He pulled out Sebastian's device, a small boxy meter with two paddles attached. 

"It doesn't look like any defibrillator I've seen."

Alec avoided looking at the additional batteries soldered to the bottom of the defibrillator. He shrugged.

"Newest one. From Mexico." Alec lifted it higher. "What can I say? He's rich. It's the best money can buy. Takes a while to charge, though. A bit of _a pain in the neck_ if you ask me."

Logan's finger went up and down again.

_Get it to me._

The window to Alec's left brightened as the moon started to rise. Shadows stretched. Time seemed to have stretched as well. 

Logan's hand lay limp in front of Alec. As moonlight spread, Alec caught the minute flexing of Logan's shoulders.

Johannessen pursed his lips, thinking. Alec's eyesight adjusted to the increased light, picking out Johannessen's frown.

"Look, if you don't believe me, you can take a look at it yourself." Alec set it on his emptied pack. "You might as well keep it by you in case he needs it."

Johannessen's eyes narrowed. Damn it; he was a suspicious bastard.

"Look." Alec openly stared at Logan's crumpled form now. "I…I need him to be okay. I'll just send it right over. Look at it all you want."

At Johannessen's grunt, Alec gave the pile a kick. The item in question slid over and stopped by their feet, inches from Logan.

Alec held his breath. He kept his composure as the leader toed the defibrillator. Alec forced himself not to look at the defibrillator or Logan. Alec could see Logan between the Reds', legs folded awkwardly underneath him, the body twisted face down. He recognized the soldiers from the security footage from the airport. The ones he had named Two and Five flanked Logan. The first Red dubbed One stood off Johannessen's shoulder. 

The bastard was the ugliest of the bunch. Barrel chested, thick arms that dangled like a gorilla, Johannessen's guard looked like he was made out of rock. The Red looked like a living gargoyle with his empty gaze and carved scowl. Johannessen looked tiny in comparison to One. 

Alec studied the Reds standing shoulder to shoulder, clustered close around Logan and their leade—

Shit.

_One. Two. Three. There were five. Where's the other two?_

"Where's the rest of your buddies?" Alec shouted as Johannessen was about to stoop down and pick up the defibrillator. "Should I be hurt you're not all here? Did two of your gang find something better to do?" 

Johannessen straightened. He sneered. 

"You really think I believe you came alone?"

Alec's smirk was frozen on his face. He stretched out his hearing but heard nothing. "Your invite didn't include anyone else. And you and I both know I'm pretty much the only thing who could keep up with your freaky friends."

Johannessen scoffed.

"Three perhaps, but five?"

So they were all here. 

Alec ground his teeth. Behind One and Johannessen, he spied Logan slowly reaching the device. Logan snagged the backpack it sat on.

The defibrillator painstakingly crawled closer to Logan.

"I'm here," Alec said, thinking quickly. "But demanding you to let him go is probably pointless, huh?"

"You could take your pick: watch my men have fun with _Eyes Only_ first or have him see you die and _then_ let my men have their fun."

Alec pretended to be surprised. "Die? So much for samples. And here I brought a paper cup and some dirty magazines, too."

The mercenary scoffed. "I thought Manticore trained you better than that, 494." His face twisted as he smiled; he no longer looked as bland as he did in Neal's press conference. "We're interested in your marrow and spinal cord although the other things might come in handy. We'll get those first."

"Splicing and dicing me won't do squat if you don't have the brain trust there to know how to cook it up right." Alec made a face. "As for the other stuff. Yea, your cause is not sexy enough to turn me on; dirty magazines or not."

Johannessen chuckled. "Our _cause_? Not my cause. _Their_ cause is to live."

"DNA doesn't work like that. Genome resequencing needs more than a few strands of enzymes and proteins. You're going to need more than a centrifuge to isolate enough polymerases you need to bind." Alec pressed his mouth thin as he considered the group. "I see enough to know the damage is already done." 

Two and Five exchanged a look. One narrowed his eyes.

Something pricked in Alec's gut.

"But you didn't know that, did you?" Alec raised his voice and let it echo throughout the space. "There's no cure."

Alec glared at Johannessen. The bastard was still smiling at Alec, smug and uncaring as the Reds fidgeted behind him.

"This isn't about an upgrade," Alec told them. His eyes moved to Johannessen. "It's about making Red version two."

The Reds holding Logan glanced over to Johannessen. 

Johannessen shrugged. "We wanted a breeder, but a stud could work for what we need to do."

" _Wow_ , the word 'do' is taking on a whole other meaning." Alec bit down a grimace. The tacky feeling of his own blood dribbling down his leg was distracting. "I don't hear the word 'cure' in there anywhere, though." He directed the last part to the Reds. "Do you?"

The mercenary lifted his shoulders briefly.

One's face shifted, rock grinding against rock. He dragged his glare to Johannessen.

"You said there was a cure."

"No, I said there _might_ be a cure." Johannessen gestured towards Alec with his gun. "We won't know for sure until we get our hands on an X5 series."

"Keep your hands to yourself," Alec snapped. "If it did any good, I would have hopped up under your microscope myself, but I'm not giving up any _samples_ for a lost cause and to put more money in your pocket." At One's expression, Alec waved towards Johannessen. 

"How much you think he's getting? You don't really think he's doing this out of the goodness of his heart?"

"Right, as if they volunteered out of a sense of some duty," Johannessen retorted. "Whoever's left will get to enjoy the remainder of their days in absolute luxury."

"Whoever's lef—" Alec stared at Johannessen. "These guys fought hard. They died for you."

The mercenary sneered. He gestured behind him with disgust. "They're criminals. Scum of the earth."

"And you guys are okay with this?" Alec shouted to the Reds behind Johannessen. His words bounced everywhere and hopefully reached the other two Reds wherever they are. "Come on; this dickhead is saying you're all expendable!"

"When we lost track of the first Manticore subject, they knew you would be their best chance. In the meantime, we were able to extend their lives longer with _Cale Industries'_ help." Johannessen grunted. "They will at least enjoy freedom and wealth for a period of time when their task is done."

"What freedom?" Alec scoffed. He leaned against a railing, bracing to stand, but his leg shook too much to support him. "Why don't you guys take off now and enjoy what you have left? Why stick around and listen to this asswipe?"

Johannessen's smile flattened. His cold eyes skewered a look at Alec but curved up again. He pulled a remote out of his coat pocket.

"They don't have a choice."

Alec caught the flicker in the Red next to their leader. Number One clenched his jaw.

Behind the pair, Two and Five stood stiffly, their limbs locked in place as they considered the remote Johannessen held.

"They don't know." Alec started to laugh. "Of course you wouldn't tell them."

Johannessen's smirk wavered.

Alec faced the Red who reacted. "The kill switch? It doesn't work."

One's eyes zipped back to Johannessen. His square jaw clenched.

"You'll listen to him?" Johannessen gestured sharply towards Alec. "Look at him! He's cornered, desperate! He'll say anything!"

"No," Alec grated out. He flexed his aching knee, readying it to spring off the ground. A muscle spasmed along his hamstring. Shit, this was going to hurt. He spoke rapidly over Johannessen.

" _You're_ the one who's desperate. Kill switch. Seriously? First, you tell them finding one of us will solve all your problems. Then boo hoo, you were wrong, but hey, you can live up what's left of your short lives, oh but wait, you gotta live under this little shit's thumb until he says you're done."

One turned completely to Johannessen.

"This cause of yours?" Alec tossed in. "Still feel the same?"

"You said you'd get us out of death row. You promised the implant could be fixed," One rumbled. "Our brothers are dead. They gave their lives because of you."

"Brothers?" Johannessen scoffed. He raised the remote higher. One hesitated. The two with Logan edged back. "Don't make yourselves sound noble. You were killers, queued up for your turn in the electric chair. I gave you all a chance of life."

"Some chance," Alec taunted. He steeled himself when he made out Logan's head lifting up a fraction. The defibrillator was nowhere in sight. "You stuck a ticking time bomb in your neck and hope some genetic engineering guy will be invested in trying to save some dudes from _death row_. You ever heard of trial and error? You think this guy here is going to blow all that money saving you guys when it would be cheaper to start over?"

Johannessen's gun jerked up towards Alec. "That's enough!"

Alec could see the Reds wavering. "Listen to me! I know what it's like to be screwed over by your own government! I know it's easier to swallow more lies than face the truth!" He hopped back on his good leg when Johannessen's gun jabbed the air. "But you gotta know your brothers died for nothing more than profit!"

" _He_ is the one who killed your brothers. Three of them who came to this bankrupt country in hopes of finding a cure. If not for yourselves, at least for the others waiting to die back in your country."

Three pairs of eyes dragged away from the mercenary and landed on Alec. Crap, he was hoping they would have forgotten about that.

Alec took a deep breath. "You guys came here and fought under false pretenses. Look, I was defending myself. You were all attacking _me_! For a cure that doesn't exist!"

"Who say it doesn't?"

Alec grounded his teeth as the Reds' attention returned Johannessen.

"We can't manufacture enough to cure all of you. It's why we needed him; we can use his biological system to make sure the next generation of your brothers wouldn't suffer the same faith."

Thin lips curved. "But his spinal fluid might provide a cure. Now. For one."

Johannessen raised his voice. His arms spread. He looked like a preacher, about to praise the heavens.

"There's still a chance for one of you! Prove your worth and loyalty and I assure you, the full weight of our government will strive to cure you!" 

Alec scoffed. That wasn't how things worked. He knew enough of the technical mumbo jumbo to know what Johannessen offered was only another lie. His stomach dropped, though, when he caught the gleam in the Reds' eyes.

Johannessen waved his gun dismissively at Alec. "Oh. And I don't necessarily need him alive."

Two and Five both took a step forward.

Logan lifted his head and looked right at Alec. 

" _Now!_ " Alec hollered.

The spotlight next to the Reds shattered with a well placed bullet.

The rest of the lights abruptly vanished. Alec pushed off from his feet, leaping away.

Johannessen's bullet punched a hole in the wall where Alec's head was.

One shouted angrily. It wasn't clear who it was for.

Five grunted when Logan suddenly rolled into him, knocking the Red off his feet. A high pitched tone sizzled in the air. Two crashed to the floor like a felled tree when two paddles sandwiched his ankle and sent two thousand joules of electricity up the Red's leg. Logan scrambled forward on his elbows and slammed a paddle to Two's neck. Sebastian's defibrillator wailed. Two's arms and legs flopped violently. 

Logan swore, his hands jerking. The smoking paddles clattered to the catwalk.

Under Alec's feet, the walkway groaned. 

A solid force slammed into Alec's midsection. Air rushed out as he crashed to the floor. One's eyes looked almost black when he wrapped his hands around Alec's throat. He pulled and Alec realized One intended to rip his head and spine out.

Another bullet from afar sliced between One and Alec.

One's hands loosened.

Electricity sizzled once more. A sharp whine cut through the chaos. A Red howled beyond Alec's sight. He shoved his arms between One's and knocked One's arms apart. Alec clamored to his feet.

Another shot bit into the catwalk inches from One's position. It was too dark for Matt to see. Nevertheless, One stumbled back. Alec lashed out a roundhouse kick to One's chin. One flew past Logan and the two Reds.

Alec lurched back. His injured leg burned the moment Alec's foot dropped. Alec's knee exploded in pain. His leg folded under him and dropped him hard onto the catwalk. 

The walkway swayed.

Logan grunted as Five kicked the defibrillator away from his hand. Two recovered. His face was a quilt of electrical burns and rage flushed skin. It lurched up, roaring as he raised his foot over Logan's back.

"No!" Alec half-dragged his unresponsive leg towards the three.

Far away, a shot zipped forward. 

Two's head snapped back. Blood splattered on the window and on Logan. The Red dropped with a _thud_. He didn't get up again.

The catwalk whined.

Alec glanced down, his night vision zeroing in on the tiny rusty heads of screws popping free.

"Hang on!" Alec hollered.

Around them, metal screeched.

Over them, metal groaned.

Under them, metal lurched and suddenly vanished from under them.

Alec wrapped his arms around a railing. He screamed for Logan to do the same as the catwalk's brackets came off its housing one screw at a time. Cables snapped and flailed wildly above them as they were charged. Alec saw one lashed out and caught One in the back. Blood arced in an upward spray. The Red dropped.

It was the last straw.

 _Snap snap snap_ went the metal. The catwalk sagged under the weight of everybody on one end. Then it broke free on the opposite end.

Shouts rose as the pass suddenly became a steep decline. There was a moment where it felt like everyone was suspended in mid-air.

Then everyone dropped, slamming and sliding towards the end of the torn walkway.

The shattered spotlight and Alec's pack went skidding past everybody. 

Alec swore as the walkway went almost vertical as it continued to dip. It stayed bolted on one side due to the underpinnings still attached to the wall on Alec's end. 

The screws sawed loudly as they slowly rotated out from the wall. They popped out like corks out of champagne bottles. The catwalk shivered.

Alec frantically searched for Logan.

Logan gripped white knuckled around a railing. His legs, though, hung over the side. Five clawed his way up the railings. The pipes, unable to stay anchored on the walkway, detached one bolt at a time. Five reached towards Logan and the piping that remained attached.

Alec rose to his feet but dropped immediately after. He gritted his teeth, braced...

And let go.

Alec slid down, zipped past Johannessen, too fast to reach over and knock the bastard off his perch. His knee burned hot and cold as it jittered up and down over the surface. He pressed his shoulder to the grating to slow down. He reached out and grabbed the railing and one of Logan's arms. He yanked their arms around the railing just as the walkway violently shuddered.

The surviving attached end of the pathway rumbled. Screws rained down on everyone as the pipes and the suspension chairs above detached. The ground suddenly straightened from its slope as the other end freed itself from the wall. With a shriek, the catwalk pancaked into the third level bridge underneath. It jolted when it landed completely on top of the lower walkway.

Five lost his grip and rolled off the edge. There was a shout. A muffled splash. The vat below gurgled. And the smell of burning flesh rose with the steam.

Logan's left hand slipped.

Alec grabbed Logan's wrist—probably harder than necessary. He grunted as he hooked his foot on the opposite railing to halt Logan's descent over the side.

Logan lurched to a stop. His legs swayed over the side.

"You okay?" Alec panted. He clutched Logan's wrists. He tugged. "Hold on."

"You hold on," Logan mumbled. He was barely understandable, his words leaving clenched teeth and a puffy lower lip. He has a blood streaked mask on the half of his face that wasn't bruised, one eye swollen shut. 

He never looked more perfect to Alec.

"I got you," Alec said as he started to pull Logan back onto the catwalk. "We gotta get off this thing."

"You're bleeding." Logan wrapped an arm around one of the mangled pipes. He grunted, biceps flexing to pull himself higher.

Alec grunted as he drew up to a crouch. His leg screamed at him for it.

"So are you. I guess that makes us even—"

A hard knock slammed into the back of Alec's right shoulder. Everything went red. Then white. Air fled his lungs. 

The blow threw Alec forward. The ground tilted. His hands convulsed and let go.

Alec tumbled out past Logan and over the side.

In the distance, someone—Matt, Phil, Logan?—shouted. 

Alec caught the railing on the second level on his way down. He groaned as his fall stopped abruptly. His shoulder throbbed. Bullet wounds tended to do that. He felt blood—great, more blood—spreading across the back of his shirt, plastering the fabric on both sides. Which meant a through and through. Which meant it was going to hurt for a long time.

Gritting his teeth, Alec glanced up. Logan managed to pull himself completely on the catwalk. He looked over the side, his face bone white. When he spotted Alec swaying in the air with one hand clutching the pipes, his worry didn't seem to decrease. If anything, Logan's concern appeared to have ratcheted up. Alec caught him mouthing 'Alec' as he gazed down.

The vat's hot ooze sent waves of heat from below. Alec thought he could smell the soles of his boots cooking. He gnashed his teeth and somersaulted one handed onto the walkway.

However, the moment Alec's feet touched the surface all his nerves burst into a hot haze. Alec's vision went dark for a second. He fell to the ground.

Johannessen's gun clicked as it aimed for him.

In retaliation, Matt's rifle clacked as a bullet slid into a chamber.

Alec heard the faraway footfall. Before Alec could shout a warning, Matt's shot was knocked off course. It skimmed past Johannessen's throat. 

The mercenary jerked back. 

Phil yelped all of the sudden from far away. His yell cut off. The other Reds were probably buying Johannessen's promise for a cure. The grind of gears in the distance made Alec's chest tighten. But Alec didn't dare look for Phil as he spied Johannessen, hobbling and leaning on the railing, making a beeline for Logan.

The Red named One charged towards Johannessen. 

Logan was in the middle.

"This was all your doing." Johannessen stood swaying over Logan. He kicked away Logan's hand grabbing his leg for a hold. He steadied his gun to Logan's blood smeared forehead. "You never should have interfered with us."

Alec lurched back up to his feet. He jumped, landing on the above catwalk. He let the pain in his leg fuel him. He ran drunkenly towards Johannessen. One reached the mercenary as well, hands reaching for him.

Panting, Alec told himself it didn't really hurt, not to fall, keep moving, don't stop—

With a furious cry, Alec slammed into the two men over Logan. The force propelled the three out the window.

Glass shattered around them. Alec twisted and slapped palms over the sill, halting his fall. 

The Red and Johannessen stopped theirs by grabbing onto Alec's bad leg.

Pain ignited from Alec's knee and coursed up his arms. His fingers spasm as they scrambled to hold. 

"Fuck!" Alec gritted out. Glass rained over his head. Pieces of glass still attached gleamed on the sill edge like jagged teeth. He felt Johannessen digging into his calf. "I can't hold with you both!" 

Johannessen kicked the Red's throat. Something audibly snapped.

The Red let go of Johannessen. He fell without a sound into a junk pile below. He made a wet gurgling noise when he skewered himself on a piece of rebar that jutted out like a horn.

Alec glanced down at the tableau. The rebar, tipped in red, beckoned.

Johannessen clamored, trying to climb Alec like a god damn tree.

"Hold still!" Alec curled his hands tighter around the edge. Years of neglect and possibly poor construction left the structure brittle. Wood disintegrated from the frame. Even if the frame stayed intact, the building around it won't.

Johannessen shot back something unsavory; Alec was tempted to do as the guy did to the Red. But it felt like any sudden moves would uproot his precarious clawlike grip. 

A hand appeared, fumbling in the air until it latched onto one of Alec's wrists.

Logan's bruised and bloody face followed.

"Hang on," Logan ground out. His hand slapped onto Alec's other wrist. In tandem, they pulled.

Johannessen swore as he slipped further down Alec's leg. He wrapped his arms tight around the knee. 

Alec gritted his teeth. The mercenary's fingers dug into muscles already screaming in agony. His weight and gravity pulled at Alec's injured shoulder.

With a wet squeak, Alec's numb right hand dropped off the sill.

Logan grabbed it with both hands.

Alec jolted to a stop.

As a result, Johannessen lost his grip. He fell, screaming until the rebar interrupted him. 

Alec watched Johannessen flailed, nerves ignited into death throes. Finally, the body stilled, limbs flopping back. Gravity dragged the body down the length of the rebar until it was lying on top of the Red. Alec felt a stab a pity for the dead Red underneath the mercenary.

"Can you push up?" It didn't sound like Logan. It was thin, taut as a wire about to snap.

Alec looked back up at Logan. He tested planting his right foot on the wall, pushed and then set his left down to do the same.

Pain flared. Fire raced up Alec's leg, up his back and exploded in his chest.

Alec twitched before he could completely clamp down on the hurt.

Without warning, Alec's left hand cramped and let go.

Logan slammed hard into the wall under the window he was draped over. He relied on hooking over the sill under his arms, but Alec could see it wasn't going to be enough.

"I'm pulling you down." Where the hell was Phil? Was Matt all right? Where was the cavalry? Alec struggled to stay very still, his limbs loose, but he felt himself inching lower, Logan dragged over the sill.

Logan grunted. Whether he agreed or disagreed, it wasn't clear.

"Let go." Another inch; Logan's shoulders were completely over the edge now. "Damn it, Logan, it's only three stories, I'll be fine."

But Alec could see Logan's thoughts. Green eyes flicked to his leg then past Alec's shoulders to the bodies below.

"Feline DNA, remember? I'll land on my fee—let go!"

Logan shook his head. Sweat broke free from his brow and splashed onto Alec's mouth. 

Alec tried to set a foot on the wall again, but it slipped. He slammed into the wall.

Logan was pulled an inch lower.

Alec curled and uncurled his hand, but Logan's grip was unyielding. 

But Logan was still being dragged over the window.

"Babe," Alec whispered, "You gotta let go."

Logan's head lifted. Alec found himself transfixed by dark green eyes, the darkest he's ever seen, almost black with determination.

Jaw set, Logan glanced over his shoulder.

"It's okay," Alec promised him. "I'll be fine. Let go." 

Logan's head vanished from the window. His hands around Alec's wrists twitched.

And tightened.

Alec's breath escaped in a hiss at the sudden tug. 

Suddenly, Alec's body jerked up towards the window. 

Logan's hands curled painfully around Alec's wrists. Alec's fingers started to tingle from the lack of circulation.

Alec grunted as another yank scraped him along the wall. He slapped his other hand on the sill and hauled himself up. To his surprise, no one grabbed his hand. What the hell was the guy doing?

Another wrench and Alec found he could hook his chin over the window. His eyes watered from the strain; everything was a blur. The only thing that felt real was Logan's iron grip.

Logan uttered a curse under his breath. He kept one hand around Alec's wrist, but the other now grabbed a fistful of Alec's collars.

"Give him a hand," Alec mumbled to where he thought the guy would be even as he flapped his dead arm towards Logan. Fabric brushed his fingers and he latched onto what turned out to be the back pocket of Logan's jeans. 

"Who?" Logan gasped as he reared back.

Alec yelped as his knees knocked into the sill. He tumbled out of the window and fell hard to the catwalk.

"Not fun," Alec groaned. "Geez, guys, was I that heavy? Damn it, Phil—"

"Phil?" Logan panted. "Is he here, too? I thought I heard Matt."

Alec frowned. He blinked the haze away from his eyes. "Matt? Wait, if he…" He sat up on his elbows. He stared.

Logan sat by the window, his legs bent awkwardly under him. On the wall, though, there was the distinct smudge of a boot on it, where one would have braced a foot for leverage.

"Babe…"

Logan kneaded his legs. He grimaced. "I don't know about Phil or Matt, but I certainly thought you were heavy."

Alec yanked Logan to him.

Logan made a muffled protest before relaxing into the embrace.

"I can't believe you…How are your legs?" Alec murmured. He cupped the back of Logan's head. "Are they hurting?" He grimaced when he felt Logan's knee jerked against him. "Oh yeah, someone's due for the good drugs."

"Funny," Logan said shakily, "I was going to say the same thing." He carefully swept a hand over Alec's bloodied shoulder.

Alec made a pained noise. "Yes, ouch. Good drugs, good sex, fantastic dinner." He framed Logan's face with his hands. He kissed Logan as he went down the list. He stopped. He pulled away to glare at Logan.

"Did you call me fat?"

Logan huffed. He dropped his forehead onto Alec's good shoulder.

"That's what you take away from all this?" Logan rasped.

Alec kissed Logan's temple and cheek.

"So long I get to take _you_ away from this, hell, call me anything you want, babe."

Alec cast about the room. He frowned.

"I don't see your chair."

"They left it in the van." Logan chuckled roughly. "Apparently they thought I might have hidden a weapon in it."

Alec scowled. He should have thought of that. "Let me find the guys and we'll—"

"Help me up."

Alec's eyes zipped to Logan.

Logan's eyes were huge. He was pale under all the blood; his mouth was set.

"You sure?" Alec rasped.

There was a pause before Logan nodded jerkily. His eyes were uncertain, though.

"We don't have to do this," Alec murmured. He swept a hand over Logan's hair. "Only if you want this."

Logan's eyes flicked over to the broken window. He faced Alec again. His hands rubbed Alec's shoulders and arms, checking if Alec were here.

"I do want this." Logan's throat worked. "Along with a lot of other things."

Alec tapped Logan's nose. "You're a greedy bastard, aren't you?" He noted the scratches across the bridge of Logan's nose. His finger drifted over the red marks.

Logan smiled unsteadily. "I guess I am." It sounded like an apology.

"Finally." Alec kissed the corner of Logan's mouth. He winced sympathetically at the hiss. "Okay, up and off we go to get you drugged to the gills. You're very sexy all dopey and incoherent. Such a turn on."

Alec slipped his arms under Logan's. His shoulder burned, his leg throbbed, but he kept his hold steady as he rose.

Logan clawed Alec's biceps. His breathing quickened and Logan looked like he was going to throw up. But as he was lifted, his legs dropped to set his feet down on the catwalk.

Alec was afraid to speak. He stayed with his knees bent, watching as Logan's legs twitched then trembled as they struggled to bear Logan's mass. 

Logan raised his eyes at Alec. He gave a small nod.

Alec straightened up the rest of the way. He pulled up Logan along until suddenly, Logan's weight eased off his arms. He raised his eyes and he was taken aback that now he needed to raise his eyes higher to look at Logan. He stared.

Swaying on his feet, his hands clutching Alec's shoulders, Logan stared back.

"Damn," Alec said unsteadily, "I mean, it's only an inch but, man…I didn't realize you were taller than me."

Logan huffed out a laugh. He smiled. His eyes were still wide and scared.

"This is going to mess up the whole sex standing up thing I wanted to try."

Logan let out another laugh, higher this time. 

Below him, Logan's knees buckled.

"I got you," Alec wrapped his arms around Logan. He tugged Logan tight to him. Their chests gently bumped together.

"You sure?" Logan whispered wobbly by Alec's ear.

"I'm not letting go," Alec said fiercely back. He crushed his mouth to Logan's.

Logan made a broken sound. His mouth firmed under Alec's. Teeth, tongue, Alec's name, swirled as they locked together.

With a tremor, Logan's knees folded again. Alec squeezed Logan to him even though it felt like his own leg was going to give out as well.

"Your leg," Logan murmured.

"Then we'll fall together," Alec said. He hefted Logan higher until their eyes met again. "Not letting go."

Logan clutched the back of Alec's jacket. His eyes shone as he leaned in.

"Alec, I lo—"

"I'm all right!"

Alec tightened his grip around Logan when Logan started because— _Jesus_ , Phil popped out of nowhere.

"What the hell happened to you?" Alec barked half out of relief. Phil stood before them. There was a weird, whining noise nonstop from his exoskeleton. His hair stood on end. And his left leg kept jittering, kicking out to nothing behind him. He was also grinning like a mad man.

"My battle with one of them was a vigorous affair!" Phil boomed. He hopped in place from foot to foot. Gears squawked. "The tazer barely worked, but I pushed him into the control panel and turned on the tazer again. The explosion knocked me out. I only regained consciousness—"

"I'm all right too, by the way," Matt added dryly as he limped towards them. He gave the sandwiched catwalks a wary look. He nodded to Alec. He didn't bat an eye at Logan half draped over Alec. "Appreciated for the heads up. It took a lot to get him down. Thanks for the assistance."

Alec's brow knitted. "Assistance?" He stiffened when Logan's weight doubled against him.

"Are you two okay?" Logan struggled to turn around. He leaned on Alec heavily, his legs barely holding him up. He kept one arm around Alec and a fist to the back of Alec's jacket. 

Phil's eyes rounded when he got a good look at the two. 

"Did you find your superpowers?" Phil blurted out. He gestured up and down frantically towards Logan. "It was from the stress of your ordeal, yes? You know what this means? This is your origin stor—"

"Phil!" Alec exasperated. "Are you hearing sirens yet? Someone needs an ambulance."

Three pairs of eyes zoomed in on Alec.

Alec glowered. "What?"

Matt rolled his eyes. "Come on. I'll see where SWAT is. Also, I need to sit down."

"I can help you," Phil offered. He spread his arms wide, almost taking out Alec's eye.

Matt's eyebrow arched. He looked over to Alec and Logan. He smirked.

"Do I have to kiss you?"

Phil glanced over to Logan.

Alec bristled. "Well, you're not kissing _him_!"

Logan sighed. "Let's just go." He staggered when he tried to take a step. His legs shook. He clutched the rail. He set his jaw and then took another step.

Alec wanted to pull Logan into a kiss. Instead, he hugged Logan to him. 

"Lean on me," Alec murmured as he watched Logan's feet shuffle forward.

"I was hoping you'll say that," Logan said. He tipped his head against Alec's.

Alec smiled and accepted Logan's weight as they walked out of the warehouse together. 

 

 

"Déjà vu."

"I hope not." 

Alec checked over the pile of television sets, his stomach churning. But just like the past two days, the news reported on the strange group of assassins Neal had hired to kidnap the last heir of _Cale Industries_. Since Logan Cale claimed he couldn't remember what the kidnappers wanted, every news network speculated. 

Original Cindy clicked her tongue as she watched the television screens. One reporter went on and on about the possibility of Neal wanting to force Logan into marrying his daughter so he could regain control of _Cale Industries_. The problem was Neal's daughter was eight years old.

"Original Cindy thinks that is one messed up imagination." Cindy turned back to Phil. "It's almost as wild crazy as yours."

Phil puffed up at what he thought was a compliment.

Alec rolled his eyes. He hoped Mrs. Moreno has it turned on to hockey to watch with Logan. Neither one of them were comfortable leaving her alone. Especially since her PCA Carl fled after a bullet zipped up from their penthouse and into Mrs. Moreno's apartment. 

"It's the least insane one I've heard so far," Matt muttered. He studied the bus critically. He frowned. "I don't see a permit on the window."

"It's fine. I checked." Alec eyed Phil. "We already said goodbye so why don't we—damn it, again with the hugging!"

Alec wiggled free of the gorilla arms. He would have kicked the goofball, but he wore the exoskeleton under his new sweater and jeans Cindy found for him. Fast healing or not, Alec's shoulder and leg still ached. Kicking was not on the table for now.

Luckily, sex was. Boy, the look on Doc and Logan's faces when Alec asked while he was stitched up.

Original Cindy shot Alec a dirty look because she's scary enough to read minds, especially Alec's.

Alec gave Cindy a cheeky grin as Matt clasped Phil's hand and wrist for a firm handshake.

Cindy snorted. She gingerly shook Phil's hand and stepped back before there could be a repeat of last time.

"Detour, right?" Phil asked, suddenly looking unsure. Brown eyes blinked at Alec.

Alec's mouth twisted into a rueful grin. "Yea, we're still the good guys, man."

"Your mother will think so, too," Matt added.

The lines on Phil's forehead smoothed out. He walked backwards a few steps, unable to tear his eyes away from the trio. He gave them a nervous smile, turned around on his heels and plodded up the steps into the bus. The beat up silver vehicle started after two tries and with a groan, puffed towards the sector gates.

Cindy jabbed Alec with her elbow. Alec pretended to wheeze.

"Original Cindy knows you're going to miss him."

The bus's rear window flapped open. Phil stuck his head and shoulders out.

"Seattle! Fear not! I will return!" Phil yowled as he flapped both hands at them.

Alec covered his face. Matt shook his head and muttered under his breath. They glanced up and exchanged a look. They snickered.

"All right, maybe," Alec conceded. He draped an arm around Cindy's shoulders. He whined when Cindy shoved at him, but she gave up with a huff.

"Bet you're going to miss me," Alec said, singsonged. "Who's Normal going to yell 'bip bip bip' to?"

"You."

Cindy smacked a form over Alec's eyes. She swore when Alec retaliated by licking her wrist before she withdrew her hand.

Alec snickered. He ducked behind Matt as he read the form. He skidded to a halt in front of Matt, nearly tripping the detective.

"Worker's comp?" Alec gaped at the form.

Matt smirked. "Undiagnosed injuries from the explosion you were caught in while on the job."

"Your doctor friend provided x-rays." Original Cindy pulled the films out of her bag.

Alec blinked at the scans. "X-rays?"

Matt smirked. "And the police finally got around submitting an incident report. Stating Dean Heather was trapped in the _Cale Industries'_ explosion during work hours." 

Alec held the form away to read. He pulled it back closer to double check. "So…I'm coming back to work at _Jam Pony_ next week?"

"It's what you wanted, isn't it?" Cindy asked tentatively.

Alec whipped around and dipped Cindy before kissing her. She shrieked and squirmed free.

"Original Cindy changed her mind!" Cindy shouted as she wiped her mouth with the back of her arm. She chased Alec around Matt. "Give Original Cindy back the form!"

 

 

"When you said celebrate, I thought you meant dinner."

Alec pressed in and ground his renewed erection against Logan's hip.

"Thought it might be fun to go straight to dessert," Alec murmured. His finger circled a hardening nipple. He licked a damp stripe between the pecs. He slipped a hand underneath and squeezed a firm cheek.

Logan arched his back. The long line his body made was intoxicating. The way his thighs quivered against Alec's sides when Alec piston into that dark heat made his balls tighten at the memory. 

Sure, Logan made a fancy meal: pork chops, the stuffing Alec liked, even some delicious anchovy concoction spread on crunchy baguettes. They were going to congratulate themselves for Neal's life sentence. They were going to celebrate Alec's job. Back to work with those weirdos and Normal, getting underpaid and overworked. It was a crappy job. He gets paid more pulling a high rise job once a week. 

Alec found himself riding on a high as he wrapped himself around Logan. He thrusted up into that glorious body. He found he couldn't stop. Logan was more than happy _not_ to stop him. And dinner ended up cooling outside for the past few hours.

"Jesus," Logan gasped as Alec's cock breached him again. He was still loose, wet and warm. Logan's fingers dug half moons into Alec's arms as he was bodily hauled higher over Alec's lap. The angle changed and it was evident Logan felt it. He let it show on his face as he shuddered and grunted. The pace quickened and Logan's thighs shook as they gripped Alec. Logan threw his head back, his mouth gaping airlessly as Alec leaned forward, changed the angle again and pounded.

"Alec!" Logan cried out. His fingers drew blood. But the pain was insignificant, overpowered by the swirly hot pressure building at the base of Alec's spine. Alec growled, pressed forward, bending Logan double and snapped his hips forward to claim him.

The two came simultaneously, shouting as cum spilled. There were tears. From whom, it didn't matter. It felt like joy damp on their skins. Alec continued to stroke into Logan and Logan let him, despite shivering and moaning because his nerves were stripped raw.

It finally became too much for _Alec_. He finally understood why he felt wetness on his cheeks. He understood why even though Logan was alive and whole before him, it still didn't feel like Logan was close enough. Alec got why it felt like his insides were ice cold when he slipped out of Logan's body. And when Logan groaned, disappointed, Alec was the one who felt empty with the loss.

Alec snagged a corner of the sheet and cleaned them off. Logan whimpered when Alec brushed the fabric over his entrance to catch the trickles of cum. Logan wiggled away from the touch because he could feel Alec's teasing probe with the sheet.

"Sorry." Alec kissed Logan's sweat damp throat. "Okay, let's take a breather. Nap. Then food. Doctor's orders, remember?"

"You're both ridiculous," Logan grumbled. He rolled awkwardly to curl towards Alec. "But I lo—" He yawned. "…anyway."

A swell of heat bloomed in Alec's chest. He thought of all those times Logan mumbled those words to Alec. He thought of them crouched inside the shed as Logan bled in his arms. He thought of Logan losing consciousness by his hand.

_"You don't need to do this. My leg…"_

_"Will hurt like hell and your body is going to feel that no matter what." Alec didn't want to do this. It wasn't fair. Rachel. And now Logan. By his hand, no matter what his intentions were. "Just relax into it."_

_"I trust you," Logan whispered. "Alec, it's okay…I lo—"_

Alec's eyes burned. He mouthed the words and sealed the pact on Logan's skin by pressing open-mouthed kisses around the faint echo of heartbeats in Logan's chest.

_"Rachel, come with me," 494 pleaded._

_Rachel's eyes were wide, like the day she kissed him and pulled away to ask if it was okay. "No! Tell me what's happening!"_

_Do his mission. No, save Rachel. Do his—_

_"I was sent here to kill your father," 494 blurted out._

_Rachel paled. "What?"_

_"It was my job. You were my job." 494 grabbed her wrists. "But not anymore. Come with me. Let's go. Rachel, I lo—"_

_Rachel slapped him._

_Stunned, 494's hands slackened._

_And Rachel ripped free._

_"Daddy!" Rachel screamed. She ran for the car. The target paused, one leg in the car. He stepped out completely as Rachel grabbed him, pushed him away from the car, turned to run and…_

_The timer was flawless. He was trained for this. Yet when he saw Rachel flung to the ground, a halo of blood around her, her father tossed back as well, 494 was at a loss of what to do._

_He was going to tell her. But it didn't matter in the end._

Alec's chest ached. He wondered if this was the cliché heartbroken feeling many referred to. He rubbed his chest idly.

Logan was inches away from Alec's mouth. Within kissing distance, as some would say. He stared at the full lower lip, pink and swollen because kissing Logan never stopped at the one. The bruises from Johannessen and his men were fading and staring at the cuts on Logan's face no longer made Alec want to destroy something.

But this feeling…

It felt like a kernel of light pulsing in Alec's chest. It was something that glimmered, feebly as if unsure of its welcome. Sometimes it flared into brilliance like whenever Logan laughed a certain way or tilted his head when he reads. And sometimes it flooded every part of Alec's being. Those happened suddenly even if Logan wasn't in the room.

Alec knew this feeling.

Logan's mouth fell open slightly. A low wheezy noise whistled and shit, Alec felt his mouth stretching to grin foolishly at Logan as he snuffled and drooled in his sleep.

"Gross," Alec chirped. He prodded Logan.

Logan snorted sleepily and rolled onto his back.

Alec settled with his ear over Logan's heart. He slipped his arms around Logan and kissed the curve of Logan's clavicle.

Logan wrinkled his nose, his hands restlessly searching until his palms slipped over Alec's shoulders and arm. He settled with a sigh.

"Loo vo Al at," Logan mumbled as he sank into deeper sleep.

Alec tilted his head up. He stared at the chin, the shadow of stubble that dusted across jaw. He thought of how that lush mouth shaped the words, forming them so easily even if he couldn't bring himself to complete them out loud. He envied how Logan could say it, even halfway, when Alec felt like running even _thinking_ the words.

"Hey," Alec whispered. He tucked against Logan. His heart hammered, waiting for an explosion that won't come. His body braced for it anyway.

"I…" Alec bit his lower lip. He closed his eyes and listened to the quiet and familiar _thump-thump_ of Logan's heart. Please don't let it ever stop. He dropped a kiss on a pec.

"Love you," Logan sighed, clearer now.

Alec's eyes burned. His throat worked. He was still waiting to smell smoke, but he pushed on.

"Yea," Alec whispered as the feeling in his chest spread. It was a blanket of warmth Alec thought felt was familiar and strange and scary all at the same time. 

"I love you, too."

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates, news, apologies and my blubbering of thanks, gratitude and more thanks are on my Tumblr page. I didn't want to clog up the pages here. If you're interested in seeing where I am with the final book, questions about it and progress with my pro work, feel free to wander over to [http://d8rkmessngr.tumblr.com/](http://d8rkmessngr.tumblr.com/post/153883569496/storyboards-plot-holes-and-gratitude).
> 
> See you all very soon!


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